How to Break NO CONTACT with Your EX (EXACTLY What to Say, and How to Say It) 

To be clear, since I didn’t put a disclaimer at the beginning of the video. ideally no contact should be forever. Or until they reach out to you first. This is essentially for those who are unwilling to let go without one last try. This is why I call it a Hail Mary. And I spent more than half the video stressing why it is best to not message first. But since I get this question so much, The point is, if you must. If you are too anxious to walk away without knowing, this is how I would do it.

If you got dumped. DONT DO IT lol - Just trust me. They chose to leave, respect it and give them what they want (yes it hurts.. A LOT). Let them go heal and you do the same. - Work on you, none of us are/were perfect, figure out what you could have done better rather that was showing up more for them or for yourself. Forgive them and move forward. I highly suggest NOT jumping into dating immediately. Take advantage of the alone time and no distractions and really work on yourself. - You're worth AT LEAST a text from them at bare minimum especially after 3-4 months and if they cant do just that.. the "bare minimum" trust me just keep it pushing.

I stopped counting after 50+. Never thought I’d get here. Still feeling strange on some days. Other days I feel like I could take on anything. It’s a process. Keep strong y’all.

I personally disagree with texting your ex or reaching out to your ex first. She's not gonna respect you. The only way to get your ex back is if your ex makes an effort to get into a relationship with you. Forget about reaching out to them. You'll thank me for it

7 months broken up after 6 years... 2 months full NC after a senseless fight and getting blocked on social media... Did all the mistakes...kept contacting sporadically for months again... Tbh....felt better after the block. I miss her badly, but constantly popping up on my social media month after month was taking a bad toll on me... This week was her birthday. If she had been still on my list, I'd have crumbled and sent her a message. My "hail mary", if I ever get to send one, is New Year. In the meanwhile, I'm still working on myself. Either way, I'll be fine...

The bottom line is, dont break it. I been in no contact for 5 months.

I have been blocked since June 27th and i am only week away from 3 months of true NC no mutual friends involved anymore i got rid of them...But i can say that i am in way better place emotionally ever since our breakup since April 23rd

It's been almost 2 months of NC for me. I already feel like a completely different person because of the self-work I've been putting in: meditation, courses, and exercising. It sounds crazy but I'm worried I may outgrow my ex by the time she reaches back out. Maybe that's just the frame of mind we need to be in in order for things to finally come full circle and you get your power back to make a decision.

My goal in NC is to build myself and fix myself to be a better person. Hopefully, she noticed it

I have never been called back by an employer ever

You're MY HERO BROTHER, I LOVE YOU FOR ALL YOUR KNOWLEDGE

Finally! The way you are explaining it is so simple and can be easily apply. That is so clear what is crucial in this message! No like other viral videos about this topic... by listen them I had an impression that I'm missing some magical skills. Thanks a lot for recording it!

5 months and theres been no communication between us, a simple argument over the phone and that was it. I think its safe to say its over. Its very difficult to move on.

This is good and thanks for the info! 🙌🏾 I’m 1.5 months out of my 4 month (high connection) relationship so I’m going to stay the course. Not because I have a motive to get back, although there’s no bad blood, but because I have to do what’s best for me and my growth.

Me can't stop listening to you

Gotta say coach, This one hits my break up nearly perfectly. I appreciate the content you provide. It has helped me fully focus on myself while I appreciate the beautiful moments I had with my ex and still maintain “no contact”. I am feeling my value increase within the first month that I look forward to what else I can accomplish with each following month. I also see how unattractive I became and I found myself not loving myself. Your words have resonated with me that I am not even in a place, at the moment, I should be dating. So my goals now are to fix that first before I worry about the relationship possibilities that will come later.

I've really appreciated your videos. Can't wait for a live video for the opportunity to chat.

I did no contact for 4 months and I caught her following and following me on instagram but still did not reach out! After about a month of watching her lurk on my social media I finally reach out and said I see you lurking what's up! She came back with I miss you and asked can she take me out for brunch Saturday! I haven't responded because I don't know her intentions!

