How to Keep the Wrong Women out of Your Life | Dr. Shawn T. Smith PsyD | Full Speech 

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It cost me 23 years and 560,000 dollars to learn what this man just told you for free.

*Women test men all the time. Maybe it's time men started testing women before making their final selection. Filter filter filter.*

Guys just tell her that you have a financial problem and will need her help. If she stays and help you, you won. If she leaves you, you won.

I don't know who said it, but I've never forgotten it: "The cruelty of women toward those who do not meet their expectations is as damaging as any war."

Never let lust or emotion dictate your decisions

1. idolization - not seeing the world clearly, not seeing the other person clearly. Unable to see flaws 2. intuition - recognize your brain is processing something, then STOP and ask yourself what is going on. 3. confusion - not understanding what is happening 4. element of time - risk management reduces uncertainty. Take time, let their character show up.

Drift away from toxic people. No confrontation, no reckoning, just drift away.

For so many decades I mourned the fact that women rejected me and didn't want me. I'm now a bachelor of 61 and retiring in 5 months. Having witnessed so much suffering of married men, I'm eternally grateful that women didn't want me!

25 years nag free now, and I intend on staying this way... The only relationship I’m interested in now is my relationship with the creator..🙏 He never fails me,He is always faithful even when I’m not...

When I first started dating my wife I told her straight up that I wouldn’t get married until we’d been together for 10 years. 23 years later we’re still together and the number of fights we’ve had as a couple I can count on one hand.

When I stopped arguing with women my blood pressure went down and I even got lost hair back. What I do is leave. No man can be harmed when he has options.

I am a woman and I am watching this to learn. I read the title and I listened to the content. He is not against women, he trying help men pick the right women. I agree women can be deceptive and wicked. I agree they should have protocols in place to be able to spot these type of women early on interacting with them. Some men in the comment section sound really bitter. Men have done me wrong but I decided to take accountability in the role I played in the toxic relationships I was in. Basically level up yourself and that will attract the right woman or man. I don’t have time to be crying about how men ain’t shit because that’s a false a narrative I tell myself. The truth is in this world we live with toxic humans. I think it needs to be about how to stop toxic people from entering our lives. Staying in a space of negativity will only attract what you already believe you deserve. The universe only confirms what you already believes to be true

No one puts someone in a position, only you can place yourself in a position. People come in your life to teach you about yourself. Know yourself.

as grammy nominated rapper Royce Da 5'9" said " The only time a woman made a man a millionaire Was when that man was a former billionaire"

OMG, are the feminists marching yet? Men standing up for men, so refreshing and so needed!

This video is exactly what I needed at the right time. I’m currently rebuilding my life because of a woman

The woman who has the premonition that the man who she is in a relationship with is going to kill her. Projection is one of the strongest characteristics in people of low character. How you need to interpret this is that she is seeing herself eventually killing him.

Pay attention, guys. This is advice is gold. Shawn exactly describes me twenty years ago when I got suckered into a relationship with a woman with Borderline Personality Disorder. Two decades on, bereft of my child and of everything I had worked hard to achieve, I am still struggling to live with fallout of her abuse. I don't even know how to put into words the trauma that will most likely await you if you get involved with one of these crazies. There is too much risk and precious little reward for a man in a relationship, even if you do your due diligence. MGTOW is the only rational choice.

This is gold! Wish this was public education instead of useless crap we learn in school... Thank you for your service!

God I wish I saw this when I was 17. Truly.

Her- "You're going to kill me". Me- "waiter, check please!"

Men be very careful don't just fall in lust with her looks....the way she acts will effect your life!

Sensei says "To Trust no one is to Trust everybody evenly"

He’s right man. I used to push pas through the nonsense . The arguing was no big deal. Ended up being exhausted and fatigued constantly dealing with it. Man I wished I had learned these things in my 30s

And remember this, they walk in as pure angels, and march out with your house as demons.

