Speaking as someone who studied metaphysics and ontology for a good 5-6 years I can say I have no f*cking clue what "the ontology" of the library is supposed to mean. Like, did you forget that drywall exists? Or that processes will occur in the building, but that the building isn't a process it's an independent continuant containing an aggregate of books? Or that while books are independent continuants the stories in them are generally dependent continuants? Like, wtf does regarding the being or existence of a library have to do with capturing an aesthetic form after a reliable structure is defined? Sounds like a buzzword use of the word, have you considered the radiology of the library? Or the entomology of the building? ffs Some managers try to be philosophers...
Well, did a girl tell you that you are beautiful, you are neat in your words and clothes and respectful, my favorite type for finding girlfriends, but I want to know, do you do that all the time or just in front of the camera? 🇸🇦😆✊💚
I think it is very productive to have positive feedback. Thats literally what makes the most sense, negative feedback should play some part. Ideal feedback Ratios: 75% positive 25% negative Positive: All that is right Negative: Room for improvement If people like it then they want more.
I don't really know what vocal fry is, but I think the way you talk is fantastic. You're one of the most watchable and listenable presenters on this whole dang platform. I only discovered your channel today, after I saw a short where you talked about architecture. I instantly thought to myself, Holy Cow, I could listen to this person talk about literally anything all day long. I guess I'll stop myself there before the gushing gets out of hand lol. You're doing great work, I hope you'll keep going for years to come.
I recently came across this channel and instantly dove in. I'm not sure if it was because of my untapped interest in architecture or just the way she presents. Likely a combination. I subscribed immediately which is very unusual for me.
Please, don’t change your voice, or limit your hand movements. That’s what makes you original, unique and not plastic. I watch your content for its content and your unique way of delivering it. I love your fresh and unique approach to your message which is why I’m here, learning and being entertained at the same time. Criticism is easy, creativity and originality is hard. Thank you for being you.
Italians constantly gesticulate with their hands. It's an accepted part of the cultural identity, so why not anywhere else? I'm told I don't take criticism well, but who does. I can self-analyse that criticism, and don't always agree with it, but I will at least try to vocalise my viewpoint either way. Realising it was right is ultimately is accepting failure and figuring out how not to repeat that in future.
The forced contrived vocal fry is fake. People are tired of fake. People want authentic. Written in a very strained low-voiced unnatural voice-to-text cadence.
@@stephenvalente3296 We latinos also talk using our hands and whole body. I always thought It was an universal thing until I stumbled upon the comments she shows in the videos. How can someone be bothered by that? I mean, when I'm talking to someone, I'm not looking at his/her hands. I guess people in north american must be a little more "riggid" with their communication (?). Also, I didn't understand whats with the vocal fry stuff complains. I'm not a native english speaker and I can understand her without having to recur to subtitles.
I like the hands and the voice too. Makes it more lively and like she really wants us to understand the subject. Also how do you even change your voice, isn't it genetics?
I absolutely love your videos. Your presentations and insights are always professional, organized, and thoroughly developed. As for the complaints you've received, I have never thought of these things as negatives. Your voice, your expressions, and your gestures are yours. They are a part of who you are. They are a big part of why we all show up to watch your content.
I'm retired now Dami and learned a few things on the way. People are way to judgemental and need to focus on their own s-it a lot more than they do. Some people will never like you and look for ways to undermine your performance and finally, watching your videos are a source of inspiration for me. Your delivery, content, topics are all exceptional. I am not an architect but you have helped me embrace the subject, isn't that what it's all about
Your vocals are OKAY and your hands are not SMALL. In fact, when we first subbed was because of the way how you presented the video on 'THE LINE' and the choice of how you chose your style of voice. Keep at it. The comments at 1:05 really annoys us. Your awesome! Edit: Thanks for sharing this wholesome content about feedback. We truly gel in how we humans react towards criticism that are against who we are as an 'identity' - identity triggers. Stay awesome!
The vocal fry is definitely there, most women learn it because their real voice didn’t give them enough confidence and they use it to make them „bigger“. Most People will not acknowledge it because they are personally hit by it, but that’s the background.
I come to your channel to watch you because of your ability to convey a topic in an engaging way. Your expressiveness and personality is a large part of what makes it possible for me to stay and listen and learn from you. Please don’t change a thing. That said, we could all benefit from trying to become the best version of ourselves that we possible can…no exceptions.
