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How to Shake Off Your Insecurities and Walk With Confidence | Relationship Theory 

Relationship Theory
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Do you struggle with low confidence when talking to a potential love interest? Do you find yourself wallowing in your insecurities, telling yourself that you’re not good enough for them? Well, now is the time to stop. You need to suck it up, own your insecurities, and shift you focus towards positivity and confidence so that you can develop a happy and healthy relationship. On this episode of Relationship Theory, Tom and Lisa Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore the importance of confidence in any relationship and how you can move away from a place of insecurity and towards a place of positivity. They discuss how to talk to women when lacking confidence, ways to develop confidence, how all of us have insecurities and ways to overcome them, why you shouldn’t obsess over your insecurities, and how to shift your focus onto productive and positive thoughts.
SHOW NOTES:
Talking | Tom and Lisa discuss the best skills needed when talking to a future partner. [0:13]
Confidence | Tom and Lisa reveal the importance of confidence when talking to women. [1:55]
Insecurities | Tom and Lisa discuss insecurities and why you shouldn’t obsess over them. [4:02]
Fine Lines | Tom shares the differences between owning and obsessing over insecurities. [5:55]
Emotions | Lisa shares a story of when emotions began taking hold of her insecurities. [10:31]
Focus | Tom discusses the importance of shifting your focus towards positive thoughts. [12:46]
QUOTES:
“It is okay, be insecure about that thing. Don’t wallow in it and take action about it.” [7:14]
“Absolutely no good behavior comes from obsessively thinking about something that you’re insecure about it. So do something to address or move on.” [10:23]
“Don’t approach things to want to get the compliment by putting yourself down.” [12:04]
FOLLOW TOM:
Instagram: bit.ly/2s9lU90
RU-vid: bit.ly/2KWanAC
Podcast: spoti.fi/2xEloFL
FOLLOW LISA:
Instagram: bit.ly/2TIsoKh
RU-vid: bit.ly/2IAbTcH
Podcast: spoti.fi/2IEajGW0

Опубликовано:

 

