how to process an emotion *life-changing tips from a therapy veteran* 

Steps: 1. Acknowledge and name the emotion 2. Pause and notice - don't avoid emotion or use distractions 3. Sit in silence for 5 mins. 4. Reflect on your day 5 mins before sleep 5. Emotional chart- name the emotion 6. Don't justify your feeling 7. Moving forward- the feeling may come up again but it will less intensive every consecutive time. Feel empowered for acknowledging and resolving your feelings. Have an healthy coping mechanism: exercise/ journaling/ talking to therapist, partner, friend/ walking/ pursue hobby/ shower/sleep.

From the perspective of someone a little older, if you’re working on any of this stuff in your 20s, and think that you’re behind in any way, I definitely want to let you know that you absolutely are NOT. ❤ There are so many people who continually go throughout their lives never addressing this stuff, even though it massively affects both them, and how they interact with the world around them. They still just flatly refuse to go anywhere near the issue. I say all this to say, just working on these things at all, and especially at such a young age, is incredibly commendable. And, you’re actually quite ahead in life to be looking at them now, so you should definitely take pride in your self awareness and your decisions, because it is not easy.

I heard "you're too sensitive" my whole childhood from my family. It has definitely affected me my whole life.

I remember the first time I just let my anxiety course through me instead of trying to explain it or suppress it. I placed a hand on my chest and allowed my heart to beat rapidly until it finally calmed down. Afterward it was a lot easier to take myself out of anxiety spirals before they even started. In my childhood I was shamed for expressing distress despite it being an appropriate response to trauma I was experiencing. Being able to process negative emotions is essential for my mental wellbeing.

Emotional intelligence classes should be a thing. It’s even academically justifiable because it could get into other subjects like science, the arts, and business interpersonal skills.

I never really thought about how important knowing how to process emotions was. Society just expects people to know how to process emotions since they come up so naturally, and we are never explicitly taught how to do this. But the tips you provided just felt so helpful. Especially the one about reflecting on your day; there are just so many things going on in life that we never acknowledge, and they can wear us down without us knowing if we don't address them. I will definitely use some of these tips. Thank you!

i'm an avoidant attachment that never knew to process or talk about emotions properly, the skill just never came to me naturally. thank you so much for sharing ❤

The " best dad" shirt " set the tone of calnmness. 😅😄

the sitting for 5 minutes is pretty much medetation, you pay attention to what thoughts appear when you dont have anything distracting you from your emotions

FYI generally basic meditation practices ARE just sitting with your thoughts and emotions you're supposed to let whatever comes up come up. What's advised is to learn to pull your "mental spotlight" back a bit so rather than being trapped within those emotions you can... observe them from a distance. That does NOT mean not feeling them, but ultimately it's the reason for the concept of "not-self" or whatever, you are not your feelings because there isn't a you, not perceptually, just stuff that's happening and an observer. It's hard to explain but it DOES make this process easier.

commenting for the algorithm bc this was actually so helpful + practical! like people always say that you have to process your emotions & not avoid them in order to heal but i'm not sure i've ever heard anyone spell out exactly how to do that, or at least not in a way that's stuck with me. i think this video is one that i'll think of often moving forward :)

Yeah, shower talk and shower CRY are such a relief!!!

the more experience i get in therapy (3+ years) the more frustrated i get when i observe friends constantly intellectualizing their emotions and projecting them all over the place ~ it's been helpful to pull out the feeling wheel with friends! really smart people aren't necessarily emotionally intelligent

Everybody talk about processing emotions but nobody tells how to actually do it, its like they don't know it themselves and just repeats it, because its 'important'. Thank you so much for providing the knowledge to us! I wondered if you can heal yourself without therapy. I will make sure to follow what you've said in order to process my own trauma that i've been dealing with for a while and I acknowledged it but haven't done anything about it. Thanks again

OMG i have been in therapy for 10 years with cptsd and this has been the most helpful thing anyone has told me so far. I have been asking how to process emotions for years and no therapist has answered that question, nor have I seen this online. No one tells you HOW. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!

