Can you relate to having low self-worth? Share your experiences below, and remember to download the guide for questions and tips that will help you increase your self-awareness around self-worth and boost it: www.terricole.com/how-to-build-self-worth-guide
Hello 👋 how are you doing today? I hope & pray 2024 brings happiness, peace and love all over the world 🌎 I’m originally from Canada grow up in Fort Worth Texas, currently living in Key West Florida. Where are you from if i may ask?
"Even though the adults in your life who raised you had/have limitations and their own stuff, that doesn't make you unlovable or unworthy." This is of great value to me!
My father died an alcoholic and he was embarrassing so the entire surrounding knew us and that affected my confidence in India. I have moved to Australia and it still haunts me like everyone knows my background and to some degree people can see my low self worth. At 40 im still learning to take compliments when people compliment me when im at a party. Thanks Terry. Im a work in progress ❤
My father is still alive but he's an alcoholic and I resonate with what you said. My mother is a covert narc so that didn't help either. I've never been to India but I am assuming that the shaming culture is somewhat similar to that of Pakistan. In my case, my mother only gave me attention when she was competing with me or shaming me. My father only gave me attention when he was verbally or physically abusing me. I'm in USA now and have become a therapist myself. It took me about 15 years of working on myself to accept compliments and not see them as a manipulative tactic or a backhanded compliment. I am glad you're in another country now and watching this content. I send you love and wish you the best.
Now at 46 I've been working on self work, but I still live close to my parents and each time there is a gathering, the relationship with my mother is challenging. Never enough, never good, never a positive comment... it still gets to me.. Thank you Terri for all your wonderful work❤
For so long I struggled with self-worth because my parents seemed to favor my older sister---she has the house, the kid, the dog, the career, the high salary. She is always the focus of their conversations, of their lives, really. I had cancer and it changed (and took away) all of those things in my life, so I began to feel completely unworthy. Still rebuilding my life and working on it every day. Luckily therapy has taught me that I am worthy of joy and happiness despite not having the life/stuff/body/status I used to have. As I said in a previous video, I am finally allowing myself to feel happiness and joy about getting married and building a life with another person who has mirrored back to me that I am worthy just the way I am.🥰
People like you help tremendously because one does not always has the courage to go to therapy and actually talk things over. Self-worth can be difficult to heal but it's not impossible. Thank you so much for the content
I'm currently binge-watching videos about low self-worth, its affects on us, and overcoming low self-esteem. I could tell my story later, but it's too long to write on my phone. Basically, I was always the one in trouble and struggling in school and a lot of it wasnt intentional, but my sister was the straight-A student who was always praised. It didnt help that my sister seemed to easily make friends where I wanted friends but wasn't really able to make friends easily.
I just found you. I love the way you explain concepts. You speak deeply, in a place I can understand and grow. You make me smile. I down talk myself due size. I can do this. I am doing the rubber band for the next 24 hours. Gift my own attention ❤. Thank you soooo much❤❤.
Terri, I struggled to finally watch and listen to this youtube video. I struggled with low self for many years. It is still a problem but getting better. I used my codepedency to try to get approval, love, acceptance and care, that I could not give to myself. THIS NEVER WORKED and I felt even worse about my self worth after my relationship ended. My Mom was bossy, critical, not very nurturing, cold, hurtful with a lot of her words. I never heard I am good enough, I am pretty, I can do it, etc. Many years of therapy, CODA meetings and now your classes, podcasts, books, etc, have changed my life and self worth. I do have self worth. I love me and am worthy. Thank you for all your amazing advice, caring and generous uplifting words!
Hi I’m neha aggarwal. I have been facing issues regarding my boundaries. Just bought your workbook and started reading it. It already feels I could relate to every word you have written. Thank you so much for all the sharing. Having people like you bestowing knowledge upon us gives us an inspiration to be better each and every day.
