How To Help Child Calm Down When Angry

Nicholeen Peck - Teaching Self Government

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Anger is part of human nature, but there is a way to control it, and even prevent it! In today's episode, let's talk about anger, what it is and how we can teach ourselves and our children to avoid getting angry in the first place. Stay tuned, I have some valuable insights that might help you parent your children better!
Watch and Enjoy!
Nicholeen Peck
Teaching Self-Government
Key Moments in this Episode
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00:44 One of my foster daughters...
01:59 The "no" answer
04:24 Pre-teaching
05:28 The Rule of 3
Resources
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Get our toolkit here:
teachselfgov.com/toolkit
Learn more about us here:
teachingselfgovernment.com/about
Check out our upcoming events here:
teachingselfgovernment.com/ev...
Like us on Facebook!
/ teachingselfgovernment
Follow us on Twitter!
/ teachingselfgov
About Nicholeen Peck
========================
Despite your best efforts at raising children, is your family dysfunctional? Do your children set the rules and have control of your home instead of you? Are you looking for parenting skills that will help you create a united, happy family?
Then meet Nicholeen Peck, one of the world’s most effective parenting experts. Whether you want to fix child behavioral issues, create more unity in the home, or simply strengthen your family relationships, her proven system - Teaching Self-Government - can help you turn chaos into calm.
"People are starving for help to save their families," says Nicholeen.
Since 1999, her seminars, workshops, one-on-one training sessions, parenting videos and books have helped thousands of families worldwide regain peace, be happy and maintain unity in their home. The secret? Learning how to use effective family systems based on parenting that’s deliberate and pro-active (instead of reactive). It all starts with the principles of self-government. If you’re a family of faith, you’ll especially love how your faith and values can be woven into her parenting system.
In 2009, Nicholeen and her husband starred in the BBC reality TV show, “The World’s Strictest Parents” (watch here: bit.do/StrictestParents). She became an overnight sensation by turning around two out-of-control teenagers from England after just one week - without shouting, threats or manipulation. Her amazing success comes from the positive parenting techniques of using calmness, effective communication and principles of self-government.
Nicholeen Peck’s Accomplishments
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* Author of “Parenting: A House United,” “Popular Parenting Methods: Are They Really Working?,” “Roles: The Secret to Family, Business, and Social Success” and many other books and magazine articles.
* President of The Worldwide Organization for Women (WOW).
* Nicholeen regularly speaks at the United Nations and other congresses around the world as an advocate for strengthening families and motherhood.
* In 2009 her family was featured on the BBC reality show, “The World’s Strictest Parents.
* Trained as a foster parent for Utah Youth Village.
* Has parented many troubled foster children.
* Successfully raised (and raising) four children of her own.
Testimonials
========================
“Her loving parenting techniques work with ALL children.”
Kristi, www.thankfulme.blogspot.com
“Thank you for your insights and solutions. They have helped my family so much.”
Michelle
“My husband and I have started implementing some of your techniques, and our house has been so different!”
Julianne
“I feel that my children respect me more. I will be eternally grateful for what I have learned from Nicholeen Peck.”
Michelle Baker
“If you want to forge the strongest family bonds possible, to repair damaged relationships, and redeem a child that seems completely lost, then this program IS for you.”
Sandra
========================
Video by Nate Woodbury
BeTheHeroStudios.com
/ natewoodbury
#TeachingSelfGovernment
#Homeschool
#Family

Опубликовано:

4 июн 2020

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Комментарии : 35

@kalareyna8717 3 года назад

Anger is a struggle for me as an adult, I'm learning these things for myself so I don't keep passing on bad habits to my children.

@TeachingSelfGovernment 3 года назад

Great job!!! Self-government is always contagious. :) This course will give you all the words to say and the calmness help you need to master yourself and help the children in the hard situations. teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/

@cinnabun715 10 месяцев назад

I need this video more than my child. Can’t teach skills to someone that I need to learn myself ❤thank you for your videos

@TeachingSelfGovernment 9 месяцев назад

100% truth, right there! I love that you're internalizing these things for yourself!

@miadawn5175 Месяц назад

I am that passive aggresive person. And occasionally it explodes and i feel just like your foster daughter. I just bought your kids books and parenting a house united and am trying to help my preschool son, who is much like me and very strong willed. Realizing i need to learn these skills for myself if i want my child to learn them.

