The fact that this guy already labeled himself as a “harmless” guy already tells you he has the wrong mindset. On top of that, what is “high quality” women? Everyone has their own definition to that question and you’ll get a lot of mixed answers depending on who you’re asking
As a black woman, it's exhausting being super nice and going beyond giving a harmless front to avoid perpetuating the "angry black woman" stereotype in Asia.
@@dtnahe probably doesn’t know how to man up because he was beat down with a hammer with obedience from his strict Asian parents raising him. He never had any say to anything and couldn’t challenge his parents views or disagree with them. Because he was raised like this he lets all other people walk all over him especially men from different races when they disrespect his racial background. They will think they can just say any racial asian slur out loud and the crowd will laugh with him all laughing at the asian guy and he won't do anything about it cause 1 he is too physically weak and cant or 2 his culture that he was taught by his parents
You can hit the gym to get big muscles, shave your head or get tattoo on your face..but at the end of the day, if you got weak mind, you are weak regardless of your appearance. If one has the social and interpersonal skills like Ken Jeong, your appearance really no longer matter that much anymore. Everyone will gravitates toward you, and view you as a threat bc of your popularity. When I walk into a nightclub in Asia or in Latin, the table that has the most hottest women isn't where all the big muscle or tattoo guys.. The tables that have the hottest women are where the interesting men are at with the loudest laughers from everyone
Probably why so many Asian guys get tattoos now. Back when your mom would be like “oh no don’t get tattoos, only criminals get tattoos” yeah that’s why I’m getting one lmao gotta break the “harmless” Asian guy look cursed upon me
Hey fung bros. Ive been subscribed to this channel for a while now and recently your videos are even showing up in my notifications anymore and I'm subscribed and have notifications on. Seems like someone with influence and authority doesn't like you guys discussing certain issues esp regarding the struggles of a certain demographic group in America.
Body mass and outer appearance do not equal who has the control in relationships. Anyone has control who, they wanted to go out with. Either this guy made up a post or he doesn't understand what he wants.
One major issue imo is that American society allows certain groups to be more violent than others. I feel like black, Hispanic and eastern European men tend to be allowed more latitude for violence compared to Asian and Western European men. For example, I used to live with a Romanian guy who was the kind who would talk shit all the time (which we all did) but you couldn't talk shit about him unless you were ready to use your fists. My other friends would rationalize that by saying that it was just part of his culture or some shit like that. Even when he was obviously abusing his girlfriend my friends would say that bullshit.
they even allow blue collar white people western european to be violent and racist. It just bad if a upper middle class + white people act like this since they are suppose set an example and media tells them asians are white adjacent to them which they are not so they expect us to behave like some spoiled rich white cuck
He sounds like an absolute cunt, mate Only a matter of time until he tries to start with someone bigger than him and gets his his clothes folded with him in them 😂
Time for Asians to get “racist” and confrontational. Like why are all other races expected to be racist but we’re held to some other weird standard? Taking the high road doesn’t do shit in the real world. We’re not to be fucked with anymore
To be more masculine, you have to know who you are and who you're not. That gets rid of most insecurities. I think American culture is not 100% good fit for most Asians. Our true personalities may become suppressed over time. It is important to resist that and remember that we have our own culture as well. If you want concrete examples, I think Korean movies does a good job of showing masculine men
I agree that self awareness is a huge key to masculinity. I would argue that the Hollywood and much coastal culture is currently very effeminate. I personally think that states in the Midwest or Hawaii are much better for being natural. I'm a white man but I'm planning to move to Honolulu, not enjoying Baltimore anymore.
High is he who knows not deception and destruction. Higher is he who understands deception and destruction but chooses not to practice them. There is a difference of being perceived as harmless because you are weak or incompetent and being harmless because you have integrity and moral rectitude. When I interact with others, particularly someone I find attractive, I strive to impress her with my integrity and moral character. If that person does not respond positively, then he or she does not hold similar values, and I should not interact deeply with said person.
Not only men. As an Asian woman, I constantly strive to be more loud and demonstrative than I naturally am to avoid perpetuating the "shy, quiet Asian" stereotype. It's exhausting putting in all this effort just so I can be taken as seriously/equitably as my counterparts of other races.
I agree.A shy unassuming white dude will still make friends and get respect but a shy unassuming asian dude will struggle. As Asians it seems we have to be twice as outgoing and assertive just to get the same credit and attention that whites get.
I study with lots of Asian students in UK. And I see my fellow Asians being so nice and accommodating. Some are aware that they are being too thoughtful when others are not. I am South East Asian too but somehow I was able to become more assertive and vocal (I lived in non Asian environments for a long time and I guess I learnt my lessons). One student from Thailand even got slapped by a white person in a club near the uni and he just took it. He was angry about it but didn't do anything. I felt really bad for him.
loving the analysis here! this chat reminds me of some discussions highlighting the importance of maintaining a dominant social frame (as opposed to our deferential immigrant parents), developing a mad dog respected on the streets, and identifying and neutralizing racial sexual pestering in everyday social situations I'm thinking these 'social zen' nuggets inspired by our stories can be compiled and developed into a framework. Not unlike the 5C's framework developed by Hollaback! (now Right To Be) webinars for bystanders witnessing anti Asian hate crimes I already have a flowchart for escalation during a physical altercation that Hollaback! probably can't put out there for legal reasons..
