How to exude QUIET Confidence With The "No RESISTANCE" Strategy

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Script:
In this video I am going to explain to you guys the “no resistance” strategy and how it can benefit you as a woman in dating and relationships.
There is a valuable lesson we can learn from that, and I know it because I got a chance to apply this strategy in my own relationship.
In the course of any relationship, there will be moments of doubts, moments of hesitation, of thinking the grass is greener elsewhere, moments where you partner may think “I can do better” or “I am not that happy”,
and the natural, almost instinctive, way most people who are on the receiving end react to these moments is, by not accepting and resisting, and by trying to changes the other person’s mind.
And because these people are emotionally involved, they are usually blind to the fact that the more they resist, the greater the persistence and determination of the other person to do exactly what they want.
This phenomena is well captured by this incredible quote by Carl Yung “what you resist persists” which to me applies to both internal resistance as well as resistance to external circumstances such as someone who wants to break up with you.
And that is the valuable lesson I want you guys to get, which is that the best course of action when you are faced with someone who wants to leave you, or wants a break from your relationship, is to not resist it and let it be, even though it is counterintuitive and very painful.

Опубликовано:

25 авг 2022

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Комментарии : 119

@felicitygrace5113 Год назад

Happily ever after is with yourself. Anything else is extra happy

@mariyamarshad4836 2 месяца назад

With God lies Ultimate Happily ever after

@glowwithsandra Год назад

I did that with my ex, and he later admitted the he wasn't expecting me to act so calm and unbothered. In reality I wasn't expecting to be broken up with as our relationship was fantastic he treated me like a princess . Even though I was sad and surprised. I accepted it with grace because I know that thats how high value woman that knows her value acts. I also told myself an even better man is coming.My mantra is I keep my crown no matter the circumstance.

@anacastaneda6960 Год назад

One of my mantras is "Say yes to everything, but do whatever you want" meaning don't argue, don't fight back, just stay cool, agree, and then go do your thing.

@mmegane5808 Год назад

I didn’t know this had a name. I met a guy recently and got to know him for a month and realized we were not compatible. He is a great person nonetheless and I proposed for us to maintain a friendship and he said no, so all I said was “I understand”. He left me on read 😂. One week later, he backtracked. One thing I learned is that as a woman, when you think with your brain, men tend to be the ones who become emotional.

@lemmesay 2 года назад

If they're leaving you once they will leave again. Once they leave, shut that door, no "no resistance" no nothing. Shut that door.

@digitalbrandingservice7056 Год назад

why

@cheeky5187 Год назад

@@digitalbrandingservice7056 I gave someone the second chance. He left me again and it hit me even harder this second time. That's why

@tinashe9967 Год назад

@@cheeky5187 same happened to me. It's true when they say, "never let a man tell you twice that he doesn't want you". The second time I was completely shattered to pieces and it's been a year and I'm still recovering from it.

@cheeky5187 Год назад

@@tinashe9967 yeah, me too, I feel you. It's been like half a year now and I still feel so lost sometimes. But we're gonna make it Girl 💪🏻 at least we're smarter now, for the future 💗

@zarahm.3638 Год назад

@@cheeky5187 Same here, the first time it was cruel . I opened my heart again with trust..He left again and even harder, he played games, exactly the same as once. I was loyal but now and in future I come first.

@basicinfo2022 2 года назад

When they treat you like a revolving door coming in and out of your life like nothing happened, its emotional abuse and stress. Slam that door shut on such toxic men. You are not someones dusty sons door mat to be walked all over. Fix your crown.

@Theblackswan55 2 года назад

Of course. This is not meant to be used with someone who is in and out of a relationship. Only exceptionally when you are in a good relationship and they start having doubts or wanting to leave...that's when you do not resist...and if they go, it is then up to you not to take them back. The video talked only about the first part. Thanks for your contribution.

@basicinfo2022 2 года назад

@@Theblackswan55 i agree! that is the best and most dignified way. i was just saying if it becomes a pattern then its abuse.

