Narc Vader vs Educated Empath : ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-a0O8JAg1uzU.html How Narcs Manufacture YOUR Social Isolation ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-uhRyH2B41xI.html Narcissism --Empty Shell or Strong Identity: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-k4-p85dmZv4.html What Sparks A Narcissist's Revenge cycle?: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-udDakYr31hw.html
This tactic of love bombing a love bomber is like pretending to be a narcissist to a narcissist. A parasite doesn't want another parasite so it will lose interest in you to find a host. heh. interesting.
I love this! Especially the have different opinions - because they hate that... they love the "Yes People" - the people that just agree with everything they say, and that's because eventually they will manipulate the Yes People to do their bidding for them, their dirty work... ;-)
I had a new acquaintance send me an email saying she didn't want to be friends anymore because she felt she couldn't have an opinion. When actually sometimes our opinions weren't the same. When I went to her house to pick up my motorcycle she didn't even come out to open the garage. She had her roommate do it!
I did it to my narc, she disengaged so fast I think she hit warp speed getting away from me. Getting me, huh? Guess what? I GOT YOU! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!
richard black err...not necessarily brilliant...my narcissist is an attorney that i met during a high school reunion. have known him for 30 years and last year he started a smear campaign against me telling people i was stalking him, which i never did and would never do. I'm a lightworker and am well aware of how karma works. if i really stalked him he'd probably get a restraining order. i didnt even think of him being a narcissist until last month when I started getting educated on youtube about the clinical signs. i am now grateful every day i dodged that hell. so lesson is... be careful who you "play stalk" .. could be dangerous to your reputation. this is my first time on this channel so when i saw the rec to stalk it was scary to me knowing what this narc has put me through.
I have used this to dispose of my exhusband! He always said that he wouldn't ever let me go and that he wished that he could medicate me to make me do what he wanted. I stop bathing, stopped doing my hair and asked him for money whilst telling him about my vaginal fungus infection. He hated DIY so I asked him to help me decorate. It worked.
sherryharrison I stopped doing the laundry, dishes, and mopping the floor, Lol. I also used to leave my wax strips full of hair all over the bathroom sink. Didn't allow him to drink any of my juice and he had to cook if he wanted to eat ( ALL THE T I ME) I literally refused to do anything for him. .Couldnt use my towels my wash clothes or my soap..Go buy your own. Worked like a charm. You have to treat them like shit. Point blank period. They are going to try and gaslihjy and call you the evil one. Just remebdr all the times you loved them and they gave you their middle finger in return . Worked for me. 😂😂😂😂 oh and act butt bone crazy. Get all in their face, contort your face..Talk loud. Act like an asshole act like how they FEEL...Remember they want to be the ones doing the disrespecting, not receiving it. they are out of there and they will be scared as hell to come around you.
I wish I could see video of it in action. I'm an okay actor, if I can see someone else do it, I can usually copy, but if I try it I will mess up so bad...
Thanks although - I would say this move is a last ditch effort. You have to be strong enough in yourself not to care what the N thinks and what they might say about you in their smear campaign. Its not a move to consider lightly.
I did something similar..lol..a guy wrapped his hands around my throat and tried to choke me.. instead of fighting..I put my hands on my hips and glared at him with the most evil look in my eyes..lol..he took his hands away and asked " did I scare you?"..I said "No, but if you ever laid your hands on me again, i'll break your arms off and beat you with it!" ..lol..they never touched me again..lol
The first tactic....i disagree . Toxic people love fighting, and making themselves the victim. However, the second tactic is brilliant. It is kind of similar to gray rock. Basically, if you remain one note (constantly happy, constantly needy, or depressed, stoic etc.) , it drives them nuts, because they want a reaction. If you're one type of emotion all the time, there is no contrast and therefore, no reaction!!!
*If you're one type of emotion all the time, there is no contrast and therefore, no reaction!!!* [ I have a theory that one way to "keep" a narcissist around is to act like a Bipolar Borderline.] I agree, many narcissists are absolutely stimulated by a target's constant change of emotion. // I also agree that many narcs love playing the victim, fighting, and drama. Regardless, my focus is exclusively on self-protection and my goal is to counter manipulate the abuser into voluntarily disengaging as quickly as possible. Unique situations require unique solutions. :-D // Thank you for sharing:-)
Maybe you can argue enough with a narc, so that they get sick of you. If all the fighting and drama is how they get their fix, then i can see how too much of it could irritate them. However, that would really turn me into someone that i am not because I am not confrontational.
