How To Successfully Break Up With Someone

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Confused about what to text him? Just copy and paste any of these 9 texts - bit.ly/1EpQNbm
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In this week's episode of LOVELife, I discuss how to break up with someone. It might be someone you still love, or that you don't see a future with, but it's never easy. Here are my thoughts to help you get through the tough time and keep arguments and heartache to a minimum.
Video links at the end -
How To Recover After An Argument: • How To Recover After A...
What He's Thinking When He Breaks Up With You: • What HE'S THINKING Whe...
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Опубликовано:

15 июн 2024

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Комментарии : 1 тыс.

@MK_1Ultra 3 года назад

Its so difficult when you know you're going to be responsible for hurting someone you genuinely care about because they are good people. Whether you met someone else, just dont think you have the capacity for them in your life or whatever the issue is. When you know you will hurt them it hurts you but it has to be done.

@RunninChic620 2 года назад

Feelings change

@bluebellcrushedvelvet 2 года назад

Omg I feel so much what you just said!!

@rtjunior1622 Год назад

So true

@Duck72432 Год назад

This for me is worse than getting broken up with I can handle my own hurt , but having to hurt someone I care about and there’s no way out ..that sucks

@SandaliAriyaratne 5 месяцев назад

Yesss

@lynnc5291 4 года назад

It sounds silly but I recorded a video on my phone of me talking about my feelings and why I have made the decision to leave. After our breakup I would revisit that video and it helped me alot

@backwardzhatguy9953 3 года назад

Why hello!…

@javababa7269 2 года назад

That sounds like a great idea. I hope your doing ok

@the1hylander568 2 года назад

Thank you, I'm going to do that aswell. Preparing to breakup this Friday 💔

@user-lt3yb4fm6q 2 года назад

That's a great idea! Thanks for sharing

@relationguru3040 2 года назад

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-YdUogBWpk3M.html

@MyMEGAamazinglife1 7 лет назад

I burst into tears because it's so fucking hard to do! I love him to bits but the relationship is way too much hard work and I know he doesn't love me as much as he pretends he does... he just doesn't want to be alone. He doesn't look after me or try to protect me. I need to look after myself...

@lukycawarra4282 7 лет назад

This right here spoke to me so much.. I'm in what looks to be a breakup after one year. My guy does look after me and does protect me, which makes it harder. We're in a limbo, checking with each other every so often in the past month. I have no idea what to do...

@AnnaKayJulie 6 лет назад

Luky Cawarra You guys check out the work of Byron Katie.

@rimdjeghdjegh1860 6 лет назад

Luky Cawarra but why u want a break up?

@sylvia6474 6 лет назад

OutNumbered Family so did U Break Up or you worked IT Out?

@girlinthesouth850 6 лет назад

OutNumbered Family same

@joamaziah4800 6 лет назад

When it comes to deciding whether you should leave a toxic relationship or not you gotta ask yourself do i want to die once from the breakup or die everyday staying with them.

@JennMartinello 3 года назад

WOW.

@enlaotrapuntadelmund 3 года назад

Boom

@its_outil7789 3 года назад

Wow that really got me thinking.

@jeannieakana808 2 года назад

Powerful!! It is true. This pain, over and over is so horrible.

@relationguru3040 2 года назад

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-YdUogBWpk3M.html

@wasnae8675 5 лет назад

"Don't give many reasons" is absolotuly amazing. People tend to focus on the weakest arguments. Thanks! Wish me good luck.

@funmifadele5245 3 года назад

How did it go for you ? cause I'm hoping to do same soon. I dropped my story below in a comment below. It's long but Its cause my story is actually complicated. I have been with him for 8+ years now, we met in the university and it was only by God's grace that I wasn't expelled when I got pregnant cause it was a private university and pregnancy by an unmarried female meant expulsion. I'm not sure but I think, that may have been where our problem started cause I remember he once told me before we had the baby, after having an unprotected sex one time, that if I got pregnant I would just miss a couple of months in the session bla bla bla... Eventhough I love my son so much now, It pained me that he didnt consider the possibility of me being expelled. I know I cud have taken care of myself by taking pills to avoid getting preg but I was young and maybe stupid too (A good stupid now though cause my baby is the best thing to happen to me). I stayed with his parents during the pregnancy as I couldn't tell my dad who would have stopped paying my fees and I wouldn't have graduated. Aside the pregnancy issue, My stay with his parents was a terrible experience as the only tolerable person in his family is his dad. I had no choice but to be patient so they could take care of my baby after i give birth and go back to sch. Also then i discovered he is a serial cheat, had alot of one night stands. Another issue i have with him is, I dont know how to put it, but he is not a very intelligent person and that turns me off.. I love a guy who is very smart and goal oriented.. Well to cut the long boring story short, I'm also not a saint as I started to have flings, but honestly it's cause I don't love him but he doesn't want to leave me. I have told him a number of times now that we need to take time away from each other but he always begs me and I cant stand to see him hurt so I keep staying. He also has this disgusting habit of installing spywares in my phone and then monitor my calls, movement and everything remotely. From this tools He has caught me a couple of time sexting and I honestly would hope he would leave me but insstead he would try to do better by giving me more money or buying me stuff. I no longer feel sexually attracted to him no matter how hard i try. It hurts me to hurt him but I'm so hurt myself being with him and now I have become a cheat cause I have sexual urges that he cant help me with. Finally, even if I decide to suppress my feeling and just stay, my family and friends dislikes him for his immature and insensitive way of talking to people (a trait eveyone in his family except his dad possess). I am so depressed.

