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How to Deal with Negative Emotions - Distress Tolerance 

Dr. Tracey Marks
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I’ve talked about dialectical behavior therapy or DBT as the best treatment for borderline personality disorder. But modified forms of DBT can be helpful for other conditions like bipolar disorder, anxiety, eating disorders, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder.
Today I’m going to teach you one of the many techniques that is used with DBT to be able to manage your emotions. It’s called distress tolerance. Distress tolerance is the skill of being able to accept the emotion that you’re feeling without resorting to coping behaviors that make your situation and overall condition worse.
Mindfulness video
• How To Use Mindfulness...
Mindful Acceptance Template
Recognize and allow the emotion
Try to think of a more intense form of your emotion. Examples instead of sad, maybe you are distraught or crushed. Instead of mad, you are disgusted or appalled, instead of afraid you are worried, terrified or crazed
Then say I am feeling [emotion], It’s ok, I can allow myself to feel this. . I’m not bad because I have this feeling and I can allow myself to have it. I’m going to make space for it. I do not need to be afraid of it because I’m not going to [do some drastic or destructive action]. I can control myself. So I don’t need to get rid of this feeling.
Watch the Emotion:
Let me watch this [emotion] and see what it does. While I’m watching it, I’m going to call it what it is. [name the emotion(s)]. I don’t have to get caught up in it. Where do I notice the emotion in my body? I notice it in [body part]. I feel [sensation from the impact of the emotion]. But it’s just an emotion, nothing more and nothing less.
I am not my emotions. I simply watch my emotions.
My [emotion] is like an ocean wave. I’m not going struggle and fight the wave. I’m going to go with it and float with it. I may even ride the wave to shore.
Be present.
I’m going to turn my attention back to what I am doing now. First I’m going to notice what’s going on with all five senses. What can I feel or touch, what do I hear? What do I see in front of me. What do I smell? What do I taste?
or
I’m going to turn my attention to my breaths. My breath is my anchor for the present moment. I take note of how I inhale and then how I exhale.
When the emotion comes back
When the emotion returns, I say, that’s ok. That’s what emotions do, they come and they go. I’m going to watch it again. I will let it sit in the room with me. Or I may float up and down with it again like the ocean wave.
Disclaimer: All of the information on this channel is for educational purposes and not intended to be specific/personal medical advice from me to you. Watching the videos or getting answers to comments/question, does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. If you have your own doctor, perhaps these videos can help prepare you for your discussion with your doctor.
I upload every Wednesday at 9am, and sometimes have extra videos in between. Subscribe to my channel so you don't miss a video goo.gl/DFfT33

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18 июн 2019

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Комментарии : 1,5 тыс.   
@aliciawoods8925
@aliciawoods8925 3 года назад
This video made me realize how much suppressed anger built up inside in me because I feel like I was never allowed to express myself without out being criticized or judged. And in a result, my anger turned into really bad anxiety and avoidance behavior.
@fabpinay11
@fabpinay11 3 года назад
Fvkn same
@jchase5158
@jchase5158 3 года назад
Same here my friend
@sagradoish
@sagradoish 2 года назад
Same here!
@hayden51773
@hayden51773 2 года назад
I felt so called out! I've literally thought...I dont get angry...😆
@sxyteesa0890
@sxyteesa0890 2 года назад
I feel heard for once honestly
5 лет назад
While the health system is failing people worldwide, dr. Marks is out to save us all! Thanks for another great video!!
@patrickhanson712
@patrickhanson712 5 лет назад
I would agree!
@DrTraceyMarks
@DrTraceyMarks 5 лет назад
You're so welcome. That's a huge compliment 🙁
@rickguch8350
@rickguch8350 5 лет назад
@@DrTraceyMarks compliment well deserved
@xfesto5734
@xfesto5734 4 года назад
Jaqueline Gusmão Madsen for real!
@LoVe-po7xc
@LoVe-po7xc 4 года назад
Yep she’s dedicated and there are so few professionals like her
@katherinelydon7306
@katherinelydon7306 3 года назад
I have started doing this with anxiety. I start to feel the rise in fear, heart palpitations and I just breathe and accept it and console myself with phrases like it’s just emotion. The acceptance is the best part.
@19111959
@19111959 2 года назад
Absolutely! Also saying to yourself the phrase O came across... " This is anxiety, not reality"... I think can help as well...
@Stormkwiet
@Stormkwiet 9 месяцев назад
👏🏾🙌🏾
@TonyaA7
@TonyaA7 3 месяца назад
I'm gonna have to try this ,cause last few time emotions got the best of me and I was freaking out and wanted to run out the store.. I'm praying and believing for healing and deliverance from all this an it's root causes too. I pray each of you overcome too.😊
@amandaharris108
@amandaharris108 3 года назад
I honestly didn't know that we AREN'T our emotions, I thought our emotions make us who we are.... thank you so much ❤❤
@flaviogarza2376
@flaviogarza2376 2 года назад
No
@lucetteriellabritton20yearsago
@lucetteriellabritton20yearsago 2 года назад
@@flaviogarza2376 ?
