I teach a college course called Adulting and wow, I was so taken aback by how not-participatory students have been since the pandemic, I had to pretty much deliberately rile them up, make them move, or have them play games with the course content (Family Feud) and finally last Monday they were really chipper when I walked in and they ALL said hi when I said hi. Ahhhhh
often everything gets moved right back to the place I already had it in, but that short period of change and fresh perspective feels deeply therapeutic
I don’t think you’ve ever opened the pod with a question I related to less 😂 I literally never sit around wishing my friends were available. But then you hit the nail on the head-do something physical or start a project. My job is very physical so I think that helps a lot.
it's a huge thing for me, and FWIW it's one of the top questions we get from listeners! It's really an epidemic. hopefully we can make it weight a little less heavily on you
With panic attacks, my therapist told me to welcome the physical sensations, like say "bring it on" to them. Make my heart beat faster, make my palms sweat more! etc. And also to know that if you allow the physical sensations of your feelings fully, they don't last very long. Trying to make them stop makes it so much worse.
Those feelings are real and valid and you are allowed to sit with them. I unfortunately don’t know how to get back and had to have techniques to break the cycle.
this is so so interesting, and really helpful. my therapist said to actually FOCUS on the physical sensations, which was surprising and seems very aligned with this!
@@Not4EveryonePod It was surprising to me, too. But then trying to get away from something is, in essence, a fear response (in a way) whereas welcoming something sends the message to your nervous system that you have no reason to be afraid. They're just feelings/sensations and not to be avoided or have judgement attached to them. It took me a while to fully get my head around it. With anxiety, I've also found IFS (parts theory) helpful. "PART of me is feeling really anxious right now. That makes sense."
@@victtayl This is good stuff. Thanks for sharing. I've found that now that I know how to recognize the symptoms of a panic attack (and that I'm NOT having a heart attack...!!!), I can acknowledge the symptoms and it helps me calm down and move forward.
Caroline iCan identify with you so much. It’s so hard to be conventionally attractive and weird at the same time because everyone has certain expectations of you and thinks that you’re one way inside you just feel so insane.
So sorry to hear you've been having panic attacks, Caroline! I've been experiencing some pretty intense panic attacks/health anxiety as well. I chalk it up to feeling good and finally being in a relationship with someone who I'm afraid to lose (and who I know will never leave me on his own accord). I think I unconsciously always expect something bad to pop around the corner and steal my newfound contentment (something like death lol). But happiness does not equal catastrophe and it calms me to know that it's BECAUSE my life is good that I'm afraid of losing it. Happiness is safe, you're safe, and you deserve to feel good.
ah i wish i could hug you. that is TOTALLY the feeling for me. so i feel this in my heart and gut for you. they are getting fewer and farther between for me, as i continue to trust the situation. i hope they will for you too!
Instead of "no worries if not" perhaps try "no is an acceptable answer". It's a bit more cold/blunt/robotic but if you have trouble saying something you don't literally mean (you do have those internal worries) I find using a phrase that's devoid of implied value judgement helps me.
omg I WAS discovered when I was singing! spoiler - It didn't make me famous. I was in a music school walking with a friend down a hall and I sang and this man goes, who is this singing? You need to join our choir asap. I did. But I thought I'd be a solo and I was never promoted. I quit, because back when I was nine being in a choir was a meh for me. I joined a choir as an adult and was happy to be part of choir. Anyway, I remember the moment when I was noticed - it felt amazing!
I'll talk to you on Mondays Jess 😂😂 cuz like where do you go when you've already re-listened to your comfort shows and you still want that connection!?!!
but lanyards are a specific item you wear around your neck or keep your keys or like an employee identification card on🤔 strange that it would be called that somewhere!