@yamato3573 3 года назад

@@funmifadele5245 I just got slapped and mocked online for showing her proof that she cheated on me

@veganforever9703 6 месяцев назад

How did it go

@EllieJM 5 лет назад

Im dreading breaking up with my boyfriend. I have a speech written and im so nervous....just hard to tell someone you care about that you dont think you are right for eachother

@devankmittal8311 4 года назад

If it's not too personal to ask, why did you want to break up if you both love each other? Have you broken up or are you both still together?

@augustaoliva9739 4 года назад

Ellie morris how did it go

@sophiab5260 4 года назад

@@devankmittal8311 Well caring about someone, being attached to someone, is not the same as being in love with them or even just attracted to them. These are clearly different things, I know by my own experience. Also she wrote that it's because they are not right for each other.

@gogypidge 4 года назад

@Devank Mittal - you love them but you just aren’t feeling it and you really want a bit of alone time

@jmaca. 4 года назад

Ellie Morris how was it?? X

@rahmarae8001 3 года назад

I'm the one wanting to break up and it breaks my heart.

@pancakes4555 3 года назад

HOW COULD YOU?! YOU SAID THAT YOU COULDN'T TEXT ME BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS TOOK YOUR PHONE AND NOW YOU'RE COMMENTING ON RU-vid?

@pancakes4555 3 года назад

THAT'S IT WE'RE OVER

@rahmarae8001 3 года назад

@@pancakes4555 lmao

@emgan 2 года назад

I'm in the same situation as you.

@rahmarae8001 2 года назад

@@emgan girl just end it, it will hurt for sometime then all you'll have is peace 💗 never ignore your intuition, I found out he wasn't worth a second of my precious time, and by cutting him off I made room for the right person for me!

@patriciahopey1384 3 года назад

After 20 years of marriage i told my husband I needed to be on my own. My strongest case was It was time.He agreed he wanted to be on his own. No anger .no accusation. Calm. I'm leaving not only the home, I'm leaving the province I've lived in for 55 years. An alcoholic, a real narcissist a man on a 40 year quest. I've let go of my past and look to my future. THAT is hope. 3 cheers from Canada

@teresadavis9557 2 года назад

Wow you’re so brave. I hope you’re living your best life ❤️

@nastialover180 9 лет назад

I'm so glad you shared this right now. I am about to drive up to see my boyfriend of a year and a half and end things. He hasn't done anything wrong, and I love him, but I need to be alone right now. I'm so sad and conflicted but hearing your advice is comforting. It's not easy.

@MrWaffleOfficial 8 лет назад

+LittleMissFitness how did it go? i feel like i should do the same with my gf. it's been a year almost now, but i feel like i just want te be on my own again.. and it also feels like we're getting in a long boring relation ship, like i had with my ex gf..

@nastialover180 8 лет назад

+Boris Grifo I ended up calling him on the way drive up and telling him I wasn't going to make it and that I needed a break. 2 days later we agreed to end things. It hurt for about a week because I didn't have a really obvious "reason" why I wanted to end things. But looking back now 10 months later, I'm so glad I did. When you get that feeling that it's time to end things, listen to your gut. Bet of luck!

@nastialover180 8 лет назад

+River Duran 💁 after the initial pain of having to be the bad guy and break up with him, I realized it was a good decision and I'm happy now. That's not that crazy right?

@ShaggyTheClown17 6 лет назад

It probably happened again no doubt, and doubtful it'll be the last because many women have self acceptance issues and feel the false need to be accepted by multiple men to feel validated, you will likely build up a reputation if you haven't already and will never find a decent man who will accept it and not bump you off after a couple weeks, you get bored of guys after a while I'm sure men get bored of you.

@mattiethesurfer 6 лет назад

mab sreymom Did you communicate any of this with him? Communicate with him how you are feeling about being “bored” or whatever it is you feel?

@graveserpent 7 лет назад

At some angles he looks like Daniel Radcliffe wtf why is Harry Potter giving me love advice

@-Oddish- 5 лет назад

Arcanex dude I thought the same thing wondering if I was crazy

@Guy25096 4 года назад

Of all the things in this video this is the one you notice 😂

@hollyp3065 3 года назад

facts! but I would take dating advice from Daniel Radcliffe anyday...

@eelyssafischer Год назад

I ENDED A LONG RELATIONSHIP ABOUT 4 MONTHS AGO AGTER GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH MUSELF FOR MONTHS.. AND SPECIFICALLY CAME BACK TO TELL YOU ALL THAT IT WILL WORK OUT!! Trust me sis, it is the most god awful painful thing you will experience. But I’m here to tell you that after 4 months I am the happiest and healthiest version of myself possible. You can do this!!!

