How to Spot a Narcissist Signs to Watch For 

My oldest brother is a narcist, so much damage.Blocked all his social media and now his phone number. Always contacted me if he needed something than i was useful, always bullying and wanted attention .. Get rid of these creeps people even if it''s family !

No curiousity no empathy disdain passive aggressive arrogance

I never knew from one moment to the next which direction he was going to come from. His accusations, lies, temper. He was exhausting.

So, leaving is the only option. I get it. Thank you.

Thank you Kenny! I didn’t realize what a victim I was playing. After listening to this, I really had to examine MY part, and my part was staying with them.

I’m going to make myself a priority--whatever that looks like. I will find a way to rise above this

68 years old l. Still susceptible to narcissists. Learning. Great video. Thank you.

Thanks. Had to deal with one that fit all this criteria; wanted to be in charge, blame others for his mistakes, outright lies, superiority, etc. "I don't care about what you think" would enrage him. ❤

Oh my gosh... did that ever hit home. The bit about the childhood wounds. Then the letting go, it was the hardest part for me, and countering the lingering confusion. Thank you so much. I'm only months into freedom and still fighting attempts to hoover me back in, but you have helped me so much today. ❤

I am 76 years old, and I have had a lot of narcissists in my life. I couldn't figure out why I was attracting so many. I was in therapy for approximately 7 years, with 3 different therapists. The first one told me that my family background was one of the worst she'd ever heard of in her practice, so it makes sense that I continued to bring these demons into my life, because both of my parents were narcissists. Her diagnosis of my family was validating. I was also married to a monster of a man, who love bombed me into the relationship. I managed to get a divorce and I detached myself from both of my parents. I didn't attend either of their funerals. I have become more and more savvy about who I choose to be in my life, and listening to this video was extremely helpful. When you're used to not getting your emotional needs met, it's hard to practice self care. Nevertheless, I'm much healthier than I used to be. What's particularly difficult for me to do is to not feel shame about the crappy treatment I allowed in the past. Playing the victim allows me to make excuses for not accomplishing the goals I want to achieve. It's allowing me to procrastinate on building a new life for myself. I'm determined to move forward in order to live up to my potential as a writer and a human being. I spend too much time in the past, which keeps me stuck. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom.

You want to see narcissists in action? Go to any local Christian church and join their ministry in some capacity. Will blow your mind! My only question is, why does God allow narcissists to run churches... Very strange. Any input on that will be appreciated.

Yessss! The tilt of her head and that smirk on her face. That's my mom anytime she finally pushes me to frustration. I'm INFJ...I can read faces. My family sucks.

I’m 70. This was the best content I’ve seen on narcissism. I started at birth with a malignant narcissist mother and enabling stepfather. Had this information been available in my early life, it would have helped me so much!! I wandered alone, married narcissistic men, trying to understand my life with no understanding of anything. Counselors did even know this stuff! Bless you, sir. The more we are educated, the better chance we have of getting better. ❤ I think I’m still hurting, even now, because I retreat to being alone. I trust no one. Life has shown me that I’m the only one I can count on. I don’t want it to be that way but it is the truth that that is how I am.

With this situation, it saddens me deeply because I have witnessed the dynamics in three (3) generations as it is inherited. Yes, the trouble and damage it has caused, it is very overwhelming. It took me ages to finally realize that my father had it, my sibling has it and only recently i discovered that one of the adult children displays the trait quite profoundly. It took me ages to finally realize and recover from the turmoil that I experienced when growing up. It was hard, bloody hard.

you can't have a conversation with them without them trying to come across as superior no matter the subject or their knowledge.

