How to Overcome Clutter Guilt & Stop Churning the Hoard 

You used to film yourself putting the tossy tossy stuff in the recycling bins, the car, the curb, etc. It kept you accountable and really seemed to help. Even if its only a 30 second clip or less in the video, it would make you less likely to churn things as much.

Maybe that’s what you need while you’re decluttering- a trash bag, yard sale box and recycling box. That way it doesn’t get mixed up. Call the kids down to help take the stuff up with you so it doesn’t stay downstairs and get churned again.

I’d say instead of taking the time to display what you’re tossing at the end of the video, take that time to video record the actual recycling / throwing in garbage / shredding / putting donations into your car. Also while you’re decluttering, you could have labeled boxes for each of those categories to toss the items or paper into while you’re in the process- to make it all that much faster and more efficient.

Maybe we dont need a tossy tossy pile! If you have the energy, set up some bins at the beginning of your declutter for recycle and trash, and you could show off the full bag/bin at the end! Good luck with changing your systems for what works for you ❤

I think it would really benefit you to have recycle, trash, donate/yard sale piles while declutterring and sort it as you go. That way you aren’t going through and touching everything twice

The upside of today’s video was to show how much stuff you got rid of over the past few weeks. Big pat on the back to you plus you reinforced the message that if you let things slip you just get back at it. Thanks

September 2024. After the garage sale, everything that's left goes in the car to be given away or put on the curb with a FREE sign. Tina, Al's wife

Being transparent and open and admitting your issues to others as well as yourself is a huge step in any addiction. Kudos.

Ms Heart, I think that maybe you might want to consider stopping the collecting of so much stuff for your twice yearly Yard Sales, otherwise you will always have a large corner area of your basement stacked with totes full of stuff just waiting to be sold off. I recommend this idea because I think it is really taking you away from focusing on your stated priorities of reaching the joint goals you set yourself, namely: 1. To create the boys chill and hangout space, 2. The bigger exercise space for hubby; and 3. Your crafting area I think you maybe need to consider which is the bigger priority, the yard sales or your ultimate goals.

Please dear 💜 while decluttering pls always have 1 - trash 2 - recycle 3 - keep 4 - donate/yard sale bags/boxes near you ( because after the process you dont have to spend double time & energy 💜 about the yard sale. Set yourself a date. If the weather will be ok. If not give promise to self for donation all stuf ( curb + donation center ) beacause shifting the boxes from one place to another place also is waste of your beautifull time & energy. So as one of your followers said pls focus on : 1 - your craft area 2 - kids play area 3 - your hubys exercice area 4 - every indivldual memory area 5 - seasonal decorations. You are sooo amazingly trained your self about this journey. All of us are sooo proud of you. Before the busy holiday season come and the new stuf ( gifts etc ) arrival; you can be more prepared and organized in peace. / you worked soo hard, it s time to enjoy your harvest. Thank for all your sharing. Many blessing for your family. / for ADHD people less stuf always help for tidy home. Everything will have home. Collecting trash, making dishes & laundry will be so easy. Even all family members share just cleaning home. You know declutterlng & cleaning are two dlfferent tasks. Two of them will be esayily done with less ( needed + usefull + love to keep ) life will be open to focus must preicious parts of life : your craft hobby + kids + hubby + family + best close friends. Love you and I m with you from the beginning of your journey. 🌬️💜👏🪬

maybe since you struggle with the re-sort, you need to put the trash in a bag and a box of paper. Then you only have to do it once. it's not as dramatic, but if you aren't finishing the process, it doesn't help you

Sending a hug to the 11 year old girl who was mistreated. You are now a strong woman who is admired and loved by many. I love Friday, because I look forward to a new video from you.

