How Vicky changed her approach to insomnia when sleeping pills stopped working after 20 years (#43)

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Vicky dealt with her insomnia by taking sleeping pills and this seemed to work well until one night, after 20 years of regular use, the medication didn't help her sleep.
This led Vicky to think that something was wrong with her. She felt alone. She felt that without getting the amount of sleep she wanted to get, she would be unable to take care of her children and she wouldn't be able to be the person she wanted to be or live the life she wanted to live.
She started to experience a lot of anxiety and would wake up in the middle of the night and have panic attacks.
This all led Vicky to explore a new approach to insomnia that involved letting go of the struggle. She began to recognize that difficult thoughts and feelings, although very unpleasant, didn't need to prevent her from doing things that mattered - so she didn't need to engage in a battle with them.
Vicky started to allow her mind to think what it wanted to think and to generate the full range of human feelings and emotions. She started to acknowledge and make space for thoughts and feelings - even though she often wished they weren't showing up - instead of going to war with them.
She committed to doing things that were important and meaningful even after difficult nights and even in the presence of uncomfortable thoughts and feelings.
Today, Vicky still experiences some difficult nights from time to time but she is no longer engaged in an exhausting and distracting battle with her mind throughout the day and throughout the night.
She is living the kind of life she wants to live even when difficult nights happen and even when uncomfortable thoughts and feelings show up. In fact, Vicky now thinks of her insomnia as a gift - as something that has helped her become more resilient and better able to react in a more workable way to the difficulties we all experience as human beings.
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My name is Martin Reed and I am the founder of Insomnia Coach®. I offer sleep coaching services that give people with insomnia all the skills and support they need to enjoy better sleep for the rest of their lives. I also offer a free two-week sleep training course for people with insomnia at insomniacoach....
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All content found on the Insomnia Coach RU-vid channel is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. The statements and opinions expressed by guests are their own and are not necessarily endorsed by Insomnia Coach LLC. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
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Опубликовано:

18 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 89

@InsomniaCoach Год назад

All content found on the Insomnia Coach RU-vid channel is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. The statements and opinions expressed by guests are their own and are not necessarily endorsed by Insomnia Coach LLC. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

@chrisaaron8831 Год назад

Great intent Martin, invaluable to anyone struggling with chronic insomnia

@InsomniaCoach Год назад

Thank you - I appreciate that!

@camus585 Год назад

Hi Martin, I haven't watched your contents in a while. I just came to say thank you for all the incredible information you're giving. I had a terrible insomnia due to my anxiety during covid lockdown and your videos helped me tremendously to get better and now I'm doing great thanks to you. God bless you 🙏 ❤️

@InsomniaCoach Год назад

Thank you so much - I appreciate you sharing! Your words mean a lot to me.

@andrewb50 Год назад

Nice to hear her story, this video has come in a very rough time for me, insomnia is kicking my arse.

@InsomniaCoach Год назад

I hope this video was helpful, Andrew.

@chriscocores Год назад

Hang in there bud. Same 💪🏼

@jacobfrantzmonster Год назад

my wife has become a new person through these programs she has struggled with insomnia for years and is now getting the sleep she needs

@InsomniaCoach Год назад

That's wonderful to hear! Thank you so much for sharing, Jacob!

@leejongsukkiosk2281 Год назад

It's been 1 year, Martin saved my life.

@newvolumee773 Год назад

How, Daniel and his community over at the Sleep Coach School says that CBT-i does not work, and that it is really bad for the person to try.

@InsomniaCoach Год назад

Wow, powerful words there! I appreciate them! I only provide information and coaching - you were responsible for implementing what you learned. So, really, you saved your own life!

