My grandfather stayed married to my grandmother for almost 70 yrs he suggested the same thing and used it throughout their marriage HUMOR before an argument started and it worked almost everytime again GREAT video
If my husband gets rude or nasty I will ask him "is everything ok, you seem upset?" That usually shakes him out of it and he tells me what's bothering him instead of taking it out on me.
Oh yeah going to bed angry is sadly the perfect advice!! I have to do it a couple times a month. By the next morning he’s always willing to let an argument go just to find peace. I can’t argue effectively & never like to anyway, so it works for me!!
I disagree. we don't go to bed angry. Because that is our rule we eventually make up and hug and then go to sleep. We made this vow to each other no matter how upset we won't go to bed angry. We eventually end up feeling sad and apologizing.
It's good for you, But I think the topic of your arguments wasn't worth fighting for or made you really mad which even wipe your sleepiness, remember this, sometimes hugging can Unluckly convert into a massive wrestling. Your boldness of disagreeing others work to help people in need is not appreciate, if you don't go to bad angry then why watch and give non required comment, who said or ask you to shared that you go to bed hugging, let me remind you, this video was uploaded for couple who want and try but can't have a happy married life, not for a couple who hug right after they argue. Its heard to believe or hope that vow you two made will always Work and made you hug each other right after arguing. No offense but 100% gurantee IT WON'T LAST ETERNALLY.
+Nelly Young um ok. each couple is different. It works for us and we are content. I understand what you're saying. I'm not mad. Everything is not for everyone. It just seems uncomfortable to go to bed angry especially over something so trivial. We have done it before and woke in the middle of night apologizing. It just seems unhealthy to harbour feelings like that. Personally I love my husband and he loves me. After a short while we see we have hurt each other's feelings and we feel bad about it. When I hurt him it feels like I am hurting myself. That is just my thoughts and feelings. You may disagree. However I am a positive person so is my husband. We declare that we will have a positive healthy relationship. That is all😃
shebrownsuga, hm. Your marriage seems to be so solid and positive... and yet here you were, watching this video about how to save a marriage, and commenting about how great your marriage is (or was). It's been a year... I wonder how things are now for you and your husband.
+Shana Garrett Learn to channel your anger in a different manner, find a different outlet for it other than your spouse. Understand that this is only for the time being (one night) since letting anger brew for too long can blow up over time, too.
That is good advice. I cant sleep if i am upset...not that i would be stewing at my husband, just too anxious to close my eyes. I concede that it is unfair of me to expect arguments to follow my desired timeline. We have been married for 18 years. We don't go to bed mad, but we also don't focus on being mad at each other...rather we try to explain how a particular behavior, choice, mistake, etc was hurtful or disappointing to us. If the discussion gets heated, our strategy is to hold hands while arguing...physical contact makes it difficult to stay mad. However, we have always tried to "Fight nice," no screaming, no name calling, definitely no hitting/throwing, be willing to see our own biases and expectations realistically, and apologize in earnest when it is necessary. I really appreciate your point of view and advice, Thank you!
quote you can never solve things with your mind or thoughts but it seems if you are at right place from your heart things seem to solve by itself it takes time
Really good pieces of advice. I will try to apply them. I have problem with my husband, we fight over extremely stupid small stuff. The problem is not what we fight about but the way how we fight. We get angry fast and then get lost in discussions.
Then this is more of a communication problem or a difference in communication style, than anything else. Things may NOT be hopeless yet! This is why I've released a second book called Mend the Marriage. Check it out at www.marriageguy.com as everything is on there, from how to communicate more effectively, down to how to handle the kids, monitor your progress through worksheets and stuff. These videos are for you, too: y2u.be/ij6__SVcMW8 and y2u.be/z262BzLvwAk or sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program at www.marriageguy.com/coaching Take care!
Thanks, I was also thinking about signing up for your coaching program... I am not sure yet but if my husband and I continue like this I most certainly will join the program (in case there will be places available). Thanks again!
I hear you. But try as much as possible to help you get at least a good night's rest. Maybe go to the gym so you'd be tired by night time? It'd be a good release for your pent up emotions. Not to mention the health benefits you'd get from working out.
Ur soo right!...u cant sleep because ur stressed and ur mind wont get off the problems!...i feel im about to go thru this tonight!😐...i try music to relax me
I hate arguing and usually b/c idgaf I'll just apologize first. I don't care if I lose, whatever, I just don't like yelling, I think it's trashy. I think if people just stopped thinking "I need to win" and just give up bickering over crap that doesn't matter, life would go a lot more smoothly.
Brad me and my woman have reached a point where she only expects me to apologize about everything. She is never wrong and even when she knows that she is wrong, she will apologize by blaming me for misunderstanding her. So again, it falls back on me.. She is from the Caribbean and I am from the southern state good ole Alabama. Big culture differences but she sees her way as the “ONLY WAY”. Now, any time we are having a basic conversation where we’re not in agreement, she will immediately go cold and silent. Not fair. It shuts me out and doesn’t allow me an opportunity to ever be heard. Please help!!!
