"Husband lied to Reddit About Our Marriage Issues' -- Reddit Story 

his post was gross- I just remember reading 'I only bring girls over three time a week at most and I don't care about any of them its just physical while my wife is upstairs' and didn't mention ANYTHING about loosing a child

She was crying herself to sleep while he was with someone else downstairs. I’m sorry, WHAT. No, he’s only noticing because someone else has her attention. Totally agree with everything you two have said here. Leave him, sis. You deserve better ❤️

Just in case, since I haven‘t seen it anywhere in the comments: She updated and has decided to divorce the guy. She seems like a good mum and wanting to put as little stress on her kids as possible and I‘m so happy with this outcome. Wishing her all the best!

his first instinct after his wife went through a very traumatic event was to sleep with random girls instead of supporting her? she needs to run far far away, and take the kids with her. i can only assume he’s as terrible of a father as he is a husband.

He wanted an open relationship conveniently when she didn’t want sex anymore then conveniently closed it when she found someone else. He’s a manipulative emotional abuser and she needs to leave him. He can’t do that. He’s ate his cake, time for the stomach ache.

this just boils down to he wanted to punish his wife by forcing her to open the marriage. he wanted to punish his wife by forcing her to allow these women into their home. he wanted to punish his wife by rejecting her advances when she finally started to heal (which honestly i'm doubting as well bc it seemed she only started offering sex to get him to stop sleeping with other women which. that's sexual coercion on his part which is a crime). and then she decided fine. she's going to try to seek out the comfort her husband isn't providing and she started growing closer to another man and now he's floundering. bc literally all he wanted to do was pull some pseudo alpha male bullshit to put her in her place (bc she didn't want to have sex) and shocker it didn't work out like he planned. f this guy.

he just wanted to cheat and not look bad. also the financial manipulation by saying if she doesn’t let him sleep with women in the basement he’s going to spend all their money on hotels?? disgusting

As a polyam person, this isn't poly. This isn't healthy. There is wrong all over. I would personally divorce him and stick with the supportive partner.

The idea of laying in bed crying while my HUSBAND was having sex with someone else makes me feel physically sick, I can’t imagine that pain.

When people try opening the marriage to 'save' it, it proves they have a fundamental misunderstanding of what it means to be in a relationship. Poly relationships and open marriages require a lot of effort and care. It's like with having kids--if both parties are not on board with it from the get go, then it will only end in tears. Also, if you can't manage a monogamous relationship you have NO business in a poly or open relationship. I heard both sides of these stories, and honestly, I just wanted her to run. This man does not care about anyone except himself and his comfort and wants.

Ops husbands behavior is kinda unforgivable not just ignoring op and sleeping with others but like gaslighting her and making her feel bad

"Let me bring girls into he basement if you don't want me spending alot on hotels"😳😳😳😳 girl you better leave!

I am married with kids and for me- the minute my husband asked to open up our marriage because I was struggling with sexual intimacy after such a traumatic event - I would leave. His job is to take care of her. When she went through that- I don’t care if they haven’t had sex in five years, this isn’t the answer. Therapy would have been a good start. And then when she found someone, he wants to punish her AGAIN. I would leave. Those kids deserve to see their mother being treated with respect and love by their father. And he did this under their roof with his wife and children home? No.

I found the original post but the OP deleted it. I remember it clearly. He played the victim so hard. The post is deleted but the comments are still up. Most everyone is dissing him for playing the victim too. Guy is completely worthless and this wife needs to leave ASAP

I remember this. Lost genre covered it. The entire post from the husband was lies, either outright or by omission, and manipulative. He wanted validation for hi action and confirmation that he wasn’t the bad guy. I think had he gotten the reaction he wanted he would have shown the post to his wife as a ‘see you’re being unreasonable’ and further manipulate her. Thankfully Reddit really tore into him. It was one of those posts were the entire internet converged for the sole purpose of telling this one man how much of a PoS he was.

Be careful what you wish for. He begged for an open relationship he got what he wanted.