@josephmeetstravel9762 7 лет назад

It was the most difficult thing, but I had to break up with my fiancee a little over 6 months ago. We were together for 2 years, mostly long distance because I live in Japan and she lived in Texas. We would always make a trip to visit each other. She stayed for almost the whole summer before and I visited her family in Texas and asked for her hand. Everyday away was spent on the phone talking to her. But I just knew she wasn't the one after I proposed. We fought so much and I questioned our friendship sometimes. I realized that my feelings for her were gone when I came too. After she left from staying with me for a month in Japan, I called her and broke up with her. It was so difficult and yes she begged me back. I took this advice from the video and held my ground. I knew it was right for us both and she couldn't see that. After a week, I began to question if it was the right thing to do. I was feeling lonely. I would always think back to those reasons as to why I broke up with her and then I would keep on going strong with my decision. After a month, my attitude changed at work with my students and fellow cowokers. People began complimenting me on a positive attitude change. I had a glow about me and I seemed different and more passionate and fun people would tell me at work. No one had any idea I broke up with my ex. It showed me I made the right decision. I was happier. Every day I decided to move on and do different things. I am glad that I broke up with my ex even though I broke her heart or "ruined her year, and her dreams of getting married," as she put it. Her family hated me after that. It was a sacrifice for my happiness. I knew I did the right thing when I made the most difficult decision but feel way happier after doing it. Good luck ladies and gentlemen. Don't rob yourself of your own happiness. Nobody is in charge of your happiness but you.

@jxuann89 6 лет назад

Joseph Meets Travel ur very brave and strong! Happiness is a good indicator/reminder that you made the right decision to walk a separate way.

@jillday1 6 лет назад

this is awesome you realize this

@megan1950 6 лет назад

I recently broke up with my fiance. Four and a half years together. It was only after the ring was on my finger I realized how much more commitment and sacrifice I had put in, and how much he took me for granted. He only responded to me if I cried, nagged, or made ultimatums. I don't like behaving that way, but if I ever tried to communicate as an adult he would either ignore me or respond indignantly, which was defensive. We had the same arguments over and over, despite calmly explaining my side, he could never explain his and we never got any of these arguments resolved. I realized that this behavior from him was, after four years we agreed marriage was the plan, indicative of someone who doesn't want to be married, isn't ready for marriage, refuses to address serious issues, and may never be ready to be married or be a reliable, supportive partner. We tried counseling at his suggestion, but he really wasn't trying to understand anything. So I had to walk away and start all over. Props to you for facing the frequent fights. Props to you that you were able to break it off without breaking down in front of your colleagues and students.

@HimonoOnna90 5 лет назад

I really needed that right now. Thank you so much! I hope you continue glowing and being happy, you brave and honest man ^^

@xoOhGoshiRockxo 4 года назад

Joseph Meets Travel omg is this my story???? That’s crazy. I never usually respond to comments but I had to. Also, almost 2 years. He proposed. Long distance, him in Algeria, me in jersey. We had several trips in between even a summer. But after getting engaged it has becoming so toxic. He’s more controlling and it’s horrible especially with long distance. I’m thinking of ending it but it’s so hard to do. This gave me confidence. I’m glad there is a similar story. Thank you

@Sunshine75616 4 года назад

Thank you for this. You have addressed my biggest issue about breaking up. It's hard to admit, but I believe I am one who wants to be "the saint". I can't stand to see anyone hurt., especially when I feel responsible. You mentioned that that way of thinking is a bit narcissistic. I never looked at it that way before. Thank you for pointing that out.

@kristinehovemoen7888 2 года назад

Me too. I also have this "the saint" issue. Te Messia complex. And two times I have procrastinated the break up part, and gosh, it just makes everything so much worse; the fear of hurting the other person just builds up.. once You know that you know, you need to break up - dont pospont it, it is not healthy, and it just feed the unrealistic "saint" narraive with an indeed become narcissistic or self absorbed. I feel horrible for wasting my own and the other persons time.

@ikawn4975 2 года назад

@@kristinehovemoen7888 wow this is exactly what’s happening to me but today is the day. It’s going to suck but I know it’s for the better. Good luck 🤧

@bassgodgandhi6559 9 лет назад

This is some solid advice Matt, looking forward to my next break up :)

@BerryBeautifulLife 9 лет назад

lol

@Genericperson658 9 лет назад

Facepalm

@palyesse 9 лет назад

lmao! i love this comment

@Tadae323 9 лет назад

Let it be before your girl sees this video ;)

@greeeneyes91 8 лет назад

+Bass God Gandhi haha you're awesome :DD

@ChocoIand 9 лет назад

Timing is evil sometimes .. you meet the right guy in a totally wrong time and have to say your goodbyes then lots of guys shows up but you never can find anyone like that guy. And I always wonder why not that I am stuck wondering but I wonder why it happened this way? Or if I will ever meet someone that is just going to take his position in my heart .. why will I always love him the most? why he entered a place in my heart no one did before or after :/ .. love is a mystery sometimes.

@Star-vg7ix 4 года назад

This why I wish it would all end

@daniellamoreno3616 4 года назад

Yes been here as well.

@farwanqv 3 года назад

:( your comment made me remind something terrible.

@jammies6228 2 года назад

People change dude

@safiasaid1213 4 месяца назад

Im breaking up with my toxic boyfriend today I needed this

@anewloveofficial9137 6 лет назад

It's never easy to break up with someone but it's more painful than staying in a relationship where both of you are no longer happy. Just tell the truth because that's the only thing that will set you free.

@MrCrazyNinjadude 7 лет назад

I am about to break up with someone for the first time in my life, and I wanted to say thank you for this great video.

@f.a3923 7 лет назад

After watching this.. I know exactly what I should say tomorrow.