@InsomniaCoach Год назад

@@newvolumee773 Evidence proves that CBT-I can be highly effective. CBT-I can trip some people up since it can be used with the intent of generating sleep, avoiding wakefulness, or changing the thoughts and feelings that are generated by the mind - all things that can't be directly controlled. The more we try to control what cannot be controlled, the more we might find ourselves tangled up in a struggle. That's why the focus of my work now is more aligned with acceptance and commitment coaching. It's geared more toward exploring ways of moving away from the struggle with insomnia - moving away from trying to make sleep happen, trying to get rid of wakefulness, trying to fight or avoid all the difficult thoughts and feelings that come with it, while moving toward living the kind of life we want to live (even in the presence of all this difficult stuff). That's because all the effort to control sleep or what we're thinking and feeling can require an immense amount of energy and attention - and that can make it harder to do things that matter to us. And, since we cannot directly control sleep or what goes on in our minds, it can make all this difficult and unpleasant stuff even more difficult and unpleasant.

@newvolumee773 Год назад

@@InsomniaCoach That is the same thing that Trevor taught and pretty much the same thing as Daniel, neither of which are effective for someone with Severe Chronic Insomnia. These teachings may help the individual who has minor insomnia/sleep disruption or the hypochondriac about sleep (phobia). To be honest though, like I mentioned...nothing cures (severe chronic insomnia) once you have it, you always will. Severe insomniacs can go through phases of good sleep and they might think they're cured, but it's just laying dormant (Chris' story). But it will come back, it always does. You keep mentioning this controlling sleep, or what I'm thinking or feeling. I worked hard on those very things for 2+ years now, and I'm still in the same position I was prior to starting their courses. Well in a way, my sleep is worse. I don't try to control sleep (it just rarely comes). I don't sleep for 3-4 nights...then if I'm lucky I get a crash night, then the process repeats. The human body is not designed for that. The past 3 years have been the worst and it has totally destroyed my body. Some people might be able to function better on 24, 48 or 72 hours then others. I can't, boy have I tried. I just had to accept that this is my fate. My body is telling me that I don't have much time left. You have an obligation as a sleep coach who is collecting a payment from people to tell your audience the truth. Are you a severe insomniac? Could you imagine an alcohol counselor who's never drank in their life. Don't take it from me...talk to Hugo, Leighton, Pat, Janessa, and Chris and many other severe insomniacs...they'll all tell you the same. There are a few others that I won't mention because I swore their story with me secret. They did recovery stories with Daniel but aren't, it's all for show. I would also encourage you to not sleep for the next 72hrs. Then on the fourth night you can sleep for 3-6 hours. Then repeat that process for a month. It would be an interesting experiment, to see how you hold up. You coaches really have no idea what's going on, you're just guessing, and that is not fair and to be honest wrong on many levels. Think of all the people that believed in you (cbt-i) with all their heart, to now read that "it might not be as effective for everyone" as you thought. Those people who wondered "why am I not getting any better" but they were still paying you. Hugo informed me of the lies that were going on with the sleep coach school. These people are being duped, well not everyone but a certain percentage are for sure. Anyone that has been in the pits of hell with this disease wouldn't charge a soul for the cure. If I had it I would give it away for free. Could you imagine charging someone not to suffer any longer. But I have to remember this is business and there are no feelings in business.

@InsomniaCoach Год назад

@@newvolumee773 Thank you for sharing your thoughts, experience, and opinion.

@andrewb50 Год назад

I agree with her, the night is so long and lonely with insomnia, you look out the window and all lights are off this in itself induces panic. I take magnesium and L-theanine and it’s stopped working this last week, sleep has become the number one concern in my life for the past few years, I’ve cried like baby, begged all types of gods and set sleep hygiene. Life really blows when you dealing with insomnia.

@namrahshah3256 Год назад

Don't worry, we are in the same boat ⛵

@InsomniaCoach Год назад

Insomnia is tough, no doubt about it. And, you aren't alone.

@newvolumee773 Год назад

Sad part is, it will most likely never go away. I've had it for 10 years. I've tried it all and insomnia is always present. I might get a day or two where I sleep good and feel good, then I'm thrown right back into the pits of hell. I can't work, life really sucks now. I tried Trevors coaching and that didn't work. He doesn't even have a channel anymore (it was probably a scam). I then tried Daniels coaching and it didn't work either (probably a scam as well). I was going to try Martins approach but Daniel and his community says it doesn't work and that it is bad for you. I shouldn't believe them but nothing has worked and I don't have much money anymore.