Why stay with him?! Like if he cant even see that you were recovering from the death of your baby and he only thinks about himself and sex and then goes for a low blow and demand sex from others he's pure trashhhhhh. Move on to the new guy and stop waisting your time. Waiting for your relationship to be back at how it was 3 years ago is off the table he already destroyed al respect he had for you.

I’ve seen the other post and it was just as bad, even with him writing it and putting himself in the best light possible it was still so clear how awful and manipulative he was

(Abusers) tighten their claws when they realize you're slipping away, when they realize they lost their control.👏👏👏👏👏👏 that is GOLD

Apologies for the lengthy comment The most sickening part to me is when she would try to initiate w him after she started getting better & feeling up to it he’d let her know he couldn’t because he was about to have sex w a woman or too tired because he just had sex w another woman. Rubbing it in her face. This to me is the very worst part of it all. He wanted his wife when she just couldn’t for perfectly good reason. Even if the baby hadn’t passed away & she just didn’t want to he couldn’t wait on her to be ready. He couldn’t console her? He couldn’t hold her & tell her he’s there for her? He couldn’t be bothered to be a loving husband that he vowed to be? All he could do do is tell her she’s a failure & that he’d be screwing other women. So he warped the situation & manipulated her to go along w this sickening thing. And by the stories I’ve read about men complaining about wives w other men it always starts out by “I asked her & she said no”. Then husband would ask her every month, 2x a month then every week until after years of him begging for her to have sex w another man or him another woman & wearing her down she finally broke down and did it. Once the wives slept w other men & realize the other men were much better than husband very few of the wives had sex w their husbands again. Then they all complained about how the wife “abandoned “ them for other men leaving out the part of years of begging & manipulation and had been in sexless marriages for years all because they pushed and pushed their wives to do something they didn’t want to do. By then it was too late & the wives didn’t want to stop seeing other men. They didn’t want 3somes w their husbands & the other men because they just wanted one on one time w them. Then in nearly every story the men then begged just have one night or so a month w their wives or at least to be in the same room w them so at least they could see their wives having sex & have a tiny, tiny bit of intimacy w their wives. So I believe these so called husbands get what they deserve. It’s as you said if both mutually agree that sex w other people would benefit both of them then that’s their choice. They both felt wanted & from what I read they would “reclaim” each other after they had been w other people to reconnect. But that’s a mutually agreed decision. Not one forcing the other. Our wedding vows say for better or worse yet some forget about the worse part & when things get hard they want more from someone else until they realize they screwed it all up then the blame is in the wife. This guy doesn’t deserve his wife at all. My wife & I lost our first child before he was born so I know how it feels and I wouldn’t have dreamed about doing what this guy did. Neither one of us thought about sex. Then when we finally worked back up to it we got pregnant again soon after & we were terrified we would loose her too. She was born premature nearly 8 months later. So I don’t know how to understand these horrible people. How do you treat your wife like crap & tell her these awful things when she’s already hurt on so many levels? Then on top you screw around for your own benefit further traumatizing your wife? I hope she found better & he’s out of the picture

The problem with having your cake and eating it, is that you normally end up vomiting on yourself.

a little over a minute in and i’m already absolutely disgusted and heart broken for this lady. how absolutely heart wrenching. i hope she leaves this pos to put it lightly. i can’t even imagine.

As a polyamorous person, THIS ISN'T HEALTHY. But it's seen a lot where men want side pieces but then their wife starts to dive in THEN too it's too much. There are plenty of ways to have a healthy poly relationship, but it starts with you and your choices. Most couples who "open up" will always struggle since they have to change their own dynamic SO MUCH. If you want polyamory, it has to be who you are and something you won't compromise on. It takes work but so worth it in my opinion ❤️ Don't let ass hole men ruin the idea of poly for you. He probably was already cheating to be honest and just didn't wanna have to hide it anymore. Shit people will be shit people. We all deserve authentic love :)

I saw the husbands post and he complained about how he was only having sex and how she had had a emotional connection. He also claimed she left for a weekend w/o telling him

This woman needs to ask herself if this kind of relationship is what she would hope her kids find. Her staying with this man shows those kids this relationship is normal or acceptable. Or, it shows the kids that how their dad treats their mom is fine and that’s how they can treat their future SOs. I could never stay with a man like this. No no no. Hope she leaves him. He sees her as a babysitter, maid, roommate and sex doll and he made that damn clear.

