If you are in Texas require the bear to fill a legal document in that it says it will attack you this will give you 24 hours before the crime is committed upon you get this time to get a sanctioned legal document to have a fight and when you fight use the Texas sword law assuming you are 18 or older to openly carry a sword use that sword to cut its eyes out and make a rug
If you can not do this leave Texas head more New Mexico and go for its grandparents home then cause it to have a mental breakdown because he or she thought they were dead
I mean, in a real situation with a polar bear you might as well say your last words because they will kill you if they wanna. And oh man do they wanna in our situation.
@@QueenFondueOh good. You can also scare them off by offering them something like schweppes, at which point they realise the beverage is not from coca cola and they will either run away or have a sip and die immediately
I met a black bear when I was in the Boy Scouts on a camp out. Real nice chap, decided to get his life together and went back to school. Still writes me to this day, swell fellow.
@@lukasmuller6206 Well yeah, everything is just standard practice when confronted by a bear, what they didn't teach you about the great bear war against kuzvoxian in school?
In my general opinion, most people disrespect Bing and treat it as a minority, and joke against Google. I am aware that Google has more popularity, but mistreating Bing for the fact that it is NOT Google is truly unfair.
As an avid hiker for two decades in the Blue Ride Mountains, I have come across many black bears and not once have I had to resort to standing up to them. They have always looked at me and wandered off in a benign manner
The most underrated joke in this video is the part about polar bears being generally friendly. They will literally kill you no matter what because they have no natural enemies
This is seriously the most insanely well-developed humor I have ever seen, and I could bearly breathe from incontrollable laughter! Now we all need a video on how to survive a laugh-attack, but that might just finish us off...
On a serious note, i actually think that this wouldnt work, the bear could probably go after you next or just choose you as his prey and forget about the slower one, i am self aware about this being a joke so i retract the ability to type r/whoosh *r/whoosh is now unable to be typed
Oh, he is just sad his dad asked how his relationship with his dad is which sows how much his dad remembers him Tell your kid everything is going to be ok
This is so helpful and more people should know about this! I got into a fight with a bear and he ended up trauma ranting to me. I am now the leader of the rotuva prime and has safely returned to earth.
@@Arslan35 He did, the game finished with he and 3 bears still standing. He was then allowed into the inner circle of the bears, as a sign of respect. He’s in so deep with them now he appears like a bear to the naked eye. Upon closer inspection it can be realized he is modifying his own genetic makeup to better blend in, but he is still very much human. He will soon board the spaceship and follow through with these steps.
It's actually surprisingly straightforward to take down a bear with a well-placed spear thrust. Spear hunting bears is a pretty traditional thing. I would rather not find myself in a life or death scenario, but if I had to I'd rather fight a grizzly with a spear than play dead and hope he gets bored of breaking my bones like di Caprio.
Me: Lives in the northeast USA where our parents teach us this from when we could basically fit into a single bear nom:. Also me: But what if every one i ever met was wrong......
*reads video title* “Oh, this might come in handy one day, let’s see” “Step 8, *_Help rescue the bear’s family from the enslavement of the Kuzvoxian Nanites”_* “...wait wha-“
0:22 "The Grizzlies are basically unstoppable, and your only chance is to play dead." The bear be like "cool acting dude, let's make it more convincing"
Ask the bear these questions: - What is Obama’s last name ? - What is Victoria’s Secret? - What does IDK mean? - What is the airspeed/velocity of a sparrow?
I have the equation to find the velocity written down somewhere... I also have the African Swallow's air speed velocity written down in a different journal simply because I don't want to be sent into that damn pit
Step 1: Determine the type of Bear that is before you. Step 8: Help rescue the bear’s family from the enslavement of the kuzvoxian nanites. Step 15: Return to earth
Bear: ROAR!!! Me: Ah, a challenge? My honor demands I accept. Wife: Honey maybe we shou- Bear: ROAR!!!!! Me: Don’t interrupt my wife you ruffian! How uncouth. Don’t worry sweetheart, this isn’t the first bear I’ve fought. Not even the second. Wife: Wha- why? Me: I’ve watched a RU-vid video, there’s no need to fear. I know all their weaknesses. GET OFF MY PLANET INVADER!!!
Fun Facts: The reason you can't play dead with a black bear is because they are scavengers and will just eat you anyways. Bear Spray becomes much less effective in windy and rainy conditions, noise is still the best preventative countermeasure. We would take air horns with us on surveys. Knifes and Machetes are the best combative measure if things escalate and you aren't the team leader with the rifle. But if you don't know how to properly swing a machete it's more likely to bounce back and injure you. A bear really needs to be in a bad spot or feel cornered to have a go at a human. Keep in mind it's likely more afraid of you and gain confidence from that. Black mail is a dirty but effective tactic. If you can stealthily get a candid photograph of the bear in an embarrassing position, say getting slapped in the jowl by a salmon it was trying to catch, don't be afraid to use this as leverage in negotiations with the bear. Communicate that you will broadcast the photos to the bears in the surrounding territories, so his only option is to grant you safe passage or be ostracized by the bear community. If you play your cards right you can even force the bear to become a servant under you through a honey pot scheme. We call these Pooh Bears.
@@FullMetalChains jokes on you he was our by far best soldier, thats what happens when ur trying to be normal Civilized European Boi but The Slavic Blood kicks im
This is very helpful. I just survived that failed parachute and fell into some nearby trees. Turns out, that was home to some black bears. Now we are besties
How i'd become taller in this situation: Step 1: take hoodie off Step 2: grab long stick Step 3: hold the hood with stick Step 4: wave around Step 5: make a nation with the flag design being your hoodie Step 6: become a famous and amazing mayor of your little town Step 7: point and laugh at the bear for being poor
