4 years relationship, 10 months of no contact while she has a rebound. Yep, I guess she didn't love me that much but it doesn't matter. I feel better and now I do love myself even more than before. Stay strong guys 💪
my dude. no need to make quick assumptions. The only logical reason for ur ex getting a rebound is that they don't wanna feel the pain of the loss of YOU!! So, they cope by dating other ppl and jumping into relationships So, ignore the fact. Mostly, unsecure attachments do that. The rebound won't work for a very long time and eventually they will come back. But now, you should detach and work on yourself and YOU. Bc if they do come back the new you can decide are they worth it?? What are they bringing to the table?
@@kuznezhovaelvirs845 exactly my dude, thanks for your precious words !!! I have improved a lot and I'm not done yet, I got a lot of work to do !!! 😃 I'm proud of myself and I'm really happy to be myself.
God bless you 🙏 keep counting your blessings and remember all the bad they did so it's easier to refocus your emotions on being happy your not in the relationship
Y’all are such victims. How is it years lost when you built great memories learned new lessons and hopefully grew as a person? Thank goodness for my perspective cuz the way y’all think can never be me
For the second time, I made it to 60 days. I had given him a second chance 7 months after he dumped me. A strong dismissive avoidant, 3 months after reconciling, I turned down his FWB offer while he awaits "the One I want to commit to." Those first weeks are for deconstructing your own ego. Let the pain come, lean in, and rise like the Phoenix. A good solid two months of grieving, and you're on your way. We are relationship addicts. Borderlines. Literally addicted to the hormones and neurotransmitters of attachment. That person is your crack rock. Treat it as recovery. No contact = cold turkey.
@@comparecards5688 Hermit mode. Started the spiritual path. Building my business. I think of him almost daily a couple times, but the core pain is gone. We have to choose ourselves. It really does get easier. I ran into him Dec 9th and he acted cordially but distant. I felt some residual rejection, but overall it helped me see that acceptance comes from ourselves. Thank you for checking in. 🖖🏾
@@comparecards5688 Do your best to lean into the process from a spiritual perspective. It's not about vengeance, it's about growth and outgrowing your ego. It allows us to heal our codependency. We only ever needed ourselves and full acceptance. They are just mirrors. Best to you. ❤️
He contacts me once in every two weeks after two months of strict no contact and I told him he needed to stop and he became rude and mad , and I had to hold my boundaries sternly explaining to him that he is not entitled to me or my time or entitled to think I have let go of all the pain he caused me with no remorse or anything . He thinks we are cool because I was cordial . The audacity blows me away
Trust me when I say that last week I was so sad and depressed over her breaking up with me but today I’m dancing to lil baby songs in my room and happy 😊 We have to realize that we all have options in life, a option to be happy or be sad. Understand that we as humans have the ability to transform our reality but we have to have the right mindset and understanding that everything has a beginning and a end. ❤ If it’s meant to be, it will happen.
BEST content on the internet! We have to DETACH By going no-contact. It creates emotional disconnect and helps you to see “the ex” clearly, instead of through rose colored glasses. If they discarded you, THAT IS how you are to remember them…as someone who was cruel and threw you away. It requires rewiring the brain though. The brain wants to fix a problem. So it keeps you strategizing “the how” to fix it but THE ONLY way to truly disconnect and detach is by going no contact.
I know it's been mentioned but be aware of narcissistic behaviours because you don't want that type of person back. Thats why the making yourself a priority after a breakup is so very important. You build yourself up and then you hold yourself in great regard and high value and anyone that intends to come back better be worth your attention otherwise they can keep walking💚
My ex came back to me few days ♥️ ago got help from Dr Wilson who was able to mend back my broken relationship and make my ex to come back, and also do a lot of work also like financial problem, and court case etc,,,,,,
Hi Coach Black! I just wanted to thank you for all of your help and advice. Your videos were incredibly helpful when my bf and I initially broke up. I did NC immediately after the break up and your videos helped get me through that difficult time. My bf and I recently got back together after 5 months of being separated. Things have never been better! Again thank you for all of your help!
