How to listen like a therapist: 4 secret skills

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Improve your relationships by learning the 4 secret skills that therapists use every day.
Timestamps:
0:00 - Introduction to active listening skills
1:22 - Reflect back what you hear
3:08 - Ask “What is this like for you?”
5:23 - Validation
8:04 - Understand ambivalence (motivational interviewing)
10:39 - When to do these skills and why they are hard
11:15 - Therapist secrets playlist: • Behind the scenes of t...
11:34 - Get comfortable being uncomfortable weekly challenge & comment of the week
13:27 - Additional video resources
- How to deal with emotions in a healthy way: • How to deal with emoti...
- How to overcome anxiety with exposure: • How To Start Overcomin...
13:35 - My Get comfortable being uncomfortable goal
14:49 - Thank you for an awesome 2019!
Want to talk to Dr. Ali Mattu? Join the call in show by filling out this form: docs.google.com/forms/d/1zsWc...
Special thanks to Elizabeth S., Tyler D., Anna H., Arnt J., Collin P., Evan A., Imran M., Sam D., Ryan L., Sophie Y., Ahmed Y, Israel P., Neuro Transmissions, Eric E., Eve P., Lauren K., BrainCraft, Aaron F., Samuel H., Marisa H.,Tae T., Steve M.,, Bryan T., Nicky C., Samuel A., Anton T., Jennifer C., Shanda W., Saleem H. P., Sri S., Alex N., Denise J., Emily W., Samar, Lars B., Pipitchy, Emily, Troy C., Alexandre V., Jose, Julie, H., Rebecca E., Mariana D. M., Karl S., Cesalie S., Greg M., Christy, BobC, Sam, and Lena F. H. for making this episode possible! Learn how you can help me make The Psych Show and get exclusive behind the scenes access in return at / thepsychshow .
Learn more:
* 10 Steps To Effective Listening: www.forbes.com/sites/womensme...
* Free course in motivational interviewing: healtheknowledge.org/course/i...
* Motivational interviewing forms: www.nova.edu/gsc/forms/gsc-fo...
Connect with Ali:
Twitter ► / alimattu
Facebook ► / thepsychshow
Instagram ► / alimattu
Snapchat ► / alimattu
Patreon ► / thepsychshow
Email ► ali@thepsychshow.com
Website ► alimattu.com/
THE PSYCH SHOW! Creating mental health videos that educate, entertain, and empower! Produced, written, and edited by clinical psychologist Ali Mattu, Ph.D. All videos are provided for informational purposes only and do not constitute clinical advice.
If you or someone you know needs help immediately, you should take one of the following actions:
- call 9-1-1 in the United States or your country's emergency number: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of...
- call the Lifeline at 1-800-273 TALK (8255) in the United States or a global crisis hotlines: www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis...
- text START to 741-741 in the United States or visit chat.suicidepreventionlifeline...
- go to your nearest hospital emergency room

Опубликовано:

2 июн 2024

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Комментарии : 458

@carmendevine7244 17 дней назад

I know some therapists who frequently validate pretty much anything people say, I always feel "handled" it's an obvious technique and it makes them so much harder to trust or relate to

@karinblak6387 4 года назад

I'm a therapist, and I HATE the "and how does that make you feel" too. I believe it is a limiting question which doesn't actually allow the client to talk about their full experience. "What was/is that like for you?" is open to any answer when we can then work with and narrow down in whichever direction the client needs to take it. And ... I'm loving your videos! :)

@drali 4 года назад

100% agree!!! Thanks for taking the time to comment. Hope you are staying safe and healthy during this time.

@jaydaaa876 4 года назад

My counselor keep asking me that. And i dont know what to say

@Styles.rp25 3 года назад

Yes, that saying is so Cliche, ugh. I avoid it as well.

@Angelamarie2330 3 года назад

same!!!!! Absolutely cannot stand "how does that make you feel"

@jamesjdm 2 года назад

I'm a therapist and I agree. I rank it up there with "I understand". Not my favorite phrase lol

@dameanvil 6 месяцев назад

01:21 🎯 Therapist's secret skill #1: Reflect back what the other person is saying to show you're listening, increase empathy, and clarify understanding. 03:20 🧠 Instead of asking "How does that make you feel?" ask how the person is experiencing the situation to better understand their emotions and thoughts. 05:33 🌟 Practice validation to help the person understand that their feelings and experiences are valid, regardless of whether they make sense to you. 07:06 🤔 Understand ambivalence: Recognize when someone is torn between wanting to make a change and facing barriers. Ask what benefits they find in their current situation.