By the way, that's crazy how, the quality of your work make me listen stuff that I don't even care, so I learn again and again. Perfect tone, perfect voice, perfect rythm, image really good... You nailed it ! (My comment has nothing to do with this specific video, but with your work in general) About this video, really cool, good to see a deep feedback like that
Dami, let me go on record. I love your hand gestures. They are expressive, and natural. There may be quite a few, but so what. I love your facial expressions. I like your voice. Project more if you like, but I do not have a problem with it. You are showing a mature, self-deprecating, and analytical approach to all types of feedback which is both admirable and sometimes productive, but also bear in mind that some bosses, clients, and coworkers at certain times and in certain places can be just bloody unreasonable. Some are un-observant, some are insensitive, some are unfair. There will be times when after a calm evaluation, it may be a justified conclusion that you are being unfairly accused, bullied, manipulated, or that they are throwing their weight around. On those occasions it is ok to smile, and tell them charmingly but assertively that you do not agree, and why you do not agree. Sometimes you need to re-take a hill. I think it is brilliant that you started your own business, and I look forward keenly on watching your ongoing successes.
As someone who has trouble giving feedback, receiving feedback, and everything in between. I appreciated your measured and well-thought-out approach to explaining feedback as a whole and wanted to say thanks!
I can't believe the negative comments people have posted...so unnecessary. You're so endearing, expressive, intelligent, comical, well-spoken... the list goes on. And this was yet another great video - one that's applicable to anyone - not only architects.
1st, I never leave comments so this rare exception for me means I was really impelled to share this feedback: I’m not an architect (although I wanted to be when I was young) and yet I’ve been religiously watching all your videos for over a year. I’m wildly impressed by your content, creative delivery, and natural presentation skills. I’m very grateful for all the countless hours and effort you put into creating these and I learn so much from them that translates to my profession and/or life. I’m shocked that anyone would leave negative comments, and wish to echo the scores of positive comments here on this video. Thank you DamiLee for everything! I’m proud to be a fellow Vancouverite of yours 😁 (is the grammar in that last sentence correct? Feedback please!)
You inspire me to start a Grammar Police League specialized in negative feedback specific to grammar and spelling. It pulls legs incredibly well when wielded strategically in social media comments 😂😂
You’re genuinely hilarious with your little edits and stuff. You have better comedic chops than SNL (ok setting the bar low, but still). These approaches are super helpful to just about any relationship too. Great video.
I only recently discovered this channel and don't often write youtube comments, but I felt compelled to write. I work in IT and also give and take a lot of technical training so I have seen a lot of presentation styles over the last 30 years.. Your presentation style is absolutely top drawer. Your hand movements and your voice come across as totally natural and it makes your videos a very easy watch and listen. Sometimes people can take continuous improvement too far and actually make things worse, look at those golfers who have been brilliant, then tried to rebuild their golf swing, it often does not go well. Right now, in terms of your overall presentation style you are that pro-golfer, I wouldn't change a thing.
I was so scared of critic and presenting my projects at first year of studies! :) Now I feel very confident with public presentations or group discussions but back than it was a nightmare! Presentation is a skill which even shy people can master :) Great video , as always
Vocal fry is something you are born with or acquired throughout years of speaking. I watch RU-vid for two things, to get entertained and/or to get educated on things I do not understand. You do both perfectly. If people cannot get past through the so-called "vocal fry voice", they're just being nitpicky. Love your voice and I love your content. I can listen to it endlessly and not get bored with it even though I have no clue on architecture and how does one work. Much love from a fan (and a subscriber) in the Philippines.
I'm in my final year of art school and I'm really struggling with weekly group crits. It has been excruciating getting nothing but negative feedback every week for 6 months, its had such a negative toll. Thank you so much this video has helped me tremendously in trying to navigate the entire situation. I've been able to reengage with the group and even access on other major problem areas.
Great video, Dami! As an Engineer I can definitely relate and it's nice to hear this topic broken down from someone who has faced these situations recently. Also, I honestly like the way you talk, I find it unique and it's actually one of the many reasons I enjoy your content. Maybe that's just me lol but I'd say don't stress too much over it 😅
@@DamiLeeArch I actually had to "Google" "Vocal Fry" as I had no idea what it was... LOL, and maybe it's just me... but I "don't" hear it... as for the hand movement, I think it adds to the "descriptiveness" of what you are saying, helps fulfill the statement with emphasis on topic. Yep, you said it best, you just can't please everyone...