Great video very chilling because you’re so 100% correct Yep I dated a narcissist for nine months big nightmare people stay away from these type of people learn the symptoms and the red flags We have the ultimate power like you talk about we determine who’s in our life don’t be naïve don’t be taken for a ride don’t be manipulated understand who you’re with and what’s real and what’s not!! take control of your life!! no relationship is better than a bad one Don’t be a victim!!! 🌈❤

I love repeating myself 3 times because the Narciccist is in thier head.I spent 25 years working in behaviour Modification and brain damaged people.The psychology I learned in College was kindergarden compared to this mind blowing educational video.THANK YOU for your service to save people from the monsters.Knowledge is power.

I love how you hold everyone responsible in a relationship. I have always done so too, in my mind. There is a reason why I keep attracting and being attracted to the same type of toxic person. And I need to learn more about MY part that I play in these relationships in order to heal and change my thinking. Learning about narcissism is only fighting half or less of the real battle for a more happy life. The victim role is counterproductive to personal growth. Your channel is the only one I've found that thinks like I do: what was my role and why? How can I recognize and take responsibility for my toxic patterns that I keep repeating to my own detriment?

Thanks for the great information. I find that part of the recovery from all the ego-bashing is to become skilled at recognising narcissists, and if avoidance is impossible (a family member) , learn to predict their head games and outwit them.

Once I understood and I was working on getting out, I started doing things that would trigger the Narc. It kept him in a perpetual state of irritation. It drove him away long enough to give me some peace. I never felt safe, and I wasn’t, but it gave me space. It only took a few months away to start healing (hands stop shaking, inability to sleep, panic attacks and facial ticks, profuse apologizing) all stopped.

Take the big E, go no contact before he destroys you. I discarded a narcissist and I felt a big relief, a liberation on my part. He still tries to connect thru text messages but I don’t give him the right for information. I just simply reply with an emoticon.

Thank you. I am a 29 year old male living with my parents. My mother is a hopelessly addicted fool to my dad's narcissistic abuse dating back to way before my birth. I am currently at a stage where I am trying to gather enough money to get out on my own in a studio apartment somewhere on the west coast. The damage, manipulation, disrespect, hurt, confusion and many other things experienced in a narcissistic household truly are devastating. It is incredibly hard to explain to others what it is lie if they have not experienced it.

you know you're being gaslit when you start a conversation or indulge in one and just asking yourself "wtf did I even bother, what is even happening" You have to get out, lowering your expectations and trying to cope is a death sentence. They will run you ragged-

I’m currently learning how to meet my own needs and all the needs of my children, due to the partners I chose. Staying in the reality that it’s %100 my responsibility and is an opportunity to learn and grow. If a need is met, that I did not provide or manage it’s a bonus!! The counter parenting and the gaslighting is still hard. I’m still learning how to navigate that.

They often call themselves empaths or claim to have a special intuitive gift or supernatural power. A lot of pseudo spiritual new-agers are narcs.

Hi Kenny, thanks for a frank talk 🦜. My sign with narcs was ALWAYS that I couldn't breath anymore 😮. Bless you 🙏

Your words totally confirms what I’ve been searching about this! I’m already separated for 6 months and taking care of myself with help through therapy and seeking comfort and healing through Scriptures ….thank you very much for your help