…a flowchart of escalation says it all right there 😂. Dude don’t do this to us, this is nerdy af that we don’t need right now. But I’m so curious to see the flow chart, felt like you put a lot of work into it.
Why does an Asian guy have to try to be a masculine? How about this? Get in shape and build muscle. Dress good, start talking finding something you enjoy as a hobby and meet someone with similar goals
its respect from how other races of men and women treat asian men and even asian women become sell outs to asian men cause they think they are not masculine and can't hold their frame. There is nothing prideful or proud of when another race mocks your asian background and you do nothing about it thats actually weak and woman all woman despise weak men either physically and or mentally
Asians and Africans have been terribly stereotyped by the American media for many centuries. And sadly these stereotypes infected other parts of the world.
I think the first thing I would address with this topic is that the author of this piece should stop thinking of women in terms of them being of a certain quality or grade. Don't chase a woman based on their looks alone. Look for a woman that has similar interests as yourself, then you won't have to acquiesce to doing the things your partner wants to do, and instead you will both be doing the things that the BOTH of you want to do. But to address the issue of not being perceived as the "harmless asian guy," I think if he worked out and maybe take a martial art, it'll make him feel more confident in himself and that will lead to him being more aggressive or at least not backing down in social situations. And also surround yourself with other people that won't back down. For example, if you are in a situation in which someone tries to bully you, and you are out with your friends...if all of you, collectively, won't take that shit, then you'll see the bully run away with his tail between his legs really fast.
Outward appearance is one thing, but you can be self-confident without necessarily being the biggest guy with a super muscular frame. Sure people are going to judge you for the way that you look, but being outspoken and having a vibrant personality can go a long way. If you are more introverted and meek by temperament, I don't think a viable solution would be to craft a persona of being macho or alpha because that would come across as disingenuous. Have the courage to step up for yourself if the moment requires it, but don't ink yourself to resemble a Yakuza member if you are a Silicon Valley software engineer. External opinions are uncontrollable, it is up to you to not allow the negativity to fuel your insecurities.
This is why I joined the military, got tattoos, spend 3 hours a day in the gym and do other things outside of my comfort zone. I use to be a docile anti social otaku until I realized how much I was missing out on in life with a passive pacifist approach to life. It's people like Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Jet Li and Donnie Yen who motivate me to break the harmless Asian stereotype even though I'm not even 1% of what these legends are during their peak.
I always had strong personality so I had no problems here. I’ll tell the fella to learn to disagree, especially with women. It’s a mental muscle just like any other muscle. Learn to state your opinions. Practice by disagreeing with women - anything, Israel & Palestine or what to eat for lunch - even if you actually agree with her. Judge her a little. She’ll push back. Learn to take the heat. Ultimately, learn to walk away if she can’t meet you in the middle. All this physical shit - building muscles, getting a tattoo - ain’t gonna do shit. There’s a line between being a total douchebag and being someone who’s disagreeable. Learn where that line is. But, in the beginning, you have to cross that line to know where that line is.
I think some East & Southeast Asian American men are not considered as masculine as white men - in terms of athleticism, assertiveness, leadership. There are incredibly strong female figures in East & Southeast Asian families that overshadow men
@@all-star6025 He´s right and they are not "considered" they just are and not just in America everywhere starting with asia itself. I see these guys from Skorea (china and japan too) walking around in ridiculous pants a little bellow the knees, with a dorky goofy face with glasses glued to some screen and a backpack😄That does not come off as athletic it looks like they spend most of their free time glued to a screen watching anime or playing games.
@@kitnascimento0 if a white guy did the same, wouldn’t he be less masculine too? Its a difference in culture and traditions. You can believe what you want though, you one of those that shit on your own community and put white guys on a pedestal? Lol
@@kitnascimento0Ahh, so if you see it, it must be true, huh? Talk about overgeneralizing a huge swathe of the world's population (especially if you're referring to East Asians as if they're some sort of monolithic block, which is itself absurd) as if based on your anecdotal experience, this determines reality. As someone who exercises daily, critiques my own girlfriend and non-Asian friends for their excessive usage of electronics especially when we're out and about, and is pretty assertive if not outright aggressive when dealing with people -I guess I just don't actually exist or am some exceptional person since I'm an American of Korean descent...? This is like if I saw a white or black guy who's really good at playing a sport or committing a heinous crime and then based on just them I extrapolated that to the entirety of the white or black population... It sounds like you are the one who has a problem staring at your screen too much or maybe you're just too r-tarded to understand how the world actually works. Lmao
Southeast Asian men seem to have much more success with social status than Northeast Asian men. Sadly, it might be because white people are often scared by darker skin tones.
It's not worth it. Due to my physical attributes, people are less likely to approach me in social settings, and the police are more hostile with me. Idk about you, but it's disheartening when people are visibly scared of your presence, but to each their own I suppose. Tldr: there's nothing wrong with being a goofball. Everyone needs a goofball in this wretch of a world.
@EurobeerdrinkerI am pretty sure you have non-Chinese ancestry in your bloodline. Most Chinese cannot grow much facial hair nor have much body hair in the first place.
4:55 😂 dude seems young, shallow and inexperienced in life and dating. We all start somewhere… but what is considered a “high quality woman?” And is that according to him, other cis/straight bro dudes 🙄 or his Asian mom
Nice way to disagree, “Yea, I am not sure if I can agree with that because that’s my task (fill in your reason).” Or I want to agree with that but blah blah 🤷♂️.
