How to Stop a Toddler from Throwing Things and Hitting | Solving Problem Behaviors

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Dr Mary Barbera discusses how to the solve problem behavior of hitting and throwing in toddlers
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You’re still a great parent or even a great professional even when things don’t go perfectly every time. Today Rachel Smith, the Program Director for Turn Autism Around programs, joins me for her second time on the show. We are discussing her three-year old son Everett and problem behaviors of throwing and hitting he started exhibiting when visiting my house and around mom.
When I discuss problem behaviors I really talk the most about prevention. But what happens when you’re in the thick of a problem behavior moment? This can be challenging for professionals and even the most informed parents, because safety and de-escalation become a priority. Many times the attention we divert to throwing, hitting, or other problem behaviors becomes a big reinforcement. In the case of Everett, who does not have autism, he has a new baby brother and is heavily reinforced by direct attention from mom. Additionally, Rachel was allowing Everett to bring his toys into places with him, in the case of this behavior these toys became weapons. When a child brings toys for comfort, their hands are occupied with them and they are in control of these items which is another reinforcer for problem behavior.
See the show notes to this podcast episode here:
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You'll Learn:
- How to stop throwing and hitting behavior.
- How to stop problem behaviors.
- How to stop reinforcing problem behaviors.
- Why you should remove attention during problem behaviors.
- What are simple triggers for problem behavior?
- Why good parents and good professionals still struggle with problem behavior.
- What are interventions for attention seeking behavior?
If you enjoyed this video on problem behaviors in kids, be sure to subscribe to the channel, like this video and visit my website below. If you have more questions, leave them down in the comments section, and I will do my best to answer you. Thanks for watching today's video about problem behavior, and let's #turnautismaround together!
Interested in learning more about teaching a child with autism, special needs parenting, or other autism and special needs topics in the mental health in children niche?
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Dr. Mary Barbera. I fell into the autism world as an autism mom in 1999 when her first-born son, Lucas, was diagnosed with autism. Since then, she became a Board-Certified Behavior Analyst and best-selling author of The Verbal Behavior Approach. Since 2015, she’s created 3 autism online courses based on applied behavior analysis for professionals and "gung-ho" parents. Whether you’re looking for autism parenting strategies, working with development delays in children, or in search of autism help for professionals, I can encourage you to subscribe to the channel and join me on my journey. I’ll be providing weekly autism resources that you don’t want to miss.
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Опубликовано:

17 июл 2022

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Комментарии : 65

@andreasMou123 Год назад

28:20 is what you came here for.

@mrym.a6640 5 месяцев назад

Thanks

@Gigi.973 5 месяцев назад

Thank you!!!

@T0US8687 3 месяца назад

Where’s the hitting part

@lanabear2707 4 месяца назад

1. Be in control of the extra items in the area so they don’t become accessible objects to throw. 2. Ignore the behaviour you don’t want 3. Don’t use threats or bribes - don’t use “I’m sorry” 4. Use a clear slate - don’t revisit the poor behaviour by talking about it 5. Social stories are to much focus on negative situations 6. When the kids are calm - sit them down and set new ground rules - we can’t hit people and we can’t throw things. If you do this then we will remind you once not to hit or throw. If you throw we will take the items out of your hands. We won’t talk to you again until you stop the behaviour. (It only takes a few minutes for them to calm down) As soon as they relax - the slate is clean and the energy is positive and vibrant.

@pic5637 5 месяцев назад

I sent this video to my wife and we both watched it. We started doing these tips and after 3 days, my two year old has improved a lot. Actually, my wife and I have improved a lot. We’re not stressed out, we’re not feeling frustrated, if anything, as soon as our two year does something we look at each other and try to remember what your video suggests to do. We’re on day 5 and we’re so grateful. Thanks for sharing.

@marybarbera 5 месяцев назад

I'm so happy this video helped you! If you're looking for more resources, visit MaryBarbera.com/links-yt

@mariagassner7845 2 года назад

This was so fantastic. I am sharing with my staff this September and my clients' families as well! Thank you. I love that you start with, "you are a good mom!"

@marybarbera Год назад

Thank you so much for listening/watching and for your support! I'm happy that you found this helpful.