Try not to argue with her about who's right or wrong, but try to express how you feel about a certain subject. Depending on what you two have been arguing about. That way, there WON'T necessarily be an argument. Try to follow the principles here: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-TlMQtZ3okh0.html
Take it from someone with Caribbean descent. Most Caribbean women are "tough", which is a nice way of saying they are very contentious. They're tough to deal with but are typically loyal (typically).
Hello...I try very hard to avoid my husband...but he argue everyday... he criticize me...our relationship is dead no love no sex ....we are just together for the kids...in the weekend he gets drunk and start screaming at me...what I should do help ?!!!
Sorry to hear it. It's time to get counseling and see what's going on. Watch this, too: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE--HhfBqLs-28.html
You're welcome! If it’s not too much to ask and if you haven’t already, please like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won't miss any of my upcoming videos. I'd really appreciate it! :-)
My husband is a very good and respectful guy but I have one big problem with him and is about him don't talk much which I knew in our six years of dating and I appreciate that but I would like for him to talk little more than always listening. He don't share much how his the went and when asked about he'll say everything went fine which goes on at least 70/100 of the time. What should I do or say to help him talk or discuss more with me. Please help me
Great video! I will definitely share it. My husband makes comments that upset me like if my 1 yr son gets upset when I talk to my mom on the phone he says, "what did you think was gonna happen?" Then I'll say how does saying something like that help the situation? He'll say, "oh it's ok for you to tell me your opinion but not me". I'll say but that wasn't an opinion it was just a snide remark, and it's ok for you to say things but I can't react to what you said? Then we'll go round and round. What's happening here? How do I respond to his remarks without starting a fight?
If he's snide, then you can be equally snide in return without necessarily starting a fight. For example, instead of getting angry of his question: ""what did you think was gonna happen?" you can simply turn it into a funny conversation of why you have to talk to your mom, be sarcastic if you have to, but don't get angry. It will get to him and he'll think twice before saying stuff. Try it!
My husband says random nasty stuff like that sometimes. I've learned to either make a joke out of it -like respond with sarcasm or totally ignore it. My husband doesn't realize what he said was nasty or he had a rude tone of voice. He just thinks he's telling it like it is. Some guys are like that.
What do you do when arguments come from your wife venting and she hates my responses when I think that she is being dramatic or thinking too much of a situation? Sometimes my positivity gets me in trouble.
My husband gets like that, he likes to vent, so I just "smile and nod" and reassure him that he's right and everybody else is the jerk. I think of it how I want to be treated if I was in his shoes. Sometimes that's all we need is someone to listen and tell us we're the good guy.
Ok Question; What if, we both think we’re right & just don’t talk about what’s bothering us? Won’t that lead to a divorce? I always say you need to speak of the problem asap. The more I wait the more resentful I become. How do I control my anger?
Then you won't reach a compromise, and one of the recipes for a lasting marriage is actually the ability to compromise when needed. You both may have issues that you separately need to deal with, though.
If my wife and I never got in to anything really just her 22yr old son that has a problem all the time and she choice him over me and left me with him back months ago. I have no idea what to do this is killing me slowly can you please help me???
Why'd you have this sort of competition going on with her son? Is there any particular reason why he disapproves your relationship with his mom? I'd love to help but you need to get to the specifics. Right now, I'm sorry, but there’s lots of missing pieces here, sign up for my coaching program instead so I can look into your situation more clearly and figure out what's going on, then guide you on a regular basis at www.breakupbrad.com/coaching
You're welcome! You’ll never know who else can benefit, so if it’s not too much to ask and if you haven’t already, please like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won't miss any of my upcoming videos. I'd really appreciate it! :-)
how to live with husband who has lower education than me? I really want to keep my family being happy but since I have continued studying up to PhD. I feel unhappy and often have conflict with my husband. he often said to me: Your high education doesn't help you to think properly at all. I sometime feel that way because I need too much from him, but sometime I just want him to think more about improving or upgrading himself.
Have you tried just being in the relationship and accepting who you are...without trying to change each other? :-) That ought to make a difference. Also need to look at hat you're bickering about. If you both can't reach a middle ground, somehow, then your marriage may have underlying problems you BOTH are too close to see....but this badly needs to be addressed first. Sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis at www.marriageguy.com/coaching Take care!
how to deal with such a partner who never listens and always secretive about next move or plan? I am a loud person but my husband also never communicates with me without pointing fingers at my work, it could be my cooking, cleaning or even washing dishes! Most of his talks starts either with negative comment about my body or making fun of my work!