Coach, thank you for your advise. 6 month long distant relationship. He decreased his communication, I called him out softly, vulnerable. Poor communication, empty promises. I’ve moved into no contact. Once I opened up- he made a big shift. I staying firm on mo contact/ but it really hurts. Love your videos. They are helping me stay strong.
I couldn't do no contact because of our baby, so I've only spoken about seeing her. I know deep down that she doesn't want me back at all, she's indifferent and that's how you know. And it's something I just don't know how to deal with, I simply wasn't desired by the woman I adored
Hard man, and you know, adoring someone is really not a good thing, it can kill attraction because the other one can have the feeling that she/he has nothing to offer and also that they cannot match the level of her/his adorer. Somehow, adoring someone is like putting her/him in a golden prison. If the one who is adored is a woman it is even more killing the attraction, because woman like to be the one to display love so much that they win us over our discipline and rules etc When we adore them, we somehow rob them from this feeling in which they find a deep satisfaction. They want to feel that what they do matter and produces the effect. For example, if we always say "you are beautiful" to a woman, it kills the thing. But if we say, "this dress is not okay for your skin tone, i do not like this shirt, this make up is too big but this one is really okay because it suits more your neck" than she feels that something is going on, she can produce something by choosing good. We can adore on a lot of thing and on each one, it will kill the bond, slowly and surely. You can adore her with your time, putting her first always, and it will kill something, that is what happen to me. Women want the man to put the limits and sometimes to break it for her but as an exception. They do not want so much attention so that they can win our attention with their beauty, their intelligence, their kindness, their thoughtfulness, etc. If you adore someone, there is most probably something insecure in you. Human cannot be adored, and in my view of life only God should adored. We need to progress on our insecurities, that is what i do. 2 months NC since breakup day mid july and 8 months separation since january, so 6 months before actual breakup. Scheduled to get married this may 2023.... I've gone through all the frustration, doubt, confusion, anger, fear, pain, bitterness, and now i am seeing the light our of this misery, working on my relationship with God, my insecurities (anxious preoccupied attachment style), fitness, health, business, projects, family, etc Be strong man, take responsibility and digest it in leveling up. When you meet again, is she comes back, your power will be fully recovered and in the best position to reattract her. If she does not come back, as hard as it will be, she was loving you enough. Being you is great so enjoy it and enjoy even more leveling up and beaming around you love, joy and peace✊🏾✊🏾✊🏾😁😁😁☀️☀️🥳🥳🥳
@@nino_94 I played a part in it ending, insecure, overthinking etc. There were other issues too but she gave me no closure so I was left clueless, I literally asked for closure but was just met with "I don't know why I feel this way". Thank you for your words
@@topg7778 when they do not know, it is that they lost attraction because they never got into the trust phase before going into the commitment phase. Attraction - Trust - Commitment. When attraction i set strong, then it is a matter of trust and when trust is solidified then it is commitment and then it is all good, like a house with solid foundations. There can be fake attraction, fake trust and fake commitment, fake ou fragile. That means we did not secure properly each phase. We want to enjoy the fruit before letting the roots go deep enough because we are hungry for something as insecure persons will be. It is what it is, but when we understand all of that then we need to act upon it and stop to mess our own life and those of others around us. Let's be strong and take responsibility, let's better ourselves and not make the same mistakes, and not new ones either. And if we do again, then let us go again in the painful process of understanding where did it come from, etc. At one point, errors will dimished, this is growth
I cannot recommend coach blac enough he is the only RU-vidr out there that if am stuck or need advice on a subject he has it all covered. And his techniques have gained me a lot of girls and even my long term ex partner. But I don’t feel like she’s for me, Trust him and his techniques I promise you that you will not go wrong you guys have this 💪.
