"Ladies, men know within FOUR MONTHS if you are the one or not. It don't take us that long. Men are simple. Men go HARD for what they want. If he's not chasing and pursuing you, you are NOT what he wants!" (Steve Harvey) The key is to not let a mofo string you along for months or even years without a ring or marriage. I would say 1-2 years max. DO NOT move in with a man as a "girlfriend" giving him all the benefits of a husband, without making you his WIFE! He's just using you for s3x, cooking, cleaning, etc.; until his "dream girl" shows up. Then he'll leave you, and marry her.
All girlfriends are placeholders…. Date many men at once (online dating and real life networking)…. No sex until engagement (ring & date set) or marriage You’ll be married in 1-6 months
Stop trying to justify cheating, it's disgusting. Also, why would you want to marry somebody you've only known for months? Sounds like a divorce coming. No one should cheat, and no one should marry someone they're not in a relationship, otherwise is an EXTREMELY idiotic move.
Also, there is no way to find a good man that way. No good man will allow cheating, or marry somebody within months of knowing them. That's a 0 self-respecting desperate boy, not a good man.
I am the number one placeholder for men. That is why I think I should be single. Being a placeholder is not far for men because they should save all that love for the women they want to be with.
A grown man will know if a woman compliments his life and is a Real Blessing for him. Not because he’s in love with her. He makes the choice to love her. Make more videos and share your thoughts, Christy. Peace always be with you and your family, Sweet♥️rt.
That was me and it's the worst feeling in the world. He even had the audacity to come back and tell me I meant a lot to him just to ghost me to get into a relationship with a much younger than him girl. Ladies, cut a man off if he treats you this way. You will know.
A man can marry you and still use you as a place holder unfortunately. Did you see that story in the shade room page? A man married a woman, took millions from her, and divorced when she was broke. She saw a text from his phone where he's telling a friend, she's no longer has any money, it's time for him to leave her. Things are scary out there.
Great advice. I would also say to continue to date when you’re bettering yourself and enjoying your singledom; it will become clearer to who really likes you and who doesn’t.
Girl, your kind of advice is so unpopular and difficult to reach. If a woman googles about dating or searches on youtube she's going to get across something like Mathew Hussey, Rosenfeld who basically teach women to be placeholders, to get a pseudo relationship. Then there are the relationship "psychologists" who basically put the effort of the relationship on the woman by suggesting to read about "love languages", try to understand the partner, communication blabla. Because when a woman is in a placeholder situation she's gonna feel unloved, anxious, depressed, she might start to act out, becoming manipulative and then the guy can always say "you're making this relationship impossible. it didn't work because you're crazy, clingy, etc". They'll be reading about attachment styles so basically to learn how to prolonge and be convenient for the man. If she's a well behaved placeholder and doesnt ask questions and plays along she won't be discarded as fast. In narcissism language a placeholder is a IPSS (intimate partner secondary supply) and sometimes they are promoted to IPPs (intimate partner primary supply). I've told a guy who i met once about my placeholder situation (left me mentally disabled and suicidal) and he said that i wasn't pretty...just not ugly. And I was 'easy', 'easy to fool', because I had such an agreeable personality. He said other women, the type all men want, are so 'difficult'. I looked like an easy convenience... I knew when he asked me for a relationship and still fell for it because i was so vulnerable. I told him "what kind of relationship do you want? Because i don't want a casual, temporary hobby like relationship that ends as soon someone better appears right at the corner". (my gut) And he replied: I can't guarantee that i won't find anyone in the future but i can guarantee while in a relationship with me I'll never make you sad (the gradiose). He told the truth but as soon he noticed the arrangement didn't work he blamed it on his bad english and that i misunderstood. basically what he said is that i was a temporary for him but while he was using me he would be getting me some compensation usually in the form of gifts, favors, trips. I thought those were investments, he was spending time and money on me (something i never experienced) because he liked me. This kind of situations is what causes mental and physical illness. I asked him in tears "why are you ashamed of me? whats wrong with me?". And then he would come with a gift, buy me my favorite snacks, fill up my fridge and tell me..."you're misunderstanding everything". It's too late for me and my life had been ruined beyond repair. Hope this information can reach as many young women as possible.
