How to Make the Most of Your 20s (according to a therapist) 

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Being 26 now I realized I lost a lot of my early 20s to depression, addiction, and bad relationships. I didn’t higher my education and feel stuck in a dead end job but I’m starting the progress to change that, thanks for the video, I enjoy it and it gave me a little more motivation to do better and move towards the man I want to be when I hit 30

my biggest regret is putting so much pressure on myself in my 20s to 'do things right.' it led to so much needless worrying and anxiety and depression

Key point : 1. Every action got consequences 2. Best time for our brain to learn. Use it. 3. Dont know whats your passion? Use 2 ways : a. Identity capital, take jobs / experiences related to your preferred field. B. Starbuck phase. Just do whatever jobs out there. It is better to start option a asap. 4. Dont underestimate weak ties. Friends of the friends @ long lost friend. It might help! 5. Be realistic. My fav point. ((Ppl tend to choose better when theres limited option - the paradox of choice)) 6. Your goals should be something that you want to pursue, not because other factors (family pressure, prestige work etc). Be honest, & my own tips : journalling, reflecting & talking to ppl / google helps! 7. Biggest decision = marrying someone. My own pov = dating a badboy might sounds fun & hella interesting but makesure he/she is someone that you can relay to, got similar life goals. 8. Love & respect yourself first 9. Theres always grey section in our life. So, these kinds of life guidelines can be helpful

As a 32 year old, I do NOT miss my 20s. What a pressure-filled decade to meet so many mile stones. Back then I couldn't slow down to think about being kind to my soul. So grateful for therapy now (better late than never).

I am almost 23 and I lost all interest in the things I used to enjoy as a teen because now I think that everything I do has to be productive and somewhat intentional and I am SOOOO tired of that. It holds me back like crazy. The point is that no one knows when it is over so I try to not overthink it too much.

Serious depression really ate away my early 20s. Now I feel I'm on the mend so hopefully this newfound energy can help me turn this franchise around. Very nice video.

How to make the most of your 20s: Step 1: *don’t be 20 during a pandemic that stops you from doing literally everything*

The first few years of my 20s were the best years of my life. Now that I'm 26, I'm just trying not to die.

just turned 20. didn't realise how i got from 17teen to 20 :( especially in quarantine

Seeing this video in my 30s 🤡 Good luck to y’all younglings

In my 20s I went to undergrad and grad school, internship, volunteer, lived abroad (2 countries), multiple odd jobs and small business, improving English as my second and learning Mandarin as my 3rd, learning how to cook, learning to swim and thread in deep end water, learning to trade in financial market, and taking a good care of my health...what I don't have yet : stable career, mortgage and romantic relationship 😂

I read 12 Rules of Life : An antidote to chaos by Jordan B. Peterson and Dr. Meg Jay's book during the pandemic when I was stuck in Wuhan. I had a mental breakdown from constantly comparing my life to people who were free across the world to pursue their dreams. My life had suddenly come to grinding halt and thought I would not finish medical school with the amount of stress I was experiencing. It was a life-changing experience. I got myself together and finished medical school, made good use of my weak ties for references, worked on a scholarship I had dreamed of getting , won it (The Rhodes Scholarship)and now I will be attending Oxford next fall. It's so phenomenal realizing how much we can achieve when we capitalize on life's unexpected sufferings and adopt meaning from life through taking responsibility for ourselves. I recommend both books!

When it comes to friends who have other interests, yes I agree, but it's important to remember that these friends also need to be able to listen about your interests. In my case, it ended up that I always had friends who had different interests than me and they always wanted and shared their interests with me, but they completely didn't care what I was interested in. Years later, I know that it's important to have at least one person with whom you can share that you saw a cool movie, that you have an interesting passion, etc. The fact that you don't have anyone with whom you can share such information is also bad for your mental health in the long run.

I lost my teens due to chronic illness. Spent most of my time going in and out of the hospital. I’m currently 21 and had to dropped out college about three times. I’m getting better like really good actually. For the first time in years I feel alive. But sometimes I can’t help to compare myself to others. I know that isn’t fair to myself but I can’t help it.