@LuisAguilar-jk7mn 7 лет назад

how did it go?

@Bhaggy_ 3 года назад

He chose violence

@deheyyo332 Год назад

"be careful because when we get lonely, we can end up making the wrong decisions" This is me, fight for nothing for 2 years and touture myself, ending up losing myself, my happiness and my life. Stay strong.. you are not alone okay. Its easier said than done, but love yourself first, that is very important!

@RareGem369 5 лет назад

If you really love someone always try to work it out first. Relationships are about compromise and growing together past each other's mistakes. But if you've exhausted all avenues then by all means do what you feel you have to do but at least let the person down easy. Do it face to face not by txt and give them the closure they need. Having your heart broken by someone you love is by far THE WORST thing that will ever happen to you in life. Don't just leave them hangin like an idiot that meant nothing.

@GoblinsAreAGirlsBestFriend Год назад

That is such specific advice, though, that doesn't just blanket apply to every couple and break up. Saying you must try to work it out first and compromise is required is all good and well in theory, but many people don't come to this point unless they have already given all they have and either fallen out of love or realized the compromise hurts them too much. Presuming people don't try is not a good way to approach the discussion - it keeps people in unhealthy relationships out of guilt, and people who leave too quickly will not suddenly change that inner problem after reading that. I wouldn't want someone to stay with me out of "duty" because they haven't tried everything yet when their heart is already out the door.

@RareGem369 Год назад

@@GoblinsAreAGirlsBestFriend You have a good point! But I’ve been on both sides of that sword and having to break someones heart also hurts! But go back and read my comment again and see where I said “after you’ve exhausted all avenues” Lol I’m only sayin this because 2 of my exes wanted to get back together, in fact they BEGGED me to take them back after they broke up with me because they realised that they made a mistake lol 😂

@veganforever9703 6 месяцев назад

I have tried but she works too much and her kids take too much time with one causing daily issues . I want peace and calm and have tried to make it better but she doesn't like to talk about It

@LD-xi1be 5 месяцев назад

How many times do you have to keep trying though just because you love someone...

@imeldataylor1440 8 лет назад

This made cry a lot

@nikivanoppens 6 лет назад

Thank you so much, Matthew. I broke up last night with my boyfriend and I indeed kept my one reason and stayed firm. He asked for another chance again and again and I needed to repeat it so many times. It was really tough. I am sure it was the right choice, but I am also really grateful for your videos on youtube, because it really helps and it feels like I am listening to a really good friend.

@dominicusbenacus 2 года назад

What was your one reason?

@joy_villa 3 года назад

Just broke off a 9 month relationship because he’s not ready for marriage and kids. He’s fantastic, but our timing is off. Being kind is definitely a big part of it!

@katrinakaye7997 5 лет назад

I'm breaking up with my boyfriend within the next few days. Thank you.

@devankmittal8311 4 года назад

Did you break up? btw why did you want to break up?

@farwanqv 3 года назад

What if the boyfriend saw this comment before she broke the news ? :)

@ashleyfontes3362 6 лет назад

Had me in tears at the end. All the advice I found previously in one spot, plus support. Thanks x

@LoveLeighization 7 лет назад

This is the best one on this subject that I've found. The rest I've watched have been redundant. I learned more here than the rest combined. Thank you!

@adhracabdul345 6 лет назад

His advice really works for someone who still loves their significant other, great video 👍

@dancekizomba8538 9 лет назад

Another great advice from Matthew! Stand for your opinion and really stick to your main reason if you want the person you are breaking up with to really understand you and accept it. This is true in love as well as in professional arguments. Thank you, Matthew!

@lydiakigalatsi2114 9 лет назад

I am 16 and obviously don't need that serious advices but I always admired your videos and everything you say because you find the deepest cause of people's behaviour...And I love how you use psychology to express the thoughts of both men and women. You are awesome!!

@razzleysavannah432 2 года назад

Thank you so much for this, I’m about to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years, and I am completely lost. I love him more than life itself, but we don’t work together. We have different views on a relationship, and that overall overrules the love. So thank you so much for this video:)

@annettenotarnicola 9 лет назад

Another great post! In general, it's sad more people do not act kind. A little kindness & compassion goes such a long way. You have such a wonderful way of explaining things too 👍

@katiegorney4139 8 лет назад

thank you so much for taking the time to make this video. also for being so understanding of both sides. this is advice I so desperately needed. thank you.

@twintipnation2758 Год назад

Watched this on Monday and it really helped me today. I'm heartbroken to have made this decision but at the same time some weight has been lifted. Good luck out there fellow humans.

@mmommo10 Год назад

I'm a paralegal. I learned on the job when presenting your case to the Court, ONLY offer 2-3 of your strongest points to tell the initial story in the complaint.

@ZooksZounds Год назад

I have never genuinely felt a positive influence that gave me strength. I felt your encouragement at the end of your message and it really made be feel that I will be ok. Mahalo, Matthew.

@itsbarclay9613 4 года назад

This is the 2nd or 3rd time since this video came out that I’ve (re)visited it and I just burst into tears when it ended. It’s horrible having to break up but just hearing you talk about it all gives me comfort. I know I’m doing the right thing in the right way. Tomorrow is going to suck for us both but I’m so thankful for your advice to minimise the pain. Wish me luck.

@viktormolleborn3146 Год назад

3 years later.. how did it go?

