How To Convince Someone With Dementia They Need Help 

As my dear mother in law progressed in her dementia, one day she told me she was afraid, that she didn’t know where she was. This was very unlike her. I thought about it for a moment and replied, “it’s okay mom, you are safe with us and we’re going to take care of you. “. Because we had a long term relationship, she always recognized family members. It was enough.

One thing caregivers need to understand is that they are NOT deceiving their loved ones using these techniques. Ultimately, the goal is to do what is in their loved one’s best interest. Their lack of understanding is part of the disease. I really appreciate your videos!

This is Douglas just to add to the last posting I given here I think it's important that my wife Jessica was only 52 years old and she was at least 48 when I noticed signs of dementia but all of your videos that you did all of the information you handed out was my lifeline to me be my wife's only caregiver because she was denied every service is available to her so I was on my own and you were my lifeline thank you for all your videos and get really save me to help take care of my wife thank you

You are so spot on! My wife, PhD, has not been a corporate leader for over 7+ years. She believes she is 100% capable. Yet, She can not remember where the coffee cups are in a house that we have lived in for 20+ years, that we use every day. .....(Now that you understand my world). I find that, I end up negotiating things for future discussions. For example. Go to bed here tonight, and tomorrow we can discuss... going home. You know if you do "X" for me it will make my life better. Lastly, my wife will remember that she has been arguing / debating with someone for hours... but NOT remember what the discussion was about or with whom, with in 5 min of the discussion. (We live alone). To your point, logical discussion is over ruled by her feelings.

As a former care provider, this is the most valuable video I have ever seen!! Everyone caring for a dementia person needs to understand and follow your advice!!

I really needed this video. Dad is in process if getting diagnosed. I have tried for ten years but my parents covered for each other and he refused to go to the doctor. Mom passed and now dad is a lot worse still months later. MRI shows problems but neurologist follow up appt isn't until a few weeks. Dad thinks he can drive and doesn't need any help. I am watching your videos and soaking up all the info I can. You are truly an angel on Earth with helping all of us care for our loved ones. Thank you.

So good! It took me so long and so much frustration to learn how to do this. I felt I had finally overcome arguing and convincing (and for the most part had) and then last week I had a big ol argument over clipping toenails. (sigh). Part of the issue with us caregivers is that we want our loved one to be more themselves and to be logical in these things that seem to be no-brainers. What helps me at each new stage is to take some time to actually mourn incrementally the losses and then see clearly the path forward. This really helps me shift my thinking and be a better caretaker for her.

My mother is in a nursing home. She is convinced that she doesn't need to be there & she will be able to come home & do chores & cook meals & never hallucinate & fall. The nursing home's doctor told her it is up to me when/if she can come home. So now my mom thinks that I don't love her & don't want her around. I know why I want to convince her she needs help. So she knows how loved & precious she is to me & does not have the stress of constantly tryingto convince me she's fune. I get that part. I just don't know what steps to take next.

8 years in with my LO and they still are convinced they are completely fine. It’s beyond frustrating. Yes, I know it’s the disease, but it’s still frustrating.

Learning about anosognosia from you was one of the most enlightening moments in understanding the behavior of my mother with dementia.

Thank you. I have been doing the wrong way...showing evidence, step by step asking my loved one to think if something makes sense. Now, its a big discovery that it doesn't work at all!!!! Thank you so much for the enlightenment