Amazing speech. My wake up call was meeting a woman who I realised was Emotionally Unavailable. Men and Women, please look up the signs. Avoid the pain I went through in my own journey

Always trust your gut, it knows already what your head has not yet figured out... words to live by.

You do not know a person unless you are in a close relationship with them for at least one year. But some can hide themselves for years. Others can have breakdowns and change drastically at any time. No matter how aware and careful you are bad stuff can happen to anyone.

so amazing what he says about non verbal intuitive signals. when I was with my ex.. (a woman who had multiple psychiatric issues) I had all kinds of symptoms... fibromyalgia symptoms, ice pick migraines, arthritis, blood clots, anxiety, depression, not sleeping, stomach upset.... being with her drained me and was killing me slowly. The last weekend I was with her: I accidentally stabbed myself in my left hand - I lost a ton of blood... the next day I was at her dad's cottage... I was lying on a deck... I got up and my arms were covered in wood splinters... I left her in June. My body is back in shape... no pain, no more symptoms at all. I'm feeling peaceful again. I'm working on myself daily and I will never ever let this happen to me again.

This is easy, be poor. They won’t want to know you

I'm saving this for my boys.

This guy is giving out pearls of wisdom for free. Folks best be listening very carefully. I recommend listening to this 3-5 times if you are young and never been married...

If you have to change so much of yourself just to impress woman, you are already over evaluating them, and also undervaluing yourself in the process. If you change yourself for them, they will eventually pick up on it. Believe me, they are not worth going through the amount of effort that you may think you need to. Clean yourself up, groom yourself properly, and work on strengthening your state of mind. Learn to be calm and confident within your thoughts. And loosen up! Relax. Don’t try hard to be relaxed. Just be easy on yourself. Your goal is to reach the point when you can always just BE a calm, relaxed & confident person. And you can make intelligent decisions on the way you chose to govern your life. When you are able to do these things you will do just fine. The truth is most women do not have a strong sense of feeling powerful. That is where you come in. Strength in your character & personality is what they are attracted to. Ultimately, if they want to feel like you do, they will want to be with you. Be reasonable, and don’t bother trying to pick up women far more attractive than you are. If you look around, it is extremely rare that you will see a woman who is a 9 that is willing to stay with a guy who is a 6 or 7 in physical appearance. This usually only happens if there are unreal materialistic values & high volumes of money involved. When you encounter women who are looking for these things in a man, just keep walking. Be a person who can make others feel good about you as a man. Don’t be greedy. Choose to help people who are struggling. Help the elderly, help the weak, help children, and help the sick. When you take up doing these deeds, your confidence & self esteem will grow. Doing these deeds will also give you a direction & purpose in your life. Eventually you will notice all people, and more specifically women will admire you.

Just my 2 cents : Your gut IS your true soulmate Never commit to a person until you've broken their entire facade down. Be subtle. Be grateful when you don't get what you want. You forget how blessed you are.

This is by far if not the best lecture I've ever heard about men and women obviously what about how you should manage your life. From now on and how you should see yourself as a man as of right now for every second after for the rest of our lives. There are many many males in this world but very few men. And as a man we truly are the prize

Thanks for giving me a man's perspective and showing clearly how vulnerable we both are as human beings

The most horrible woman in the world will either destroy you or make you the strongest man you could possibly become. Don't underestimate the contribution to your strength a bad woman gives.

I was looking for a NAWALT until I realized that she does not exist. I have stopped looking and enjoy peace and serenity now.

Man, I feel sorry for my American brothers, but trust me, this disease has spread like wildfire even to Africa. I approach women with serious caution, even as just hang out friends they can be really dangerous to have in your life. Woman comes out of left field with 11 which you don't know about. Spot on. This is so awesome. Every minute I watch, I have another reason to extend my post. By the way guys. Another hot red sign. A woman who never wants to just sit and talk. Wants you to make a move with no information. Scoot.

no woman is inherently loyal it's her lack of options that makes her loyal

It takes a real man to leave the wrong women at the altar👍👍👍 good for that guy.