The smirk of admiration and pride when they destroy you, and you being you, react w emotion(ie cry). Thats the time something really stuck into the pit of my stomach that I couldnt deny anymore or justified it anymore. Also, you are so right on boundaries. The day I started placing boundaries, the rage came out right after the shaming didnt work and I stuck to my boundaries. The problem I have now is my son, isnt even in my life anymore, yet he is fixated on still trying to destroy me. He is using blasphemy my name and character now, to anyone that will listen and believe him. I constantly reem myself w the what if I just continued to take it? Could I have taken the shame and kept the peace? Maybe, he is right, I am the problem? Maybe I am the Narc? Maybe I caused him to become this deamon because I am a closet deamon? It is so destructive, and I have to force myself to see the truth through the haze. I watch the videos I have, and the memories I still have that keep replaying in my head, just to keep ahold of the truth. I find that even when I cut him off finally, I dont allow myself peace. I am trying to do the work and figure out why I deep down dont believe I truely deserve love and peace. Why ai allowed the abuse to go on and take blame for what wasnt mine. I have sat my son down and apologized, and sincere apologie, If whatever I did in his child hood made him feel abandoned or hurt, that I was sorry. I am not perfect, but I wanted us to come together and start to create a motherly son bond. He always agreed, and had me fooled w his small tear in his eyes. I put my trust in him again, and it wasnt long that he broke it again, and when I begged him why he did it again? He promised me last time, didnt he remember? It was always "I didnt say that". Or my fav line " maybe thats how you thought I meant it, but I didnt confirm thats how I meant it" What does that even mean? Who thinks about wording things like that? When it went to physical abuse, I decided to take the steps out no matter the result. I couldnt continue to stay in the abuse anymore. I have been pointed the finger at, lied about, slandered, judged and condemmed on those lies. If I am honest it sucks, and I cry because it hurts me, but I cant revert back, and I regret nothing about finally seeing that I dont need to take on others consequences, its not my actions to speak for.

About how they want you to dress, you triggered a memory of an old girlfriend who gave me a sweater. It was nice and I liked it except that it had a little aligator on the chest which I thought was kind of silly (I think Lacoste was pretty new to scene back then) and I carefully removed it, zero trace. Holy smokes was she ever mad, raged on about how much she paid, how it made the sweater what it was, how could I be so stupid. Years later I was out with a friend and ran into her and as you do I introduced her to my buddy to which she said: oh, my name isn't Beverly anymore, I changed it to Athena. I remember a kind of dead silence at that point, she was lucky we were polite enough to not burst out laughing, that came later. Too funny. We don't get to have too many light moments with those toxic types if at all. Great video. Peace!

Kenny, glad you’ve been a part of this journey! Locked in on my hobbies and career. Dating a peaceful person! And will keep taking responsibility for myself and my actions. Thank you!

My mother fits this, and I’m pretty sure she is a covert narcissist. It’s 😢, and I now realize that not only does she not love me, she never has and isn’t even capable to love me the way most parents love their children.

thanks for sharing

Thank you so, so much... this video is definitely the best I have ever listened to. I have been trying to cope with the different features you mentionned for years and I will go with your advices so I can save and upgrade whatever is left in me... thank you again and again. All the best, barbara

OMG - I got shivers down my spine when my ex came up to me the moment I was driving away for good. He leaned into my car window and told me he ran into his 2nd ex-wife that very day. He had a huge smile on his face with a look of enjoyment mixed with superiority as his eyes glinted and said with enthusiasm that she was toothless and homeless and actually asked him for money. He felt like he had won! His first ex-wife died of cancer a few years back, and he has even wished for me to end up dead at my own hands or his.

That was awesome! Thank you!❤🎉

Many thanks for your guidance, Kenny!

You have learned the hard way kenny and have become wiser being with a narc fooling you for some time but learning from it..and it includes me.. we live and learn

Im really lucky to have a kind and empathetic husband. Sometimes he doesnt hear things I say or loses focus. But his heart is always in tune and patient. I notice the difference after dating people in the past, one whom was narcissistic. I think my husband may have adhd or some attention deficicit that sneaks up on him at times. Hes a genuine loving and consistant person. Just struggles with focus, and he did at school too.

agree, i have one malignant and one covert narc in my old family, they always think they are rich and famous despite empty pocket$. Looks, dress, type of cars, 'face value' are the most important to them. they will test every border, when you get angry their favorite line is 'i'm just joking, why are you so petty?'. gaslighting and triangulation are common, their temper could easily explode whenever they didn't get what they want, just like a toddler. In rare family restaurant gathering, they could say things like 'these food looks so cheap, are they for human consumption?' and threw big tantrum when the waiter is slow to serve them.

Amazing insights and 100 Percent true. Thank you so much! You are a true empath. 🧡

Thanks for this video. 9:24 The narcissist can also start recording conversations to use against you when needed. That’s reactive abuse and quite a bad thing.