@sula1529 16 дней назад

Thank you so much ❤❤❤❤

@anniea3411 4 года назад

Not only are you an awesome psychologist, you're also very engaging and FUN to listen to. I hope to be a clinical psychologist like you!

@drali 4 года назад

Awww thank you!!!!

@miou4u 3 года назад

Ambivalence "talked" to my heart 🤣 Great video!!

@jagnoork6013 Месяц назад

Me too! I want to be a clinical psychologist too 💕

@le_th_ Месяц назад

I do this all the time with toddlers and little kids (in a very kind, empathic tone). This is why they adore me. I'm not special, I simply listen, validate their feelings, and sometimes I ask them if they can do something else next time, if its appropriate to the situation and they need redirection.

@rsh793 Месяц назад

Especially important for children that age to be heard and validated in their feelings - so love that and it's so lovely to hear. Kids love to be treated like that and heard and it helps them learn early too x

@Mushroom321- Год назад

" get comfortable being uncomfortable = "Consistent with your values.. " 😃 GREAT EXPLAINING!!

@divergentone777 Месяц назад

Some people do see validation as approval, and some people don't want to work through their experiences, but rather voice them over and over again to seek more validation

@Ash-gj2lf 25 дней назад

Some therapists also create this dynamic because they aren’t well trained. A good therapist will quickly get past the validations and into the healing and growth.

@LyrixNChill 18 дней назад

This right here. Had a friend who always painted herself as a victim to anyone who would listen. But the minute anyone try to dig deeper into her narrative, she would shut down the conversation and go complain to someone else who didn’t realize she was making up 80% of her stories

@Lennythewinner 13 дней назад

And such people are so exceedingly tiresome.

@divergentone777 13 дней назад

@@Lennythewinner AMEN TO THAT!

@michals2351 Год назад

This is honestly in my top 3 most important videos I have seen in my life. I have watched it like 20 times now because it made me realize how bad of a listener I was and could never make other person I was talking with comfortable. Thank you so much.

@user-zu7xk9ki6f Год назад

what are the other 2?

@michals2351 Год назад

@@user-zu7xk9ki6f Other one is regarding diet. Especially how bad carbs are for your body. It is from Dr Eric Berg

@user-zu7xk9ki6f Год назад

@@michals2351 thank you!

@peach3813 Год назад

This helped me understand my therapists intentions from their actions. When they clarify, I felt hurt that they compressed my issues into a couple of sentences as if it’s not that big. But now knowing it’s coming from a place of listening and meaning of understanding, I don’t feel angry anymore lol

@joyking2231 11 месяцев назад

Cool, love freedom from even a pain filled MISUNDERSTANDING.

@jcr3500 19 дней назад

This is an important thing for therapists to understand. I think I would feel this way too.

@graceg3250 18 дней назад

Maybe voice your interpretations with your therapist

@maelaine6266 3 дня назад

I've always felt this way too! Had no idea there was an explanation for it

@kticelovingit4801 18 дней назад

My counselor (therapist) doesn't seem to care ,it's a job ,employment, so to speak. Doesn't let me finish the questions he asks. I feel like a piece of me dies every time after seeing him. Thank God for my psychiatrist.

@user-tj2yx2bf3w 17 дней назад

You need another therapist 😮

@aceofspace99 16 дней назад

That's my question. Is it possible for you to get a different therapist? You're worth it.

@kticelovingit4801 16 дней назад

@aceofspace99 thank you for saying that's because after talking to him, I don't feel worth.

@aceofspace99 15 дней назад

It is VERY important.

@attheranch873 8 дней назад

Why are you still seeing him? There doesn’t seem to be any benefit to you, just harm. ☹️ it would be therapeutic for you to leave 🌷I wish you the best

@Rashaunbrown87 27 дней назад

I adopted this into my sales interactions. It works for me when dealing with Lost Accounts and frustrated customers.

