How To Be More Assertive 

Everything in our culture enslaving us. No youtuber can fix this

Facts

Oh yes he has nice way about him. Great video too

So sexy too! The perfect white man!!!

Hahaha, let’s see how many others do the same 😂😂😂

😂😂

Dyslexia can be a gift aswell as a curse

count the days sweetheart. be careful driving.

when is it a gift😭​@@bugzyhardrada3168

It is by far one of the hardest things to do. Let's call it emotional intelligence on steroids. Good luck, you got this.

I would like this comment but it’s gotta stay at 69 likes

“Be more assertive!” Bee beep *puts finger in pocket “Not INsertive!”

Don’t be so hard on yourself. Everyone here feels like a piece of shit. 😂

Love that RU-vid is helping us all collectively grow up 💯💯💯

I lived like that all my life too up until the past year or two ago. I always put myself last and made sure I was the one always looking out for my friends and family and all I ever got besides being taken advantage of and walked all over was the occasional smile and a thank you. Well within the past year or so at 25 years young I decided that I've finally had enough of all that. If this world is going to do nothing but abuse me for what I have to offer, and there's no other way for me to get what I want and the respect that I know I deserve, then I'll play their game right alongside them. I forced this change upon myself by quitting my job and throwing myself into a field where a submissive personality will ensure absolute failure (that being carpentry/construction) it was extremely difficult at first and the first six months or so were absolute hell because all my life up until now I've been that submissive quiet little boy who is hesitant to speak first or walk in the door ahead of anyone else. Even if you keep your head down some of these guys are like sharks smelling blood in the water and they will target you if they think you're weak. I went through several jobs and companies and learned many skills as I did so, practical ones yes but more importantly how to stand up for myself and how to not only stand up to "bullies" but also how to get along with them and turn them from bully to friend. Today I am a roofer doing some of the hardest physical labour of my life, but I have since developed a strong backbone by surrounding myself with others who also have one, and now every day I am eager to get up there and work with men who respect me. Even though I am the least experienced guy on the roof, I can tell that the guys all respect me because I take initiative and show an eagerness to learn and work hard, and whenever someone teases or gets frustrated I just give it right back to them and we still wish each other good night at the end of the day. Going through this transition was without question the single most difficult and life-altering thing I have ever done, but I am so incredibly glad that I did it and that I never gave up, because I am so much happier with the man that it made me. And I am personally proud of the man I have become, it's honestly probably the first time in my life I've ever felt genuinely proud and accomplished with myself. I don't know how I allowed myself to be that weak little doormat for so many years. Now I'm not saying that you have to go and do a really hard job to learn how to stand up for yourself. I'm just saying this is what worked for me, that was far from the only reason I went down this career path but it was a big one. My main point is, as someone who has successfully made the change and came out the other side the better, I promise you it is absolutely worth every second of struggle it takes to get there.

it will piss everyone off lol

You’re not a lone brother. We are here with you. 🤝

​@@alexfish477seems us men really gotta master it all. Health, finance, friends, family, communication....

@@alexfish477Hey. Way to be super and quickly judgmental. Like, maybe he means boxing lessons?

​@@kevinel1398Alex says "Thats nice." And then tells about his own experience

@@alexfish477 I think he meant just the topic of this video, not physical fighting. I have tried to feel more confident by practicing martial arts but never turned into a tough guy, still remaining insecure. Because I never dared speaking up about the small things, let alone handling physical violence. This video advocates starting small since the devil is in the details.

@@alexfish477uhh, like… you just fought random people on the street? Cause I just took kickboxing classes and learned how to wrestle big opponents 😂😂

Your behaviour might be faulty, but you are not therefore broken. Keep your chin up.

Agreed, 19 here. Have watched every single self improvement RU-vidr and he’s by far the most genuine and the healthiest for your mental health

I agree

Recommend you guys checkout Dr K too

shit same dude

Thank you :)

What a great positive assertion! Thank you for taking the time to type this Suri :)

i dont know your gf but I think these days, anyone that simply says no to a woman or isnt a pushover is automatically labeled as controlling. I say, dont change your ways and if she cant understand that... well thats why she's an ex!

I can really relate to this thanks for sharing

Thanks for your support. That's a great suggestion. I'll do a little bit of research on the topic and see what I can find, then I'll make a video about it. It seems you're asking about how to avoid being a people pleaser, and like you said, how to maintain healthy levels of empathy. Is that correct?

@@NewelOfKnowledge well not sure if it has to do with people pleasing, I'd say it's more on how to not be hyper empathetic to the point it affects us negatively. It's less about how you "show" your empathy and more about how it internally affects you when you don't emotionally distance yourself and remember that the suffering is theirs and not yours. Hope that makes sense. And thanks for considering my request!

1 on 1 lessons where I demonstrate assertiveness would be more informative 😙

Fearfulness and unassertiveness is the reason why it would be hard to take a chance and say something out loud so it wouldn’t be wrong to call that timidity. It IS negative because it holds the person back from being authentic and standing up for themself. There’s nothing wrong with admitting that. That’s kind of a display of “toxic positivity” to sugarcoat and minimize something that causes distress for a lot of people- myself included- just because acknowledging the negative consequences of the trait makes you uncomfortable.

And actionables? Subbed fs

Thanks for sharing!

You're great. I can tell you've thought about this stuff a lot! Keep the comments coming in the future (for any potholes you find in my points, I genuinely appreciate it).

@@NewelOfKnowledge I enjoyed watching your video. I can see you put a lot of work and thoughtfulness into giving generously to your audience. The effect is super! 🙌 Thanks for creating this space here. Did you guess this is one of my favorite topics? lol Assertion as a social lubricant actually works wonderfully when you can get a group of people together who are all simultaneously choosing it. And the natural reward we get from it seems to pay out over the rest of a lifetime. I’ll pass you the one-liner I learned in teacher college (2003) and used in my classroom: “Assertion is being able to say ‘no’ and accept ‘no’ as an answer without extra emotions.” I giggled when you taught the “I statements.” I taught that lesson SOOOO many times and use them often. They work. You did great! One last note on this: When in a relationship holds true mutual respect the “because” part - one’s reasoning - is not actually important. Respect is using actions and words that show others they are important. People who truly respect you don’t need to understand your reasoning - they simply accept your needs as you express them without any judgement and maybe lend a hand if they can. At least, they get out of your way. True benevolence has no other motive. Good people want to know your reason. Moral people might attack you if they think you don’t have the right reason. 👀 Be careful out there!

Thanks for sharing Kate. It's great to hear you've been making new friends. It sounds like you're discovering where you would like to balance your extroversion and introversion. All the best with it!