@Theblackswan55 2 года назад

Absolutely

@AvAG1923 2 года назад

YES!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

@user-we6qz2ic9k Год назад

Wonderful & V wise .. Thank uuuuu

@ShelbySteele23 Год назад

My husband is a slob and he recently tried to gaslight me and tell that I if I really loved him him I would just leave him alone about it and just let him be himself. He went as far to suggest that we get separate places since I can't stand living with him. So when I agreed and told him I would start looking for an apartment for myself I could see his soul leave his body 🤣. He immediately began to backtrack and apologize and profess his love for me and our home blah blah blah. But I took the opportunity to let him know that I have seriously considered divorcing him over his messiness and not to tempt me with threats like that. I love him and he's overall a great, husband, father and companion but he makes me want to move into a hotel I swear

@cleopatrajones7096 Год назад

I’ve allowed each guy in the last 10 years to reject me. And I say, great! It always works out for me. This creates usually hostility and the man getting very angry because I’m not upset. It’s weird and confusing. And it appears to be a game when a man breaks up with me when in reality he wants me to beg him to stay. Which I don’t. I usually can’t stand most of them. Good riddance. The reaction, is what’s most interesting to me: hostility and anger.

@vhayashi7369 Год назад

It's because they get off on hurting us and making us suffer because a lot of them hate women. You're awesome to react with happiness! That's brilliant! Love it! 😂😂😂

@mishelmuriuki4495 Год назад

@@vhayashi7369 I was taught that when a man approaches me it means he likes me, but that's a lie. The opposite is true, if a man is talking to me he most likely hates me. Why would I ever like or even be nice to someone who hates me? Women are supposed to be indifferent to men, we're not supposed to like them. They don't even want us to like them. They know they're not worthy of our time and attention, and that's why they will gladly pay for it in money. Love yourself and protect your happiness with immovable boundaries. See the world for what it really is and focus on your affirmations. What else can we do? Lol

@femmybetts5494 Год назад

Me and my girl was just talking about this yesterday. The maturity of the men… Hates us that’s why they treat us the way they do. Is it cause they secretly wants to be with men instead? Or they’re just jealous of us.

@ssiegreen5292 Год назад

Why in the world would you be with someone you don't like or can't stand to be around???

@cleopatrajones7096 Год назад

@@ssiegreen5292 Ha. Well not initially. It takes time to not like someone! The time where he doesn’t show up, doesn’t help clean, complains about the cooking, drinks too much, starts fights as a form of entertainment,..you feel me?

@lonelyplanet2021 Год назад

This approach is for more mature generation. It's based on experience and patience. But it's very true. We should not force anything..Never.

@kayjeffs3741 Год назад

This definitely works! I did this with an ex once...didn't resist, contest the breakup or anything. Next thing I know, months later he was showing up to my house crying, calling my job crying, he was miserable...begging me to take him back. I was good on him though...

@nehemilia5033 Год назад

What i want is respect not love. I DONT SEEK TO CONTROL OUTCOMES. I STATE MY CASE AND I MOVE

@marciamellow1211 Год назад

You are the most important always...no one else...know yourself enough that being alone Is a beautiful thing..no one is more interesting than you... freedom is peace. A great relationship is always a plus...just do not make it at your expense.. ❤

@jiejoudom5521 2 года назад

This strategy works. I unknowingly did it and it made him want to still talk to me and he felt unsure of his initial decision to break up

@evonne315 Год назад

I am guilty of being the runner mostly, in the runner-chaser dynamic. It was very embarrasing for me and my former partner. I researched and learned all I could but in the end I had had to grin and bear it, realizing the worst thing to do is participate in that kind of behaviour. Now I have worked on my anxieties instead, not the dynamic. I notice I no longer an attracted to people to engage that way, it kindof painful to see in others now. It takes time and effort, but we can overcome the urge to please and fight for the relationship at all cost. Instead fight for your own dignity.

@raymi9436 2 года назад

Great video 💕 I learned this technique from a man. It’s very true indeed Thank you Also, it doesn’t mean you don’t “care” When you apply this. This is a technique a woman should learn.

@nathancernyar9904 Год назад

I tend to think whether a person is entering or exiting a relationship, you want to give them the ability to leave with Grace and dignity. He was honest with her about the relationship even offering her a closure of having coffee with him later that week. Giving them both ability to close the relationship with respect. Instead she turned it into a mind game. I have always tried to (imperfectly) give the other person Grace and dignity. If they call me up to ask if we can have coffee I would say it would be difficult for me to see them right now and that they meant quite a bit to me, maybe in a couple months. Even if I didn't feel that way at that time I give the person in the brake up respect so they can still feel they have value in your eyes. You want their self-esteem to stay intact because you care for them you want them to move into the next relationship smoothly. ( whether the relationship was "toxic" or not)

@melvynom Год назад

Good advice but the danger in the last advice given is that you impress the subconscious mind and make the break up a reality - and yes you will become less emotional but your imagination will be the cause of the break up in the first place. The subconscious mind has a special way of making things happen - good or bad

@victoriakahtania Год назад

that was my thought, too.