Don't argue with him. But it may be time to get out of the house more. Show him that you're independent and order a takeout from time to time. The point is to break the routine and try to see if he notices and will stop ridiculing you as much. Another option is to talk to him about it. Say something like "I'd really appreciate it if you weren't always complaining, (insert term of endearment here)."
You're welcome! If you haven’t already, please like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won't miss any of my upcoming videos. I'd really appreciate it! All the best :-)
hi...i just been married for 8 months now..we live in different countries..i dated her 2yrs b4 i married her...during the relationship period she calls me more often..as soon as i married her all i get is good morning and good night..i have spoken to her more often about it ..and she knocks her head to accept change but never happens....so i decided to do the most calling myself..when i call her she will listen to me but she doesn't have much to say or just listen till i talk and gets tired to hang up and her defenc is she's not a talking type...she has her own job that shes not pressured by anyone so it can't be busywork thing...at a point i just gave up and be like if she calls fine if she doesn't fine..but im a man human and have not much friends....so i went online and found a lady that even i haven't seen her .she will communicate with with laugh share jokes till we sleep and im sensing my feelings is divertingto this other lady...so yesterday i really got frustrated and told my wife i really regret marrying her . i love her but her behavior is just frustrating me..at a point i agreed that was a harsh word so i did apologize to her...im truly confused on how to handle my wife at this moment cuz its shameful to break a marriage just under 1 year where by at least both should have enjoyed...Please what should i do?
So you're saying all this change coming from her started when you got married? I suggest you take a look into the love language styles, since there may be a mismatch. This vid is for you: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-cVYTYro35fY.html
My wife always suggest break ups and stay out of her life whenever she is mad at me. She thinks complete opposite from what we agree in achieving together, and fixing problems together as husband and wife. I cant understand who is really the problem. I like the 30min rules.
I hear you. Some people are like that. They get too emotional that they utter a lot of nonsense during a fight. Remember that you've exchanged vows, though, so this bond can't be easily broken. It's just a tad tricky to try to get your marriage back on the right track, but this is indeed possible if you resolve to it! Anyways this is why I've released a second book called Mend the Marriage. Check it out at www.marriageguy.com as everything is on there, from how to communicate more effectively, down to how to handle the kids, monitor your progress through worksheets and stuff. These videos are for you, too: y2u.be/ij6__SVcMW8 and y2u.be/z262BzLvwAk or sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program at www.marriageguy.com/coaching Take care!
So we argued over the air freshener in the car (I know) 🙄 I got a phone call saying “who have you had in the car ?because I can’t find the air freshener and it didn’t just magically disappear “ I was pissed by the assumption and delivery and of course it escalated. I ended with a hang up in my face.... and a series of text messages began! 🤔😰 so now I’m here! Any advice ?
Yeah... no, give it time and let your heads cool. How were things prior to the errr... air freshener argument though? Has he always been this jealous/accusative? Don't deal with him if he's still mad. He'd likely realize he overreacted if you stop reaching out. Best of luck!
When I have complains I always speak to my boyfriend in a kind manner, but he answered me back yelling. For example today I said "we should've taken another route because I am tired going uphill" like twice and he was yelling at me saying why i cant stop complaining. And then we fought about how he yells at me when I was telling something to him without any angry tonned voice or yelling. He always yells at me whenever I say any complain I have towards him and its not possible to have "healthy argument". And him yelling at me makes me angrier. Any advice on this?
Do your best to keep your tone down and if he starts yelling or raising his voice, call him out on it as he may not have realized it himself. Stay cool and collected so this won't turn into a big fight, all right? Take care!
Maybe he feels you criticized his choice and it hurt his pride. Now he feels devalued by you, whom he wants to worshipped like a king. Take time to let him know how much you respect him and value him. Men need a lot of pumping up.
Good clear info and simple video...however, the wee several in video advsertisements that were so distracting from what you were saying. I ended up feeling insulted that you'd advertise while having he disussion. another way to say this was it came across very tacky for a man that seems to know his stuff. just a suggestion, perhaps save til the end and if people enjoy your videos they will listen and look to find more from you. Thank you
Hi, Our Marrige is 10 yrs Old, But Now She is Not Even Wants to Talk to Me, When Ever I try to Communicate She Just Refuse to talk or When She Speaks She Starts Fight. And In End she put All Blame on Me and Now so She is Demanding Divorce. Please Help Me
The process of saving one's marriage is a bit complicated but this is why I've released a second book called Mend the Marriage. Check it out at www.marriageguy.com as everything is on there, from how to communicate more effectively, down to how to handle the kids (if applicable), monitor your progress through worksheets and stuff. These videos are for you, too: y2u.be/ij6__SVcMW8 and y2u.be/z262BzLvwAk or sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program at www.marriageguy.com/coaching Take care!
This is a clear signal that you both need to take time away from each other because nothing makes sense anymore and you're constantly being blamed for something that may be BOTH your fault to begin with. People just tend to become irrational in the height of a heated argument and this is why it's important to take a step back, all right? Good luck!