I messed up my early 20s by dating multiple people. I dedicated so much time for my previous partners that I didn’t even focus on myself. Now at 25, and single for a year, I realized how much time I wasted and I feel way behind and a failure in life. I am just glad I am aware now of my failures. I hope people watch this video because it’s all true based on my experience.

Watching this in my last year of my 20s…but hey better late than never. Good points in the video and I’m glad you made people feel less alone about being single through your early and mid- 20s. It’s very common and I wish people wouldn’t beat themselves up about it. I didn’t date until I was 25 and it made me feel so insecure, but it was such a waste of time being insecure about it.

It’s not how you start, it’s how you finish. But, how you start has an immense impact on how you finish so it’s key to nail down how you’re spending your time in your 20s to lay the foundation for the rest of your life. Great video!

I mostly travelled and stuff in my 20s. It was good. I'm 29 now and wish to develop some kind of financial security next and live a quieter life. Sometimes I wish I'd begun to build a career earlier but then I'd not have had the adventures and I never regret those. It's tough because if you follow your dreams rather than society's plan it is easy to develop fomo and feel that you're not living up to your potential but if you play it safe and start earning and investing you probably wonder what it would've been like to follow your intuition. Basically life is hard no matter what strategies you try to apply to it. If I do have regrets, one is watching too many videos like this that try to tell me how to live based on someone else's neuroses. To whomever is reading this: you are wonderful and however you choose to live your life is up to you. You don't need to justify yourself to anyone. Keep your eyes open, stay positive and love each other. The rest is unimportant.

I'm now 28 and wow, even though there's a little under two years left to go I feel like what you discussed was accurate. It's also not a coincidence that mental health problems can really kick into gear in your mid-twenties.

Hey there Sam. I'm in my late 40s now, but my 20s literally just seem like yesterday. I remember all the ups and downs probably better than I remember last year TBH lol. This is a really well thought out and balanced vid. So much so that I just shared it with my teen in the hope that she will think about some of these things now, perhaps, in preparation. It is true to a large degree that the things we do in our 20s and 30s will shape our life to some extent. But in my experience, also it is important to be mindful of "traps". These, for want of a better word, are the ruts that we can fall into. I'll be honest - when the career takes off , and the partner finally comes into the mix to the extent that you both become like two trees growing intertwined, the plot begins to thicken. Add to this a house, a mortgage and beautiful wonderful life changing little children (who rapidly become bigger self automated and incredible young adults!) and suddenly it can get overwhelming. Those things I mentioned are not the traps by the way. The traps are the coping habits that we form because of the stresses of life. These habits, especially if not identified early, can undermine so much of the potential to enjoy all the splendors that come our way. I don't say this to put clouds over a sunny day. My point is that each of us as a person will at some point face decisions, later in life about how we choose to respond to situations that seem unavoidable. Yes - our 20s and the decisions we make then are important, but as we grow, it's also so important to understand that the way we learn to cope and react to "life" is just as important, and can be just as transformational. You seem a very mature young man for you age. If you had the time and inclination to read this, I'm very grateful and I hope it gets you thinking more about "outlook on life" and it's potential effects. Might even be a vid in there ;)

28 now but a myriad of sometimes crippling depression, anxiety, and being officially diagnosed with adhd at 25 made me feel like I wasted a lot of my 20s because I was mentally absent for a lot of it, especially ages 24-27. I’m trying to mend this now because I’m waking up to how absent I’ve been and want to make changes, but to say I’m no longer struggling would be a big fat lie.

Nothing could ruin your 30s more than childhood trauma and related stuff. So enjoy your 20s.

i love how our generation is self aware

As a lady in her early twenties & just graduated, this is incredibly encouraging to hear! I’m going through a lot of change (relationships, career, living situation) and this really helped me re-center myself onto what I want for the next few years, which was weirdly comforting. It’s an overwhelming time of my life, so I appreciate hearing this wisdom!

