About the smelling "bad": I would also encourage ppl to drink. Drink enough water daily. The smell of your huha is going to be stronger if you drink too little.
"I'm not a sex educator, I'm just going from personal experience." IMHO this is the best kind of advice. Yes, the 'sex educators' have education and training, etc but there is such a thing as too much education. I would rather speak with (and have a new experience) a 'normal person' than some 'expert.'
I’ve heard when u go down on a girl for the first time you can ask her to hold your hand and when it feels good she can press it so you can find the good spots😊
Im asexual, but, my gay asf friend has no idea how this stuff works and is too embarrassed to look anything up or see anything- So now it’s my job… It’s nice how not awkward you are about this- It makes it easier to watch and understand. So on my friends behalf, thanks.
I ain’t homosexual, but I’m just a citizen who wants to be educated. 👌 Edit: It’s been a year, and guess what? As some may’ve suspected, I may be a bit gay.
Also in my experience, "tasting bad" doesn't really matter. If it's a little bitter, it'll go away within about a minute. After that it's smooth sailing and delicious.
can i just mention how fantastic it is that there are good subtitles? Im HOH so I usually watch videos hella loud so I can understand, but these subtitles saved my life. Thank you, QUEEN!
I recently came out as bisexual and this is my first pride month out of the closet. Thank you Keara for being such a good role model for me and all the other queers in the closet and out of the closet ❤️🏳️🌈
I’m glad people are more open talking about sex now, especially with same sex couples etc rather than just straight sex and abstinence. I’m glad that I didn’t listen to my parents when they told me that I had to wait until marriage (with a guy who is Christian) to have sex. I’ve found out that I hate having sex with a guy so I’m glad I discovered that before getting married (I’m not thinking about marriage at all but was good to find that out). Thanks for this video. Also I’m low key attracted to you haha
@War Dog Start writing intelligent comments instead of being hateful for absolutely no reason. Oh wait you can't do that cause you have the thinking capacities of a dead oyster and you re so unhappy that you feel the need to bring other people down right?
@@KearaGraves People with Vulvas is a disrespectful Term to use for a Woman. People with Vulva is an offensive Thing to call a Woman. Its objecting Women and reduces Women to our reproductive Organs.
@@tobumuzzer9490 that's actually the opposite, using this term shows that being a woman is more than having a vulva. You can have a vulva and be socially seen as a man. And you can not have a vulva and still be a woman.
I'm going on 20 years as an innocent loner who was raised Mormon, so until a few months ago I knew basically nothing. This was so freaking helpful I can't even tell you; the more I learn the more confident I get with thinking about things I was taught was a sin to think about. Thank you so much!
these videos help me so much. i’m bi and i’m coming out to my parents soon (maybe today)! wish me luck! update- i came out and my parents both supported me! i wrote a note to them and left it outside their door after they went to bed. the next day they both hugged me and told me how proud of me they were and that they love me
For hat person wondering if they had an orgasm: - no, you don't necessarily know if you had one. Some people struggle to know even if they had plenty - Masturbation orgasms can feel very different to partner-sex-orgasms It would have helped me to know these things earlier, so maybe it helps someone who reads this
Hi, that's great what you wrote. Btw you look fantastic, anybody will be privileged to have u as a partner and/or lover :) being a straight guy, I always loved going down, female orgasms and those are my things. What advice for speaking more about this? Do you find it easy? And I'd love to ask more about your orgasms
1 I haven’t changed my name and pfp on my account yet I am a lesbian 2 it is a pain because when they don’t teach it and they only teach “straight sex” it’s hard to figure out what to do I feel you
@@depressedaxolotlbean5610 yeah it can keep you in the closet for longer than needed. It sucks that they only teach straight sex. I hate that there’s a norm. I wish the lgbtq+ community could have more representation in school. We shouldn’t have to be clueless and unprotected because health classes can’t accept the fact that gays exists.
