How we Work and Parent Differently with Melanie Murphy

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How do Melanie and I manage self-employed work and parenting differently? 🤔 Since the last time Mel and I filmed together, we both got married and we both had kids so a LOT has changed 😅 This time we sat down for a q&a video about the different ways we managed self-employed maternity leave and work with a baby!
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Video we filmed on Mel's channel: • Reacting to PARENTING ...
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CHAPTERS
00:00 - Intro
01:50 Q&A
26:40 - Wrap-up
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Опубликовано:

9 июл 2024

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Комментарии : 95

@agirlwithajournal Год назад

Hannah looked so disappointed when Melanie said she wasn't planning post baby content the second time. 😂😂

@elizabethroyerjohnson4992 Год назад

Yes! Just pausing the video quick to say that it’s wild how people forget that the vast majority of parents have to make decisions based on what they CAN do, not exclusively on what they WANT to do. And it’s weirdly tempting when you’ve made a parenting decision, to go back later and act like of course that was the objectively right decision for everyone - and totally forget the whole weighing of pros and cons and the ( likely extensive) decision making process that you went through to arrive at that decision.

@ireallyreallyhategoogle Год назад

In an ideal society, all parents could do what's best for the children, but unfortunately we live in a society of overprivileged and underprivileged.

@hamba1998 Год назад

'Name a hobby' - I feel attacked 😂 It's so nice to see the two of you happy making a video together again though!

@morehannah Год назад

Hahaha same 😂😭

@ireallyreallyhategoogle Год назад

Sleeping is a hobby for parents.

@ireallyreallyhategoogle Год назад

@@morehannah Sleeping is a valid hobby.

@roseblack3436 Год назад

Love how you two are basically opposites when it comes to planning 😂

@TeganxxxBobbyDazzler Год назад

As someone with ADHD, totally empathise with Melanie's chaotic productivity (don't know if she has ADHD, just saying that I relate!). It's very hard to remember to make a to-do list let alone use it, and the procrastination/panic working cycle is hard to get out of, especially when you have other responsibilities.

@susandejong93 Год назад

Hi Hannah, it would be great to see a video about raising a child without a village. I'm due with baby #2 now and as we live overseas, we also don't have nearby support.

@katherinegouwens5769 Год назад

As a starting out small biz owner, I have been learning SO much from Hannah in the last year about revenue streams, organization, planning, etc! Thanks so much, please keep making the nerd videos like this that give a glimpse into self employment:)

@leirem0 Год назад

I have a 1 year old and 2 year old (who was born just before the pandemic), and two of my best friends are pregnant at the moment. This is like watching me (I'm Mel) and one of my pregnant friends (who's Hannah) in the future... we go about things so differently 😅 I was the first one of my friends to have children and I found it really difficult becoming a mum (especially when the pandemic hit and I was home alone with my baby for months on end). Your description of motherhood being the Upside Down is GENIUS. I have never quite felt like my friends have understood the intensity of the early days of parenthood - and while I had NCT friends, they're quite a lot older than me, so I did feel quite lonely and missed my existing (child-free) friends. I am going to hold onto your Upside Down metaphor for when they have their babies because it's the perfect description of how your eyes are opened to this entiiiiiirely new world which is so all-consuming. Thank you so much for a great video!

@morehannah Год назад

aaaw so glad the upside down metaphor is useful!! I feel like everyone has a "Melanie" or a "Hannah" in their friendship/relationship dynamics! 😂

@cephinisemodestin3348 Год назад

19:02- As someone who watches a lot of different people do/learn a lot of different things, there's nothing I love more than learning alongside the creator.There's a certain, child-like curiosity that comes with learning something new, and that curiosity paired with the documentation and sharing of what you've learned makes for great content. I think learning alongside your viewers and not always having to be the expert all the time makes for a more genuine connection. That's just how I see it.

@smileyface702 Год назад

Definitely agree!