Introspection is what save me. I know who I am at the end of the day and can enjoy the moment as I slowly try to live up to that identity. I am simply a janitor at the moment because there is no field I have ever had passion in. No degree stood out to me. Didn't go to college. I am 21 and just working towards a small goal of becoming a supervisor. Now all these creative call outs are calling to me. I can see what I genuinely want to do. Create some type of art. Produce something to enduce feelings, make people happy. Now my depression faded because that's all that matters to me. I can void all my anxiety, worries about being behind in life because I just gotta start working to complete my own goals. I've learned to love myself as well, working a bottom barrel job in solitude. I've been through religous trauma, picked with and suffered through social isolation and it's fading away. I've never had a relationship either and now after embracing myself I can see myself finding someone that's actually fit for my dreams. I'm open, just need to make friends, do some artistic endeavors, my lifes set :')

I’m a 16 year old sophomore in high school and I came across this video. I didn’t do good in school during freshman year because of covid and I was suicidal and now I’m turning my life around and trying to fix my mistakes and better my life. My grades are improving even tho I feel like I’m behind :)

I'm 25, I'm so afraid of not learning. I wasted a lot of time due to depression, anxiety, overthinking and addiction. I haven't really learned any skills. Jeez! I'm so scared.

I'm 22 turning 23 in a few months. Need to watch this whole vid

I’m 21. That bit about how if you’ve never dated someone you might feel undesirable hit hard. I realized this a bit two years ago and ever since then I’ve been trying to learn how to love myself. I think I’ve made a LOT of improvement in that area and since then my dating life has been slightly better. But I’m still not all the way there. Anyway thank you for the video. I am going to take a lot of this advice into account for my 20s. The love thing is something I kinda agonize over when I’m home alone late at night but a lot of the career stuff is stuff I’d never thought about so it is good to hear!

I am using my 20s to enjoy my childhood! I had to grow up fast so it’s never too late to spoil love myself. Also at the same time building my future the life I create :)

24, but still feel 23. Matter of fact, I still feel 21 😅 Age is just a number. It’s all energy. “Youth” is a state of mind. Tap in. A huge blessing to simply be a live.

I’m in my mid 30s (retired early with kids) and made the best of my 20s, with plenty of mistakes along they way. Please don’t waste your 20s! It’s the best foundation years of your life. Totally right on the compounding Sam - investing 10 years early can mean 2x the nest egg at 65!

As a person in his early 20s(specifically 22) I have digest alot of self-help books, learning 2 languages(Spanish and Tagalog), been going out and talking to strangers, learning how to apply for a job, negotiate for families, learn how to cook and hit the gym (I kinda sound pretty cocky haha) Though i do have challenges, like when I was 18 I did had an identity crisis which a friend from Chile helped me alot. Having to get a Facebook community, friends and family how to get over my "self-doubt" to get a job, and even ask workers/managers how to get over fear and Struggling with getting a ride. Even though what I say is a pretty depressing, atleast I can manage to get over theses obstacles and find solutions

This is so true. I thought I'm the only one who feels this way. So happy to know that there are many others who feel insecure and depressed in their 20s. As for me, i feels like day by day passes without me accomplishing anything. Im just afraid that i just wasted my youth also i havent found my life partner yet, my income also not stable and feeling depressed whenever seeing my peers gotten married and have kid. But seeing all the comments giving me reliefs that we are all struggling in our life especially in the 20s. So i hope we can all survive this life and just do whatever life can offers us. Cheers

This is so insightful for some who turned 20 this year! Really appreciate this one!!😊

The Defining Decade is the best ever!! I make an effort to read it every year around my birthday. Halfway through my 20s and hopefully doing it right

I totally agree with knowing what's your intention when getting into a relationship or looking for a job. It really helps you set a point in mind that would help you remind yourself why did you enter this kind of relationship or why did you took this kind of job. When I first have my first job as a Customer Service Representative, I don't really have a clear intention on why did I grabbed that opportunity, while I can just work based on my degree or using my talent, but as I grew older and as I get work experience I got to that point that I've been asking myself that question "what's my intention?". So yeah its kinda helpful but ofcourse there's still some aspects that that question won't be able to answer.