@mugishagisa4884 18 дней назад

It works better in hospitality industry

@susantompkins4254 2 года назад

I've just past a pychotherapy exam at 63 years old. I feel like I'm too old, my only regret is that I wished I did this years ago because I would love to be as good and confident as you and to help so many people. Thank you for all of your great advice 👍 I'm continuing learning as much as I can because I'm loving it 😀

@bryanferguson4927 Год назад

That's great Susan! I'm right behind you at 54 years old and getting my Master's in counseling. Your life experiences will add a TON as a therapist.

@susantompkins4254 Год назад

@@bryanferguson4927 congratulations for achieving your maters degree, I'm so very happy for you, and a bit jealous 😀 I think it good people like you that keeps the word going

@JoBrew Год назад

Well done Susan, I have similar concerns about being ‘too old’. I’m a university undergrad doing a major in psychology. I have an honours year after I finish my degree before I can even begin a masters program. I’ll be 55 by the time I have finished!

@bryanferguson4927 Год назад

@@JoBrew You're brave and you can do it. I'll be finished with my master's at 56. I placed a large sign on the wall, above my computer, when I finally decided to go back to school and follow my dream. It reads, "WHATEVER IT TAKES..."

@anthonyharmon9265 Год назад

Student loan debt after 50 is a nightmare scenario.....as is the reality you'll pay on it for the rest of your life 🙄

@sebastian_goat 9 месяцев назад

the “validation” piece is interesting-i think you need to be careful with that one. you don’t want to be the one ALWAYS validating them or they won’t learn how to have confidence in their own experiences. Exceptions I can think of are people who have experienced abuse/trauma and don’t trust their own feelings, and teens/kids who don’t have an understanding of “normal” or “appropriate” reactions.

@SharlenesJourney Год назад

I’m a listener and I love listening to people a lot of people are very smart and already know what they need to do I love to validate them and make them understand that they’re on the right path listening is so helpful a lot of us just have so much in our head but once talking it out you begin to analyze and put pieces together 😊 I’m also an empath so I think this plays a huge part in it I hate seeing people sad or down we are not here to be anxious but here to just live our life and overcome our obstacles

@dpeterman945 15 дней назад

"What's going on in your body? " instead of "how do you feel?". Brilliant. I've just finished a long chunk of therapy and this approach is so much more useful. For me, it gets me out of my head and gives way more information.

@hangry_panda 4 года назад

I'm getting my ph.d. in clinical psycology, these will be soooo useful for me in the future. Thank you so much!!!

@aadityamenon8774 4 года назад

Melissa Silenzio from which uni?? I am planning to do masters in clinical psychology and then phd in the same.

@angerodz6782 3 года назад

Same, currently feel like I'm struggling in first sessions technique because I'm overthinking too much.

@phyoewaipaing6670 Год назад

What you didn't mention in this video is you used your voice tone beautifully and I'm sure it must help a lot when you meet with the patients. Thank you sir.

@justinking4172 8 месяцев назад

I’m a grad student and just found this guy. He’s a likeable RU-vidr and seems like a great communicator. I just subscribed and I’ll be using his channel as an additional resource - I’m currently taking Techniques class and start my practicum in January so I’m trying to absorb and practice some of these skills he’s talking about

@drali 4 года назад

Timestamps: 0:10 - Introduction to active listening skills 1:22 - Reflect back what you hear 3:08 - Ask “What is this like for you?” 5:23 - Validation 8:04 - Understand ambivalence (motivational interviewing) 10:39 - When to do these skills and why they are hard 11:15 - Therapist secrets playlist: ru-vid.com/group/PLItaCgXIQkHefVtJ4xObrbLipU5dds0ae 11:34 - Get comfortable being uncomfortable weekly challenge & comment of the week 13:27 - Additional video resources - How to deal with emotions in a healthy way: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-_PxY-SPGl4w.html - How to overcome anxiety with exposure: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-D0pxEmdHlqs.html 13:35 - My Get comfortable being uncomfortable goal 14:49 - Thank you for an awesome 2019!

@bobcunningham6953 4 года назад

Yeah, that looks like a topic list for future videos. Each of these is worth unpacking on its own.

@drali 4 года назад

+Bob Cunningham that’s a great point! Each one could be a separate video.

@bobcunningham6953 4 года назад

@@drali There is so much depth here to explore, yet many of us need skills we can apply today. I have no idea how you will strike that balance, but I'm here for the duration. It's like I want the "tricks" that will help me "get by" now, while simultaneously wanting the deeper knowledge that will help me understand what's "really" going on for the long haul.

