What women need to understand is men who disrespect you, disrespect themselves and have low self-esteem. In turn, we tend to attract aspect of ourselves we need to work on. Learn the lesson and move on.
Applied to anyone who mistreats you, not only in a romantic sense, also for family and platonic friends. If you realize you have been mistreated, communicated to them that this behaviour hurt you, and they are not willing to change or even take accountability, walk away and let them learn that there are consequences to their behaviour. Trust me - you are better off alone than with people who repeatedly hurt you without a second thought and don't even apologise for it once. I've done this with my only sister and with my best friend of over ten years when I was not willing to let them walk all over me anymore, it hurt like crazy for several months because I still love them in a way but now I am much happier without their influence on my life.
He’s trying his BS a manipulation tactics on you because he’s interested in you, and a lot of rnen who are interested in you will do ANYTHING but just be a decent person, work on themselves or introspect. And every time, without fail, they will try weak fear-mongering tactics to try to ‘get’ you, thinking it’ll scare you into thinking you can’t enjoy or handle being single and trying to convince you they’re such a catch (spoiler alert: they’re never the catch. You know this, other women know this, even they know this - that’s why it’s always taken that pursue women and complaining about being single or rejected and why most women don’t pursue men).
It’s true. Happened with my first bf/fiancé. I was willing to walk away, he told me he couldn’t give me what i deserved or expected. Immediately no, we went our separate ways. He definitely learned a hard lesson after that. Yes it hurt since we were engaged, but you have to know your worth. If I would have stayed in that relationship I would have been ruined. Young and dumb 😅 But hindsight is 20/20
I think same applys for men. If they treat u bad, don't complain, don't put them on a pedestral and say they are perfect, don't be too clingy and walk away if they don't appreciate ur effort. Yeah, communication is sometimes difficult Have a nice day✌️
Honestly, some men never stop mistreating you. Sometimes, they mistreat you more out of an ego boost, or because they feel rejected, than anything else. If he is the type to mistreat others for any reason at all, don't interact more than you absolutely have to. Don't bother with him/her as a friend, acquaintance, or anything else. Sometimes you have to tolerate them (ex. coworker, fitness instructor or other things), but ignore them as much as possible, and stick with polite, but distant. It is not your fault that they want to be assholes.
When i first my ex I noticed smth off about em and was about to let them go. I was so strong back then. Then he lied and i got attached. And we went on and off for 2 years. Not worth it honestly
Ok, may be I need this before but from now onwards I make sure I don't do that mistake again, just bcz I am emotionally attached to them, I will not let him do it again. ❤
This happened to me. I was interested in my neighbour and she took my kindness as weakness. For 3 months she was stringing me along for my attention and validation. Used me as an option to run some errands. Then I thought Why I'm doing this when I'm not even attractive to her. She's just using me as a option or. Side hustle. I was heartbroken as I was naive about these games. Withdrew and went back to my old self. I learnt that I need to learn some games before getting in that sh it. Long way ahead
How can you be heart broken if you didn't love this person, and we're not even attracted to them? I think your ego was bruised is probably a better way of putting it. And yes you deserve much better than she treated you
I don’t think you need to learn games, you need to learn not to play other peoples games. Don’t play games, period. You and your future partner deserve better.
Agree but can we stop blaming the women for getting attached? a lot of the time this happens because men love bomb. women (everyone) usually grow up without good information on healthy relationships and how it's properly built
This. The constant on and off button we get from men just tricks our brains The second we feel ready to leave, they change up and say kind words and reel you back in. Only to stop giving you attention once more. Ugh. Just one healthy man... Please? (I say this as an extremely broken woman, which feels ironic)
Giving these ultimatums is trying to forcibly change your date / partner. Old saying but true about what happens when a couple marry. - The woman thinks he will change, but he doesn't. The man thinks she won't change, but she does.
Agree 100%! I’m willing to give SOME second chances for CERTAIN things(for something like rescheduling a date, or turning up late) , but if they do it a second time…I’m out of there (will explain to them the reason though, in a measured, kind yet firm way
if they can't even make the effort most important first then walk away and mean it. If he gives them another chance they'll figure you were just bluffing. When you are bargaining with vendors then put the item down start walking away and if they call you back then you can bargain. It's almost like that, but not quite. They like to play games and they will see what they can get away with the next time. So you can waste your own time if you want, not me
why do they do not know the values of not misbehaving and making effort for the relationship, why is it usually the women teaching or not teaching them how to value her
This is treating people like children. - Do what I say, or I'm going to do X - . Complaining will work if it is made to most men, they will listen. Threat to walk away is not needed. If threats to walk away are made with every complaint this will make the guy think you don't really value the relationship, he will feel bullied, and he will be more likely to end it. On the other hand if the man is a type who would only respond if a threat to walk away is made, then he is not worth it and you should walk away.
The sad part is that some people in dating behave like children. I hate doing this because I especially hate giving people ultimatums or feel like they have to feel obligated to do something so I feel better but at the end of the day its best to not be pushy when possible even if this is needed at times. Like this is a person youll potentially be stuck with the rest of your life if theyve shown theyre capable of meeting your needs so some behaviors are better addressed sooner than later.
@@gatorssbm Agree, kinda. Thing with ultimatums, they are always bad for a relationship. If a partner has to have their behavior modified early on by ultimatums, they will resent it, better leave that partner and find one more compatible with ones own needs, without ultimatums. Cos what if the partner given ultimatums started giving ultimatums back? Just not going to head for a joyous relationship. Some relationships are not worth having, and some things are intolerable, for example, violence. If a partner beats the other partner, the other partner should be entitled to give the ultimatum, don't do that again if you do I will leave. But essentially the relationship requiring such an ultimatum is already toxic, I would say don't mess with the ultimatum just leave anyway. My position comes from my own experience, where my ex would deliver ultimatums over things that just did not really matter, but she had to have her way, and if I did not comply, the punishment would be severe. In the end she did not get the desired result because while she thought her method was getting her everything she wanted, my own life was so miserable that I left. She now has to live with herself, and is the miserable one.
@@alastair1955it’s not an ultimatum. That would be “if you don’t plan our date I’m dumping you” it’s “if our expectations don’t align we don’t need to keep dating “
@@Tatiana-oz2fn I agree, if you are not compatible, cease dating. Obviously. Just, that is not what was presented in the video. What she said was you force the guy to change his behavior by giving ultimatums. My view is that while that might SEEM to work short term, longer term it will cause resentment and affect the quality of the relationship, not just to the detriment of the man, but also to the woman. If you still think it's a good idea, see how you would feel about getting ultimatums back. Think it would work for you?
@alastair1955 She never mentioned anything about forcing anyone to behave any certain way with ultimatums. She even says at the end of the video he can go his separate way, their values don't align. No force no ultimatums. What she is talking about is having boundaries. These are very different. Ultimatums are trying to force someone to do what you want. Boundaries say ... I expect people I interact with to behave in a certain manner and if they don't I won't interact with them as a consequence. I'll find someone else, which is exactly what should happen.
Thank you and yet I am saddened that you didn’t really give us real advice, you told us in the end we move on… that is exactly what I DO NOT want at all. I WANT THE GUY!!!! Otherwise really helpful points until that segment 🌹
Um..but isn't this technically saying a word? Multiple words to explain why you want to stop the cycle. Sometimes I don't think men even care, they will either beg it or just ignore the message. Sometimes it's best to just disappear.
Lol why did you get attached in the first place ? It's because there's something about him that you liked. Now you want to change him into something more convenient. Wonder how that will work.