I remember the husbands posts and now reading the wife’s post…. It’s disgusting. I hope she sees through his manipulation and leaves him and goes with the other guy. I know they have kids which is sticky situation but I do hope she leaves him

A similar thing happened to me during my first marriage. He was fooling around on me prior to opening our marriage, which I didn’t know about. He then asked me for an open marriage to “spice things up.” I went with it and found several hookups while he was sputtering around trying to find just one. He got mad bc one of the guys I was hooking up with was one for my friends from high school, who just so happened to be in band w my exhusband. He told me I wasn’t allowed to go and hook up w anyone anymore, but never said anything about him closing his side of the marriage. I told him I would absolutely not close my side unless he did the same. I then asked for a separation and then met my now fiancé. My ex and I divorced shortly thereafter.

I’ve seen the poly subreddit out of curiosity before and it was a hot mess. Poly works for some people, but in my opinion, not many. Lots of people seemed to try it due to pressure from someone they really like and end up hurt.

I’ve never been so early, I’m so excited! Literally listening to this feels like hanging out with friends as lame as that sounds haha

This was his post in case anyone is wondering: “Ok Reddit. I need more advice. I (30M) posted earlier this week about how I messed up by asking my wife (27F) to open our marriage over a year ago so I could have sex with other women due to her low sex drive and would bring the women home since my wife said she was ok with it. And she just recently started dating someone a few months ago and it's hard for me because I feel like I'm losing her to him. My wife told me she would be gone Thursday night because she had something planned with the guy. I figured that meant she'd be home Friday morning. It is now 11pm Friday night and I just found out she's not coming home until Monday. I've had to improvise all day with the kids because she was not here and wasn't answering her phone and I didn't know where she was. She finally called tonight to say goodnight to the kids and all she'd say is "mommy is at work" which she isn't. She was very short with me and said it's none of my business where she's at and that it's her turn to enjoy life. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what to think. It is so not her style to just abandon the kids like this. I almost feel like this is her showing me that she's choosing him over us. I've been thinking all week about ways to "date her again" and told her I want "us" back and this is what she does the very next day. Is this a sign to give up? How do I know if I should keep fighting for this relationship?”

I heard his post on tiktok mention how he always brought home girls then his wife met a coworker who was a bit sad she was married but, still wanted her. When she told him off essentailly because he wished to close the marriage he blew up saying "if we get a divorce will you get with coworker" when she didnt respond he took to reddit to get advice where everyone laughed at him.

I saw his post. He was complaining so much and making her seem so evil I wish I still had the link. It had to have been him because of the basement thing. It sounds just like what I read

There’s a guy I went out with when we were 20 and has periodically reached out to see what I was up to for the past 20 years! He’s been married for over 15 years with 4 kids. And whenever I say I’m with someone he just says “I won’t tell him if you don’t.”

She needs to leave that man. Point blank period.

I went through something very eerily similar to this. I left my husband for the new partner, and it was the greatest decision I've ever made. I realized how much abuse I was dealing with, my partner treated me like a dream. I am now married to new parter and am in therapy to deal with the abuse I ignored because of ex. Good luck hun. I'm very sorry for your loss.

didn't realize it until now but I went through something kinda like this. my bf of three years asked to see other people and I only said yes bc we were planning on getting married in the future and I figured he'd experience new things before coming back full time bc we were very serious. sobbed over him all summer, he still treated me like his gf WHILE seeing other ppl, broke my heart every day. lots of miscommunication, he didn't even explain what he meant by seeing other people- I thought it was just a little break for experimenting and he said we'd get back together for a certain event a month later. the event came, and he made a comment on the way that we were "going as friends." apparently he just meant that we were going to the event together, not that we'd "get back." cried the whole time while he texted other ppl. it was very hard but after a few months I finally decided to put my foot down and leave him so I wouldn't be in so much pain. he told me to still "let him know what I was doing" from then on even though he didn't give me that courtesy. tried to come crying back to me after the girl he was with left him, but I already blocked him because my friends made me realize how shit of a person he was not only to me but to everyone else. he harassed me a bit, showed up at my house & waited for me to come home one night at midnight, and sent me a love letter a couple months ago. but I already found a man who actually respects me so in the end it's a W for me

