How to Make Your Ex Love You Again - Clay Andrews 

Thanks for checking out this video. Also check out our playlist on Advanced Relational Skills over here: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-VgDP6E-0ew4.html

I am not kidding. I have watched so many videos in these two months, what you talked about in this video is really the deepest level. And I totally agree with what you proposed. What others mentioned stay on the surface level. If you know you can rebuild the emotional connection with your ex by just being who you really are, maybe you lost it because you were not yourself due to depression etc and your ex characterized who you were during separation, you should work on yourself and the possibility of getting back together is so much bigger. Thank you Clay.

Thank you so much! Your perspective makes so much sense!

I simply love your work!!! You're awesome!💗💞

Thank you! It makes a lot of sense.

Ooh! Nice and loud, Clay! I can hear you finally 😄

Hey clay great stuff. But how do yu build an emotional connection with my ex if iam blocked and she isnt spraking to me. And we work for the same company. Thanks for any feedback.

My ex and I are best friends,we have great chemistry...we see each other every day in college.. He tells me am all he has and he insists on being friends...I told him I want us to be together and work things out but he wants to stay friends and build into a relationship,he doesn't want us to make the same mistakes we did to begin with.... But am scared I will loss him to someone else..

Hi Clay thanks for your compilation videos .. you talk about working on an emotional level , i agree but my ex is spanish speaking with limited english and swedish skills. we live in sweden , I am a brit with limited spanish skills , i understand more than i can speak.. but it is difficult to relate in spanish on the emotional level.. history we have 8 years together and two children 6 years and 2 years old .. ex wants to limit meeting in person unless with in relation to offspring, but we are at the same time booking a months holiday in jul august ,, plus she wrote that she is in a rebound the same day... i took that info with a pinch of salt, so i am wondering what is realy going on in my exes head and with these tools we have today able to embrace the emotional stance between us??? through recent unfamiliar terminlogy she has not used before i also feel that she is receiving advice from parties who may have motives other than how to adress and reunite so to speak. thank you for tips links best Al

Hey Clay, am already been in your channel like last 3-4 weeks and your videos are great and gives solid background compare to other therapists or youtubers, my situation with my ex is different and i don't really know how to act with it, we been together for 2 years and we loved each other without any benefit however we both are stubborn person and have quite couple of break ups, after last one which happened 6 months ago, we stopped talking, i reached out to her after 4 months, she has depression and we decided to take things slow and cure each other and be together at the end , but things got totally messed after it, after talking for a month , i learnt that she has new boyfriend, however as i said we talked getting together and sc etc, i got very mad , didn't swear her or her new guy but cutted connection.then she still contacts me and check up on me through social media , it is like someday she say firget about me totally next day she write by her own, how should i behave with all of these Note: last 2 month am trying to change life in a good way and invest to self

Ok clay I'm going to work on this part. I hope this work because so far we have been talking, but she has been talking to me like as if we didn't spend 4 years together and it's mad weird. We also live together and sleep in the same bed. I'm not allowed to touch her or anything. I tried to flirt and that doesn't even work. So I am going to try harder on reaching out to her on the emotional level. She is a headstrong woman so I hope I can get through her. BTW you should do some live shows and maybe answer people's questions. I could use some advice at times as I'm sure lots of other people do too. Thank you for your advices even tho I'm not sure if I'm getting through to my ex at times, your videos has made me focus a bit more.

What is the music that is being played at the end of this video?

how exactly do I implement this?? she has me blocked and is in a rebound relationship. I know she will read my texts at some point even tho I'm blocked. should I break no contact or wait a month to try this strategy?

Hey clay, thanks for all your great advice! In your opinion is it possible to continue building up trust and a deeper emotional connection if say my ex is moving 2,500 miles away for 3-6 months? Let me know if a brief summary on the details of our relationship and break up would help you answer that question better. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated!

Hi coach Clay am from Indian my gf broken up it’s been 3 months around, I followed No contact till 40 days and I went with first text to her she talked on over 2-3 text and later she started ignoring my text ... then once agin I given 10-15 days space and again I reach out to her, but she not respond my text .... and finally I seen yesterday when I apologised her my mistake then I saw she blocked me on fb ... what to do now ? Coach Adrienne please help me out Please

Hey coach My ex gf broken up 3 months go ... and I between no contact I realised that I lacked confidence how I talked to her, my body language was weak, unsecure nervous stressed needy or feminine l. I was not having emotional masculinity to be leader of the our relationship. And I understood I was turning her off during the relationship and turning her off since the breakup too... so please guide me. How could I now fix my relationship and how could I show that I have change... please help me out Coach she don’t wanna to talk me ever I think she is stubborn on me... please help me please

I would like to get her back at some point, but in our last messages to eachother (about 3 weeks ago now), she said she needs to focus on herself and get herself back together before she can think about the potential of a relationship again. She has some medical and mental conditions, and also cares for her mother full time. Breaking up with me was one of the things she "needed to do" to reduce her stress and help with her conditions... even though the relationship was almost 100% stress free.