Some people are like that...but you can usually tell. Bottling up feelings isn't a good thing. You ought to gently coax her out of her shell and encourage her to open up to you. This is a process and won't be an overnight sensation obviously, so it helps to be patient, as well as know what to do to do that. Don’t go at it alone. Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis at www.breakupbrad.com/coaching
me n my wife argue alot about everything. I am the only one working I have sickel cell and cancer and all I want is a little help with the kids and around the house but she have anger issues and agreed to take classes but do not go how do I fix my marriage I really love her and don't want to stay on this path because I am starting to re think everything but the love I have for her is want keeps me here. so my question is how to I fix my marriage before it is to late?
Sorry to hear you're going through all this, man. How old are the kids? If possible, you both should work to have a balanced lifestyle. If she's cramped up at home all the time, this may have contributed to her issues. Anyway when did all the trouble started and what has caused it? This may help: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-WU0yhd3ADXU.html but it's really a bit challenging for me to know where to give you a headstart, knowing only so little of the situation...Sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis at www.marriageguy.com/coaching
I and my husband most of the time argue because he likes to call me from work on the road and tell me what to do for him and for the kids and that really annoyes me.Sometimes I do but I tell him I can't do it or there is no need to do this that and he will start criticise me by saying I don't listen and I am stay at home and am jobless and I need to do things outside and etc.I have been telling him to buy me new phone and he did but with conditions.He said I have to agree everything he tells me if I want the phone and I said I will try my best but now he annoys me by mentioning about the phone whenever I disagree.I want to give the phone back and rather buy it myself a phone. What shall I do to get along with him?I argue too when someone disagree with me or tells me what to do.I don't know how to be polite if someone is not.Need advice and cure for arguing with him period.
+Asma Fiqi Arguments can be healthy if done with purpose and with moderation. If there's too much arguing, then you generally would want to "agree to disagree" so to say and not push it, okay? What stuff were you two bickering about anyways? It's time to pick your battles. It also helps if you get out of the house and do something for yourself since that help loads with your self confidence and who you are as a person as opposed being stuck at home and depending solely on your husband. Make sense? It's already the 21st century so you don't really have to take on the role of a traditional wife if you don't want to, so go do what you want, okay? Start with looking for a job to lessen the dependency and instead be able to contribute to your marriage. Good luck!
My husband can't say no to anyone. Specifically our neighbor who is always asking for favors, a ride to the store, food, drinks, utensils. Neighbor came over at 11:30 at night cause he needed bottled water for his baby. Husband didnt feel like giving him a ride so he took it apon himself to give the neighbor my bottled distilled water and now i have none. He cares more about being nice to others but at the cost of our relationship.
He's probably being just nice. LEt him know to ask you first before he gives stuff away. If not, then he has to make sure what he's giving away is extra stuff and not the only thing left on there. I'm sure he'll understand. Just talk to him about it and try not to make a big deal regarding that. Distilled water isn't really worth breaking up over! :-)
My husband does things or says things to intentionally provoke me into an argument. It's as if he LOVES to fight with me. He knows where my buttons are and pushes them intentionally. The last time I just asked him straight out, "Why are you trying to start an argument with me? " When the behavior continued I told him, "I'm not doing this! I don't know way you are trying to goad me into an argument but I"m not doing this." And the behavior continued until I stormed out of the house and left. Another thing he does is he throws temper tantrums over nothing in the middle of the night or in the early morning hours. Last Monday I was awoken at about 5:00 am by his screaming, yelling, cussing, throwing and kicking stuff because one of the cats knocked over his drink. With 7 cats in the house this is not an unusual thing to have happen, it happens all of the time. But on this occasion he went into meltdown. Then he screamed in my dog's face, "Get the F away from me!", the poor dog was scared to death. So I grabbed my dog and we jumped in the car and left. We came back about an hour later after he had time to cool off.
Sorry to hear that. Also, I just wonder... when did all the trouble started and what has caused it? These are my top two marriage videos which may help: y2u.be/WU0yhd3ADXU and y2u.be/W_vzHFqnasM but it's really challenging for me to know where to give you a headstart, knowing only so little of the situation... Sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis at www.marriageguy.com/coaching
It started a long time ago when he was addicted to opiates, I just thought it was the opiates making him act that way. But now he's been clean for two years and his behavior has gotten much worse.
Very educative, but how about the case where by your spouse gets angry with most of the things you do or say even when they are right? How in the case where you feel like there is no problem but your spouse don’t want you to get contact in bed. If you try to be soft the softness is like inviting more shouting How can this be handled?