@SamarkandChan Год назад

Loved this video, Melanie very much has the approach to life as my girlfriend and I'm definitely more like Hannah. The amount of times I tell her "but why isn't it in the calendar?!" ahhaha. Still love her though. 🌈 💛 She's a classically trained soprano singer and I work as a stage manager at a theatre, so we are very much stereotypes of our jobs. 🎭

@morehannah Год назад

There will always be a Hannah and a Melanie in every friendship/relationship 😅😅

@sabrinahughes8352 Год назад

omggggg it's been so long!!!! love seeing you two together again!!!!

@cross5063 Год назад

Not to be negative but the vast majority of people get state maternity benefit of six months in Ireland, not a year as Melanie says here. It's 245 euro per week and your employer can choose to top that up or not depending where you work. I know that bring freelance has its own challenges, but making a sponsored video is hardly the same as 'going back to work ' if your work involves leaving the house or collaboration with other colleagues or something like that, or shift work. Obviously we all juggle but most people work after six months because they have to, or in some cases stop work be ause childcare is so expensive. Obviously there's lots of SAH patents by choice out there too and that's great, but just to say it's not the same as your average mat leave and work responsibilities if you're a content creator who makes content mostly about their own life or experience.

@melaniemurphyofficial Год назад

There are certainly countries doing it better than Ireland (and our viewers are based all over) but according to citizen’s information ‘As an employee, you have the right to take 26 weeks' maternity leave if you become pregnant. You also have the right to take up to 16 weeks' additional maternity leave. You can take this time off work from full-time, casual or part-time employment. It does not matter how long you have been working for your employer.’ I mean … I’d genuinely have killed for almost a year of just focusing on my baby. Of course I could have saved in advance and set aside the time and money, but as we chatted about, in this industry you might come back to no job! Also, what you said above essentially insinuates that people who work from home from a computer don’t work/that their work is less valuable. Writing is work, editing video content is work, coming up with video ideas and being on camera is work. All of these things are things that people do as their full time job and many RU-vidrs juggle these jobs. That doesn’t mean it’s harder for us, but it also doesn’t mean our work doesn’t count simply because a lot of it isn’t visible work.

@cross5063 Год назад

@@melaniemurphyofficial the sixteen optional additional weeks are unpaid. Again, it's six months state mat leave, not a year.

@khia7676 Год назад

@@melaniemurphyofficial 16 weeks leave is unpaid. You might put up a video a video a week or take an Instagram ad every once in a while. Some RU-vidrs have various jobs on the table at once such as podcasting, RU-vid videos, Collabs, advertising. Speaking on panels etc so more to juggle/more hours. But largely your particular job title doesn't take longer than a few hours a week which doesn't equal the same experience of working mothers averaging a 40 HR work week. Let's be honest.

Год назад

It's fair to point out that it's not "most" people who get a year of maternity, though certainly many companies offer full pay for 6 months and have other options beyond that point. But I think the salient point is that even if your pay is hugely reduced (i.e. 26 weeks of the dole and 16 weeks of no pay) your job is legally required to still be there for you when you get back. Those who are self-employed and reliant on something as fickle as a RU-vid audience and algorithm do not have that luxury. Yes, it's possible to keep things ticking over with fewer hours of work, but there is still a huge disadvantage in not being able to fully put all of that work stress aside as many people can, at least for a time.

@MeganSmithers Год назад

i thought it was crazy when she said that. i’ve only known one person (in america) to actually have PAID maternity leave, & it was 3 months. which i thought was a really long time 😂 i work at a childcare facility & we get a lot of 6 week olds bc that’s as long as people can afford to take off before having to get back to work

@catsandstrawberries Год назад

Awww so nice to see the two of you together and so interesting to see how differently you approach things :D

@MiriLikesYoutubing Год назад

Loved seeing you two together again and how differently you do things

@treefrog1018 Год назад

Thank you for this video. I did my dishes while this was playing. Time flew by!

@nadine6153 Год назад

What a lovely video! So nice to see you both together again!