@ashleyallen1858 2 года назад

I am working accepting “No answers.” So good, and so hard! Wish I had learned these in my youth. Thank you Nicoleen!!

@parentingbeyondbehaviours6382 Год назад

It's hard but you can do it Ashley

@jenniferrush8231 Год назад

I think the hardest part is the script…. I need the script of what to say and when to little kids… im gonna try and piece it outta the videos. Also gonna work on writing the 4 skills out on cards to work on in Homeschool. From what we have worked on over the last year there has been a ton of improvement but i think i and my husband need the script. It would sure help us stay calmer

@TeachingSelfGovernment Год назад

Hi Jennifer! I give lots of detailed scripts in my online TSG Parenting Course. If you're looking for the best way to implement what you're seeing on the videos, that would be one of the best ways. Here's a link with more information, in case you're interested: teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/

@friendalways9140 Год назад

So thankful for this!!!!!!!!

@brightpage1020 Год назад

Ok I’ve watched your videos and bought your book and seen that episode of those British teens… and wish my kids could spend a week at your family’s house, too! If we weren’t in the process of moving cross country and finally selling our ok’d home and trading in for our forever home, I’d take your online course with my husband but he needs all his time off to help get our things out of storage… but we’ll sign up for the next round! Our home has become so filled with animosity, it’s just easier to put everyone on their own entertainment screen than spend time together. And that doesn’t breed better relationships. Duh! 🙄 So, I’m willing to learn and get open minded and work on my patience… and practice self government as a parent so I can model it and teach it to my kids. M 3/4 kids are currently living with us (one is not a kid anymore and stayed in the ok’d state for school and work) : a 9y/o, just turned 6 y/o special needs, and just turned 5 y/o. The 6 y/o learned not to hit, kick, bite etc before preschool, but has returned to those physical tantrums and uses them against Mom almost every day. Not sure why. But have suspicions… Just trying to make sure he doesn’t try to steal my push-button SUV (life sized, not PowerWheels) is challenge enough as an example. When I pull him out for everybody’s safety, he kicks, hits, scratches, and bites me. He screams “You’re not my mom” (he’s the only one I didn’t c-section, and was my fave birth but also the riskiest and earned him some brain developement issues unfortunately). He recently learned the words for body parts at school and now tells me he’ll “punch [me] in the breast” anytime I say “no” to him or he doesn’t get what he wants. I’m beside myself. It’s beyond normal tantrums. Now his little brother has begun following suit, threatening to cut my head off with a knife any time I say it’s time to change from jammies to play clothes. Um. Where have I gone wrong and how do I get back on track?

@TeachingSelfGovernment Год назад

Wowzers! Look at you guys go! The nice about my online TSG Parenting Course is that you can buy it whenever and work on it at your own pace. Once you buy it, you have it for a lifetime. I know of many couples who watch one video each night and have a short discussion about it before bed. That way, they're always on the same page and have some connection and bonding time together as well. I hope you can get into it soon! teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/ About your question: The full answer to your question is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your question on my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too! If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!

@brightpage1020 Год назад

@@TeachingSelfGovernment thank you! We have been on wait lists for other forms of counseling and had done Parenting With Love and Logic when we just had our 2nd, before the other 2 came along. I feel bad for just focusing on the negative with my last comment. I was in the moment of despair when I reached out. Usually they are great children, a parents' dream. Each has challenges but each also has unique super traits. One is amazingly strong, one is wildly creative and friendly, another is very smart plus dedicated to his dream of becoming am author which is fostering his drive fo learn to read. They all love to make us and each other laugh and can light up a room with their presence. Most of the time we feel very blessed... But certain moments come almost every day now that I just feel beside myself. I don't know where they get this stuff... And I feel scared if my now 6 y/o is still trying to beat me up when he turns 16. The communicating only when calm rule is already helping. Thank you! Will sign up for the online while we wait on the list for further counseling. Bless you for putting this together. So thrilled to learn how to create a peaceful presence in our home that is more comforting than combative. Grateful for you, Sister in Christ. Thanks!

@karentingler4937 2 года назад

Thanks

@spiritfilledlife79 3 месяца назад

What about ODD and or PDA?

@Lightbodied Год назад

My little one had a brain injury when he was close to 2. I am thinking that causes his anger. He was so happy and loving before the injury then overnight he changed. Thank you for sharing. I want to make sure I am equipped to help him manage his anger.