5 ноя 2020

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Комментарии : 67   
@Di-kb1vb
@Di-kb1vb 3 года назад
On the "fake it until you make it" bit, I also prefer to use another word. For me, it's "manifest until you feel your best". When I display a certain thought or feeling through action enough times, I definitely start to believe it.
@ciarakouao-bile9920
@ciarakouao-bile9920 3 года назад
Yeah I think he was right to pick on that word-fake. It makes people think they’re lying, and not just to the world but worse, to themselves. There’s nothing fake or deceitful about putting in effort to focus on being something better. That’s actually quite admirable. I also love his tag line-confidence is competence. It ties here, “by focusing on a new way of being” you’re becoming competent to grow your confidence in an area you’re just not there YET with.
@robertlopez6092
@robertlopez6092 2 года назад
Everyone is insecure. Allow people to be insecure. If people judge you for your insecurities, F them! The only way to remove an insecurity is by addressing the need that creates the insecurity not by ignoring the need. Insecurity is not sexy but no one is sexy 24/7. There’s no problem being human.
@maceyr.6583
@maceyr.6583 2 года назад
Period!
@carolinebrenning178
@carolinebrenning178 2 года назад
Tearing up a little, lol
@Alphacentauri819
@Alphacentauri819 Год назад
Love this! Yes!!! Addressing the core issues, wounds, needs that drive the insecurity is absolutely necessary. A facade of being "ok" is encouraging the modifying/editing/pretending, that more of us are trying to get away from. I've done that long enough and it is a self betrayal to pretend I am not struggling when I am. That's akin to telling a child who is scared/hurt to pretend they are ok, because that is more "cool"...which actually, is what we often do. This guy often fails with his relationship advice.
@immers2410
@immers2410 2 года назад
Being vulnerable is sexy, but being insecure is a turn off. Got it
@paula-elizabeth
@paula-elizabeth 3 года назад
Hey Lisa & Tom - when someone isn’t “riddled” with insecurities and it’s just the “normal level” their vulnerability about their insecurities demonstrates strength and is attractive. - People unable to be vulnerable show up as falsely confident - arrogant - and self focused. This is highly unattractive because it is cold , plus a relationship is 2-way - Not 1-way. 😃💫
@MindNow
@MindNow 3 года назад
*By first recognizing ur insecurities and then WORKING on them. It takes time and practice, but know that U R ENOUGH!* 🙏
@NoahAvery96
@NoahAvery96 3 года назад
One thing I got from this video is that both the “nice guy” mindset and the “jerk” mindset come from a place of insecurity and fear. And that learning to be in an assertive self reliant mindset is essential to overcoming this fear. Thanks
@ellesab4873
@ellesab4873 3 года назад
I think Tom said it. The fine line is excess. And balance is key. Identifying your insecurities but having the courage to face them and find solutions is important. Being stuck and wallowing and filtering life through them is the downfall
@CherylMuir
@CherylMuir 3 года назад
Sending big love and respect to all working on their relationships ❤️
@ciggytwiggy
@ciggytwiggy Год назад
My boyfriend is 5'6. Not the tallest guy ever but he is so secure about himself and thats why I find him so attractive. He's not arrogant nor bothered by any external standards.
@Kuruflower
@Kuruflower 2 года назад
I believe there is confidence in being able to be vulnerable.
@sidneyhursh1972
@sidneyhursh1972 3 года назад
The communication between you two is GOALS
@roijenrodriguez8188
@roijenrodriguez8188 3 года назад
Sometimes you have a downward, uncontrolled spiral when your insecurities make you 'not sexy', fake it ' til you make it. I like that and agree.
@jgambler1188
@jgambler1188 3 года назад
Glad I found this page, you guys are great. Been dealing with slight retroactive jealously as of late, and it's not a great feeling. Some good stuff here, cheers.
@sarahkormendy2381
@sarahkormendy2381 3 года назад
Faith it til you make it!
@TornTech1
@TornTech1 3 года назад
the superman pose changed my life.... honestly! put on a powerful song(R-Kelly - The Greatest is my go-to!) and then stand there, with your hands on your side. legs wide apart and stand up straight like a super hero... close your eyes, and for a moment, for the duration of the song, believe you are that superhero! It's proven to work!
@theboudoirbarber
@theboudoirbarber 2 года назад
My boyfriend is “short” 5’ 7” haha. And I love it. But I’m 4’ 11” so he’s still tall to me!!! His confidence and charming personality pulls him women. Never had trouble. This is such great info!
@thewealthysoul5340
@thewealthysoul5340 3 года назад
Lisa u look so good in this hair style 😊
@sunvavachi
@sunvavachi 3 года назад
Ya she looks beautiful here.
@theianaitomato
@theianaitomato 3 года назад
I was gonna say the same! but she's always so beautiful to me!
@judithmoors6870
@judithmoors6870 3 года назад
Hahahah Tom's answer is the best! Like really! He is so right. Short guys aren't attractive, until they become really good at something and become succesfull. You explain it so clearly. Thanks guys for these videos!
@karolinawyrzykowska3574
@karolinawyrzykowska3574 3 года назад
Thank you for your videos. Have a lovely day.
@hayleyduckworth9779
@hayleyduckworth9779 3 года назад
Funny you on this topic because I had a moment this week with my husband where I felt he doesnt compliment me on my looks or if I did my make up nice or what not. My friends said there partners mostly notice an it does make u feel good if ur partner notices, so when I approached him about it he was like but u always look beautiful. I said it is nice if you say it now and then. When I said that the tears streamed down my face an I was so tearful an hurt he didnt notice or has notice in awhile. So yeh it makes a big impact if ur partner says hey babes u look gorgeous today ...
@TheMcGloneCode
@TheMcGloneCode 2 года назад
Confidence despite insecurities is courage
@monkeytime9851
@monkeytime9851 2 месяца назад
