Thank you! I was just confronted by a coworker today, a person I am really sad to have hurt, and am now realizing how big of a character flaw this is for me.
I always tell myself the thing that is bothering me is just a minor inconvenience or minor disrespect. No need to cause a scene. But then it happens 10 times and I'm imploding or making rude comments. Your video helped me to address my problems, thank you! More people should watch it :)
It's definitely a fine line to walk -- sometimes we DO overthink or read into things that are minor. But if we bottle it up and don't give ourselves the chance to process with the other person, that minor thing can quickly become major! And thanks for the kind words :)
Thank you for this video! It took some digging to actually find a video that is for people that have passive aggressive tendencies. Great advice thank you!! 💗
I did what you said and watched the others first. I feel like I’m bombing you with comments but I want your advice on my specific situation. Thanks to you, I know exactly what to do. But need guidance on the best way to carry it out. I rarely get angry. I get upset, depressed, feel defeated, completely frustrated or anxious. I start shaking and my heart starts pounding when passive aggressive sarcastic comments are made. Comments that refer to issues I have already communicated in earnest. Sometimes, when you tell your someone how you feel, they say all the right things to keep you from ending the relationship, and months later I realize the issue wasn’t solved after all. It always rears it’s ugly head via passive aggressive and sarcastic comments. If I say, “you still feel like that” or “don’t you remember why I don’t think now is the right time to get married” or whatever it is, she ALWAYS says, I WAS JUST JOKING!
No problem at all about bombarding with comments! The channel is still small so it's manageable to reply, plus it gives me good insight on what can help people. These issues are often complex, and it's impossible to capture all the nuance over a comment. But a few thoughts come to mind: -Behaviors and thought patterns take time (and A LOT of it) to change. This is regarding both you and the other party. What sometimes happens is we learn a new communication tool, go "AHA," implement it, and then feel even more frustrated because it doesn't work as we had hoped. That's okay. Every time you go through this, you get a little better, learn a little more, think a little more clearly. -Is it possible this person is actually joking, and just doesn't understand the deeper impact of these jokes? -It might be helpful, after you bring up an issue, to ask the other person to tell you what they heard you say, so you know you're on the same page, or address any assumptions that are made. -People cannot clearly see your side of the story if they think they're being judged or blamed for their actions. We often feel attacked when people provide us feedback. It takes time and repetition to diffuse that tension, to get someone to understand that your beef is with a specific action, not with them as a person.
How did I just figure out, at age 60, that I am very passive-aggressive? Better late than never, I guess. I think I use this coping mechanism because it allows me to communicate to the other person that they did or said something annoying (in my opinion), without me having to actually confront them, and then deal with the results of that. I really hate confrontation. I don't know how to do it effectively, without getting angry and losing my temper. Many people in my family are this way, so I'm hopeful that this is a learned behavior I can unlearn. Any advice?
Thank you for this I do this when I feel like someone is lying to me like when they truly like me and I be hurt in the past and I feel like they truly don't idk truly why only thing that comes to mind is being hurt so much it's hard to believe that!!??? Please help
I feel so bad I sent a dumb text to a guy I said the way you say my name is funny with an emoji And he didnt laugh I didnt know that was passive aggressive But hes been avoiding me ever since. I did apologise if he was offended. Bit still nothing