My ex husband tried to pull this shit with me too.. as soon as I started talking to someone else he wanted to close the relationship again. Then he assaulted me and went to jail and I left and we got divorced.

If she ends up closing the marriage she’ll end up just hurting the new guy who helped her and he’s a person too like it’s to the point she’s traveling with the new guy . She should leave the husband

1000% leave him.

I remember hearing this somewhere else, but the whole story is just insane! Like there’s a couple (2?) posts from him before this one you read and I think an update from both of them. The saga is WILD

He’s so disgusting I seen a comment down below saying “he just wanted to cheat without making it look bad” I 100% agree! To know that your wife is suffering and in pain and all you can think about is getting your fix? I’m glad she found someone else who will help her and possibly make a better life than the one she was dealt with! The husband to me sounds like an emotional abuser and he does whatever he wants but wants to see her hurt and below his feet! Ughhh I’m so angry!

I personally could never trust someone who has cheated. I’m not about to stick around and figure out which bucket they’re in.

He just wanted to cheat with extra steps

It’s the audacity for me. He had the audacity to suggest this open relationship, and he now has the audacity to try and crush her newfound happiness. ALSO- it’s the AUDACITY to ultimatum her into consenting to letting him bring women home. (Referring to the “Unless you want me to spend that kind of money constantly- lemme bring women home to the basement.”)

hearing his side makes it even worse, he sounds like the villain even from his side

plus if they stay together, i just know he’s going to use this other guy against her in future arguments

She is divorcing him and is still seeing the other guy

This one. This one had me absolutely seething at work, what a piece of shit of a husband

He clearly wasn't interested in a true open marriage. What he wanted was the freedom have sex with whoever he wanted, without her being able to be mad that he was Cheating because "we both agreed to an open marriage". It's pretty obvious that he never intended for HER to explore other options outside the marriage, he wanted a free pass with the assumption that he'd still have his little wife at home to keep house and care for him and their children. The entitlement of this man is just shocking. Very telling that the moment SHE decides to act on their "open marriage" he suddenly doesn't want it anymore and wants her to focus on "their relationship". The relationship he's been shitting all over for the duration of his escapades to the detriment of his spouse.

It honestly seems like things have not panned out on his end and he realized that others are capable of loving her better.

Already knew I have an amazing husband, but these stories make me really appreciate it even more

It is abuse and he is a manipulator and someone like this fully only “changes” in order to maintain the version of her that he holds the most power over. People like the version of you that they hold the most power of you no matter what you change or what you do. I hope she gets out of that relationship and gets support that she needs.

He blackmailed her to let him did what he wanted on their house. Run please run

I went through similar situations. This will not get better. She should leave.

Oooo I love the Valentine intro, definitely looks like merch

The way he could have spent $700 to take his wife somewhere and work on his marriage. 🤦‍♀️

I remember reading his post! I need to see if I can find it!

Divorce. If that’s not in the cards, do not be stupid enough to leave the other guy for him. He didn’t care about you and STILL DOESNT. He just realized that what he attracted was flings and you attracted a real man, a potential ACTUAL replacement. He felt threatened that’s why he closed your marriage. Not because he loves you or will love you. He’s a POS and deserves to be alone and or watch you be happy with someone else ❤

Hearing stories like this make me want to write-in with my own. It's wild (and sad) how similar people's lives can be.

I feel like you guys have read that guys Reddit post is sounds very familiar.

$700 of family money on a getaway with a person he is casually dating?! Dude. You have kids. You are responsible for a family.

Never been earLy on these vids this is nice!