Subscribed. I've had over 20 years of trauma thanks to my family; and even though i go for therapy, I've realised there's so much self work to be done. I have no idea what emotions I feel (my go-to is any kind of distraction) because I didn't have the space to emote as a child. Thank you for this video. This is just the beginning of my journey.

8:41 hit me. I constantly feel that im always in the wrong for setting boundaries. And its been hard to regulate my emotions. Thus video is God sent. Thanks sm.

best dad ever!

Acknowledge and name the emotion (can take help from the emotions chart). Pause and notice if you're avoiding dealing with your feelings. Sit in silence with no distractions to hear your own thoughts. Reflect on your day. Receive positive validation. Don't justify your feelings. You will be triggered by trauma in the future but hopefully, the intensity reduces over time. Take steps to protect yourself from situations or people that keep triggering you Healthy coping mechanisms: mind is free but body is busy. Exercise, journal, craft, walk without distractions, cleaning, shower, sleep.

I've always had to conceal my emotions when I'm around people and smile like a jooly fellow. When i react or act different, people ask me why I'm being moody or I indirectly wasn't acting as strong or as happy as they expect me to be. And when i get angry it's so hard to let go of, i don't have anger issues but i just can't forget the anger when someone cuts me off from their life because i think deep down I'm hurt about. I'll definitely download this video, thank you.

i'm so glad this popped up on my recommended. i recently was struggling with processing anger and expressing it a non-destructive healthy way. I used to believe that i wasn't an angry person and that i could never be angry, but i think i was doing myself a disservice but not allowing myself to feel those heavy and hard emotions. once i started acknowledging that anger is within everyone and is a completely normal feeling to have, i feel like my perspective on life and how to manage my emotions changed for the better. it allowed me to be accepting of myself, and because of it, i've found ways to express my anger and cope with these heavy emotions in a way that works for me, isn't destructive, and doesn't push away people that mean the most to me. you can do it!

I focus too much on the fact that the people i care about and give my attention to, perceives me as optimistic, happy, hyper, funny individual at all times. When moments appear where i do start to go through stuff, i most of the time tend to repress or bottle my those emotions and find distractions because moments when i'm vulnerable because i recently went through something, the people close to me handle me with direct confrontation instead of comforting which can result in me feeling more than drained than ever. I can handle criticism and being confronted in general just except when i'm vulnerable.

The emotion chart is a game changer. Thanks for sharing these wonderful tips to make living easier!

Wow wow wow!!! It’s almost as though you just rifled through my journal. A journal which only came into existence when I started to realise that I wasn’t processing my emotions properly. Processing is such a key and fundamental word and I, like you, came to the realisation through learning from my own experiences and reflecting. Can’t even tell you how much good this entire thing has done my mind and body and will continue to. My one piece of advice would be for everyone to remember that you’re not going to be brilliant at processing your emotions straight away. It isn’t a magic fix, but a journey. You’ll ‘back-slide’ and have times (that may be a day, it may be a month, or longer) you go through without processing your emotions properly. But that’s okay. It’s part of it. And once you identify it, it just goes to show that you’ve made progress. Each time, you’ll get better at identifying things and these emotions will not become less, or non-existent, but you will be better equipped to handle them each time.

To anyone who is passing by, I need some advice. Here is my story. I'm going through a lot of things recently. First off, I've always been social anxiety and a stutterer my whole life, and I didn't face it until recently. I started to show up for myself, like I'm trying to speak my mind and express my feelings more even if I might stutter on some words. I'm trying to face the fear of being judged. Secondly, I was hit by lazy eye, so I was going to the hospital to train my eye muscles and was looking for a job at the same time, and this week, I just got a job offer so I'm being worried if I can wear an eye patch to work because my doctor said I have to cover my bad eye for months until my eye muscles can get stronger. I don't know how to process these feelings. It's like something in my life got better and worse at the same time. I guess this is the fear of change and fear of being judged.

Absolutely LOVED this topic. It's unfair how a lot of ppl may feel shame for expressing themselves (myself included, but we're getting there whoo). Im actually really big on ppl giving and receiving a proper apology because that to me is one way how you show someone you're sincere about the way you made them feel, no matter how small like you said. I don't wanna make this too long, but thank you for sharing your thoughts and input on this topic. It's an eye-opener and feels comforting to know others are going through the same thing, and see these issues being talked about. Keep up the amazing work!💙

thanks. Knew my heart felt horrible but when i addressed with microscopic detail why, and the person who hurt me it stopped hurting. The anxiety of being “in trouble” subsided substantially.