Unexpected body language is indeed a good countermeasure against narcissists. A "close talker" a "weird handshake", that goes unnoticed by surrounding people, but it will rattle the narcissist.
my narc ex told me to get the fuck out of his life lol so i moved out the next day and now he is a basket case and wants me back so he can manipulate me he misses it hahah yuck he is all alone and says he didnt expect me to move out of state he thought' i would eventually move out and live in the same town as him. i said i really dont miss him or living with him. he now stalks my blog and youtube and he assumes that my friend is my new bf hahahh he is upset and he is making shit up in his mind like i dont have a new bf lol i made a vlog of me and my friend making it look like we are bf /gf and he is so upset that he lost me"the best thing that ever walked into his life" so he says. then after an apology he says rude shit lol totally cancelling out his false apology
Racquel Rose My narc does that all the time! Thanks to Sacha, I basically manipulate him and use him anyway I can. The crazy thing is, he seems to enjoy it! Lol
The video advice suggests engaging the sociopath in a game where you have to do this and you have to do that. That is risky. Sociopaths love to be engaged in ego games and they usually win. The way to make them WANT to avoid you is to expose them. They hate being exposed. Indicate to them overtly, point blank and out in the open you are on to them. Stay honest and above reproach and don't back down.
I don't endorse codependent relationships, therefore I never tell people they "have" to do something. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-8Cp6TDCZ36g.html And I disagree with your statement "sociopaths always win." ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-61M85xWu82Q.html ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-sJj3dT5hJL8.html
Awesome! I really like you girl! I've been into this subject for a while now but only just found you. It is so refreshing to hear words like "manipulate" being used in a positive sense, from the p.o.v. of the person who is fighting back against emotional abusers! This is EXACTLY the kind of thing that those with no understanding of the Cluster B syndromes simply can never get. Standard wisdom, common sense, and even regular ethics, simply do not apply when you are fighting your psychological corner under heavy attack by narcissists, borderlines, and other personality disordereds (PDs). It drives me crazy when people try to apply conventional tactics to PD situations; these are all the well-meaning new-agers who tell you to "forgive your parents/ex/sibling/boss/friend!" and other such mind-numbing platitudes of no value (not to mention they never tell you HOW you are supposed to do this, nor what it even means to have done so, let alone how it is supposed to protect you against future injury); or else they say you should just be "honest and direct" with people whose whole M.O. is about covert motives, information(ammunition)-gathering, secrets, lies, and games. As if you haven't tried direct honesty and gotten double-shat on and betrayed for it, a million times. They tell you revenge/payback is bad and that you shouldn't try to play somebody at their own game. They act like you can heal a PD by being straight up and loving them unconditionally. They end up making US feel like it's on us to fix the relationship. That there is something we could be doing differently.... Indeed there is, but it has nothing to do with being straight up and loving them unconditionally despite their cruelty, it has to do with beating them at their own game. Thank our lucky stars, and human invention, for the Internet. Now all of us, former victims can come together and share our stories, and our STRATEGIES, for defeating the vampires that would drain us dry and drag us down. Cheers for a good 'un!
But when it comes to really dangerous narcissists, I have seen some really scary, experienced predators who relish this tactic as an opportunity to pre-emptively accuse their targets of stalking and try to get restraining orders or sue when they try these things. Sometimes awful people are so good at inciting behavior, keeping their cool, and gaslighting, that they try to make their victim look like the stalker.
Do have to admit though that I did this crazy person thing to him and he did drop me like a hot potato! Not heard from him in over a year and we have a son together! We've won baby 🙌🏻🙌🏻
Wouldn't those tactics annoy and creep out every guy and girl and make them stop contacting you? The shit she is telling you to do is some creepy and annoying shit.
Not going to hug the vampire. Interesting strategy, but I can't bring myself to follow it, not with the narcs in my situation. Thank you just the same.
I'v gone psycho all the way- rgdless what she says, my one and only answer is; "...and the Truth shall set u free!" It's so nice and quiet in this house these days M8! lol c;`)
I get your point but the target will look crazy doing that!! The target could get themselves in trouble. Unless the document everything that they do and their intent in doing what they're doing.