@VividYouth Год назад

I have always done this because of trauma. Being left or dismissed hurt me to my core and is something I can’t ”formgive” (mind you I dont hold grudges Its just the child in me/ my shadow that is very voulnerable and cant handle rejection ).. i never take someone back

@hannahhardy7557 Год назад

Thanks why loving yourself is the greatest love of all. 🤗❤️

@raymi9436 2 года назад

We can learn a thing or two from Lori Harvey. Great idea putting her picture!

@becomebetter994 Год назад

you are doing an exceptional job girl! All respect and power to you! 🙌

@lori7308 2 года назад

I don’t really find it beneficial to lower your expectations from the partner just to be less emotional and deal better with heart breaks. You can work with yourself to master the detachment so you can be prepared with everything coming from a relationship.

@bekind3050 Год назад

I would add the No Expectations Aspect. It's possible not to expect anything from other people in general. Just enjoy the moment. Train yourself not to expect anything.

@cigall Год назад

@@bekind3050 This is a good attitude in life in general in the philosophical sense, and when you are dealing with people that you don't have close bonds with, but humans evolved by depending on, trusting, and therefore having expectations from the people who they have close connections with. Yes, having expectations from a loved one implies vulnerability because it leaves us vulnerable to being hurt. But it's not possible to have true intimacy without emotional vulnerability. If you have a close connection with someone, then you trust and expect that they will treat you kindly for example, or that they will help you during hard times. Without some of these basic expectations, that's not really a close, trusting relationship. I've spent a lot of time studying Buddhist philosophy and other non-attachment teachings and these are my conclusions. Furthermore, I think these kinds of teachings can be quite damaging because they imply people can treat others badly and take no responsibility, or that a person should repress their emotional needs and therefore live in a kind of "alone together" state. This is really what "no expectations" means. I'm not sure this is what we should strive for.

@cigall Год назад

Doesn't detachment also mean having no/low expectations from the person? Could you explain how you see them differently? Let's say I enjoy receiving regular texts from the person I'm dating. If I don't receive regular texts from them, then I feel our connection is weak. This means I have an expectation of receiving regular texts. I could detach from that expectation and essentially not care anymore whether I receive regular texts or not. But doesn't that also mean I have also lowered my standards because I am now accepting something less than what my original standards were?

@thisismyname7284 6 месяцев назад

This is such a great video bc I've seen this happen SO OFTEN in my friends. However, I've only seen this happen to the girls. I mean, the girls throw a fit of rage over some insignificant issue. They rant, scream, leave, and say they're done. The guy says, well, that was awkward and walks away. A day or so later, the girls go running back to the guys saying they want them back and almost every time, I would say 99/100 times the guys, no. Not going back. He saw a side of the girl he didn't like and they're not going to be emotionally manipulated. The girls have no other choice but move on, while a few continue to beg to get the boy back. Like I said, this scenario is SUPER common, but reversed. Makes me wonder if this girl did this and to save face she said she was the one who was high value, when in reality the one who posted that comment was the one dumped. Ladies, don't play games. If you're interested great. If you're not, don't get freebies, and don't spend time with men who are not up to your standards. Your high value comes from reputation as well. A girl who is out there dating everything with a pulse that asks, vs the girls who turn everyone down because they are looking for someone who is truly their ideal match, word gets around. Value is established. Men know that in order to ask you out, they better have something to offer you or they too will be turned down. Yes. I speak from experience. I have turned down every single date for 2+ years now. I am waiting for my right man. Not a perfect man, but the right one for me who will see me as the right one for him. I am in zero mood to waste my time on men who I cannot consider marriage material.

@neomotheo2878 Год назад

you know what, this is so trueee.. you know i love my girlfriend so much that if she would break up with me or cheat on me it would break my world, but i have been hurting myself so much with the thought of us coming to an everyday that i didnt hurt me anymore, just a thought. and now its like if she break up with me amma be alright in no time at all..