I love this. It took me over 15 years of therapy to love myself enough to let my body process emotions. This year, at 30, after going one year sober, and after breaking up with what I thought was the love of my life, I finally held myself in my own arms and said "I'm proud of you. You're doing the right thing". Devestating, but so liberating. I always thought I was very emotionally mature. I would intelectualize everything, talk about it to no end, but never actually process any of it. It hits like a ton of bricks when you get there, but now crying feels like a release and not a catastrophy.

This is exactly what I did to clear out an abandonment trigger... Instead of reacting we must stop and breathe .. The body's waiting for us to acknowledge it because it's held it in and kept score since we were children. People are so afraid of feeling the pain of the emotion because they remember it from childhood they don't realize that they are the one adult now in charge and not powerless and can redirect and clear it through the energy centers. And allow it to flow out and release the blockage, once we trust and surrender❤ The best way to learn to pause is by starting meditative practices because you learn to observe your thoughts, and stop believing them or acting on them. The world has been deliberately created as a matrix to distract control and enslave us because we have reactive triggers, to what's on the news for example.... just because it's their doesn't mean we have to believe it or act on it. Breathing and responding from our own internal guidance is how you take your power back. But it stems from a lot of toxic and dysfunctional family patterns and cycles that are inner child needs to heal from, otherwise we repeat the patterns with our jobs our employers, our partners friends etcetera. We attract and create our own external world that is mimicking how we feel internally. Energy healing and sound healing is great for the body as well, because it's about unblocking energy centers, the chakras... we are energy frequency and vibrational beings first and foremost❤ in meditation you receive the answers you seek.. because you have learned to detach from the external world and especially family members or others thoughts and feelings because they are not ours and they have nothing to do with us, and never did. They can only merely reflect externally what's going on within them at any given moment. Just as we do.

I'm glad that I already think these ways. I dont have any trauma. I just stress too much. But lately, I've been taking care of myself more and the effects are positive. I take some walks by myself, watch the landscape, people and nature then do some sport once a week(the walk alone is once per week. For sport, its 5 days a week. I swear, sport helps alot in many ways). Whenever I fail a test, (which happened in one of the 4 tests we had today(Im in 10th grade Im 15 years old rn)) I used to cry just after it. But now, I just think its in the past and think about how to compensate the bad grade. Because, what else can be done, the bad has already happened I cant go back. I also had to deal with "love" emotions that made my heart go up and down the cliff. I'm still a bit hurt but time is healing it. (And the punches I give to my punching bag). But smtg is still annoying me cause I only think about the same things for HOURS.😮‍💨 But "thanks" to my 7 hours of classes per day I sometimes have to think so much that I forget those annoying other thoughts.(Im in french system. I pray for those who are in asian systems like Korea, Japan and China. You guys are tought and I respect all the people who've done it that far in these systems) Its the 1st time I write such a long text. Srry bout that. I hope yall can get throught what you want to overcome. Im sure all of you have bigger problems thand I do. I wish I could share my luck with the most unlucky ones. I send good energies to you. And dont forget: nothing is impossible. I was once unable to do one correct push-up... now I can do 10!! 😂 small improvements should always be seen as a victory, u should think the same too! It might help🤷‍♀️ Bye-bye☆

thank you for making this video! I needed to hear this today :)

thank you so much!!❤ you are helping so many people with your videos.

you broke this down so well. thanks for sharing!!

I’m so happy I stumbled upon this video and your channel, love the knowledge you give thank you ❤️

Subbed- thank you for honouring all of our time and giving us such life changing info without making us watch a 2 hour long vid. This will help so many people 💕

I just wanted to tell that thank you so much for doing those videos because it is helping me so much and i want to watch everyday your videos

this is actually so clear and helpful i’m gonna cry thank you so much ♥️

this is just, incredibly helpful. thank you

Great video. I learned a lot of helpful tips. You learning this stuff at such a young age is awesome ❤

this helped a lot. thank you so much. i always felt the need to justify my emotions, in fear i was being petty or simply weak. this was reassuring to hear, thank you :")

This gives me so much hope seeing such a young person put this out into the world

You are a beautiful human being❤thank you for this video ❤️

this is so good! thank you for sharing

Lady, you are saving lives! Adding subtitle was also a good idea. Thanks for this.

