Dr. Greg Hamlin explains the two major characteristics of the narcissistic personality type and offers some tips for how to communicate more effectively with people who show these characteristics.
Great to hear that!!! I'm about to break free from my cheating narc, but I want to catch them in the act... I will expose them, and will go out with a BANG!!!
ABSOLUTELY NEVER! Your secrets are their ammunition! It has taken me many years and many horrible experiences with narcissists to figure out what has been happening in my life! For years I thought it was me but I thank God for gaining some insight. I'm a work in progress but I'm safer for it.
I noticed that !!!! When ever I would be open and honest or even telling him I'm struggling with something. He would make fun of what I said or made me feel worse for having feelings. It is like I'm not allowed to have feelings only him.
After 1.5 years of being confused and neglected by the narcissist, I sat down, looked him in the eye and tried to communicate my thoughts to him and he could not sit still. He kept walking around doing things, and trying to change the subject, but I kept bringing the subject right back to him, asking him to sit down and looking him in the eye. I could see he was very restless and uncomfortable, but I finally got him to sit down and listen and we had an effective talk... so I thought, until the next day when he told me I came over to his place making demands. After that statement I was done. That was July 5, and I've been done ever since. I learned that there is absolutely no way to reach them. Their thinking is abnormal and distorted.
t is in the Bible, Matthew chapter 10, verses 12-16. Be discerning, be harmless, and eschew evil Don't cause harm, but for your own good and for God's sake, avoid anything to do with a Narcissist like the plague. That is the way to "love your enemy" so to minimize their harm to you without you becoming like them.
When I saw the title, "How to Speak to a Narcissist," my 1st thought was, 'Don't. And don't walk away. Run. Run like Hell is one step behind--because it is.
@@Ronnymikkonen2686 and how do you prove that? Who told you he didn't exist? It is historically proven that he was alive and still lives in many people's hearts. Period.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
It sure does feel great to be away from the Narcssisstic men that I accidentally became their victim.. Now I'm learn n just to not be codependent & be there for myself a lot more
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
I had many narcs in my life from parents, family, coworkers, husbands etc. I can tell you that I have been drugged, and my life threatened many times. They are dangerous.
suki love I respectfully disagree. That sounds more like a person who is trying to intimidate you. I had an experience with a person {male} from our local hospital. Nothing mattered what I said. I ended the conversation abruptly, with the thought that he must be compensating for a little Johnson. No way was I going to let him treat me that way.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
I have two family members like that, insecure and envious yet they brag big time about money and possessions. When I questioned them about their behaviour I got, "We're proud of what we own". See, ya can't win because they think it's 'normal' but if YOU were to brag about money and possessions they would say you have a problem. Can't win, stay away.
There's no point in trying to talk to a narcissist. They're nothing but a headache and not worth your time. Always always always go no contact if you want true happiness and peace. Find a new job, make a new family for yourself. That's what I did and the world is blossoming before me now that I no longer have to deal with these headaches. In my situation the narcissist were a couple people in my family. They succeeded in turning the whole family against me. It was hard but I recognized defeat and walked away from my family. I built a new family for myself with friends, met an amazing man from a wonderful family that embraced me as their own, and we have a beautiful baby on the way! I crawled out of hell and if I can do it, anyone can do it. I was so broken for so long before I went into therapy and found the strength to respect myself enough to walk away.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
JMK that's more of how to deal with a sociopath. Narcs are adult toddlers, sociopaths are insatiable beasts who feast on manipulating for the sheer pleasure (and perceived power) it brings them.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
Every. Single. Time. Turns every conversation around to themselves. Lack of empathy is so apparent if you have the unfortunate experience of knowing them well.
They lead a miserable life. They were shunned as children. Robbed of a happy, healthy chilhood. They resent you if you have fond memories of yours. As adults ... no, as children living in grown-up bodies, they feel so cheated, and are so unhappy that they cannot stand to see others happy. They ascertain who is the weak & make their move, and the life-cycle of the narcissist starts again.
