I teach my students about how to deal with this emotion often. "Anger is the by product of fear". So whenever you feel yourself start to get angry, stop and ask yourself, what am I afraid of right now? And sometimes it's the fear of being wrong. Or the fear that what the person is saying about you is true. Or for a lot of men, it's the fear of being disrespected by another man. Wisdom tells us that feelings are often times unreliable. They can deceive you and make you forget that anger is one letter short of DANGER!! So NEVER FORGET!! this little nugget of wisdom.
"Whenever you get angry it's because you've been made to see something about yourself that you don't like. If you fix that you'll fix everything" Roy Jones Sr."
That’s confidence. You must carry an abundance mentality that you already have what you need and not only that, but that you have what is required to be successful. Of course this requires that you actually put in the work for self-improvement. Put in the work, be aware of your weaknesses and strengths, current abilities and make daily changes to move toward perfection in all areas. Of course perfection will never be achieved, but the act of pursuing it over time will bring incredible changes and results in one’s life. As you move toward the right direction, out in the work, and achieve small victories, this is where confidence comes from. This is where you don’t take things too personally.
The more Jocko + Echo wisdom, the better. This video couldn't have came at a better time. Thanks again Jocko and Echo! Through listening to this podcast non-stop throughout the summer, you've helped me drastically change my perspective on life.
Love these excerpts. I usually have the podcasts running on RU-vid, in the background while I'm at work, because I like to see your guys expressions while you discuss things. It's nice to be able to get these 5-10 minute nuggets of wisdom without having to watch the whole episode, or remember where it was when I wanna go back and watch it.
wd40 ducttape those are just a couple minor words that have a pretty huge meaning... in 1995 when i was 7 or 8 i was throwing a fit over something i couldn't have & my mom's boyfriend(who i hated because he was always an asshole to me & would beat on my mom) grabbed me & said "boy GET OVER IT you're not going to get everything you want in life" & that stuck with me until this day & although he meant it in a (stop whining type of way) i took it as life will have many disappointments so don't take things too personal & just get over it & move on... that was the only advice/good thing i ever got from that POS
Thanks Jocko and Echo I don't know how RU-vid knew I needed to hear this, this morning but it really helped me swallow my pride and work on fixing a problem rather than being pissed off.
I never used to take things personally and just laugh, recently I have been introduced to a lot of stress and that has made me take even jokes with friends personally and get combative to any little thing.. I’ve caught myself
Jocko, Echo, and his guests are intelligent and empowering people. This podcast is a blessing to this nation. It's humbling as a civilian, that I even have access to hearing this. First responder groups > military branches, police, firefighters are all intelligent and incredible people.
When somebody says something to us that we take personally and makes us really mad, I think we often get mad because they’ve uncovered a truth about us that we know is true, but we don’t want to look at that truth or we’re simply not ready to yet.
This is exactly what I needed to hear. The way echo explained to jocko that you COULD take things personally and it not be true it could still bother you if your insecure about it. The way jocko explains hey man its good to beable to recognize this way of thinking. It’s dangerous. So I got upset at work today when a girl ask me if i bought my car I took it as “oh she thinks my mom bought it” I handle the situation poorly instead of being detached and not caring weather or not she believed me. And maybe answering with sarcasm. Even though I’m still thinking about the situation the following day I’m glad it happen I think its going to help become a better person and change my way of thinking.
There is a whole world full of trolls and bullies who whenever they see the slightest weakness they will attempt to take advantage of you personally or the situation you find yourself in, especially in the workplace. How can I strike the correct balance of standing up for myself and not coming off as thin skinned?
Jocko you're huge help with your wisdom with these sorts of things. I'm not just hearing, I'm listening. I'm making changes and strengthening my character and I feel and see it in my day to day. Thanks dude. 💪
Some people have never learned how to not take things personal and I think it's very important if you want to mature as a person, you need to know your downsides and your upsides and be honest with yourself
I like the fact that these guys talk about real stuff. These are the types of people everyone should surround themselves with. No bullshit get down to the facts and figures of the matter.