Loved this, thank you. Also really enjoy that you just sit in front of your camera and speak without a lot of jazz. 🌸🌸

Girl, this is so true.

This should be way more popular. Thanks a lot, like really!

the way you describe processing the healthy coping mechanisms, such as journaling and walking is so relatable, wow.

Uahl!! What an extensive description, perfect, covering multiple scenarios, I'm saving this video for life. Espetacular!

this is so insightful, easy to digest, and very helpful 🥹 thank u sm for sharing ♥️

amazing video thank you! I hope your channel grows!

Such a beautifully organized and cohesive mini lecture! Thank you very much for sharing 🙏🏼 you have helped me a lot, I took notes on your video hahaha

Thank you so much for sharing. Seeing a wheel of emotions for the first time literally made me cry. There were so many feelings I thought were sadness that are actually anger.

Thank you so much for making this video❤ ... I really needed to watch this to let some steam off I feel much better after understanding how I can let my emotions out and process it in a healthy way and I'm literally on my way to journal rn ....

Such a good video! Tysm for this!

currently doing DBT with my therapist and this video truly helped me! I need to learn how to process emotions. Thank you❤

Thanks for this, I’m on a journey of self healing and developing my emotions by myself! I really want to save a relationship and future ones to come. I appreciate this video so much

Thank you this came right when I needed it😅

hello! i just wanted to say that this video was very good and im so grateful that you're putting this information out here for others :) i think this is amazing and i took notes down on this whole video, thank you so so much !!

THANK YOU sm as a fellow cognitive science major, it's hardest to endure issues when they come to the self

Simple. To the point. Lean. Excellent.

that is some legit useful information on emotion processing ✨

Thank you. So many people do not have access to therapy. You are a big help

Thank you for the tips. When journaling I use text to speech in my notes app instead of writing so I get it all out, or I just take a voice recording as well that I come back to listen to. Typing or writing I can’t keep up with the thoughts that come up. Hopefully this helps someone else, learn to love the journey

Simply thank you 🙏

Thank you for sharing these coping skills. I love that you mentioned the uncomfortable feelings get lighter each time they come up if we dealt with them correctly. Wonderful video!

thank you for the video it’s really eye opening

thank you for this video :) i had never heard of an emotion chart before

I've also been going to therapy and I loved this! It really was a good summary of this journey :)

wow!! Thanks for sharing this amazing knowledge of yours! I experienced ptsd as a young age, and started my therapy in my teens. I had ups and downs in my early 20s then recently I found a peace in my mind. Since I had my therapy young, luckily I embodied the way to process my emotions but never was able to explain exactly “how” to someone who needs help. I got to understand how I do it haha by your video! You are spreading so much love, thanks again❤️

Needed this. Thank you 🙏

Writing something down doesnt mean its gonna manifest. More you write the chaos down, less power it has over you. Basically you put your thoughts under objective analisis by writing them down or saying them out loud. I use to think i will manifest bad things if i say them or give them much thought, but it doesnt work that way. Its the intent that manifests. Your intent is to get to know you, be there for you and have a catharsis, this is what it is. This is what you manifest. We dont manifest what we say, this is media gurus bs they go around saying and actually causing fear. This is blocking your from releasing emotions. Its a real block. Most emotions are blocked by fear so you then need to deal with fear first. Write those thoughts down over and over again. This is how they lose power. Here we manifest what we fundemantally believe in, not what we say thought by thought. And if we believe something that doesnt suit us to manifest, the best way for it to lose power over you is shedding light on it and writing it down. This why it doesnt need to manifest for you to give it attention. The reason bad stuff manifests is because we refuse to become aware and then the reflection needs to become so aware we have no choice but to face it. The quality of our life is dependent on the willingness to face the negative emotions and thoughts when they are pebbles, so they dont turn into rocks we have to dig ourselves under. You had no support processing your emotions and feel unsafe to do it. My upbringing left the same issue, but sooner you realize it sooner you will be able to dive deeper into the emotion so it can be processed without resistance. In the meantime its a good idea to hold yourself during the fear without trying to think of anything. Lately its been said naming the emotion does nothing but take you from feeling to thinking, which is a form of resistance. Feel and process without the need to name it. That way it reveals itself at the core even or.

