i recently started being super authentic online and i noticed that when you don’t let the fear consume you, it goes away so quickly! just let the emotion pass and it will. you don’t have to hold on to it
i think a big issue is people never take a long period to simply be by themselves and meditate on themselves. Every day, we're bombarded with social media, so if you've never known what it's like to live without other people's approval, you'll be conditioned to always seek that approval because you've never known anything else. After isolating during my saturn return, I finally broke out of overthinking about what people think about me, because i got to experience simply being out by myself, going to the store by myself, not being on social media, and just enjoying the silence of independence. I loved it. Now that I'm social again, I'm at an equilibrium where I don't **need** people's approval, but I also don't **need** to be away from people either.
@@iamuuareme you dont have to go into specifics here if you dont want to, but I asked because I've noticed the first step for a lot of people is being more specific (and honest) about what it is that's the cause of their attachment-issues. Without realizing all the raw specifics of it, you cant reverse-engineer it. Maybe you already know what it is, maybe you dont, but facing it and naming it is the crucial first step for many people. To this day, I'm still questioning & discovering things about myself.
I’ve had the hardest time accepting myself as an introverted, quieter type of person and realizing that it’s totally okay to be this way. Being bullied and told whether it’s at work or in my regular everyday life that I’m not normal, I should change myself, or that there’s something wrong with me being the way I am has always made me worry about people’s opinions and feel incredibly insecure. I’ll work on changing this as I get older because I can’t constantly keep living for other people and their perceptions of me and my life. I’m tired
There’s nothing wrong with being quiet or introverted. If they didn’t like it’s because it’s a reflection of them especially if they bullied you. They’re insecure with themselves it’s never the victims fault. It’s something they’re not happy about with themselves so they put other people down to make themselves feel better. But That’s good that you’re going to work on it and improve as time goes on. You’re amazing just the way you are!! There’s nothing wrong with you.
I’m currently listening to this as I pick at my station at Amazon lol. After work I’m going to go home and post my video. I’m done overthinking and stopping myself from posting due to me thinking what others may think or say. ❤️🙏🏾
I think people ARE judging us but the longer you spend giving a shit is the longer it will be detrimental. And when it is it will only be to yourself. I’ve had best friends throw tantrums about how I’ve changed but if I continued to cater to their comfortability I would have never leveled up in life. And now years later they say how great I turned out while they are still doing the same shit. I don’t care what they do and have the humility to still come around and want to hang out with my childhood friends but it’s a slippery slope because a lot of jealousy can evolve if you’re not living the same type of lifestyle. In retrospect be calm, be respectful but don’t let anyone deter you from your path. You will only live with regret
That tip about code switching or not code switching is golden. As a black dude who works around a lot of black people, I feel pressured to speak slang or ebonics when I would rather just speak proper but when I speak proper , people make fun of me. I'm tired of it
You are not alone! I feel the same pressure but in reverse and I just talk however I want. Let people draw their own weird "doesn't really make sense" conclusions. And if anybody checks you, check them. Stay strong!
Oh girl we left that “talking white” BS in the 1990’s. Speak how you’re comfortable, it’s not these people’s fault they don’t get out much to understand people speak differently.
I’m only 20 but I feel as though I’ve hit my Saturn return 10 years early. I was constantly bullied and isolated from peers for the past 13 years of my life and I also suffer from severe social anxiety which led me to develop body image issues and disordered eating/depression at 16 and 17. Once I started seeking help and got to the root cause, my brain was completely rewired to the point that I’m not that same person I was 4 years ago. Even then, I can’t even be around most people my own age because they emulate that toxic energy that I once held. Which is why most of my friends are older coworkers relatives in there mid/late 20s and even 30s
Thank you Lynette. I literally just went thru a scenario where I was faced w ppl judging my posts online - it was like my worst fear bc it was ppl close to me & all of a sudden I had all this negative self talk around my worth & not being worthy of others’ attention. This vid is so fortuitous, I’m on a path to loving and accepting myself instead of seeking validation from others now- that is all we need at the end of the day!! ❤
I’ve been battling how people will perceive me if I allow myself to be fully immersed in my receiving energy. I’ve been hyper independent for a long time and recently started consciously stepping in relaxation and receptiveness. I’ve perceived dependency on other people as a weakness so allowing myself to let other people who can, take care of me makes me feel perceived as needy.