Me and my ex started talking again, but couldn’t help it being clingy everyday she even told me she misses her which is her first baby’s father which made me act like that. Any ways another ex sent screenshots of me trying to hook up with her 2 years ago, so she cut me off completely and just told me to move on this for sure. Was wondering if I still got a chance.

How do I do that when they are 120 km aways and blocked from all social media?

You're great Clay, really love your videoes! :)

It’s been just over a month, 2 weeks in she was in pain but after that she’s becomes ‘happier’. Saw her couple of days ago and said she’s completely cutting it off and that we just grew apart. I was too controlling I understand that now but we were so close. It was the last month of the relationship where she started to fall out of love. She said she grew more than me and that was a problem, she’s very focused on her future and she’s busy all the time. I don’t know if this means it’s over for good or not or if I need to grow and develop and healthy mindset like I had at the beginning. Was a 3 year relationship

How an emotional conversation look like? Can u give examples?

Hi Clay, I made a BIG mistake by showing over anxious and too hyper, Here was the story, after she ignored me and took a business trip to avoided me. I called her up and she admitted "we cant be together because her parents think we dont fit"....huh? i've havent' even meet them. We dated about 2 months. She was raised from a traditional family with extreme rules which turned her to have a low very self esteem in relationship. She’s like a puppet to her parents. Ok, i said, respected your decision. But i screwed the NC rules and took my chance , emailed her daily, not to beg, but made up something like radio station, talks about humor, education, and interesting real stories. She did read and listens to them, more than onces, (I have a tracking app that can see if the person opens the mail and how long they reads them ) Anyway, from the last email, I put the "last show" with all the heart melting materials and a touchable song, claim I will stopped the show for health reasons. She called me and cried like a baby that night, said wants to see me in the morning. I was really hyper and over anxious, even showed a little desperation while messaging each other before went to bed. GUESS WHAT? she messages me the next morning and said her boss asked her to do something very important and won't see me today.... what am i'm thinking ...i said its ok, take care, then sent out a few stupid desperation messages again, last 2 messages were from her, "i just want to check and worried about your health, I want give you a few more hugs too. I applied the NC for a few days now…from now on, I have to think cautiously straight. I have to show a lot of confidence do what I suppose to do, change myself, improve myself and let her see my change, I’ll email her again in a few weeks to let she hears my changed …As since as she doesn’t block me, I think I still have the chance….what is your advice?.

I wanted to order that exact French press in a smaller size. Bummer it’s only available in 32 oz! Haha!

I'm skeptical. I read two books written by Clay. The book on getting your ex back and the book on self esteem. In each case, Clay seems to write his intro on who he is based on the book's content. If the book was about getting your ex back than Clay was a person whom had to fight to get his ex back. If the book was about self esteem Clay was a person with low self esteem & how he overcame it. So I ask myself who is the real Clay or is he both? I think I have been mislead by marriage counselors more then I have been by my ex so truth and honesty is utmost important to me.

How do you get them to open up If they are pulling away? And if I ask what he wants to know he thinks I’m being too emotionally needy.

It’s been 2 years since he broke up with me because he didn’t love me anymore and now that we’re seeing eachother almost everyday at university he is down to meet up and talk, but he told me: “if you’re interested in getting back together, just know that I’m not”. It’s weird because whenever we see eachother I can tell he behaves very similarly to when we were dating (he doesn’t touch me/kiss me) and he teases me with the same stuff, he knows how to make me laugh, and I can tell by the looks he gives me that there’s something that still attracts him. Please help me😅

Play I tried to get my ex to love me again, she just broke up with her rebound which I consider it a rebound after only going out for probably about four weeks and this was less than a month and a half after we broke up, she said she doesn’t love me anymore when we broke up originally back in November she said that she hadn’t been feeling it for a while for months, I don’t understand how I can retract her at this point She thinks of me as a friend now and yes we do talk

Hi, my ex and I have split up during covid. We still live together and we are communicating and it is now becoming more deep we have been separated 3 weeks in seperate rooms. He wants to pay of debt and move out so am supporting this idea but I still want us bk together. He also says he is not sure made right choice. Any advice? He's stressed with work and working non stop from home and in office and I'm a nurse and been really stressful. Just want us to move fowards together. Any advice?