Oh my gosh, you said it. My mother was cold hearted and cruel to me and hurt me constantly. The smallest thing anyone would say to her she would cry and want pity for her hurt feelings. I thought how can you come to me for comfort when you treat me in such a horrible way?
How to speak to a narcissist : Don't. No contact with my Father for over a year has been the best thing I could have done for myself, I am 40 years old.
My mother in law was trying to destroy my marriage. we tried for many years but finally had to walk way from the relationship as well. has improved our life so much... sad...But true!
@@brittanyolson3112 Good for you! I know a mother who pretends she's married to her son not to her husband. The husband feels replaced and sad. The son is stuck without a girlfriend even though he's in his 30's now. Some moms cling. She probably still wants to give him a bath and change his diaper. ;)
Stephen Doty Thank You! I know it was extremely hard on my husband she most definitely is /was jealous of me just for being his wife. She even went as far as being disrespectful to my child ... he is 6. I could never understand why until I started doing research into this topic.
@@brittanyolson3112 Good move. I am constantly amazed at the amount of human sorrow and misery that comes from trying to get along with "family" just because they are "family." It's a trap. I cut off relations with backstabbers and bad-mouthers and envious, negative influences, whether they are related to me or not. And I encourage others to do the same. Your own private role models are your own inner peer group, I think. They feel more like family too. ;)
My dad is a narcissist. Growing up with someone who lacked any empathy was very difficult, especially during times when I would get bullied at school instead of empathizing with my suffering he would blame it on me. "I bet people don't like you because YOU'RE the one who's an awful person." "It's your fault that person kicked you and called you ugly because you didn't kick them back." The advice in this video is very sound, and has been the only way I can ever communicate with him without feeling like I'm losing my mind.
And, this is why I hurt them every chance I get. You wanna play? No problem, let us play! I frustrate them, because at some point I stop giving a damn..." Plain, and simple!"
My EX-husband, does see why he should pay child support... there's nothing in it for him! Has never purchased gifts for his children (2 of them), claims he has no money. However, he _does_ go out & spend hundreds of dollars on cocaine to make _himself_ feel better?? Wonders why his children hate talking to him on the phone. It's all about him. *sigh
Narcissistic “personality” is literally how I imagine a demon would behave if it were just released from Hell and manifested itself as human. Even the “way” he teaches you to “deal” with them (looking them confidently in their eyes, not being passive, avoiding their tricks [wtf?], etc.) is exactly how someone would expect to deal with a demon...think about it.🔥👿😆
that is very true cause when I was married to a narcissistic husband the one time we were intimate and the last time we were I looked at him and all I could see was the devil in his eyes and soul peering down at me. I said get off of me and never were we intimate again or slept in the same bed.
That's completely untrue. Everyone here needs to re-evaluate themselves and instead of attacking others perhaps they can take a moment to actually learn and understand how to deal with people. There is no conversation if you are an idiot. Simple
How to speak to a narcissist? Read a letter over their grave explaining their abuses - it would have the same affect on them as telling them in person. But at least this time you would know why they were ignoring you.
bob si dog so true...ive said this to people before. ...At least if their dead they finally would have to listen to me...we could have a conversation .
Also, thank you for recognizing the less sensationalized narcissist. It’s validating to hear about levels of narcissism that are not overwhelmingly abusive or malignant. Over time or being raised by a covert narcissist has very demoralizing affects and the loss of self is hard to recognize because the abuse is not as obvious.
I have several narcissists...family!! My mother, brother and daughter.....dear Lord...I've had to extricate myself from their lives....i miss them but I don't have the stress in my life. ..
Tracey Mixon same! A family full of Narcissists is a blasted nightmare. I cut some out 16 years ago and it’s GREAT! They are twisted souls, with no remorse. And they love to play games. No contact has been wonderful.