How I wish you could help me right now! My mom has all of the signs of at least stage four vascular dementia. And I am disabled with reflex sympathetic dystrophy. I’ve told her doctor over and over again. He is also my doctor, but he can’t tell me anything. We a leaving a a few hours for a long car trip across two states. I have my permit back, but she won’t let me drive! Last week she ran the busiest red light in town twice. There was five car horns going off at us. Last year around Christmas we almost got T boned because she doesn’t pay attention when driving! She’s lost four of her upper front teeth. Because she stopped brushing her teeth. She did the same thing as you talk about in this video she accused me of replacing the lights in the bathroom last year. She’s got physical with me and I’ve taken pictures of it. But she won’t face it at all. Her doctor has ordered her to get an MRI and she won’t do it. Nothing I say works!!! If anyone reads this it’s October 12th and tomorrow is the 13th. If a person of faith and prayer. Please pray for us as we travel through WI today and tomorrow MN. She’s paranoid, has sudden mood swings, is very impulsive, and when she’s not all she does is sleep. I have done all I can do because the state of Wisconsin can’t help me till she’s diagnosed. And she won’t get the test done to get diagnosed and it’s bad. It’s so so bad. She’s hasn’t cooked since thanksgiving if 2021. I’ve lived off snack food, junk food and fast food so much my stomach is a mess. I had to finally stop eating at times. Because the stress and my own pain issues. I am sick all the time because I’m in my last stage of my own illness. I have God and I know he’s on my side. But being in this all alone is so tough. I had a girlfriend of nine years keep saying will figure it out. I begged her last year to move up here and help me. She freaked out and didn’t know what to do. I knew then it was over. When I ended it in June, she’d later write back out of hurt and anger I was right she never was brave enough to move. Does anyone know how tough it is to be with a mom that was emotionally and physically abusive till I got too big to hit. Then watch her control my dad for so many years. How she had to have the dishes and the house set up. Now it’s a little house in the north woods she won’t let anyone else enter because of the mess it is inside. I am awful for saying this but I can’t wait for her to get found out because I’ve tried for two years. Nothing has happened but she’s gotten so much worse. God bless anyone that read this I power dumped a lot. I’m scared and I’m alone and it’s really tough to be in this battle all alone. I have faith and trust that the Lord will be done.

For example: My mother believes the cemetery workers moved her mother’s and father’s graves. For four years we pass the cemetery every day on our rides, and for FOUR YEARS!!!! I have been struggling to get her to understand! I’ve shown her pictures that obviously show her parents are where they’ve always been. I’ve had the cemetery staff meet with her and explain the legal ramifications of such a move. OMG! Tomorrow, we are just going to start taking a route that doesn’t go by the cemetery. Jeez! I should really take an IQ test.

Thank you! This has been such a challenge because things change moment to moment and sometimes I feel guilty when I choose not to be honest in order to solve problems

Hi my name is Douglas my wife is Jessica I'd love to view comments throughout the last couple years on some of your things but you've had the best videos my wife she's passed away from dementia but I couldn't have done it as your caregiver without watching your videos I've been on board for probably four years now I think she had a rapid decline here at the end but because it's just been me and my wife we've had no help because I don't protect the services traumatize your victimize your neglected her with her sisters who cannot take care of her so thank you thank you for all your videos excellent stuff on everything thank you I don't know where to post this or how to get a direct email this is like the newest video I've seen so I'm not very tech savvy but thank you thank you thank you for all that you done because it helped me beyond anything else, thank you Douglas

Goal cantered vs problem centered 🙃 thank you !

Thank you so much, I was doing this all wrong. I kept thinking, if I just explain this very slowly and carefully, the logic, they'll finally get it, but now I see they don't get it and can't get it, and I have to focus on what am I trying to accomplish, what is the goal. And just get that done. They may not need to understand, because they probably are incapable of understanding. Thank you.

Your channel was extremely helpful! My mom has passed away. She died from “Terminal Restlessness” which was never titled or addressed and created serious problems with hospice and I in the end stages. It was very traumatic for both of us…primarily my mom. I was told to sedate her and she would sleep for 24 hours…get dehydrated, and Season’s Day care would get upset with me not bringing her in on a “regular” schedule! They had NO u derstanding if her situation.😓🙁. Perhaps you could address “terminal Restlessness” at some point because …even the ALZ help line did not address it. I learned about it 3 months after she passed and all our trauma/drama. 😵‍💫🙁

Great video, "They will never understand their limitations". It's more important we are aware of our loved ones condition, we can take necessary measures to keep them safe. Great advice, lost Dad to Alzheimer's and it looks like mum has a dementia. I thought it was denial, but after watching this, I'm understanding what's happening.