First you are NOT a failure, you’re a resounding success🥳👏👏👏🦄 - look at how much you’ve gotten done in the basement! And the shed! And the attic! Be proud of what you’ve accomplished, and ignore that inner voice. What would you say to a friend trying to do what you’re doing? Tell yourself that. And I for one volunteer to give up seeing the tossy tossy piles at the end if it helps you finish a session faster. You can show us the filled bins and bags - I’m sure we can get a good idea. Good luck with the basement! 🍀🍀🍀

💜I was literally slow clapping you as you put the boxes of recycling, and bags of garbage to the curb ready for pick up, even though pick up won't be for a couple of days! I also agree with some of the other comments~ in each video moving forward, can you separate your tossy tossy pile into recycling, garbage, shredding, and donations categories and then show us their final destinations? It's a flow, or completing tasks issue. You're doing a really good job at the decision making, and now we'd really like to see you stop churning the hoard. Lastly, I'm going to challenge you, so that you can make genuine progress much faster. I challenge you to take every thing right now labelled "yard sale" and simply deliver them to a donation center directly. I know you love yard sales and connecting to community, but it's really slowing your progress down. I trust that all the yard sale items you've identified has resale value, so why not just bless the charitable donation center with something THEY can sell for you, instead you spending precious time trying to sell it then donating the money to charity anyway? You got this. We believe in you. 💜

I’m humbled by your honesty and willingness to share all of the process. With us. Lives are changed because of your courage and commitment. 💜

I think it's a really good idea to follow the decluttering to completion. You are modelling for so many people how to declutter. And above all, how to cope with your emotions when doing it. So extending your teaching to complete your work, not only in words but also in action, I believe is power full.

I have been thinking for a long time that laying out all the tossy tossy is too much work and handling it all twice or 3 times. A box or pile is sufficient to show us your accomplishment. You need to do what expedites your main goal of dehoarding the basement.

I know you say that you enjoy the yard sale - but you would enjoy having a crafting area MORE! And you could show us your projects that you made. ❤ And your hubby could better enjoy the basement for working out, the boys for their play area. Everyone wins if we skip the yard sale!

I would like you to think about the value of having to manage the Yard Sale stuff. Is it worth it? Could you think about getting your space back a tad bit faster and taking the yard sale stuff to a donation center that funds a cause you really care about.

It might be beneficial to have a trash bag, a box for recycling, and donation boxes while you're decluttering. You can put the items in the correct bag or box as you declutter. 💖

Maybe when you declutter bring a bag for garbage and box for recycling,keep bin. Then show you bringing garbage to the garage or wherever you keep recycle and trash. Good job on bringing it right to the curb.

I suggest BEFORE you start a declutter - have bins for paper, trash, yardsale - so you can immediately sort those. And then have a rule that you don't leave the basement without putting the yard sale in the yardsale corner, and taking the trash and paper upstairs and outside to their pickup bins. The motto is "Only touch things once" (as much as possible).

As someone who watches every one of your videos the day it comes out: your journey is more important than your RU-vid schedule! Take as much time as you need, do not rush for our sake ❤ we support you!

So glad you put the trash & recycling to the curb. Regarding the yard sale: when do you price the stuff? That’s a big job! And remember, anything that doesn’t sell goes straight into your vehicle for donation. It can’t be allowed back in the house.

Thank you for allowing us to see your vulnerability. As in the past when you have run in to an issue, it has been very educational to watch as you identify the issue, process it and come up with a system that works better for you going forward. That’s exactly what you have done here, once again! I’m looking forward to seeing you figure it out and pivot in the future. Lots of good suggestions here in the comments, but do what works best to manage your anxiety. I’m cheering you on from Montana! 💪🏻

You could put a trash bag, recyclebox, yard sale bin next to you as you declutter. You would only handle it once and anyone in the family could help put the labeled boxes where they go. You are doing so well! The basement is going to be great after yard sales and boy clear out.

I know how much you enjoy planning for the yard sales, so this is just a suggestion to consider or not, but it seems like you’d free up just an astronomical amount of space and really kickstart the clearing again if you donated the stuff to a charity shop (I know you give the proceeds to charity anyway). Some charities even put on massive yard sales with donations. It just seems like those totes are always there weighing you down, even right after you’ve done one.

I had wondered from the beginning why you don't use bags and bins to sort out the stuff as you are decluttering.. have next to you a bin for every category.. only if you have something that you have already category for it put it away immediately

Hi, if you don't mind a suggestion here it is. We ALL forget to follow through tasks we have to do yet sometimes we don't want to do it. When tasks are to be done step by step it's even more daunting. You could set up labled cardboard boxes for trash with a trash bag in it, recycle, shred etc. As you are decluttering, you can sort at the same time. It may be a bit complicated at first, but once you get the hang of it, it becomes easier. Or you can continue to do what you do and at the end of the video, immediately sort the tossy tossy in each box. That way, it's done and you don't have to deal with it again. Another suggestion is to make a note to yourself what you have done, meaning after items are sorted, as soon as each bag is full, you can discard of it asap. We ALL need reminders one way or another. My daughter's boyfriend has siry where he asks siry everything from the weather, to cooking timing, to appointments everything. Siry is a small device thst doesn't take up space and is so helpful.