As a straight male, these tips are not just for the LGBTQ community. This is a great, to the point, simplistic explanation of just being with your significant other. 👍
As a straight male, I stumbled on this video simply based on the title, lol. My wife and I have been together for almost 18 years and I'm still just always looking for ways to make it better. You have some really good advice for the oral part that I either didn't know or had forgotten. Thank you! (PS with kids in the house it's easy to get rusty in the bedroom due to lack of opportunity)
@@minceraftfornite4334 they went from from 👩->👨 so they have no penis but they can get it from this medicine thing or surgery but I'm not trans I just know a bit but not a lot
@@minceraftfornite4334 it means that at birth, the doctor assigned them as "female." But now they are male. And what he also means that he has no 🍆 down there since they have not medical transition their genitals. And it is also fine to not medical transition If people are a trans male, or female! Ps: not trans but im still learning.
When you were talking abt your partner judging your body, I remembered something my partner said the day after. They just GUSHED about how amazing they thought I looked. They literally used the word "immaculate" (it was our first time together. I was so worried abt if they'd be happy with how I looked, but them going on and on abt how happy they word killed all my nerves
Got it in my requests for 3 years now even before I knew about my sexuality. I ignored it through different phases of my life exploring me and my sexuality knowing I'm queer for 2,5y now. I'm giving in and watching it now, it's okay algorithm, you got me
Phew. I recently discovered I was asexual so I was super nervous about watching this video lol. I questioned my entire existence because I was curious. Thanks for answering a lot of them lol
i love the bush i just trim it so less chance of hairs sticking in my teeth. can be a sexy time but don't lick it after the cutting .wait until the loose hair is washed down the drain.
I’m actually glad yt recommended this to me. My one and only relationship in the 20+ years I’ve been alive was extremely traumatic, especially around sex. It ended two years ago, and then I figured out months later I had severe sex-related trauma. Since then I’ve never wanted to date anyone again or get intimate w anyone, which…for a long long time included just me on my own. I’m still healing and pondering if I might actually be ace or just traumatized, but this was a nice stop on the path to getting better :) I love your attitude and how you present things as natural as if you were talking about the weather. The main issue we had was definitely communication, which is both my fault and my ex’s. They also made me feel unsafe and self conscious many times, but I’m gay and fucking stupid lol I pushed past it (don’t do that)
If your sex-related issues are due to trauma or because you are ace, healing from your trauma won't do anything bad anyways And after that, you won't have any doubts about anything. I hope you get okay soon 🫶 (English is not my first language sorry for any mistakes)
I went to Catholic school, and we did not get any sex ed, let alone queer sex ed (and my family, as far as I can remember, never talked with me about it). I'm 21, have never had sex with anyone, and only just realized I'm sapphic, so resources like this are so so helpful! Thank you so much! You've got yourself a new subscriber! :)
I once tried scissoring with a girl cause it was something we both wanted to try but no matter how much we kept trying and changing positions, we never got it right and I was just kind of disappointed. I was kinda like "wow, porn lied to me" 😹
My girlfriend and I were just having a conversation about how we need to look for lesbian sex Ed videos because we’re sad they’re aren’t enough, like, yesterday, and this is the vidoe I thought of, low and behold, here it appears on my recommendation. This is great
@Phantom Quest what the actual fuck is going on. who they are then? chairs or who. maybe you should stop your misogyny and finally call women women. we were fighting so long so word “woman” become not a bad shameful word, but y’all bringing us back to where we started.
Really inspiring seeing someone who doesn’t care about getting monetized No but in all seriousness this is a really helpful video. As a trans woman this video isn’t 1:1 for what my sexual experiences are like, but it’s definitely still helpful. I struggle with sex because of dysphoria and because a lot of people who I pursue romantically are interested in having sex with someone with a vagina, but I like, don’t have one.
