Offering to split the bill is not feminine. I just say thank you and show appreciation. I find it stupid the offer if we’re going to be offended when it back fires.
That’s not the way Fareen said it! Sounds like you took it out of context. She meant it as act of kindness. Like how do you go out with a stranger on a first date, and not offer to pay, that just sounds so entitled. And what Fareen said is that if he takes up on the offer, it just means that he is not the one. I don’t think there’s anything to be offended about that. It just means you pay the 50% and move on! “Offended” will only be there if you were already having some expectations from the men that you barely know. I wonder what happens to act of kindness with us😊
@cashmere85 yes… offering is always the kind thing to do. I’ve never met a man that actually takes a woman up on that offer. However, it does show a man that the woman is not entitled. Thank you for this comment.
@@cashmere85 I love your input so much! That’s exactly what I got out of the video as well! This is the best advice EVER that Fareen shared and that I have ever received on the question of paying in the first date! We need to LISTEN to what Fareen is really saying! I SO love you and your teachings, Fareen! 🙏🙏🙏
@@fareenashofficial I agree with what you were saying, a different way to say is 'inspiring respect' - from they way you respect yourself, your behavior, etc. Didn't literally mean walking into a room and verbally commanding respect. Appreciate your work, thank you!
This video gave me total reassurance about a guy that "likes me" but it not ready for a woman like me. I kept letting him be who he was and he showed his cards just as you said. SO much wisdom in this. thanks Fareen!
@@fareenashofficial thank you for that. I’m wise but still pretty wounded, so it wasn’t an easy pill to swallow. We never even touched or dated but my ego was fighting wishing we were together. My spirit knew from the beginning this person wasn’t for me, and months later…I’m finally okay with it…
Girl please.. when I spend the time I do to "show up" as a TEN..I absolutely expect him to choose an Amazing restaurant and pay the bill. Yep..sure do. Otherwise he can take you for coffee.
You are an extremely wise and beautiful soul. Thankyou for helping me to be the best version of my feminine self. You are a high value woman who deserves the best. ❤🌻
These beautiful comments really make me feel so good! Thank you so much for taking the time to appreciate me and the work I do! I really appreciate you and all of you that take the time out to support me and my work in helping other women remember who they are 🤍🤍
Excellent content, I love your holistic approach, which makes you unique in the sea of today's coaches. I have never been on a date with a person I have not met before. I would appreciate it if you made a video specifically about dating culture, what to expect on the first date and every subsequent one. When dating is a waste of time and what are some of the signs of any commitment from a man where we can stop with rotation and exchange maybe a kiss and light touching. 😄🙏❤️💕
Thanks Fareen. These videos are priceless. So glad I found you. I’m going to buy one of your books until I can afford the course. You’re kind of a godsend 🙏🙏❤️🙋♀️
When a man wants a committment? 1. it’s not when he meets a great woman ( he may have met lots of great women), but when he thinks he’s done with playing around and competing with his male friends on the number of chicks he has taken to bed. Every man has a certain age in mind by which he wants to stop playing around and get married. 2. when his male friends are getting married and he feels the pressure and has an incentive to get married otherwise he will end up alone amongst his married male friends (it’s about competing with his male friends, as well). So if you are a woman, and if you are at the point in life when you want to get married, ask him on the first date: with what intention are you dating: just for fun or to settle down. If he tells you something that suggest he doesn’t want or appreciate being in a committed relationship at this point in time, no matter how handsome he is, say that you are in that case not a match because at this point in time you want a committed relationship. Some men think that being single is superior to being married, some not. If you are not on the same page, walk away and keep looking for a man who wants the same thing as you
Dear Fareen, just want to say what a beautiful message you gave in this video. You shared some very powerful and wise insights into how an elegant and self respecting woman would carry herself in dating. Your advise is not commonly shared everywhere. Splitting bills is talked about by many people, but you went the extra mile to talk about how a woman carries herself in such situation. Thank you
Such a great video 📹 👏 ❤️ and you look great as always ❤ Such a good reminder to stay humble and grateful throughout dating. Rather than getting caught up in our heads and "shoulds" like "he should pay" etc, focusing back to our own energy
The title of this video alone made me bust out laughing 😂 This is something I actually do struggle with though so Good Topic, I go from 2 extremes of being a push over to snapping on a man when I finally had enough of disrespect and end up looking psycho lol
Well said on all of the above! Especially the coffee date comment. I always prefer a coffee date over dinner because what IF I don’t want to sit there with him that long?