Your spouse may need anger management but this could be anything, really. So when did all the trouble started and what has caused it? These are my top two marriage videos which may help: y2u.be/WU0yhd3ADXU and y2u.be/W_vzHFqnasM but it's really challenging for me to know where to give you a headstart, knowing only so little of the situation... Sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis at www.marriageguy.com/coaching
brad thanks for giving me tips to get my ex back but the guy she is daiting is was her bf before me she broke up with him cause he was cheating on him and the guy told him to block me from everywhere but sneakly i made another acount and added her but i dont know what to do i love her alot plz help i want her back plz
+The blader Crafter Sorry to hear that, man. It looks like she may have used you for rebound and in which case and I know this is isn't what you want to hear, it's best to move on from her and find someone who can return your affections, okay? Good luck!
My husband don't believe me...he always think I m hanging with someone ....but that's not try...I love my husband so much...I don't do any thing like this. I'll try to understand him...but he dont believe me..pls give me some suggestions
Try to talk to him about what specific things you do or had done at one point that led him to believe you were cheating on him or lying to him. Be careful though because sometimes, he's merely projecting the guilt and he's really the one doing all these things.You might want to read my Mend the Marriage book at www.marriageguy.com as everything is on there, from how to communicate more effectively, down to how to handle the kids, monitor your progress through worksheets and stuff. If your spouse is picking petty fights though, or making a mountain out of a molehill, then something else might be going on. Watch this: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-T9GbRm1J7mc.html If you want to find out your chances at saving your marriage, head over towww.marriageguy.com/quiz and take the free quiz there. Good luck!
When had you tried reaching out to her about it? Pick a good time to talk where you're both comfortable and both your mood and hers are from neutral to happy. Try not to bring up issues when you've already been fighting. Also, when communicating, being passive will only leave room for confusion, so try to discuss the steps and be more specific with the "action plan" okay? Again, choose a good time to talk. You can do it and this should be relatively easy for you. But if you need my help any further, the sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis at www.marriageguy.com/coaching
Hey Brad. I need some tips and pointers. Been in a relationship with my ex girlfriend for 2 years. She broke up with me recently because her parents did not approve even though we were perfect. Anyways I started the no contact. It's been 2 weeks, however we work together. On the end of the second week day we had to work together she asked me what are we going to do, and I told her I don't know yet. As we were talking a manager saw us and told us to get to work. She later texted me sorry about getting you in trouble. We texted for a bit and then I told her we need to continue our break. She was fine, and I just gave her some tips and said just work on your self and time will show us what to do. I said we will take baby steps later. The question is what do I do? Continue the break? Or start over with it since we talked about our feelings and what will happen later. Thanks in advance.
+Yarik Petrash Continue on with the first phase until you reach the 30-day mark at least. You ought to read my Ex Factor Guide so you'll know how to go about it, what to do after this phase, what to say, etc. at www.breakupbrad.com and use this as reference: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-aeGNPBdpnsI.html
I appreciate the support. If it’s not too much to ask and if you haven’t done so yet, please like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won't miss any of my upcoming videos. I'd really appreciate it, too! :-)
so brad my ex accepted a date,And said if date night goes well I'll be holding her soon,with lots of flirting and talk about how we had sexs back then and often tells me how she loves I'm back in school and how she loves my godly wisdom but she will sometimes pump the breaks and say she not ready for a relationship,but hints alot about getting back together,good signs or bad?
+Jonathan Smith Overall a good sign, the downside is to figure out whether she's only pulling your heart strings or not, so this all depends on her intention -- but don't ask her as that would lead to drama. I suggest you play it cool and not wear your heart out on a sleeve, all right? This video may help: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-CsVR7yV4X8k.html
hi brad. I have seen through all of your videos. It helps me a lot. However there is still a problem that I don't know how to do. My ex tells me that she wants to be friend and I said yes. I know I should get away the friend zone but I said yes already. is there any way to do now? I need to know it urgently. Please give me some advice Brad. Thanks a lot.
I know tons of married people in their 40s to 60s who are blissfully married and chasing their dreams together. Point is, being single is a choice... but so is getting married and/or getting into a relationship.
Brad, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a little over a year, we have at least one big argument every month. Most of them are about how he has too short of a temper. I really don't want our relationship to fail and I'm willing to work through all of our issues, but I can't decide if his short temper is too hard to deal with. He's somewhat verbally abusive. Should I try to fix this or, are these actually his own issues? He's also a lot older than me. Ten years to be exact. Could our age difference also be reason why we constantly disagree?
+Cecilia Gomez Hi Cecilia, it's important to get to the bottom of the issue. What's causing his temper to flare up? Is it something of his own doing, yours, or of outside circumstance? Fighting, albeit it being necessary sometimes, does take its toll eventually. I can't tell the source of these fights for sure, unless I know more about your situation, so consider signing up for my coaching program at www.breakupbrad.com/coaching so I can take a look at all the factors at play and get more background to your story as well. As a relationship coach, I take the events as part of a whole instead of a series of happenings. Thanks for understanding!