As a woman, I really enjoy things like this because as much as I am trying to be the right woman for a man. I also want to ensure that I am connecting with the right man and we can communicate to solve problems and grow.

Collectively as guys, we can start off by stop ‘liking’ every single Instagram post of a chick, no matter how appealing the photos look. The inflated ego originates from the the thousand likes.

Thanks for sharing this video. It's so accurate and super valuable. I allowed a pwBPD to enter in my life and in a matter of a year my life was upside down. Lost my job, my apartment, friends, savings and mental health. I admit my responsability for ignoring my inner voice. Do NOT ignore you inner voice guys. Gladly I'm recovering slowly ,and after a year of constant teraphy I have recovered almost at 100%. If you face a similar situation, please don't give up. Learn from this experience and protect yourself. You are the prize!

As a woman who works in a male dominated field, goes after no child support, and is the single mother of a young man, I can say this is true in a majority of cases and it is my fear for my son. That being said, there are also the few good ones out there. I can say that because I know my own heart and moral code.

Sorry, but when you say 17:00 that "it takes two people to create hostility" or it takes two people to create a disagreement, well it simply doesn't. It just takes one! Even when an agreeable person tries to agree with a disagreeable person, the disagreeable person will still disagree.

At around the 36 minute mark you were talking about today's men being in a position that they could be destroyed for the smallest perceived indiscretion. I was in a position like that recently where i felt absolutely powerless and in the crosshairs. I'm a 56 year old man reasonably successful in my job and life and found myself the object of a woman's desires at a social function attended by several mutual friends and others is where it happened. As the night progressed she turned her attention to me more and more and more until it was becoming physical on her part, rubbing my thigh and holding my hand under the table. Basically behavior that if performed by me I'd have been had up for harassment. She threw herself at me and it was very apparent to everyone at the party. Now it was welcomed by me as we had been forming a relationship and had been flirting with each other for about 2 months before the party so it was not surprising to me or to some of those in attendance . But I knew that I could not act on any impulse I had to take her home or do anything due to today's social environment. It was a very strange feeling indeed. I knew that any act to consummate the evening could have led to my potential destruction. If she had become embarrassed by what happened or regretted her actions or been made to feel badly about the night, she could have merely said I forced myself on her and, Bob's yer uncle, I'm finished even though, even though... she initiated the whole scenario. This social (de)evolution has come so fast that I think most men are just not prepared for it. What prepared me for it was an unfortunate incident that happened to a coworker of mine about a year previously where he had said the wrong thing to the wrong woman and was dragged through the coals and lost his career as a result and was almost charged with harassment. Luckily for me I was paying attention to those things mentioned previously as well, seeing the character flaws, noting them and watching Open your eyes guys! Pay attention to what is said here. It CAN happen. Look for those red flags. Pay attention to your intuition.

Yes, women can be deceptive but ultimately it's the man's fault if he falls into the trap. This speaker is trying to help men to be smart about it, not to avoid women. Unfortunately, we men often times learn the hard way, but the key is to learn to be better next time around.

Avoid 99.99.9% of them and keep the rest at arm's length.

My mom and ex wife were devastating to my life being. The wrong woman sabotaged my green card several times. I'm 36, handsome, talented, & have been totally duped by society's narrative of women and love.

personality disordered, addicted, traumatized. Exactly the girl I got previously

This is the first presentation in my life that I listened twice in a row. It ended, I made a coffee and start it again to listen while working on my computer. Brilliant. You sir have made yourself a new reader and follower.

If u have a paidfor home never move her in. It's a disaster waiting to happen. In fact try your best not to even invite her over. Just meet up at a hotel or her place. Or use your friends house or whatever. and if you must move over in have a family member be power of attorney over the property. That will ensure she cannot get the house. Trust me on this one I know what I'm talkin about.