Would it help to have a yardsale box, recycle box and trashbag already there while going trough the stuff and put it in those categories immediately?

You have come so far in your journey here! I am so proud of you. I was thinking as you talk about the not completing the tasks that maybe set your self up for success in your next declutter video. When you set up the area have your labeled bins ready - yard sale, recycle, garbage, put elsewhere - then at the end of the sort record yourself taking those bins to where they go. It might give that accountability that would help complete it!

I like that you showed us you actually took it outside! Maybe add that to your videos so the tossy tossy will actually be leaving the house!

I’m pretty sure that all of us followers will be fine with you making changes, that’s how we evolve to better systems. Use the bin method to separate as you go. Make it easier for you as you go. We want you to succeed and cheer you on as you go. You got this!!

Oh my gosh, yes! The emotional strength you show by talking about the guilt and talking to your younger self clearly shows how you were able to pull yourself through those tough times when you were bullied. Not only did you always have this inner strength to tell yourself that you really are a good person, but you are now showing us how to process it and how to be there for OUR younger selves who need those same positive messages. I absolutely LOVE your positive self-talk. Thank you for all the effort and vulnerability you put into these videos!!

I very much appreciate these videos because it shows truth. I am guilty too of not completing my tossy piles. They are sitting in my garage. Your truth helps me be inspired to finish

Love how real and raw you are in this one. You are speaking from the heart and speaking to us like we are your friends there with you. It resonates with me much more than a glossy "presentation".

The yard sale pile made me smile for you. Seeing Miss Pepper there for support was just great. The way you Remind me it is OK to make mistakes is very encouraging. ❤

Great video! For me, when I sort initially I have separate boxes in a line-trash, sale, recycle, keep/relocate. Somewhere I read that only touching something once makes for easier process. So far so good for me… maybe it will help you too. 👍

I'm looking forward to the yard sale, and that corner becomes EMPTY!

I think it's so important that you share what you're feeling, like you do. Thank you so very much.

Once again thank you for showing that even after decluttering it can be left in a pile for a week or two. We are human and all we can do is our best. We made progress and that’s always a win. Thanks again for always keeping it real. Have a great week. Mary, Joes wife 🙇‍♀️👏💪👍💐🙏🐈🦄

You are amazing for being so open and honest about your struggles with decluttering. That's what makes you so relatable and that's why we love you! We all struggle with these same things. We are human. We have issues. We have trauma. Thank you for working through your struggles with us so that we too, can also work through our struggles. Working on this together makes things feel so much better! Thank you for all you do!

I wouldn't even say "right" or "wrong," you're just completing a cycle of activity. It's okay! 💕

Pepper keep up the great work It's looking good. Proud of you.

Thank you for showing these parts of the process as well. There are so many people who are in the same boat as you and it’s reassuring to see that sometimes you struggle too. ❤

You're NOT a failure - you are doing great!!! :)

yes! why do we think we can talk to ourselves in a way we would never dream to talk to someone else!

I think you were very brave to admit what happened! You should feel proud of yourself for admitting and then fixing- I’m sure you helped quite a few people! I’m sure you are not alone💕

Someone once told me something that shocked me but when I thought about it, it seems to be true. That when we are "hard on ourselves" and "hold ourselves to a higher standard", it's a form of pride. Why would "*I* be any more capable of some perfect standard than anyone else? We give others grace and compassion because we may be looking down on them from our lofty perch of perfection, realizing Aw, poor things aren't capable of doing better. But *I* on the other hand AM capable of doing better, so NO GRACE FOR ME when I miss the target. It's a subtle manifestation of a harmful type of pride. Just something that I was told, and it really had an impact on me. ♥

Thank you for another excellent and honest video! And for showing us when life happens you just pick back up and keep going. You don't let it stop you. Great job!

I feel so much guilt about clutter…thank you for sharing. You make me feel less alone! 💜

This was such good internal recognition of habits. Great job. You are doing well!!! I think this was a big moment for you. Admiting the problem helps so much. Sometimes you fail....you learn and then you suceed. I think you are on the right path!

