How To Heal Your Broken Heart 

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A lot of the time isn’t even about the love we have for someone but the fact that we feel rejected. It’s about THEM not loving us anymore. How many times have you been in a situation where you, yourself weren’t sure but when it’s the other person making a move to end things all of a sudden you are. Not getting the love from someone you’d expect to receive love from, or going through the change of “major to minor” is the painful part for me.

Being cast aside and replaced immediately shows you were nothing to someone you’d move mountains for. That’s a deep pain that takes a long time to heal.

When you remember them laughing, smiling, looking peaceful and looking safe, you were actually looking at yourself. A reflection of what you projected and how great you made someone feel. Never forget your power and how special you are.

What a true gift it is to have been able to love so deeply that you ache from the loss.

the experience of being in love with someone is actually the experience of love coming out of you. it was always there it will always be there it is independent of the external stimulus.

I definitely think the key to healing from heartbreak is a balance of enjoying life without them, as well as allowing yourself to feel the pain, cry it out. I think every time you cry, you heal a little bit more each time. Just be pateint and give yourself time, but dont run away from how you're feeling.

Leonard Cohen sang: "... There is a crack, a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in"

Here’s how I deal with my serious emotions. I acknowledge them. I set a timer. 1 hour, wallow away, cry scream, pound a pillow, whatever you need to do (no attacking another person) when the timer goes off. Have a new thought. I don’t care what thought, lunch, laundry, whatever, immerse yourself in that. If you get over emotional again about the same thing, repeat BUT set the timer for 50 minutes. Next time, less time, until eventually you can encounter that emotion and allow it to pass even before you know it. It has worked for me through many heartbreaks, not just the end of relationships but the death of loved ones. Hope it helps someone else.

Sending this to my son. He's just had a really bad break-up.

I have come to recognise that heartbreak is the same as grief. Grieving a loss is heartbreaking or heart mending, and processing it is to go through the five distinct stages of grief after losing someone: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. This can take as long as a person needs.

I know this is more directed towards romantic relationships/heartbreak. But I have found the worse heartbreak I have experienced is not from a loss of a romantic relationship, but rather the loss of my brother who died 5 years ago. I feel that when one has lost someone, such as a sibling or child or akin to such, it is not something that you can work through with simple tips or a retreat. It is a constant battle that I'm not sure ever really subsides. Regardless, heartbreak in all its forms hurts, and I hope that those experiencing it are surrounded by people who have kindness and grace.

Thanks, wife of 9 yrs just left. Been binge watching videos like this

‘You have to feel it to heal it’ perhaps an overused phrase but it is a deep truth. I went through a divorce not too long ago and I allowed myself to take as long as I needed to ride the waves of grief. This led me to understand myself better and learned to nurture myself in a time of sorrow which led me to realise the love I have deeply craved from external sources is always within me and not something I have to earn from another person. Meditation, breathwork and writing helped me process my feelings. Going forward I know now that I will choose differently and I am practicing non attachment, change is the only inevitability in life and I’m learning to be ok with that. I am grateful to heartbreak, it’s been one of my biggest teachers

My dear Russell you have no idea the timeliness of your video. I have been with someone from 3 years that I thought was the love of my life and he just walked away. I am beyond devastated.😢. You have helped me more in 12 minutes then hours of counseling have. Obviously I don't know you but I have watched you over the years and I have to tell you I am so proud of the man and father that you have become at least what we see online if that is you in real life you're an incredible human being and I thank you

Forgetting Sarah Marshall... This was the movie that introduced me to Russell Brand. I had a broken heart at that time and that movie made me laugh out loud. I love (respectfully) Russell Brand since that movie and even more since this channel started.

used to feel panic when i saw "my ex's truck" driving around, thinking it was him. Now, when i see "his truck" i take it as an opportunity to say out loud that I forgive him.