I know what you mean. How sad. I just realized today that my son is a narcissist. Ive done so much for him and when i stopped helping him out he treated me like dirt.Thought I'd give him the tough love thing. Talking to me in such hurtful ways. I feel like i have a knife in my heart, and the hurt just doesnt go away. He never apologizes. My older sister has been this way for years never taking blame, or never admits any wrong doings. I walked away from her, but its hard to do that with my son. : (😥😔
Yes same here now I hv my daughter in law added to the list n I find my son is also little bit same where to find peace it's difficult I find so many of them in this world now being with these ppl I feel I m also going to include my self to the list for dealing with for so many years u hv had the opportunity to run but I can't not possible
@@iniubongnkanga9390 I wouldn't disply his personal info like that while also mentioning that he's a hacker doing probably not 100% legal stuff all the time. Plus he could get prank calls etc, I'd really delete that and just say that people can ask you for his info. :)
This will work with people with inflated egos, but any conversation you have with a true narcissist will only be used against you later. Refuse to deal with them and delete them from your life, they are broken, dangerous, and not real human beings.
*sigh* i married one four years ago... at the time it seemed as if he is just quite opinionated.... dont want to separate... must bite the bullet, pray alot, and learn 😯
you can't delete your boss when you've been with a company for 10+ years. The techniques described in this video have worked efficiently in allowing me to stay employed with even the worst of employers. In other cases, yes I agree, no contact is the best path to your salvation, but that isn't always an option.
An older gentleman once told me: " If you want to know what kind of person you're dealing with, whether on a date or a business meeting....watch how they talk to their server in a restaurant, or in any service related industry, in that setting people tend to reveal their 'true selves'"
Unless you have a strong, committed familial tie to the narcissist, the best way to handle them is to completely disassociate yourself from them just as soon as you discover that they are narcissistic. They can be very vengeful, so make this break from them in a subtle, non-confrontational way.
RKWWW Good thing i don't have a strong familial tie with my Narcissistic sister ( 7 years younger than me) I left home when i was 14 y/o for an entirely different reason and never looked back. Found out my now 51 y/ o sister is a covert Narcisisst. She is TOXIC and avoid her lkke a plague since 4 yrs ago now
When you have a strong familial tie, it’s harder to “cut them out entirely”. But it’s still up to you - if you have to do it for a time, no one can tell you you can’t- they will try though. It’s an opportunity to learn boundaries. But it’s really hard. Worth it to learn personal boundaries. Helps in all aspects of life.
You simply avoid them at all costs. Malignant narcissists are extremely dangerous. You can very easily tell once you have been damaged by one - it is nothing you forget.
Lisa Rice , exactly. No matter how you speak to a narcissist, they will turn everything around to be right. I know, my sister is a narcissist and the less I have to do with her, the better.
its so convenient to call out everyone a narcist to just not have to handle the argument. when you call others narcists chances are very big you are yourself a big one!
That's exactly what they do. I discovered recently that my father and older brother are heavily narcissistic. Father passed on the traits to his older son. Whenever someone from outside the family appears, they turn into angels with melodic voices who act like they're victims of their own created circumstances. Then behind closed doors, they show their devil sides like professional Olympians, and NO ONE outside ever knows who they are without the mask. They even put on their masks to other people right in front of you, not caring that you know exactly who they are, you're just not telling the person anything. They're amazing actors. But try to make them look bad in front of those people, which I've done before with a heated head, and that's when you finally pierce through their stone hearts.
Tan Tan One thing I think everyone should learn is not to interpret what other people are saying unless it's obvious through their tone of voice or they say it themselves. Way too many people these days analyze what others say as if they can read minds and look for hidden meanings in their words for some odd reason. Don't bother doing that, because you don't know what that person meant by "Mine," and there's no emphasis on "Mine," otherwise that word would be written in all Caps. That comment doesn't actually lead anyone to think anything but what is written on it. Never make a movie in your head that doesn't exist.
Love your videos! I've realized that you can't even talk to a narcissist because they will turn everything around or lie so you can't even have a conversation with them.
I don't know how I managed to live so long having never encountered, or spent enough time to recognize, a narcissist. To those on this thread who have successfully extricated yourselves, bravo. To those still trying, I send you hope and comfort and prayers you will soon be free and happy.
IF they're narcissists, asking them to "put themselves in your position" probably wouldn't work. Narcissists lack empathy and thus tend to say "That's your problem, not mine".