*I agree*, *this strategy is not for everyone!* /// *Strategically engulfing a narcissist takes a lot of skill and foresight*! // I also think this engulfment tactic is a lot easier to do with non-romantic relationships. :-)
Well not always, in a romantic relationship a narcissist never wants to feel responsible for anything, so if you tell them you love them and then act like you rely on them "too much" then they will go no contact simply because you now expect something of them or they feel personally responsible for you, LOL. Yeah, narcissists suck like that.
Exactly what I was thinking. Who would deal with another person showing up at their home, stalking them on social media, smothering them with calls and texts daily, etc.? Nobody wants that, not just the people she's describing.
You are the best!! I have co-worker who is an only child/ex-fat girl. She just got married ( poor man!) and got a senior artistic director position-they live their titles! Hahaha! She's loud and a verbal bully-thinks everyone should respect her. Why am I such target is I do my best to be respectful and not say anything out of line - well perfect target for narc sharks. I used this engulf technique and during a demonstration she got so nervous and dropped a 800. Pair of shears. In my industry dropping shears is showing incompetence. She blamed me of course because I was standing to close but the result was amazing! I never seen anyone turn so red with anger and shame. And I milked it for all it was worth. She stood as far away possible from me trying to shot passive aggressive insults which every insult was met with "I don't speak minimum wage so can you please speak like an intelligent human!" Narcs should learn to never get on a bad side of an empath! We go for the soul once boundaries have crossed to abuse. Of course she started a smear campaign now. With all the tools you share I am ready for battle!!
Can I add I have been abusing my narcissistic work colleague the last two working days using ambient abuse where I keep passing comments under my breath such as 'someone's not happy' or 'is he crying' or 'I'm making progress bit by bit'. I have had him in tears over his loss of control over me combined with the emotional abuse. And my carefully crafted ambient remarks are so good I am doing them in plain sight of managers and other staff while getting away with it. If you copy this approach remember to make the comments vague so they could either be about something else or about someone else. I abused him about 200 times using this on Friday and about 50 hit home. Today I only did it 50 times and hit home on almost all of them. Its like he is sat there paranoid and emotional waiting for the next one so they've worked better.
Have a look on psychology websites about how a paedophiles mind works. Apparently there is research indicating its the Narcs (or disorders containing narcissism such as ASPD) and they target children that remind them of themselves. Whats going on in their twisted minds is they are taking the opportunity to have sex with themselves. Just start coming out with this psychology stuff and watch to see if its hitting home. If it does you have them by the balls. Invent stories about yourself having a police officer in the family and from what they've shared with you, you can spot a paedo a mile off. Their own paranoia will get rid of them. Another thing that works is wait until a group meeting or gathering and for someone in it to pay them a compliment about their personality. Simply say out loud well he does seem to be giving out that impression at the moment but I suppose he does like to wear different masks in front of different people. Watch it as they will likely explode at being exposed. Once revealed it wont take long before they leave as everyone has seen through them. Finally another favourite of mine which works really well is to wait for some narcissistic behaviour and say out loudly in front of everyone 'Oh my God, whats he doing now' then laugh hysterically at him to humiliate him. I use he but of course narcs/ASPD can be she too.
Bullying them is great, and I used a technique similar to yours - when I really had enough of my Narc ex, I pointed out her flaws, her contradictions, her lies and her absence of moral. When I noticed she couldn't stand it, I just started enjoying it and making a fun game out of it :-) In the beginning it was just things like "hey, I know you lied/stole/etc, why did you do that?", and later on I went deeper, more like "do you really think you will ever get happy by running away from your life?". She can't stand it, she blocked my phone (never called her since breakup anyway though), blocked me on facebook, my mail, everything. We had to meet a few times since, though, and I absolutely loved putting my finger on her twisted disorder, I told her flatout that I'm convinced she has NPD and present myself as someone who can't live with her, but still cares (which I don't, she shall rot in hell or live happily, I don't care) and tries to contribute to her healing. The more people witness it, the better, because it strips her of her usual narc defenses (rage). As a side effect, I also convinced others she has NPD. Plus, and that's probably the best part, I win the narrative, because I am the caring guy and she can't take part at my game (as she'd count as nuts), nor can she rage against it (at least not in public), and I love that she's unable to cope with my treatment, it seems to drive her in the corner, so the only possibility is to shut down and/or run. Ask her how her situation is, what job she has now (she can't tell out of embarassment, because she told me she had lots of great opportunities and now just has an auxiliary job), just point out her weak spots, be interested to the limit of being inquiring (I want to know everything, and Narcs hate that), until you can put your finger on something where reality doesn't meet her narc fairytales, and then throw it at her, "I'm so sorry you couldn't get your dream job. But don't be ashamed, maybe you should just lower your expectations to a more realistic level. What's your highest qualification again?" (She's a dropout). Other good topics are her low health, her not being accepted by her family, her still not being famous - you get the idea. Every Narc should have plenty of personal flaws, and there are always plenty of new ones to find. Just point them out. Lead everything back to her narc disorder, which you don't even need to lie for. Destroy every possible Narc supply that you can find, and yes, it can really raise your mood when you shatter her ego - it's something like reverse Narc supply, I guess :-) I was just looking for the truth when what I found turned out to be Narc torture, and I love it and she probably knows it and I think she really dreads me :-) She has an oh so pretty picture bolted in front of her rotten face and I'm the guy with the screwdriver, always ready and very willing to unmask her. And I like your channel! You have a positive mood and you're taking the fun from it, which also helped me a lot to heal. Keep the good vibes flowing :-)
Omg I think the narc I know would love this! They would drop everything so that I could be dependant on them completely, then tell everyone that I'm and incompetent mess and should have my children taken away or something lol. Think I'll just stay no contact!!!