Thank you for this content & for giving us some exercises to try as we go through our self-worth healing journey! I’m feeling more hopeful and I’m excited to try these exercises out starting today!! Again, thank you so much 💖✨
I found you from your Les Carter interview, which I loved, and I’m so happy! I have been following Dr C since 2018 and he has given me the skills to distance myself from a 43 year marriage to a narcissist. I’ve been searching for help thriving, beyond surviving. Your comment about women in their 60s and 70s, who’ve “built their lives on boxes constructed by someone else” made me cry. You have set me on the path to thrive, and I’ve shared your channel with many friends my age who are also struggling but seem to “have it all”. Thank you for seeing us.
I am witnessing you with so much compassion and so glad this video made you feel seen 💕 Thank you for coming on over to my channel after seeing that interview, too!
Terri, my thank you for you comes from a place deeper than I know. I needed this reminder. I suffer from intense self-loathing at times rooting from an idea that I’m not good enough. I also came from a very orthodox religion that put too much pressure and emphasis on achieving things to be “worthy” of the “blessings.” I am grateful to have seen your video and to be reminded that I am inherently good enough in this very moment and I agree it is an “inside work” it is an internal thing. I’m excited to read your books and know more of your profound work. New subscriber here! Thank you once again ❤
These are great questions to ponder Terri. It feels like a struggle at times to find my own worth without having had relationships that reflected that. I really appreciate this topic and I did have more inherent worth and took more worthwhile risks in many ways than from whence I came. Happy New Year Terri and Godspeed 🎉❤🥂 I so appreciate your work. Setting healthy boundaries was definitely a good starting point and you really helped me in that area, among others. Grateful 🥰❤🌈
It is hard when you don't have an example of healthy love. I see you. Just know your internal self knows and listen to her. You will never regret that.
Both of my parents ruined myself worth they were both narcissists. But fortunately my grandparents were really great people And I had the opportunity to work with some of the best people there are. These people helped me a great deal. I am much better than I could have been because of these people
I keep coming back. Im fairly new to your awesome posts/videos. It seems you are speaking to me directly. I have my own business and charge under penny's for my services to people that make 3 times the money I do... I just have to feel better about myself before I can change my prices! I am such a co dependent. I just appreciate to tune into someones videos and it feels like they are speaking to me. I feel that everytime you speak! I have so many life experiences that have (according to what I've learned) destroyed my self esteem, confidence... Im 54 yo and I HAVE to figure it out soon. So, thank you!
You are so welcome, and I am glad you found your way here ❤️ If you haven't yet, I recommend this video about building self-confidence that may help: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-kLS-NdgTwu0.html
Dealing with my ex-narcercist partner at work and every Monday morning just chipping me down and smiling with every notch with getting other at work on board with his agenda. I'm going to use the rubber band effect to stand up for myself. I hold back saying things in response because I'm shocked how awful his comments can be. No more feeling powerless. I even after a horrible conversation bought up his hurtful comments, me tears about it and then flight. I can't fight... He is too good with words. MY BAND IS MY NEW SUPER POWER ❤❤❤Wish me luck 🤞
It’s so funny that you started this episode talking about your diminishing your accomplishments when I did that today. I got massage therapist of the year today and couldn’t accept it the way I should have.
Wow, can i just say that you are BEAUTIFUL. Anyway, i'll watch this video now. Just wanted to say that i love your energy before even watching the video.
My parents were never neglectful or immature and yet my self-worth is almost nonexistent. I'm struggling to understand why this is the case since most of the adults in my childhood were always supportive.
My parents are toxic and don’t understand that life is about making mistakes. Seeking their approval is exhausting. My father wasn’t around and tries to punish me for making a mistake. My mother has flat out called me stupid after something traumatic happened to me in high school. She has also said “I don’t care that you have these problems.” I have no support system aside from me. I have to rely on me. I hate men. Relying on people is out for me. I’m done relying on family. I’d rather be homeless before I rely on them again. I’m in school getting 2 degrees. I’m not done. I’m gonna need a break and to find some money for a PhD. Maybe go to law school once I’m done. I’m doing all of this to stay away from my toxic family and protect my inner child/teenager. Nothing is wrong with me. It’s my toxic parents who were a$$holes and immature who most certainly didn’t deserve me and my brother. As you can imagine, all this is what made me choose an abusive partner, but he died 9 years ago. I’ve learned a whole lot and I’m staying away from people.