If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your sexuality? I love learning about a wide range of experiences, but definitely don’t answer that question if you aren’t comfortable. :)
@@esanalgona1160 I usually self identify as bisexual, but I guess that isn’t entirely accurate. I usually struggle to be sexually attracted to non-binary people, because I want to take care of them and help them be cozy, but sexually I like partners that can overpower me and take control. But there are a few non-binary people I’m attracted to. Though if your question was just whether I was interested in men at all, I am! I can say with a great degree of confidence that I’m attracted to men and women. I only hesitate to say bisexual because I am attracted to some people that would make pansexual a more accurate label, but like I said, those people are typically exceptions, and I find binary gender more sexually attractive.
@@JyujinPlus how interesting, I am a cisgirl and bi as well!! Twins lmaoo 😏. That’s so cool tho that u know who you are attracted to or at least an idea. Anywho, I do have a question for you, and I really hope it’s not offensive, if it is you don’t have to answer. I just want to know if you feel if it is transphobic to not be attracted to trans people, bc of the mismatching of genitalia. I think you answered this in your OG comment, but I just wanted to outright ask. Again I’m so sorry if this is crossing the line, I just want to know your opinion as a trans woman based on your perception of sexuality and experiences.😄
@@esanalgona1160 I personally don’t think it’s transphobic to not be attracted to trans people, mostly because it’s really hard to control what you are attracted to. Even as someone who is attracted to trans people, I kind of approach sex differently with vaginas in mind than I do penises, so expecting one and finding the other would throw off the stuff I get excited about. I definitely think it sucks when people aren’t attracted to trans people, it’s a bummer. But I wouldn’t say it’s transphobic. It’s not too different from a cis woman being straight: it’s a bummer that they aren’t interested but it’s not something they chose.
@@Mendoxs_ They're not harmful but meant for use on the vulva, or the outside part, not recommend for use inside the vagina or penetration. They're generally not viscous enough and I've gotten yeast infections when using flavored lube for penetrative sex. You should try it out if you're a bit iffy about taste.
ok but like i actually appreciate this so much keara, thank you!! i love how you don't treat it as a weird thing and how open you are about this topic. (also, i love your hair omg)
This is very tied into the whole communication theme, but if all participants are OK with it then laughter can be a wonderful thing during sex. Some people are sensitive emotionally to laughter during times like this, so please communicate about it first, but a genuine full laugh at a dumb joke or some awkward moment can make the vulva do some muscle movements that are super fun for all concerned.
I'm straight but a lot of this is still helpful! My ex boyfriend was quite awful in a lot of ways which has made me scared of the prospect of possibly having a sexual relationship again. He was incredibly selfish and clearly did not give a shit about my experience (I have never experienced good or even decent sex). Even when I tried to bring up issues he was dismissive, he didn't change anything, and I just ended up feeling bad for being "demanding" even though I basically only asked for the bare minimum - HE had the audacity to keep asking for more though! He also did things without asking under the assumption that I'd be into it despite me NEVER having given any indication that I was, such as choking, spanking and biting. I have a very low pain tolerance so these things were highly unpleasant, and even though I told him to be careful, asked him to be more gentle, he didn't. Idk if he somehow took it as a joke because I said it in a cheerful tone as to not ruin the mood. At one point I did outright tell him that he was hurting me and he acted really offended as if this was news to him and he was like "you make me sound like an abuser!" and I just???? Dude I've literally been telling you every single time to be careful and that it hurts??? And even after that, even though he made a scene about how bad he supposedly felt, he didn't stop. All of these things (as well as many more but this is getting long) have made me really really worried about what would happen if ever I find myself in a sexual situation again. I don't know how to deal with it.