I don’t know how I came across this but I needed to hear it. The way you express yourself is also on point, you made everything sound exactly as it is.

love the point you made about realistic goals. I feel like some people may take that sentiment the wrong way and feel offended, but it's true. i initially pursued finance but i realized i never cared to learn in any of my finance classes and math isn't really one of my strong suits. although finance positions make great money, i will most likely not pursue any finance roles.

Bullshitting in my 20s was a good time. I actually miss it.

As a 17 year old, thank you. This was very eye opening. I've been feeling pressure to figure out what I'm passionate about since I started high school. I'm going to be proactive about job shadowing and internships now. I feel like I should read that book now because I feel like it'll stick more if I do.

Aaayyyy what a milestone to have your first sponsored video! Great discussion of the book, Sam. I especially like the reminder of keeping weak ties in mind and always be learning. I want to reread it now!

For someone who's going to be soon 21 in the next 4 months, after 3years of gap after school to focus on my mental health, it sometimes feels nerve wracking to restart at 21, where most of them graduate by that time, and at least knew what they want or how they life's gonna look like, makes me wonder what this life is really gonna look like for me in my mid and late 20s & 30s puts me in a bunch of rollercoaster emotions!!

You are so informed, logical and also emotional smart I am very grateful for this video! Thank you

I'm 22 and so far my most amazing experience has been volunteering, i lived two months in a foreign country and met amazing people from all over the country, volunteering is so so meaningful and i wish i could experience that again but because of covid and my graduation from uni, i will be entering the workforce and i don't think i can do this anymore...maybe one day, i hope. I will focus more on my mental and physical health, as well as traveling more and more 😍

Turning 19 this year, and I am so glad there are people like you and I’ve also met some great proffessors as well. Great video! New sub🤞🏽😊

This is literally the best video I have seen so far from you Sam! I love the fact that you present your information well and do a lot of research! I agree with you that your 20s are really the "second adolescence" and that they are made for discovery, trial and error and also surprises! Sometimes it can be difficult to keep positive during our twenties because we begin taking on more responsibility for our choices, but that doesn't have to bring us down. Instead we should, as you say, be looking for new connections, taking the time to get to know potential partners well and understanding more about who we are and who we vibe with the most. Another thing is that we fear taking the plunge into a new field even if everyone you know has always identified you with a certain subject! Life isn't about labels but about being enriched by as many experiences as you can! :)

dude, your videos are getting better & better. keep it up!

I actually enjoyed this. I'm currently in my 20s, and I could relate being different because I'm pursuing my goals AND not pursuing relationships, and indulging in hook-up culture. Your explanations were really concise and I learned a lot.

I am in my mid 20s and I recently quit my job because I was not happy at where I was and what I was doing. I knew deep down this is not I am supposed to do. I got my family very angry for quitting and my mom reminds me once in a while that I should not have done it. I literally have very few people who support me. Now I am sleeping better, taking care of my body better, building new habits, working on my mental state, learning new things and following a path to achieve a dream. Lot of uncertainties, financial crisis, low points and high points, productive days, Days I don't want to get up. Sometimes I will just cry on my own and let it go. Creating things from scratch, relearning a lot of things that I even learned in school. The list never ends. But for some reason, I feel like I am learning more than I ever have in my life. I don't know where this is going. All I know is I am not stopping anywhere soon.

As someone who graduated last year, this video is so helpful! Also you’re doing so well with views/subscribers after only having your channel for a couple of years ☺️

Thanks for your wholesome video! I'm in my early 20s, I feel indeed lost and vague, thanks to you I can get some guides to clarify my mind. Keep up your good workkk

Perfect video to watch before I turn 19 next week 🎂 thank you so much Sam, gotta subscribe for rest of 20s and 30s 💙

I didn't know what to do in my 20s, so I outsourced that to Uncle Sam, spent the first 5 years of my 20s in the navy, working really hard and traveling around the world. Worth every single minutes.