He makes some great points. Let's not forget that there are still some great women out there. It's just that there are great dangers in being with the WRONG woman in this political, cultural and legal environment.

Damn. I wish I would have had this information 30 years ago. I would have avoided so much grief. Thank God for Dr Smith and others who teach men concepts like this. Great information. Thank you for posting this.

According to Richard Dawkins the parasite gene will have phenotypic effect on the host. That means that a woman won't just steal your house but will first of cause you to work hard, faster and longer to build an even bigger house for you and the parasite before she will harvest you and move on to another host.

It's all very well talking about how to be careful with women. I've read the book and it's good. Problem for me as a 55 year old active fit man is that there are so very few women who are fit, not fat, active and not on medication for depression so whilst there may be a few decent women left finding them is such a chore that the juice is not worth the squeeze.

One of only a handful of speeches, that ever made sense to me and hit home. Well spoken Dr. Smith . Well received.

If a woman is afraid that you are "going to kill her". That to me is a strong indicator that she knows she is not loyal, will end up screwing you over, or whatever, and fears there will be consequences for her actions. So she is probably looking for reassurance that she will not be held responsible for any future dastardly action. As in she must be sure that the husband or mark is first and foremost a harmless domesticated beta provider. Preferably with a good alpha veneer to appease her instinctual nature as well. I guess we are passed the samurai days when a woman would ask for permission to kill herself or leave if she was so displeased with her situation. Just imagine if men and women lived by honor more than laws of good and evil.

Time is indeed on your side gentlemen. Catch the ball, take the knee, and run out the clock - see how they despair.

You might THINK she's the right woman, but you'll eventually find out you were WRONG

1st rule. NEVER get picked up by a woman. She NEVER has intentions that you'll do well from that kind of relationship.

I almost feel dirty giving 21 con a view, but I'm here for Shawn's content.

sounds like he's talking about "how to avoid a narcissist (female)" ~

This was me 5 years ago. I let her in my house first, then i gave her a job in my company. Then she offered me to buy her out for 15K. Although, I could afford it at the time, it didn't come easy and she did nothing to deserve it. She lived with her twin boys at my house, rent free, groceries twice a week while getting paid to be my assistant as I did the work myself cause she was just bad at it. She even had me watch the boys one night while she went out to the club with "sister". This went on for 4 months. Cost me what I mentioned plus an attempt at extorting me for 15K which it failed. Don't be like me. DON'T BE like me. No matter how good her vagina is. I'm seriously guys.

Dr Shawn is a great academic interpretation. Time, I agree. I think he's being kind to the financially successful men in the room, being charmed. I've known and worked with some very successful businessmen over the years and I found these guys have no clue about women. They think that women are like business and nothing could be farther from the truth. I watched a good guy, one of the best that I ever knew turn into a miserable person when he got taken in by a women just like Dr Shawn describes here. He was a victim of his own naivete about a scheming woman.The fact is that successful men are totally absorbed in what they're good at and haven't put the time into learning the ladies. This is found out when they try what has always worked for them in business and that doesn't work with women; at least the right women, hence they end up at the 21 conference. RESIST the temptation to throw the Mercedes out front. Do it the hard way with patience, time, and energy...and it will pay off. This 21 is good stuff!

He is right about the men who haven’t had to do that work. I came out of a heavy N FAMILY and healing from that has given me an almost auto eject button. I need to make sure I don’t Doo it too much. But man oh man, do I pick up on everything they haven’t figured out about themselves.

Always listen to your intuition. If she is gaslighting you, it only gets worse. Leave. Run.

Easy. Don't let any of them stay for long. 3 months tops. They are all the wrong choices.

