I Asked 55k People "Would You Rather" Questions. Here's the Results 

Wilbur: “I’d hate to be intelligent.” Also Wilbur: “I’d go back to being five so I can be the smartest five year old ever.”

wilbur: i wouldnt be able to play guitar if i was deaf beethoven: allow me to introduce myself

As someone who has suffered from severe OCD in the past, I will definetly NOT let anyone see all the intrusive thoughts I've ever had.

Two years later and Wilbur still has the "you can kill the dog pee but you can't kill the pee dog" in his RU-vid bio...dedication

*Wilbur talking about how he can’t play music if he’s deaf* Beethoven: am I a fucking joke to you?

“I have a very faint sense of taste” “Hamburgers are quite bland”

Note to self: Do not dance near Wilbur unless you want to be punched in the crotch (edit: HOLY- HOW DID THIS BLOW UP-)

"you can kill the dog pee but you can't kill the pee dog" This sentence is still in his description and it's been over 3 years. I love it. Whoever wrote this sentence, congradulations.

“I’m going to skip 2020” 2019: Why would you do that? That’s stupid! 2020: *g e n i u s*

Note to self: Don’t wait at a train station near Wilbur.

The “Love or be loved” question was depressing for me to answer I’ve been in 2 relationships that were longer than 2 months. It’s always the same situation: We both like eachother, but after a month I lose feelings, and the other person doesn’t. I stay in the relationship to not make them upset, but end up having panic /anxiety attacks. So easily, I would like to be able to Love

if my parents saw all the bad thoughts ive ever had id be in a mental hospital 😭

“Unless your thoughts are bad things about your parents-“ *cries in intrusive thoughts mixed with bad parental relationships*

if i gave my parents a book of every bad thought i had, id be in more than just therapy

“Maybe if we all just sixty-nined each other, the world would be a better place.” -Wilbur Soot, 2019.

As for the deaf or blind one, I would chose deaf because there are things called cochlear implants that can make you hear again.

"burgers are bland" also Wilbur: "I have barely any taste"

Would you rather lose a sense of smell or taste? Covid: Yes.

Hello past Wilbur. I am watching this three years into the future. You look so much happier and healthier in the future so hang in there

It’s been four years… Wilbur’s channel description still says #youcankillthepeedogbutyoucantkillthedogpee. 😭FOUR YEARS

"I guess a lot of people use their eyes" Says Wilbur, having a job that revolves entirely around using a computer.

“I’d choose the book of bad thoughts” I N T R U S I V E T H O U G H T S

i THINK the safe one is that people don't feel safe at school/home and they want to be able to be safe and feel safe because they always feel unsafe.

If I had to live without music my entire life, I WOULD DIE.

“Is that just greed?” No Wilbur. That is just taxes. -American

“I would rather skip the next year” *H E K N E W*

the fact that the "you can kill the pee dog but you can't kill the dog pee" is still in his channel bio is just impressive and it made my day honestly lmao

Everyone would think I'm a weird, immature phsyco if they saw my thoughts, and I like being cool and mature!

Wilbur: * keeps talking about pushing people in front of oncoming trains* My recommended: *_Running down pedestrians in bus simulator_*

No one wants to share their fetishes to their parents wilbur

I'm totally not re-watching old Wilbur videos because i miss him

i would have picked the magic shower my reasoning is that i can still go into the shower while clean, and also, i like to sleep, its fun, but you cant sleep if your fully rested.

Yep... he picked correctly when he said “skip next year”...

Wilbur: singing along to songs quietly is quite cute. that one kid, quietly: "All the other kids with the pumped up kicks, you better --"

Would you rather be free or would you rather be safe? Wilbur: 30% of people answered they'd rather be safe Me: I have one word to explain on ny behalf. Anxiety.

As someone with quite severe hypersensitivity, showers are horrible for me (lights, temp changes, scents, water pressure changes, touching wet surfaces etc) so the 1 a week shower would save me a lot of stress. But I’m also a STEM student, so the bed would help me be less behind/stressed…. maybe?

Guess Wilbur just really wants to push everyone off of trains

Imagine being the most intelligent in the room next to another person with the same ability.

I love how the Safe or free question is arguably the most political question ever

9:20 wow he really did write soft boy for more that 2 years

The pee dog question made me suddenly incredibly aware of my mortality

Wilbur: I’d rather skip the next year 2020: good call

You should do more of these! I like it

1. Every bad thing as I don't act on anything 2. Skip next year 3. I rather be in a relationship for 5 years as honestly I've experienced love and rather be alone then force myself in a relationship I'm not happy 4. Taste. My smell is incredibly good and helps me so much in life its unbelievable. I'm socially dense and the only way I can figure out what people think is smelling them. 5. Deaf cause I think life would be easier and I have a lower chance of getting struck by a car cause I can't see 6. Wealth, music is amazing 7. Free, freedom is one of my main values and being able to do what I like when I like is a dream 8. 75k easily. I like freedom 9. Back to age 5, as I will know all mistakes I make, I could perfect my world 10. Beginning 11. Sing, dancing is a bit much but singing I sing good 12. Soda, I have zero pops so I should be ok 13. This ones tricky cause I don't plan on leaving my home city but for my line of work I may need to, now its tricky, if I could travel for work easily never leave my town but if I can't travel for work I rather be a nomad. 14. Neck down, I'm happy with my face but I want to have big musculature 15. I'm usually the smartest so I'll also be funniest 16. How, maybe I can change it, maybe I can't, rather just think I'll die at 82 after falling into a meat grinder than know I'll die at 28 by saving a family. I rather know how I die than when. 17. I want to be loved, feeling loved is something I haven't felt, atleast not by someone outside of family and I've felt love when the feelings werent reciprocated. 18. I walk more then jump, but I can jump a lot for money. Probably jump 19. I'm not naturally smelly and showering is nice, a magic bed cuts my problems in half 20. Dog made of pee, I'll sell it to the government for 100k

I guess people who wanted to skip 2020, chose right.