I remember when we were both grown and my sister started to confess to me all of the things she did to me. I turned to her and said, "You mean you didn't know that I knew what you were doing?" It has been 25 years and she still has not spoken to me.

This broke my heart. God help me!!! Thank you Kenny

I am in the process of recovering but I need professional help, which I will search for, as soon as my grandson gets back to school because now, I care for him. At the moment, I have to deal with siblings who I believe are narcissists. They are very intrusive in my life and I generally fall for their antics and, later on, I realize I have shared too much information about my life with them. I believe their “genius” comes from demonic inputs that they use in order to cause distress in others. After I talk to them, I experience exhaustion and confusion and I am often questioning my actions, my abilities, and my sense of purpose and of common sense and decency. It has been a life long quest for self awareness. To change myself into a person who God intend for me.

Excellent video Kenny!!👏🏻👍🏻

You are a wonderful teacher, sir. Love your content!

Thank you! Please keep educating us.

I’m about 3mo since my divorce from a narcissist. This video made me laugh (at the truths), made me cry (at the truths), and validated what I knew…it WAS grandiose of me to think I could change him. What a dumbass I was. I did do exactly what you said…I tried to turn it around and make SOMETHING about me…which just made him worse. I finally had to end it.

This is absolutely excellent I can’t believe you covered all aspects really well done .😊

that is very helpful.......thank you.

thanks Kenny for the great podcast!

So true! Love you Kenni! As a perfectly imperfect person I still ask what I did wrong….but thank you for this! ❤

thank you Kenny

POOR THING IM GLAD YOUR OUT I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR VIDEOS KNOWLEDGE AND PERSONALITY THANKYOU KENNY YOU ALWAYS LOOK NICE

They do something hurtful, and they see it in you, and you can see and feel how much they enjoy it. Get out. Perfectly said.

Kenny can you please do a video on the ploys Covert Narcissists use to get supply? My mom is a CNPD and she pretends to be “the victim” of radio frequencies such as 5g & WiFi which she claims are harmful radiation (they made up this fake “condition” called “electromagnetic sensitivity”). I am an electrical engineer and have tried explaining what ionizing vs non-ionizing radios means but because I am her scapegoat she assumes she knows more about radio frequencies than an actual elect engineer who worlds with radios and radar (I work on ships as an ETO). She also claims to be “the victim” of condensation trails from turbine aircraft which she calls ‘Chemtrails’. She also claims gravity isn’t real and earth is flat in an attempt to get attention from absolutely anyone who will argue with her. My father (her scapegoat before she divorced him) is a physicist so mom tried convincing everyone earth is flat and gravity is fake and my dad is a silly physicist. In addition to CNPD and also has a lot of signs of BPD. We are mostly estranged.

Love the painting behind you. Could you show us the whole thing sometime?

I so appreciate you kenny

You are so right there monsters no empathy get off on your pain can’t cry etc and the silent treatments and brutal discard😢I’m aware now of the part I played I feel as thow I had no idea what this was I kept searching online I enabled him in a sense by being unaware of how hard I tried to get his love sad

Lovely video! I am on my way!

Great and valuable information Thank you

I think we also have to state this. Everybody has narcissistic tendencies me. I definitely have what looks like a narcissistic tendency, but I am not a narcissist, especially if you have mind blindness which that’s directly related to a ASD trait for all levels of ASD blindness looks a lot like narcissism. I’ve studied these two topics for freaking forever and even have firsthand personal experience in the subject.

You helped me so much, Kenny. This video was so good. Thank you!!!

I am healing and have done so after he died; I don’t believe I would fall into the same trap again. I regret the difficult and somewhat wasted years and grasp my part in the long and challenging marriage.