@eman-nf4kl
@eman-nf4kl 2 года назад
I took a DBT class a few years ago but I didn't really practice the techniques. I have not been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. A therapist just thought so would benefit from DBT. I don't know if I would benefit from repeating the class or not. Maybe CBT instead?
@pamelapowell4463
@pamelapowell4463 Год назад
Iam getting it understanding satan an my own anger ! It slow progress! I got to exhausted carrying it now!
@atriyakoller136
@atriyakoller136 Год назад
Same. My emotions and reactions have always been my identity and it's actually scary to think otherwise... I don't know what to identify myself as without them
@elsagrace3893
@elsagrace3893 3 года назад
Wow, a psychiatrist that actually knows how humans work. 😍😍😍
@drina4706
@drina4706 5 лет назад
We should not try to get rid of our emotions but rather we need to process them. It's hard though because sometimes they are so strong.
@guntsmith
@guntsmith 5 лет назад
Yes, but each time you confront your emotion the intensity should lessen where it is not so strong. Tolerate the emotion and take comfort knowing it will not be so bad the next time around. Eventually you will not feel that emotion since you dealt with it and resolved it... that's pretty much the process.
@violetlove1893
@violetlove1893 3 года назад
Strong but you ARE stronger
@elsagrace3893
@elsagrace3893 3 года назад
Drink, go get a cuisinart and process the heck out of them. How about acceptance? Emotions are not processed. One needs to learn how to use logic, reasoning and sense of self, knowledge of needs WITH emotions.
@SAMEntalhealth
@SAMEntalhealth 2 года назад
Yup.. then we get comfortable numbing them, hence addiction, letting go is very important.
@SAMEntalhealth
@SAMEntalhealth 2 года назад
They can get so strong yes they drive your physical body to do things
@DaJoAni1
@DaJoAni1 3 года назад
Trauma deprives us of the ability to control emotions and at the same time it is emotions that protect us from trauma. A vicious circle with constant struggle.
@fifiearthwanderer
@fifiearthwanderer 11 месяцев назад
Same here!!! Feeling stuck unable to feel emotions and trying to free myself. Stuck in pain and anxiety
@DaJoAni1
@DaJoAni1 11 месяцев назад
For me, work helps. I always put myself on a path of big goals.
@abdullaalteneiji6533
@abdullaalteneiji6533 8 месяцев назад
Narrative therapy and exposure
@aliceprendergast2693
@aliceprendergast2693 3 года назад
Finally letting go of a toxic relationship and this couldn’t have come at a more perfect time😩😩😩
@victoriamayo5774
@victoriamayo5774 2 года назад
Good to hear ❤️
@SummerLuvinAlai
@SummerLuvinAlai 2 года назад
And how are you doing now?
@asha_vere
@asha_vere 4 года назад
Unprocessed anger being shown through anxiety and depression because they're viewed as more acceptable Damn, that hurt my heart a little bit being called out like that 😅
@peekaboo21284
@peekaboo21284 3 года назад
Wasn't expecting getting accosted! Lol
@vondunspeakable
@vondunspeakable 3 года назад
Well...I guess I need to have a little talk with myself...😬
@sneakerbabeful
@sneakerbabeful 2 года назад
Suck it up.& grow up. Nobody cares about your feelings.
@Metqa
@Metqa 2 года назад
When people would rather you be depressed than appear rude by expressing legitimate emotion.
@Permissi0nSlip
@Permissi0nSlip 9 месяцев назад
⁠@@Metqafacts
@TT-fn1xb
@TT-fn1xb 5 лет назад
'Oh that's a shame, but I'm happy to be alive'. You're too funny Dr Marks.
@DrTraceyMarks
@DrTraceyMarks 5 лет назад
Lol. It’s very unnatural but people say it... 😊
@senaitabraham4337
@senaitabraham4337 4 года назад
Hello dr
@laticeg1088
@laticeg1088 3 года назад
I'm LMAO and she keeps a straight face. It is particularly funny because I have recently lost a job and that is how I tried to respond. Until days later when it hit me like a ton of bricks.
@flaviacotton5029
@flaviacotton5029 3 года назад
People have told me that,be happy you're alive.
@belief7994
@belief7994 2 года назад
Feel like society says this al the time
@petyr33
@petyr33 Год назад
1. Recognise and allow the emotion 5:10 2. Watch 6:10 3. Be present 7:04
@nikkinic2269
@nikkinic2269 6 месяцев назад
I like that she's straight-and-to-the-point! No intro, no music and no begging for subscribers! I love it. ☺
@second5952
@second5952 5 месяцев назад
genuinely a good therapist
@miranx5735
@miranx5735 3 года назад
I suffer from anxiety. I always thought it was mainly due to the fact I was sexually abused as a child, however, after listening to how my unprocessed/repressed anger can manifest as anxiety or depression this makes much more sense!
@patriciamharris5664
@patriciamharris5664 Год назад
Yup!! Same! 💯🙏💕
@pamelapowell4463
@pamelapowell4463 Год назад
Me to went thought the same thing
@kid-ava
@kid-ava Год назад
going through the same thing right now too
@margaretdoliet1630
@margaretdoliet1630 Год назад
Sorry that happens to you guys.