@itsbarclay9613 Год назад

@@viktormolleborn3146 it sucked man. Really sad with tears on both sides but it was done respectfully and helped both of us get through the next month or so of pain. I sat down with her at her place and then I could leave when I needed to and she had a safe place to stay. It’s hard to do but out of respect for the other person, doing it in the right way is the only way to do it.

@dchasehuneke 4 года назад

This is the most insightful, poignant, & powerful advice ever on how to fairly end a relationship.

@jalaj3798 8 лет назад

the best advice ive ever heard on this subject. thank you so much for sharing.

@scottynespas 2 года назад

Thank you so much Matthew. This video helped me so much with a break up. I am a very introverted person and your steps really made it easier.

@nicolennasharp2545 4 года назад

This is the most helpful advice I think you've ever given. I wish I watched this video before every breakup. Thank you ❤️

@B_sweet 6 лет назад

omg this is so deep and right. breaking up is really hard.

@rogermenjivar1438 6 лет назад

I love my partner but I just have so much on my plate: a relationship just makes it harder for me for so many reasons.

@frankhuzzer1680 5 лет назад

roger menjivar same here bro

@desmondokafor8724 3 года назад

Same here Bro

@shehanwarnakulasooriya9863 6 лет назад

Ok thanks dude im going to do it today ☺pray for me .

@BASEDinMaine 6 лет назад

Did you get it done? :)

@makenzielynch2132 5 лет назад

shehan warnakulasooriya me too

@davidpeterson5930 5 лет назад

How’d it go?

@chrisjorgji7786 5 лет назад

Rest In Peace

@puffinruffin7851 5 лет назад

@@chrisjorgji7786 lmao

@Steve_Buscemi_on_LSD 2 года назад

Man, I’ve struggled with this for awhile now and this video finally is giving me the courage to do it. We’ve grown apart but I feel really guilty, especially for our cats

@K4113B4113 4 года назад

Thank you Matthew. This video helped me tremendously. First time I tried breaking up with her, I was trying to be the good guy and I had a muddy list of reasons that she picked apart and tried to convince me it wasn't a problem. And when she wrote me the next day, tugging at my heartstrings I ended up getting back together with her. I dismantled my own weak arguments and convinced myself it could work and I only saw the good things and all that just like you said. It didn't work out (duhh!). So I broke up with her now and had only two fundemental reasons, any of which would have been enough on their own. I didn't try to be the good guy, instead I just said it like it was, removing any hope for a future while still being kind. It went over so much better this time. Thank you!

@37freeark 9 лет назад

Matthew you're just amazing, you don't know how much you're helping me right now.

@RunninChic620 2 года назад

Thank you Matt. This actually helped me simply turn a guy down after we began talking. That may seem easy to most-but this guy demonstrated repeated controlling behaviors that at first I didn’t catch but he attempted to mask them in charming actions-and he kept trying to push pass my boundaries. I used my voice and ended us talking and told home why. Proud of myself. Thank you Matt.

@erinmayb 6 лет назад

This was amazing advice! Thank you so much, I've been going through a very hard time because I was dating my best friend but after a while I just felt like there wasn't a spark anymore. And I haven't had the courage to break up with him because he's always been there for me and we honestly had no secrets but I just don't feel like we should be together as a couple. After watching this I plan to call him and tell him that I really believe that we should break up. Thanks again! And good luck to everyone else!

@flmf27 9 лет назад

Matt, I just can't believe it! (sorry for my english). Last month I decided to break up with my boyfriend and searched for video that could help me doing this in the right way. And I didn't find anything that could fit, so I just imagined what would you say, and I followed it. Guess what? Now, while I'm watching this I'm so proud of myself because I did what you've recomended. Thanks! One more thing, you must come to Portugal :)

@sebastianmanu 9 месяцев назад

Such an amazing message, full of love and compassion. And at the same time allowing to hold our ground, to be assertive. Thank you Matthew for a great work you do.

@MoonPrincess82 9 лет назад

Every word choice, order and selection has been pieced to perfection, Mathew. Very well done

@proverbs31teacher7 11 месяцев назад

Thank you so much for this advice! I had no idea how to end this relationship I am in. I tried avoiding him, but I knew that was not fair and very cowardly. My heart is so sad and broken, but I know continuing this relationship will never work. Thanks a Million times over! Also, I am over 60!and I never broke up with anyone. I have always been on the other side, and I remember how I felt. 🙏🏽 Thank you 😢

@daliaunis6428 7 месяцев назад

How did u get the strength to do it I’ve been trying to break up with him for months now and I just can’t 😭

@amalali529 7 лет назад

Stay strong, be brave, and do what you know is the right thing to do

@Bint_S 9 лет назад

Point number 3 stood out to me the most. We tend to make that mistake subconsciously. It's such a profound advice to keep in mind.

@F2SLJ 6 лет назад

I've looked up so many ways on how to go about this, all the while dreading the moment to arrive. My boyfriend and I even talked about this before and he was thinking about breaking up at a time where we havent yet tried to fix our problems.. A few days after that talk, here I am, realizing that our problems aren't problems that can be fixed. I really needed this. Thank you.

@estercungu1283 5 лет назад

Oh now I understand the part of the “ego”....I always made a huge mistake there...trying to be the good person and still be liked even though I was breaking up with someone! I’m sorry...I won’t do that mistake ever again...and I wondered why the other person called me “liar and deceitful”....maybe because I was always trying to be the good person! My bad...