I'm glad RU-vid randomly recommends me this video and I clicked it and watched it til the end. It's very organized and helpful. As now I'm waiting for my first therapy session, I'm gonna try these tips to help me go through these weeks of waiting. Thank you for the sharing!

Thank you this was very helpful !! 😊

thank you for not gatekeeping 🙏 youre so awesome 🫶🏼🫶🏼 love the shirt btw xd

Thank you so much i really needed this it really helped me❤️❤️❤️

this makes a lot of sense. i've had an anxiety attack for a week straight. three days out of the week i felt fine because i had tons of busy things and distractions. once i was done with the activities, the feelings came right back. in the past i have always bottled things up for many years, afraid they would be a burden if i shared them. thank you for the advice! it is scary how much all these little things that hurt emotionally bottle up and act out on your physical body.

This was actually so helpful to listen to… I’ve only started thinking about emotions this way very recently (like this year) and the way you put it all together makes a lot of sense. Bookmarking for sure

Thank you for the nice reminders

What a treat in my feed, thank you

Just found you less than 10 seconds your voice instantly calmed me the title instantly caught my attention and it's right on time from a question I had within myself. Love you Girl ❤

I really like the tip about looking at the emotion chart. I often find it hard to articulate what emotions I’m feeling, so I’ll definitely have to try it and see if it helps me express what I’m feeling in a clearer manner to those I talk to😊 Thank you!

Thank you so much for this

i saw it at the exact moment i needed it

I have to go all the way back to this video, to tell you how much it has changed my last few weeks... I have practiced the 5 minutes every day completely in solitude and OMG... being able to hear my thoughts and feel my body is such a life changer. I even made a mindmap to summarize your video and drew the whole emotions chart down in my notebook haha. Anw... just want to say thank you sm for sharing your knowledge here online

loved this, thank you

such a great video you deserve more subscribers, thank you

i love this video thank you❤️ i will come back to it 🤍

I am autistic and I had bullies for a family. This is so helpful for my healing process, I've been learning as much as I can to avoid avoiding the difficult subject of feelings. Its been a journey of self discovery from learning that I had emotions at age 24, to age 31 where the best ways to process them is my top priority once I found that there is a whole world I've missed out on since I can remember.

Really needed this❤

this was really helpful, ty!!

I subscribed. This was surprisingly calming, I know all that advice but sometimes I just shut down and stop processing everything, not my feelings and not my thoughts. I'm a young teen but I've been going through so much of identity crisis this year and displaying wide variety of symptoms, in the next two weeks I'm hoping I'll be finally visiting a therapist but I'm still trying to work on it on my own. Thank you for sharing, this helped.

Step 1 is always the hardest for me. I'm much better at recognizing my emotions after months of retrospection, but at the time, I just get lost in the sauce. Thinking about the concept of the problem and the solution are not separate entities, so once you identify the problem, the solution becomes clear. Once I am able to recognize that I'm lost in the sauce, the solution (i.e. healthy coping mechanism) is not so difficult to grasp. Thanks for being a really great friend to us!💞

Wow great video! I will definitely be coming back to this. There’s so many coping mechanisms I have in order to not feel things when it comes to certain people from the past. At this point I’m beyond over it and want to move on, but of course how can I when I’m not actually processing the grief.

Your voice is so soothing! This video was awesome!

video legit made my day :) ty

I’ve been struggling with feelings of hopelessness, depression, and worthlessness for two years now, over some stupid guy, that didn’t give a shit about me…. I’m finally ready to start healing and doing better… I look forward to watching all your videos & improving myself however possible. Thank you, in advance 💜

Thank you so much!

This is very helpful! Thank you for sharing ❤

This was so interesting! So well done🙂