You have no idea how helpful this was. I can be more creative without feeling I’m living or cheating on my wife, thank you

I recently purchased a digital clock for my LO. I just said” I came across this while thrift store shopping with my daughter” “ I thought it was pretty cool, tells you month , day, date, time and whether it’s morning afternoon or evening” She’s thinking, I wait patiently. “ I thought maybe we could just put it here I on top of the fridge.” She said oh I don’t really need that. I have my calendar here. I didn’t say anything, we proceeded to have a muffin and coffee. About 30-45 later. Oh did you get me this nice picture?! Looks it tells me everything I need to know! Isn’t that nice. She proceeded to call me and ask me everyday if I had bought it for her. She Loves it!

Just as my husband was moving our wardrobe in the middle of the night, so I asked him what was he doing this for. He told me the refrigerator was in the way and he needed to go to the bsthroom. I said well we do have 3 so come with me and used another one, so I took his hand and led him out of the master bath to our guest one and he said now why didn't I think of that! I told him maybe he was so tired. He accepted that.

This is great! And this ‘method’ can be used way beyond your family member with dementia. Thank You!!

This makes sense! Lightbulbs just went on! What about them having access to computers and social media? It’s one of my mother’s major sources of interaction. I keep an eye on her private messages but there have been people who are trying to scam her. I think the whole thing is difficult because it’s a parent and you feel like you’re treating them like a child. It’s frustrating but also so, so sad because they used to be so smart and active.

So good. For a long time I thought that by helping my husband to stay part of decision making will prolong progression of dementia. It really does take a toll.

Thank you dr. Natalie . I’ve been watching your videos for the past two years when my husband got diagnosed with Louis body dementia Parkinson’s. I I’m trying to understand for when he gets worst he is ok now with a few things that he sees but he still understand what’s going on .😔🙏🏼

I learned after awhile arguing doesn’t help. It was hard to do, and in the beginning it felt like I was just letting her go. I tried so hard to keep her in the real world but it didn’t work. You can’t. And once I learned this fact our relationship got easier. You’re so right. They can no longer be in our world, and we have to enter theirs. Instead of saying no, that’s not your son in the restaurant, I’d just say, he’s very handsome and go along with it. Etc.

This is genius. My sister is becoming demented and we are having exactly this problem.

This is your best composed video I have seen yet. The repeated emphasis on the main point the pragmatic steps to solution, concise yet repetitive for emphasis. bravo Natalie, you are ready to lead a Master class. Similar to Cesar Milan, the goal is to teach the caregiver how to approach the pet/ patient. It's the caregivers mindset/ perspective that needs the adjustment.

I'm so burned out that it is really hard to get creative now. I'm a retired nurse and my aunt needs to go to a long term care facility for 24 hour care. She sustained 3rd degree burns. She has been alcoholic most of her life. I termed it as finding her a new apartment to go to. She does not remember her actual house at all. Of course the deed and finances need to be put in for medicaid. She had me as POA but the revoked. So, we have to wait for court to appoint guardian/conservator. She is still at the hospital that is an hour and half away. Now her general disposition is coming out of " I can do my own affairs" and " I don't agree with these things" also asking me how much have I got accomplished, and what am I doing. I'm thinking her real mean side is getting ready to explode. I am sick from this. She isn't the only one in my family really. I think I'm having a breakdown and I can't make the system go fast enough and it's so damned complicated.

This was like a light bulb going off! Thank you so much. Subscribed! Can you do a video on what to do about pets with dementia parents? I don't want to rip the pets away, and try to rehome them, very traumatic for both parent and pets - but she can no longer adequately care for them. I'm not close enough to go in every day and feed the dog, let the dog out, feed the cats, check that they're all ok. Thank you!

What I'm getting from you is to try to make them feel helpful and needed. Great ideas.

Just starting my journey. About 7 months in and this is the first video that actually gave me some hope that I can help my loved one without the fighting. And being a detective sounds so much more exciting, then just reacting. Thank you so much.