@miarivel 7 лет назад

Great advice. I thought starting a fight with someone would be easier, it would be easier for them to hate me and have them walk away but I love the advice in this video.

@sonofdevil666 5 лет назад

it can be, BUT , as you do that they start to feel that they are losing you and try harder, until some point when they lose it, then relationship ended. Not really a good idea but it works.

@thatahamoment497 4 года назад

It works, if you want to destroy that person.... I had it done to me, and I was trying so much to fix things which of course didn't work until he finally admited that he wants to break up with me, but by that time I was already emotionally crippled... It took years to recover from that. I'd never do this to anybody...

@cmjx106 5 лет назад

Thank you so much for this. It was a lifesaver. I watched it before I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. I was so nervous but this helped me so much to finally do it and I even kept thinking back to it as I was doing it, as he got very angry and started coming up with a million reasons why he wanted out too...but stuck to my guns, kept it kind and simple, and let it rest.

@xMyPointlessChannelx 6 лет назад

Thank you Matthew. You and so many other people have helped me to break up in the best way I can. I did it in person. It was hard. It took me a few tries to actually get to the point. Thank you

@fanefox 9 лет назад

Perfect timing. I have been avoiding this video since you put it up. I cried the entire time I watched this. Thanks for saying what I needed to hear. Now, I need to work up the courage and composure to break up with the most wonderful man I've ever dated.

@josephmeetstravel9762 8 лет назад

how was it?

@fanefox 8 лет назад

+Joseph Meets Travel Well, I had decided to wait until the weekend, but he beat me to it. He ended up breaking up with me. It was fine at first, but then, I really wanted to undo it and started to backslide. It took me a good while to get over him, but I really have raised my standards since meeting him. I feel like I'm really getting better at noticing signs and weeding through guys I shouldn't date.

@josephmeetstravel9762 8 лет назад

+fanefox thanks for sharing. I'm going through a situation and might have to come to a conclusion soon. We are long distance most of the relationship for two years. I think I've made my decision.

@fanefox 8 лет назад

+Joseph Meets Travel Good luck :)

@dagliocchibui 4 года назад

I feel guilty for breaking up with my boyfriend and I’m also trying to still Be liked by him. Knowing he’s suffering breaks my heart every day and we end up chatting. I know this is wrong and I should find the strength to not contact him 😞

@deb0740 9 лет назад

Thank you soooo much, Matthew. Really needed to hear this message. I did the breaking up, and I love him very much. However, he is just not right for me. Thank you again.

@donnabel4480 6 лет назад

I am still fresh from breakup but upon watching this video, i realise that i did the right thing the right way of breaking up which Matthew talks about on this video for I was thinking that I what i did was wrong. since then, i keep on watching his videos and learn more not only for love but most all to my inner peace. thank you.

@faithmarie9861 9 лет назад

I have literally just spoken with my ex about the reason why I broke up with him 4 hours ago and although I regret not having seen this video prior to the conversation, I'm glad this came out. It is really very helpful especially for us people like us who still care about that person but can't continue being in a relationship with them. If ever he comes back to asking me again as to why I left him, I will definitely know what to say and do now that I've seen this. Thank you Matt. X

@pamelast76 9 лет назад

Thank you....now when my bf gets out of jail.....I can say “I am breaking up with you because you are abusive to me“

@hollyp3065 3 года назад

wow... I hope you broke up with him and are now safe and made the right decision for yourself

@Laedds 4 месяца назад

You have the only “how to break up” video on youtube , and its really well put together, thank you

@joitus 4 года назад

Sweet jebus this is so real and so true and helpful. Thank you, I feel very supported from this.

@samvortex2802 5 лет назад

Good video, still don't know when or if I'm gonna tackle this task. After all the promises of being together forever and being together through it all, seems impossible to break up...

@thegreengirl85 2 года назад

How did you go, did you end up breaking up?

@jaszi33 8 лет назад

thank you again Matthew for the great advice & sensitivity xx

@syamsays 11 месяцев назад

I have listened to the last few words 5 times. That's really amazing and supportive. Thank you..

@Sara-rl5fd 5 месяцев назад

I think not giving multiple reasons was the thing I definitely needed to know. The process of desicion definitely was not based on a single inconvenience but based on a chain of mistakes. But choosing the most important one that you know is a deal-breaker surely cleared my mind and had me be more determined while breaking up. Thank you. I am glad I watched your video.❤

@kevinyampi 8 лет назад

I am the one breaking up with my girlfriend from 3 months, it sucks major valls. She didnt do anything wrong, in fact she has been nothing but kind to me and she's a really nice person inside and outside, the problem is that I dont love her anymore... And I kept thinking that it was a "notgoodenough" reason for me to leave her, but there is just no love left for me to give and I am hurting for it. This video is really helpfull, felt like a TED Talk, I just wished that breakups weren't that hard to do.

@itazenin 7 лет назад

im in the same situation my dude

@benalichante1269 6 лет назад

Hey Dude! I can really relate, I feel like I'm in a similar situation. Do you regret breaking up now? how are things for you a year after?