Hi clay. So it’s been almost two months since my breakup. we still text each other daily. He even called me when I started to do “no contact” and asked me why I ignored him and we talk for almost a half hour. I also asked him if he still could see us as a couple again he said yes but he’s not ready. he said that he really need to find a permanent job and make new friends. I don’t know if he’s being honest.

I’m a little confused on what an emotional conversation looks like. I did the no contact which worked and made my ex contact me by the 20th day. I acted beyond friendly and spoke about a family get together I was at. He then retracted and didn’t really want to engage in much convo. Maybe I acted too okay ? Too happy ? Which came across fake maybe I’m not sure how to approach him next time should I be more empathetic and ask how his job is going ?? And want to know more about him ?

I get the idea of what you are saying, but how do you get to that? I'm not fully understanding what you mean, when trying to connect with her emotionally. Is there an example, a tip, somthing? I dont wanna stay at a surface level with her.

Hi Clay, my name is Vu and i'm 20 years. I have been watched your video on youtube, and i think you can help me about my relationship with my girlfriend. Me and my girlfriend dated 2 years and 3 months, we had really good relationship together. But on October 20 i broke up with her because we miscommunication and misunderstand each other (she is english speaker and english is my second language so im still studying english) so we got alot of fight about miscommunication . She was begging and pleading, but i was really mad at her so i told her to move on. So after few days i regretted my decision and i want to come back to her. She didn't accept my apologies and gave me cold and hot shoulder (i dont know it make sense).However she say she cant come back to me and she dont want to be in the relationship with me anymore and she want all her stuff back. So i started begging and ask her for another change but she say she can't, and this is not our first breakup. So i gave her 2 days for her so she can calm down. So we texted and we had alot of fun by texting but then i find out she just ignored my texted message and went out with other guys to dinner.I was really upset and got anxiety so asked her that did you seeing someone and she keeps ignoring me. So i decided to login in to her snapchat so i can see who she talking to( i know its really bad move) and i the guy she went out with and i saw them texting really sweet to each other and have alot of heart emoji.so i backed up and told her that "you were right we both need to move on", because at that point i dont really know what to do so i decided to let her go and cut off contact, so that day she told my friends to tell me that " she don't want anything from me anymore " so i decided to keep doing no contact because i think maybe have some space can help me calm down. After 10 days no contact she decided to blocked me on instagram i reached out and send her a message but she didn't answer me. So the next day i decided to ask her cousin about her.Her cousin told me that she didn't tell anyone that she have boyfriend so her cousin doesn't about that he she have boyfriend or not.but she had been went out alot lately. And her cousin told me that she dont want anything from me anymore. so did she really moved on because i broke up with her exactly 3 weeks ago. Can you give me some advice please. Sorry for my bad English, Thank you.

its been three months and he knows i want to get him back but sometimes he acts standoff-ish. almost everytime we talk he mentions other girls but i dont know if he does that to show that he is moving on or whether he is testing me. he sometimes gives signs that make me think he likes me still, but he always says he doesnt have feelings for me anymore, he even said he feels more relieved after breaking up with me. i dont even think i have a chance with him anymore but i still love him very much and am already making progress to better myself. should i keep trying to pursue him?

OK man I have a serious question. I spoke with you before on here through comments. I have been on an off with my x gf two years. I ended it in August, telling her that we need to close our door an not open it again. needless to say she reached out couple times last year. while she already moved on with two guys after me.... the one she is with now just after Christmas she reach out saying Merry Christmas and asking me how to make guacamole..... petty text I know 😂 then just last week she mentioned I had some mail there at her house an if I wanted it.... now being that we been broken up 7 months an never has she mentioned mail an now all the sudden she wants to know if I need this one..... I didn't respond an just last week she got engaged..... while she was with this guy she reached out to me plenty of times.... why would she do this an what's the point? an being that she is engaged what's your input man... needing some advice.