My friend Mark used to do curls in his living room right before leaving to parties so he could be more “swoll”!!!!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I’m so dead man that just made my night!!
This is extremely good.Great advice by a couple of wise men.Rmemeber this to anyone who lacks wisdom,the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.You can have earthly women n be considered wise according to mens standards n sure you might be successful n wise in your own eyes as well but if no fear of God is in ur heart to God you are considered to be a fool.So fear God n ask for wisdom because He does say that if any man ask for wisdom He will give it to him..and being that all wisdom comes from God n when He gives wisdom to men it's done in measure.. that seems like the logical thing to do because at the end of the day when your life has ran it's final course it doesn't matter how much earthly wisdom u had because that won't save u but the most important thing u can ever obtain n that is spiritual wisdom n spiritual understanding.Sure being wise can make u a better person but if that's all ur banking on to some how get a pass from God that some how he just might be impressed with how well u delt with ur problems n how good ur advice was that u gave people u will be in for a big surprise.Gods not impressed with wisdom that comes from Him but what matters to Him n even now all that He cares about,isn't so much ur happiness n Sure as heck isn't ur feelings He's concerned about,a that matters is if u have been washed in the blood of his precious Son Jesus Christ n have been forgiven of ur sins only through His own blood because God saids in His holy "when I see the blood I will pass over you" u find that in the book of hebrews..lets be honest with ourselves at the end of the day the only opinion that will matter is Gods.Bible saids Let Gods word be true n all men a liar.Dont take this to be true from me,read ur bible n find out of yourselves what God has to say n what His opinions on matters are.Get spiritual understanding,ask God to open ur eyes to the truth n then let God be ur guide n everything will work out for u in the end.
3:25 actually sometimes I get super pissed when someone is convinced of something that isn't true and then uses you getting agitated as a way to prove that it is. My dad would always accuse me of lying about shit that I wasn't even lying about and I'd get angry and he'd point to that as it meaning he was right which would make me way more angry.
Just clicked to me that my NPD wife did that to me all the time. Were getting divorced next month so it's just nice to get some breakthroughs from Jocko and Echo. They actually help as much as my therapist for the past 3 months. I now have a daily workout, I look and feel better than ever, I haven't got angry anymore, my life is getting better every single day. Thanks a lot guys
Jocko, first off thank you. Around the 6:55 mark I have a question. How do you separate the mindset of separating the resentment and anger on harsh realities and the "address the weakness and move forward" mindset? : Feel like in order to evolve there is a driving force; that force at times comes from negative energy.
Thank you so much for these videos! You are helping the world understand their ego, which is something we desperately need. You were/are a Navy Seal (don't quite know how to word that) yet you are breaking the stereotype a majority of people have about Seals, or military members, or men that are super macho. The stereotype that it is all ego and nothing else (we can blame many movies on that) and that it is their way, or the highway. Again, thank you Jocko and Echo!
I think if you can quickly realize you are starting to take it personally and cool your own jets , that's the best play sometimes. There's always the knee jerk reaction and sometimes you don't want to train that away for the moments where you do need to quick decide to decimate instead of acclimate.
I'm a huge fan of yours as well as Dr.Peterson's. I'm a life coach who specializes in helping men. I try to keep it real and state things the way they are. I do not sugar coat and I always say it from a well intended place. I have noticed that many (specially younger guys in their 20's) have server anxiety problems. I help them sort it using the modalities I'm trained in but some really do struggle. Particularly those that have smoked lots of weed and drink very often. I appreciate that they do it because of their anxiety; but it's their apathy that I find difficult to deal with.
I don't know if either of you will read this but you guys have great chemistry. And when you're REALLY explaining things, your choice of words is damn near flawless. Your videos have been an immense help to me from day one.