@clarapuigdetorres-solanot8447 6 лет назад

Well as a girl that has been dating a guy who she felt did not love her anymore for a long time before that made me feel so bad that I dumped him I have to say you did the right thing. Feeling unloved in your relationship can really mess your self esteem up and bring you a lot of unnecessary suffering. Maybe she is sad now but I am telling you now, on her behalf, thank you for being brave and honest and not prolonging her suffering.

@breakingthemasks 6 лет назад

Clara Puig de Torres-Solanot ... Can you describe what made you feel unloved? I feel like this is an overlooked point... that it isn't merciful or kind to keep a relationship going "for the sake of the girl" when the love is gone. That breaking up can be the best course of action, still painful, but better than a slowly distancing relationship for no visible reason.

@clarapuigdetorres-solanot8447 6 лет назад

breakingthemasks Well, it was a bunch of different things. He did not put as much effort as he used to in making plans with me, he stopped wanting my opinion on important matters, he almost never call to talk when we hadnt seen each other during the day, he stopped caring about taking care of how he looked for me when we were meeting, he even kissed me and made love to me differently, like he was doing me some kind of favor but not really feeling anything. Like I have almost forgotten what a good kiss felt like. But when asked of course it was either stress for some other thing or me imagining things, it had nothing to do with us. Anyways, all of this would make me feel like I have done something wrong to make him distance himself. Like I was not good enough. It made me question my intelligence, my beauty, my emotional maturity to the point I fell into a sad apathy about everything. So yeah. If you think you have stopped to love someone, please break up with them before they have had they self esteem completely shattered.

@bigyeedhaw 8 лет назад

Thank you so much for this. I'm breaking up with someone I've been with for four months. We met on the Internet and have had video chats and they're someone who was a dear friend before we started dating. The hardest part is, they're still in love with me but for me... They've turned into my best friend again with just the occasional I love you thrown in. I'm not really feeling the connection anymore. Ive been putting this off for a week now, just trying to see if I could find something still there and I can't. I tried and some part of me still thinks things, in some other universe, or at some other time, would have worked out. I wish they had, but... Today will have marked a week, so it's time. I feel so bad for having led them on for this week and not having gotten it done sooner. I've found my fundamental reason and I'm going to stick with it. This advice helped so much, thank you.

@yagmurkara7380 8 месяцев назад

Thank you so much for your positive message at the and, i have just broken up with my boyfriend. We have been together for 3 and a half years, and our break up was pretty much like what you have suggested. Keeping a journal for your daily life and writing down your emotional state really helps spotting the issues, and by doing so, I made this desicion and i don't feel any regret. I think that this will prevent much more damage in the long run.

@pazabalobrien9516 6 лет назад

Needed this video like 3 years ago... thanks for expressing exactly what closure is all about

@gracieofgod8899 Год назад

I had my two fundamental reasons and meant to stick to them, but each time my partner tried to justify his behavior and I called him out, I effectively stacked a secondary reason for the break up. I felt bad for this because I never intended to lay out all our problems at once. What was helpful is that knowing my fundamental reasons helped me not to backslide. I was able to hold firm to the break up since he only ever tried to remedy my secondary concerns, not our fundamental problems.

@morganeverley7360 7 лет назад

Thanks my friend. I needed this. I am about to break up with my first love and I feel horrible but I know its for the best. He's about to get ready for college and he's stressed and I'm stressed and I just think I'm not ready for a relationship. I love him. I always will but......I kinda need to find myself now and so does he. I don't want him to worry about me during his studies and right now is just not the right time for either of us. Maybe in the future when we both matured more and solved our own problems but not now. I just hope he understands.....

@manpreetnanra3053 8 лет назад

Your videos and advices are incredible. You are the real man every girl is looking for!

@juicy1219 2 года назад

This was such a helpful and mature take. Great video.

@sds6303 Год назад

Yeah don’t gaslight yourself into going back especially if the relationship was toxic. A lot of people get lost in that euphoric recall & only remember the good times instead of the dysfunction.

@lifeflixx 7 лет назад

answered evrything that was spinning in my head thank you so much

@dylanbuchman8128 9 лет назад

Such good advice! 🙌🙌 the not trying to be the saint and not listing a bunch of reasons points particularly!👏👏

@zenajenniferabdul8196 4 года назад

Thank you ❤❤. This really saved my life. Coming from a background where such things are never spoken about . God bless you ❤

@areyouforreal1233 5 лет назад

I just wanted to say to anyone that is going through this right now that after watching Matthews videos i was able to deal with a break up in a totally different way that i myself never thought i was capable of doing....i never thought i could walk away from somebody i still loved as all my other relationships the love died at the point of breaking up so it was easier. But this guy was so different...he was my first ever boyfriend at school and we got together 20 years later. I really thought i had found my happy ending...l loved him so much and i still love him now. But he was not committing, constanly breaking up with me, always blaming me for the problems etc. So i knew the next time he broke up with me and deleted me off social platforms that i couldn't go on in this limbo. I was always the one running to him...crying...sitting outside his house...but one day it just clicked and i realised i had to break the cycle. He did make contact and told me he missed me....but what he wasnt banking on was me getting strong in the time he was away...not sat at home crying. I miss him and think about him all the time but at the same time i am so much stronger as a person. I started to do things everyday that i wouldnt do before. I started doing things for myself. And i now believe Matthew is right...there is no such thing as a soul mate...there are so many people you could meet in a lifetime that you will connect with again. Let your heart heal first xx

@abstractmistique 5 лет назад

I came across this video one hour after I broke up with my boyfriend who I've been with for the last 9 months...I tried to break up several times but he always changed my mind. The thing is we did not talk enough about the things that matter, things that frustrated us about one another and only had such conversations when we were on the brink of ending the relationship. We are different in terms of education, life aspirations and so on and I thought we are not compatible as individuals plus my family isn't showing support because they think I deserve something better...an equal...I don't know if it is the right thing to do. I feel helpless and I partly regret my decision and I want to be reassured it was the right thing to.