@eli30013 Год назад

Yes the closer you are to the reality that things don’t last forever the more emotionally detached you’ll become it’s about silencing the mind

@TheTheg0 Год назад

Also,I saw this technique from a narc man and left me speechless 😶

@vanessawest1664 Год назад

This came across like narcissistic behaviour too. Calculated and able to dismiss natural, human emotion.

@DearYoungerSelf111 10 месяцев назад

If I may add - yes this is a narc tactic with ONE difference - when we use it to walk away - we stay gone - a narc uses this to regain the power and control their intent is not to leave the relationship - what is your intention in using no resistance?

@champagnemami5161 Год назад

Here I was thinking I was the least feminine female I know. But this is my 5 video of yours I’ve watched and everyone has hit

@zoedixon5274 2 года назад

You can’t fake this. It only works when you generally don’t care. So who needs the interest from someone you generally have no interest any more. His now interest is worthless.

@yolenda_loves_to_sing Год назад

I must add, I think it only works if the relationship was good tho. If it was bad, they would wanna leave anyways.

@tashadavis2491 Год назад

Hi the lady that moved on in the start of the video did good. I'm n a relationship of 4yrs we hardly have much contact now, nor much communication. Thinking i should move on , nothing is getting better. Thanks

@cheekymonkeygirl3378 2 года назад

I highly concur. 😁🐭♥️

@nehemilia5033 Год назад

My full life strategy

@flower_7890 Год назад

That was a brilliant move of her😏😁

@terraiznajem105 Год назад

Well said thank you

@nadinenyangii5151 2 года назад

Ooooh ! Hell yeah 😁 I like that and if it's happens to me 1day i will do just that . THANKS 👍

@malihamasood1050 Год назад

Love this video. Thank you for all the amazing life lessons you impart to us in this channel I wish you happiness and success in your personal life

@amyj.4992 Год назад

She did mention, regardless of your decision just be cool about it

@amyj.4992 Год назад

But I do believe, our breakup was an amazing idea though.

@amyj.4992 Год назад

Women are terrible giving dating advice about how to man handle

@AchiniKaravita 2 года назад

Brilliant video, thank you for posting ❤️

@anitadanquah2580 Год назад

I love your voice ❤️😍

@Seelmeyer1 2 года назад

Missed you! Xoxox

@amandawingz658 Год назад

This just seems like a game. Not really a strategy but more of a power struggle and taking the power and always letting go. If you never give second chances you never take that risk for something great?

@SR77736 Год назад

Yeah but you need to have boundaries and emotional strength. It's not a game it's smart. People do what you allow and it's ok to cut people off and not tolerate bs instead of being naive and overly forgiving or resisting what is. Letting go is best if that person wants to. Why desperately fight it? Why fight what is? This is also a spiritual lesson... acceptance. If you can't you look weak and can't accept reality. That's not good. It holds you back. Maybe you missed the point.

@bumblebee4280 Год назад

There is nothing great about a man who underestimates your value.

@tinashe9967 Год назад

Giving second chances is bs. You're just inviting that person to crush you all over once again. There's nothing great in being stupid and vulnerable.

@amandawingz658 Год назад

@@tinashe9967 we are all human and make mistakes and not everyone communicates the same way- that is what I mean by second chances. Straight up lying or cheating or stealing etc- def no. But little things you need to consider what is important what is big/small. No second chance on something small and you could ruin something potentially good for you. You'd want that same consideration

@tinashe9967 Год назад

@@amandawingz658 if he can have thoughts of leaving you once, just for a small thing, then how can you expect that he'll be with you through the thick and thin of life?

@MissSarahGM 2 года назад

She doesn't care it's easy...

@Theblackswan55 2 года назад

The point of the video is to do that even when you care.

@MissSarahGM 2 года назад

Well good luck when you love someone to act like that, unless you have big big ego

@CopperCulture 2 года назад

@@MissSarahGM how about love yourself more.

@RosyMischief 2 года назад

Yes, too many women…most… show their cards (and a lot more than that)….

@goddessglow6996 Год назад

I disagree! She loves herself more than she loves him.

@dubravKA1111 2 года назад

Exactly. 💜

@almeralicehe6169 2 года назад

yes but her following refusal only works in the case that she no longer wants him anyway.

@lialearnenglish Год назад

Same situation as mine. But im woman, he is man. When i couldn't understand my feelings about him. I wanted to get broke up with him. But he had not answered me, no texting, no calling, he turned into a ghost. Then i started to fall in love with him. But i don't know Why????