@annamaru7577 23 дня назад

My grandson hits with open hand when he gets exited ( usually while watching kids videos on his iPad) he throws toys only while playing not on an aggressive way. He throws tantrums or wines when he wants something or gets frustrated. I will definitely will implement this technique.

@marybarbera 20 дней назад

Good luck! Also make sure to check out the turn tantrums around mini courses at turntantrumsaround.com

@kathymills9572 2 года назад

Thanks, Mary. Shared with my daughter who has 3 daughters under four. Great info for all parents!❤️

@marybarbera 2 года назад

Thank you so much for watching and sharing!

@angelicaromero1674 10 месяцев назад

Wow thank you so much! My twins both have cerebral palsy with behavioral issues. This is really great information. We do have a behavioral therapist that we’ve just started with. This is so simplified. Thank you, thank you, thank you! ❤

@marybarbera 10 месяцев назад

You are so welcome!

@aneesahthequeen Год назад

😍😍❤️❤️💙💙My daughter always hit when she doesn’t get her way right away! If she don’t hit us she will slam and throw things down!?? So thanks for sharing advice!❤️

@melisaoffice7194 Год назад

same here!

@momshie_gi1075 8 месяцев назад

Same here😞

@angelawatkins6772 3 месяца назад

Sameeee it's miserable no peace rarely :/

@The_Mim 2 года назад

Our 4 year old definitely likes throwing stuff. Especially if he's angry or upset.

@marybarbera 2 года назад

My online courses can really help you prevent these behaviors. Join me for a free workshop for more info: www.marybarbera.com/workshops.

@audreyduggan5567 Год назад

I so appreciate this video, its so honest and real and I think we have all had moments like this with our kiddies. Rachels willingness to share is so helpful. We don't get it right all the time but with reflection can do better the next time.

@marybarbera Год назад

Very well said! Thank you :)

@Kristin_MommyBreakdown Год назад

My friend is having trouble with this. Sending it to her. Thanks!!

@marybarbera Год назад

She's lucky to have you!

@alessiomonti5634 Год назад

Nice video :) Looks like a good technique when you have language, but what about younger toddlers? Do you have any tipa on that? :)

@73viji 10 месяцев назад

Thanks ❤

@marybarbera 9 месяцев назад

You are welcome!

@nadirrasvan4594 Месяц назад

Just wanted to thank you for those precious words I just started implementing this with my 2 yo kid and I have seen an immediate improvement and this actually made me so much excited to continue following this and first time to see my wife after implementing this too is a stress free really thank you so much 🙏🙏

@marybarbera Месяц назад

Great! To learn more attend a 💻 free workshop to help young children increase talking, decrease tantrums, and improve picky eating, sleeping, potty training and more: bit.ly/3GZjn7m

@speechspot3758 Год назад

Thanks so much for sharing this info, I am an SLP who works in a classroom full of preschoolers. Do you have suggestions for this behavior in this environment particularly throwing when there are toys that are being played with everywhere around the room and it is difficult to eliminate those opportunities for throwing.

@marybarbera Год назад

When we have problem behaviors like this, it's important to assess the whole picture of what's going on with the child. I can help you with this in my online Toddler course. For more information, join me for a free online workshop at www.marybarbera.com/workshops.

@vzlanoxvida 4 месяца назад

My 2 1/2 year old is hitting (us) when he doesn’t get his way. In this case, what do we do immediately, or “take way”, since he doesn’t technically have an object on his hands? What is the immediate consequence? Thanks in advance

@lauracurry9274 3 месяца назад

This is the video I needed to watch today I hope this works x

@marybarbera Месяц назад

❤ Hope you can attend a free workshop today: bit.ly/3GZjn7m

@florentinac.2651 Год назад

Hi. About throwing..can it be also caused by VISUAL stimming or AUDITORY stimming? How should a kindergarden teacher react to a verbal child of 5 years old autistic,who is throwing things ,as a play game,during activities? When can we speak about this kind of behavior as one of oppositional one-adhd type??If he do not stop after a long time? Thank you so much.Blessings !