Your videos have been helping me. I was so confused living with my exes old widowed dad it didn’t seem Like he really had dementia but now it all makes sense & it’s progressing. Nobody talks about how to handle this ! Ty !

I think you need your person to understand and accept for you. At least that's how it is in my case. All the talking and reasoning in the world can't make my mother understand that this is her home, so now I just tell her it's my home and she seems fine with that most days unless she's having a day where she doesn't remember I am her daughter. It's very tough. I sure do appreciate these videos as well as hearing about other people's problems and how they are dealing with them!

Thank you so much. Like an Angel you have appeared on my youtube feed in our time of need. We are facing all the things you have outlined and will try to implement them with our mother. Thanks again ❤

Mannnn u just helped me so much and it just clicked… I’ve been watching so many videos.. and I see these stories and blogs where families get together.. and they figure it all out.. that’s the best case scenario… Well my dad dosent realize what’s going on… and it’s not some Brady bunch story…. But what am I trying to do by trying to get my dad he is having problems?!? I just have to weather thru this storm.. he dosent need to understand and admit that he is having problems… he is having problems… period.. But I have so many family members that are not here.. so they think I’m making thing up, so it makes me seem like a liar… but oh well… I know what’s going on… I love my dad so much and I’m going to weather this storm because I love him to the world and back and I don’t need anyone else, that’s not here to understand.. and I don’t need to prove it.. I don’t need anyones elses aproval.. When my dad denies his hallucinations, and his delusions… my family members that know nothing about dementia, ask him if he is hallucinations, and he denies it, it’s ok… I don’t need him to confirm it.. maybe he doesn’t know, or maybe he dosent just dosent understand… But I love my dad and I know what’s going on… I used to try to get him to admit it.. but oh well, he dosent have too… I’m here for him and I have his back… It just clicked that I don’t have to get him or anyone else to understand.. My dad told me he sees giants walking down the street and he talks to our dead aunt,,, I was so spooked and scared, I told my brother….. my brother asked and my dad told him he dosent know what I’m talking about… So I’ve been trying to get my dad to admit it and I’ve been trying to prove it… I have to let it go! I know what’s going on and nobody else is here and I know everything else that’s been going on… I just need to be here for my dad! This whole situation is so scary,,, on top of it all, I’m a single dad trying to raise a toddler by myself and help my dad… But there is no point in trying to prove it and get my dad to admit what’s going on

I have listened to many of your videos for a few years now but this is definitely the most helpful one for me. Thank you so much!

OMG, this is soooo helpful. Just like all your videos, but I really needed to hear this today. Thank you so very much for your generosity in sharing your knowledge with us.

Thankyou so much for this straight forward information. My dear mother is 99 years old tomorrow, still in her own home and she has dementia. As she lives over 500km away and because of Covid and a very ill husband I haven't seen her for 3years. I have 3 brothers and a sister who live closer and have been looking after her. I phone her frequently, but lately she doesn't seem to know who I am. I am going up to see her tomorrow and will try this information with her, I feel so much more relief having this knowledge I am sure it will make conversation easier. I am in my late seventies as are my brothers and sister. But its never too late to learn new methods. again I thank you and appreciate your words of wisdom. I am in Australia.

4:33 This is great advice for anyone assisting a loved one with dementia! It can be hard for a legal guardian to practically help their family member even after gaining legal authority. Creative thinking and redirection is key!

Honestly, o feel like this is awesome advice for both dealing with my strong headed spirited 5 year old as well as my 68yr old father in law with the dementia issues

I have found ALL of your videos extremely helpful and comforting to know I have a resource and that I am not alone But this one was perhaps the most helpful videos , for my current situation, I’ve watched so far. Thank you!!!

I went through this with my wife’s mom ten years ago. And I was by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do. This is the most profound thing I have ever heard. 🙏RESPECT🙏 One thing I found effective was to ask her to write a note about some things when she was agreeable on a topic. And leave it where she would find the not to her self. You are amazing Getting ready to help a friend hospice his wife. ❤❤❤

The one constant in my fathers Dementia is that he feels unsafe, I try to tell him he is safe. I found that even if it takes a while it seems to be the thing that he wants to know

Oh my goodness! I can solve for this! I will solve for this! Thank you Dr. Natali

Best video ever, this is exactly what it’s like

The path of least resistance, is the most effective route .