Can you do more videos on after your ex contacts you after NC and you meet for a date. Also on how to handle when they are texting and calling you more and more BUT they are very specific with their words to keep distance or say phrases like " its too soon to be hopeful" or " it makes them cry thinking about ways to let us grow together"

Ladies and Gentleman Important Message! NO CONTACT IS 4 EVER!

What if the breakup was mutual and no one dumped the other? You know what they say, it takes two to tango.

Thanks for the clarification

Just keep on making the best version of your self and hold steady fast to breaking no contact one’s self value and who you now become inn the eyes of the lord ways more to stand still and keep on going forward ! And checking if your goals !

If they are in a rebound, absolutely under no circumstance reach out or try to contact them. They will view and make you out to be a joke to the new supply. As coach said, if they had high attraction, the motivation to work is high, but it always goes up, and down always at some point. They feel they have a better sort outside us, and look for others while still with us on the down low. That's how rebounding works. If it's around three months or less, that's a rebound, that's not enough time for any healthy person to heal. Stay strong, keep your chins up, I had it happen to me, I went dark with the quickness right after, remove yourself from the equation= room for growth with time.

He blocked me yesterday and just called me but there was silence on the other end. I said hello twice then hung up after he said nothing. I feel like maybe someone was there but I kinda doubt it. I think he was definitely checking to see if he was blocked which he isn't. I'm not calling or texting. I love him but he's horribly mean. I deserve better. He told me he doesnt love me and I'm not what he wants.

My ex who broke up with me 2 weeks ago just hit me up asking for money to get to work, shids wild.

Your videos are so great... Thank you!

I believe in NC.....if they walked away ...then they are gonna have to approach me first...I know my value

Never break no contact

Can you do a video about no contact when kids are involved.

You’re a real one

I've done no contact going on 5 months now my ex girlfriend would hit me up asking how I been and I only kept it short with her. No conversation no getting back together no meeting up or anything. I've been at peace ever since about to get my new place very soon.

Appreciate this

Funny the timing on this I had been in no contact for 4 months and they reached out once during that time and the conversation ended very quickly didn’t think I’d hear from them again so I just sent a message because I was at a point of fuck it what do I have to lose and they actually responded and I honestly wasn’t expecting it and don’t even know where to go from here 😂

Recently been in no contact with ex of 5+ years for bout 4 months. We separated early 2022 and since we have only been in short contact and kept it simple. I have then moved on and healed. She left me fyi. But this was our longest no contact of any sort. Recently we saw each other in a setting and she looked at me and smiled and waved and instead of smiling and waving back, I approached her. The conversation was good. Just asking the simples “ how are you, etc etc “ She said if I still had the same number and I said yes And she told me my whole number. Is it weird that she still has my number saved even after all this time? I don’t have hers saved.

He reached out asking if I’m dating yet after 3months.

There really is not stats for them coming back. It’s just random, you can do everything right and it won’t matter. Guys just stop wasting your time, if you hear nothing after 60 days, it’s over.

Coach i started no contact today wish me luck , love your videos man

I just broke it today but I took your advice and sent a simple text, not one where hey let’s get back but hey how you been hope you’re doing well nothing where it’s let’s get back together or forcing anything upon her even tho she broke up with me and I was in no contact for 3 1/2months and just broke it today

Trying NC at the moment, 3 weeks in and he has called once in every week, but I don’t answer …. I’m still going to keep going, the disrespect hit too hard.

@blacademic does this concept also apply to a person who you were dating for months and pulls away?

they definitely think they are better at the time of the breakup

Sometimes I have to remind myself to look at the bigger picture and be patient. I’m thinking in my head “if it’s been 4/6 months I’ve done the work I needed to do, should I throw 1 final text before continuing my life”… then I’m like bro it’s been 40 days chill😂 only a matter of time before I get that “hey how are you doing?”

Coach it’s times I be ready to cut the video off because I be ready to get in the shower or I’m at work but I leave the video on because you start to get deep but I know I can’t pick up the phone and call her yet 😂 prayers y’all pray for your boy😆

One more video make On unblock How to contact

Started no contact and unfollowed my ex let’s see what happens

My ex has tried blocking me everytime she is angry with me when I'm bothering her. But she keeps on unblocking me also. I tried not replying to her message for 3 hours and she followed me on IG. But until now we are still not okay and on a 1 week NC. And she wants to break up with me since she told me I couldn't give her a space.