My ex came back to me few days ♥️ ago got help from Dr Wilson who was able to mend back my broken relationship and make my ex to come back, and also do a lot of work also like financial problem, and court case etc,,,,,,
12 year relationship. Discarded me for the second time i have a child with her, in a routine with seeing my child where i don’t have to see her. She wants to stay in contact over the child but i don’t want to talk to her just focused on being a dad. If she don’t want to work at things with me i don’t want anything to do with her.
day 6 of no contact. every single day I cry and every single day you open my eyes, coach. the last few weeks we didn’t even get intimate anymore, it was very cold and weird. pretty sure she even did some things so I could take it as a reason to end it. after an argument I’ve ended it finally and started begging after a few days because I regretted it. she said no. now I’m in no contact.
@@HenrijsKalins wow those were bad days man. yeah the first few weeks I used to watch videos by him, coach lee and kenneth for hours every day. I felt like dying and even when going out, tears came into my eyes. The feelings have faded more and more I realize that I had suppressed my anger in the relationship so much. she was the absolute opposite of me and when I called her dumb during breakup, I actually meant it in some way. brainwashed and not on par with me at all. once I even wanted to punch her in the face. also, I have read a great book: „attached“. I have noticed that she needs therapy herself because she can‘t be alone and happy, which is actually my definition of happiness. I forced myself to meet women from tinder after the breakup, it felt disgusting but more and more that disgust faded away. she even posted pics a few days after the breakup being happy and at a restaurant we had visited, with the exact same meal on the exact same table, but with a different man. I am over her and now I know that she doesn‘t even care who she is with. she just needs someone by her side, and I dont
6 and a half year relationship. broke up two weeks ago. only contact was a goodbye letter me and her agreed to. since then been hard but been hittin gym and reading
It's been 50 days of no contact and I think I finally seen a sign. An unknown number text me asking how I'm doing. When I replied,who's this I never got an answer. Later that day I called the number and it said the number cannot be reached. I believe that was him. He put a text free app on his phone and uses that to contact me. I called the number over and over and it don't exist. I don't no anyone else who would do this
She never really loved you. Usually a girl who can move on that quick is because she either had no feelings or she had side pieces waiting on the sidelines for her to be single.
Hi if you don’t mind I would love your insight as someone that can relate to my ex. My ex and I dated for 3 years, but have known each other since childhood. He left me last week because of this exact reason as well. I loved him and cherished him and we were best friends that chose to spend 24/7 together besides work and gym. Ultimately I could not control my emotions when we would have arguments. He made mistakes too that really hurt me, but we truly loved each other and i would have never left him, and i would have stayed. I’m not saying he should have stayed, but im just wondering if down the line he would be capable of seeing that I am working towards positive changes that directly impact my past behavior. Since he left, he said that only in the far future MAYBE there will be a chance for us, but has expressed a lot of desire to remain best friends, and texts me first almost daily. Since he is already moving on and on dating apps, and meeting up with casual flings from his past I’m just afraid of having to grieve him again in the future if I make the mistake of pretending to be just his friend. Sorry this is so long, I just got a little emotional seeing another man expressing the same things he did.
I didn’t beg cry or plead when he broke up with me I just left. was on day 17 of no contact doing ok finally and he contacted me. I got mad we had a fight he said goodbye. I guess it’s over. I’m back to no contact day 2. I’m so disappointed that I responded in anger. I don’t think I’ll have another chance to get my power back. Don’t break no contact. Heal and put you focus on yourself. Any thoughts guys? I’m feeling pretty discouraged
Your on track survivor, GOD has blessed you with the split. GOD will take care of your hurt. Pray, say your name to GOD. YOUR POWER IS NO CONTACT. I know because I am at peace. Thanks to GOD.
6 years a baby, we broke up, got into a relationship super fast; was with her for a month, tried to come back but when I realized I deserved better & to fix things he would have to meet me halfway he ended up going back to her & she took him back. Super confused why he said he was using her to fill a void, that he’s only happy & chooses me if he was going to go back when he didn’t get his way?
