'Hubby Mad I Called Mom For Help with Baby' -- Reddit Story 

“Tainted the memory of his son’s birth” buddy, how can you remember something you weren’t even there for?

He’s trying to isolate her. Big red flags.

In the navy if you’re deployed in the middle of the water and they receive a Red Cross message that your wife is in labor, they send a helicopter to get him and take him to the nearest airport to fly back to the US to his family. I can’t imagine what job he has that does not think the birth of his child is a family emergency.

It’s entitled behavior. You should prioritize your wife’s needs, she JUST GAVE BIRTH. Also why is his stepmom “allowed” to see the baby but her mom is not? He should grow up, and I hope OP realize it’s a huge red flag.

The most abusive part : she had to give birth alone... she should have her husband or mother... not his step mother ! She is the one who should decide who sees her in that moment and who she wants to support her !

It's crazy that a stepmom can see the kid but her mom can't see the kid.

I REALLY want to talk about the fact that HIS mom was allowed over, refused to help, but she was expected to leave her mother out on top of that? "My mom can see our son because she's my mom but your mom isn't my parent so she doesn't get to see MY son" en-ti-tled

Postpartum depression is a real thing too, so why would he leave his wife alone, not too sure if she was affected by it after their child's birth? So basically if she were to unalive herself (or had an accident from still feeling unwell after giving birth), her husband or stepmom would have no clue until the husband found her. That really tells you how much he doesn't care about her. I bet if she didn't call him, he wouldn't call in to check up on her.

Memory of his sons birth.. dude. You weren’t at the birth. 🙄

Omg I’d tell him he should have been there if he was so concerned about it. The birth is a big deal. He deserves ZERO apologies. OP needed help.

I can't believe he thought a work trip was more important than being there when his wife gave birth. It sounds like this is probably their first child, too. If my husband told me he had to go on a work trip right before my due date, I would tell him either he refuses to go on the trip, or we get divorced. ESPECIALLY if he started insisting on me not letting anyone else see the baby before him. Bitch if you wanted to see the baby that badly you should have BEEN AT THE BIRTH. Like wtf.

One little detail that is also a red flag for me: OP was scared to tell him over a phone call the she called her mom to be there. In a healthy relationship, a new mother should be comfortable telling her SO that she made that arrangement because she needed to. It seems like she is walking on eggshells with her husband

Red flag run 🏃‍♀️😥

Imagine being alone after your birth, no direct family, no husband, no friends, just an unhelpful mother in law :/

Her mom is a g. She a real gem..driving up 4 hours to help her daughter. He is a red flag. Leave him and take the baby with you

“Youve forever tainted the memory of his birth” HE WASNT EVEN THERE. HOW CAN YOU TAINT A MEMORY HE NEVER EVEN FUCKING EXPERIENCED? Divorce. Now.

Also omg, your friend who said that women shouldn't be allowed epidurals... How about he goes through major surgery without any anaesthesia? Like... that is so fucking out of order lmao.

If the wife knew that the stepmom was the "no dirty diaper" type then the husband DEFINITELY knew so why would he think she would help? An why did he leave in the first place so close to the due date?? And say it was an agreement, after that why didn't he video chat or rush home to see her and the baby? He does not care about his wife at all! Like that's the other grandmother-

Divorce his ass and run. You guys said it all, and the fact that he isn't willing to allow his wife to get help after taking an extended vacation, let's be honest that's what he was trying to do, makes me thing he doesn't have a chronic condition and used that as an excuse to get his wife to move away from her family. Also, she's 25, and he's 32. I know age is just a number between two consenting adults, but knowing how badly he's trying to control her makes the age difference a red flag as well. My manager and her husband are in a similar situation, almost identical. The ages, the first baby, it's weird. BUT he's a stay-at-home dad who, before COVID stopped him from working as much, took time off to see his son being born and routinely visits my manager at work so she can see her son. Not saying that this situation couldn't work. But it definitely reads to me like he specifically went after a younger woman and maybe exaggerated his health condition to move her 4 hours away from her family, and is using his experience over her to control her. Because, like you said, if he has a chronic health condition that absolutely requires him to stay in his hometown near his family, why would he deny his wife the help she needs? Dude is fucked up in the head regardless of the reasoning and she needs to cut ties and break for it.