@ShadowRaven66669
@ShadowRaven66669 2 года назад
The first step in dealing with negative emotions is understanding that there is no such thing as "negative" emotions. There are uncomfortable emotions. There are painful emotions. But our emotions serve a purpose and when you associate emotions with being positive or negative, you immediately create a need for avoidance.
@Mushroom321-
@Mushroom321- Год назад
Right!!!, exactly!!!!🎉🎉😮
@theunrulyjoyclub
@theunrulyjoyclub 2 года назад
This was extremely validating. I've journaling my stressors and triggers, noting how I cope and the methods that work best for me, but something was missing. The issue was I was assigning my emotions as "fear-based", when in actuality I was just angry, very angry, but felt bad about being angry. Now I have a new approach to better manage my anger and anxiety.
@breannaflores316
@breannaflores316 Год назад
Yes!!!!!!!!
@magdelineadler4284
@magdelineadler4284 Год назад
Same!
@TheNisiu
@TheNisiu 8 месяцев назад
This is SPOT ON! I've said for the past few years that being raised in the church ruined me emotionally because EVERY SINGLE unhealthy coping mechanism I developed was due to consistently being told that expressing these emotions was something I needed to consistently fast & pray to be delivered from. Needless to say it never worked & it pissed me off when I eventually realized how much damage this kind of conditioning had done to my nervous system that has plagued my my entire adulthood. It stunts your growth and prevents you from developing mature ways to process the emotions & move on. My problem early in life was being too nice, letting people walk over me because what I was taught. Now I have anger issues I struggle to get under control from years of suppression.
@mph1ish
@mph1ish Месяц назад
Hi just wanted to share that although that was your experience, fasting and praying does help me. A lot of psych issues are exacerbated by demons and they flee from those weapons. God bless.
@TheNisiu
@TheNisiu Месяц назад
@@mph1ish I appreciate your input. However, fasting & prayer never worked for me personally. I have a mom who's an evangelist. I've spent MANY many years trying this and it didn't help. Not even a little. But I'm glad it worked for you.
@mph1ish
@mph1ish Месяц назад
@@TheNisiu No, I understand that it didn't work for you. Sometimes our sufferings are meant to help someone else.
@rheaboyd893
@rheaboyd893 4 года назад
😆 My REAL thoughts are... I HATE my boss and I wanna beat 👏🏾him 👏🏾down 👏🏾to 👏🏾the 👏🏾ground! That is so relatable!!!🤣 All kidding aside, excellent video! Thank you, Dr. Marks! 🙂
@DrTraceyMarks
@DrTraceyMarks 4 года назад
You’re welcome Rhea. 😄
@preciousjarrett9322
@preciousjarrett9322 3 года назад
Dr. Tracey Marks I took the news that I was fired and said that’s sad but I’m happy to be alive especially with living with Covid symptoms
@victoriamayo5774
@victoriamayo5774 2 года назад
Dr marks help us stay out of prison 😂❤️
@DJ-wi9yk
@DJ-wi9yk 2 года назад
I was so not expecting that.. haha
@MJ-ji6mv
@MJ-ji6mv 2 года назад
I laughed so hard!!
@RayRay-jw1ei
@RayRay-jw1ei 3 года назад
'But if a bear comes in and bares its teeth at me, I WILL wet my pants and run' - hahaha literally laughed out loud at this bit. Thank you so much for putting the effort in and providing these videos! They're so helpful!
@dcryptospace1284
@dcryptospace1284 2 года назад
Same here!! LOL
@cmargo10
@cmargo10 3 года назад
We've all been told to feel our feelings, not repress them. Finally someone explains HOW to do that safely! Thank you!
@priyaanand9342
@priyaanand9342 3 года назад
Love this explanation! Negative emotions are so rarely talked about. Love how you say unprocessed anger can show up as depression
@starrseed2687
@starrseed2687 2 года назад
So instead I bury my emotions in a pan of brownies and I pick out my eyebrows 🤭it’s like she lives inside my head 😃
@foodie-jv4hv
@foodie-jv4hv 5 лет назад
The feeling of falling in emptiness and never knowing when it's going to end it's like being in prison in your own body.
@kt6852
@kt6852 4 года назад
I can relate. Keep working on good mental health. Let's try some of her activities.
@echase416
@echase416 4 года назад
Have you looked into DBT Skills? There are some peer facilitate Groups on Facebook for learning the core Skills. Come on over!
@BeingBetter
@BeingBetter 4 года назад
Dr Marks I've been to three psychiatrists. You are head ( lovely hair btw) and shoulders above all 3. I feel so bad sometimes, and you are always there on my smartphone. God bless you.
@chinookvalley
@chinookvalley 3 года назад
@@NEbluefire The best face-to-face help I ever got was NOT from a psychiatrist, or psychologist, but from a plain ol' family counselor. Some people know how to listen and interpret, some, no matter the amount of training or note taking ~ might ought to be in a different profession.