Hahaha, I love your videos, it's sooo funny the way you explain things. Thank you so much for sharing with us this great talent that you have and help us know how to have a little fun, at least, with this kind of people. You're great.
This is what I did. I confronted him at his Ex-GF's house late at night. I went up to the door and stood right in front of them. Then I drove to his house and got in his face in his driveway. I was in a rage and told him to get in my face and answer my questions. He was totally shocked, dismayed, and angry at this. He said I suffocated him and he felt like he was in a prison. He ran away.... I haven't heard from him ever since. Your video breaks down and helps understand the psychology of him.
Lolol! This was great! I actually did this via text this past week and had no idea it was a tactic. After I'd smothered with texts, some not so nice, I felt maybe that was the crazymaking effect and that he probably thinks I'm certifiable now, yet after watching this I was on point and didn't even know it!! Haha!! Haven't heard from him in days! Feels good to be narc and drama free! Thanks for all you do! You're awesome!
I started telling my mom that I figured out a way to get rid of my ex. I said I'm going to start asking him to do stuff for me. It really didn't work though because he just started being meaner and meaner. He didn't leave me alone he just started treating me so bad that I felt like curling up in the fetal position and crying. They are rotten to their core and trying to play with them is risky sometimes. I am in love with this guy and he is just ROTTEN. But thank God for videos like this where I can at least understand that their is no cure for their insanity and cruelty. Time to move on wether you love them or not. Who wants to live life with a person like that? Not me!
Just don't get a restraining order. That can really screw up your life, job, family. Not worth it. In some courts, there can be a permanent public record. You wouldn't be able to volunteer at your child's school, work at a hospital, go for custody of your children down the road, work in law enforcement (or law in general). Deal with your narc, but don't do it at the expense of your own life and happiness. That is letting the other person win.
Shasha as always you are on point! I have a sociopathic father and a covert narcissistic baby daddy. They joined forces "even though they hate each other" just to punish me for exposing them! Oh yeah... Took me to court and had my daughter taken away. Heading back to a final hearing soon, but my God I wish I could figure out how to get them to just leave me Alone.
THIS IS 100%) EFFECTIVE, in friendship or romantic relationships. Do exactly what they were doing to you at the binning when they were trying to draw you in and they only knew you for a few days. When you've had enough and it's time for them to fall back, text them first thing in the morning b4 work; send a text at night before bed; don't forget the afternoon one, just to say hey. After a while, you'll notice they will no longer respond in the manner in which they did. If you were just testing them to see if they are really a narcissist but you actually were starting to care about this person, it will hurt you. But now you know and you need to keep doing the same annoying things they were doing to you. Oh, and if you didn't know them long enough to even start using the words "I love you", this is the right time to start using it. The point is, they were trying to engulf you and he or she will not appreciate you bothering them so much bc you'll be interrupting them from whatever it is they are doing to someone else; at that particular moment. At the same time, just know that they are showing people your communication and telling them that you are chasing and stalking them. Don't worry about that. Focus on the objective. They'll leave you alone indefinitely. When you're no longer hearing from them and a of a sudden you get a hoovering text or call, start texting again that same night- the same as above. But one thing for sure, they won't want you anymore. Most of them think that everyone has the same mindset as them so, when you're behaving desperate like them, imminently they think you're doing it for the same reason that they are...manipulation or to one up them. That's why they'll run away.