6 things to include in your healing process: 1. Forgive yourself 2. Forgive the ones who hurt you 3. Understand you are not your past 4. Start prioritizing your happiness 5. Remember the universe WANTS to help 6. Understand you can create your future

currently heartbroken so great timing LOL

But I've got to say personally, it was actually experiencing many,many heartbreaks(and within 'heartbreak' I include loss thru deaths as well as romantic break-ups), the very heartbreaks and losses themselves, that taught me how to self heal and self love. Which invariably led me to finding very healthy love with another person and a strong relationship...(not until I was 42!)after much love, much loss. But without the loss,the pain and the heartache, my heart would not be near as strong or near as capable of containing joy. As Khalil Gibrhan would say"the deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"

Some of the deepest shadow work is done during that deep dark apocalyptic heartbreak. At one incarnation or another the soul has to go through it to "level up" and detox the darkness out of those hard to reach crevices. What lies afterwards is an independence and freedom that cant be put into words.

I think the way we see and handle heartbreak is quite often forged in the fire of our childhood experience (s). Left unacknowledged, unexplored, or unaccepted and unrecovered from, we are left to our own (sometimes) rudimentary and lacking coping mechanisms. I do think that unless and until we fully understand how to accept and love our own selves unconditionally, heartbreak is a monster capable of devouring our self esteem. And then we do so many things to feed the monster, or to shut it up, lol. Oof. The things. Understanding that we are the answer, and that we are love incarnate, creates a beautiful detached mode of transport through life that is unmatchable and ultimately freeing beyond words. ❤️

Lost my only child 10 years ago. A heartbreak that can't be matched. NO ONE can hurt me now.

It's a total mix. For me: Astrology, psychology, science of the brain, unpacking trauma, understanding attachment style,and codependancy.

I just want to feel accepted. Unconditional love. Turns out I need to show it to myself first. Not quite there.

It's been 7 years and I'll never be the same but I'm doing better today than I thought I'd ever be. Thanks for your insights, Russell.

"The opioid crisis in America is a spiritual [crisis]." Hear! Hear!

The loss my dog has broken my heart & the pain & loss often goes unrecognised. I understand time will help with the pain but nothing will fill his space in my heart & house

Really needed this right now. I’m going through quite a painful separation from my wife. I’m from America, living in the UK and I have no support network here. I feel trapped. We have a five year old daughter together, and I could never leave her… it’s all a bit much to handle at the moment.

I’m working on being whole and independently capable of solving my own problems. The hardest part is not believing the condemnation/rejection was deserved. Repairing self worth is my true goal now.

Heartbreak is real. Can be over a death, loosing a love, being separated from loved ones when you’re living in different locations …

Russell when life gets tough I think of the journey you have been on is heroic.Your humour saves the day in amongst all your spiritual healing.Thankyou for all you have given back🙏👍❤️✌️

The body is reacting to the mental suffering. Mental suffering occurs because in serious relationships our mental program (which operates our daily existence) has had some major programming additions added to it from the constant interactions with someone we became close to. That is why when someone suffers a major break up, the condition they are experiencing cannot just be explained away. Words won't just get rid of it. Its not like turning off a light switch. You can't just suddenly think the right things to make it all go away. Your mental program (which operates your daily activities) must have new things introduced into it to reorder your daily life with a different purpose. Your program determines your perception of reality. Each person's program is their concept of reality. That's why some people feel it is impossible for their life to go on without the one they lost. It feels like the heart is suffering (breaking) because your reality has been up-ended. It's all in the way your mind has become programmed through daily interactions in your environment (including with other people). That's why other people, who have never taken things seriously enough to become mentally bonded to another will never suffer an immediate or long-lasting pain from a break up. Their minds are not wired for such things to occur. The other person's interactions never became a serious part of this person's program. Hence, the program (like a computer) does not crash. Their program is somewhat independent (not dependent on) another. It's all in the program. You can't just say what you think you should do, or say how you think you should look at things after the fact. Your program (your perception of reality) must be reordered. New events and people accomplish this. With people whose minds have become wired with constant interaction, events, and bonding to someone else, it requires time to rewire to something else. It takes the time for that to happen and then your mind is ok again. Yes, the memory can remain, but in time, new (other) things will have replaced the constant memory of what you were before used to doing. Hence the thought of those people and the activities you shared together will fade away.