My ex and I started dating again casually we have been physical and we aren’t like officially back together but her one night off without the kids or work she asked me to spend time with her. We ha d a great night I spent the night and everything was good. The next morning she added me on instagram so I added her back and right there on her page was a pic with her and the guy she dated in between our relationships.Caption saying something about he has a heart always and she will choose to do life with him over and over again every time . He was abusive he cheated on her and is now in jail. I’m not sure why she doesn’t know I know. My question is should I ask her about it? Like why didn’t delete that knowing I’ll see it!!! I have a fear that when he gets out she’ll go back with this loser. I don’t know what to make of the situations. Thanks

Hey Clay! I love your videos! Not sure how much a session is with you. I'd love one. Me and my lover share a child together. She is in a relationship with a friend she's known 20 years. I'm a little nervous about this. But for now we are speaking of meeting up so she can she our son and yes we will be intimate. We are lesbians and she says I need to be patient. I have been hurt by her countless time but the love is still there. Our bond is strong. A soul tie. She did abandon me 2 weeks before his birth. That hurt me very badly. I think that keeps us trauma bonded regardless of who she is with. I am unsure if we will ever get back together. I'm lost and wish non of this happened. Maybe I should just let her go. I feel stronger yet my heart still yearns for her. Please help me. Please. I can pay just not sure of the cost.

My ex is constantly telling me we are only friends and he doesn’t love me “in that way” and doesn’t want any girlfriend now - nevertheless I am his go to gal for everything and we are Fantastic together - but EVERYTIME we begin to connect deeper and I can see he is enjoying me and attracted he provokes a fight !! He is fighting the connection - and I don’t know why - we were great together Nd his long term ex came back early into our relationship - he tried again with her - didn’t work - but we are just beautiful together - truly -- but it’s killing me to constantly have to hear him insist that we are only Friends - but he knows I love him and so maybe this is the problem bc he knows and I’ve told him

I want him back so bad 4th day if no contact and it's killing me I lov3 him so much but I don't think he feels the same 😥

Today my ex told me not to give her stress as she’s working. When should I reach out again to get a emotional connection again?

Hi Clay, the true litmus test, is we are not having sex anymore! That's how I know We are just friends! Platonic! Brotherly/sisterly. :( It's horrible.

So we did the no contact for about a month, and we have had contact with eachother via text, on one day I she told me she had a treatment for her knee wich has a tumor in it. So on the day of the treatment I decided to show balls and call her, she picked up immidiatily as she was laying in bed on the phone. She was very very surprised but it was soon clear tha she was happy surprised. We had an amazing talk and I managed to make her laugh and even throw in a little flirt in with she baited and accepted. I had to go so the call wasn't too long, but after the call I wanted to show her a funny video via text to make her laugh, she reacted very cold and distant. She has a treatment every wednesday so I called her up again the next week, she didn't pick up and I texted something like 'hey I tried to call you to ask you something, I'll try again tomorrow'. Inn wich she reacted very cold and distant again but didn't say she doesn't wanna call. So the next day after school she texted me 'Hey I'm home, you can call me' so after dinner I called her and again, We had an amazing time, she sounded like she misses talking to someone like the way she can talk to me and she kept on going and going. I was actually planning on keeping it short, but she had so much to talk about. In this phone call I found out she had been dating a guy she met in school from withing a week after the breakup. I managed to find out she had sex with that guy rather quickly. I reacted very maturally and confident and she was very surprised by that. She alsmost seemed bothered that I was over her or something, becasue I really made it seem like I didn't care that much. She begun about this topic by asking if I already met someone. After she saw that I didn't care that much she said sarcasticly "and this is the moment I realised you are 100% over me" followed by a rather painful laugh. She said several times in this phone call that it really sucks that we didn't work out and she said several times that she sees all the changes I made and said with a sarcastic tone "now we broke up you do all these new things and make these changes". She also said she misses the good things and several times that she really enjoys talking with me but it isnt fair for her new guy, so its probably best to only talk on whatsapp. Later in the conversation I was like "Hey don't be surprised if I call you suddenly in the future, it's just that I put more value into calling now and it's more personal, faster and better than texting" and then she was like "yea sure! no problem". So she's being so controversal... A few days later I send her another something to laugh about and again she was cold and distant. What should I do? keep calling her every week, because I know she's attracted by my new confidence? Or should I wait and let her rebound relationship break first or something? I'm really stuck here. She's also starting to show gifts she gets from the new guy on snapchat but deletes the story rather quickly after she posted it... wich looks weird to me. It looks to me that she is confused and doesn't know what she is doing and therefore making decisions too fast. I can honestly say she is delighted to talk with me on the phone as she really blossoms when we talk. But when I text her, it's like she hates me or something. Please help me! I feel like im on the right path, but I realy wanna stay on the right path. I should also mention, We've had a realtionship for over 4 years and it was long distance. We pulled eachother trough very though times wich made our bond very special.

Examples would have been wonderful instead of left open to interpretation.