Boat neck. Scoop neck. Cap sleeve. Wrap. Faux-wrap. Ruching. Cinched. Smocked. So many shirts. But yeah really most days I open my closet and think to myself "these are sorry excuses for shirts"
More specifically repetition disrupts the flight response by allowing you to do something that engages some other part of the brain that is not the amygdala. It keeps you in your prefrontal cortex (reason/logic) and away from the amygdala (animal response/fight, flight, flea, fawn). This is specifically why EMDR therapy works and I think in my completely scientific and professional capacity (read not at all any of those things) that Caroline is a great candidate for EMDR or IFS (or a combination) therapy.
I stopped saying “gimp” because I felt weird about it (possibly an able-it slur?? Who even knows)-so now I just go with lanyard because that was the other name for it!
it was a literal life saver for me. If you're seeking a big change or new life purpose...it can take a lot of time and reflection. Coding is a really amazing career you can get into without taking out giant loans for a grad degree (look into bootcamps). It did not really fulfill me - but that wasn't the point. it bought me the 4 years i needed before i came across RU-vid and my next chapter, and didnt leave me high and dry in the meantime
Caroline - I agree with you that there are no shirts. I think one of the major issues is that clothing companies now are doing a lot of crop tops, t shirts, tanks, clubbing/going out tops, and shapeless “business casual” wear. I have a lot of problems finding flattering, actually cute tops that I could wear to dinner with friends, to see my family, whatever. Just a regular “cure top.” Where are the cute tops ! ?
Love your pod❤️ it’s such a relief to hear you talk about personal, fun, embarrassing, inspirational and crazy things! Thank you for letting us be a fly on the wall of your friendship every week 🫶🏼
Also I love y'all both so much. -- highly recommend Luis Mojica (Holistic Life Navigation Podcast) for somatic experiencing / embodiment practices, helpful any day really, but especially panicky type of days
I've never related more to a podcast episode in my life. I feel like everything you talked about are the conversations I'm having with my self and my friends all the time!
Your gimp wire thingy is called ‘Scooby’ in South Africa. We had it here too. You can now get whole loom kits with similar stuff for kids to make bracelets with.
Probably depends a lot on what kind of consumer you are. Most months I spend zero dollars on clothes so to me it would be crazy. But if fashion is your hobby and you spend a lot of money each month on clothes in order to stay trendy, it's probably a good deal.
I F*CKING LOVE how weird you are in such a kooky, charming adorable way! ❤ ..I had to laugh so hard on the no music in the background - silence - dishwasher sound- scene and even harder on the pillow and lavender story.
bed bug ptsd is so real I had them once in uni, not even in my room, and I still sometimes, 4 apartments later will randomly have an intrusive thought and look for them with a flashlight under the mattress in the middle of the night Everytime I wake up with a spot somewhere on my body I'm CONVINCED that's a bedbug bite Also recently I was doing an internship at a hospital where they had at that time bedbug problem and it triggered it and now thinking about it I'm itchy again
Hahaha. We didn’t even HAVE bed bugs but we THOUGHT we did after my husband traveled. This was years ago. I still have PTSD about it and we never even experienced it. So funny!
Shopping is a pain! The rental service is a good way to get started (lol I was saying out loud “it’s probably Nuuly!” the whole segment because that’s the latest one I’ve been hearing about a lot). I don’t even think there’s a good way to go about it without trying out different clothes at the mall/thrift store as a first pass, and like you said it may not fit your lifestyle afterwards, and for that reason I can’t encourage people to shop at the ceiling of their budget if it’s going to be discarded the same way as low quality clothes. Rental is a good way, not accessible to everyone obviously, then there’s secondhand shopping which is also not accessible to everyone (busy people or people without transportation) or they can’t find their style in there.
I think a lot of us just accept that it’s a whole journey just to find our style. For different cuts of shirts, I follow fashion accounts sometimes and just try what catches my eye.
I moved to a new city a little over a year ago, and to be honest, it’s been a really lonely time ever since. I’ve slowly made a handful of friends here and there, none of whom know each other. And I’ve been craving a close friend group/community. So I really loved your discussion on being the one to bring people together. I’m inspired to do the same. Thanks for sharing this episode. It’s a helpful reminder that I’m not the only one struggling with these topics. 🥲