Girl, what's to be sad about. Get him for everything he's got, make him a placeholder as well , use him to pay your bills, as a human dildo, sugardaddy, f-boy then drop him and go find someone else worthy of you. You have to treat these types of relationships as a business deal.
Hi Sara, I would highly reccomend you search Tony Gaskins' videos. You are in time to improve your life in all aspects. We are all in time. But we need to be intentional and willing to work in our selves and do our inner work. You need to learn to love yourself and decide to become the best version of yourself from all points of view. Tony Gaskins provides a solid start (through his free online videos, he talks about relationship dynamic, etc), just give a look. Remember, every one of us is unique and this is our power as individuals.
Don’t let these dumb men have you thinking you are a place holder. You are the damn prize! 🏆🏆🏆 Put yourself first in everything and a real man will see you for the Queen that you are! 👑👑👑
These Dusty men NEED you to believe you're not enough, you're not good enough, they need you to believe you're position with a man is to be a pick me placeholder. Why? Because it makes it easier for him and the next man and the next man to treat you like crap and you'll just take it. You'll put up with the bare minimum. So you see it's all self serving from selfish stingy self centered men. It's never too late to create boundaries that will protect and serve you. I personally will not share my body until my needs are met FIRST. I made a promise to myself to put my happiness and my needs above all when it comes to men. Love yourself, fall deeply in love with yourself and a man will fall in love with you too.
even if he marries you he could still be using you to build his wife and leave you once he's build and marries someone much younger and give her everything you worked hard for !
I have a question I’ve been dating my woman for two years going on three years coming up February 20, 2024 and I would like to know if because we’ve been dating going on now for three years is she a long-term placeholder girlfriend or is she as I’ve always seen her my potential wife that I’m planning on proposing to this year. Thank you for this video because this is showing me on what not to do with her. I’ve never really done this, but this is a great reminder and to be honest, a scare tactic to continually always do right by her so thank you for this video.
It sounds like she is the one for you. If she was a placeholder you would not be afraid of loosing her. A placer is someone you keep until you find someone better.
@@kimberlyturner820 thank you I appreciate it yes she’s an amazing woman. truthfully I will completely transparent with you at times I didn’t believe that I deserved her ( due to certain things that I have done within our relationship no hint of cheating at all but straight silliness) but I’ve already knew and always have told her for a very long time that I will do right by her ( ie marrying her/ staying married to her) I will propose to her this year I appreciate your support
Well what are you looking for in a relationship are you looking to be settled down and get married? Are you the marry type of girl? What do you really want out of your relationship?
@@Miss.TJ516 Lmao that's dumb. You should at least know somebody for a year before deciding to marry. That's an easy way to a miserable life, good luck in divorce! Hopefully he has a prenuptial agreement!
I have historically been the one that dudes have figured they can go out and then come back to. Im the "wife" one. Jokes on them. I dont want them, either. Placeholders and wife types unite. Kick they buns to the curb. No more of these shenanigans.
@@tennesseechristy7361 they probably think they are ready at some point. I know a few that have decided they have done enough shenanigans and tried crawling back. But, nah, broski. I was always too smart for you. You can't keep me in your back pocket when the world is full of other people. I don't care what you think on your own mind
Serious question?? Is it possible for him to be in love but you're still a placeholder (even if he's not doing it consciously)??? OR is it a guarrantee that you're not a placeholder if he's ACTUALLY in love with you??
My friend has been “dating” this guy for over a year.. she’s met his friends and mother. Tell me why he don’t post her on socials and his profile says single 👀
I'm everyone's placeholder. 😢 Wow is that your first name? I have it written down on my list of possible baby names, even though I'm fooling myself to believe that will ever happen for me anyway bc nothing good ever comes to me anyway.