@vildekongtorp5569 Год назад

Two pf my faves teaming up again!!! Absolutely love seeing you together

@laurenschenck5355 Год назад

SO EXCITED!!!🍁🍂📚📚🍂🎃🎃🎃🍂🍂🍁🍂🍂🎃🎃🎃🍂🍂🍁🍁🍁🍂🍂🍁🍁🎃🎃🎃🍃🍃🍁🍂🍂🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🍂🍁🍁🍃🍃🍃🍁🍂🍂🎃🎃🎃🎃

@TheAninas Год назад

Also loved this old school video vibes. So good

@danielle9074 Год назад

I relate so much more to Melanie's "chaotic" way of being, because I have ADHD. It's not that we don't understand the advantages of planning and writing things down, but it requires motivation and focus to stick to those things, It's not always possible on a brain level. If you're like Hannah consider yourself fortunate. 🤣

@mkfrook Год назад

Oh man, the NCT group comment and that whole conversation hit me so hard.. had my son july 2020 and still don't have friends with kids, and it's so hard! And ughh the comment about people not caring about him. There's so much "ceremony" that I imagined would go into welcoming him to the world and our lives that just wasn't possible, and it's something I know is gonna take a while to work through.. Thank god for you all being online having babies so it doesn't feel quite so lonely. 💚💛

@colorblox4942 Год назад

Wow, this was so good to hear. I'm in a position where I'm home with my child without having to work, and I saw those youtubers who still did it all despite having a child and it made me really feel bad because I struggled so much. While I wouldn't change a thing it probably is easier mentally if you are able to just have a break from childminding, even if you have to work in that time.

@zofiabochenska1240 Год назад

I loved this video

@ojiverdeconfleco Год назад

Loved this video and you two together!! I planned time off after having my baby and then I made the decision to become a stay at home parent, I love it, but I do take a few hours for myself every other day or so else I have a stiff descent into chaos.

@SuperNaomiie Год назад

Love this! I have a 5 week old and love hearing your experiences ❤

@terriralphs2011 Год назад

Mel, I would call your style being resourceful with what you have, and there is nothing wrong with that. Hannah, no matter what you are hilarious and funny to watch. Yet, both of you are beautiful in your own ways. Congratulations to both of you and the continued efforts of growing a family and just getting started

@CorinneDemyanovich Год назад

My brain seems similar to Hannah's. It's all organized organization in this house! I am known as the organized person in my friend/family group because I've always been this way. I can't imagine coping with organized chaos!

@morehannah Год назад

I’ve no idea how she does it… 😅😅

@firefly24601 Год назад

My brain WANTS to be like Hannah's... but ends up closer to Mel's... :D

@YTLawnGnome Год назад

What a great video. I totally agree with the first few weeks. The baby is pretty much a potato. Even though you love that baby the fact that you are getting no responses it's just so hard to create that bond. However, once you get that first fully alert smile everything just gets so much better. I have a 5 month old now and it's so much easier. It is still very much a lot of work but, it's much more manageable. Day care really helps too.

@brihannonstrathern8801 Год назад

I'm a doula and I totally agree with the initial period of just having this human that you have to be everything for but don't get anything back from for at least the first six weeks, that shit is hard but just know that you are doing SUCH an incredible job, there is no such thing as a bad parent X

@sophieirwin3497 Год назад

I love Melanie’s books!

@claudiajade624 Год назад

Yayay to the collab and all of this 😊🎉😁 Currently cuddling my 10 week old, nervous and low key dreading going back to full time (away from home) work in 5 weeks 😥 But so, so grateful that currently my husband is going to take over baby care fulltime. So true about choices being in part circumstantial!

@morehannah Год назад

Aw good luck! And yeah we’re all just working with the different hands we’ve been dealt

@salamanda11 Год назад

I love the two of you together! I feel like this entire video begs the question of everyone that watches it: Are you a Hannah or a Melanie? I think I’m closer to Hannah, but not nearly all the way there!