Since day one, every problem with his nasty family has been put on me! He has to share not part in it. Thank heaven I have faith, love and trust in the Lord, otherwise who knows where I could have been. Hang in there and keep strong. Don’t let them win. They are idiots. Even animals feel you, how can a human be so low...
They are not great listeners and speak over you when talking. They also deflect and jump from topic to topic. When trying to get clarification, they constantly ramble, leaving you more confused
To those commenters which speak to saying "goodbye" or leaving or getting away from the narcissist, please be mindful that this is not always possible! Its great advice if it works out like that, but not everyone is in a place to escape. Thank you for this video from those of us who aren't quite able to say "goodbye" to our narcissistic affiliations at this time! It is helpful!
I live beside my ex in a granny flat in his property. Theres a huge housing crisis and i have parkinsons. Together with my old dog....i have to find strategies. Thank you for your information. Bless
U can't have a relationship w a narcissist. One of the best moments in my life was when I told my narc sister that I really didn't care what she thought about anything...
I just stopped talking to mine. My life has improved greatly. No more hurt feelings. Took me decades to realize she doesn't love me, her mother, her brothers. Finally, came to understand why they including her mother, were always angry with her. I thought it was just me. She loves her daughter and grandchildren but I'm guessing as possessions. Perhaps the closest she can feel to "love". Nothing that happens to you can she relate to unless it happens to her later and then she gets it. No empathy. Frankly, I think she's a sociopath, but when she's pulling something she actually seems nervous about it (getting caught), so she doesn't quite fit the definition. On the other hand I think all she could think about with our terminal cancer brother was why didn't he just die already, for the insurance he left her daughter. Too far to visit (30 miles) when he was alive, but in his house looking for the insurance policy while the corpse was still warm. Narcissism with a little sociopathy thrown in???? That was when I was done. Oh, and she raided his house for all the stuff. Loves money and stuff over people.
Thanks for your video. Individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder cannot be fixed. There is nothing to fix. They are a shell with zero inner workings. Everything is surface. There is no empathy nor compassion to be found within these types. They are relentlessly selfish and self-serving. The only effective way to deal with them is to remove yourself completely with zero contact in the future, unless there are extraordinary circumstances, like shared children. Leave your narcissist today and don't look back.
"Extraordinary circumstances" equate to excuses. You are doing your patients a disservice by encouraging them to continue to take the abuse. I hope you are not a narc and that you take all the comments left on this page, REAL LIFE comments, quit ignoring all these people who are victims of narc abuse and LISTEN. Not everything comes from books, there is a great deal to be said about life experiences of which you clearly have none in this area.
They dont need to be fixed, they are always right. Which means that everyone else is always wrong. If you’d just do what they tell you, there wouldn’t be a problem
I'm dealing with a narcissistic family ! The whole lot of them are cut out from the same cloth. I haven't slept well in months. I'm so stressed for such a long time that I can't think straight. I was a sweet and loving person, sympathizing with people, thinking goodness changes people ... it doesn't Been 3 years nothing changed. Anything I saw is held against me. The "blame shifting" is a constant thing in every conversation. I have a toddler. I can't just walk out. I feel like their toxins are getting to me I'm constantly sad and my mind is fuzzy. I can relate to every word you say. I almost has a mental breakdown because of never getting heard and always every attempt I tried to have a conversation to sort things, was turned around into a blame . You can't simply walkout on your in-laws, can you ! Specially if you have kids. I wish I could disappear. Run away and never come back but my kid might blame me when she grows up.
How about just NOT dealing with them? Being gracious to them means having to be strong as hell all the time. Nothing works. Not one damn thing except total avoidance.
Thank you Dr. Greg for not endorsing a competition with the narcissist. I have to deal with one every day at work and want effective boundaries without losing empathy myself. The battle, it seems, is to not become like them.
Narcissists are a breed all by themselves. I am done trying. why would one waste their energy on them. I have for 64 years. And I am so done. These are cruel people who take pleasure in ones hurt. No thanks!