THANKYOU DEAR KENNY FOR YOU YOUR VIDEOS KNOWLEDGE WISDOM AND PERSONALITY SORRY YOU WENT THRU THAT BUT IM GLAD YOUR OUT

I was Married and Lived with a Narc for 27 years. Now in a Relationship with a God sent to me. We all should have Hope after Narc abuse. I found my way, wasn't easy. One day when you are Strong, you will find the calling. Keep hoping... the Best life awaits everyone, it can Not be a Pipe dream for a select "some", but also Achievable by almost All!

Ditto! 💯 Excellent explanations! Thank you! This Dark subject is brighten up by your bright attractive clothing style ⭐ 🥰 and usually the background is just as Bright 🌞🎉 🌻. Bring the light 🕯️ into the dark 🌑 💯 Take Responsible for your life! No excuses! Freedom is Self Care! 🎶 🎵

I don't know why, but I have an inborn instinct about people. I'm in my 80's. There are some people I just get a vibe about and just don't get involved with any more than necessary. Anyone who was too nice or tried to love bomb me immediately made me suspicious. I'm interested in the subject because of certain things going on today. I'm guessing that if your parents raised you with respect and instilled self-esteem you will not become a victim of a narcissist?

#13- Moral superiority: at least with my narc partner, she always has to feel like she is morally superior to me. This can mean verbally putting me down, making snide comments, and/or comparing me to others that she percieves to be immoral people i.e., "you're just like your mother, a hater".... again, she says things like this as a means to make herself feel morally superior to me,.

I GOT SMACKED across my head by my mother for failing to see a spire of a church where I had had my baptism . She was showing me the place thru a window of an accelerating train we were on. I was 8 yrs old and struck with how unjust it was. Later I got used to such treatment. She said something that in free translation for Polish would be " you damn blind crow/chicken".

And I'll add: the one I had to deal with was worse than basil from "faulty towers"...😅

IM GONNA TRY AND CARE FOR MYSELF COS MY WHOLE LIFE I PUT OTHERS FIRST ALL THE TIME THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR BEING YOU FROM ANGELA

Excellent

You answered my question earlier meeting my own needs MYSELF. Right there accountability 101 self love self control and regulating my emotions in situations where in fact i am dealing with the same people who i have been avoiding theoughout my own healing and forgiveness of self by being Narcissistic. 🤯i guess what i found discouraging was many opinions of narccisists and psychosocial personality disorders that are deemed incurable. I believe anyone can change if they really see how theybe hurt and affected the lives of their loved ones. I expected my family to listen to the same excuses for self.sabotaging thinking these were personal.attacks when i can see clearly that productige criticism and or realising and seeing your actions affect others and self this is very serious and can create big health problems along with many a failed relationships. If i had this support in the past Thankyou i am trying my best. Patience is key at this point in ky healing journey along with empathy for others mistakes including my own not ecluslding and playing victim just knowing the difference between the both. Amen Kenny

Thank you

Welp, you described my coworker to a T. Been looking for a new job!

Is there such a thing as religious grandiosity? Boasting about where they are guaranteed to go in the afterlife, because of their "beliefs"? That is something I see in my mother (however, following a fundamental teaching like the golden rule is too much for her).

Was shocked my partner left me at disneyland cause a ride closed early and was hard to get to with disneyland so crowded. Rather than doing something else he lies to me saying he was on a bus when actually still close. I felt bed cause i was the one to blame. Knowing how busy the park was i said lets take the train and he wanted to walk. Once he relized it was closed for the night he started attacking me and stormed off and left the park. What shocked me more was the amout of things he attacked me for from the past. Thinking back i dont think he every really says hes sorry. But i said many times im sorry we didnt get on the ride lets do something else. We came late and the park is still open.