I am 5'4". I am not rich. I am average looking. None of this forms my self worth. It has never been a problem for me and I can attract women. What he said is right.
@MsEyalgat
@MsEyalgat 3 года назад
Lisa your accent is the best ❤️‼️
@jamesfrancis303
@jamesfrancis303 Год назад
Learn the difference between weakness and vulnerability.. no one wants a weak partner. However the path to true intimacy is through shared vulnerability, acceptance and building trust.
@mathews0618
@mathews0618 Год назад
Shes describing vulnerability and not insecurity. Being vulnerable about insecurities shows confidence.
@biggim3265
@biggim3265 3 года назад
A woman will always pick up on fake confidence.. :) if there is attraction and some sort of connection vulnerability is actually quiet sweet - especially if you discover it comes with a brain and good character, love the new hair Lisa.
@Erica-pk5lf
@Erica-pk5lf 2 года назад
Confidence in your insecurities! 🙌
@theRelationshipCode
@theRelationshipCode 3 года назад
Interesting perspective on this but a lot of men do not know how to get certain they think its having an answer or fixing it.
@mrs.patricewhyte5024
@mrs.patricewhyte5024 2 года назад
Thanks…you so much…because I almost said out loud to my husband…I gotta lose this damn weight..but he has never ever once said anything negative about my weight ,actually he’s loved it..and I think he’s not bothered because I was still strutting around and being sexy to him aka being confident with my weight gain…but now I want to lose this weight for me..but I will still keep my same confidence while I’m doing it and not ask him one question about how my butt looks 😎
@user-rj2zc4bk2e
@user-rj2zc4bk2e Год назад
Confidence on who you really are … very attractive
@Angell_Lee
@Angell_Lee 2 года назад
The girl is right on point!
@jasminemariedarling
@jasminemariedarling 3 года назад
Holy shit this video helped me, thanks 👍🙏
@ninjaspam2000
@ninjaspam2000 3 года назад
Model it till you become it!
@zhoumei6
@zhoumei6 2 года назад
Fine line is being conscious of them instead of being in the mode of insecurity.
@zhoumei6
@zhoumei6 2 года назад
The focus is trying to make self feel good 😊
@zhoumei6
@zhoumei6 2 года назад
And share the good feelings.
@AK-xl7xz
@AK-xl7xz 3 года назад
Confidence comes from competence 💣💣💣 Be a learner!!!
@phoenixrising8007
@phoenixrising8007 3 года назад
I totally disagree that all women want a confident man, I personally find an authentically shy guy sweet & endearing. (Covert narcs do not apply)
@allaboardthegravytrain5987
@allaboardthegravytrain5987 3 года назад
I love how Lisa is so strong and loyal to herself that she would never consider showing any insecurity cause it's unattractive
@the_dirac_field6519
@the_dirac_field6519 3 года назад
when he talked about guys being 'short' I was thinking he referred to sexual performance. Honestly.
@bruceschmidt2500
@bruceschmidt2500 3 года назад
What hand brace is that? Does it help with carpal tunnel as expected?
@TinaSotis
@TinaSotis 3 года назад
I have terrible insecurities around trust because of a destructive dynamic between my dad and I. It's really hard to keep silent about it with my boyfriend. I keep worrying he's going to leave me. Man, it's hard to shut up about that. Do I let my terror of abandonment scream inside my head so he doesn't hear it? How can I act normal around him?
@krystiesolfyre5340
@krystiesolfyre5340 3 года назад
I think Tina, the goal is awareness. Know how to identify when that thought comes up and where it comes from, it is separate from i you our boyfriend. It’s having that space to process that.
@omosedeayinde2409
@omosedeayinde2409 3 года назад
“FORCE it ‘til you make it”
@ericafelipep9906
@ericafelipep9906 2 года назад
Be confident about your insecurities.
@glitch2479
@glitch2479 3 года назад
👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
@magdap28
@magdap28 3 года назад
I personally don't like overly confident men
@krystiesolfyre5340
@krystiesolfyre5340 3 года назад
Yeah, quite confidence is sexy.
@cassylangley
@cassylangley 3 года назад
I don't judge men for being short, coz I'm short the fact that my partner was average height or just under for a man was actually attractive. 6ft men aren't attractive to me anymore (I did once have a boyfriend once was 6.4!) because practically it's actually awkward lol 😅
@labradormcgraw
@labradormcgraw 2 года назад
If I were a wealthy man, Such things I'd give to thee: All gauges and guises Of umpteen surprises, And wealthy I'll someday be. If I were a clever man, Such things I'd build for thee: All manner of modes Of humble abodes, And clever I'll someday be. If I were a travelling man, Such things I'd bring to thee: All features and faces Of faraway places, And travelled I'll someday be. If I were a braver man, Such things I'd promise thee: All valour in verses Of tethering curses Will someday be set free.
@user-bn4tc2qq9h
@user-bn4tc2qq9h 2 года назад
Hmm, as a shy girl I like the shy awkward guys. Different strokes for different folks
@sandybrown3879
@sandybrown3879 3 года назад
Tom is right . Dont say fake it. Jesus said " ask your what you want, and give thanks, believing you have already recieved it". Our brain and body then goes into action to manifest what is yours from the moment you believed you recieved it . Many Christian's waste their lives waiting for God to do a miracle to give them what they ask for, But it seems Jesus's words here , are simply a law of how the human mind , body and perhaps spirit work.
@milkbread5036
@milkbread5036 2 года назад
well said :)
@mlouis7
@mlouis7 2 года назад
Have standards on what the woman has to bring to the table. Simple as that.
@macleanclassics
@macleanclassics 2 года назад
The term" fake it till you make it " sucks.... try : practice it, till you master it.
@DavidkirklandFinance
@DavidkirklandFinance 2 года назад
Assuming a new role vs fake it till….
@jasmines.6325
@jasmines.6325 2 года назад
some women do want the shy guy
@maureenkeogh5778
@maureenkeogh5778 Год назад
Why Tom do you have to swear so much, it takes away from what you are saying
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