She unblocked me in the messenger after a month of no contact. So I messaged her saying.... THANKS FOR UNBLOCKING ME. the next day I've seen my account block again. What is this move from her? Is she still interested ?

He didn’t walk away. I did

You made a video about saying something to hurt them making the breakup permanent. Is this the case a 100 percent of the time

The one who broke the relationship should be responsible for breaking no contact if and only if they want the relationship back.. yes ??

I was in no contact, and my ex broke it once after replying to my story when I went to the hospital. But then yesterday she broke it again but started cussing me out and mad and told me to never talk to her again because a rumor was told that I was sleeping with other girls and all of this and that. I think I might’ve calmed her down but I definitely feel like I might’ve chased again. I’m losing hope and idk if there’s still a chance or not. In our relationship I was controlling, untrusting, and let my past interfere with what I had. I’ve grown to finally see how I was and feel like a completely different person. Idk if I still have a chance to show her that or not after all of this. I went back to no contact after yesterday.

What if I broke it off? I felt a change, wanted to talk about it and got blown off. No begging, overtexting. No contact for 12 days. I don't think there is anything to work out.

What if they still got your pics up on social media? Nc 11 days took all my furniture left out the house no arguing…the other day she posted a pic that she would usually do with me …I think she’s having 2nd thoughts but I have to let her feel it

I started NC 5 months ago, and every month during this time, my ex would message me asking how am I doing. Recently, he commented on my Mother’s Day story, where I expressed how much I missed my mom. He commented that he hopes I’m okay and that I should take care of myself always. Would it be okay if I reach out this time and ask how he’s doing?

I wouldn't break no contact under any circumstance

My ex came back to me telling me really nice things for almost two weeks that he wanted me back then all the sudden he text me and telling me that he just wanted to friends.. because he had hurt me too much that he rather not be with me. The thing is that I caught him in a lie last night and replied that in the morning that he only wants to be friends... He got mad at me for telling him about the lie...

Hi coach, I am still confused as to when you said if they do not respond it gives you all the answers you need. Does that mean they are still in the relief stage and we need to give them more time or they are just not interested at all? I texted at the 3 month mark (saw this video late).

Coach! So how do I go about, me walking away only cuz she ignored me and never communicated with me on any thing just balled up in emotion for 2 months and every time I wanted to talk things out she always had and excuse about being busy with work. Mind you she haves 2 jobs as a nurse assistant and waitress where we work together so every time I wanted to talk she push me away or ignored me! So I took the hint and walked away after a long talk with her about how the relationship was going, I wished her the best and to do what made her happy and haven’t talked to her since… We looking at little over 2 months, So the relationship was shaky since April but I ended like I said in July! Note she cried after I walked away and never turned back, sad part we work together and constantly feel like she’s watching me at work and at all my social media as well! 🤷🏽‍♂️ I been watching pretty much all your videos for the last 3+ months and feeling stronger but theirs days I struggle when I see her at work 😔

It’s bern 5 months NC.. i am trying to walk away. Still very hard.

Hello coach Blac, and what about reaching them if they deleted our number ? Still a good idea ?

See if they still send messages every few days or every day - little ones like asking how you are or what you're doing - should you respond to them if you're in no contact? I can never get my head around this - whether no contact just means you don't message first, or it also means you don't reply unless the message they send is meaningful. Thank you ❤

I’ve heard you say in videos that you should never break no contact but now this?☺️ I’m confused. It’s been almost 7 months now i think. I have done NC properly and definately done some work on myself but i’m not sure if i should reach out or not…

You said that if the relationship was somewhat abusive. Not to go no contact asap. But try to reconcile. I’ve tried for 6 weeks, went no contact for 2 weeks and called but she answered. Cried saying how much she misses me and loves me but she doesn’t know if it’s a good idea to meet up or she doesn’t know if she wants to work it out.. she’s scared to take the risk she says.. I believe we can get past this because it was never abusive til it was. We’ve been together 9 months.. what are my next steps for reconciliation? No contact again?