I'm sorry you had to experience this! I really wish you the best for the future and that you will find somebody who is willing to communicate with you, respect your boundaries and cares about the way you feel! 💕 Also, please don't listen to this other comment above. 🙄 You did what you could, you told him every single time. There wasn't really more you could do except leaving the situation and the relationship. It was NOT your fault! Wishing you all the best!💖
I love the queer evolution of Keara the mullet, the muscle shirt, the metal straw...plus this was a really honest and validating look at sexual health. Ty!
watching this vid was one of the safest, happiest and most accepted I’ve felt since i came out. it’s so amazing to get the answers to questions that I’ve been so curious about, but just accepted I’d never know. thank you so much
I still haven’t had my first time bc I literally hate my body. I feel ugly and I get so much anxiety bc of that. Is there any way to overcome this insecurity? :(
I think the only way to stop being so anxious and feeling ugly is pretty much to start loving yourself!! I know basic advice but there’s literally no other way! Either you loose weight or love yourself the way you are. I guarantee you, you’ll find someone that likes you just the way you are someday. Just be patient and try to love yourself or just stop caring!
Take time everyday, whether it's before bed, in the shower, in nature, or other, to just be with yourself. There is no remedy or sure way to just change the way you feel about yourself- not truly, anyway,- but by just spending time and actually looking at yourself, thinking, and getting used to being around yourself, maybe you can come to a place of acceptance or peace. You don't have to look a certain way to be beautiful. And if you want to be better for yourself, there are always ways to improve your health, but before you do anything with someone new, you have to be at peace with yourself. I hope things work out for you; idk how helpful this was. But best of luck
I’d rather be ‘ugly’ and orgasming than pretty and dry! Haha but for real, I remind myself that I am never thinking about my partners body in the same way I think about mine. When I’m having sex with a girl I think every part of their body is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. I try to remind myself this and keep my focus outward on them. Be gentil with yourself.
You just have to remember loving yourself is a mindset. A real friend, gf or bf won’t care how you look (unclothed or clothed) because they’ll love you. I was so insecure until I got the confident mindset ❤️❤️❤️
i may not be fully confident in my own body yet but i've come a long way. my one advice would be, fake it till u make it. seriously, when you start saying stuff like "oh i'm so hot/beautiful, anyone else who hates me is just jealous" and more, you start FEELING good. this is something that helped me a LOT. i hope this helps u too
Not gonna lie, this was really helpful and I'm so glad that there are people like you who are de-stigmatizing the idea that sex between women should be hush-hush. Also I'm 21 and a demisexual and have had a lot of trouble finding a partner who I trust enough to have sex with, and because of that, having very little experience makes me even more insecure and thus reluctant to go through with things, but having someone talk about it so normally and learning that my worries are common with other women just upped my confidence a little, so thank you for sharing your answers! ❤❤ happy pride folks! 🏳️🌈
Keara, thank you so much for such an informative video! I really appreciate that you didn't sound awkward or anything like that. You discussed it just like any other topic. I have never had a sexual encounter with women before, but your video definitely helped me and gave some tips for the future. Have a nice day!
im ace and im just watching this cause i watch basically anything lgbtq+ that gets recommended to me, im a curious person and i want to know anything and everything gay :)
0:25 XCX!??? Surely she meant the wonderful experimental pop artist Charli XCX, who just released her latest album brat which may be the best album of 2024!! 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃
Okay quick note, yes, go do it and get it over with to get rid of the nerves, but still be picky with who it’s with. I chose the wrong person and ended up getting SA-d during my first time. Make sure it’s still with someone you trust, be safe out there!
I have taken exactly 3 s3x ed classes in my life (parents made me) and none of them gave me as much LGBTQIA+ s3x information as this video, even when I asked. You are a godsenddd 😭😭😭
I know I'm kinda young to be watching this, but it is about the time for me to start learning about sex. It's a completely natural thing and I feel comfortable talking about it if someone doesn't make it sexual. (I know you're talking about sex but you don't have to make anything sexual) and that's exactly what you did, thank you Keara! I've also had a few questions like if sex-spread infections can spread with the same sex too, so this was helpful. I'm questioning both my sexuality and my gender, I've been trying out she/they pronouns and I'm thinking I'm pansexual, but I don't necessarily know because i think maybe I'm faking being attracted to men because I have internalized homophobia (I actually do have internalized homophobia so that's a thing) but I do know that I definitely like girls, I'm gonna see (When I'm older!) What kind of things happen with the same sex, what normal questions about sex is in the first place, etc. So this helped too. Thank you once again, I want to be educated on lgbtq+ sex but my parents are kinda homophobic in a way so I don't wanna talk to them about it (Especially about sex, like why??) And of course the only sex you get taught in schools is purely straight sex. So I wouldn't learn there. Thank you once again! This has helped me a lot!