@@DamiLeeArch I didn't know what Vocal Fry was either. The definition doesn't really help understanding what it is supposed to mean. I love watching ypur videos even though I am not an architect. Keep doing what you do.😊
@@MarkWRoberts I feel the same about the vocal fry and now I'm curious if she didn't change her voice a bit from earlier videos, seeing as I discovered her recently. About the hand gestures I do agree, though, I find it really expressive and helpful to keep up with what she's saying, as Tom Scott would put it, they are a meaningful part of communication.
I like the sound of your voice (including the fry). What I always find difficult to understand, if someone has an issue with your way of presenting stuff, they can leave at any time…no one is forcing them to stay. So why comment like this (1:05) and not in a supportive way. Keep up the good work, you are doing great!
Dami I actually appreciate your voice and the casual feel that and fullness that having vocal fry has. I'm fairly tall and speak in a naturally low register, giving me alot of vocal fry as well. It's nice to have a full sound when alot of content creators push their voices and EQing of them often high & too loud. This probably wasn't solicited feedback and I apologize but felt like this was a moment to show some appreciation!
I just found your video. Your opening sequence was right on. I am a set designer, and I have faced these situations often, and was reminded of some advice I received from one of my graduate profs: “Don’t fall in love with your own work.” This is about communication. Early in my career it was about the skills in design; the drawing, model building, learning to be a competent colorist. As I progressed ,(having received much difficult feedback), I started having more meaningful meetings using quickly built white models that could be ripped apart and reconfigured right then, or doing sketches while in active conversation with the client. But it took awhile.
One thing I've learned as I've progressed in my leadership is to obtain consent before offering feedback, as well as trying harder to 'pull' feedback that's timely, specific and actionable so others know how to give useful feedback. many times feedback is too general or vague, or comes too late to be useful. If you get in the habit of making sure your receiver is ready to hear it, as well as being specific about the types of feedback you want/need, it helps others know how to help you.
You are great, just ignore annoying comments like the ones you shared. Love your content and also how thoughtful and interesting your topics are. Cheers!
Great summary on the topic, I will recommend to others. Two things that I find I find helfpul: 1) Active listening. If I'm not sure if I understand what the other person is getting it, I might say "Let me see if I understood that correctly." or "This is how I understood you. Did I get it right?" and then summarize it in my own words. 2) Reframing. It's not positive or negative, it's pleasant or unpleasant. It really helped me to notice to differentiate between what has been said and what my reaction is.
I love your voice, the way you talk, your sense of humor, all of it! That's why I started watching your channel. I am a photographer so I'm interested in architecture on some level but your delivery made it even more enjoyable. I really loved the creativity you bring and as your channel has grown I love your new stuff more and more. I just watched your video "Why we need AURA in our Lives" and was blown away. Your ability to combine your knowledge of architecture with other real-world topics in beautiful and creative ways is like magic. Keep it up! love it all! =)
Your ability to discuss such drastically different subjects in such a thorough and professional manner is amazing, while adding your own sense of humor so seamlessly! Love it! Wishing you all the success and enjoyment you deserve in your journey.
You'd think every single person that went through architecture school should be able to handle negative feedback somewhat fine, since some architecture teachers can be very rough, but sadly that's not the case. The biggest issue is to define yourself by your creativity and then having negative feedback targeting that one thing, hard to separate your ego from the objective "reality". I just found your channel a couple weeks ago but i gotta say i love your content and the way you present it.
Also you asume the feedback is objectively right. It is worst when the feedback is truly wrong, and yet you are still expected to manage it. Perhaps that has to do with your example here, as students, there is a high likelihood that the the teacher is giving good (objectively speaking) feedback even if done in a negative way. But as a profesional, you are most likely getting feedback from either a client, that has no idea what he is talking about when it comes to architecture, and yet makes some dumb demand. Or people who are presumably your equals in skill and knowledge and wont necessary be giving you good feedback but rather their opinion on what is better. Leading to conflict. rightfully so.
Thanks for sharing your experience! Useful to anyone regardless of your profession. Honestly learning how to receive feedback I think is more important than learning how to give it! Thanks for reminding me about the book.
MI’m a volunteer moderator of various forums encompassing a few million people. The one important thing I have learned to stay remotely sane is to learn which feedback to read, and which to ignore. This is most often entirely different from how you need to react to physical relationships.