This all depends whether there's some truth to it or not...and how you want to proceed right after. Is he behaving in a suspicious manner? Sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis at www.marriageguy.com/coaching
+Sabrina Greinke I wonder what's so different this time... What made it work in the 10 years you've been together? Moreover, what do you two usually fight/argue? Recurring things have a way to bite you in the behind if you both let it continue for so long...
Brad I am watching this video trying to become more of an adult in a sense changing my thoughts on relationships. My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 going on 5 years and its becoming stressful to us both. We are both 24 and looking to get married this year and in the process of bettering one another. I have a pornography issue according to my girlfriend and she feels as if at times I am not interested in her. I am very sexual and she is more along the lines of a sapo sexual ( turned on more by conversation) and though we have been together for so long its seems as if there is nothing to talk about anymore if its not bill or money related. What can we do me as a super sexual person and her as a sapo? This is my soul mate and I don't want disagreements, misunderstandings, and porno to be the catalyst to a bad relationship...
+Neal “Poppa” Reid You can meet each other halfway, man; however, it can't just be one person doing the work. This means you agree on how much time you ought to spend having sex, while you can also ask her what turns her on, I supposed you already know this though, just basically try to turn her on via a stimulating conversation, whatever works for you both. You may also do away with porn or at least not tell her about it so she doesn't feel insecure...especially if she can't seem to match up with your libido, but just talk to her, man. Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis at www.breakupbrad.com/coaching
What's important to you is purely subjective, so don't expect other people to make that decision for you. They're not in the relationship, you are. :-)
S.O.S hello I'm not married but I do live with someone I'm 35 and he 60 and we've been together for a year-and-a-half and we act married and we got into a silly argument because I started a new job and I wore my uniform twice in a row and he doesn't believe in that he said I should wash it out I only have one uniform at the time I thought it wasn't dirty or stained I can get away with it for one more so immediately I walked away and got dressed in a bathroom and later while at work he text me an apology I accepted it but I express my feelings with it and expressing myself turns into argument and he immediately made it seem like this argument was my fault so I feel I cannot express myself with him he is 60 and set in his way how do I deal please help and now we're not speaking or cuddling so he's being very cold and distant and I live with him so this is tough
He sounds very controlling and closed off for not hearing you out. Lady, that man may not be marriage material regardless of his age. One of the pillars of a strong relationship is good communication and this simply won't happen if he's always on the defense. Have you tried other means to communicate with him, though? It's possible you two may have very different communicating styles and this is why everything's turning into an argument. Since your situation may be unique, you can work with me one-on-one so I get to learn more about the situation and therefore be more equipped to help you out, at www.breakupbrad.com/coaching
Joke: How long does it take for a wife to prepare A Father’s Day family dinner? Ten seconds or les because the wife just hands her husband a frozen microwaveable dinner. Then a little smile not a ridiculous cackle laugh or you might actually get a microwaveable dinner for Father’s Day. This is funny because likely your wife would love to entertain the idea of doing that at the moment. Plus she probably is going to answer the question by recalling how much time and effort she put into the year prior Father’s Day and most likely she will think it is silly and light hearted. You are welcome fellers.
Try a different approach. This is why I've released a second book called Mend the Marriage. Check it out at www.marriageguy.com as everything is on there, from how to communicate more effectively, down to how to handle the kids, monitor your progress through worksheets and stuff. These videos are for you, too: y2u.be/ij6__SVcMW8 and y2u.be/z262BzLvwAk or sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program at www.marriageguy.com/coaching Take care!
Talk to your wife or just try to let these "petty" arguments slip, if you can. After all, it takes two to form an argument. :-) As to your family, she's either family-oriented or not. It doesn't look like she is, but what steps have you taken to try to get her to understand? Try communicating without putting blame on anyone. I could be wrong, but if anything, it could have to do with you and your wife's communication style being a mismatch. But it's really challenging for me to know where to give you a headstart, knowing only so little of the situation... Sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis at www.marriageguy.com/coaching
What do you do if you both have argued so much in the past that the attitude with one another keeps you from communicating at all? What if it's easier to ignore each other then to actually argue?
If you don't have anything in common or can't find a middle ground, then I understand that can be a huge obstacle to a harmonious relationship. If could be the way you deal with each other or that you two are just too incompatible to continue anything that resembles a relationship, try to see which is which. Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis at www.breakupbrad.com/coaching
Thanks! If you haven’t already, please like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won't miss any of my upcoming videos. I'd really appreciate it! :-)
hi brad. I have seen through all of your videos. It helps me a lot. However there is still a problem that I don't know how to do. My ex tells me that she wants to be friend and I said yes. I know I should get away the friend zone but I said yes already. is there any way to do now? I need to know it urgently. Please give me some advice Brad. Thanks a lot.