Absolutely love coach great story examples👌he gives you the perfect perspective in story form ! Love the way he thinks. Coach explains everything on so many levels, from mental to spiritual including strategic
Usually, in the eyes of the one initiating the breakup, it might as well have been fake. History gets rewritten. Your time together, all of those precious memories, become a part of some weird alternate history. Brutal. Love is a drug. When the supply runs dry, the crash is harsh.
@@Millennialtomb Actually not really. As the dumpee, *I'm* starting to question whether it really was a real good one or not. The fact that my ex can just THROW ME AWAY after five months of calling/texting everyday and saying he cared. Wanting to BUILD a family with me, to nothing, not even working on the problems in the relationship just shows you how much the person cared (or didn"t!). The funny thing is, HE was the one who was saying to please try our best in the relationship as well as him saying that *I* could be the one to leave but he will NEVER leave. Crazy isn't it?!
@@Millennialtomb During one time when my class and the class of my ex had to get together to do scootering and I was asking one of my classmates if he wanted to go on, but he said no. My ex then said something to me and I asked her why she's caring about me even though she literally rejected me.
I only lasted about 12 days .called her we spoke for 3 hours and she told me she's still mad at me to give her space about 2 more weeks . Have decided to try and be strong and maintain no contact for at least 3 months
For three years straight even after my divorce..my ex GF call & ghost, call ,text & ghost then repeatedly…what should i do to move on & met other person?
@@blacademic When they disappear for months after you accepted each bid for connection, one has no other choice than really ignoring the next reach out, and demonstrate to them that there is no perpetual access granted. If it is not to lead to reconciliation or a meeting.
We are six months broken up for three of those months messaged her at least once a month now I am three months no contact and she has a boyfriend now it hurts like hell but I won’t give up
It’s been a year of NC and I have been ignoring her for the first few months when she will call or tex. Now I don’t hear anything from her. I guess this means she’s not coming back.
Who cares if she comes back or not. She (just like my ex) chose to END the relationship deliberately. Who wants to be with someone who has REJECTED you??! Have more self respect/self worth. Be with someone who actually WANTS to work with you on relationship problems and issues, NOT just someone who runs away if it's "too tough"! You want someone who is GROWN UP and is COMMITTED to being with you and loving you through thick and thin. Life ain't all roses and candy, they should know that!
Work on yourself! So when he reaches out he will find a better you and be like all crazy for you again! Cause you are shining again and feels good to be you. Be attractive again :)
Ignoring her ass right now. She reached out after two months of no contact just to be on b.s. after a short while...back in no contact with the intent on moving on. I'm not waiting. Would be good if she got herself together but I'm confident on doing best for myself. If she supposed to be mines she wil.
1 week of no contact and she reached out to me today asking how I was, described her day yesterday without me asking, even with videos. Then asked what I’ve been doing and described what she has been up this last few days. Still don’t know what to think of this reach out!
Coach, I saw somewhere, this statement, the person that controls the relationship, is the one lesser in love. Do you believe that’s true? I tend to agree with it.
Well not necessarily. The one who loves the least will always have the most leverage or control. But I don’t think it’s a healthy way to love. You can love fully and completely while still maintaining healthy boundaries. I think this is where people lose their power. Loving someone deeply is no excuse to accept constant mistreatment
5 years in a relationship and 6 months NC it is not easy for me at night when I am going to sleep but I am trying hope maybe it would work but if it do not work I will still be ok. Thank you so so much.
So katie and I broke up on the 4th of July been in no contact since the 14th of July when she unfriended me. She sent me a messege a month ago she said she's moved on and to leave her alone I know damn well it's the relief phase so I respected her decision. That being said checked my old Facebook she removed me from all the group we were in I don't know if she's doing that out of revenge or breadcrumming . Either way had an anxiety attack and I'm talking to another girl atm trying to connect with her we are platonic atm but we'll see how it goes. I still love Katie I always will but when will she actually stop hating me I mean I've improved myself Update: she added me on snap chat spammed me random images and I accidently broke contact
Nothing he gives no signs, he monkey branched into another relationship so I feel that this changes the dynamics of this subject. His emotional needs are being met . He moved out over 5 months ago.