No idea what vocal fry is or any of that other stuff. Those PDfs don't belong on an international platform. People have cultures and accents. Hand gestures are a natural part of a conversation that has always existed. Let's all stand motionless with our arms at our sides while talking. Literally inhuman, but let's do it. God forbid a fly to enter a sign language scene. I never noticed your hand gestures until I saw those comments. I'm looking at your pupil and iris and regularly gaze away during processing and listening like I'm supposed to. A growth mindset is important, but seeing the pretentiousness in those comments suggests other issues that are not yours. These are the unworldly bunch who stare at TikTok with their eyes glazed over. With all that said, your philosophy of growth and growth of philosophy is impressive. Professional Human Being: Certified
The difference between being an architect and most other professions is that you are still being mentored by your bosses even past the intern phase. Criticism isn't just about your performance, but also your growth as an architect. In good situations architectural mentors can really help young architects grow, while in bad situations this mentor/student relationship can be abused. So one has to gauge if the feedback is positive or negative. ( a learning experience or not). If you are learning, don't fight it. But if you are in an abusive job, don't stay.
Spot on. Regardless of the occupation, one has to first identify if its valid criticism, or abuse and other actions in the guise of 'criticism'. Frankly, if its truly a genuinely helpful or toxic work environment. That isn't always going to be the case, and assuming good faith isn't always the best idea. You have to actually find that out and gtfo if its not the case.
I found this really interesting as I am an artist in DeviantArt. As much as I hate criticism, sometimes the critical comments are right and the changes to my art only take a few minutes. I have to be open to criticism, especially from experienced artists. It stings sometimes, but I think we always strive to get better, and this is just a part of that process. Good video!
Experience can definitely help with managing constructive feedback because we begin learn how to interpret it as useful towards a greater good instead of a negative tear down. In addition, if we envision our assignments from a meta-view (managements perspective) it really helps get us through a project because we know that we're contributing our part to a larger cause which can also aid us in better empathizing with the decisions that management are making since the stakes can be much higher for them. Having a Stoic, Zen or similar mindset really does help us exercise healthy detachment from things that are beyond our control allowing us to appreciate that edits, revisions or start-overs are going to be a part of the process and that it has nothing to do with our lack of ability and everything to do with bringing out our best work on every project. Management chose to hire us and not somebody else so that means they really do believe in our potential ... no matter how much annoying feedback they throw at us! PS - I like your hand gestures, seldom vocal fry and up-talk. Some people may think it's an issue but I don't agree whatsoever, it's a personal preference.
I think there's important lessons here for people receiving criticism, as well as people giving criticism. As a PhD student, I have to work as a teaching assistant and occasional instructor - and my colleagues CONSTANTLY complain about our undergraduate students getting defensive or dismissive towards our feedback. I've found that my students tend to take feedback really well when I help direct them on how to move forward, how to get better. The defensiveness, I think, comes from a place of wanting to say "I belong here, I want to succeed, I'm going to get through this" - and when I give students suggestions on HOW they're going to get through this and succeed, now we're on the same team. They don't *need* to defend because they can see how I'm helping them get from point A to point B. "You did this thing wrong" can be useful, but my students get a lot more out of "You did this wrong - try doing X, Y or Z instead." That path forward is SO important.
Idk if it's my phone but for some reason the video is stuck on the thumbnail, no other videos in ur catalog just this one, hmmm. Well either way, glad to have found your channel, very interesting and inciteful. Subbed!😁
I love your voice, but more importantly, I really enjoy your perspective on architecture. Videos like this where you bring in the business, processing, managing aspects of architecture are great too, because it's applicable across business sectors and life in general. Keep doing what you do!
Actually, what draws me to your videos is how you present your topics. Your voice has a commanding, yet reassuring tone when you explain your thought process and your hand movements just reaffirm the intention of you're saying. Being critiqued is not easy, especially when coming from your peers or your clients. But what you gain from it can be helpful, depending how it is absorbed. Sometimes people can't agree how a space should be perceived, so hopefully a compromise can emerge. Keep up the good videos.
Yeah same here, also there literally a thousand, dozen thousands of creators on this and other plataforms that might suit more your tastes i never understand people critize things that someone can't change you're just mean and unpolite i find her voice soothing
Weird, I only have a passing interest in architecture, and am here mostly because I find your presentation style delightful and video production very entertaining. And because of your enormous hands.