i love this girl . destroying narcs is my fav fun time activity . im border line , yup i mop the floor with them just as sacha has said we do . we are the top of food chain , so its lots of laughs . there are so stupid and cowardly its easy
i never wanted to "like" all of the videos of one particular youtuber.. but for your usefull videos i "liked" them all!!! you r nice and pretty.. thank you for making these videos for people..
yup! got rid of a sociopath and 2 narcissists this way. my personal tip, make sure there is a lot of emotion involved. lots of neediness, clinginess and so on. also when i was in 'research mode' with the last one ( i knew what he was and what he was up to but found it somewhat interesting to mine him for information ) i would leave subtle clue about how my ex-boyfriends were afraid of me. ( be was a weak, covert, victim type N ) and then when he would ask about it i would just become very evasive. the reality is my ex's are not afraid of me. but i knew i would have to disengage in a short period. i went through several hoovers with asshole and the last two hoovers i started using counter manipulation to set him up to "dig a deep hole and bury himself". i know that sounds awful but if they think they can get any kind of supply they will never leave you alone. now i am no contact for six months and i have actually developed strategies on how to deal with the various likely manipulations will attempt on me. for example, most likely he will set up some kind of emergency where if i don't respond it will make me look like an uncaring piece of crap. he is getting older, so if he can't get laid and too much time passes ( more than two weeks ) he might still try to hoover me. he lives a block away so my no contact measures have to be really strong. it's just awful. but watching these videos really helps me. thanks!
LMAO...Idk why this is so funny to me!!! I am dying..LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! especially the part about driving to their house and be there waiting for them to get home....I CAN'T!!!!
I know what you mean, dealing with narcs is painful and awful, but looking back, it's undeniable that a lot of my interactions were absolutely comical!!
Sacha Slone I agree b/c now I can laugh at a lot of the things that happened,but at the time, I was crushed. Smh. He's asking my brother about me ..they work together; is that hoovering?
Thinking outside the box lol. I like your ideas and I like how you tell it like it is and aren't afraid that the people who haven't been through this kind of abuse might think you are nuts but you know and we know why you have to do this "crazy shit". We have to become like them in some ways just to get rid of them!
Tell them you want to come over for a network marketing or business proposal presentation for an investment, or just straight up say "I need a loan" and go big like 10 g's; you'll never hear from them again!
lol! getting right in their face - this is how dogs demonstrate dominance over one another and how a person lets the dog know who is the leader of the pack! I love it!
I get the whole reverse psychology thing but becoming a manipulator to get rid of a manipulator? That's like becoming a terrorist to fight terrorism. You can give them too much attention or no attention at all, but in the end I reckon you just need to put emotional and physical distance between yourself and the Narci..
I think there is a big difference between throwing a punch and putting your arm up to block a punch. If interested google Intentional predatory aggression vs defensive aggression. :-) Intentional aggression is desire based vs defensive aggression which is fear based. Self-protection is ethical and moral, IMO! :-D
Like I said, I do get it and I can see how it would work, I guess I just wonder about generalizing narci's and the methods used to deal with them. Surely some of them would use that defensive aggression against their victim to further their cause. I think one needs to look at the narci in question and come up with a plan of action based on the individuals involved. Thanks for helping victims of narci's!
Hi Kevin, Sometimes complicated problems require complicated solutions. People under 18, disabled people, job, etc etc. are all situations where no contact is not an option, and these targets rely on covert counter manipulation to get the abuser to voluntarily disengage. And, I agree about not over generalizing narcissists! I have said this and posted this over 100 times : *all narcs are different and all targets are different* . *What works for one narcissist won't work for them all* ." And that is why I have a playlist with 18 very different counter manipulation tactics. How I get an abuser to leave me alone at work, at a party, in my family, etc will require very different methods. ru-vid.com/group/PLBVIU1q0CbBEk9iowf7J8tZUaFxtdXY1A I appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts! // Very few people are willing to engage in a dialogue. I really appreciate your openness to explore the topic with me. When someone questions what I'm saying, this helps me either reavaluate, take in new information, or helps solidify the argument I'm making. Thanks. I hope you watch more of my vids and I look forward to reading your feedback. [much warmth] Sacha
Thanks to you, again Sacha, for helping people and having an open mind; very few people are willing or able! Thanks also for your feedback, I realize that I do need to take in more of the information you have presented to formulate a more informed opinion. Love and Light to you and everyone having to deal with this very serious and common problem..