@pasitheathanatosasmr488
@pasitheathanatosasmr488 3 года назад
Tracey: I can control myself Tracey: 😏 You’re the best♥️
@newbodytrends
@newbodytrends 2 года назад
"But it's just an emotion, nothing more, nothing less" - Powerful! Once I identify the emotion, watch the emotion and locate it in my body, I then journal out what the subconscious rage is saying in my mind, especially to the other person who I think caused me the anger or upset. I write exactly what I would like to have said to this person that I feel is unjust to me (or fault-worthy or blameworthy). I may not get an opportunity to verbally express my real anger to this person so I write out an "I" statement ending with a statement of what I really needed instead (love, understanding, compassion). Then I release this emotion out of body to my Higher Power and shred my journal write-up as I don't have a reason to hang onto the emotion of that situation or event. Now I can accept that I cannot change the outcome, and begin to problem solve so I can move forward. It's amazing what ideas can present themselves when you have the clarity and confidence to not allow self-defeating behaviour and self-loathing to take over. 💖
@ruamahaine9715
@ruamahaine9715 5 лет назад
"I hate my boss and I wanna beat him down to the ground" me about my professors everyday
@DrTraceyMarks
@DrTraceyMarks 5 лет назад
😊
@annmarieknapp
@annmarieknapp 3 года назад
Don't let a few bad apples ruin education for you. Many of us adore our students.
@queenbee7074
@queenbee7074 2 года назад
Wait till u r in the working world n different levels of managements😂
@lilnarm_smoothblaze
@lilnarm_smoothblaze 5 лет назад
People always say they haven't seen me angry but that's because I suppress I'm glad to know that its not healthy. I'm not going to fight my anger because I know I can control it.
@DrTraceyMarks
@DrTraceyMarks 5 лет назад
That’s great Norman
@stephss
@stephss 2 года назад
I spent years in an unhealthy relationship, repeatedly telling myself my feeling didn't matter. Eventually my body was like..nope. Self talk is natural, and we do it because we are responsible for out bodies health. Please listen to it, and talk it out. It makes a world of difference, and you do matter.💌
@lisapentangelo8497
@lisapentangelo8497 2 года назад
I was never allowed to have emotions as a child. Now I’m showing my emotions and people are having a problem with it. I tell my son that I want him to tell me how he feels. When he has a temper tantrum I tell him I want to know what your feeling. And I tell him I understand. And I know why he’s feeling that way and it’s ok.
@patrickhanson712
@patrickhanson712 5 лет назад
Once again, thank you for your extremely concise language, examples, and relateability. Just yesterday my therapist and I went over a lot of this. A huge boost to my tasks at hand in treatment! So cool, Dr. Marks.
@DrTraceyMarks
@DrTraceyMarks 5 лет назад
You're welcome Patrick. How cool is that that this is falling in line with your treatment? I hope your treatment goes well for you.
@GooseBJJ
@GooseBJJ Год назад
Hey, just wanted to say I watched this video just under two months ago while I was going through a VERY difficult time and it helped me and continues to help me so much. Just thought I'd let you know that your videos are impacting lives. Thank you for doing what you do!
@dxnxtorresx88
@dxnxtorresx88 2 года назад
I was literally my own psychiatrist when I experimented with a psychedelic.This mindfulness strategy is exactly what I experienced, I remember feeling each emotion so intensely, that when I realized I could switch my emotions with different thoughts and ideas, I drastically went through 5 emotions (intense anger, intense sadness, intense compassion, intense happiness, intense laughter)in less than a minute, literally. From that moment on I believe in the Power of Thoughts and so I do my best to fill and surround myself with what I do want to feel and Focus on.
@icalledthevoiditwent2voicemail
I have been using this for dependency and anxiety (seemingly linked for me). When the physical symptoms appear (numbing, shaking, lack of breathing, upbeat heart rate, nausea) I tell myself that this is a response that I've learned, that there is no real danger, and that this will pass soon. This has helped me keep my anxiety down from full blown panic attacks, and I feel like this is a step in the right direction.
@DreamingInTechnicolor
@DreamingInTechnicolor 5 лет назад
I was like, highly doubt this will apply, but I’ll watch out of curiosity. only to hear you say the “I’m happy to be alive” line, that I use on the daily. 😐 solid video. Guess I’ve got some emotional homework to do.
@DrTraceyMarks
@DrTraceyMarks 5 лет назад
Thank you SD. You can still be happy to be alive though Lol 😃
@sebastianrivas6750
@sebastianrivas6750 4 года назад
this was so weird, i been feeling insecure and afraid about some things that i have to accomplish in this moment of my life, and to be honest after watch this video and say outloud the template i couldnt helped but cry a little bit. It was liberating cause i been feeling (on the inside) really ashamed and anxious, but this really kinda works, gives some weird form of energy thanks for the video, greets from Chile
@TheRecoveringCreative
@TheRecoveringCreative 3 года назад
This is so helpful, denying and not recognizing my emotions is definitely a lifelong battle. Will definitely be using these strategies, thank you!