I'm in my late 20s and I think I'm going through a huge identity crisis in two aspects I thought I had under control. First my relationship: I've been with my boyfriend for 8 years and now I feel I don't love him anymore, I don't know why. I've already told him, and it looks like we're going to break up. Which I'm so afraid of, because as an introvert it's difficult for me to meet new people. Then my career: earlier this year I reached a peak. I passed a public examination to become a secondary school teacher, which is what I wanted to be since I was a teen, but now I feel I have nothing else to do with my life. The fact that maybe I'll be doing the same exact thing all my life makes me feel so empty and scared. I guess I'm more ambitious than I thought, that's why I passed those exams so early in life (most people I know don't pass them until they're in their 30s or 40s). Anyway, I think I'm going through the quarter life crisis. And I'm telling you because I feel so lost for the first time in my life. Before, I always knew what I wanted, and the hard part was getting it. But now I don't know what I want so I can't do anything to get it. I'm seeing a therapist, but for some reason sharing my problems with strangers is so helpful, that's why I wrote that. And I'm not a native English speaker, so sorry about my grammar.

I just fell on your channel and I like the way you guided us through the video. Just followed!

I'm really glad I subscribed and stayed, legit your videos helps me a lot with introspection. I'll definitely give that book a read. Thank you! Hope everyone reaches to the life they always wanted.

Awesome video Sam! For some reason I missed this in my sub box, but I’m glad it got recommended, cause this was a treasure trove of knowledge for someone who’s about to finish school! 🙏

i loved it! this was really great to hear! looking forward to watch more

The only thing I would comment on is the idea of "Why would someone else love you if you don't love yourself?" - It's kind of toxic because other people can see things in you that you yourself dont see and might be attracted to that. The issue is however if you don't love yourself then you will very likely use rely on your partner for validation which can be very tiring for them and does not result in a healthy relationship dynamic.

To someone who is in their early 20’s trying to figure out a life path- this has been super helpful compared to other videos i’ve watched! thank you✨

I'm 21 and I'm on a software dev grad scheme at an amazing company but I've been feeling a bit lost lately. This video was super helpful and inspiring to me, I'm definitely gonna read The Defining Decade. Thank you Sam!

Stumbled upon this video by accident and didn't expect it to be this insightful! Thanks for the video

Thank you for this Sam!

Great video! I’m in my 20s so this is so helpful, the book she wrote “The defining decade” is a interesting read, highly recommend!

This video was great! You did a good job putting it all together. Appreciate the content!

Wow, thanks for posting this kind of video!

Hey Sam, first time viewer here. Instant sub. Love your conversational, raw, genuine approach to life. Thanks for the breath of fresh air. Cheers mate.

I am definitely going to read the book, thank you a lot for the summarie and the video :)

This is such amazing content. Thank you!

Keep going. As a graduate i feel like I don't know where i go. And now decided to read more about that type of books hopefully with my interaction with the real world, i could find my passion.

This is a really helpful video, thank you 💪🏾

Good content. I am now hooked on your videos. Keep it up!

I am about to hit 30 so I've stumbled on this a bit late, but now I know I could have not made some serious mistakes had I just had someone alert me to it seriously early on. Kudos to all those in their 20s looking into how to live better already!

Glad I found your channel. Thanks, Sam!

Thank you very much for sharing! I’ve learned a lot from this video Definitely will find this book to read and will also try shortform : )

Wow I guess this video ment to find me . I'm 21 just started my postgraduate , I used to be bit outgoing and fun but dunno it's a blessing or something this whole lockdown situation helped me to fine my introverted side now I'm kinda new person , but I do have problem with future and Everything , specially about job or career . I will try to follow your advice and grow up slowly 🌼 Thank you so much Sam 💜

Kuya Saaaaam! I wished I had these foresight during my early 20's so I am sure many are learning from these now and you are saving them from making tons of mistake. I totally agree that we should spend our 20s to maximize learning potential and I guess to get to know yourself more. +20 points on making sure you love and value yourself 1st before you go and looking for others to love you because there will always be times that you will be alone and if you dont love yourself ...gg!! Thanks for your shortform code I created an account and reading a book now!! I am glad you got a sponsor -- more sponsors!!! Cheers.