0:53 this is literally a storyline from American Horror Story

I am blown away by the sheer unfairness of this situation. No offense to the woman and her kids, but how could you give a pos like that the privilege to continue his bloodline. It’s just not fair to humanity.

I am sorry, but any real life experience I've had with Poly relationships is through my friends, who are women who are absolutely stunning and perfect on every level and absolutely devoted to their man, who all the sudden is manipulating them into "healing" their long term relationship, by basically letting the man just cheat with random women while putting them at high risk for STDs, because even condoms aren't protecting from 100% of everything, especially considering a lot of people do oral bare. Then the husband gets mad when their wife actually finds someone who takes them on dates, listens to their feelings, doesn't degrade them, and hasn't completely ruined their sex life by being addicted to porn, ruining her confidence with insults and comparisons, or sleeping with 100 strange women and calling it healing. I am not saying Poly relationships can't work, but probably not if you two were monogamous for years, then all the sudden one party wants to cheat yet not loose access to their partner they're used to by calling it poly, so the partner accepts only because they don't want to loose a long term relationship that easily and hope if they get it out of their system it will be done.

i was just binge watching other episodes, this came at the perfect timing

There is no going back to what they were 3 years ago. Too much has happened. He was wrong in the beginning to treat her that way after a tragedy and to even suggest the open relationship. Instead of leaving and making him understand his wrongdoing, she fed into his behavior. Now they are both doing this and are teaching their children this. Petty and childish and toxic behavior.

dude has no respect for the marriage he made to his wife, the mother of his children or to the woman who he made vows to. He divorce him, get custody of the kids and drain him for child support.

This whole story is horrifying from beginning to end. This poor woman. And I feel like I've seen so many instances of this happening exactly this way: relationship is rocky and sex life is lessened due to an illness or trauma, man pushes to open the relationship, woman reluctantly agrees, man is happy to ignore woman's suffering until she gets into it and starts having fun, then suddenly he's ready to be monogamous again and gets upset when she's not. I don't know who needs to hear this, but open relationships and polyamory are not couples' therapy. They are not relationship fixers. They require, as was said in the video, a lot of trust and open communication. If your monogamous relationship is shaky and unstable, that is not the time to invite additional parties in. And frankly, if your previously monogamous partner starts pushing for an open relationship when things are rocky, ESPECIALLY if they cite your lack of interest in sex as a reason, run. Just run. Don't wait around hoping things will get better; they likely won't. Because that behavior is a clear sign that your significant other cares more about getting their rocks off than about you or the relationship. Even if you have kids, leave. A divorce will traumatize them less than the toxicity you're about to be mired in and the toll it will take on your mental health if you stay.

Not even three minutes in and I’m like “OH F*** NO”

I believe the wife ended up leaving the husband. There was an update on the wife’s end on another video I watched.

Oh man I really wanna hear his post if anyone knows it or if they have read it on here please let me know... he sounds like a DB I just gotta know how big!

Uuugh I can't even finish this one. The fact that she is still wanting to take him back after she almost died in childbirth is so fucking sad. I feel sick.

I had a miscarriage incredibly early on in my first pregnancy and my fiance was so devastated by the loss, he experienced the same loss in sex drive i did. We grieved together and when we had sex again, it was *together.* Neither of us would suggest an open marriage if the other was having problems like that because we know who we are and what that could do to us. (Me and my fiance both respect polyamorous people but we could genuinely never, we're pretty jealous people 😬) We mean enough to each other to literally jerk off instead of bringing strangers into OUR HOME for meaningless sex that the other partner resents.

Also a word on open relationships: both partners should 100% want it. And if you think you want it ask yourself if you'd actually be happy with your Partner sleeping with other people. Dont just look at like oh yeah awesome I can fuck whoever I want. No actually imagine your Partner having Sex with other people. How do you feel?

No, boo-boo. You leave his ass. He threw you away when you were grieving.

Does anyone have the link to the husband's post? I want to see how much he twisted it.