@InsomniaCoach Год назад

@@newvolumee773 I think that for as long as our goal is something that we can't directly control (for example, getting a certain amount or type of sleep) we can end up setting ourselves up for a struggle (and disappointment). One way we can focus on actionable goals involves exploring *why* we want to get a certain amount or type of sleep. What would we be doing (or doing more of) if we were getting the amount (or type) of sleep we wanted to get? Not thinking or feeling, but doing? When we uncover that, we can start practicing a way of moving away from trying to control sleep (and all the difficult stuff that comes with it that's out of our control) and toward doing these things that matter to us, things that are aligned with our values, and that move us toward the kind of life we want to live. If we can practice moving away from the struggle that comes with trying to control all this really difficult stuff that's out of our control, we might find that we also free up some energy to do more of the things that matter to us. And, the more we live a life that's aligned with our values and that involves doing things that are important to us (independently of sleep and all the difficult stuff that comes with insomnia) the less of a focus all the difficult stuff might be. The less influence it might have over us. All of this is, of course, far easier said than done - but I am not sure what a more workable approach would be.

@newvolumee773 Год назад

@@InsomniaCoach This is all the same stuff that I heard during Trevor and Daniels courses. This does not work.

@adama2448 Год назад

Nice to hear success stories. I am wondering why is it that before insomnia, I wouldn’t need to be sleepy to fall asleep but all of a sudden, with insomnia we need to be very sleepy to actually sleep. Why is this?

@newvolumee773 Год назад

I'm pretty sure they don't know the exact reason.

@InsomniaCoach Год назад

Great question! Heightened sleepiness is more likely to overpower arousal. Since insomnia is associated with high levels of arousal (often caused by all the understandable effort to make sleep happen or attempts to fight or avoid the difficult thoughts and feelings that often come with insomnia), people with insomnia might require more sleepiness to be present in order for sleep to happen.

@jassik4142 Год назад

Nice to hear vicky ‘s story.

@InsomniaCoach Год назад

Agreed - I think she was a great guest to have on!

@garysimone4977 Год назад

15mg of ambien is a heavy dose, she was fortunate that is appears she had no major withdrawal issues, , but sooner or latter the body says no more , sometimes it 3 months sometimes 20yrs , in all people sooner or latter the pill stops working , just a matter of time. How I know all this Great podcast , 3 yrs heavy dose of the crap SO TRUE VERY TRUE ABOUT THE NIGHT, SPOT ON !!!!

@InsomniaCoach Год назад

Many people find that medication "works" - until it doesn't!

@garysimone4977 Год назад

@Insomnia Coach so very very true

@freedomliberty83 Год назад

Hi Martin, what do you think of Cranial electrotherapy stimulation (CES) for sleep. There are quite a few peer reviewed studies that show this helps with anxiety and insomnia.

@InsomniaCoach Год назад

I don't have any opinion on it, to be honest. The focus of my work is on behavior change since it's often our behaviors that can create a struggle and make things more difficult (and insomnia is usually perpetuated by all the effort we engage in to make sleep happen).

@garysimone4977 Год назад

YOU TRY CES

@user-is7ly9oo2p Год назад

Hello Martin I read many comments that people with nosleep for 8 days this type of comments make me anxious that if I will not able to sleep so long. How can I convince my self

@InsomniaCoach Год назад

No need to convince yourself of anything! Not many people make it to 8 days with no sleep whatsoever! Sleep will always happen, no matter what, when we've been awake for long enough. It often takes sleep longer to show up the more we chase after it, trying to make it happen.

@newvolumee773 Год назад

Hi Martin, I was going to try your service but Daniel and his community over at The Sleep Coach School says that CBT-i does not work. They say that it is really bad to try. Now I am left with nothing. He has ruined all my hope.