Someone talking to you this badly right after giving birth is complete abuse. It’s about control, it’s about making her feel bad, it’s making her question herself and her needs! This is gaslighting. This is narcissistic control.

3:20 she DID NOT invite her mom over. She called her mom after she got dropped off and her mom OFFERED her help, which, if you're all alone woth a new born baby you'd be an idiot to refuse free help imo.

You're not the asshole. YOU are the one who pushed out the baby. YOU are the one who went through labor. YOU are the one who was in the hospital with your husband out of town. YOU are the one who was raking care of a newborn, BY YOURSELF with no help. The fact he's upset is a huge red flag. If he wanted that, he should've said "no my wife is due soon I can't leave town". His fault.

why was his step-mom allowed to meet the child but not her mom? like. especially because you would want someone who loves the kid to meet the kids first and he picks someone who couldn’t care less?

She has just suffered a serious physical trauma, which normally they’d prescribe rest for. Then she has been subjected to being woken every couple of hours by a loud upsetting noise, and suffer more physical assault in her recovery/nursing - that is similar to how they torture terrorists! Add on that actually caring for yourself and a poop machine - like seriously - how?!? Plus the actual hormone rollercoaster on top! Women are amazing and we need to normalise how hard the first few weeks are! His behaviour is very concerning

Why was he okay with his mom meaning the baby before he did but not hers.

Agreed SINGLE I had a c section and I can imagine doing that alone let along going home and being alone. I feel so sorry for OP

The C section makes it that much worse. You cannot pick up your baby usually! How could she feed and change this baby much less try to shower, make food, clean up a little, or anything? She’s recovering from a major surgery. Even without a C section, newborns don’t sleep more than a little bit here and there and you’re still recovering from delivery and not sleeping from that. It can become unsafe very quickly without family or your partner letting you get some sleep.

If he really had a chronic condition that made it impossible for him to be away from his family but can go on extended trips??? Make it make sense please.

I love Morgan’s guest's reactions. She is worried about being “ too aggressive “ 😂

With a c-section, if you bend or twist in just the most perfectly incorrect way, there’s a very real chance that your stitches will split and uh oh, your organs are now in your lap.

Very abusive also knowing that she is most likely extra emotional bc of giving birth. You don’t do this shit as a partner. An unwritten rule that everyone should know.

Try this; my mum didn’t get to hold me for 5 days after I was born. As soon as I was cleaned up and brought back, my dad was holding me (mum was being stitched up because of Caesarian) and he noticed my breathing was really odd; after he brought it up to nurses and doctors, I was rushed off in a transportation ambulance to another hospital for emergency surgery to drain fluid out of both my lungs and then ended up with jaundice. My mum didn’t whinge when my dad held me first like this at all. So the fact this guy is acting like a child is disgusting and a downright red flag 🚩

Can't live away from his family/hometown due to medical condition but can travel for work on serious enough assignments that he can't even leave to attend the birth of his baby?? Math aint mathing.

Ruin the memory of the birth? What memory he wasn’t even there.

i love how straightforward and agressive (in a good way) sarah is

That's a promise that she should have never have had to make in the first place.

Mom to be decides who's allowed in the birth room. No one else. And if she needs help, she gets the help she wants unless there's a legit reason not to such as fear for the safety of the baby. I'd leave him. In fact, I'd never have had a kid with him in the first place. There is no way this is the first time he's pulled this shit.

After a c-section you are not meant to even pick up your baby for up to 2 weeks! What was she supposed to do. I am not one to jump to abuse but these are huge red flags for abuse. The isolation, stonewalling, and manipulation are huge!

My first 2 weeks after having a baby were brutal. I had stitches, I exclusively breastfeed, and I'm usually in a lot of pain. Babies are hard to care for the first few weeks. Especially if its your first. This man is horrible.

she said “knowing he’d react” THIS MAN IS CLEARLY ABUSIVE!!! THE FLAG IS FLASHING RED💀🙏🏼

I like how he has to be by his family for medical needs, but is able to travel for days away alone?

I really wish they would put the links to the reddit posts that way we could see if the OPs posted updates

Why does his family have a special pass but her family doesnt

Sir has a chronic medical condition where he has to live near home and then goes on 2 week work trip….make that make sense

The husband is a literal psychopath. Why is his stepmom more important the wife’s mother

He can't extend any empathy during this crazy life changing time? Dump him. Sickness and in health my ass. Total hypocrite that she has to move her life around him but she can't break a promise because its affecting her health?