@@KevonnieElaine who sits around for 2hours eating lol. I'm done in 10min. I think if you're there for 2hrs it's because the vibe is right and you've lost track of time, wether it be with friends or on a date. If it's not, get ur free dinner and bounce. Half hour tops..the time it takes to order it, recieve it, and 10min to eat. Nobody says you have to be there even an hour. How long does it take yall to eat?? The real problem is you don't want to come off as rude. Yall think for some reason a dinner date automatically means 2hours. No. Just. No.
@@user_abcxyzz Wait… what type of food are we talking about here? Fast food? I don’t eat fast food… also, don’t care for the “free dinner” anyway - I prefer cooking at home if it’s not going to be a restaurant that is at least worth it to me to go to, alone or on a date!
Oh another thing i really appreciated here is that It's not our responsibility to see the man's weakness, and to then try to heal or comfort it or "prove ourselves" 👀 That's new to me 😄
@@fareenashofficial ah the 50/50 guy! Who was probably jilted because his former partner didn't contribute and now he messed it up by demanding that 🤣 I thought it was very interesting because he seemed so "high value" otherwise, that you were still secure enough to walk away ❤ Instead of going "oh but I'm not like her, i can prove it!" Or "i can heal this negative view you have" (which resonates with my older mindset tbh🙈) Which is... Also kinda ego minded, now that i think about it right? 👀 And i guess.. His high valueness was sadly then not really very profound either! I'm glad you walked away! And I'm very happy you shared this example with us 😄❤ i hope i learned the right lessons 👀🙏😄 Thank you !
You can offer to leave the waiter a tip if you're uncomfortable with paying half. This is still contributing. Also, arriving with a small gift like a beautiful flower🌹is a great gesture that shows appreciation. It also leaves the man or woman with something to remember you and the diiner date.
I love the tip idea! No to everything else especially flowers 🙈🙈🙈🙈 I love love love the energy behind what you’re saying tho and completely resonate 🤍🤍
Thank you for breaking down the energy behind this question Fareen, I can see myself doing the same 🙈 Not having expectations and not telling men how to be on first dates super helpful as well, very powerful video, you look amazing, thanks so much 💕💕💕
Respect comes from having energetic boundaries. You must know within yourself what you are not available for. Thats why some people can just feel and think to themselves “she’s not the one to play with.” 🫣 The energy of a manager is completely different from an employee let alone the Owner of the company. Close your eyes and feel the difference between those 3 dynamics. 9/10 those different dynamics carry themselves differently.
Another way to look at it >> a man has to meet the requirements to be in thr provider spot in your life. It's something he earns through displays of his character over time. Demanding he provide up front doesn't give you time to decide if he should even be in that position in your life
I agree with everything you say Fareen! I usually say "would you like to split?" But I like yours better "can I help you with that?" It does sound more feminine
I haven't watched the video yet, but this is a great question because when they test you, if you say anything, you'll seem like you're over reacting. It's usually small stuff (in the beginning) and if you say something often the guy is like, "It's a joke."
@@fareenashofficial Yes. I agree. When we first meet someone, how they act has nothing to do with us. Just observe and remove yourself if that person acts inappropriately. That date you went on with the guy who spoke of other women's body parts is a good example.
Hi Fareen, I have a question. I had a man very eagerly pursuing me. I met him for coffee for an intro and then he took me out for dinner a week later. At the end of the dinner date he asked if he could kiss me and it caught me off guard. I answered no no no no very softly and said I am very shy with my body- but the next day he texted me good morning and I never heard from him again after that. I could tell he was a little off balance so I wasn’t too upset that he disappeared. I would like to know the best way to reject physical advances. How to do it gently
I love the way you approached this! Have you read “what men want” yet? I get into this specifically as well as much much more! I think you’ll find it very helpful. Also the way in which I approach these situations
Your videos as a whole have really helped me so much in releasing control of outcome etc ❤ it takes work, but omg it's worth it! Taking space away from the man is so helpful to do the inner work needed as well without a clouded mind
Got that 3:31 right. I’m gonna do this that or the other… bla bla bla… Then act offended by not having more context or conversation…. What needs to be said at that point , conclusion already reached.