@salvation4095
@salvation4095 3 года назад
Just started to explore psych videos as I begin therapy myself, and I have to say Dr. Marks is the best thing so far. She is clear, concise, and an excellent speaker.
@angelabrown207
@angelabrown207 4 года назад
This was a great video. I get so caught up in my emotions at the time and drown in them with racing thoughts. But learning to dismantle parts and understand them are really helping. God bless you! Thanks
@DrTraceyMarks
@DrTraceyMarks 4 года назад
You’re so welcome
@curiousone6435
@curiousone6435 3 года назад
This is refreshing -- most just want you to move on and to act like your emotions are invalid, like you can turn them on or off as a lightswitch, so whatever you fee and do (or don't do) is a "choice" or an attitude. If you pipe up and point out that you want to accept your feelings and not run away with them, people will encounter that you're asking to be enabled in some unproductive way. That's been my experience, at least. It really complicates my efforts to recover from addiction, as well, which is a form of unhealthy escape. People do not need permission to have feelings, period. They don't need to distract, cover up, lie about them, label them as something different, or placate others -- that simply breeds isolation and unhealthy coping mechanisms. The more you push emotions aside and deny them, the bigger the tsunami will be at some point when a moment of reckoning comes.
@jayday8760
@jayday8760 3 года назад
My therapist uses IFS and EMDR to help understand and process emotions but sometimes listening to your psychological explanations & definitions just anchor me into the analytical side of my brain that wants to keep my stability going no matter what episode I'm in! 😄 thank you for this exercise!
@luciavillamizar186
@luciavillamizar186 3 года назад
Just a few minutes ago I was having an anger/disappointment attack to the point it was hard to breath and I couldn’t get myself together. I decided to go back to this video. I couldn’t remember any of it, but just that you are very clear and concise. After watching it, I am now better, and with the clarity that I can feel anger about a situation without the guilt of it. Though it may seem obvious to some people, for me it was mind blowing to understand that I can have these emotions, and yet, not be a bad person. Thank you for your videos Dr. Marks. I, like many others, finding them helpful and entertaining at the same time.
@KarmasAbutch
@KarmasAbutch 3 года назад
5:45 I wasn’t expecting the 😏 ... that was hilarious in the middle of an otherwise serious video 😂👍
@lylawilson9537
@lylawilson9537 3 года назад
Agreed! 🤣 I love her little subtle and dry funnies she sneaks into her videos 😍
@ianthejillian433
@ianthejillian433 2 года назад
I was just gonna post about that face. it was so on point with "now you know you shouldn't beat up bob" haa love it
@victoriavanwolfen4160
@victoriavanwolfen4160 2 года назад
I know this is older I just wanna say thank you. I've made myself a playlist specifically for when I'm feeling overwhelmed, and your videos are the majority so far. These coping skills DO work for me. It's such a great feeling to be able to care for myself this way. To finally treat myself with compassion and love. Thank you so much, Dr. Tracey!
@julialoustalot3249
@julialoustalot3249 Год назад
I definitely appreciate coming across this video. It’s taught me that it’s ok to feel things with no judgement and the need to keep myself in control.
@miuixtli
@miuixtli Год назад
It's probably a bad sign that I'm picturing myself trying to do these exercises, but I have the screaming voice of my mother telling me to just stop feeling bad/angry/panicked.
@blamethecheerios
@blamethecheerios 5 лет назад
I laughed so hard at “I’m going to bury myself in a pan of brownies and pick out my eyebrows” because that sounds like exactly something I would do 🤣 Thanks for this video, and all the other great videos Dr. Marks! They are helpful to me and my loved ones
@DrTraceyMarks
@DrTraceyMarks 5 лет назад
So great to hear Eric. Thanks for sharing with your loved ones
@judyscheiber3661
@judyscheiber3661 4 года назад
She's very funny and more to the point, she's genuine. She relates and we can to her.
@Lu.J16
@Lu.J16 4 года назад
Lol. 🤣🤣🤣
@priestesspersephone9266
@priestesspersephone9266 4 года назад
Eric yes I agree - hilarious !!!
@aebricker
@aebricker 4 года назад
Eric 💯 meee too! I used to be bulimic and I still pick my eyelashes and eyebrows 😭
@scifibard
@scifibard 2 года назад
Thank you thank you thank you! I've spent so much of my life suppressing any negative emotion and just generally not being allowed to express my emotions to other people, having to be "okay" all the time, knowing that getting angry only leads to bad consequences, etc. I needed to hear this so bad.
@Astrid_Grace
@Astrid_Grace 3 года назад
I just wanted to say how helpful this was for me. I have some BPD symptoms but can’t be sure, haven’t received any diagnoses. When you broke down the steps to mindfulness, I practiced it along with you and immediately felt relief. It really puts the emotions into perspective - honoring them without acting on them. I’m going to print out your template and practice regularly. Thank you!
@valariebrunning6654
@valariebrunning6654 5 лет назад
Omg! The world NEEDS people like you!! Definitely do not hear this incredibly helpful guidance in the “biblical counseling” at church. All you hear is “take your thoughts captive” and “probably need to confess something.” This is what people actually need. Thank you.