I love that you included going to bed angry. If you're already angry and fighting, you're just going to keep fighting and being angry well into the night, most likely escalating the situation. Every time we go to bed angry, we're both instantly apologetic upon waking up, and can talk calmly about the situation. We even end up cuddling sometimes afterwards to make ourselves feel good/close again (if that makes sense). I'd rather wake up a little earlier to discuss what happened, than stay up until God-knows-when just getting more angry and frustrated!
Yep! ;) Thanks for testifying about how spouses shouldn't really push the issue into the night because yes, you're both tired and most likely exceedingly grumpy.
Sleeping in separate rooms tonight because I was a bitch. I don’t know why I do this but I feel he’s overpowering me when he’s not. Feel like I’m being gaslit but I’m not. Feel like I’m defensive instead of open. Cannot explain the amount of self work I’m putting in that’s not good enough. Your vid is great! Going to try it
I k ow that feeling. I'm the type that desperately needs alone time and when I don't get it, I feel like I'm going nuts. I set up a little chill out area for myself in the basement so when my husband gets on my nerves I say "oh I have to do laundry" and go downstairs lol I feel so much better after my self imposed "time out"
I need to watch this video every day! My husband and I argue about everything big and small. Our communication styles are so different. He is so blunt about everything and I get offended way too easily. Any tips for not getting offended so easily?
Now I don't drive anymore so I just video record her. This stops her yelling because I upload to youtube and make them public. I also don't go anywhere with my wife. I only invite her to go for a walk at the park, but she declines. I go daily as soon as she parks her car.
Walking is a good exercise and you could really use those exercise-induced endorphins anyway. Sorry I can't comment further since I don't have a clearer sense of what's really been happening. Sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis at www.marriageguy.com/coaching
+Brad Browning Yes, I would sign up, but I don't have any money and she probably wouldn't pay for it since she doesn't earn enough money as a maid at a hotel 4 days a week. She pays all the bills. The plumber gave her a $1,200 estimate last week. The 2nd plumber gave her a $2,500 estimate today. One credit is maxed out because her car broke down 5 months ago. The other credit card has less than $500 credit left since she paid my probation officer so that I would stay out of jail for awhile. (She lied to the police & put me in jail. Then our daughter lied & put me in jail again) Both bathrooms have problems. Also the roof leaks. I would still help her fix everything, but she shoots my ideas down and my goals, too. She refuses to read the bible after I showed her that wives are supposed to be submissive to their husbands. Oh well, her life is more painful than mine because she doesn't read the bible.
I don't get it. I approach things that are neutral with solutions. I don't nag, point fingers, accuse, or blame him. I simply say, "hey can we talk about something? I think there's something we can work on or modify." I bring it up when he's alone and approach him this way and he gets defensive. I resent him because he says there's always something I have a problem with. That's not true. 92% of the time, we're really good. The other time I feel like we need to discuss things but because he's so defensive, it turns into an argument. Do i just need to be a bitch now and nag????
It could be a problem with BOTH your communication skills. Well, it's not really a problem per se, but it is in this relationship because you two seem to clash because for some reason, he gets defensive. He could be avoiding the issue altogether or just a bit immature when it comes to talking about problems you two have or he simply expect things to be good all the time. If you're sure you've done everything and there's still no progress, then as a last ditch effort, you can Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis at www.breakupbrad.com/coaching
Lying, cheating and your partner breaking the unspoken rules is a different area altogether. If you've been lied to/cheated on, I say there's a necessary argument.
Yup! Or better yet, sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis at www.marriageguy.com/coaching
What happens when you go to sleep angry is that you don't get a good nights rest and you blame them for being the cause of that and a grudge is held and/or the person blames you for cutting them off. Both partners have to come to an agreement that they are finished for the night. Additionally it's not worth it. Ppl die in their sleep all the time and the next day isn't promised so do you really wanna risk your last words with them being an argument?
I get that the declared goal of this video is to prevent conflict; but has said researcher ALSO measure the likelihood of the dishes EVER starting to end up in teh dishwasher by No. 5? (because imhE in my own marriage and MANY others, the liklihood - IN EITHER szenario_ is not terribly high to begin with... let's be honest there)
My ex husband used to shut down in every disagreement, arguments we had. He literally covered his face with pillows or lock himself in the other room for hours. Then never come to discuss the problem . I tried many times , he didnt . He took anti depressants so something about him he never could stand about arguments. He NEVER would resolve anything. He often used to walk away middle of arguments without telling anything..that was so so humiliating. And he always blamed me for my anger, reactions. He Would often involve his mom in middle of our conflucts ! Yes I got frustrated at one point when he kept avoiding every conflicts and having no discussion. I literally had to sugar coat everything otherwise hos feelings would be hurt and he'd hold grudges for 10 days until i have to apologize for 100 times. Still he wouldn't let it go, constantly be upset abd bring things up what i said . I was so so so frustrated at this vicious cycle. He'd literally play video games in the other roo. When i was upset and wanting to talk I dumped a shampoo bottle on the bathroom! Funny but true. That made him decide he wants divorce . And typical of him , just secretly filed the divorce after i moved out. He's telling his friends im the manipulative controlling one whereas i tried to do the best for us, he was 28 without a job and degree and living with parents. I cooked, cleaned , and looked for apartments to move, work on budget, etc.. he did nothing but video games. How am I the controlling one? I tear down crying with self guilt how was I so bad when he literally never talked to me about any issues???