Thank you so much, I had no clue this was what was happening with my Mum. ❤

You described my aunt perfectly. Any suggestions on how to get her to memory care? There is finally an opening and I need to get her there ASAP. Not safe in her own home and starting to wander. Recently diagnosed but known for years. Please help!

Wow. I had a friend send me the link for this video and I really needed to see this! ❤

This was the balm for my overwhelmed and worried mind. And, a Big "Ah-Ha!" moment! Thank you for all you are doing ❤

I’ve basically come to the conclusion my dad doesn’t understand his cognitive limitations, but didn’t know there was a term for it. Thank you for the strategy on how to manage it.

Lying to a loved seemed so wrong to my wife and me. With my mother-in -law, we realized that it was morally ok to fabricate reasons (lie) to get her to go back into the home, etc. this was a huge stress for us at first, but trying to reason and explain did nothing to help the situation.

ok... this is really good. My sister and I have been doing it all wrong and getting ourselves so frustrated. TY!!!

Thank you for this. I am not experienced in caring but I am living with and helping my grandmother and we've had so many circular arguments that leave us both feeling frustrated. I wish someone had asked me before "Why is it important she understands." This is not easy, but I will keep trying to improve.

Fantastic! This can ease so much resistance and bad feelings. Thank you so much!

It is Sunday evening. I have been cleaning my Aunts bedroom. I told her she would not be able to get in her room for a while since the carpet needed to be steam cleaned and needed to dry. She then kept trying to go in or find reason to go in. like needing her shoes so we could go to church. We never go on Sunday evening. However she was convinced we were going. I finally had to get her shoes so she would stop trying to go into her bedroom.

Hi there. I start tomorrow taking care my first person with the condition I go back on you videos… I will stay with her nites, she have another 2 persons… but I’m excited for the journey

I wish I had this info when someone in my family had the same diagnosis!

I understand all you just said and I have been practicing it with my mom already but nothing I say or do will get her to take a bath. I have tried a lot of creative ways and NOTHING works. I am at the point of asking her nicely one more time and if she says she will take one tomorrow, I'm going to let her see me bang my head against the wall.

ask for help. "Would you help me get some of this stuff in the house? I can't do it." there are many people with dementia who will respond to a request for help, will stop fighting, are brought to the present moment. Once heard it called "Alzheimer's Altruism". I just found your channel, things have gotten to point of Dangerous to live alone. Have been trying to live alone for 4 years, learning to ask for help. Appreciate your teaching, you are wonderful.

I had to lock up everything cause my dad won't stop going through everything over and over looking for food in my home where he lives but it just makes him crazy not being able to. Watching the camera of him walking back and forth looking in everything is sad.

An excellent video, some very good advice and will come in handy for future use. We haven’t had a diagnosis yet, appt is Nov 2023!!!! Very busy hospital

My mother in law constantly says we are stealing her money. Even though she writes them out with my help and gets all her bank statements. But everyday we get told she don’t get mail she don’t see her bank statements. Ugh I don’t know what to do.

Wow thank you so much for this teaching.🌺

My sister, age 87, with moderate to severe dementia, is obsessed with a boyfriend, also age 87. He tries to manipulate and control her. He was aggressively against moving her close to her only daughter (5 houses away) who takes impeccable care of her); he tried to talk her out of going to her neurology testing appointments at UCLA, because then “There would be a Record, and They will use it to put you away.” He insists she’s “Just a little forgetful.” He’s caused 6 months of constant agitation, anxiety, depression, crying, etc. He’s trying to turn her against her family. She phones and texts him constantly at all hours. It’s really bad. We are running out of ways to cope with this. As if this condition isn’t hard enough to deal with!