@DrTraceyMarks
@DrTraceyMarks 5 лет назад
Your so welcome. 😊
@non952
@non952 2 года назад
I got tears in my eyes when I watch your video, you say things that I really needed to ear. Thank you.
@ahleesi
@ahleesi 2 года назад
I’ve received more actionable steps to help mitigate my anxiety and depression in your videos than all therapy I’ve received. Thank you.
@mercedezlopez3662
@mercedezlopez3662 2 года назад
Thank you, it’s very important that I heard this from someone who knows how to explain mental health, but also without judgement. I thank you kindly ❤️
@Tamara-ju3lh
@Tamara-ju3lh 3 года назад
Thank you for this. Not a lot of therapists and doctors bring up self-harm as a coping mechanism, and even if they do they don't really tell you how to deal with it. I have heard of the "allow yourself to feel your emotions" but it is so hard to do! You gave me a good template to use the next time I'm overwhelmed.
@chadwickwhall
@chadwickwhall 4 года назад
I’m working through this with my therapist now. It’s helpful to hear it in different words (and in portable form!). I just wanted to say thank you. Much love ❤️
@korizzono52
@korizzono52 3 года назад
Dr. Tracy Please don't ever stop doing this, you've helped me so much & I know many others!
@richardgrier8968
@richardgrier8968 2 года назад
There need to be more therapists like you. You are so good. I’ve never met a therapist as knowledgeable as you seem to be from your videos.
@Peachcreekmedia
@Peachcreekmedia 3 года назад
OMG this excercise was amazing. I finally got back to baseline! I haven't been able to get here for years!
@violetlove1893
@violetlove1893 3 года назад
I've never heard of this before. Thank you for being such a great dr and person.
@paolabucchi227
@paolabucchi227 2 года назад
You're a big help when a person needs it most. Many thanks, Dr. Marks and Bless you.
@latinangel3470
@latinangel3470 2 года назад
“I am Not my Emotions”. Thank you for sharing this important message.
@moniques1377
@moniques1377 2 года назад
Wow!!! I have a huge problem with anger (that I've been recently thinking I need to start addressing head-on), and this is probably the most helpful thing I've ever heard! Thank you sooooo much for this video 💜💜💜💜💜💜 Your videos are clear, concise, practical, and most importantly, down-to-earth 💜💜💜
@hypercube8792
@hypercube8792 3 года назад
I found this video exactly when I needed it. I was raised to believe anger was not acceptable in a woman but anxiety and sadness were. I went on RU-vid to escape the anxiety I’m feeling (avoidance). But as I was watching I realized I’m not nervous, I’m angry. It’s easier to process the emotion now that I can name it. I’m gunna work on the coping skills you mentioned to ride this wave. Thanks!
@abbykoop5363
@abbykoop5363 3 года назад
This is a great description of what to do! I did learn through a therapist that what I think in my mind is OK...as long as I don't act on it. I had struggled with that idea that I was "bad" for thinking those thoughts. Your video expanded on how to really deal with that emotion. Very helpful. Thanks.
@frankjdm4636
@frankjdm4636 3 года назад
Thank you for helping me get through my Anxiety and Panic Attacks and Negative thinking and all my worries. You are making a difference and I appreciate you so much Dr. Tracey ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@blessedandrich
@blessedandrich 4 года назад
Talk about detaching from negative emotions 🙌🏼 This is the kind of therapy I really need. Real actual sessions like this. Thank you for this videos.
@attheranch4876
@attheranch4876 Год назад
This is valuable advice. My therapist coached me on doing these things over 30 years ago, and they work!!!
@kaylynbarajas6380
@kaylynbarajas6380 Год назад
I really appreciate you plugging past videos at the end of current videos. It’s nice to get answers to new questions
@dimpy3442
@dimpy3442 2 года назад
I hope you know how important and life saving your work is. I am in emotional distress and I do not have access to a therapist or anyone to teach me how to cope with my emotions right now. You just saved me and showed me how to cope. With the tools you provide, I do not have to numb myself again to make the pain go away. Thank you. For actual tools/methods and not just another preachy video about "controlling" your emotions that makes you feel guilty to feel any negative emotion in the first place. No seriously there's a lot of bs on youtube. I'm really grateful to find a video from an actual therapist providing real answers for my mental health issues. Thank you. You're the best.
@limusw1
@limusw1 2 года назад
Dr. Marks, you are an angel sent from heaven. You are saving so many lives, myself included. I can't thank you enough. I use your advice every day, especially this video. You just have a way of smoothing life out mentally for me.
@cv8452
@cv8452 3 года назад
I just discovered your channel as I’m working through my highway driving agoraphobia. I wish I was taught about emotions when I was younger. I think I internalized so many emotions that have resulted in some of my anxieties. I’m thankful that I’m seeking knowledge so that I can better understand myself. Thanks so much for sharing this information.