As a woman watching this I don't know where to start. Interesting talk, I think it describes one subset of the female population. The guy made a right decision to not go ahead with the wedding, as if someone ever said that to me out of the blue I would think they have their wires crossed somewhere. But think for a bit what most men are attracted to. And also think why most women are attracted to men. I think society has a lot to do with it. Mothers condition girls to get married so that someone looks after you. You have a generations of brain washing, and you end up with women subconciously go for guess what, men to have the ability to provide. If you look on the other side, boys are conditioned to be "man of the house" and be a provider. They naturally are more incline to be career driven and make more money. Of course theres more to it than this. So that already sets some of the baseline - as a woman would you want to marry someone to look after them? So they naturally look up. For a guy if I am a good provider why wouldn't I choose - and choosing what is important. Would you be ok with marrying a woman that is more successful than you? At the end of the day, for both sides, choosing the wrong person basically fucks you up for life, period. Both women and men can be manipulative, narcissistic pieces of shit when they want to be.

when i clicked on this video i had a thought.... "this is a bad idea i am allready married"...

The intuition part of this video really struck a chord with me.I got a powerful gut feeling when I was talking to this girl I met.I should have followed it because she tried to set me up and get me hurt.

Trust your gut. Also read "The Laws of Human Nature" by Robert Greene.

Dr. Shawn T Smith is my favourite member of the manosphere.

wow an outstanding video. I wish I had this information 39 years ago.

Crazy how the guy had to "buy" the woman out.....basically pay her to leave......if only it were still the viking times and they would have to pay us to be allowed to leave.

Simple : GO MGTOW !

The negative intuitive feelings in a relationship can also come when you are confronted with chronic dysfunctional patterns, like evading problems, impulsiveness, reckless spending etc. Of course if a woman sees that the man she is involved with is irresponsible with money or has some basic character flaw, they are going to lock horns. It's not necessarily that the woman is the only one with major issues. It's better to be friends first and slowly work through issues of immaturity than to discover major issues after a romance has started.

A MUST-LISTEN.Volume is too low in the first few minutes, but stick with it. Great author great talk.

I am reading some of these comments all I am doing is shaking my head. There is 7 billion people on this planet. People have a few interactions with a few people from opposite sex and make all these broad statements that men and women are negative people. He is not bashing women. He is trying to teach men to properly vet women and change your energy so men can attract the right women. Listening to this seminar does not make me feel bitter. I learn from anybody and from anything.

I really liked most of this - as a woman, and a professional relationship psychotherapist. I get that culturally successful men are targets for a particular kind of woman, which kind of depresses me as a woman, then again, given that it's still harder for an equal number of women to bring pre existing success into a very equal relationship economically, this is going to continue unless that changes. It's a shame some men see themselves as a 'prize', there will always be a power imbalance in these relationships. I'm also concerned that it encourages people who don't have a psychology background to become too strategic when picking a 'mate', since we are NOT animals. But then, there's reality. I too have many couple clients where it is glaringly obvious that their problems are practical rather than emotional, and since 'advice giving' is not part of my job description all I can do is encourage them to address that reality themselves. I myself have had four long relationships, the third of which was with a clinically narcissistic man who at the same time assumed I needed him for economic security (I didn't it was a delusion) but took every opportunity to get me to pay for everything on various irrational justifications. Sadly, since my therapeutic remit does not include working with DSM defined issues, it took me a while to spot it. I'm glad you said this affects women too, because I could have done with keeping this wrong man out of my life.

I'm A BLACK MAN and This is GOLD!

Lots of MGTOW talk going on here and I think it’s an extreme view point. Remember to not be taken advantage of and use common logic when choosing women to spend time with. There are good human beings to be with that are women. Just a simple tip is don’t go for the best looking gal you can get if there’s nothing else in common.

Intelligence, kindness, industriousness, and the ability to provide.

Mine got me pretty good. Got moved to Japan where she admitted to having her affairs after 2 years there... due to her being military I was the one who ended up losing everything my home, my car, my job, my cat... Ive been living in a basement with my carryon that I left with for about a year now.... Don’t get married guys it will ruin you... If you do don’t let them have complete control of your life.