@slxbeats8146 3 года назад

@@bobcunningham6953 same

@jonnyhtcdesire 3 года назад

I really enjoyed this video. Are there any awesome books you'd recommend for a beginning therapist in training stage?

@hildayacoubian9312 4 года назад

It’s so true that what you thought was important as a therapist was not an important aspect for the patient. As a patient I’ve experienced that, so it definitely is great when they reflect back, because we all have our schemas and tend to interpret events through those. ♥️

@drali 4 года назад

Thanks for sharing this perspective! Good to hear it’s true on both ends 🙌🏽

@payalsingh360 4 года назад

I used to volunteer at a crisis hotline, and this was the exact training I was provided while working there. It works beautifully, but I've always struggled to apply this in my personal life

@lyinbobbycottonseed Месяц назад

I’ll help you out with in, my sister

@medlifey1170 Год назад

Is Validation the oposite of Gaslighting ?

@ireb3l 4 года назад

Im a first year psychology student and these videos are not only motivational but full of useful information that we can learn from. Please don’t stop posting such amazing content.

@izabelarzodkiewicz2839 2 года назад

Hi, it's been 2 years since you commented this, but I wanted to ask (if it's okay with you) how is it going with your studies?

@ireb3l 2 года назад

@@izabelarzodkiewicz2839 Hi, I’m still a second year student and its going really well because I’m passionate about it :)

@cocotulle23 16 дней назад

I’m just going to say that if you’re watching this video you’re a really good person. 💛

@KFCJones 14 дней назад

Yeah? Well if you're making random comments like that, then you're a really good person too! ❤

@claudiaschneider5744 14 дней назад

@@KFCJones 😅🤣😂😆

@anitaespinosa6146 12 дней назад

If you are responding to this comment, you are like rays of sunshine emanating from the life giving star that you are. ✨

@ness3700 4 года назад

I’m a therapist for a year and a half now and it comes naturally:)

@drali 4 года назад

💯! Once you’ve been doing it for awhile it feels as natural as walking.

@ness3700 4 года назад

The Psych Show thank you. Everyday is a learning experience. I enjoy your videos! I am currently pre-license and I enjoy learning from other therapist who have amazing information, not only for newbies but for the public in general. Keep up the good work !

@drali 4 года назад

Thank YOU so much for your encouragement and kind words! Any type of videos you’d like to see in the future? Good luck on your journey. Hope you get a good self care break over the next two weeks.

@fetilu0975 4 года назад

What kind of approach do you use ?

@drali 4 года назад

My specialty is anxiety and I’m trained as a cognitive behavioral therapist (emphasis on the behavioral).

@jamesjdm 2 года назад

I'm a licensed therapist and I really love your videos! I'm a big believer in practicing nthe fundamentals to avoid the "expert mind" and your video really helps me remember some of the most powerful basic tools we can utilize to connect with and understand our clients! Thanks!!

@punkhead-dv9lg 3 года назад

I am personally in high school but have friends who have a lot of mental stuff. I try to help and I am trying to give the best amount of help I could with my knowledge

@gregorymoon 10 месяцев назад

I will practice. I will reflect back to the other person. Reflect what they said. No interruptions. Empathy and understanding. Am I hearing you right? To know what you are experiencing. You have to care to become a shared understanding - notes I took from your video. What's life like for you? Is this the general norm for everyone. Probably. we all suffer like this - wow - that's great to understand that now.

@iesouschristosnika777 Год назад

More therapists need to watch this video than you know.

@drali Год назад

Always good to have a refresher on these topics

@waynepolo6193 Месяц назад

@@drali Dr. Ali out here jukin’ and jivin’ like you don’t know what he really meant 😂

@claudiaschneider5744 14 дней назад

Honestly - I gave up on therapists lately - its just a waste of time and money - I am my own therapist now - just help myself now.

@waynepolo6193 14 дней назад

@@claudiaschneider5744 Then why are you watching one?

@howardowens721 15 дней назад

Early in my relationship with my late wife (30 years together) she was telling me something her husband said to her and I asked, “how did that make you feel?” She said crying. I didn’t understand why. She told me, “that’s the first time a man ever asked me what I feel about anything.” I was shocked. It seemed that a natural obvious question to me. I would suggest the question is different in the context of a therapy session than it is in a personal conversation between two people who have a bond as friends or lovers.