@patriciamharris5664
@patriciamharris5664 Год назад
🙏💕
@heathernunya7836
@heathernunya7836 Год назад
I love this! Especially at the end I feel you’re saying you can control these feelings/emotions by making yourself aware of them. Once you’re aware of negative feelings/emotions then you can acknowledge them and choose (control) how you respond/react to them. I love the idea of being able to have control when all my life I’ve lost control with my emotions. It really is that simple- we DO have control and that means we don’t have to be a slave to our emotions. I’m crying right now. This was a breakthrough for me! I’ll be 49 in July. It almost makes me want to laugh at how silly it sounds- it sounds too simple to think- you CAN control your emotions. But it IS that simple. Yes these emotions come up but you don’t have to let it ruin your day or life. I can treat them as an outside force like a friend or a foe. And if I like the way it makes me feel (friend) then I can choose to spend more time with that friend and rejoice that I have this friend (positive emotion) and vow to make that friend my bestie and spend more time with them (haha) and If I don’t like the way this other outside entity (feeling/emotion but I’m using a person to portray that) makes me feel then I can say “oh it’s YOU again, well I don’t really like you- we have nothing in common and you’re always a Debbie Downer and I would rather be around happy people. But I’m also aware that not everything is all about me. Let’s make a deal. I’ll be nice and sit with you a minute- perhaps ask why you’re always so Debbie Downer-ish and help you get out of this rut. But there is a time limit each time. I can’t be around you too long or I’ll be sucked into the negativity. I’ll give a pep talk and then you’re on your own.
@sophialagonikos700
@sophialagonikos700 Год назад
Great video - from someone who is super sensitive and only realised recently how much I feel - I’ve started doing these practices and instead of downward spiralling into them and suffering longer, I acknowledge them, feel them and they pass way quicker. I also have stronger boundaries and I’m always tuned into how I’m feeling which means I don’t take on emotions around me, like I used to. Not driven by my emotions is something I didn’t realise was possible, I used to get so caught up in them and the story around them which made my life feel like a rollercoaster. Grateful to have more awareness of myself and how to manage my internal world, and the understanding that there’s nothing wrong with me.
@stephaniemodkins4624
@stephaniemodkins4624 2 года назад
I wanted to tell you that I had a breast cancer scare in April. Your videos helped me calm down and go through the process with less fear. I had a biopsy and found out all was okay and the wait was much better because of the information you share.
@lauradavenport8199
@lauradavenport8199 5 лет назад
Thank you! This was a great video and helped me discover the root of my depression. I have a lot of anger that I do not know how to express and it has caused me a lifetime of depression. I hope that this will give me success in learning how to manage that emotion in a way that is healthy
@DrTraceyMarks
@DrTraceyMarks 5 лет назад
You're welcome Laura. I'll have more on this topic.
@stephaniemodkins4624
@stephaniemodkins4624 2 года назад
Thank you so much for this video. I just finished DBT group therapy a month ago. It helped me realize how much fear and anger I have. Currently, I am working on not trying to suppress these feelings and understanding they are just that - feelings. I am definitely going to use your template. God Bless!
@birdyyy4836
@birdyyy4836 Год назад
I'm really struggling with bulimia and BED and I've about had it. Thank you so much for showing us how to deal with our emotions and not turn to self-depreciating coping mechanisms! I'm definitely gonna give this a try!
@LavidaLauren
@LavidaLauren 4 года назад
Thank you Dr. Marks! I downloaded the emotion cards and it is so helpful because I realize that I have suppressed or not acknowledged the emotions that are not in the Happy card. I am a people-pleaser and always wanted to keep all the love ones around me happy. I thought it meant that if my emotions are not positive, I should avoid it, have mental strength to control it, suppress it, not let it propagate to someone else. And if I can't avoid it, I beat myself up over it. I have been dealing with the consequences of that habit. Thank you for showing me that feeling what I feel is just fine.
@SweetStuffOnMonarchLane
@SweetStuffOnMonarchLane 3 года назад
Wow, that sounds like my childhood. That really gets me thinking, thank you.
@carolynroth7373
@carolynroth7373 4 года назад
Thank you so much for this video. I learned this technique over a decade ago, but a recent concussion robbed me of it. I have been loosing myself alot. This video saved me, i now remember. And the more i think about it , the memories and abilities get clear and more clarity is regained. Thank you , you saved me from my private prison. Truth be told, i wasnt to far from the " fine' "
@Catlily5
@Catlily5 3 года назад
I have learned this also. It is a good reminder.
@bethanyengie
@bethanyengie 2 года назад
Thank you so much for caring enough to do this. Which I could have had this years ago. Myself and my life and my family have been filled with constant turmoil and disorders my whole life and even now. Riddled with what I believe is everything from autism, depression, ADHD, to narcissism, my dad to day life is everything short of suicide. It's hard to stay anchored with constant chaos and trying to pretend I'm the same one to keep all the others sane in an environment of constant selfishness and strife....God help me. Thank you again because I cannot remember any of this when my rage is in motion. I need to be able to hear it. For free. Thank you. Prayers for you and everyone else who watches you or hasn't found you yet.