Ask a narc or socio to do basic housekeeping for you, post your mail, pick up tampons for you, write an email to your bank about a charge, they will be so indignant you've even asked,, be super duper lazy & very demanding. They'll leg it
No problem, I want narcs to watch and learn about the risk of messing with an educated empath. Please subscribe and share my vids with your friends! :-)
This is hilarious! I'm so doing this! I've been having a really hard time dealing with a couple of very negative and toxic people in my life. I had been avoiding them just like you mentioned and it really wasn't working. This is a great idea. I don't think they are narcissist, but they share some of the qualities of one. However they are definitely highly sensitive about their own feelings and completely insensitive to how they make other people feel when they take their emotions out on other people. I will be doing this so they will leave me alone. Thank you so much for the advice!
You make me laugh.And your right engulfment.My narc has turned into night stalker its too crazy to want to get in its ugly face.Trying to get evidence on it.Love your style🕊🕊💗💗💗💗💗
I think that when a Narcissist or sociopath see you back away, it shows signs of a sensitive response. This could be viewed as an attractive weakness that they may be able to exploit. If subtle things bother the person then maybe it's also difficult for them to tell someone no, or enforce other similar boundaries. My thinking is maybe when you're up in their face, they see you as oblivious to things people are generally uncomfortable about. Invading someone's personal bubble, is telling the Narc or Sociopath, that you are unmoved. This not only makes you more difficult to exploit, but they will also have less control over you. They love control and manipulation. This lack of control, mixed in with not knowing what you might do, might also make them apprehensive if not totally afraid. I also think that perhaps they're like a normal person when it comes to supply. They probably prefer the supply they can't have. If it's too easy, the value goes down. And last, in your face people are just annoying, especially if they like garlic or spit when they talk.
Sacha, I LOVE this! This is a brilliant strategy. (If you remember me, I live with my NM, due to health issues. And it was SHE, that convinced me to give up my apartment and move in "temporarily", for family support [NM & Co-D, spouse]). As soon as I moved in, my NM's demeanor, character, personality, completely changed. She regressed back to the NM I grew up with and hadn't seen this side of her for 20+ years! Since living with NM (and Co-D, spouse), my health conditions increased in severity and I have developed totally new health problems. Not to mention, PTSD, due to the trauma experienced by the sudden betrayal, Triangulation NM orchestrated with her husband (who was like a "father figure" to me since their marriage, also over 20+ years ago), and constant verbal and/or emotional abuse by NM & S.O. Anyway! what is so interesting about this video is the irony regarding your strategy to make a Narcissist go no contact with you (the greatest outcome); and my situation- once I moved in to my NM'S home, for support- she did a total 360, and detached as a mother. Initially, this was not the greatest outcome for me (because of my health and subsequent trauma associated). HOWEVER, this detachment, as a mother, included a complete array of abusive tactics to, essentially, "eliminate", me. NM, can not stand having to see me on a daily basis, under the same roof. It is a "mirror" of who she is, and has become, towards her ailing, adult, daughter. I realized that the reason she invited me to live here, for support, temporarily, was not sincerely for support. It was for Control. But she is unhappy regardless- she is unhappy when I keep to myself and not available to her, to scapegoat. She perceives my unavailability as betraying her "entitled" control of me (as her daughter, I am not a real person, but simply an extension of her. Her "property", expectation of her "ideal" self, etc). And, she is unhappy when I am present and it's obvious I need support. In this scenario, she ignores me, pretends I am not ill (!), etc. Either scenario, she (and Co-S.O.) are abusive, in those insidious ways, abuse can be carried out under the radar, when under the same roof. Where am I going with this? 🤔 Not sure..I guess, I am validating your strategy. And, I am wondering if I should either stick to my tactic of keeping myself removed? Or turn up the (real) need of help? However, I have gotten to the point I want nothing to do with her/them, could never fake worshipping their help (if it ever somehow turned around, by pummeling with need). Oh well, I am a unique case because of my living situation. if you have any suggestions let me know. You are awesome, Sacha, and your style, knowledge & humor when talking about Narcissists- have kept me going- by learning coping strategies, and remembering to keep my sense of humor when dealing with toxic people in my life. TY✌!