Looks like self love ( whoever this “self” is?) is all about practicing some acts even though I don’t feel any love for this self. I can talk kindly and take care of myself, I have no feelings for it🥺 I don’t even feel my identity
I am witnessing you with so much compassion ❤️ Part of the process is getting to know yourself, too. Many people in my crew have been self-abandoning for years because they were raised and praised to do that- to be in service of others, and put themselves last. It can feel strange to put yourself first and not even know how to do that when you've been doing the opposite for most of your life! I recommend paying attention to what you like or dislike, what feels good and what doesn't, what fills up your cup and what drains you. ❤️
I had emotionally immature parents, my mum abandoned me ...I was then bullied at school...it wasn't just about my parents other kids and even adults in society targeted because of my skin colour, the way I looked my hair ...I had double jeopardy
But you’re not….others can exclude, dismiss, or toss, but carry yourself in a precious vessel….hold yourself there…and it’s okay to call others out when they say or do things that make you feel invisible or invalidated. Your voice matters. You matter.
im sorry but i have to ask this for my peace of mind. would you say the same thing to a murderer or a rapist? are they still worthy despite their actions and minds? thank you for this video btw
Hi Ella- I am specifically speaking to the viewers of this channel (like you!), and the folks in my crew tend to be loving, kind, beautiful, thoughtful, and intelligent. ❤️
Would you happen to know of a good resource of this for men? I appreciate the video but im having trouble connecting. As far as I can tell, men aren't ok as they are and are treated as such. With no way to get a quick fix by posting a selfie I find it extremely difficult to be ok with being run of the mill average.
I'm not sure if they cover this specifically, but my pals Dr. John Delony and Connor Beaton might be good resources to check out. Connor is more of a men's coach. Tom Bilyeu might be good, too- he's he host of a popular podcast called Impact Theory. I also suggest exploring what you mean by "I find it extremely difficult to be ok with being run of the mill average." Who says you're average? Why do you believe you're average? What would it look like if you were okay with it? What would it look like if you were "more" than average? What would it take for you to get there? Maybe journaling about it will help. As a therapist, my clients were predominantly women so that's who I tend to speak to and attract, but I do believe men are worthy of this, too. Just want to clarify, I would not suggest anyone post a selfie as a way to build self-worth. We don't want to look outside for this- it has to come from within us. If I could distill it down to one thing, it's mostly about choosing yourself. You have to believe that what you want, how you feel, and what you think matters more to you than what anyone else wants, thinks, or feels. (That doesn't mean we don't compromise, but when we do, it comes from a place of love rather than fear or people-pleasing.) Make choices that align with your preferences. Advocate for yourself. Do things for yourself and follow through on your commitments. All of these things build self-trust which also builds self-worth. ❤️
I know what happened. Growing up my body was a little larger than others. I'm taller and stronger as a female and my family was bothered by this. They felt I was lazy and dumb for not being slim, when my body is naturally strong. My family never told me I was beautiful or pretty because I was overweight. My family put me on jenny Craig as a teenager because I was overweight. I struggled my whole life, being told I was lazy, and dumb. Obviously I didn't ever exercise although I did! I was super active. Finally I figured out that grains were the problem and now I don't recognize my own body or face. I have changed so much, and I just don't know who I am. I was always the overweight one who didn't count for anything. How sad. I need to get help. Thank you for helping me! ❤️🌴🙏💎🍳🪮
What do you do when you're 61, your mother is 90 and I just can't cope with seeing her anymore. i have 2 brothers, have fallen out with sister in law. My Dad passed away 8 years ago, he was a controlling bully. Mum is a good person, if I don't see her I will feel terribly guilty but when I do see her, I always leave feeling completely drained. I really feel that kids should go their own way when they're young and not be expected to see parents all the time. I never had kids, never wanted them. Always said that I would never bring a child in to this cruel world.