@debicrites7777 4 года назад

I just found this RU-vid video! It is spot on everything that I am going through! I’ve been with my boyfriend for 17 1/2 years! We have different goals in life. I just feel that it’s time to go and make me happy! It’s been 17 years of trying to do everything to make him happy! I can’t thank you enough! You are awesome! Thank you so much!

@chelseaw9355 4 года назад

I love you saying that you're in our corner. That means the most, thank you

@sophiab5260 4 года назад

Yes really

@Haruharu655 9 лет назад

You know, i revisited this video at a good time because my guy friend really needs this advice you've given. Thank you for uploading this :)

@smoothlibratalk7636 8 лет назад

I promise you just spoke the gospel I mean dead on. I have to do this and I will use these pointers.

@jennifersutton834 11 месяцев назад

This was very helpful, thank you. I am still struggling to make this happen in my life, but I know it needs to be done. I am terrified and this helped me see the logical standpoint clearly which I feel is essential in my confidence with following through with this.

@Funflmsify 9 лет назад

Bam! Bam! Bam! Nailed it, as usual. Thanks Matt. Excellent excellent advice. And a lot of this is helpful to all sorts of other situations in life. Like when we're pleading a case on anything, we need to distill it down and stick to those reasons (because it's easy to start naming all the reasons, even the weaker ones, and like you said, we'll start defeating our own case). You rock. :)

@ThandiPhiri 4 года назад

Thank you Matthew, heartbreaking as it was and will continue to hurt, I broke up with my boyfriend and gave one reason and stuck with it. Much as I had so much to say that really hurts me.. but anyway I had to do it.. Nice clean break..

@ooolanthonyy 8 лет назад

Or I could just post this on my facebook... Lol

@houdanour9290 8 лет назад

😂😂😂😂

@JustineCarissa 7 лет назад

Liz Reyes that was a good one lmaoooo

@ooolanthonyy 7 лет назад

I broke up with him already BTW!

@barbiedollblond 4 года назад

I did this once I shouldn’t have 😂😂😂

@van3ssa.f 5 лет назад

Thank you so much. I really needed it right now. I feel so bad the whole day already and just can't stop crying eventhough I was the one breaking up

@sue2311mm 9 лет назад

Matt thank you for nailing every problem we ever face when it comes to relationships. Could you please make a video about how to find your true colors and feel sexy with them? I think we tend to forget about how much we must care for ourselves first before getting the guy. Cheers!!

@hiphopy1000 8 лет назад

this was a really good piece od advice. thank you. my girlfriend deceived me. she is devious. she lied to me about several guyfriends that she got out with and i didn't know about his. I just found out about it. one of them tryed to kiss her but i can't be sure if she didn't want that to happen. i don't think she is loyal to me. i don't think she respectes me. she uses to have a lot of guyfriends she talks with and always tells me i have nothing to be concerned about... if she loved me and respected me she wouldn't have gone out with them in the first place and lie to me about it. i know that because i love her and i would never do things to my loved ones that would hurt their feeling or make them question my love for them... i tryed to break up with her yesterday, but she came to my house and cryed for 2 hours straight. She cut herself in my bathroom... then she told me she would commit suicide if i don't take her back. and she texted me all kinds of things about killing herself througout the day. i don't know what to do. i have forgiven her and i decided to give her one more chance because i am afraid that she might hurt herself... I am so confused right now. She hurt me a lot when she did those things behind my back... Even though I gave her a second chance yesterday I don't really believe that things are going to work this time. What should I do? Please help me. I really don't know what I should do....

@heathermimiwahlquist5587 8 лет назад

+Doru Cucuietu You call: THE NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE @ 1-800-273-8255 and tell them your story. They will know what to do. ALWAYS take a suicide threat seriously. Yes, she could be bullying you (yes bullying) to stay, but, tell her parents, tell her teacher, after all -you do love her. Safety first, dear Doru. DO NOT brush it off. ACT. Much love to you

@thebreeziestj3136 8 лет назад

I'm going through something similar with my boyfriend/father of my child. He loves me so much and also threatened suicide, and cut his wrists. I love him so much, but he didn't always treat,me how I deserved and needs to grow up a lot more. Anyway just let her know you still value her as a person and her life, but you are too hurt to continue giving %100 in the relationship. Be there for her if she needs it, BUT you also need to move on and offer the suicide prevention hotline

@tamaleofa6836 5 лет назад

This is a REAL eye opener!! I’ve come to realise that I need to find love in myself FIRST before I need to find love in someone else..that’s what I’ve found out later on in my relationship. I noticed that I’ve really rushed things in the relationship that I’m currently in just so I could fill in this empty hole inside but overtime it still feels like I have the same empty feeling!! My partner is an ANGEL!! But she does not deserve this kind of relationship where it’s only one sided...pls help?? Any advice on what I should do or say to her when I have the guts to tell her???