I would offer and t's fine if he says he wants to pay the whole thing. The only caveat to that would be if you didn't want to go on a second date. Then it might be better to insist you pay for yourself, since some guys can get a bit funny about paying for you and you not wanting to see them again, and also because you're not going to have a second date in which you could cover the bill in return. It is graceful and kind ❤🔆
Hihihi Fareen! I love how you phrase it!! "Do you need help with that?" 😁👏 Brilliant🤭 please allow me to use it too! DeMANding respect, that's showing up in your masculine and ego. Love that! I love also that you say, we show our state of consciousness in the way we show up And there's no hiding or faking energy... And it's always empowering to look at the self first! Sweetie, thank you so much for these messages ❤❤❤😍 so if i understood correctly, all you have to do is show up in your healthy energy and trust? That... Is a huge weight off my shoulders, tbh Btw, i love your outfit and earrings, so cute and pretty you are always! 💕💕 Love you!
Yes this is exactly how we want to word it! And you hit the nail on the head with all your remarks here! Yes… the more healing we do, the more we show up as our true essence 😍😍
@@fareenashofficial ohh thank you so much for responding to me sweetie! 🥰🥰 Wonderful and good to know! It's a responsibility with clear boundaries, okay. Nothing we can't handle, and everything else is taking on too much! It's hard work but we can do hard things! Fareen I'm so grateful and happy you give us our power back, and kindly remind us that we have it! Really, you're like a wise sister or bestie to all of us right now ❤❤❤ both, hihi I will forever love you for the messages you share! And you're very welcome! Seeing you show up for us is like a ray of sunshine on a rainy day! 🎈💕
First of all if he's trying to test me to see what he can get away with, i would not even date him. I want a man of integrity, who respects me without me having to set boundaries.
Ppl aren't mind readers. You will still need to communicate boundaries because people grow up differently and may think something they're doing is OK when In fact you may feel it's not. A relationship is 90% communication
Again great video, you're absolutely right, if he's not the one just say, no thanks. If the guy after a date would text and asks why you didn't want to see him anymore, would you explaine? Let's say the guy you dated that was talking about all these other woman
50/50 paying for masculine-feminine balance needs an explanation. Basically, a man should have his own bank account, and a woman should have her own account. As far as household bills are concerned, it’s only fair that each of them should contribute equally.
What if a masculine man expresses interest in a feminine woman, and vice versa, but then whilst still in a flirting stage the man waits and drops hints for the woman to step up, I wonder? Why is he doing that?
I'll answer this. She's right in the sense that you're not there to help him or correct him. You cannot ask him to stop looking obtusely at other Women. If he's doing that on the date with you then you are simply not enchanting or physically pleasing enough to keep his interest and he's just that rude that he can't control his attention span,Then you must remove yourself from the situation. Just leave, excuse ypurself and...run to your car, get in the car and go. That's it. I know it's abrupt but you need yourself from the situation di that you can return to a place if peace. Really.
When I know I want a provider man, y wud I waste my time on someone who is not. I’d say, I don’t drink coffee n it’s true. He is inviting me few times, offering to pick n drop me. Then only I meet, I’m in receiving mode. I’d appreciate his providing. But I never fake offer to pay. I don’t expect myself to be in d frequency of non providing men.
This is an honest question. I just met this guy and we were both very honest about anything from the beginning. We both enjoy talking a lot and can talk about anything as well as set healthy boundaries. In your opinion do you think we'd have a healthy relationship or is it strange that we both enjoy talking so much? It doesn't feel like an unhealthy attachment because we can give each other space if one needs it. I've had unhealthy attachments before and this situation doesn't seem like that. We just get along so well and are very understanding of one another.
Coffee dates are for “convenient cool girls.” Girl that say I don’t want to sit through a dinner I’d rather do a 30 minute coffee date. Then wonder how they ended up in a 50/50, barb the builder relationship.