Like everyone suggested, have a trash can, a recycle cardboard box and a yard sale bin so that you don’t need to resort as you declutter. Also, I noticed a lot of yard sale items can just be put on the curb for free or donated to a thrift store. Yard sales are so much work and a lot don’t get sold. Get it out of your home faster.

This video is so real. I have put back many things I never finished as well. Thanks for showing us and helping us deal with our own guilt as well. It's never too late to complete the task. I need to go complete mine now

I remember the last video you made about a yard sale you hosted, actually it was so much work for the amount of money made that I would directly donate all items and have the space in the basement.

When you start cleaning make 3 boxes 1 for sale 1 for garbage and 1 for recycling and just put the stuff there so you don't need to go through it again. And when you want to keep anything it goes directly in its place.

Pepper is so pleased with your progress!

Every time I help someone de clutter as soon as I here them say “ I’ll take it out later” I know that won’t be happening cause we wouldn’t be it the situation in the beginning so I always opt to say I’ll take it to a donation centre or put in my bins 👍🏻👍🏻 it works everytime

Funny watching Ms. Pepper Kitty watch yougoing through all those papers. You are right about working through the emotions to keep the panic anxiety away. The real anxiety panic is just being part of the overwhelming task and getting emotionally tired !

I came to echo a popular suggestion. I was always uncomfortable with the term "tossy tossy" because you weren't throwing most things away. I think "letting go" "decluttering," or "unhoarding" is a more accurate description. We would love to see three labeled bins--trash, recycle, pass along (be it yard sale, donate, Buy Nothing group) at the end rather than another pile you have to go through again. However many bins and labels that work for you! It will save you so much time and energy and is a good visual strategy for ADHD. You are doing amazing work!

I like the idea of the "reset" for the churned stuff. You already spent a lit of energy making decisions, filming, and editing. Its no wonder you had to take it in stages and clear it out later. The stuff doesn't magically disappear by itself. Warm hugs to you 🤗

🙏 Thank you for sharing so openly your struggles when finally getting already decluttered items out of the house, it is so relatable! On one hand it can really be quite difficult to responsibly get rid of this stuff, but I discovered that the final act of shredding paper, putting things in the garbage or donating things to charity can be emotionally difficult for me, so I am often postponing it, creating more work and more chaos for myself. The only way for me to solve this is to include this last step in my decluttering process. This might slow me down a bit but nevertheless for me it is more efficient. Keep going and keep sharing, you are so courageous and such an inspiration! 👏👏👏👏👏

I love that your showing this part of the process 🙌🏽🤩

Thank you so much for sharing your progress and struggles. It really helps me personally and it helps me understand and empathize more with my mom

I think you are amazing and sharing your journey is so enlightening. TFS xxx

A suggestion? it's ok if you just sort into the boxes as you declutter. It's perfectly fine for us to see a few full bins or boxes. We don't NEED to see it all spread out, it still looks like a lot. Also, it might help if you don't consider the video done until we see you take it to the car or curb! you should print out an 8x10 of what it looked like at the beginning and frame it in one of your frames down there :) That way when you get down on yourself you can just look up and see where you were.

Is the yard sale really worth your time? Would it be easier to take it all for donation? Would make your basement much cleaner and you could start organizing it for how you want your basement to look.

Maybe it's better to have a closed trash bag and a bin of recycling rather than a bunch of miscellaneous stuff on a floor. That way, cleaning up is s snap. You used to need the tossy tossy pile. Maybe you don't need that anymore. A garbage, recycling, yard sale, town give away. 4 bins. Good luck!

As you are decluttering maybe it would be better to have a trash box a donate box a garage sale box rather than laying it all out for us to see. It would save you so much time. Just a thought.

Thank you for modelling your process today. I've been going through my stuff, and am now at the second-guessing/overwhelm/churning stage, and it is so helpful to see (again) your emotional process and how you are able to keep going.

Instead of worrying that you are a failure, focus on the fact that you did 80% of the job. You just didn’t complete the last 20% by taking out the trash and recycling. You would never be upset with anyone else who did 80% of a job. It is still a great step forward. You just didn’t complete it. As you always say, give yourself grace. You did go back and complete the task and better still, you showed us you are human and sometimes, tasks take longer to complete. But you didn’t give up. You went back and finished. Well done!