I'm happy you enjoyed watching :-) // Not only did my NM "pretends I am not ill (!)" My NM would set me up to injure myself further. vomit. // Your post is very triggering for me. I'm still processing what happened to me. // I hope to make a video [one day] specifically about disabled targets dealing with and/or living with abusive 'caregivers.' // I have a lot to say about this.... I'm going to think more about your questions and reply when I am able to remove my own bias. Thank you for sharing. There are so many targets dealing with this. :-(
+Sacha Slone Hey! I forgot, but just figured out, how to respond to your response, directly (as opposed to replying in the general "public comment" area). Also, I was trying to see if my reply could be 🎶for your eyes only,🎵only for you🎶; but I can't find clear info about how to do this (if it could even be done). Anyway🤓, I really appreciated your response about my situation. I don't know why, but I feel, in a sense, protective, of your feelings because my circumstance triggered, an "all-too-familar", experience of your own. I completely understand where you are coming from, and now I know how much you really understand. I am grateful for your validation. As much as you look out for this community, you also have that personal and professional insight to nurture your own needs (i.e. self care); which includes, timing- when to discuss certain topics on the forum. I admire this in your response, to me. I sincerely, thank you, and have 'much' respect --❤
You know this happened by accident to me and the f&^* narc. I knew she was damaged and so I was even more caring than I'm used to be with other close people. I actually realized she was probably a cluster B, a histrionic, but I just stopped thinking about it. I just wanted the very deep sharing to be fair, both of us sharing a lot, and so I opened up! And she disappeared so when I learned that she was there, on a trip, pretending not to know I was already in the country!!! (WTF) I confronted her (I moved to another country because of her... when I arrived she disappeared) we had a big fight and she said it's because I'm overwhelming and that I demand more than she can give. :) Then of course I was broken and realized what a deep hole I put myself in. Thankfully the new job I got was great and I met a lot of great and kind people, so the new life was good. We stopped talking. She tried to reach me 6 weeks later. I was skeptical, still very hurt, but talked a bit. She confirmed the time of my next visit to the place we would normally meet... I went there, of course she went offline as soon as she saw the update I posted when I arrived HAHA. Then I didn't talk to her. On new year's eve she wrote me like "you never talked to me again but in the name of what our friendship was I though I would wish you a great new year yadda yadda". I was furious. We fight again. I told her I had a panic attack because of our last interaction and was in psychological treatment (which is true, and fucked up the end of the year for me). She was worried and like, told me to stay safe but to "stop with this" :) She tried to be nice again 2 weeks later right before her birthday, and I did wish her a happy birthday, we exchanged messages and then she disappeared again :) And she's a total stalker online, won't like anything but I get the notifications of her visits to my stories. I'm waiting for the best time to block the 2 last social media where she follows me (I blocked her from all others the first time we fighted) her and make her suffer. She cried a lot when I confronted her, hope she cries and hurts for real when I finalize her.
Sacha Slone hmmm so, recently a common friend reached me wanting to be closer. I know there's the flying monkey possibility, but we chatted a bit about life and had a great time. And so the narcissist started to like my pics again... Does it indicate that I'm getting close to a good moment to block her for good? Because she is counting on approximation again through the friend? I really want to checkmate her
Why am I crying and laughing at the same time? Lol! I love your vids! You relieve the tension and stress of being in this type of black hole in a box. You also make so much sense. You keep me engaged. But sometimes I have to rewind because I'm laughing so much that I miss your points. Hahaha! Thank you for sharing your wisdom and your unique way of communicating what could be totally soul-destroying. Thank you. And now I'm totally crying because I felt a break in the dam of so-called "strength" that I've been portraying. I love that you're still smiling and able to maintain a sense of "self." I'm slowly but surely regaining some of my old self. But I also love seeing the new strength I truly have gained. Your vids have been very instrumental to my growth and new emotional "muscles." Thank you.
Been there done that. I also said your delusional or reveal a Narc symptom they do and he was so insulted he went no contact with me. On the way out the door I said hey, if you do it and you were ok with it why are you so sensitive about it? He slammed the door and blocked his phone when calling h on the carpet. But then forgets somehow and comes back 2 to 3 weeks later. For some more?
There are different types of narcissists so I would encourage anyone to make sure that the narcissist that they're dealing with is not one that can pose a danger to them. Some of them can become aggressive and abusive.