@johnmonk3381 Год назад

@@newvolumee773 since your insomnia is hopeless why bother seeking help? And your insomnia is really hopeless imo. No wonder you have so much trouble sleeping, from your style of speaking no wonder you are so attached to something it drives you really mad. Some people are beyond hope and i would confidently and positively say you are one of those really unlucky and unfortunately extremely hopelessly ignorant ones

@newvolumee773 Год назад

@@johnmonk3381 John you never had insomnia. Here is your quote from Daniels channel "at my worst I still slept 6 hours a night". How crystal clear does one have to make it, you never had insomnia to begin with yet here you are telling people how to handle theirs? You call people over on Daniels channel "annoying" and tell them to "stop complaining". Why are you here then? You are not a coach, quit trying to be one. Trevor was a fraud and Daniel is a fraud as well. Chronic Insomnia does not go away. Look at Chris, Hugo, Janessa, Saniya, Pat, Michelle. This is just a quick list of some of Daniels "success stories" that were never cured and still aren't. I have email correspondence with 3 of that 6 that I mentioned verbally admitting that weren't recovered even when they did their success story claiming they were. I'm just a hair trigger away from unloading the emails. I will admit the three mentioned were very nice to me and I would hate to throw them under the bus, however...I'm not going to sit around and let Daniel and you spread all this false information. So answer the question John since you know everything. Is Martin a fraud too?

@johnmonk3381 Год назад

@@newvolumee773 they're all frauds. Why does it matter as far as you are concerned? Nothing can save you. You're just doomed in your miserable pathetic life of insomnia, that's what you're saying to other people literally

@newvolumee773 Год назад

@@johnmonk3381 Just stop John. You're the equivalent if I were to join a Cancer chat and tell them to "stop complaining" call them "annoying" tell them "it's all in their heads" (like you do) when I never had cancer but I got a sunburn once. Like seriously, why are you here? You had a few bad nights of sleep and now you're an insomnia expert???

@newvolumee773 Год назад

@@johnmonk3381 That literally made no sense. Stop for a second...breathe....gather your thoughts John. You can read, right? You are not coherently replying to what I wrote. None of that had anything to do with what I said. You understand you call people names, right John? You've called people "annoying", you've told people to "quit complaining". Do you remember these things? Yet you never had insomnia. You understand sleeping 6 hours a night isn't insomnia. Maybe you don't. Well it isn't. So what gives you the right to critique anyone when you never had what you're critiquing??? Can you understand how that makes 0 sense and even if you did have it, you shouldn't be talking to people like that. But I understand why you do. You just want to be heard. Like I said, go to the sleep disruption videos. And to be honest I don't even think you had sleep disruption. 6 hours a night, why were you even complaining in the first place. You need to take a long hard look in the mirror John and quit talking to people like you're their superior. You internet bully.

@willofdodong4513 Год назад

There is an easier way just simply practice yoganidra, at first its hard, but later on if you develope the skill. Then enjoy ☺️

@InsomniaCoach Год назад

Thanks for sharing.

@joswa4680 Год назад

Plsss tell how it affects our with no sleep. Because in my case, my head and eyes is really affected. I feel energetic the only problem is my eyes and head. Plsss if it's normal. I'm 2 weeks of poor sleep. Sometimes i directly dream and suddenly wake up after 30 minutes. Plssss tell me if this insomnia?

@InsomniaCoach Год назад

Only a doctor can give you a medical diagnosis. Have you shared your concerns about your head and eyes (and your sleep) with your doctor?

@garysimone4977 Год назад

How was the wirhdrawel from the ambien

@InsomniaCoach Год назад

I think what helped Vicky was her recognition, from her own experience, that medication wasn't proving to be a long-term solution for her.

@garysimone4977 Год назад

Yes when people decide to come off it's usually 3 things happen drug. stoped working, or inter dose wd hit or yes not a long-term solution

@LouellaMagtajas Год назад

@@garysimone4977Hi gary, how are yoi doing right now? Is sleep getting better?