Mine is my son! He is soon to be 35 years old. I was clueless until he had his son and then purposely made sure to bring me into his life, to take him away, just as suddenly and then sent me a CERTIFIED letter, to inform me that I am no longer family. Long story, but I agree - Do NOT waste your energy on them (even if it is your own child)!!!
Awwwww thanks! It has been several years now. But, in the beginning it was like mourning a death. I suddenly came to realize that my son wasn't who I had fooled myself to him being. The signs were all there, but I choose to ignore them. My husband saw them, but he isn't his father, so it was hard for him to say anything. THANKFULLY I have my husband who treats me very well. I came to realize and understand that my ex-husband fed poison to my son and his relatives (who I foolishly believed was family to me). Just a few years ago, my ex-sister-in-law who I thought we were still always friends all these years, informed me (after I refused to give her son a few thousands dollars for his debt) that she NEVER thought of me as family and then suddenly informed me that I was a "deadbeat mother" and she literally had a dollar amount that she felt I owed my ex-husband (mind you, we purchased the home they lived in, I bought five cars for my son throughout the years, and we would hire my ex-husband if he was ever out of work, to make sure that he was making money). I never in a million years would have believed that if one treats others as they would like to be treated, that the exact opposite would happen. I was blind! I think I am finally at the acceptance stage, but I still break down and cry and sometimes think/hope that my son will come around (as all the outsiders insist on telling me will happen). I know with my head that it is a lost cause and I will never know my grandson. And, my son will certainly never be the same person to me.
Hi there, I was wondering if you could help me with something. I'm trying to figure out if my father is a narc. I'm 80% certain he is but I can't seem to trust myself. However, the thing that got me searching was the realisation that he is constantly lying about things there's no need (in my mind) to lie about. Alcohol, for example. On holiday he gets tipsy to drunk 5/7 nights, but he next day will say he was poorly dehydrated. And my sister caught him looking through my phone so I went upstairs to confront him, and at first he actually tried denying it even though he had my phone in his hands. Later, he told my sister off for 'snitching' and 'making things up.' Does this sound like a narcissist to you? I just need second opinions please. Thanks
I used to describe interaction with my father was like trying to nail jello to a wall. When he started targeting my son I cut contact. Best decision I've made regarding him.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
Same here. Although my mom is the enabler, father narc. Brother is the “golden child.” I’m 41 and just beginning to educate myself about how to deal with all the trauma.
I'm in mourning too...6 weeks till my 40th birthday and I've just developed boundaries through mindfulness. Am out of the fog but so very sad at the waste and loss.
Nathalie Dufour Please don't consider your life a waste - that's what narcissists want. I had an extremely narcissistic mother who made a point of telling everyone at my brother's funeral that she was looking forward to watch the last episode of MASH on TV that night! People like our mothers are highly destructive but you can choose not to be destroyed by them - it really can be done!!!
Our worth doesn't come from people, but God the father. He created you, and only He can heal you. My husband is a son of narcissist parents, and it hasn't been easy. Healing takes time. But none of us is a mistake.
I'm sick of these messed up people who have no ability to love or be loved. I don't have to put up with them, my mother is a sociopath. No contact. They are soulless not human.
Like walking dead (with tombstones in their eyes). Though they can fake being nice and charming. It's all an act..pretending. Love is a tool they use to con people.
I once asked my husband to please put himself in my shoes and try to see where I was coming from. His response blew me away. He said the only shoes he was putting himself into were his own.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
You can't win a conversation or argument with them and walking on egg shells around them constantly can get very old. That is a codependant trait. I will avoid talking to them at all. Be careful they will pump you for any and all information about you and your life. Twist it and use it against you in a shocking moment of anger. Best to completely pull out of the relationship when possible. Even if it's a family member.
Teresa Pedicone Yes. I agree. After a lifetime growing up with a narcissistic and sociopathic mother, I FINALLY freed myself for good. I had to move out of state to do it and get away from her. Then I had to block her on the internet and phone/cellphone. I tried everything I could for years to mend the relationship and make it respectful/equal, but nope. She enjoyed controlling and emotionally tearing me (and many other people, both family and friends). I grieved that I never had a mother, and I never will. What I've had to do to make it a little easier when my emotions/thoughts come up, is pretend that I'm an orphan. I felt like that all my life, so it was easier to think of things that way. I wasted too much of my life with these failed attempts that ended up with her emotionally (and when I was a kid, physically) abusing me. I'm living away from everything and everyone I've ever known now. Just me and my cat. Trust has been broken so much that I struggle with it still. I mainly just keep to myself.