@ujjwals.dadwal8911 Год назад

Skill Number One: Reflecting Back! - This happened to you and you experienced this you did this as a result, Does that sound right? - When you reflect back then you realize how you missed the important details - Everything is built upon this skill? Skill Number Two: What is this like for you? - People are feeling so many different things that they don’t know what they are feeling - People have hard time putting words to emotions - How are they experiencing this; what’s going on in your body? What was popping on in your head? - One person really feels bummed or sad while other feels like hitting something or breaking something - As you were describing this, how are you feeling this in your body? Skill Number Three: Validation - Always validate other persons emotion, if they make sense to you - If I had been going through all of this, I would have been feeling this too! - It makes so much sense you are upset about this x, y & z happened - It’s not supporting or approving, you’re saying you get it and I might have done the same Skill Number Four: Ambivalance - Ambivelence is how much torn you are in changing your decision? - What are the things you enjoy about this? - How is this activity/habit helping you? - What are the things you dislike about this? - How willing you are to change this activity from 0 to 10 - What made you think so?

@xoKaylaMay 4 года назад

Have you ever cried during a session listening to someone's situation? If so, how do you control yourself in that moment?

@the.punkmonk 3 года назад

Personally, I actually allow myself to cry along with the other person -- I find that mirroring their feelings and validating their experience is an INCREDIBLY powerful tool if used properly. I never force tears, though -- they have to come genuinely -- and with practice have become able to remain present and grounded enough not to let my own emotions run away with me and steal the other person's thunder. Crying is incredibly cathartic and I wish there wasn't so much shame around it! Some of my own favorite therapists have allowed themselves to shed tears in the room with me. I'm an executive/business coach myself, not a therapist, so am curious what Dr Mattu has to say on this subject.

@lupe3986 3 года назад

@@the.punkmonk love this, I've had my therapist cry while I was speaking and honestly made me feel like they were really listening, empathetic, and like I shouldn't continue to suppress emotions.

@naturallyours21 3 года назад

I'm also curious about this response. Personally, I remember being in session with a new therapist who started crying while I worked through the grief of losing my father. Seeing her cry was the most distracting thing for me and instead of being able to remain fully in emotions and process, I found myself trying to console her and deal with her response. Long story short, I thought it was best to find a different therapist.

@the.punkmonk 3 года назад

@@naturallyours21 so, there are different levels of crying. I will allow myself to empathize with my clients and let my eyes get moist or a year or two to fall. But I *always* hold the stronger frame and keep the spotlight squarely on them. My function is to help them co-regulate, and not steal their thunder. If your therapist was taking over the room with their feelings, sounds totally right that you went looking for someone else. (It took me a long while to find a therapist that meet my high standards too, and it's been totally worth it!)

@naturallyours21 3 года назад

@@the.punkmonk I hear you and agree that it can be a useful approach to supporting some people. This example was my first experience working with a therapist. I am an empath and I'm very sensitive when it comes to the emotions of other people. Knowing the kind of support I needed, this particular person wasn't the best fit for me, but I was able to find a different therapist who was able to hold space for me in the way that I needed.

@user-nm6li5jc4r 6 дней назад

This video has been on my feed for a number of years and I've ignored until today, validating, thanks

@Cotfi2 18 дней назад

You got Hank Green energy.

@amrutamahajan9627 8 месяцев назад

I work as a Therapist, and while I understand the intention of this video is to make people more aware about listening skills - I feel that these tips are more for the role of a therapist than a friend / acquaintance. If I were to have a discussion with a friend and they ask me "where do you feel that in your body" that does not make any sense. Let relationships be relationships without having the need to "therapize" them.

@echotheresa 4 года назад

I think another thing that's really undervalued is simply asking the other person what they're looking for. Sometimes they won't know, but a lot of the time, people will respond with answers like "I think I just want to complain." or "It would be nice to just be listened to, you know?". To me, it feels more eye-to-eye than what's described in the video and even if you want to do what's described in the video, it won't hurt to know that's actually what you should do.

@TirrickObadiahSmith 3 года назад

This doctor is so informative and I enjoy learning from him. Thank you, Soon to be: Dr. Tirrick Obadiah Smith

@organizer14 Год назад

Can you explain how to facilitate a therapy support weekly group?