@marybarbera Год назад

I would suggest joining a course to help: MaryBarbera.com/courses

@T0US8687 3 месяца назад

My 18 month old has been hitting a lot in playful matters, but he also hits or throw things when his bigger brother or sister stops him from doing something

@moneyparhar 8 месяцев назад

We have our 3 year old turning 4 in November. He is in pre K. He hit other kids in class. We r tired of that. We keep telling him not to do. He says he will not do it again but he does it again. Teacher says he just hit random. Sometimes for no reason. We feel helpless. Can u pls help.

@marybarbera 8 месяцев назад

You can take a free online assessment and go from there. Usually this is followed by attending a free workshop. MaryBarbera.com/freeassessment MaryBarbera.com/workshops

@krisadivine4252 Месяц назад

Same here.

@olive1162 Год назад

I believe my son he’s 22 months he throws and smashes things and hurts us when he upset or frustrated and can’t express them selves ?

@marybarbera Год назад

We have a mini course for tantrums. marybarbera.com/turn-tantrums-around-mini-course/ Additionally, you can get help in dealing with problem behaviors by joining a course and being a part of the online community: marybarbera.com/courses/

@ellalicanda9382 Год назад

But my toddler just 2yrs old now do hitting and throwing and i have 4months baby. We are talking to him a night before but he's just listening

@marybarbera Год назад

This can help: marybarbera.com/autism-and-hitting-resolving-autism-aggression/

@ashleyengelhardt1859 Месяц назад

My 4 year old Autistic son is super sweet boy but lately he’s been bitting pushing pinches, and has been throwing down his baby brother. I feel so hopeless right now. He gets better the reverses back

@marybarbera Месяц назад

To learn more attend a 💻 free workshop to help young children increase talking, decrease tantrums, and improve picky eating, sleeping, potty training and more: bit.ly/3GZjn7m

@kaylah1507 9 месяцев назад

What about when your 3 year old will go around the house throwing every thing in sight while angry? I can’t just pin him down… what do I do? I can’t just ignore him while he destroys the house…

@marybarbera 8 месяцев назад

We have a mini course that helps with tantrums: Here's the link: marybarbera.com/turn-tantrums-around-mini-course/

@Researchonly88 Месяц назад

But if I take what’s in his hand he’ll just grab something else… literally anything. Should I hold his hands?

@dods016 2 месяца назад

thats my problem with my 3 year old son.. start throwing things when he is 1year old.. many cellphone and tv are damaged since then..

@marybarbera Месяц назад

That's tough. Attending a free workshop today can help: MaryBarbera.com/workshops

@tamarasmith3588 2 месяца назад

What about when a 3 year old hits, biting, scratching his mom?

@marybarbera Месяц назад

Free workshop to start helping your child: bit.ly/3GZjn7m

@dougwilson1247 Год назад

The Wifey here….. let’s remember to thumbs up, this helps tremendously

@marybarbera Год назад

Thank you for watching!

@ZrixE_69420 11 месяцев назад

My brother throws away every phones in our house. How to stop this.

@marybarbera 10 месяцев назад

First step is to keep all phones out of reach to prevent the behavior. I can teach you how to prevent problem behaviors like this effectively. Join a free workshop to learn more: MaryBarbera.com/workshop or join my online course and community today: MaryBarbera.com/courses

@ZrixE_69420 9 месяцев назад

@@marybarbera thats not even possible. Where we hide. The kid finds it everywhere and wont stop crying if he doesn’t get any phones. More likely. It will start hitting us with metal sticks. His zodiac sign is scorpio btw.

@ZrixE_69420 9 месяцев назад

@@marybarbera more likely. He smashed every phones 13 times that our total cost is 520 dollars.

@anumabid8937 Год назад

I have a question..what if the child doesnt have anything in his hands to throw..but finds other things to throw..for instance, he throws the vase on the table..or anything thing in this vision area..child is non_verbal.

@marybarbera Год назад

We have a mini course that can help with tantrums and throwing: marybarbera.com/turn-tantrums-around-mini-course/

@cyn4201 4 месяца назад

does he have autism?

@dealingwithfeeling763 4 месяца назад

Hi, I would like to collaborate with your channel. Dealing with Feeling helps people cope with feelings. We aim to help children cope with feelings early on so they do not struggle with emotions later on but know them as drivers on their path.