@LouellaMagtajas Год назад

@@garysimone4977Hi gary- can you sleep now? How log were you off ambien?

@ME-br6lt Год назад

I wonder if you could provide a short summary video or text for this for those of us who can't watch these long videos. Thank you.

@InsomniaCoach Год назад

A brief summary can be found in the description under each video. You can also read the transcripts by going to the podcast section of my website at insomniacoach.com/podcast - here's a direct link to this episode (the transcript can found below the episode summary): insomniacoach.com/vicky-insomnia-gift-sleeping-pills-stopped-ep43/

@monty7586 Год назад

I use to have fear of heart rate increasing and sleeping ocd but is cured it but now when i lay down to sleep i get panic attack without any reason how can i fix it

@tombellamy4857 Год назад

The first time you had a panic attack in bed for no reason, it was probably a one off, which can happen for no reason at times, or maybe you had a random negative thought and your bodies adrenaline response kicked in etc. From that point your subconscious brain probably remembered this happening in bed so started to view the bed as a negative place which triggers further panic attacks. You react to this be completely allowing the panic attack to flow through you and not react to it. A man who describes this really effective tactic is Barry McDonagh, he has a book called DARE, but he also has loads of free RU-vid videos. Martin Reed (this channel) also has brief RU-vid videos about things like that, that manifest at bed time too.

@monty7586 Год назад

@@tombellamy4857 tysm for telling why im having this i was thinking i had developed somthing so serious and im never gonna be fine again your comment helped me so much dude thx

@tombellamy4857 Год назад

@@monty7586 No problem at all. I've been there and know how it feels to think there's something wrong. But, nope, your brain and body are absolutely fine, you're just getting an adrenaline response at an inappropriate time, but that's all, and it's completely reversible with basic cognitive training

@monty7586 Год назад

@@tombellamy4857 ty for telling me this was my only problem left in anxiety recovery i had overcome ever other problems its been like 3 weeks since i have felt anxious only panik attack at night was my problem now after reading your comment im feeling now i can even overcome this also

@InsomniaCoach Год назад

@@tombellamy4857 Thank you for your kind words and support.

@garysimone4977 Год назад

She was very lucky she did not get PAWS nor severe WD ...

@InsomniaCoach Год назад

Everyone is different, right? Some people have a better experience than us, some people have a worse experience than us. We can't control what other people experience. We can't even always control what we experience. We can only control our own actions.

@garysimone4977 Год назад

@Insomnia Coach much easier said then done big time and when you are in PAWS you have little or no control over flight or fight due to damage done to one's transmitters...thus why one is very lucky not to get thrown into PAWS .It IS HELL

@InsomniaCoach Год назад

@@garysimone4977 I don't think anyone ever has control over their fight or flight response. We can only control how we respond to it when it shows up.

@garysimone4977 Год назад

@Insomnia Coach correct Martin, but I when you are thrown into post acute withdrawal uour fight / flight transmitters are down regulated thus you have no control of the awful anxity as again your transmitters have been deregulated, off line and one sufferscuntil they actually re grow The brain has lost the ability to regulate xwjole flight or fight transmitters.

@InsomniaCoach Год назад

@@garysimone4977 It's one of those really difficult things that cannot be directly controlled, right? So, you're faced with a choice - try to fight or avoid it all (which can set you up for struggle since it's something you cannot control) or practice responding to it in a different way that might help you develop skill in moving away from the struggle so you can better do things that matter.

@garysimone4977 Год назад

Sooner or latter the pills stop working the body adapts

@InsomniaCoach Год назад

Thanks for sharing, Gary.

@LouellaMagtajas Год назад

Hi @garysimone4977 can you sleep now?

@garysimone4977 Год назад

@LouellaMagtajas yes. I don't fall asleep till late AM BUT GET 5 HRS and that is good since retired I can sleep to 9-10am. I lo9k at sleep so different now Tapping has been a big help

@LouellaMagtajas Год назад

@@garysimone4977 That is good to hear gary. are all your withdrawal symptoms gone ar this point?