You guys are surprisingly insightful. I believe vulnerability and understanding one’s own trauma’s, insecurities and genuine weaknesses and OWNING those is important. I also know having discipline and being tough is important. I’d like to see you talk about those varying contexts and situations, with some depth. In my adult life, I struggle with this. 1 of my sisters died in ‘92 from cancer. Another committed suicide in 2009. Got a divorce in 2008. Dad passed in 2013. Mom passed in 2014. Sometimes I feel lonely and desperate because everyone’s dead or gone. These events aren’t so easy for me to shrug off nor the feeling of being alone on the planet. Most days I do okay. Wake up, crank a workout, feel good, work hard, etc. Other days I still get up, work out and work hard but feel like a ghost among the living. I think vulnerability plays a big part in becoming a resilient and strong man. I also know discipline plays a role here too. How should I balance those? Also a weird thing; vulnerability almost always seems to be a major turn-off for women, even in an understandable situation; so how should you approach that? Only be vulnerable with a therapist or friend who won’t judge? I know you guys might not get this. -message in a bottle.
One thing to consider about taking things personally that has been stated before: if the shoe fits then you need to own it, not get butthurt about it and make a change to correct it. Remember, sometimes it's just business and not an attack on who you are personally but simply your performance. Also consider the source and context for frame of reference. When I started a new career in an entirely different field I made plenty of mistakes. And there will be more from time to time. Some mistakes and criticisms were true, some were just scuttle butt from the rumor mill and some was from very negative people. The input about things that were true can be a hard pill to swallow, but that isn't personal because it a truth. The rumor mill feels more personal, and some things are from people who want to drag you down so they look better. That is a personal thing, but as Jocko has said do not let it control and define you. Thanks to Jocko and Echo for your encouragement!
Very insightful! I agree and am learning. Most of the time, the personal something feels, is a sign for me to listen, look at, process it, then determine what is true ect. We can all learn everyday if we learn to listen, know yourself and remember we are a work in progress. 😊
Not tsking personally should also include not making personal that weren't directed to you; just because you are associated with someone or something does not mean you have to own criticism directed at that entity.
I am new to this Podcast and really like it. This channel is both entertaining and educational. One tiny thing to note: an acronym is NOT an abbreviation, it is a pronounceable word, i.e. "NASA" is an an acronym, while "NRA" is an abbreviation (because you specify the letters individually).
I love Echo's description of insecurity, especially regarding dudes being into their physique. Just very coherent and touched on an aspect of the topic that is kind of overshadowed
The key is to not let superiors know that certain critiques piss you off. When ever they need more production or see you becoming complacent they will mash the button to piss you off because they know your about to get pissed off and go do some frickin work
Glad I found this video. Am going to ask my boss if I can be given more fulfilling work at the one year mark after seeing people hired to fill more complex task and people more junior than me given more responsibilities. I'll admit I'm not the hardest worker but I've met the standards the boss set up for me for some time now and still nothing.
Personally, if my man did most things on the "to do list" but forgot the trash...correct approach would be "wow that's awesome Jocko, do you think you could still tackle the trash while i cook dinner?" Never take any one for granted ! Especially your partner :)
I had Drill Sargant Gureeno and Drill Sargant Fallor both came over from the Rangers. They live the military 100 percent of the time. I remember they said it was 3 of them. Their one buddy took a head shot in central America they carried his body 20 kilometers to a landing zone. Just the level of devotion and heart is truly inspiring. I was only in 10 years as 88-M10 and only did one deployment to Afghanistan. Did many convoys out of leatherneck. Was on base defense during the suicide bombing in 2009 on the MEP, 4 TCN were killed and 3 marines got f'd up. In October George Cauley was coming back from Dwyer and was the 6th truck in the convoy it hit a crush plate. I also remember driving by a school bus engulfed in flames in down town Kandahar, being pinned down because the front of the convoy keeps hitting ied's then some asshole keeps shooting mortars from behind a wall. And because of the R.O.E. having our hands tied most of the time plus many other instances as well by the time we got back. I will admit that I was pissed off. Wasn't necessarily because of being in combat. But it was from the frustration of the upper chain of command. Above our unit, no one ever wanted to stay on base. Everyone would rather be out facing the Taliban running in convoys than back on base doing stupid ass shit handed down from the upper chain of command. We did receive a presidential citation for most miles logged in a combat zone for 2009, 2010. Band of brothers and sisters we still are.