@theman2017inc 14 дней назад

I am 4 years late into discovering your platform (Sunday, May 19th 2024) Another interesting channel alongside Orion Taraban, Psy.D (Psychacks) Ramani Durvasula (Doctor Ramani) and Kenny Weiss. Will definitely delve into your backlog/ library of posts, sir. Happy Sunday from London, UK.

@johannamia2655 13 дней назад

Smth that’s so great about this video is that you can use this in relationship with yourself as well. I have a BAD habit (based in trauma) to invalidate my own experiences and feelings sm. Recently I saw my need for validation from myself and acted on that, and so experienced sm relief

@byjacquelineb 3 года назад

Thank you for making this video!

@emiliam778 4 года назад

As always very helpful, thank you for that video.

@deepun9091 11 месяцев назад

Thanks! Pure gold and so helpful.....

@charleskutner6346 29 дней назад

Excellent video, clear and concise. Thanks.

@Mushroom321- Год назад

THANK YOU for the video & content!! 👏👏👏

@infinitelyweird 4 года назад

Very helpful! Thank you! My boyfriend is struggling with a drug addiction, I’m trying to help but it’s really hard to communicate openly and it’s really hard for me to understand his struggles.. He wants to overcome it but it’s a process..

@dalpz205 2 года назад

I hope you had resolve. I think the problem is not that you need to listen. Someone on drugs (with variances due to drug) will not know the difference with such altered brain chemicals.

@LadungsBlitz 16 дней назад

This stuff is gold !

@katrinadutton9156 15 дней назад

Heck yeah! Thanks Doc for this video!!

@skionen1781 4 года назад

Excellent stuff, thanks for sharing.

@skatingmom4 11 дней назад

This was so helpful. Thank you.

@bellajoseph1867 4 года назад

Wow, thank you for sharing so much knowledge!

@tmrb7600 22 дня назад

Great video! Thank you for sharing the knowledge

@lsestrada Год назад

You’re awesome, Dr. Ali. Thanks for sharing.

@wholelottamukbang3187 4 года назад

im in school for psychology. really love ur videos/ please never get discouraged and stop because you are helping people out here alot.

@mabelomoregie1146 3 года назад

Thanks for your teaching

@Celestialmenace Год назад

Thank you! This was extremely helpful

@akashmaity_22 Год назад

I learned, thank you

@living4thekingdom170 Месяц назад

Wonderful advice!!

@rupmatt Месяц назад

Classic motivational interviewing! Love the way you presented it!

@ZacharyLee 2 года назад

Super helpful and insightful!

@Yasaaara 11 месяцев назад

love this so great

@bosspoisetv3269 Год назад

Thank you!

@socomartinez3381 2 года назад

Thank you Dr. I appreciate your advice.

@brittanycamille6460 24 дня назад

Wow I’m so glad I found this content. I appreciate your insight! ❤Thank you!! 😊

@waiifii22 15 дней назад

Okay, definitely need to watch this video! Thank you!

@circularpizzabox2134 3 года назад

Absolutely incredible information, spoken slowly, while keeping a great tempo to keep my brain stimulated with wanting to hear more. As a student in Psychology finding this was exactly what I was looking for on YT. Thank you!

@julianicole3581 2 года назад

This video was so helpful! Thank you

@the.punkmonk 3 года назад

I just stumbled across your videos and they're GREAT! So helpful, engaging, detailed and thoughtfully made. As a coach (who helps camera-shy people find the courage to get on screen, actually!) I've been told I'm an empathetic, non-judgmental listener and I'm always looking to get better and more intentional with my skills. But the skills you describe are also so valuable in personal relationships. Thanks for putting yourself out there, Ali!

@Ruby_V_ 4 года назад

I _love_ how you relate the example statements/questions with their functions. At least 10 times through this video I had excited thought--"that way of communicating that is so perfect!" and naturally I have to write them all down and try practicing them now.

@gracekihu3761 4 года назад

Trying the same. Its difficult to write while he is talking, I wish there was a script. This is so helpful. I am doing counselling and psychotherapy and I am finding this video so helpful. I want to capture each and every word..incredible.

@selflove96 2 года назад

Thanks for sharing

@ZacharyLee 2 года назад

Super insightful and very helpful.

@bryanoldenburg9870 2 года назад

Thank you for your valuable advice, delivered in a friendly fashion!

@ndchieh 16 дней назад

Brilliant.