@laurenschenck5355 Год назад

I love Melanie’s books too! 😍😍😍

@meeganerose98 Год назад

Amazing video, you are both so engaging, just incredible women 💛💛💛

@kitafrench8966 Год назад

My friend and I were just talking about the pandemic vs now the other day. I have a pandemic baby and she had a baby around same age as rowan. She also now says the same about she worries she wasn’t there enough for me. But like you said. You don’t truly know until your in it. And I just happened to be the one that had the baby first. Really resonated with me This video with me going back to work part time too.

@mignonhagemeijer3726 Год назад

My mom happened to be able to share a job and the childcare with the other women. I found it pretty ingenious. But those where also different times one needed to be more creative getting childern and working I think

@firefly24601 Год назад

HANNAH AND MELANIE COLLABS AGAIN!!! EEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! 💜💜💜

@ireallyreallyhategoogle Год назад

So nice seeing Melanie after all this time.

@khia7676 Год назад

I think workwise Hannah you treat your RU-vid like a Job /which it is/ scheduling, taking time to think of content and create it. Answering to deadlines etc which are all real working life scenarios. As opposed to Melanie who lives in organised chaos - last minute video ideas, not sticking to schedules etc ~ wouldn't really fly in real working Job scenarios. Feels like more of a hobby for Melanie whereas for you it's a bigger production and more informed and polished.

@laurenschenck5355 Год назад

Good morning Hannah! Hope you have a great day xoxo 😚 🍁🍂🎃🎃🍂🍃🍃🍁🍂🎃🍃🍁🍂🎃🎃🍂🍁🍃🍃🍁🍂🎃🎃🍂🍃🍃🍁🍁🍂🎃🎃🍂🍂🍃🍃🍁🍂🍂

@avdisons1526 Год назад

Beautiful Analogy… upside world ❤️

@brihannonstrathern8801 Год назад

A postpartum doula will be by your side for as long as you need them to be Mel X

@chaosrulerofall Год назад

As a American a whole year for maternity leave is bonkers ! a good company gives you 2-3 months here

@eimearoreilly3624 Год назад

Hannah can you post a video/ podcast on how to raise children without a village. Would be so helpful!

@diplomog Год назад

Thanks

@laurenschenck5355 Год назад

LOVEE Melanie! She is amazing and good mom and everything too xoxo 😚 🎃🍁🍂🍁🎃🍁🍂🍁🍃🍃🍁🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🎃🍃🍃🍃🎃🍁🍂🍂🍂🍁🍁🎃🍃🍃🍃🎃🍁🍂🍂🍂🎃🍃🍃🍃🍃🎃🍁🍂🎃🍃

@firefly24601 Год назад

My child is 2 months older than Rowan, so most of the previous 9 months was spent in the COVID times, but not lockdown. It was a weird time of very limited prenatal groups, but masking and distancing during it? We're in the same boat as Hannah, no family nearby and none of our friends really have kids. The time when we would have made friends in parenting groups didn't happen as it was still COVID mostly. We have a couple friends who don't mind hanging out with the baby, but I don't think they would feel comfortable being alone with them, and certainly not on a regular child-minding schedule.

@febberz Год назад

I get so sad going to gatherings with babies now - I just didn't get to go out and see people with mine! I was struggling so much with mine having colic and reflux, but without having kids before or growing up with kids or being able to go out, I didn't even fully understand that the amount he was crying was excessive, and I felt bad about myself that I wasn't coping or enjoying it as much as I wanted. I didn't have a frame of reference for what a normal experience of having a newborn was and it didn't hit me until much later that I didn't get to see people with him, and I didn't even get to hold him sleeping very often in my arms because of how often he cried. COVID and colic, man!

@sams9181 Год назад

Hugs to you

@giannahowells6964 Год назад

It’s so surreal seeing both of you married with babies🥹 recently rewatching drunk advice and it’s mad seeing you both in such a different places from then. RU-vid is such a time capsule! Sending so much love to you both❤️ Excited to continue watching your journeys🥰

@rollingwaves1290 Год назад

I wish I was like Hannah in terms of organization but the reality is more like Melanie's approach - making a to-do list and then forgetting I've made it :D sometimes I imagine a life where I could be more productive, but it is what it is :)

@EN-jv3gy Год назад

Easy literally in the bath waiting for a new video to come out and this gold appears

@girliestmammy Год назад

💖

@PratikOberoi Год назад

❤

@89DoraH Год назад

I would love a video on your spare room, like true life 👍

@marwamagdi2587 Год назад

I think the productivity guru she mentioned is ali Abdullah

@morehannah Год назад

*Ali Abdul. And no it’s not Ali, he also quotes the same person a lot and probably remembers their name though!