Meditation has given me a stable root that has helped me accept being alone... I feel connected. If I expect nothing, how can I ever be disappointed?

Heartbroken right now but so traumatised that the thought of having another relationship in the future terrifies me. It was a very abusive relationship. 8 years of physical and emotional abuse. Not sure how I’m ever going to get over it. Very scarred emotionally. I do t feel I could trust a man and ever again….

Being told to go meet new people as a solution, feels so demoralizing, when you struggle with finding new dates

Right when I needed this video the most. Struggling to get over my ex after 2 years of being broken up. I still want her in my life but it hurts so much seeing her move on and away from me

I work so so much and my financial struggles only compound. I have a chronic illness that would be fatal w/o very expensive meds. my son is all grown and no longer cares about me. Growing up with a sick mom is just so hard. I should have given him a better life through adoption. For a long time I was proud of my efforts to gain some health back and endure so long with this challenging illness. But, now I feel I was just being selfish. He could have had a much more stable upbringing. I cannot make it up to him and living with that failure is almost more than I can endure. I cry every single day. sometimes ALL day. This depression is even harder than my physical maladies. I look forward to hearing your podcasts and seeing your vids . Not a creepy fan ...I hope. You just make me smile for a bit and calm my anxieties. I hope I can get through this depression. It's feeling heavier lately. Thank you for the bright spots!

I discovered a profound truth quite by accident. I was in a fantastic marriage for almost 40 years and then she got cancer and died. My heart was torn apart and I could not recover. The sever sadness permeated my entire life. It was simply impossible for me to have a happy thought. After a few months of this I happened to run into an old friend, his daughter was with him and she happened to recently have had a baby. I requested to hold this baby. What happened next was simply profound. Just holding this baby instantly flipped a switch in my brain and I had my energy and my life back for the few moments as I was holding this tiny creature. New born's apparently can emit some strange type of unlimited energy. I am wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience ? ? ?

Yes, you don't want to aim at maintaining the initial feeling of falling in love. That would be like being disappointed with a baby that grows into a toddler that grows into a child,teen,adult. Love evolves like that too,I think.we always look back and remember fondly our kids when they were infants, l(like when we fist met our life mates)but are proud of how they've grown. And if each individual learns to heal their own heart wounds and practices clearing their own mind space, then coming together can be profoundly supportive and love kind of thrives on its own,evolving and everchanging alongside both parties. Almost like love is its own separate entity.

My heart being broken. Is what woke me up.. So much pain I couldn't take it anymore. Thank you so much brother for this 🙏🙏🙏💖💖💖💜💜💜💜💜🤗🤗🤗🤗🕉️

Betrayal in an form is very damaging and life threatening.

The only way to heal a broken heart is to change your mind, change your perspective. If people look back at heartbreaks they've gotten over, they'll find this is true. It wasn't time that did it; it's that they changed their mind, which took time.

Khalil Gibrhan's poetry and wisdom helped me through some very deep heartbreaks (including the loss of my little son).With his deep empathy and ability to point out the beauty in pain, I thought it might be helpful to recommend reading his art to anyone experiencing a broken heart right now. I hope it helps heal some. Love Light and Laughter

Exactly, live in the moment but be aware the relationship will end at some point, humans are always a disappointment to each other eventually. You either cope, manage, and work through the disappointments, or let go and move on with more knowledge in your soul. 👉👉👍👍👍

I think physical activity is important, but its really hard to find motivation when in a depressive state. I recently joined a group fitness community which has helped motivate me to keep active. Ive also focused on fitness as a skill rather than focusing on a body aesthetic routine.

I had experienced a lot of relationships connected sufferings back in 2019. But this gave me powerful impulse for spiritual awakening. Right now I'm a totally different person and actually don't even feel like I want relationships at all. I'm not against it, but I don't long for it, as before, because now I feel absolutely complete and very comfortable on my own, not scared to be lonely and not desparate for "finding someone" just because it's our society norm. Also I'm not jealous anymore about other's people relationships, and it feels great too! I wish all people in the world could feel this kind of liberation!