IVE HAD MALIGNANT NARCS ALL MY LIFE AND THE HURT THEY CAUSED IS AND WAS BEYOND REPAIR

It started with the mother- and trained me for every friendship encounter and relationship in my life. I realize I was trained to subjugate myself because of her abuse. They never change, leave, and live a life for you

14:35 he was spot on why I am doing this research lol

When I see anyone of narcissistic types I don’t even give any time.

waaw, I wish I have known this a few years ago

Due to my opinion, there is no reason to feel ashamed for your reaction at the announcement of the pregnancy. What kind of woman tells such a holy gift at the breakfast table between the newspapers ?! She has made a trivial and brutal experience out of that. A normal woman creates a sacred moment for that announcement with candlelight or at an intimate beautiful moment. Please don`t find excuses for her stupid behavior.

I didn’t start looking into this until I was discarded and she got into a new relationship in a week.

My father on the other hand was / still is as he is alive / a pharmacist who thinks he knows everything about medicine and related subjects when his knowledge is superficial at best and completely unprofessional / I can see thru this as I am a practicing medical doctor/. He also speaks about what he read about e.g. Putin or Biden in a way hinting that he had talked to them personally. He poses as an insider in every possible field : politics, religion, history, warfare, and what have you,

Right on the money

I recently met someone , I was surprised I had some fond feelings for them , it was as I am turning a corner it seems , and I discovered I trust myself understand my capabilities, a relationship with this person ? No ! Narcisstic, No ! They are dismissive avoidant however , very gentle , they obviously have feelings for me authentic ones not feigned , but they let their gaurd down a little and there is the reaction , they shut down , and get distant , change how I feel about them no ! The relationship dynamic yes ! Boundaries, I will remain kind supportive but know a serious relationship with them , that would be a very lonely place , and I have needs and banking on potential? Look at the national deficit? I know she is doing the best she can do ! For her sake I pray she has a breakthrough, for my sake I will remain realistic! Her trust issues are not mine their with her , and hers ! What attracted me ? She has a calm and gentle spirit in the midst of struggle not a hurtful bone in her body ! A beautiful soul ! And this world is not kind to them !

3:50 Here's a thought.... A sane person would make sure they had your attention before making such an announcement! Another HUGE sign.

my narc was jealous of the dog….attempted to get into arguments daily…yuk

For our sake, there has been so much said and written about narcs during the decade yet there seems hardly any notable evidence about them coming forward seeking help.

Thank you for sharing this information, I have been trying to figure out if am a covert narcissist or just narcissistic personality person, is there a video of sort for myself to watch and know?? I want to know so I don’t hurt anyone but at the same time don’t confuse people for actually being asshole to me

Just come to Canada.

They gaslight you the first time you meet them.

I never saw it till was to late but that's exactly what I experienced I'm going to be the best version of myself to show her what she missed out on. So good to be rid of her 🎉

It's very hard when you suspect but you are not completaly sure they are. In my xperience I began to have toxic behaviors too because I was trying to protect myself, but now I don't know if he was just responding to my behavior or was the other way around. I really feel a lot of remorse because.... what if he's not a narcissist and only a childish person?? 😕 I suspect he is a vulnerable narcissist but again, I'm not sure and it's the hardest.

Thank you! I am getting OUT!!!! I just did it….🎉

I was abandoned by my mother at birth. My father and grandmother took me. @ one year later my parents reconciled. I joined my family at that time. My date of birth was four days before my older sister’s first birthday. I rocked myself to sleep and

What if you were deep in thought and just really didn't hear her? I know many people like that. So, I have to just wait until they have a minute to pay attention to me, or I have to get their attention somehow if it is pressing. (And not by smacking them upside the head).

4 questions to ask when you are unsure about someone who is currently involved in your life. assuming you are treating said person in good faith, the way you would want to be treated: 1) what value do you bring to my life? 2) if the situation was reversed, would you do as much if not even half for me, of what i have done and/or would do for you? 3) if i stayed to myself, what would i miss about you? 4) how do i feel when i am around you. do you make my life better or worse? if you have to ask these questions to yourself about the person in question, that's a serious big red flag. if you have these questions out loud to the other person in question, that's likely the beginning of the end of the situationship. cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