@DavidProrok Год назад

If he has a brain injury, perhaps he acts angry because he is in pain

@monicatorres4686 Год назад

I’m loving your information. I’m just confused about how you say anger is a habit. Isn’t anger an emotion and shouldn’t it be looked at as all emotions are ok to have? But it’s how we process/ or express that emotion that maybe appropriate or inappropriate ? For example, With my 2 year old twins, I do say, “ it’s ok to be upset but it’s not ok to hit”. So this is where I’m a little confused. Ty

@DavidProrok Год назад

Anger is a bit different from other emotions because it is more like a veil, a shell, a protective mechanism. Anger is a “directed” emotion - either outwardly or inwardly. We don’t feel sad AT somebody, but we do feel ANGRY at somebody. “Upset” is different from anger. Upset implies you are sad or otherwise dysregulated. Using the word upset is good because it implies that the situation is under the persons control, they merely need to become “set” again, whereas anger externalizes the causes, which is not helpful. Another difference is that anger is actually “generated” - its an emotion that we choose to create within ourselves based on a story in our minds. When we generate anger, we are actually generating a toxic biochemical called cortisol. When we choose to be angry, it is like poisoning ourselves and expecting somebody else to die. Hopefully these statements have helped clarify things for you! Do respond if you would like to know more. Best of luck raising your little geniuses!

@TeachingSelfGovernment 8 месяцев назад

That is a great question! The full response to your question is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your question on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too! If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ You can also look into my online TSG Parenting Course, which guides you through creating a foundation for a self-governing family and teaching skills and principles to promote logical thinking and calm, happy interactions. teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/ I hope this helps!

@ronimemida5176 Год назад

I have a 4 year old boy and a 2 year old girl. My problem is I always do power struggle every time he’s sleepy especially right after kinder school. It really drained me a lot especially when I can’t control myself and do something unpleasant to him . Please help me ma’am nicholeen.

@DavidProrok Год назад

You can try practicing meditation 10 minutes in the morning and before bed, and 5 minutes before picking him up from school. That way you can show up as a calming, loving presence

@luciakovacikova1651 11 месяцев назад

Dear Nicholeen- greetings from Slovakia, Europe - I want to thank you for your work. I want to ask you how should I teach my children to differentiate between the motivators and motivators which are bribes - how to present it to the child becuase ven I do not get it properly as a parent where is the difference .... how should I communicate it? Thank you !

@TeachingSelfGovernment 8 месяцев назад

Hello, Lucia! That is a great question! The full response to your question is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your question on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too! If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!

@Allie-wm4ho 2 года назад

Where do I find the rule of 3 that you mentioned?

@DavidProrok Год назад

It’s in her book

@azlanang Год назад

I’m confused. So if my 5 year old son is angry, I say come here to the calm down place while he throws his fits, and then just wait for him to calm down and let his tantrum out until he is calm, then say “wow you did so well calming down! Here is a chocolate”… can you please explain or give an example of how to calm down a 5 year old based on your recommendation?

@TeachingSelfGovernment 8 месяцев назад

I have some videos that clear up what you're asking: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-kns5JeOEb0A.html&pp=ygUdbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgY2FsbSBkb3duIHNwb3Q%3D ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-NBiEuXy1AoM.html&pp=ygUdbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgY2FsbSBkb3duIHNwb3Q%3D ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-7jJPZ1Pijy0.html&pp=ygUdbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgY2FsbSBkb3duIHNwb3Q%3D I hope that helps!

@angary2006 Год назад

What if the child throws and hits the wall in the calm down spot 5yr old? Do you just ignore that or is there something else I can do? Thank you

@marie-louiseweerheim4224 Год назад

Maybe the child needs to sit with you in order to calm down.

@TeachingSelfGovernment 8 месяцев назад

@ashleymartin7244 2 года назад

Does this work on autistic children

@TeachingSelfGovernment 2 года назад

Yes, it does. I have multiple videos addressing autism and how to use Self-Government with it. Here are a couple links to those videos: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-0xoRfsicy7E.html ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-Hjdd1pDPBEk.html I hope this helps!

@vortexgirl7317 Год назад

😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 g r r r r r I cannot believe this did I have to watch this video about the anger management this is not what I accept for I have to remove this video and try again later!

@TeachingSelfGovernment Год назад

I'm sorry you're still upset! Hopefully you can learn how to be calm and get some more skills under your belt! Here's the link, in case you want it: teachingselfgovernment.com/calm-parenting-toolkit/ I hope this helps!