Jora Kitty - Same, except the narcissist was my father. My mother was so codependent that she neglected me. I was extremely blessed to have had a grandmother, or I would have had no one growing up and likely would have turned more inward than I have. I, too, have found that coming to the realization that I am essentially living as an orphan does - without parents in their life - is better for my mental health. They behave as though I don't exist, so it's become easier to just pretend that they aren't there, either. Otherwise, I'd live like a broken-hearted person, which was how I did live until the last 10 years, and feel that I have no value. But I *do* have value, and so do you.
@@cheekychops1800 not always, I try be open and tell people, at the end, I don't believe I'm too different. Everyone does things that benefit them in some way.
I’m a narcissistic human BUT very empathetic & self aware of my tendencies as well. I do understand his way of explaining and being that language shapes perception you need a label to explain the characteristics of human tendencies. Being that we are the awareness, once we become self aware of that, the true change & characteristic of the individual will Come if they choose to. “The difference between a social path & someone who’s highly aware, is the intention behind this actions” -Rp
I totally agree with this. You need to be confident, firm, direct, don't let them get off the topic, repeat yourself if you have to. They do not do empathy. If you cry beg plead ...you could die in front of them and they wouldn't care...it's like a game you need to cut through the bs. The attention span thing so true to. I've been coming to all these conclusions but having them articulated helps a lot.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
I've got a daughter in law whose favorite thing to say is, "what will you do for me?" I've started asking her the same question just to show her the road is a 2 way street.
This works too but you end up not liking the person you have become in the long run by trying to be on their level of deprivation, sadism and arrogance etc.
@@disabledbabe That is the best idea, simply show people that they will get what they give. It also shows them that we see their actions and behaviour for what it is and it's empowering for us. As for not liking the person, we usually don't like people who make us feel disempowered so empowering ourselves is the key.
@@disabledbabe that’s a fairytale sentiment.. the honest truth is yes you can stoop down to their level real quick and kill them at their own game.. then you turn it off and go back to being a normal person.. how tf are you going to tell me to run away from another human are you serious??
BUT when things go wrong in their lives, they sure beg and get empathy and sympathy everywhere... they NEVER give, they just get, and then forget they were ever needy of course.
I have done that, it didn't work. I actually said "Well, time for some cycling".. He immediately put up a fight calling me crazy to want to exercise right after launch. No, a fight is not the right word, because I didn't even have a chance to participate, so it's actually an attack. He started shouting alone, out of the blue (because he knew he was losing his victim right when he needed it). He was literally screaming out of his lungs. To the point that my ears were ringing.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
I had a nervous breakdown on my 40th and thats when i realised my mum is a narcissist. I learnt to set boundaries with my mum, i have no contact now with her 4 months now. She is very stubborn.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
I have found that traveling with a narcissist on a trip can be difficult. They seem to want schedules that suit their needs right through from dating needs to tourist attractions
I’m not tiptoeing around some narcissistic person- They can kiss my behind-! If they want to be a Queen or King -they better go and find someone who wants to be with them because it’s not me-!
"...don't be defensive, don't be sarcastic..." Yes! I've learned this the hard way from dealing with my narcissistic parent all my life. I'd also add that narcissists don't do well with playful teasing. Most of us, when we feel comfortable with someone, will playfully tease them from time-to-time. It's a show of affection & trust. But in my experience, narcissists don't process playful teasing as such, they take it literally and get upset. If you explain you were just being playful they don't always believe you. Narcissists tend to be on guard, always eager to protect their ego.
Angel La Canfora, this so true, it's as if you have to double think all the time, sort of like talking to a child except it just isn't cute God , they just don't get it, here's a quote I hear many times a day. Me: " You've got a point" etc. etc. - Narc. "Of course it's true, I said it" What a load of bullshit.