Half the time the argument starts because the wife wants to make a conflict out of something petty. Once she is made, you can use all the logic in the world, and she will be too stubborn to pull her head out of head ass. I seen husbands that were the cause of drama as well, but most of the time this shit comes from the wife or girlfriend. They will fight with you until they feel like they are right or justified. Women on average are children trapped in grown-up bodies
I love him dearly. He can be such a great guy. But lately because he has a room of his own he goes in there and I can't get his attention for anything. What really pisses me off is when I cook dinner every day and it's time to eat I can't get him to come eat. He waits for almost an hour to come eat. I feel it's disrespectful that I just worked all day then cook a hot dinner for he and I only to not get him to come eat. What do I do about that?
Maybe don't pay attention to when he eats so save yourself the headache? I'm sure you can miss a meal or two from time to time. If this is something that he does often though and is bothering you, then communicate your needs to him. It's possible he got too engulfed with something and has no idea as to what you feel about it. Pick a good time and place to discuss it.
My future marriage wouldn't b saved if one of my family members or friends bring up something from the past my soon to b ex-wife didn't want to hear. I suggest that people should keep nasty comments about me from the past to themselves. I'm not married yet. But...whomever does bring up something that could keep us apart, I'll b brutally, monstrously furious @ that person, & could lead me to lifelong depression, blues, & low self esteem. I have 61 years ahead of me! I'm 38, to b 39 N June, RU-vid. Marriage is a tie between 2 people I already know. I have 1 brother, who was married & is now a divorced 2 time father. My oldest brother, a father of 4, was married, then divorced, & married again & separated. One of my sisters, a 5 time mom was married to a minister for nearly 20 years, also divorced. My oldest deceased sister, a 7 time mom, separated as well. People need to b more careful as always what they say around my future wife. I hope they make me a promise that while my spouse & I are married, they need to stop...living...in...the...crooked past. Marriage is something I've long expected, because someone @ my job is dying to know exactly when is our big wedding day. I also hope family & friends show up that day my bride & I say "I do".
hey brad! I have a girlfriend about a year ago. I'm in highschool, but I had this girlfriend more toward the middle of 8th grade. I really liked her and I always tell her that and she knows I really care about her but she plays hard to get. from your vids I can tell I have done everything wrong so far. can you help me and try to turn things around so we can get back to the fun/entertaining "friendship" ?
+quit Hi there! Try doing the opposite of all the wrong things you've mentioned and try to play it cool instead. Okay? Let this video guide you: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-ydeES3WU1Uc.html Whatever the case, don't take things too seriously now since your age is a period of growth and lots of changes. Focus on your studies instead, all right? Take care!
My husband only goes to his friends or friend's family's home or relative's home whenever i or he plan to go out. He never wants only me and I to go out alone. Whenever i try to tell him that i sometimes want to go with him alone he does not seem to be understanding what i am trying to say.... How to make him understand this?
Me and my fiancé have been together for 12 years going on 13. We have been each others first since junior high and we now 25 and 26. Our arguments have become something that seems to be unbearable, almost like we are making each their physically and emotionally sick. They become more like battle wars between us. I always plead and ask that we stay together instead of ending things. During our arguments my fiancé says that he wants out. Is this something I should agree with and just call quits myself? I feel like we need real help. I’m just hurt on the thought of being the end of us because we have built so much together since we were teenagers basically half of our lives. He claims that everything that goes wrong between us is always my fault, that I don’t know how to act, or how all I do is cry instead of being a woman and realizing what I’m doing wrong. I just feel that it takes two. What do I do? What advice is there that we can maybe have a light at the end of the tunnel?
Fiance for that many yrs? Sounds like your holding on to the idea of it working. Focus on your self and god and fix your self before youl have a healthy relationship. If your having sex living together saying i love you all these yrs then why havent yall got married? Sounds like your wasting your time.
What do you fight about? Over time, people change and my initial guess is you both haven't evolved accordingly, at least not in a way that suits you two best. With the history you have, there's a chance may be able to get her back but this really depends on what's going on, man. Start with the 30-day "no contact" rule. Your situation is also very delicate so once you start to see some progress with your ex, then don’t go at it alone. Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis at www.breakupbrad.com/coaching
Sorry to hear. How so? Do you think that is just a phase or have you been feeling like this for quite a while? Have you tried couples counseling? Therapy? Or reading my Mend the Marriage book? Sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis at www.marriageguy.com/coaching