Well, I've discovered your channel not that long ago and have binge watched your content for many, many hours. You are an amazing storyteller, and your videos are dynamic, engaging and beautifully edited. I love your sense of humour and your courage. It's not easy putting yourself out there and dealing with these trolls. Keep up the amazing work, you've made this Vancouver doctor here fall in love with architecture! Cheers
I'm a carpenter and I love building things. I take so much pride in what I make when someone has any criticism I take it hard. You are extremely intelligent and I'm sure you are a perfectist. Don't take things to hard let your work speak for it's self. Your awesome
I love your videos, it really explains obstacles in architecture and I am thankful that you have our back. Also don't let anyone attack your hand gestures, it is just how you express yourself.
What are those commenters talking about? Your vocal fry IS LOVELY! (It's kinda delightfully ASMRish even.) And the way you interact in front of the camera is captivating. And those are just the superficial factors. The content is solid and interesting. Your channel is one of my favorite architecture channels. Don't change a thing!!
Wonderful video! As someone with a role that heavily features client work where engineers are regularly working directly with the stakeholders of our projects, there's a lot of applicability here. I would also agree with another comment here that expressed interest in a sort of flip-side video in this vein focusing on how to provide criticism. A lot of the people we receive feedback from at work are not necessarily in roles that involve a lot of project management or require them to evaluate others' performance, so they can struggle to provide actionable feedback. For my purposes, that feedback is often quantitative--does something function the way it needs to, does it satisfy whatever restrictions may be in place for the project--so what makes a poor response is fairly cut-and-dry, but I've definitely worked with quite a few people who struggle to communicate when they think something could be better without coming across as destructive or spiteful. Outside of that, I think an important caveat to dealing with criticism (which I believe you express here to some degree already) is that sometimes there really isn't anything to be done about it. Not all feedback is correct. Sometimes people don't actually think about what they are saying, and it really is a matter of explaining why a decision was made. One of the most difficult but necessary parts of my work is when a client comes to us, expresses something along the lines of, "this doesn't work the way we want it to, it needs to be like X, Y, and Z," and then we essentially have to say, "No, that isn't going to happen, and that can't happen." Similar situations can be true in intra-office feedback, where it can be necessary to be able to communicate with your peers and management that you understand what they are saying, but that other things are or will need to take priority. I also think a lot of our ability to respond to and grow from feedback can depend on the environment it is received in. Criticism may be actionable, but if it's given in a space or manner that is abusive or dehumanizing, it can be difficult to identify what aspects of the criticism should actually *be* acted on; e.g., if you are told that your behavior reflects poorly on your organization, some of those points may be true, but if that feedback includes criticisms like engaging in cultural practices or speaking another language--being an 'other'--it may be challenging to really know if any of those points should be accepted. Once again, this was a fantastic video! Thank you for making something that provides concise, functional information. In many places receiving non-trivial criticism can be treated as a personal failing, and providing people with the tools to introspect and consider how even negative responses can be used to develop both professionally and personally is incredibly admirable!
In my unsolicited opinion, there is nothing wrong with being yourself. EVER! If you speak with your hands, be you. Your voice, I think it's beautiful and it's how you were born. If others are taking issue(s) with you being you, that is their problem and you are not their solution. Let them work work on them and continue to be the beautiful you that you are.
This is all very valuable information. However, it assumes a couple of things. It assumes that feedback is correct, that it's honest, and that it's done for your benefit. In a good relationship, all of those things are true, but not all relationships are good. So it's also important to evaluate the person giving your feedback, your relationship, and how aligned this feedback is with your development and career and personality etc.
Grew up in a farming town and learned how to drive heavy trucks as a kid. Couldn't afford to go to Uni and didn't really know what to do with my life so around the age of 20 I got a job as a short-haul truck driver. Started saving money to go to school as an adult, but didn't tell my employer. Literally, the day before I was going to put in 2 weeks' notice I get dispatched to company HQ and they lay me and every other short-haul driver off. They paid me a few thousand dollars in severance (not a lot of money to some people but literally made the difference between me doing a 1-year accounting certificate or a 2-year diploma) I met my wife in that 2-year program and ended up (eventually) getting a job that paid 85k as opposed to the 45k I was dreaming about as a young kid. I wouldn't have been qualified for that job without the diploma, I'm currently the only person in my workplace that doesn't have a university degree and my one relatively obscure accounting course from my diploma is the only thing allowing me to work where I do. My jump from poverty to middle class came down to 24 hours between quitting and being laid off. It's bought my house and given me enough financial backing to raise a family. That one severance cheque would have taken me YEARS to save up and was totally out of my reach.