My mother in law is a narcissist. I have been trying to say things more confidently and being indifferent about my feelings. Before I used to feel victimized now I know the problem is not part of me. This has helped a lot thank you.
Tears of sadness my daughter in law labeled him a,narcissist I have always known he,was different and extremely difficult I was always trying to figure out,his problem I never knew what was wrong. After listening to you in 100% he is what his wife said a NARCISSIST I never could figure out why I got all the blame i was harsh as a mother an blamed myself but never could undo the past. But I know this is not all me he's got problems. I hurt for him so much I hurt for his little girl I hurt for myself too. Thank you for your input.
Cuz they can't think to answer a question. It's the weirdest thing to think these ppl can't or won't converse to live a life of deep joy. Sad existence.
Some talk about themselves int the third person, as in, "No, Jane Doe doesn't roll like that. I need to work on my brand, the whole Jane Doe enterprises idea, in case I get products to sponsor or sell in my name some day."
It is incredible how many of my neighbors and relatives have just been described here. Trying to have a good conversation is worse than a rectal exam. And afterwards.... the pain from the interaction remains for some time. Thanks for the hints .
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
...and when I have a weak moment of self doubt, I remember how floored I was when I discovered how EXACTLY SPOT ON these descriptions/testimonies were compared to my situation. Word? So ALLLLL of us jus feelin sorry for ourselves? FOH lol p.s. "nailing jello to a tree" made me giggle idk why specifically that one I think the visual in my head maybe 💁😂😂
I do not believe they don't know what they're doing because much if not all of it is premeditated and well thought out. Also my brother and both parents are narcissists. 2 overt 1 covert. They don't care how u feel, u can talk till ur blue in the face. They don't care if they destroy ur life, the only one that matters to them is them. No contact is the best method.
No, his definition is spot on, your parents are sociopaths. THEY KONW WHAT THEIR DOING. A Narcissist can truly psychologically not. This is widely accepted in the psychological community.
I agree ,they are aware of what they are doing . the goal is to control and if that doesn't work insert as much torture and pain as possible to the target . they aren't stupid ! they are crazy ,mean ,and toxic .
Thank you! This is useful and realistic advice for handling narcissistic people for those of us who either don’t have the privilege of going no contact, or opt not to.
I stumbled upon this video and was so glad that I did. I've read through people's comments here and am grieved that there are so many that have given up on narcissistic people. Although, I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND! One of my son's is married to one of these types and it has caused so much pain in the family! This video helped me to see my very own son (not the married son) who is on the brink of adulthood. He can be the sweetest young man in the world, but, honestly, looking back, he was always a narcissist. Had I known more about this before he was even born, I could have changed so much of the way we raised him! I just had no idea that he had this 'disorder'. He is always kind and respectful to the public, but at home and among close friends, he is completely self-centered. I know he loves his parents very much, but he does not have an empathetic thought outside of 5%. This video has given me some ideas, some tools, to perhaps begin to help him before he launches off on his own. If we don't get anywhere, then maybe the US Marine Corps will help. :)
Xander Taylor That's right. When I catch a cold, my husband tells me, "I don't understand how you're sick. I didn't get sick. I never get sick." Oh geez. As much as I try to explain how we are ALL different, he doesn't understand. 🙄
so... who actually is the narcissist? Why should another even think about you in the first place? Afterall, they are wrapped up in themselves as much as you are wrapped up in yourself. I;m starting to understand what this Atifa stuff is about now. gimme gimme gimme ,,,, but don't take dont take dont take.
I found this video interesting and on point. Also found the comments on point as well. The 'talking over' in a conversation, always the 'me me me' conversation, changing the subject when we talk, the victim and tantrums, being nice when they feel like they have to, to get their way, lack of empathy. Overall very sad. I always say you can learn so much by listening ...