My ex came back to me few days ♥️ ago got help from Dr Wilson who was able to mend back my broken relationship and make my ex to come back, and also do a lot of work also like financial problem, and court case etc,,,,,,....
We’ve been together for 5 years and he left me 28 days ago and promised he would always be in my life and said « maybe » when I asked bout getting back Together in the future but to not wait forever incase he doesn’t come back , 4 days no contact now but not established it just happened , I don’t want to ruin my chances of him coming back , he was god sent and my stupid traumas from past relationships helped me ruin this unintentionally with my fears, doubts and sadness I basically drained his happiness and life and I didn’t realize and I regret it with all my heart and soul .. god give me one last chance with him :’(
I broke the 18 month relationship up in response to being disrespected and have gone no contact. Surely it's not my job to reach out first? Sadly, it happened very suddenly so we never got to talk or even say goodbye.
will he ever connsider it even after i begged, pleaded and asked his friend to tak ecare of him and to tell him i lov him ...im doing NC now as i love him so much and i dont wanna keep invading his space
Were 5 years together. She lost weight and thinks she can do better, we broke up 5 weeks ago and i lost 7kgs in gym already. I will do NC untill i am happy with my body, or until she contacts me. So probably in one year or sooner if she contacts me.
it's the hardest thing im going thru since she's my wife we were married only 3 months after she left and that was november 2022 we were hot and cold between but lately it's bad so i decided to make a cut 😢 She still wears a ring but i don't know where this ends. she asked for divorce many times between but still didn't proceed so i hope on best outcome
Lol she's not coming back cause I broke every rule in the book and she blocked me on everything. I tried my best to go NC but when she posted videos of herself on her snapchat story out night clubbing I responded to saying dont you have any sympathy for my feelings, she replied im not out trying to pick up, I said I've heard that all before. So to retaliate I joined every dating app got talking to a few and exchanged numbers then I took snapshots of our conversations, Edited out their details and sent them to her with a big FU. Im not saying do this cause I felt pretty shit about it afterwards but I know she posted that stuff to get a reaction out of me and she got it. If she comes back I'll post it below
@@comparecards5688 No she hasn't come back or tried contacting me and I highly doubt she will but!! She didn't block me on everything for some weird reason. She read my last message to her on a chatting app that basically stated that I give up trying to salvage the relationship and im letting her go and wished her all the best. I didn't think she would ever see it and if she did I thought she would blocked me straight after so to be honest I dont know what her game is plus she still follows me on a fitness/activity tracking app so anything could happen I guess 🤷♂️
Eh, coach am real going through a lot about my ex. I want her badly buti dump her after I notice that she was cheating me,, so I let her go but seriously I real love her and want her back
My ex is saying he resents me for family stuff (which they did to me) we were together 7 years, haven't started no contact yet. He wants to live a new life, is there a chance that he'll ever get over resentment he feels?
My ex came back to me few days ♥️ ago got help from Dr Wilson who was able to mend back my broken relationship and make my ex to come back, and also do a lot of work also like financial problem, and court case etc,,,,,,..
7mths today since our break up.. yes I’ve seen him a few times and the last time was 2 weeks ago.. I wished I never did.. now I’m back in NC with him.. AND if and when he does reach out I’m going to totally ignore him.
Hi, mine is almost 5 months :(. I have seen you here for quite a while. Last time, I saw you mentioned he contacted you. I was happy for you. But now what happened after the meetup? Seeing him a few times doesn't help? Does he still not want to reconnect? I am also in a similar situation. He reached out after 2 months of NC just to check on me and texted casually for 1 more month, but later he wasn't eager to accept my invitation to meet up. I am also back in NC again now. ;(
Hell coach after 4 months he react 2 times to my story and send love emoji no raction after one week he send message hello babe how are you still no answer i am expect a meaningful message