Huh, I find your voice quality & overall presentation to be clear & pleasing. To each his own, I guess. Your videos are superb with compelling content so thank you for your obvious hard work on them all 🌸
I take my cues from Stoic philosophers like Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus. “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” You're doing a great job, by the way. I'm not an architect, but my father (who was one) taught me to see the beauty in design and to appreciate what it takes to make those designs materialize.
Sending you a lot of respect! (1. for making this video, and 2. for breaking down these issues that we all deal with! Very intelligent way to look at life’s obstacles 💪💪
The first time I started watching one of your videos, I was at first a bit surprised by your voice, but a few moments later, I was enthralled. The tone of your voice, how you express your ideas, I find the whole experience beautiful and unique. I recently learned about "vocal fry" and that it is supposed to indicate anxiety among other things. I immediately thought of you and then thought..."Nah". Maybe for some people that is the case, but personally, I feel your voice calming and soothing. And the quality of your content is really among the best RU-vid has to offer. Feedback at work can be harsh and so very often, it can take place for a myriad of reasons not related to somebody's actual performance. In the maybe fictional scenario in this video, it almost seemed like somebody felt threatened, but it's just one of so many possibilities. Great tips though and food for thought!
As someone who is also always told that i “use too much hand gestures”, I can totally relate, but I haven’t noticed that about you until you pointed it out here!
I give public talks several times per year, and I actually record my talks so I can improve. One thing I noticed myself doing was repeatedly saying 'So' at the start of sentences. I notice other people doing it too now as a result. I used to say other filler words too but i mainly eliminated them...words like 'eh'...(this one was pointed out by a friend as a constructive criticism) ...it was simply a matter of being aware that they are simply filler words to eliminate a silence. I learned to be ok with small pauses and silences in public talks, which in turn helped me eliminate them. Some criticism is good. Helps us improve. However remember, there are a lot of trolls out there who hate seeing anyone doing well...they love to run you down. P.s. you do move your hands a little much...but on the whole, your videos are really nicely put together. Keep up the good work.
Your videos are great My 15-year old daughter is considering architecture as a career and she watches your videos on a regular basis. Keep up the great work.
@@carlsmith8850 the way architecture is presented through media or at least how most people know it is very different from reality, architecture is a path that is highly passion driven and also earn very little money compare to the effort needed to put into it . I recommend talking to someone that has an architectural background to make decision. Please dont look at the bright side of architecture only. (coming from someone in architecture for 8 years)
I'm a classically-trained vocalist with thousands of hours of public speaking and performance experience. Your voice is amazing, clear, articulate, and unique. Your hands aren't small, annoying, or distracting... in fact, in the short time I've been subscribed to your channel (during which I've watched and listened to many hours of you speaking) whenever I've had stray thoughts about your hands, it was usually, "Her hands are so cute!" or "I love the way she talks with her hands." My point is that your delivery is flawless, and you shouldn't change a thing-especially not for haters on RU-vid. Thank you so much for all of your hard work and for producing the wonderful content you make! You've made me a better, smarter person and I (like so many others) cherish you as a creator and educator.
How do I deal with negative feedback? I start by listening. I usually get angry. But it's best to stay quiet and let them finish. I can get into denial, and I find it harder to stop myself from "defending my art", but it can make me seem pathetic and thin skinned people get hurt by it. They might have constructive criticism, or a solution or say something that helps you find a solution by highlighting a legitimate problem. They might be abusive and yelling, but that subsides pretty quickly if you calmly listen. They might have a good reason to be angry. It's so easy to massively inconvenience someone without realizing. Hopefully by then you're both working together to fix the issue... if there is one... or they make it clear that they should be ignored or that they are the problem. Online, what I try to do is scan the message for useful feedback. If I'm emotional I try not to respond until I've had time to mull it over. But if I find that if I'm in denial I'm bad at stopping myself, but I'm getting better at it. As for comments that are just plain mean I ignore them... but god help them if I'm in a trolling mood and I don't feel the need to be professional.
Don't change a thing. I came over from a clip on Instagram to this channel because I found you so intriguing. There will always be those that berate or criticize you for things that others (like myself) find intelligent and even attractive. Ask yourself, is the criticism you're receiving designed to make you a better person or a better person for the one criticising you. Food for thought.
What?! I just found your channel and I'm already a fan. Not only your content is appealing, well redacted and mesmerizing but your videos are pretty well edited and quite soothing actually. Keep up your good work
Don’t be too concerned about criticism. Just be yourself and change if you can, if you don’t feel comfortable to change, just be yourself. It’s not ignorance, it’s just I am aware of it, and it’s just part of me, and I can’t change. We can’t be looking good to anyone, some attractions to certain people would be disgusting to others, and most of the time, it is those attractions defined who we really are.