Our society/education has stigmatized sex as this bad and inappropriate thing and it's really messed with my perception of sex to the point where I thought I might be asexual.
Good luck on your journey, you'll get there!! Don't be afraid to try things out to see if they work, and don't feel ashamed if it doesn't. Whoever you are is the best you, whoever that is. You got this :)
Idk if you've got resources already that you're looking into, but sexplinations is a great channel for sex education - she talks about SO many things, from specific kinks to queer sex to anatomy, and she's really great at making comfortable, informational content!
I love your advice but personally I do have to disagree with one thing you said, being the “make a schedule to compromise” with different sex drives. I think that, in a couple, if one of you wants to have sex less than the other one, then THATS the amount you have sex. No one should have to ever have sex when they don’t want to just to please someone else. If it’s a huge issue for the other person, then they can explore masturbation or even an open relationship - but in my opinion if your party is happy having sex with you to get their jollies when they know you don’t want to be doing it and you’re not feeling it but are doing it out of ‘compromise’…. That’s a bit weird.
I think it's more like, "make a schedule that both parties are okay with, *both*, but can change if life requires a change" kinda thing. But also depending on the people that way it's not just a set thing but case by case with couples but I dunno
Definitely agree with making sure you have robust consent. But sexuality is a little more nuanced. We tend to think a person is either horny or they're not, but arousal is something that can absolutely be "turned on". It's why many of us will not be thinking of sex, watch something sexy, then get hot and bothered, rather than seeking out sexy material because we're already turned on. And there's some evidence to suggest that when couples schedule (some) sex, they have higher anticipation, more sex, and often more satisfying sex because they are mentally prepared, commit sufficient time, and have open communication on it. Often, if we wait until both folks are "organically" in the mood, the couple is having less sex than either of them want because they're not randomly horny at the same times. This is not to say that you should coerce your partner into having sex EVER, just that our sexual desire can be fluid and these conversations can be productive.
i don’t really see the problem with scheduling, cause personally i’m not someone who will randomly or regularly get horny. sex leads to wanting more sex and sometimes a busy life means you dont even think about it.
I disagree. In my experience, having a lower sex drive just means you’re not as horny as the other person. Doesn’t mean you’re not open and willing to enjoy sex sex when you’re not horny. It doesn’t have to be a chore for the other person. You needing it less than the other person doesn’t mean you can’t consent and and enjoy it more often than you’re naturally inclined to.
I am so happy this was recommended! They don’t give much info at school and since I’m ✨maturing✨ I am a little more curious about this so thank you so much :)
Love how the RU-vid algorithm as decided to bless me, a simple lesbian, with information I can’t use because my girlfriend and I are long distance. I’ll keep this video saved though😂❤️
Hi, I'm new here. And I would like to say that I am not a part of the wonderful LGBTQ+ community. But I am a supporter of everyone, no matter who you are. And I would like to say as a straight woman who has a boyfriend for the first time, I found this video very helpful and I think that not only people of the community, but everyone can learn something from this video. So thank you Keara for creating this video. And I hope all of you have a wonderful day!! :) Okay 3 years and 2 ex’s later update and I am actually part of the community. I am an asexual, so to answer someone’s question no I actually don’t feel any attraction to either gender.
As a person who is a grey-ace, I'd rather watch this than sit in a class with a bunch of other kids and having some 80 year old woman talk about *the V word* which makes me uncomfyyyy💃