I relate to this so much & am currently at a similar place in my journey. Opening yourself up to others after finding comfort in solitude can be challenging & somewhat triggering, but I also think is worth it in the end. We got this ❤️ sending love
The universe called me with this video. Thank you for uploading this. I know you JUST uploaded this but I was just thinking about how even tho I usually don’t care, something inside me is still screaming for validation. Thank you Lynette, a subscriber for 4 years! ❤
This came at a great time. I had a previous partner who said he never had any traumatic experience in his life. He was very privilleged & a wealthy family. It was hard for me not to get resentful about this & he found i wrote it in a journal 😂 so you can tell how that relationship ended
The synchronicity is INSANE. The way I just randomly felt called to buy the artist's way on Google Play and get cracking in unblocking my expression,, and they you start talking about it right after... that's WILD
omg YES! I'm from NY and I've had to teach myself that not only is it okay to smile at people, but its also safe to. I grew up (like most NYers) learning to look mean and not make eye contact to 'protect' myself. But as I got older I realize that even though it was a form of protection, it didn't make me feel good. Now, I like to walk around with a smile and eye contact. I still feel protected, but now it's with love instead of fear! And I spread the energy to others. Love this sm Lyn
Ppl can’t smile at one another in nyc because when you smile at someone it’s equivalent to smiling at yourself in the mirror, because everyone is your reflection. Most ppl in NYC can’t even find a reason to smile at themselves in the mirror which is why they don’t smile and so mean to ppl. Its a internal hindge they’re projecting.
A lot of people on the east coast of America struggle with peace, love and compassion, both within themselves and other people because they’ve adopted a mindset that everyone’s out to get them. If you don’t immediately have a high-wall built around you on first meet, they see you as a someone suspicious or someone to be easily taken advantage of. Even holding a door open or saying good morning to a stranger envokes a level of confusion or hostility. Granted anyone who sees basic human decency and compassion as weakness or threat of danger says way more more about them than it does you, but you can’t help but feel bad that these people are stuck in such an environment. Leaving the East Coast to live further west was the best thing I could do to restore my faith in humanity. It’s night and day.
Thankyou Lynette! You truly never miss. Btw you always look beautiful in your vlogs I struggle with thinking I look a mess sometimes too but I choose to post anyways cuz this is what I love 🥰
I am a victim of overthinking to the point where my anxiety kicks in full gear. I recently had to catch myself because I was laying around, thinking the ultimate worse scenarios about money, family, work and I was sleeping a lot I decided to get my butt up and get out, exercise and not let it overcome me. Like you have to take back control. I always think everybody is at me and if they are who cares. I’m taking one year to handle business, slow down and practice more self love and pour into my mental health.
Nyc is so expensive, but there are alot of fun hidden gems throughout all the boroughs that you can have a whole lot of fun and adventure for free. Thats why I love bike riding all throughout nyc, I found so many cool places that most nyers don’t be knowing about. But upstate ny is a whole lot of fun too, not just nyc ✨🙌🏾. Welcome to our city Lynette, I apologize for the rudeness of our nyc culture, but beings like you and I will raise the frequency and soon everyone will be smiling at one another in nyc.