I honestly love the way you talk. It sounds honest, laid back and calm at the same time. It's not annoying at all to me and that tells me it's a thing of personal preference. If people are complaining, they're always mad at themselves, not you, so just don't worry about others. If you need hard evidence, just look at your numbers. They don't lie.
Thank you for the insightful (and really helpful) video. Not only was this good for me to hear (and absorb), but also caused me to not only reflect on how to receive criticism, but on how I should treat others if I am in the position of having to make a criticism - by being polite and courteous to others and focus on the issue, not the person. Your insight and wisdom are gifts - and I appreciate your willingness to share these gifts with us.
Thanks Dami i am a Kitchen Consultant & During Preliminary Schematics i faced some negative feedbacks during web calls but your vids really helped me out
Even though I have no idea about architecture , I’m addicted to your videos! After this one specifically, I realise it’s the way you speak. It tunes so clearly in my head ! Gj and good luck with your channel!
Thank you so much. You really help me. I’m having a hard time after receiving negative feedback at the moment. I feel sad. But after watching your video. I feel so much better now❤❤❤
Awesome video on how to handle feedback. I learned a new trigger "Identity Trigger". One mechanism I inculcated during my 38 years in managing people is to use a system called as SBI i.e. Situation, Behaviour and Impact.
OMG I ❤ this. My evaluation of you: your success is triggering my/others' jealousy and as a human I feel like breaking you down rather than building you up because...... ancestors?
Just wanted to say that I’m Creative Strat from Sg who consumes a boatload of content and recently I’ve been un subbing to a lot of legacy Channels and popular ones…. So when I found you, I was genuinely surprised at the absolute QUALITY of your content and presentation. I link your videos to my team all the time because of the attention to detail and the perspective that your unique person brings. So much love and respect from Sg !!!
I recently stumbled across your channel, and have enjoyed watching some of your videos. I have to say, that if someone is griping about your voice or vocal style, or your constant hand movements...that's all on them. They're just being petty, and they're the ones who made the choice to watch your videos. They're not worth your time to respond to, or change for. Actual criticism based on the content is completely different, and how we handle it can tell us a lot about ourselves, and possibly what we could change about responding to it. That's completely valid. Personally, I find your videos to be fascinating, and I don't see anything wrong with your voice or hand movements. I'm used to seeing many people that use their hands a lot when talking, and changing facial expressions constantly. Those are an integral part of their being...it's what helps make them unique. The voice or vocal style also makes one unique. If someone can't deal with it, again, that's all on them.
Before I get too far I just want to say that is tough and I understand, and you are certainly not alone in thinking this. Especially with us creatives as it can feel like we pour ourselves into things and it becomes very personal. That distinction is important to know, we are not our work, or our tastes, or our experiences those are things we go through or have. Much like a mature parent allows their kid to be themselves, our work, it just grows and is its own. I think that it is also important to not place too much importance on any one version of work. This happens a lot when we are starting creating. As a musician and photographer, I felt like this song was going to be the hit that it all happened with, but I had to keep writing, and it grew. Often rewriting things. As a photographer I wanted people to see and appreciate one of my first 100 shots. Then 30k later I was really coming into my own. Hard not to cringe on early work. Those zen fundamentals about working to release attachment to all things is very important. It takes energy to be so emotionally invested in things. Which takes away from the purity of our work in the now. Also I wanted to add that you are absolutely gorgeous. I love your cadence and vocal tones, as I have said before I find that you are writing and speaking poetry in a observational sense. Coming from genuine emotions and thoughts that arise from that peace inside of knowing. Always appreciative, Chris
Hey, What an amazing way of putting this delicate subject! As a Previsualization artist i deal with this roller-coaster feedback on a daily basis and it is so important to not take criticism as a personal attack for anyone's sanity... this video should be shown in any life-schooling class .. Bravo!
Being on the spectrum, these are ques I've been doing my whole life, another thing to remember when giving/getting feedback, most the time the other person doesn't remember what was said, but they will always remember the energy you give in the conversation, this keeps the emotional aspect in check while one overviews the 'whole' situation and views before a response
What you said around minute 13:00: I do that with character development for stories. I usually have some other idea first about who they are, but I'll try to think of things that they're interested in or that would deeply concern them, and then either read articles or watch movies and whatnot trying to assume that point of view. It's about as soul-tickling as you can imagine.