Mine does that all the time. Forgets he actually starts it all every time. They make out you literally just walk up to them and start for no reason, when in reality, it's your reaction to what they deliberately started. It's a helpless feeling, because they also twist everything 🌹🌻
You’re one too, everyone is. This is sadness en mass people don’t have back bones anymore. Parents and teachers reward children for doing nothing. Everyone is too sensitive. The world is a vampire. People need to stop being such safe space feel bots and grow a pair. Rome wasn’t built by the wimps it was built by the narcissists!
Hint # 1 They will NEVER say "I WAS WRONG" Only took me 44 years of hearing fake "I'm Sorry" Ask the person "Every believe you were WRONG?" Their Answer "Why?" And "NO!" Then Run for your life ASAP!
Cassandra Todd Carraway if it's a parent and they come close to any kind of apology it's followed with a ...."but..." ALWAYS going to point the finger back at you, never take responsibility for hurting you, and will make sure to come out the victim and Victor every time
Yes, that's why you extridite them from your life. It's hard when it's a parent, but until you can physically get away, block them from your mind. I had a therapist recommend sitting them down and telling them their words hurt me and to please don't say them. I told him if I did that, they'll use it against me. He didn't believe me. The next time they used it, I moved out. That's the only way - remove them from your life as much as possible and never tell them they hurt you; that's like a sport to them. I don't have them, I just never have any real conversations with them. You must FEEL it in your bones that these people have a little something off about them, right? Never let your guard down.
Thank you for the insightful explanation..your explanation is so on point with nothing to distract from the subject matter. I’m an old lady and I’m recognizing several people from my past and present with your apt descriptions.
I believe in their manipulation. they do reflect that's why their attacks are so vicious to the core they know how it feels. If you have to be around them limit your time emotional outputs concerning contact before the meetup say a prayer. or meditate with a good breathing exercise this method will assist you when you are dealing with a mentally ill person 🙏
Actually, they are self absorbed (many confuse this as reflecting), ah no. And they choose to abuse and know exactly what they are doing. They are psychopathic abusers, not mentally ill. And they use the term “mentally ill” as an excuse (reason) to abuse.
"Put yourself in my place." "Well, I would never BE in your place" Narcissists know that they are so much better that they are above being in your shoes.
I have to disagree that a narcissist doesn't know or understand what they are doing. They absolutely know what they are doing...and its intentional. The hurt and the pain is intentional! Live with one....and you will know!
Precisely !!, A better realization is ; THEY don't see anything wrong with their actions. TOTAL self absorption, and total contempt for any distraction from that absorption. Eventually when you realize how narrow and pitifully selfish they are, YOU are ready for a profoundly disturbing realizations ( BY this time they have already gotten rid of you ) THAT you wasted a lot of positive energy, and you nether liked or really loved them....none can.
The wisdom in these comments is truly amazing This man would do well to copy and use them. This is a priceless compilation of experience and insight. You dear people have described my brother precisely! I am copying ALL of your comments. Thank you commenters, most sincerely. You have all been a blessing to me today. Maranatha!
I'd just like to Thank YOU so much for this video post. 10 minutes and filled with much information I have searched for my "whole" life. Raised by a Narcissistic Mother, having a Narcissistic sister
I was in a relationship with a narcissist and it was the best but then worst relationship of my life. my intuition was going crazy everyday. trust your intuition and get out of that relationship as soon as you can.narcissists lie, cheat and manipulate and the list goes on and on. I have been discarded and I'm glad it's over. if you are with a narcissist get out now.
It is a grave mistake to empathize with a malignant narcissist you have to act with the same caution one would take to avoid the risk of getting mugged or robbed of their valuables. you just have to protect your psyche the same way.
Interesting qualification: a narcissist will not empathise however a sociopath will. The one is blind to the welfare of others whereas the other deliberately abuses it. I've found that the best way to deal with narcissists is to always speak the truth to them no matter how much it hurts them and never protect them from the consequences of their actions -- allow them to suffer them. They'll probably bite at you for doing this but the crushed ego will benefit them.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
Fully agree, and as spiteful as it sounds to say, I'm finally in a position to not care about what the narcissist thinks of me and I ADORE knocking him off of his pedestal. Beautiful thing. Lol ♥️