@moonell Год назад

I'm confused, are you not friends with Rose and Rosie anymore? Or did you just mean they are not in London?

@gamewrit0058 Год назад

4:40 A full year of parental leave sounds healthy, but most folks in the USA don't get any type of leave, much less paid leave. Some employers give paid or unpaid time off to both parents for 3-6 weeks, often with the duration shorter for the person who didn't carry the pregnancy. My dad went back into the office within hours of my brother's arrival, which still bothers my mom more than 30 years later. Most plans assume a male x female married couple, yet most allow family leave for adopted children as well as newborns, and some allow unmarried or queer couples family leave as well. What little I've heard from and about poly-amorous parents in western countries is that there are two legal parents, even though it takes a village to raise a child, so to speak. (RU-vid kept autocorrecting that to polygamous, which is specifically about marriage. It's my understanding that when emigrating here, a polygamous person must choose one spouse to bring and leave any others behind. In the U.S., multiple spouses are not legally recognized, even if a church or local community recognizes them. This means some partners have significantly more protections than others, and communally raised children may need to go with whomever holds the legal marriage.)

@tabbylynchburg4824 Год назад

Kray kray this video is based on different parenting styles when Melanie is well known to berate others parenting styles under various anonymous alias. Love this video. Really helpful Hannah x

@roseblack3436 Год назад

Well known? Never heard about it.

@morehannah Год назад

HAHA WHERE WOULD SHE FIND THE TIME!? 😅😅

@roseblack3436 Год назад

@@morehannah People make up the weirdest shit 😂

@aeolia80 Год назад

By the Way, Mel totally has her office at her home now, lol

@morehannah Год назад

she does indeed!!!

@SamarkandChan Год назад

This was filmed a while ago. 😊

@TheAninas Год назад

I feel like Melanie but I don’t have any children 😂

@justedepassage9342 Год назад

Hi pure ladies it was a great Time to see You both sweet and very attractive because of your honesty... I will bé enjoy to deserve you for all the time with my peacefull vibes and holy kisses like have contemplated you both and you know what IS about it... I respect you both and thanks for all, this m'y honest gratitude. 💋💖😏💞😍😘

@Chilemalteca Год назад

mel: "the full year maternity leave that a lot of people get" me, from south america: the full what?!

@catherinecase1142 Год назад

In the US, and same!!!

@WeAllLovePineapples Год назад

In the UK a chunk of that is unpaid and a chunk is statutory minimum which they would have been entitled to but like lots of women find, it isn’t enough to live on. Many women in ‘typical’ careers also choose not to take that full time due to concerns with their careers, losing promotions etc. It’s not only influencers, or those in creative industries - many women are in the same boat but their jobs aren’t so flexible when they do have to go back. Just wanted to give some context.

@MadisonJones Год назад

me, an American: PEOPLE GET A YEAR OF PAID MATERNITY LEAVE???

@Zoe-oh2bo Год назад

I thought Hannah was wearing pumpkin earrings - nope, they’re boobs 😂

@louisacoote2337 Год назад

I thought they were bagels/pretzels

@Zouiful Год назад

It’s so interesting to me to see white friends (and probably more middle class friends?) being so so clueless about pregnancy and newborns. When you grow up in a different culture and with lotsa kids it’s definitely something you are exposed to 😂 I’m in awe of parents doing a lot of this early stuff with only 2 people!! It takes a freaking basketball team😅 My pregnant friends from the UK were so shocked and grateful for me stocking their fridge with frozen meal prep or offering to come do the laundry but it’s very very normal where I’m from.