I’m a young beautiful mama and wife and went to a lounge to get away for a night by myself. I had a family friend who heard about the situation and started telling my husband that I went to go see other men I was offended because Im not the type who play about disloyalty. But I allowed someone else opinion of me to ruin my whole day that day and never again. Thanks for the video
this is what i needed! i've done so many things with other people's opinion about me and it makes me feel bad to myself. i realize they're not truly fucking care about our life at all😵💫
Thank you for this video ! You said points I liked- some I have thought some & I remind myself. Some I haven’t thought specifically & like the way you put it into words. Good practice steps ! (~& I like the whole video~) saving to come back the video ❤ Thank you 💗💖💞
Okay this is my conundrum: So let's say Karen, a made up person, is a people pleaser that cares what everyone thinks about her. People don't respect her because of this and she's miserable and has no friends. So she decides to stop caring what other people think about her because she cares what people think about her and so she thinks to herself, "Maybe people will be pleased with me if I stop caring so much what they think about me?" So she starts acting like she doesn't care what others think about her. She starts saying, "I don't care what other people think about me." Then people start respecting her and she starts getting more friends. Now everyone is pleased with Karen because she stopped caring what they all think about her. So isn't that the ultimate people pleasing? When you don't care what anybody thinks about you anymore and now everybody is pleased with you and likes you and what to hang out with you. It's the ultimate paradox.
If you live in nyc and wanna have a day a relaxation without being interrupted by so many ppl, I would go to Randalls/Wards Island. I been living in nyc 32 years born & raised but I just found out about Randalls Island like few years ago, best discovery! Its a good place to meditate, bike ride, bbq, a place of peace away from the busy city
This video popped up at the right time because I've had the challenge of being my true self around friends which come across as insecure because they all want to dress a certain way which isn't my style. I know it isn't me personally and it's their insecurities but the struggle is real being amongst people like this. I appreciate your advice so much because there are time where am tempted to change my outfit. I'm definitely going to challenge Myself.
This was great. Definitely working on this. And not internalizing every opinion. Have some work to do but gratefull to have the awareness and content like this to support us through. Thank you for sharing and speaking out about topics such as these ❤
This is exactly what i needed to hear , just right on time when am over obsessing over what other people think since i started this music thing and doing it full time.. it has been a lot, damn.. but your videos kept me going for years.. and girl you're so beautiful am catching strays every time i see your face❤🔥
omg moving from california where you make small chat with people who pass by you or bag your groceries, to going to NJ/NY where they will scowl at you if you interact with them like that, it was such a rude awakening as a 9 year old loll
Was thinking about this a lot while working in a leadership role. I have other leaders with me who can be so funny and weird without thinking about it. And i envy that and wish i could care less. But when they see me kinda tryna be professional and not react so much they get shy and tone it down but i feel so bad cuz i know how that feels to just switch cuz others are watching or not giving the energy they expected. And the most i can do is smile and say i dont mind. But im so shy to say too much and really wanted to encourage them some more. It was a difficult day for me and i tried so hard to match the energy but as im trying to be more in tune with myself and feel out what im feeling that it's hard to be sad and in deep thought while at work. I think others felt that, and i was wishing so bad that i can just be a regular worker drowned in work and not be a leader with eyes on you.
I feel like we become too deep into others and it drives us to care more about what people think. If you can spend enough time alone and start to love yourself more, things will fall into place in your life.
hey girly, so I resonate with this message a lot. funny enough the notification for this video popped up for me when I was thinking to myself on how I need to stop caring what others think with how I dress. the divine timing of this video is so real, I have plan to start slowly reinventing myself and going towards the fear! thank you so much for the insights, definitely will take them with me on the journey :,)
I must saying the divine timing of your videos is crazy. Everything you’ve been talking about is in direct alignment with what I’ve been currently dealing with. Thank you 🫶🏽
Spot on video. My ex read the book the four agreements but it went completely over his head. He would project all his insecurities and negative thoughts onto me and the relationship and it was draining to be around. We our own own worst critics and until people come to that realization they’ll continue to be trapped in this negative thought cycle about themselves and others. Gotta give self love in order to put love out into the world and others 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