@Gaticarose26 2 года назад

Thank you! I’m so excited you started adding more videos! Do you have an Instagram or podcast? I want to follow you. All of your videos are empowering, and you have a beautiful voice.

@Theblackswan55 2 года назад

Thank you. I don't have a podcast and I would like to remain anonymous and not share my IG, at least for now. If that changes, I will post my IG on the community section. ❤️❤️

@Gaticarose26 2 года назад

You’re welcome. I love your content. ❤️You have helped me so much. And yes, I’ll stay tune. 😄

@Lacehairwigs 2 года назад

Excellent video

@Reshme77 Год назад

11/10

@mariaschinz515 2 года назад

Hi Litta, the link to your one on one coaching doesn't work. How can you be reached or how can I find out about what you offer?

@Theblackswan55 2 года назад

Hi Maria, thanks for trying to reach out for my coaching service. The link to my coaching website is broken on purpose as I am taking a break from coaching at the moment. I will start coaching again in a few months and will post about it on the community section. Feel free to send me an email explaining your current situation and what you would like from coaching ( you can fins the email on the channel page under about section ).

@mariaschinz515 2 года назад

@@Theblackswan55 Oh gee I can‘t find your email adress, sorry 🙈 Can I send a message via Instagram? I would really love to connect.

@miathompson1172 2 года назад

That’s a great video.

@Mya-Elba Год назад

Great advices here, but the last advice isn’t it manifesting a break up ?

@deadbutdope9 Год назад

The reason why relationships don't work these days is because people learn relationships from RU-vid videos.

@DerytahTomara Год назад

Lol sho ppl don't even believe in having deep connected relationships because of reality🤷🏾‍♀️

@nurseannesinspirationalwellnes Год назад

🎬

@Bbbbbbcd Год назад

Is this even if they plan to meet you the next day and then say we want to be friends 😞

@Theblackswan55 Год назад

The advice applies to people dating or in a relationship. If someone just wants to be friends, that does not sound serious to me and I would only go with the flow if I have nothing better to do or just want to pass the time.

@Bbbbbbcd Год назад

@@Theblackswan55 thank you for that and thank you for replying - I just couldn’t understand how he changed his mind over night 😞 he just played with my feelings and I had t felt like that in ages Thank You for the advice and new subbie ♥️

@missamande805 2 года назад

❤❤❤

@gunfugames7430 2 года назад

It work for Stacy only. 8 out of 10 on male SMV scale.

@farhathsulthana3863 2 года назад

Amazing video,, but just can you say one more thing here … when he says he wants to break up and you don’t give any resistance… you said chances are he will come back and reconsider his decision.. but what if he never comes back and I just let him keep moving away from me …. Pls pls can you clear this 🙏

@sindhusekar1918 2 года назад

Then you need to let him move away and remember what was said in the video.... you were born alone. Happily ever after is a bonus. Date other people who you might fall in love with.

@farhathsulthana3863 2 года назад

Amazing thank you 🙏

@Elven. 2 года назад

@@farhathsulthana3863 there's a woman here on RU-vid called addriene Everheart, she's great with those situations

@farhathsulthana3863 2 года назад

Amazing thank you @spartan

@sbusisiweshaba1715 Год назад

Then let him go, if he really loved you, why would he have left in the first place? Let him go.

@bobconaway 2 года назад

My opinion: A nearly perfect example of a lack of honesty. Not playing games, playing people. Nasty way of life.

@H.H2424 2 года назад

Be honest and you will learn the lesson in a hard way until you open your eyes. This is just a nature law of relationship, would you sleep with your date on the first date if you feel you want to? Just to be honest with your feeling?

@lavishlovergirl Год назад

@@H.H2424 it's obvious a man would try to make this strategy look bad and yet they do it

@mychannelafc 3 месяца назад

This is a great tip! Just agree with them lol. Also, this comment section is gold.

@mwansasenkwe6819 Год назад

But isn’t doing the last thing of practicing the heart break more like manifesting the breakup ? Great video by the way 🤍

@vanessawest1664 Год назад

That’s what I thought too haha 😂 that’s like attracting it. Why not let yourself be happy and just work on being you. Not planning for the worst 🤷‍♀️ haha

@kayjeffs3741 Год назад

I wouldn't say that...just preparing for it..if it doesn't happen...great...if it does, you'll be emotionally ready for it.