I wish I had this video when I gas caring for my grandmother 10 years ago…. That said, we are going down this journey again with my stepfather. That is what prompted me to even search this

I was just searching for ways to help mom understand that she’ll need 24 hour care now. She just told me that she can take care of herself for the 1000th time…so I suggested she try driving herself home and pick up her prescriptions on her way!! (I was extremely frustrated and being a royal b***ch suggesting such a thing) I so hate myself some days for the way I respond to her denial that she needs help. She forgets immediately that I’m being ridiculous. But I feel terrible and beat myself up for days. I found a fabulous retirement home that she would love if she’d give it a chance but I can’t reason with her about it. Having said all that, what could I say to accomplish my goal of moving her into this lovely place and have 24 hour care?

My mother’s dementia angers me. I am not equipped, nor do I want to be equipped, as her care giver. Being a care giver means that I am the one who has to change and honestly, I cannot make the changes needed. I am a very Black & White person, lying is not part of who I am. I will not lie or use deception or manipulation to care for a person who refuses to be helped and only gets angry when you try. Caring for her is very stressful and causes me such anxiety that I try to stay away.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! Just what we needed!! Perfect timing for our family. We all brainstormed ways to help our loved one who had a scary wandering away episode.

Excellent insight. Thank you so much. It also helps to know and understand that we’re not alone in this, and others have already gone through this hell; and have advice through experience, D

This is so helpful thank you!! Do we use this same technique with moments of rage during sundowners? Or is the response to them a little different?

I'm about to say some lie about Tylenol PM having a recall, or being out of stock because my MIL keeps requesting it, and her son keeps buying it no matter how many times I say to stop. I know she isn't my mother, but I know damn well she is not supposed to be taking anything with Diphenhydramine. I don't want to lose her earlier than she already has. I adore her, and respect her dignity. I can't allow her to keep taking it.

Im going through this with my mom right now. She’s convinced there’s a group of people after her and she hears voices telling her all these awful things, and She says they want her to leave her apartment. She won’t see a doctor and she’s convinced they’re real. On top of that shes already the stubborn person you could ever know. Im the only person she will talk to pretty much. It feels like a lose-lose situation. This is after she was in a mental hospital for a month. She would not sign consent so the doctors couldn’t share any information with us but i know they diagnosed her with early stages of dementia. Then hey released her. She was “ok” for a couple weeks but now the “voices” and the “group of people” are back 🤦🏼‍♂️ this is very difficult and i don’t want to say the wrong things to her but she needs to let me/us help her but she resists it. She was sleeping in her car at times. She even thought the doctors and nurses at the mental hospital were actors. The thing is, sometimes, alot of times, shes totally normal or close to it. She called me lastnite saying the voices told her they put nude pictures of her on the internet and asked me if i saw any of them online. Uhhhg. Of course i didn’t and i told her No. im supposed to call her back today to address this. Idk what to say exactly

Thank you so much, when I look at it that way it has made it much much better.

This concept was so helpful. Thank you SO much for creating and sharing this information ❤️

You sweet people, there are some medications that help to calm down patients, of course it has to be under doctors care. With my dad we had husky nephews & a policeman friend to help get him into the nursing home.