@iKurenaiii
@iKurenaiii 2 года назад
Spent an hour taking notes, this covers all of it in 10 minutes, well done
@reginyra8401
@reginyra8401 2 года назад
Thank you I needed this. I have PTSD, dealt with about 25 years of abuse. Anger is an emotion I have struggled with. How do you feel it, can I even get angry? etc. When I get angry I ended up crying instead, like you mentioned I have severe anxiety and depression. I'm on the healing process, but recognize this is going to be a long process.
@luck484
@luck484 4 месяца назад
I am sorry that you experienced the abuse. I am encouraged by how you express yourself. I am guessing that describing yourself with the words "I'm on the healing process" could be reframed to acknowledge how much work you have done.
@reginyra8401
@reginyra8401 4 месяца назад
@@luck484 Thank you. and you are right, I do need to acknowledge how far I've come more.
@rachaelpike4964
@rachaelpike4964 3 года назад
I just found your page. Thank you so much for your content. After this dumpster fire of a year and so many other life changes, I realized I have been just in survival mode and since a few big life events have passed (and the election!) all of these painful emotions are surfacing and I am trying to figure them out. "I'm going to make space for it and I am not going to be afraid of it." I'm going to need to spend some quality time with your videos and my journal!
@mwall2wall
@mwall2wall 3 года назад
I discovered these videos because of my research on PMDD. Thank you for the clear and relatable answers to questions that plague so many.
@carlenedean8382
@carlenedean8382 2 года назад
I'm pretty sure most of us of a certain age were raised without our emotions being validated/ having been told "aww, you're not angry" when we were indeed pissed. She gives awesome advice and I learned a few things. Going to listen to her more!!
@angelarubio6094
@angelarubio6094 Год назад
Eres potente, generosa y nutricia. Me ha enriquecido mucho este video! Un abrazo con el mismo cariño.
@Masoneuler
@Masoneuler Год назад
"I hate my boss and I want to beat him down to the ground!" I have been watching a lot of your videos. Thank you for your help.
@hparamesh
@hparamesh 4 года назад
Thanks for rehashing this. This is exactly what my therapist told me. She told me not to fight the feelings. She told me not to fight for curing it. I gave up on trying to cure it.
@jeoluntayan5626
@jeoluntayan5626 11 месяцев назад
I keep coming back to your videos. Honestly thanks Dr. You have my deepest gratitude
@SheilaR.08
@SheilaR.08 5 лет назад
This is so timely for me. Thank you so much for doing these videos. I've only recently discovered your channel, but you're already a lifeline for me. ❤
@AmazingAmaiya
@AmazingAmaiya 5 лет назад
Dr. Marks is so amazing! Total game changer watching her every week.
@patrickhanson712
@patrickhanson712 4 года назад
Agree. She's just so relatable, combined with being an expert in mental health is what makes her so good.
@zak-a-roo264
@zak-a-roo264 2 года назад
I love the wave analogy, as a surfer we go.from riding the best wave ever to wiping out and literally end up fighting for our lives , nearly drownjng . Dealing with that emotional shock is part of surfing larger waves , you MUST let it all go to survive. EMDR has helped a couple friends that have had bad near drowning experiences.
@anamiakeelypadilla1960
@anamiakeelypadilla1960 Год назад
Thank you so much, Dr. Marks! I come back to this video when I am struggling with distressing emotions for a reminder. Your kind and calm manner is so soothing. Appreciate all the wonderful insights you share with us ❤
@raamizeineddine8384
@raamizeineddine8384 2 года назад
This is literally life changing advice…. Thank you so much I love you 😭
@knithappy
@knithappy 5 лет назад
You have helped me so much and I so appreciate your videos!!!
@DrTraceyMarks
@DrTraceyMarks 5 лет назад
You’re welcome Sandra 😊
@jeremeymcmillan4575
@jeremeymcmillan4575 4 года назад
Thanks so much, doc. I’m binge-watching during the quarantine👍🏽 I had so many demons this morning and your name came across my mind.
@josephinegibson1008
@josephinegibson1008 3 года назад
Thanks for being there when these feelings arise.
@ralphlouis2705
@ralphlouis2705 2 года назад
Anytime I watch your videos and you give instances to solving problems once I try it out I always get this inner joy which is peaceful
@pocoeagle2
@pocoeagle2 5 лет назад
Brilliant video. Thank you so much Dr. Marks!
@DrTraceyMarks
@DrTraceyMarks 5 лет назад
You’re welcome. Thank you 😊
@rayanddenisemckinney1038
@rayanddenisemckinney1038 4 года назад
I can see this combined w EFT as being super effective. Thank you.
@sgartistry333
@sgartistry333 10 месяцев назад
I appreciate your scripts and your templates sooooo much! Thank you 🤎✨
@samnuck
@samnuck 3 года назад
Dr Marks...thank you for posting videos such as these. You have changed my life in more ways than I will ever be able to thank you for on my own. Thank you!
@KC-zb9qd
@KC-zb9qd 5 лет назад
Wow this was so useful and practical. I would love more videos like this!
@DrTraceyMarks
@DrTraceyMarks 5 лет назад
Thanks KC. I plan to make more.
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