@essennagerry Год назад

I've come to do most of these naturally - I do also do the other things such as interripting, giving advice, leading the conversation on the basis of a misunderstanding because I didn't reflect back, or spiraling into talking about myself. But - I do most of the things you said here! And it makes me very happy because I value these things a lot. I especially like asking extra questions, reflecting back and validating. I looove to tell people what exactly I find so understandable and what exactly I find is perfectly ok, even good, even important and healthy. And tell them what I find not ok but why I think it's understandable they did it. I do also like giving advice but in the form of questions. "Do you think doing ____ would help?" "Why not?" I can say a lot more on the contents of the video but I'll stop here! This is the first video of you I watch and I have a feeling this chanel will be a gem. Also, I'm only since recently open to doing therapy. And to understand what therapists are even doing will be a huge help for me! I'm not the type of person who does well just trusting the process and following the guidelines. Because I don't understand it correctly. I see many possible options where others see one or two. So I have to understand things in more depth than regular people seem to need in order to be decently functional. Two birds with one stone: I'll be able to be more helpful to my friends AND prepare for therapy!

@gardencali-arkansasstyle6995 24 дня назад

Thank you Doctor. This is good ~clear~ instructions.

@grahamwalker2168 4 года назад

This is a great refresher for me and a brilliant introduction. Really hope things are going well for you back in California and that you are all set up for next year.

@olakolade6656 2 года назад

I want to be a clinical psychologist in the future and you inspire me so much :)

@tammybradshaw7175 2 года назад

Awesome! Thank you so much! I REALLY needed this video to help me be a better listener! I like how you broke down each skill.🙏❤

@user-eh1me5hf4c 25 дней назад

thank you

@LaurenBradburyFarm Месяц назад

I recognize this approach as a great method for self inquiry. It could push me past the pat self-recrimination into layers that could lead to self-understanding and untangling root causes. Great stuff

@nickbradford482 2 года назад

I love your channel. Thank you for sharing.

@anitavandenbossche2188 Год назад

Love it!

@rodeyrode 26 дней назад

Thank you, thank you!! I work in community health and this is super helpful and applicable. Subscribed!

@bradvincent2586 Год назад

Thank you 😭

@alizenvan_6361 2 года назад

thank you so much! it really helped me with psychology

@thehylers1021 16 дней назад

I need to ask myself these questions. Thank you❤

@RainbowNoodles12 2 года назад

thank you for sharing your knowledge :)

@lianaadrong4341 10 месяцев назад

Thank you. I need to practice my listening skill.

@handofmidases 2 года назад

thank you so much

@dhruvivora9763 4 года назад

This is a deep video. I have been on and off using these skills related to counseling and it allows for real and deep conversations with peers. The difficulty I face is when people start with their advices (like try out these things...) and it confuses me about how to respond then. I've adopted being assertive and it turns out to be helpful and an easy fix, but doesn't guarantee with the same amount of rapport with people in the long term. What could be another option to break from hearing advices. Thank you so much for all the content you've shared till now Dr. Ali. It adds on to the textbook knowledge and broadens my understanding.

@nicb4296 4 года назад

Merry Christmas everyone, have a wonderful day :) Thank you for all the work you have done this year Dr. Ali Mattu.

@catherinem4130 29 дней назад

Wow, thank you for sharing these wonderful tips. Just listening to you explain these skills plus my writing them all down....I'm sure will help me the next time I find myself listening to someone and wondering how to help!

@joelmasantos879 3 года назад

🙏🙏🙏thank you so much! My tutor never told me this in such an effective way.

@janice7972 2 года назад

Thank you for shating your expertise - I felt a bit tired but forceed myself to listen because you are so engaging. I am inspired. Thanks again.

@tiaretolks5666 10 месяцев назад

loved this beautiful vid. so glad to have found you :)

@patreshezz2229 2 года назад

Thank you Dr. you’ve helped me so much before a role play session for counselling.

@TheBrownFaceBE Год назад

Almost three years later and this video was still very relevant and helpful!! Thank you!

@veezbeez4015 Год назад

Thank you so much for this! I am really getting into psychology and this rlly helps me be able to help my friends and family.

@natashavernon9828 3 года назад

Amazing video!

@chukwuemekaukpabi9522 4 года назад

Thank you for your outstanding videos!!! I look forward to listening to more in 2020. In the meantime, I will attempt to finish watching the rest of your videos on your channel.