This is wonderful and very helpful, thank you. Re step 4, I personally dont think forgiveness is necessary to move forward, however acceptance is necessary. Re step 5, reminds me of life coaches, e.g., helping others move forward. Thanks again.
Thanks for this. Pretty sure one couldn't move through all the steps without the help of a good therapist. Looks like a lot of work. I think many people don't really understand what forgiveness means - from my point of view it doesn't mean making yourself ok with what happened - it wasn't ok. It means putting it all down, not dragging it about with you any more, letting it continue to ruin your life. I recognise my parents were damaged by war, without the tools to help them heal from it. They were not purposefully wicked. It's great that therapists like you are available to help with the consequences of all that now.
I agree, I think that my parents were damaged. Not by war in my case but by their parents. I think that they loved me but we're too damaged to show it in a healthy way.
I love your meditations or I should say your talks. They are very well informed about things like what happens in the brain, for any number of reasons May i simply askthat you talk about borderline personality disorder? because I hear you saying that you can choose this or choose that and people with bordrlije personality are terrified of abandonment, real or perceived.... and as I speak and for several years now I've been abandoned to awful little boarding homes for lots of money in rent, And the present one is costing me $900 a month and I'm told by the manager that he doesn't need the money when he gets somebody in here fast and they leave almost as fast as they get here because of things that are going on here, verbal abuse and gossip between all of about residents. Plus: same thing from the woman who cooks here. What happens to the mentally ill in mental health awareness month here in the US!! You sound like you might be from the UK, and I don't know , really. Here in America, it's May and May is supposed to be a mental health awareness month I got verbally abused by some overworked nurse in the ER , here in America at most private or public hospitals or in general, all the nurses and psych tecchs, etc... at least in the hospitals where I've been admitted to psych units all over Birmingham Alabama… They want their 12 hour shifts so that they can have three days or four days on and then three or four off and so they get stressed and they take it out on whom? Maybe you guess correctly: the mentally ill?
Is secure attachment an idealization of human being? What's your opinion? I observe that, everyone, begins with one of the 3 attachment styles and, afterwards, we can create a secure one.
For good mental health and good relations we want a secure attachment style. Some people have a secure attachment style due to good parenting / supportive early relationships. If we are not securely attached we can move to an earned attachment style by following the steps in the video My video on attachment theory goes into this in more detail. Best wishes. Teresa.
@@LewisPsychology I’ve had a really bad childhood and been through some abusive relationships. I’ve been dating a girl for 3 years who’s has been one of the most loving and kindest people I’ve ever met, however 3/4 months into the relationship I had a really bad panic attack and since they’ve I’ve just wanted to run away, feel avoidant, urges to break up, hyper focus on her flaws even though there’s no danger. Felt like I’m going to loose my independence. I’ve tried everything from CBT/ACT, adhd meds and diagnoses and currently on mirtazapine which have all helped. I’ve broke up with her a total of 3 times thinking if I leave all these feeling, anxiety and emotions will stop, there was a 1 week relief or couple of days then after that i regretted my decision and wanted her back. Anyway, we got into a small argument over nothing and i stonewalled in fear, she said she couldn’t do this anymore and now i feel awful. I’m going to start EMDR so I hope it helps or works.