Wait if he has a chronic condition where he HAS to be near family in his hometown, why is he away on a work trip in the first place?

My mom literally dissociated from the pain at my birth. Like genuinely she felt like she was watching someone else give birth to me, natural birth does not connect you to your baby more than other methods.

He shouldn't have asked her to promise that in the first place. Like her mother can't be there to help her and give her advices (which would be the most natural thing to do) but his careless stepmother can? The level of unawareness and insensitivity is over the roof. I'd regret ever opening my legs to someone like this, let alone having a kid with him

This sounds like a man who is manipulative and controlling. He found a reason to pull her away from her family and isolate her and then when she gave birth he basically forbid her from reaching out to her family and only allowed her to contact HIS stepmother! Isolation is the first step in most abusive relationships

Hubby is the A-hole. Leave him honey.

Em... So if the person he sent to help wasn't helping, what exactly was she supposed to do? Just like, lie in their own sick with a child until you get back and you "allow" other people to see the baby? Also don't most people have cellphones nowadays? If this dude was so intent on being one of the first people to see his baby, there _are_ video calls. Sure, it's not in-person, but the alternative is again, letting her sit alone and without assistance, compromising the newborn's early days! This feels like some kind of weird power game to be honest. Move away from your family to come to mine, also your family shouldn't be able to see their newest member until I decide they can.

She “tainted the memory” of your sons birth? What memory? Bro, you weren’t fucking there!

Why would she even promise that 🤨

Wow, run from this guy. Run, please run now. Poor poor woman.

Sarah's expression at 2:26 was ALL of us LMAO

The disrespect on his part is unreal! My husband would never do that!

So it's OK for his step mom to be there but it's not ok for her mom to help

Idk if it's different in australia but if you have a c section here, they don't allow you to go home if you're alone, they will make you stay longer in hospital on top of the about a week they make you stay anyway, just so you have the extra care. So the fact this woman was at home days after having a c section is crazy. On the day my SIL was leaving 6 days after her c section she had a random complication that caused blood to start pouring out of her when she stood up from the hospital bed. I can't believe this woman was allowed to be at home alone after major surgery and looking after a newborn. The step mother in law is also a bit weird, I don't do diapers either, but if someone i was told to care for needed me to be there i would do diapers and probably wipe their ass if needed, isnt that the human thing to do?? it's major surgery, i mean...come on. Also I've heard sepsis can be quite a common complication after birth and when sepsis hits you, most people can't even open their eyes, imagine if something like that happened and he came home to a dead wife... The husband and his family are weird cold people.

The way Sarah keeps glancing at the camera just sends me!!! Her glare of "are you f*cking serious right now?" Just validates the absolute shit out of my feelings! 😂

he couldn’t come home early from the trip??? it was to birth of your first child!! i would quit my job if need be. the birth of your child is so important. you missed it because you “had to work” you yourself tainted the memory by not being there, no body else but you. also choose violence.. always 😂

I’ve had 2 c section and I can tell you the pain I’ve felt afterwards was worse than contractions during active labour. This poor woman married a complete prick. Im glad I had my husband and he is a decent human being.

I think his work trip was a lie, his controlling attitude and silent treatment was abusive. His “chronic medical condition” doesn’t make sense and after all that I would be questioning the truth

Girl needs to run. That's a giant red flag.

WAIT she had a c-section...you can't even lift your baby up without help the first weeks then..OFCOURSE SHE NEEDED HELP

There was a single mom who bled to death after birth and her baby died too. He should prioritize the safety and well being of his family over who sees the baby first.

did he have to push the baby out of his body and deal with the pain? no♥️ so she can do whatever she wants with HER baby

My husband was getting his masters and about to finish, and had a final project that requires trip to another country to study their economy or something, and I was due to give birth the week after he was scheduled to return. From the day the trip was announced until the trip ended he made contingency plans to be able to leave early/go late if I gave birth when he was out of the country, and ensured all his family and mine were on standby for the week. The fact that her husband couldn’t even consider ensuring she had the support she needed, and didn’t ensure he would be available to see the birth of his his is baffling

don't listen to them Sarah, call. them. OUT.

