Out of all the videos I have viewed you are truly the most informative and provide so much clarity. I would not be surviving and at the best peace I can be at without your videos at this time.
My Ex DA broke up with me almost 1 month ago. It was the third break-up. I've immediately started NC without asking him for any explanation. By watching a lot of videos on RU-vid I finally have learnt about attachment styles. I had never heard of this before. The result of my research was that my Ex is an DA and suddenly I understood the reason of the break ups. The reason for the first one was "rejection," the second because of pressure, and the third one because I've triggered his fear of controlling him. I'm still in love with him and I really hope that he will recontact me, so we both could try to get a third chance for a relationship, now that I know how to "handle" a DA. Meanwhile I move on and I'm working on being much more secure!! Sorry for my English! Greetings from Germany. Alexis you are the best "therapist " and you helped me a lot. Merci beaucoup! PS: I did the test, my score is 21 🤞
I tried to save the relationship 3 times but in vain. She was totally hardhearted, refused to meet me. After the 3rd time, I wrote her the best love letter ever and said goodbye.
I especially like this one, Alexis. I’ve been giving him a lot of space this last week and a half, but he messaged me this morning that he wants to come over and talk to me, and I’m pretty sure from that tone, he’s going to break up with me. So it’s good to see what to do and not do before it actually happens. I have no idea why he would want to, except he’s really avoidant and the more I see him feel, the more he’s been pulling away. We actually get along really great. So sad.
@@kellyseager8163 nothing- he never had the guts to face me. I haven’t seen him in nine weeks and don’t want to at this point. He sent me a generic/vague letter about how hard this is for him because of his feelings for me and how I deserve better and more, as if it went up to him. He’s cowardly and weak. I didn’t respond- I was still waiting for the face to face, which he’s not brave enough to do. I’ve put myself wayout there for him, and moved here etc- I will never do anything based on someone else again. I’ve lost so much from my former life by coming here, and feel really foolish.
My ex and I hang out at the same places. Hard to avoid him. He has been seeing all the men I am now talking to. He can stay at home and watch tv, just as he wanted to do when we were together.
My man i don't know if i should call him an exe or what.. He just went silent after an argument, he is an introvert and we are on a long distance relationship.. Ihv tried reaching out we solve the problem but in vain, its now 3 weeks no communication. I started No conduct after the 3 weeks, hope he comes back
Same situation here with my ex, she me ghosted after 10 months, and I sent 3, 4 messages since her last contact, over the course of 3 wweks, just asking for some clarity and why she was being so weird about replying. Went no contact after too.... How are things for you now?
The wonderful thing is that, the more I watch these types of videos, the lazier I feel about trying to get back my ex BF. I broke up with him a few months ago and have been exploring the depths of my remorse... I think maybe I "done good" putting him back on the shelf. Alas, if only we could have a CONVERSATION... LOL... but that is the magic sauce they forgot to throw in the bag at the drive-thru... I'm like: should I turn around or just go home?
have to dissagree. some times people are so afraid of rejection, they may want to reach out but wont, beause of unprocessed guilt. fearful avoidants specifically can sometimes have so much guilt it prevents them from reaching out because they're terrified of being rejected...especially if they're rejection sensitive folks like myself and my ex..we're both adhd and both an the autism spectrum .
What if you aren't contacting them but they're contacting you 1-2 a week? I dumped him originally but we both decided recently to reestablish boundaries since he needed it as an avoidant but so do I, as an anxious but don't tolerate it as well.. I will say it's difficult to not have any expectations in this case. We do intend on getting back together, I think, so it seems ok. Perhaps I just need to manage my anxiety better..?
What if I broke it off and he keeps. Coming back after I tell him to leave me alone, to move on and let me go. He won’t stop. All While blocking me and unblocking me. I broke it off a year ago. Why won’t he leave me alone if he won’t heal.
My avoidant ex is a clinical depressive. He is unsure about whether ours is a wise relationship and is sending mixed messages. The chemistry between us is really good and I care deeply for him. I can't resist giving this my best shot. Is this foolish?
But if you broke no contact 2-3 times chasing your ex for half a year and then leave her saying on the last time that she can reach out if she ever desires so? Another half year passed over the last break of no contact and she is now on tinder, but still stalking me on instagram, watching stories and liking my posts. But hasn’t reached out.
My ex ghosted me as soon as I challenge him to step up his game cause we are 13 hours apart. He blocked me on Facebook, messenger and changed his phone number. Broke NC twice since March. The first time I broke the Nc was 14 days. We talked, we kissed and it led to another. But before we had sec I told him "no" many times. But since it's been 5 years since the last time we saw each other, I gave-in and broke my own boundaries. We plan to meet again the next month. But I was still blocked on everything. I went around the block and then he told me "I don't want to hear anything from you anymore". I was shocked cause I thought we were trying to fix things. I calmly told him I respected his decision and I told him how much I love him for the last time before we said our goodbyes. Now we are in 45 day NC. Made 15 pages of letters for him, planning to send it to him this month. Good thing I didn't. I'm older than him 9 years and it's his birthday next month. I did not know he was a DA until I came across these kinds of videos on you tube while I was in my lowest low. I still love him though. Im just unsure if I still want him to be a part of my life. Sending him a birthday card is really tempting. Should I send him one ?
Sounds toxic as hell. I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better. If you think it would help your healing, I would send him the letter, but with the understanding that it will likely push him away more and he will not reciprocate your feelings.