Love is all encompassing within and without. Love never judges, Love never forgets. As a Nurse, I've seen the most loving couples, die within three months or less of their partner. That always made me know, it's such a complex organ, the heart. A very good breakdown. And loving my Free, stickers from Mule. Stay free! ❤

The first time my heart was really broken was when I lost my first born daughter Sky in 2011, I was there for her first breath, but I wasn't there for her last breath. My daughter was a victim of murder. I've been married twice and divorced twice and I'm sorry to say I got over it fairly quickly and I was OK, I know that's gotta mean something, but now I'm single and I'm doing well. I still grieve my daughter though and probably will all my life, her name was Sakara Kachina Yepa / Sky.💔

Broken, then shattered, then pissed on. Ptsd from it. Won’t allow myself to love or be loved again

You are intelligent. It's off the chart how family life changes a person.

This was beautiful and much needed for me rn. Love you RB

Thank you Russell, for your advice on personal responsibility while in a relationship (not relying on our partner to fix everything we need to fix ourselves) was fabulously sagacious! ✌💕 🙏Namaste

russell, you're literally a lifesaver. thank you

I appreciate the emphasis on reflection after heartbreak. This is something that takes practice, but it can change us and motivate us to be better people not only in our romantic lives but elsewhere as well. And having a support system is *everything* reminding yourself that you are loved outside of that person, for me anyway, helps me to cope with the loss. Love isn’t really gone, because we are surrounded by people who love and care for us, and while it may not be romantic, love is still love and it will fill in the cracks of your heart.

To love is one thing. To deal with the numbness of being separate , well its enough just to get through the day .. the week. To find the strength to move forward initially is mindblowinly hard. It takes time before one can start to build another life... with each day that passes one builds a bridge to another life. It doesn't happen because you decide it happens. Time is the healer each day is a new step forward. You dont have to push for every new step it will happen naturally. With each day one becomes stronger. The only thing you have to do during the heartbreak is to comfort and care for yourself like a child who needs nurturing self love and self support.. like going out for a meal rather than cooking for yourself that day. Like taking a camera with you on a walk or journey and use that to record the beauty of the day... see life and its beauty through a camera lense..... help a person to lift a heavy object or do something that's similar.. reach out to help others gently. To target ten new people is to put ones self under stress and in the firing line... that us not what is needed during the heartbreak hump....

heart break and grief are closely related - (unless you are a narcissist) - you have seen some of yourself in the other -when the other is gone, you are missing 'who you were' with them - - - by the way - i picked that up from a shakespearean speech, and think it's brilliant

I had "broken heart syndrome" when I found out my husband of 30 yrs had been living a double life. It's like a heart attack. I felt like dying while he hadn't died per se...but the relationship had died...abruptly!

To overcome any heartbreak we need to 1. Understand that the past is passed and is nothing we can do to change whatever happened in the past. 2. Start focusing on what makes you happy, plan ahead and take action to achieve it. 3. Start focusing on the present moment and leave past behind, be grateful for what you have and understand that some things are out of our control. 4. Don't identify yourself with whatever happens to you! 5. Don't over react don't over analyze.

Although I was heartbroken many times in my life, when I look back I’m happy and 100% certain that that the right things happened.

“What is eternal” is such a great question to think about. Thanks for that golden nugget Rus ❤️

Russell, my friend, I'd love to see that video about the conditions for a healthy relationship. I thought I was ready for a relationship and just spent the last 5 months trying to force a relationship to happen with someone who was recently divorced and asked me for time. I now see that I was not as ready as I thought. I am currently utterly heartbroken so this video is of great help.

Very true Russell... You just need to accept the facts and let go... When my heart was brutality and publicly smashed to bits I spent ages doing a post mortem... That was processing the shock and grief.... Then Ant Middleton's words made sense... He was like a mould...enough of that sorry saga.... Now onto something more uplifting... My beloved grandparents spent their whole lives together and never spent a day apart and stayed in love till this earthly life ended... When my Grandfather passed my grandmother didn't want to live any more and just stopped eating. She prayered for death every day till she was gone.... So true love does exist... I've witnessed it.