Nothing wrong with cheap dates! You are getting to know people you’re not there for the trimmings! Unless you’re looking for a sugar daddy!! There are men who like to make grand gestures - maybe that’s how they roll but be careful when men ‘love bomb’! On the point of men looking at women; unless they are ogling at other women, I think it’s pretty normal - hetero women look at other attractive women - it’s just normal!
@@fareenashofficial just noticing another women. Like for example I even noticed and looked at a woman who had a very plump backside. Haha I glanced and I know he did too so I think this is nothing to get mad about?
How do you care for a man and provide value for him? I don’t have siblings and I don’t have much practice caring for someone else with warmth or whatever men like. Tips?
Lol...if he asked me out again I would say I don't believe I'm ur one and have captured ur attention, because I noticed other women passing by captured ur attention. I'm looking for the one who has eyes for me only. I could care less where he takes me...sometimes the dives have the best food and fun!
How do you express you seek commitment and not to just continue dating if initially we’ve (him and I) have already said that we are trying to see where this would go .its been a few months(we’ve been apart in different countries for about3 months )of seeing each other and he seems to like me genuinely .his work like is hectic and is very demanding but I see the effort he puts in to try and maintain a connection and see me as much as he possibly can .How ever , communication over the phone isn’t consistent . What do I do ?
If a man invites you out he should pay the bill. Coffee, cinema, dinner whatever. If a woman asks a man out she should pay! She’s being the man. I think it’s rude for men to ask an attractive woman out (if they ask her they must think she’s attractive) and then ask her to pay. I always offer to pay but if he accepts I realise he’s not worth my time. Then I’m off on next date. Why waste time with men who aren’t providers? Even as a multi millionaire a man who asks you out should pay. A coffee costs £3. You can’t pay that then stay single sort out your finances THEN date. And not before that.
Fareen how do you feel if your man if 6 years has all of a sudden started showing signs of toxic masculinity behaviors. For example he’s in this kinda arrogant stage in his life he’s proud of himself and so he’s now kinda demanding more respect but it’s coming off as dominant which I do not like but I do love him And it seems like a phase. It’s very weird. He has apologized for this and I’m also hearing rumors swirling about him shopping for a ring recently… very confusing to me. Please let me know your input or if I should email you!
I would definitely need to speak or need to know more - yes definitely book a call or email question and give me as much detail as possible and I’ll advice you then 🤍. The links are in the description
What makes a woman like a man? Is it based on authentic masculinity? It seems one thing can turn a woman off without the man realizing what it was. But it seems the best way to avoid this is being your authentic masculine self
Hi Fareen. Your videos include good advice; however, I've noticed that you sometimes put it all on women and make it sound like there is no onus on men. For example, in this video, you said "a man could be one way with one woman and another way with another woman". I understand where you might be coming from or how there could be some truth to this. But where is the responsibility for a man or humans in general to be kind and respectful to each other? A man who respects women selectively is not who I want to personally be with. I like and agree with how you explained it later. My disagreement with some of the language. Cheers!
I’m here to teach women how to be attractive to men. I absolutely agree that men should be kind. A lot of what I say can be inverted between the sexes. Also, I don’t focus on language or words as that is second to my energy. I hope this helps 🤍
It's rare when a person is kind to everyone, with the same energy. Humans are biased/selective by nature. We often treat things better, that we find attractive. Halo effect. In this busy fast paced life, most ppl only stop and pay attention to what they notice and usually that's the person or thing that they are attracted to. Everything else is noise. If you capture someone's attention it's almost garenteed that you will know. Learn to read body language
Your advice is good. However, the HV men you are talking about hardly exist. I’ve been dating for eight years. And trust me When I say I have done the work and it’s actually made me very lonely because of all these standards that I have put in place. No modern day good man is going to wait 10 dates before you sleep with him. No one’s worth that nonsense. But if it worked for you than you are the exception, not the rule. I’d rather be happy then lonely, but now I don’t think I can find my happiness because dating and relationships have become complicated for men and women. To the point where nobody wants to put the effort in anymore, and have given up.
What do you guys think when a guy comes ten minutes too late on a date? I didn’t care that much because it was so casual and he doesn’t mean yet anything much to me. But sometimes I think it’s actually not a good sign🥲