Gaslighter big time… be careful as you’re in the stage of PPD and he seems the type to use that and run with it. Run while you can

I never understand why people demand nobody meets the baby exept their mom/dad/whoever, or that a specific person has to meet the baby first. especially in situations like this where the new mom is alone and needs help. its not out if spite, its a practical thing. the health of the wife and child should matter more than who needs the baby 1st, 2nd, 3rd. its basically denying them help as well especially if the person who is supposed to meet the baby first won't or can't help! also "call if you need help" what can your husband do from far away while on a work trip? nothing. absolutely nothing

How much you want to bet he would haves been mad if it was a girl

Y’all both just wiggling your feet the whole time is so funny to me

Ugh this husband is the absolute worst… no. Until he knows what it’s like being a new mom ALL ALONE with that new baby he needs to get over himself. That’s ridiculous. I was SO scared my first few hours alone with my son… I remember not wanting my husband to leave because I had no clue what I was doing… if it weren’t for my parents helping I would have lost it! HE IS THE ASSHOLE.

this guy and his stepmom forced her to go through this alone. it was a "I'm not going to help you and no else will either, I need you to be all on your own and isolated". It's sooo bizzaare. She needs to leave him, it's unhinged.

Why can the stepmom see the baby but her mom can’t????

Nah someone else should have gone on the work trip. Those last few months he should have been in town

so his mom can be there but HERS CANT

He didn't even send a nurse!!!!

Wow I loveeee Sarah, she should come more often

My man works out of town for 2 weeks at a time, comes home for 2 in half days then leaves again for another 2 weeks, we only get every other weekend together but when I went into labor, he stopped working, told his boss (didn't ask but told) that he was leaving to meet me at the hospital! Then he took the next few weeks off to help me with the baby! I dont rememeber where exactly he was working at that time but like right now he's working 9 in a half hours away from home, he can go up to 30 hours away at times, any man that doesn't stop work to be at the birth of his child (especially the 1st) does not have the right to be called a dad!

As someone who had major abdominal surgery I can tell you it that was the case she wouldn’t be able to care for that newborn not even if she went above and beyond. Not in a million f…… years. Imagine to carry a new born around, change diapers or even just pick the baby up after someone cut your belly open, that would mean excruciating pain. It’s ridiculous that this guy thinks it’s ok for her to give birth to his baby all by herself (maybe with a c section) and then heal and care for the baby while he’s putting even more pressure on her. CUT AND RUN

Girl run far and wide

EXCUSE ME….he has no memory of his sons birth because he wasn’t there!! I know he was working but the large majority of jobs definitely allow men to leave their work trip early to go be with your wife and meet your baby. She’s just supposed to be alone as a brand new Mom until your ass decides to come home? ABSOLUTELY NOT!! Being a new Mom is terrifying. It’s beautiful and magical but you are also scared and everything is new. There are a lot of emotions and hormones going through your body. You are healing and depending on how you gave birth you could have a lot more healing. What if you struggled with any kind of postpartum? What if she had a C section and had a hemorrhage or something else could go wrong! Literally even if everything goes right you still need help.

Why is the step mom allowed in the deliver room but her mom isn’t ? I am so confused. She gave him too much control over that. I wouldn’t allow him to tell me who can be in the room.

He is such a manipulative guy…red flaaaag ruuunnnn

He’s cheating. Straight up.

So she kind of had to do the delivery and the first days with her first born ALONE???? That's unbelievably abusive!!! Where I live, next to the fact that dad's get something like 3-5 weeks, you get like 10 full days with a nurse coming into your home to help with household and the 'new baby stuff.

Okay, I don't do diapers but I will always help with my new niece. I just give her back to her parents or grandparents when it comes to diaper changes.

Abusers find the weirdest ways to justify their abuse.

Why the fuck did he go on the trip then

Also I love your friends view lol… she’s hilarious and so right!

tainted??? how would you know?! you weren’t there!!

divorce right away, leave while he's at work. send other ppl to get stuff you couldn't take.

First of all why would you go on a work trip right before your baby is due.

There’s a 7 year age gap, he moved her away from her family because of a “chronic health condition” that requires him to be close to family BUT he’s more than capable to travel for work?

Why didn’t he say NO to the last minute work trip?!? A heavily pregnant wife is a great reason to say no.

Woman is probably still recovering from the delivery and husband is being a D. She's basically on her own already. Run 🏃‍♂️

ABUSIVE husband 100%. She needs to get out of that relationship asap. It will ruin her.

Run run