As a single guy who has never been in love I oddly really enjoy the videos on these topics

Heal from it? Such a foreign concept. I assumed living with chunks missing from my heart is unavoidable, and have accepted the interminable pain like breathing.

Delightful speech, Russell!

This seems to be a subject close to RB to which I am grateful for. The way he articulates things has helped me understand this problem better and made it easier to address. Thank you Russell your pain is our gain. 👌🏾

I also love your take on self-reference and maturity. Self-realization should always come first. Know your essence and from there decisions can be made...not from a right or wrong decision perspective but from not abandoning yourself. Please! More on this relationship topic. Just ended a 30 yr marriage to a man I loved deeply because he was living a double life probably the whole time. Tripped into a new relationship much too soon and now must re-evaluate the relationship daily! More on this please!

Thanks Russell, currently going through a break up, but it's a strange one, mainly broken up due to my unresolved issues, bad health + no job + addictive patterns + insecurity + dishonesty + fear and just self doubt and occasional hatred. I do realize that the pain comes from attachment, and for sure I have been playing the victim expecting other people to complete me, fix my shit for me, or hold my hand while I do it. I am now more independently sorting my self out, and I find that when I do that, the support and help comes to me anyway without me crying and begging for it, when I flow life flows with us. But it's very true, to stay aware, to stay awake, to go into the depth of meditiation, to be in alignment within is a tough cookie to crack sometimes but thats always the point of liberation. Eventually we always need to return to that sense of connection and wholeness that you well said. I remember Deepak Chopra saying something along those lines, 'Returning to the memory of oneness'. Anyways guys, there is always hope and a way, even if it seems impossible or super difficult, you can do it and get through it, find the guidance and follow it, bit by bit, it can be done. Perhaps I will fail again and fall into addiction or some ego trap, but the more we do it, and the more we become genuinely involved with the process, i feel our spirit does become stronger and we do learn even if it seems like we're just falling lower. God is love, and thats true always, good luck hacking yourself Ya'll!!!! *

Thanks Russell. I agree, i need to feel the pain and that’s a challenge in recovery, just not to reject myself. That’s the ultimate.

Diet and exercise cures a broken heart through building confidence. That worked for me at least.

The type of love and depth of love does change over time but love in itself is eternal.

Thanks Russell, going through it right now

Oh man, you hit the solution right on the mark! I once told my doctor, when asked if I've ever had a heart attack, that I've had my heart broken several times but not "attacked"! Never relied on another to complete me but have found what I thought was my true love. He didn't feel the same. He needed something and it was me to fulfill some need he thought I didn't provide - . time brought us back to a point that neither of us faced before and we are working on ourselves and our relationship daily. It's easy to toss out the old towel with the trash. We've been married for 40 years .. not up for the medal but up for the long haul at this time ..working on ourselves with support of each other.) Never thought there would come a day I would agree with Russell! I do agree with you 💯 today!

My heart is so deeply broken. There are no words I love him so much and wanted a life. I suddenly was able to see the depth of the issue I thought was just anger issues. I was being gaslighted by a vulnerable narcissist. I have a 5 year older son I had to keep in mind and also know I am worthy of being treated with respect, decency, trust, and compassion by an empathetic and loving partner. I loved him so deeply. This was a hard thing to do. I knew I can’t lay here sobbing so I found me some Russel. Ty Russel Brand. Love watching your main channel. This my first time here in this one.

Well, I think your heart gets broken from many diverse relationships, your children can break your heart, you may break your parent's on occasion, and, living and loving beget happiness and sadness, as William Blake said, "Joy and woe are woven fine, a clothing for the soul Divine."

My heart is healing ❤️‍🩹 now ! Thank you , God 😊 🙏 🥰🧚‍♀️ it’s such a relief and I’ve learned so much .

Acceptance is the number one goal

I was so distracted by that enormous Jack & the beanstalk type cucumber outside your window . Great content Russell, my internet brother x

I dreamed a wiser older more compassionate person touched my cheek and said, "That love you gave away was the way you were supposed to love yourself." I don't think I realized or accepted I was being more patient, more compassionate when I needed to have stronger boundaries, when I needed to focus on and heal myself. I am lovable, I am worth loving, just like my selfish lovers were, but I can't teach them to my value by loving them more.