If there emotional maturity is less than your emotional maturity then they are not a good fit for you - golden advice I've picked from this video ❤️

I'm still struggling with suicide tbh. I can barely keep up with everything and I have a lot of trauma with my autism that makes me scared to even try a lot of the time. I have a hard time identifying my emotions as well, both from people gaslighting me and my own autistic nature, and im.scared to even think a lot of the time thanks to my anxiety around cancel culture, so I can't really sit down and get a grindset on to follow my dreams and financial success. I wish I could go back to being a kid again so I could just work as early as i could and save up money to invest, also get into computers and artsy stuff as much as possible. During summer I'd be so free to get into all that and instead of being afraid and stupid as a kid to ask for a computer I would ask for it. Between saving up and learning to invest and developing my skills I feel like I could legitimately have a chance and I'm mad at my parents for not investigating this stuff sooner.

I read this book at the beginning of this year ! Great read. It definitely helped me streamline my goals.

This is sooooo helpful thanks mate💛

Such a great video!! Thx for sharing :D

I'm not 20 yet I'm really far from that age, but I'm always worried about what happens to me in the future, thank you for this video it makes me feel at ease

I’m not 20 yet but I’m turning 18 in a few months. Transitioning into that “adult stage” It’s interesting to hear what older people have gone through. And how I can learn through their experiences. Thanks for sharing this video.

You're spot on about the point about loving yourself, loneliness can be crippling but it's the only time you can think hard about how you want to grow as a person

So underrated! Luv u man. I'm fifteen right now but your videos are so inspirational. Keep it up.:)

So I had spent my younger part of my life chasing after me cos I was so frightened by the fact that I don’t know who I am. I don’t regret anything, whether whatever happened caused me depression & relationship scarring or set backs.Just let the pursuit continue. Don’t fault yourself if you’ve ever not always been on the path to “success” cos it’s still priceless experience. Internal resource that will get you where you wanna be! 26 now & honestly immensely thankful to my younger self. Suffered a severe disillusionment from a breakup & went thru 2 jobless years to get to where I am but I made it to the career path of my choice, my mind is extremely clear on what I want now, actively building that bank & I now deeply know my worth as a woman/ life partner potential! Keep pressing in peeps

Thanks, bro I was very confused in life after the pandemic now u have given some really good insights.

Thanks for the video, I think I needed to hear this stuff today because I had the exact thought of "Am I unloveable?" (21, never dated anyone). It's interesting you point out the failure of couples who cohabit before marriage is down to the *cirumstances* of the relationship that cause cohabitation, not the cohabitation itself. Also, videos like this give me comfort because I'm not someone who's into drinking, partying or taking drugs and my idea of fun is going to an amateur theatre group or going to museums with friends. I need things that give me joy and stimulate my brain. I'm glad to have found friends who feel the same way and I finally have somewhere to fit in. I tried the "Starbucks phase" when I was 19/20, before I even got to college, and while in some ways it was awful and I couldn't hold down any menial job for more than 3 months, it gave me time to decide what to do. And all my relationships are important - I don't write people off because I know someone seemingly unimportant could be a great help one day.

I value your content, glad I found your channel :)

This was really helpful, thank you 😊

Yeah I'm learning this hard lesson now. I was told in my twenties "don't worry, take your time", and now I've made some choices in my twenties that will live with me for the rest of my life. I also spent my twenties recovering from a traumatic childhood so now I'm spending my 30s for covering for my twenties.

Thank you, Sam, for making this video. I’m in my 20s and been trying to figure out things in my life. I overthink a lot about myself, my purpose, love, work and studies. Your video made me think to start something new and stop things I need to stop now. I’ll recommend this vid to my friends or anyone in their 20s having the same thoughts as mine😍😎🍕 More power to you, Sam! Btw, new subscriber here 🇵🇭😍

Great video. Thank you for the wisdom and insight.

Very instructive and insightful!

our brains keep growing. and we keep learning.

thank you i needed this

I'm a 17 year old student watching this. I still have no clue about the career I want to pursue. Thanks for sharing this video 😊