Thanks for the ep! I found you trough Tiktok and love your content!! Would you mind sharing the links in the descripción box so that we can look for updates? THANK YOU!

so whats the reddit account so I can go read comments and updates

Hi!! It would be really nice if you could reference what video belongs to each podcast episode! I love watching it, but sometimes I can only listen to the podcast and it's confusing to know where I left off and what includes what 😊

I keep looking for the other parts of this story and can not find it and no it’s not posted in the comments like others have said can’t find it anywhere

Update: she is getting divorced

One fails as a partner if they do not make it a priority to notice their significant other’s wellbeing. This woman was crying herself to sleep, there had to be signs she was not okay. Plus he was so concerned about the lack of physical intimacy that he didn’t ask his wife why. He is a self centered man who takes others for granted when he is not gaining from them.

After going through a loss similar to what she mentioned, it pains me to hear how selfish he was in that instance. I put my wife first and made sure her well-being was high on the priority list. This woman needed him more than anything during that time of loss and all he could think of was getting his rocks off. Just disgusting.

The way they pointed out that he got upset when she found a genuine connection while he filled the void with women... Just how common is this when a guy decides to open their marriage only to show just how little they truly disrespect their partner?? Everything I sought to learn to accept it when my now ex asked to open the relationship always emphasized the importance of respect, of communication, of making sure the relationship is steady before adding more to the mix. Doing otherwise is truly about eating your cake and having it too but how dare she try to process and find her own footing?? Honestly, the biggest takeaway I had in my experience is that people who are truly poly or open are willing to learn or at least slow down to make sure things steady first before continue forth. People like my ex and this guy... just no. They use it to make it seem like oh you just need to try harder or oh well I wouldn't have to go looking for this in others if you were just better. They truly are filling a void that is not human shaped. Case in point, my ex had multiple chances and ruined each one. Crossed boundaries, ignored "rules" we had to help take things slow and make sure both of us felt steady before moving forward, and just kept getting worse until finally he cheated on not just me but his other girlfriends too. It took his gf that had a similar past being like hey you should tell the whole truth before he finally owned up to it fully and lost not only his other gfs but a marriage (we had gotten married after a year of things finally feeling steady for the first time in our engagement). Once someone does this, its not poly or open. Its an excuse to be selfish, manipulative, and reckless while putting the blame on the other person, probably with a touch of emotional abuse or at least gaslighting and low respect. Just saying. You both hit it on the hecking head!

Divorce babe divorce

I am intrigued to see the husbands post... does anyone have a link?!

So he can do what he wants but the second she does anything it’s a problem? Double standards much.

Selfishness and ego is a disease

In a poly relationship It's all about making sure everyone is feeling loved, and everyone's emotions being tended to. He wasn't even there for her emotionally, the open relationship was only there to benefit him it sounds like.

I have read this story before with more updates-from what I remember the kids weren’t there when other people were coming over, but they most definitely would have picked up on their parents’ emotions and as soon as they find out what their father did, they’re going to cut contact with him and he’s going to go surprised pikachu because he’s so self involved and narcissistic. Also, this isn’t what a poly relationship is like- I have had poly friends explain that there’s rules they follow and they can’t just change things up the last minute like the husband did. It’s discussed if someone feels a certain way, not acting like the main lead.

does anyone have the links to the posts made by the husband and the wife?

His actions show who he is and what he’s capable of giving her emotionally. He isn’t the person she needs. I don’t think they would be able to move forward with a positive, monogamous relationship after what he’s done and said.

Leave him. He is only interested in you because someone else is and it’s not because he has become aware of whatever, it’s because he sees you his stuff, he doesn’t want someone to touch his stuff and you to do what he wants

sometimes violence is the answer

I wish you would include links to the reddit posts you talk about

Not only is it an insane amount of money but it's the time away. Opening it up sexually shouldn't include him having a whole nother relationship with other girls. Weekend aways etc.

Sounds just like my last relationship, when someone one showed interest in me my ex got in the middle and shut that down.

Which episode is this from? Def have to listen to the whole thing

Meh. I wouldn't tell her to leave her husband. They tried something new and it didn't work. If she thought leaving was the answer she would've done that for the new guy already.