Yes! A video about the conditions for a healthy relationship, please!!

I love my dogs ! I was abandoned by my mom than my children! I just want a handyman that loves animals. My tip to overcome heartbreak get a dog they are so trustworthy! People suck

Beautifully caring, thank you my fellow pilgrim. Love solutions are a question of what would love do now. Feeling that within as well as externally is a truth, one of my rare moments of clarity. Namaste.

Loved this. Thank you!

I go the spiritual route always. It never fails ever

Brilliant video. Well articulated and really discusses ways to approach relationships. Love it

“You can’t rush your healing. Darkness has its teaching. Love is never leaving” - Trevor Hall (song: you can’t rush your healing)

Spirituality everytime augmented by Science has been most effective means of healing heartbreak. Russell, thank you so much for sharing how you are staying in a loving relationship with your Wife by gaining control over your Soul (mind, emotions and body) with Spiritual disciplines x!

Good advice thanks Russell - Nathan

Tell me why I'm this way losing my best mate my constant companion my dear friend harley after 12 years He was a king Charles cavalier. I am heartbroken.

Thank you. So beautifully said, and I like the way you are dressing and doing your hair.

one of my biggest heartbreaks is when i watched #seaspiracy #earthlings #theyaretryingtokillus

God this video was great! Ive always referred myself to being a hopeless romantic. But now at 46 ( married and divorced VERY young) I’ve been through other very long term committed relationships and I’ve learned a lot about myself. Through my growth my tastes, likes, priorities and self worth has changed dramatically. I love ❤️ how u pointed out that “love” is within. Very accurate and deep! U also can’t look to the other person to complete u. Yes we can feel love for many things ( car, job, nature, material things) But the greatest love is self love and no one can give you that, nor can they take it away. Heartbreak (for me at least ) has felt absolutely devastating in a couple past relationships. I think friends, and being forced to keep busy helped a little. But only time heals the pain completely. Love is a complicated emotion and has many dimensions . I thought the advice about going on in dates with other people that you wouldn’t normally date was NOT good advice! Especially after a fresh heartbreak. I think that would make the pain much worse ( especially if the lost love was very special).

Thank you, Russell. I'm too heart broken to take in the deeper meaning of what you're saying right now, but I imagine I will come back to this video to help me heal. The person I was seeing broke up with me last night, he said we were on completely different wavelengths... It's extremely painful and a shame, but I know that I will eventually find someone who connects deeply with me :( ❤️

I’m going through heartbreak from a 5-year relationship. I’m going through the grieving process and Russell pretty much confirmed that I’m handling it the right way. I know this will teach me a lot about myself and what is really important

I’ve been going through it and your videos have helped me find answers to questions I didn’t know I had. Thank you.

I think a lot of times we think we are missing the person or relationship....which the logical mind cant make sense of if they were an asshole. 🤔 but what we really miss is the feeling of love and happiness we had in ourselves....which sometimes has little to do with them!!😉

Russell. I am truly heartbroken right now. I have been grasping at all resources and have been doing all the internal growth and self love exercises. Your video nailed it and really helped my heart in this moment. Thank you for helping me.

Couldn't agree with you more. Secular love can never replace the love we need to have for the Divine and for humanity as a whole. I've had my heart broken so many times and thinking back what I needed was a hefty dose of yoga, meditation, and spirituality. In a meditative state, you feel more love than you could possibly imagine. But you live and you learn. I guess that's why sages are mostly older people.

Just got broken up with yesterday by a girl that I’ve been with for 2 years. I’m young, we were only 18 and I know it was very naive of me but I truly believed she was the one. We were so happy, then last week she just became so detached and cold and I asked her if something was wrong and she said no. I still love her, I’ve never cried this much in all my life. I just can’t believe we went from being so important to each other, to her cutting me out of her life in one week. It just feels so cold and cruel and I feel so alone. The advice in this video is valuable though, I’ll take it to heart.