What if you no longer want them back? Do you just ignore their message?

Curious as to why your videos are processed through the lens of the man leaving the woman? Is there any specific reason for that?

Mine just contacted me. With a jealous text about me and other people. And an article about when men lose their feelings for women. The end of the text message said I will eventually get over you. Please don’t respond. She broke up with me you know and acting like a victim

Hi coach, when do you go live again? I’m conflicted on contacting ex because of his birthday coming up, just in a nice way, not to try to get him back. We tried a few months ago but I ended the conversation and went no contact again because it seemed like he was trying to sabotage again. Can I just say happy birthday and wish him well? It’s been 10 weeks now, he is a DA.

I’ve been on no contact for about 3 weeks now. Few days back she texted me, “hi, how are you doing” but I didn’t reply, then she said, “I’m texting you and you’re not replying. Ok. Keep doing you.” I don’t think she really understands how badly she hurt me. I still didn’t reply and she hasn’t texted till today. In 2 or 3 months, I’ll probably be in a new relationship

Please how can I reach out to you

I broke no contact multiple times and told I was moving on …is there still hope this was only a week after the breakup ?

What if he’s family don’t stop contacting me?

Called her today after 4months no contact.. she picked up and said she’ll talk to me later.shes at work… idk what to do/say

What if he cheated on you, which is why they left?

I’m 26 days into no contact and found out that my ex girlfriend’s cat died a few days ago, should I reach out and send my condolences or stay in no contact?

Should the amount of time you wait to reach out be proportional to how long you were together

Nooo he's moved on 😢

We were only in a relationship for 5 months. Does it even count?

But if you are not being checked for, if youre not on social media, blocked, theyre dating here/there, not seeing u or calling/texting u for months on end (5 months or more), all of this is in vain, Coach...they wont miss u, dont miss u, so how will they come back around? Especially if they feel u arent worth it

I wish this video was out 3 months ago. 😂

I need help from you

I think this happend to me but he made up bs just to leave

Just broke no contact after 8 months… got one response and now I’ve been “left on read” for 4 days now.

Should I keep my ex on my social medias? She's been looking at my stories on Insta and idk if this is bad for no contact

She wound up monkey branching to a friend. Could this work in that situation? I’m not planning on breaking no contact since our last contact on August 29th. Our split was on June 23rd. She has lied and smeared me since that time. I have gone complete radio silence on social media and everything. I want her to heavily regret throwing our five and a half year relationship away and see through this other guy.

Should I break no contact with a girl I never had a relationship with? We talked for a few days and her high interest just seemed to vanish because she started ignoring me a month ago. I dont have her on social media, can I break no contact successfully by approaching her in real life too? Would love some insight on my situation. Thx

Who is supposed to send thd first text after no contact

what if they respond but its kinda dry

Will I get her come back? Me and my ex are in good terms and we settled to become friends, but I still have feelings for her, and she isn't really moved on, should I still show interests in her but I'll focus on myself 100%?

If the break up was 11 months ago, had a no contact period of 5 weeks and you have tried everything to get back together. Now we havent been talking for 3 months, what do i say?

I am 12 days in

What if I’m the one who ended things? He told me that he would stay away if that is what I need to heal but I can reach out to him anytime. I’m on day 3 of no contact. Will this work for me too?

I'm trying to do no contact, but we have kids together. How do that work

Does this apply if I was the one that broke up?

Coach i am in nc 30 days i wanna talk with my ex to ask him hangout is it ok

And if you were together for 6 months? Is 3 a 4 months not too long??

I owe my ex $300 which I’m gonna send her on Friday, does that break no contact lmao?

If we are all doing the no contact, how are we ever able to communicate and resolve issues? If we have to do a no contact more than three months - time to move on. People need to learn to communicate and be honest with each others. I pray he doesn’t wait till it’s too late to reach out. I care about him so much!

But what if he is seing another woman now?

4 weeks into no contact here. It’s been tough but im still staying the course. I know i shouldn’t break contact nor do i want to, but her birthday is coming soon and I wanna make an exception to just text her Happy Birthday and that’s it. I still do care about her as a person but idk if it’s worth breaking NC for that.