These videos in the manosphere have changed my life. Thank you

Nice is not kind. I've been saying that for years.

Another thing within the realm of intuition: whenever one person gets more out of the relationship than the other and initiates most of the interactions, that is a sign of entitlement. The excessive initiation of interaction and excessive establishment of interpersonal connection is a strong indicator of manipulative behavior. Most people I know establish interpersonal connection only a few times in an interpersonal relationship. This guy was an interpersonal SYN flood by comparison. It probably worked on a normal person as most people have automated mirror neurons that work from birth and are not questioned as much. I have Aspergers syndrome, which for me is a "software defined and introspective" set of mirror neurons along with a scale bending high verbal IQ and a STEM oriented brain. I could feel the intense awkwardness of the open and unfinished connections. My brain screamed "this interaction has exceeded the number of allowable open connections". I felt like this man's new toy. I also thought of him as mine in a sense, but very little reciprocation happened. My roommate who had introduced us then quickly told me who this man really was. This guy happened to be an entitled and insane drug addict who abused his GF and in so doing alienated every other friend he had. I grey rocked him as much as possible and started spending as much time in the lab as possible in order to avoid him and concentrate upon real friends and colleagues. It isn't just bad choices in women that cause men grief, but male friends as well.

They're always seeking to control relations, no matter how angelic they may come in

I wonder whether those #MeToo people appreciate the irony of "Pound me, too!" ?

Remember that all these things, she's doing to you in full awareness and on purpose and deliberately. They are very aware of personal things, much more so than men, and she uses her knowledge of brain function in order to control her man. The Bible has a very realistic view of women, as well as a portrait of the 'good woman' or אשת חיל which comes at the end of Proverbs. Ever wondered why the divorce rate among Jews is so low compared with the Gentiles around them?

Great speech. I felt there were a few things left unsaid that I believe guys need to watch out for who are looking for a good woman and hoping to avoid a bad one. 12 tell tale signs she's not going to be what you had hoped: 1. The sex is immediate and often. 2. The flattery to you is non-stop. 3. Her clothes are brand new and you never see the same outfit twice. 4. Three months go by and you haven't met her family. She doesn't ask about yours. 5. She doesn't encourage you to see your friends. 6. You've caught her in a lie more than once early in the relationship. 7. She neglects important aspects of her life. 8. Clutter happens, dirt sometimes, too, but filth anywhere in her life is a bad sign. 9. She won't let you touch her phone. 10. She has absences she won't account to. 11. Her bills are out of control. 12. Excessive credit card use. I call these the dirty dozen. There are exceptions but if you can spot three or more, you can guarantee she will be the kind of woman who will mistreat the people in your life, including you. Get out while you can. I have seen more than one great guy fall for a bad woman and didn't understand why he couldn't see it and then I chose a bad boy and realized that it's hard to see from opposite sides what we need to see. Good luck, guys. And your welcome.

John Claude van dam spitting knowledge

My 16yo son will watch this today.

Thanks 🙏, I needed to hear this . I am a red pill MGTOW but it’s always good to refresh up on the pitfalls of women , I love a women by its like walking through a mine field

Freeloader man / 31yrs. Old. Looking for Free Room & board CARETAKERS GOOD HEARTED & puts UP with his lack of gratitude & or appreciation. He is insecure. Yet He Smart & CREATIVE & idealist.

Too deep. You know when you’ve found the right woman. Forget money. You either fit together or you don’t. Relationships are hard work from time to time. My wife has been wheelchair-bound for 32 years. I wouldn’t swap her. Even if I could time travel. Right person then and now. She only has months to live now but still she’s the right one for me. He’s treating it like a financial deal. 🤨

tell her you're a men's rights activist on your first date, her reaction will tell you everything you need to know

Fantastic speech! Vet the woman - that is really powerful.