Ms Hart, thank you. I needed to hear this.

Well done. So much tossy tossy out to the curb!

Congratulations on doing this hard work, tackling such things as this is really the worse! ❤

This is very relatable! Thanks for sharing! ❤️

I think having a box/bag for recycling, garbage and yard sale/donations while you are going thru the decluttering would be a big help for you. The tossy tossy pile can be showing us how full those bags/boxes are, and then continue the video by showing us how you put the garbage and recycling to the curb(or in the bins in the garage) and the yard sale bins to the yard sale section, donations into your trunk, etc. It will help you complete the cycle so that when you are done filming, editing and posting really are the last steps.

Hello from Germany, hi Miss Heart and miouw pepper. ❤ You can do it!!!! One step in the time.... ❤

You are doing good, girl! One thing you might want to think about is when you show your "tossy tossy " pile you might want to divide that into sections (trash, recycle, yard sale, and shred). That way it is already to be taken out, even if all you do is put it into a box to do later.

As long as you are decluttering the basement, it would perhaps make sense to have a big recycling bin for paper there, so you can directly throw the decluttered paper in the bin as you go.

Great follow through! 🎉

Whatever don't sell in the garage sale you should load it up in your car right away and donate it that way. It don't come back in the basement cuz it seems like it keeps coming back in the basement

even pepper says get rid of it! lol

I'm needing some inspiration today so I'm glad you posted a video ☺️

You two should make designated spots for things. Example, his workout spot should have all his workout equipment. The kids have their zone. Maybe, at some point you can have a craft zone. Oh, and hubby needs a work/hobby zone

You should make the follow through with the tossy tossy piles part of your video I would find it very helpful when I body double with you 😊

Maybe following Dana K White’s method would help - have a labelled donatable box for donations, a black bin bag for rubbish (trash), your recycling container (or a labelled cardboard box to put recycling in) and then a labelled bin for yard sale stuff. Then just sort as you go, one item at a time, but at the end you’ll have less work to do as it will be pre-sorted and can go straight where it needs to go. You can still show how much you’re getting rid of at the end of the video, just not in one big pile. Just a thought, you’re doing amazingly well though!! 👍🥰 xx

Another job well done! I'm glad you found a way to balance sharing your thoughts and showing the work in this video, it was very helpful and encouraging, as always :) It's obvious how much you have progressed, especially when talking about the guilt. As for suggestions: I suppose it's time to think about when you actually do have time to take care of this side of the process. Maybe having one video like this every month/few weeks is not such a bad idea? And that way, there is absolutely no reason for guilt: taking care of the decluttered stuff only periodically would be part of the plan. Either way, you know what is realistic for you better than any of us, I'm sure you'll find a way to make it work. Good luck, Ms. Heart!

I hope anything left after the yard sale all leaves!

You are doing amazing!!

I’m sorry you had to handle all those items again ( maybe bringing up memories and perhaps second guessing your decisions). Great ideas by others to have a box or bag set out to categorize the items once.

You're doing such a wonderful job! You've done so much already!!! Congratulations!!! 🎉🎉🎉

I hope your sale goes well. So much for your sale 😊

I am proud of girl ❤❤❤❤

I have a serious question that I'm trying to understand. I ask because i have some hoarders i have helped over the years. Is saying you're putting it in a yard sale someday a subconscious way of not really letting it go? I get that from some i help, but they dont actually do it and give reason not to, and with your last yard sale, none of the bins from the back went out. I am asking so i can understand and help better.

💜💜💜🦄💜💜💜 You go girl!

I really loved what you had to say in this one!! Thank you

You spend so much time and energy managing the inventory of stuff: from purchasing, to storing to selling to giving it away. How about spending time and money for experiences rather than things? The boys will be out of the house soon, so spend time with them. Also, and at this age, they don’t need as many toys as they are into sports and extracurricular activities and their friends and social media.

You our friend are so important and loved by Father God and us! Please no more putting your very valuable self !❤❤

Nice episode🎉🎉

Everyone makes mistakes. You just forgot the follow through. But you got it this time and all of us have things we should have followed through on. That basement must be getting pretty close to done being decluttered. Good save as they would say in sports. You rescued that area! Yay!!!!