My aunt is an architect, she sometimes brings her friends and relatives at her place to ask for opinion and other eyes perspective occasionally. Its not an easy job trust. Its like doing graphic arts but w a few measurements, definitely huge respect to you :). Dedication and keeping it forward no matter what the opinion out come is.
I think your presentation skills, professionalism and insight are fantastic! Keep up the excellent work! Working in the medical field in leadership has been tough recently, and your videos have been a huge help the past couple months. Thank you.
I wanted to echo the tons of appreciative comments here, not just to be a cheerleader, but because I genuinely feel the same way about your videos! I LOVE your videos and not only have not noticed the vocal fry or hands, but really love every aspect of the way you present. It is clear you have invested a tremendous amount of time, energy, creativity and skill into these and the production value AND content is top notch…which leads me to my feedback about feedback! I was a life coach for almost 2 decades, so my job was literally feedback for 8+ hours a day! I love what you say about growth mindset AND, in the hopes that it is useful, I would also add that it’s really important to decide if the feedback someone else, or even many someone else’s, are giving you is something that is important to YOU to address. People have different preferences and priorities and values and styles, so, while I am all about finding the truth in the feedback you are receiving and using it to grow - I would say, don’t forget in there, to check in and make a decision about who YOU want to be and what’s important to you and only change in that way if it is something you want to change for yourself. Like with the vocal fry, yes, maybe a group of people spoke out that didn’t like it and that’s their perogative. BUT, those are the only voices you heard (initially) because the rest of the folks not only weren’t bothered by it, but likely didn’t even notice it (like me) as a thing at all to comment on, let alone express criticism or support. Only because you have published this video and highlighted those critiques, you are hearing that there are WAY more voices that feel the opposite way. So, I think it’s great that you were willing to work on that critique, but if it’s just because you heard it more than once, I don’t think that means it’s worth changing for - UNLESS - it is something that you personally agree with and think needs improvement or changing. There are just as many voices that you weren’t hearing that wouldn’t case their votes that way…and ALSO, your voice and hand movements are not a subject of democratic debate! We don’t get to vote on it! People have their preferences, but, you are a human being, not a Starbucks coffee order! You are you and you are in charge of who you choose to be. Full stop. So, to me, what’s left is the question, what do YOU think about your voice and your hands - work on it if you want to - don’t work on it if you don’t want to, and you can move forward knowing that there are some people that like it, some people who don’t (and most people who don’t even think about it at all). When a person includes this question into the feedback process, then, no matter what people think about you or your actions in the future, you will be at peace with them because you have the power of being in integrity to yourself. I know, I am not the best at being concise…that’s something I need to and choose to work on…later :) I hope this is useful. Thank you, Dami, for helping me learn and grow in all the ways I want to as I learn about being an architect and a designer. Can’t wait to watch another video!
Just discovered your content and love how much research, thought and passion goes into your videos. There's nothing wrong with your voice or mannerisms. They make you who you are and I would argue they also make people connect with you more. I see a lot of people here saying the same. You mentioned that it's important to consider feedback when a lot of people are saying the same thing (and I agree!) but we tend to only do this when the feedback is negative and not when it's overwhelmingly positive. We'll find the one negative comment in a sea of positives and hyper focus on it, so that lesson goes both ways. Thank you for the tips on taking criticism more effectively and recognizing triggers. Definitely plan to use some of those techniques with my own clients going forward. 🙏🏾
Hey. Thank you so much for this. This video showed up on my feed right after I got home from taking some feedback at work. I took notes during this entire video and rewinded it when I needed to to make sure I understood the entire message. You are my guardian angel in this moment. I am in school and entering a new industry as an automotive technician. I work with a team of top performers and am learning how to navigate my own shortcomings and limitations while I am in school full time while working evenings and weekends. Again thank you for this video. I’m literally about to write an email to my leadership team to discuss the feedback I just received and this has helped me to overcome my own emotions and use this moment to grow. I’ve been watching your channel recently and really appreciate all of your insights. Cheers from Kelowna. Glad we are sorta neighbors. Keep designing epic things. The world needs thoughtful architecture.
Receiving criticism helps you learn about areas of your work that could be improved but it also helps you manage your own emotional reactions, helping you improve your leadership qualities. On top of this, you're also gifted insight into the other person.
Not an architect. But work in construction. I have to give and take criticism, almost daily. This was a value watch. Ty for your honesty and sound advice.