I really enjoy your channel, coming from a scapegoat who has and is still on the receiving end of a narcissistic/cluster B(iatch) family member .your videos are super informative and accurate. keep spreading knowledge and awareness- Marco
Hi Marco! I'm sorry you are still dealing with a toxic family member. Please share any pro tips you have tried and had had success with (getting the abuser to back off). // good luck, and thank you for taking the time to comment :-)
my narc is my ex wife. she went no contact for a very long time because i exposed what a terrible mother she was to the whole world. but when her dad died she was bold enough to move back in state not having to deal with his painful criticism. then when my wife and i tried to adopt the kids legally, my narc reentered our lives to stop that. little over a year later i have just been waiting for child support enforcement to go after this mother. she's 13k behind and climbing. they already revoked her passport, dock her checks and take her tax returns. they are about to send out the next volley of enforcement mechanisms.but if she is still unmoved I may have to take some social action. I wish I could afford a billboard. "THIS IS THE FACE OF UNPAID CHILD SUPPORT' not sure that would play well in court, but neither does unpaid child support lol
You provide great advice and insight. Your personality also comes across well on video. Heck, if I saw you in a bar, I would try to talk to get to know you better! Please keep it up! Thanks, Judd
LOL!! ♡ My experience with Red Flag Guy? Mr. Misogyny? He would do that to me, get so close in my face that I had to turn away to breathe! (I was planning to do a part 2 on this Bozo pretty soon:) Love this one! xoxo ♡
I've just discovered your channel doing research on how to remove a toxic person out of my life. I have to say you're very beautiful and love your smile. You remind me of actress Leslie Mann which I love btw. lol Ok, just wanted to share that with you, love your videos they're very helpful to me thank you!
To be quite honest, I've already done what you advised here, short of stalking him at his house, and it's totally worked. I overwhelmed him while he was planning on taking it easy vacationing. I just guilted him out and confronted his bad behavior and it worked!!! I didn't even look crazy. I just told him to cancel everything because I'm not happy. I've got his number.
I tried this with a sociopath I had the misfortune on getting too close on before realizing what person I had met. But in 'tried' I don't mean manipulation. I simply noticed naturally, without reading about it, that she lost control of me when I let go of the strongest emotions within me, which were feelings of love towards her. These were feelings I honestly had towards her and were the strongest I felt in those moments with her. So all I had to do was to not be scared of her manipulation and just let go of my inhibitions against showing it and just let it out. And in those moments, those were the moments she lost control, didn't know what to say and tried to escape the situation. You know what I said in the moment she lost control the most? I simply honestly wished her a "merry Christmas" while she tried to manipulate me and push me down with all her might. And I really wanted that for her. I deliberately focused on me feeling that and not on what she was doing to me in the moment. She became really shaky and tried escaping the situation as fast as she could. So yes, honest emotions held on steadily are truly the narcissist's worse enemy. It just requires a lot of steadiness to be able to stay firm in those emotions without swaying from their constant pushes. And the best part? It isn't even retaliation, manipulation or any of their tactics. It's simply your own, natural and healthy emotions even braver held on to when meeting them because you know what you're dealing with. And you'd be 100% right to. The situation above also made me realize that what narcissists are really afraid of, are all sorts of honest emotions - even positive! Positive emotions are the strongest force in life, so of course we shouldn't give in to them wanting to subdue you in your strongest moments. But that's why they do it. They are afraid of it, because within honest emotions are both good and bad. And they are so afraid of the bad, that they don't want honest emotions at all. And of course you can't pick and choose, we have a whole world of emotions. If you open up, you'll get the good as well as the bad. You can't cherry-pick that, it's all emotions shown or all hidden away.
I'm certain all of these things work. The problem is that targets of narcissists are highly empathic and vulnerable creatures. We do not have the ability to do what you are saying.
The only way to stop contact with a Narcassist is yourself. Honestly I don't know how to do that. For me it's like something like a magnet pulls me to him everytime I try and leave. You can fight till your black and blue but dosn't stop his constant put downs where eventually , you just don't know what to do. Someone told me to break away from him but it's easier said than done.
Did that with my busybody next-door neighbor only this past week before finding this video & now she couldn’t be less intent on spewing gossip & rumors my way. Got no reason to believe she’s not a narcissist & now can’t wait to try this with my real narcissists...