WARNING: Rant/Essay Ahead. Loss of independence. isn't that our greatest fear as adults, the permanent loss of independence? think of yourself, do you have a plan for how you'll accept that? each family has its own values and history. my family has no issue with a 92 year old woman driving her country roads. other families look askance at that situation. that woman drives during daylight and wears a safety pendant but yes, it will take cops 20 mins to find her if something goes down. she is selfish person who is putting herself and likely others in danger every single time. she thinks if she passes the test she is good to go. she limits her driving to about 2 days per week and is very conscientious keeping up the gas tank. Keeps car well maintained. Has caregivers drive her car to dr appts., errands, etc. so far she hasn't been diagnosed with any neurological condition but those creep up on a person don't they? have a plan in place for yourself. look at your values and reevaluate if they are still your values and if you are living according to them esp when there is a deviation. but at 92 reasoning is pretty much a loss cause imho, so a practical solution is going to have to happen...sadly the car is in her name only, it is a well maintained newer car with all the safety features. a difficult conversation: where are you going when you are out driving? I'd be glad to go there and get that for you. it just so happens i am going to that very place want to come with me? I love to go on the country roads why not ride along with me? I'd love for you to see your friends but get there in one piece, let me drop you off and pick you up when you're done. I'll be your on call personal limo service. (these have helped reduce her driving but it takes all family members participation. she recently drove 3 hours round trip for family thanksgiving dinner attended by 4 adults with drivers licenses who could have figured out how to pickup/drop off among themselves. except they didn't.) America is a driving country. the oldest among us now are some of the first drivers in their families. All their adult lives, they have been working hard to drive, buy new cars, get roads paved and maintained, paying their taxes, driving cross country on vacations, using their vehicles to help children move, gifting their old vehicles, treating their cars with loving care. Driving equals independence. Or does it? Can we think of other ways to have independence without personally driving a vehicle? Every adult who is independent today has potential for needing to address this issue. Address it before it becomes an "issue" and share your decision with your family --- that is another way of being independent. Having a plan in place for how you will stop driving a car permanently. And act accordingly. Be mature. Be proactive. Give your loved ones future peace of mind.

You could tell them you’re visiting a friend. Once inside, if dementia isn’t too far, they will become comfortable and realize it is their home

This really helped alot. Great info.

What wonderfull solutions you suggest. We did direct debits to help the bank.... also when we went shopping for clothes that i wanted mums opinion on plus she could try on something while there...

Thank-you! I enjoyed listening to your insightful and helpful information.

Thank you so much! This is the one I’ve been needing.

My cross street neighbor lost her husband about a couple years ago. Her family let her stay in her home. This weekend, she came across the street three times to ask for help at her home with a smoke detector that was beeping. Each time, she was told to call her son, who lives close by, to change the battery because she didn't think she had a replacement. I even wrote her a note to take back with her to Remind her to call her son. I don't think this worked. She forgot each instance that she crossed the street to ask for help. She if obviously Very sad and depressed, as she said as much. She is in a very vulnerable state and I truly think she needs to be in assisted living or taken into a family home. I may ask to speak on the phone with her family and say as much. If they leave her in this vulnerable condition, are there any things, as a concerned neighbor, that I could do to get her out of that house and taken care of? It's just not right. I'm in Michigan...

Thank you, Natalie! Very helpful video.

Such great advice. So hard to think this way but as I practice I do think I’m making progress.

This does feel like lying to my mom. My mom gets so angry if I do lie to her. It just gets her more triggered.

You have given us so many great tools.❤Thank you!

We need them to Comply, not Understand.

I totally understand this strategy and I've been trying to get my sister to adopt it with her husband. She's mostly there. But its driving. It's out of the question. Not happening but he is relentless. She completely got rid of the car years ago. What really needs to happen is for her, not him. He's driving her insane with it. It's been 10 years of this. Every single day, all day long, over and over and over again. It's endless. Anyone have a strategy for that?

What if every day he thinks /is ahocked & saddened that his adult son is dead ( he died 15 yrs ago) . What would i say? That his son is onvacation?

What you’re saying is we must humour them and lie to them. That is so hard. But I understand it’s for the best. She is incapable of understanding. A woman who was a CPA, the treasurer of a big Wall Street company, a wife, a mother, a very well educated and accomplished person… now can’t even drive or pay her own bills. Damn this cruel disease!

EXCELLENT!! Thank you!

Not that I don’t appreciate your advice, for I do. It’s just that you repeated the same information numerous times and the 13 minute video could have been done in 5 and maybe would get more views. Sorry, I know you are very knowledgeable and I hope you don’t think I’m attacking you personally

Great advice, thanks ❤

This will help a lot!

My grandma passed away from Alzheimers two days ago. My father is terrified of becoming like her in old age… i wish i could ease his mind, even prep my house for him to move in…

Thank you so much. Any suggestions for a perennially negative and angry spouse?

Id tell my patient " lets go Visit"!