Hey there- is it possible to lessen your contact with your mother? Maybe stick to phone calls more than going over there? Or are there boundaries you can set to make your interactions with her less draining? I think you have a right to do what is best for you, but since you said your mom is a good person, it might be worthwhile to look for a middle ground where you can see her AND not be drained. ❤️
Sending 🫂 ❤. Do you regret not having children? I'm 35 and struggling with this decision. I feel the same. This world continues to get worse and worse every day and it's hard to even cope as an adult sometimes.
I am 57 and went no-contact with my mom, who was 80 last year. I'm not saying you should do that; I just want to tell you that it's possible to make changes no matter your age or your mom's. For me, it became clear that I needed some space, and when I told my mom about this (in the most caring way while having a lot of mental issues), she reacted so angry and unsupportive that it became clear to me how controlling she was in my life. And I hope she'll live to be a hundred, but that would mean I would be 77 by the time she died. So, I decided I had to choose my own path. The fact that you will feel guilty for doing something for yourself is not okay. Your mom may be good, but it sounds like she is leaning a bit too much on you. Maybe your siblings can take over for a while? That's not unreasonable.
@@jan854 I never had children. I never regretted it because I always knew I couldn't handle the responsibility. I am overly responsible due to my childhood trauma, and being a mom would have killed me. Perhaps this world is getting worse every day, but the most important thing is to be sure you can guide your children and be a good mom. That's the issue. And if you are not confident about that, I would encourage you to be a wonderful auntie or neighborhood'mom' but not an actual mom. Maybe you will regret it, but in this case, it's better to have some regret yourself than your children have regret because you were not a very capable mom.
I had a mother that was dangerous to me. Everyone else was safe, partly because I became their protector, but mostly because they were easier to manipulate that I was. So my life was in danger daily. I never felt safe until she passed in 2023. Sixty years of fear, and inability to say no to narcissistic/sociopath/psychopathic people. Relationships and siblings.
Dear Terri, thank you so much for all of your content that you so generously put out there ! I just wanted to tell you how great it feels to just listen to you when I'm feeling sad or angry or just reapeatedly reminded of the way things are. Listening to you with all yout compassion and wilingness to help just brings me back to a state of peace and being in the present as a whole person. Thank you so much ❤ Wishing you lots of love happiness always !
Thank you Terry for this great talk. I am that person who always struggle about my self-worth and I have a feeling that I pass that that to my boys when I see them acting like that sometimes. Thank you for making my morning to start in a beautiful way and I pray for all the other ladies, who are going through this same struggle in their life to be useful by watching this video as I did. Namaste.
I’m not even 1/2 way thru this video & I gotta pause it to say thank you!! Thank for for giving real actual helpful advice & steps for me to actually take. Thank you for giving away this information & not just sharing trauma symptoms while just pushing to sell a course. Thank you for being the only person years after years of searching to actually give me practical advice and real steps to take. Thank you for sharing solutions & not negative trauma symptoms. Thank you for sharing truly helpful information!! Thank you thank you thank you!!
This was so helpful. I’ve been on this journey many years of self worth building and boundaries, and I really appreciate your insight and wisdom. All of your videos have been just what I’ve needed. Thank you!
I’ve been struggling with self worth lately and other things like I’m not worthy to be loved by anyone and that I don’t deserve things. Thanks for what you do
I can totally understand your friend that thought they were being told they are attractive as a joke. That’s exactly how I am. I feel so disgusting inside that I think not a sole on the planet would look at me with anything other than disgust.
My father on numerous occasions told me how much I embarrassed him when I was younger l, and I absolutely did nothing. I was a nice little girl and did not get in trouble at school. I suffered from eczema and asthma as a child. I still hear his words and he died over 25 years ago. I’m in my late 60’s. My husband use to make fun of my nose. It is such a fight to feel good about myself.
You are such a blessing from top to toe and inside and out. I have eczema and bad teeth and I can relate to your struggles. Please magnify your attention to acceptance, approval and love of all of your goodness because that's what's important and really counts towards your own peace of mind and happiness ❤