The magic bed and the jumping for a dollar is a very powerful combo. While everyone else is asleep at 4 in the morning, you’re jumping around making bank.

2 years ago and he still has the “you can kill the pee dog but you can’t kill the dog pee”

With the work for yourself or someone else question I personally didn’t mind either money side as they are both good but for me I feel better with someone else telling me what to do as they can tell me right or wrong in the way I’m working. Enjoyed the video:)

I love that the “you can kill the pee dog, but you can’t kill the dog pee” is still in his bio.

*2019* "I'm going to skip next year" good choice

I'd give my parents the book of bad thoughts, sneak into their room, and take it and burn it

I didn't choose work for someone else because I want more money, but because I don't want to work for myself, aside from very few situations. I would probably just be stressed and pressuring myself to work all the time, and end up burning myself out because I don't know when I've done enough. Sure, I'd probably perfect that over time, but that would be a very stressful start, and I do enjoy working for other people. I like knowing what to do, when to do it, how to do it, and for how long. That seems a lot simpler and more enjoyable for me.

"I like control" Wilbur will be our new dictator in 10 years and I honestly wouldn't object

"I guess a lot of people use their eyes in day to day life" - Wilbur Soot, 2019

With the love or be loved question. That, that hit way to close to home. I never really loved my step-dad properly, and I dont know why, I feel bad and mad at myself that I don't love him as much as he loves me, and the love but they don't love you, mind you this was when I was 11, I fell in love with a girl in my class and, she OBVIOUSLY was straight. I was bestfriends with her, she would talk to me about her crush on thus guy, and it broke my heart, I never told her but, we were in a trio of bffs, we were the trio of three girls, and I personally never think that trios ever work out. I was the one left behind, one of the girls in the trio, the one I didn't have a crush on, said I was weird and didn't wanna be bffs with me anymore because im lesbian. So we never talked since, I'm still in contact with the girl I used to have a crush on, well, not really used to, but when I was 11 and my bffs parted from me, I felt alone, and this was just before I moved houses, then I actually realised how small amount of friends I had, in my old neighbourhood I had 3 friends, we would go outside and play adventure games with fake swords everyday, and we made this giant base from a giant old tree because the branches covered through like a dome, and we would work on our base till 8pm when our mums would call us in, and when we finished the base we were celebrating like crazy! We had so much fun. I swear I know this I'd like just a dumb quote but alot can change in a year or two, and you never realise how much you cherished something till its gone, and I literally went through the pain of so much loss at such a young age, for example, when I was 11 I had a trio of bffs in school, we would hangout and stay awake at sleepovers till 3am, and in my neighbourhood I had 4 other friends where we would play dnd and go outside and play adventure games with sticks and such, now I'm 13 and I've dealt with losing bestfriends BECAUSE I'm lesbian, was heartbroken from love I had, and moved away from my friends, and we aren't even thar close anymore, they even tell me when I get the chance to meet up with them that hanging about in the neighbourhood isn't the same without me. And now I've recovered, I still don't have a proper group of friends but, I'm working on it. GOD IVE BEEN RAMBLING ON IM SO SORRY IF IVE RUINED YOUR MOOD OR ANYTHING!!!

The blind or deaf question got me!! I’m an artist and a musician come on man you’re killing me 😭

Shop owner: that'll be £4.20. Dude: *jumps 5 times* Dude: *hands £5.00* don't worry about the change.

“Maybe if we all just sixty-nined each other the world would be a better place”- Wilbur Soot 2019

I would choose a book if intrusive thoughts, but only if it were alphabetically ordered. They’d never get through that thing.

wilbur is clearly one of those super good guys who has a never had a bad thought in his life

Okay but imagine being at a funeral and having to dance along to the music the whole time

For the five year old question, I assumed that he meant that you would go back both ways but with different knowledge, but I’d still pick the current knowledge because the future knowledge wouldn’t make sense to me and i won’t know even basic 5 year old stuff since it’s only the stuff I learn later

For the dating one, I feel so strongly about it and that is that I would any day take the heart break of losing 5 years of happiness over a lifetime of nothing its a wonderful thing to love to fall apart to change and grow its apart of what makes us human and I would so much rather deal with pain and suffering than regret my entire life. I once watched a stand up comedy act and a part of it talks about how so many people are dating and married not because they love the other person because they feel as though they have to. I would so much rather be with someone who loves me for a short amount of time than be with someone who loves a version of me they have made up in their head

Little did he know, that joke scared off the sniper paid to kill him

Wilbur: I don't like being bossed around Jschlatt: I'm about to end this man's career

idk wilbur, $1 is actually fuccin HUGE for just a jump, and when you're earning 100x more for a thing that only takes like 3x more effort it makes more sense - even if you continued working a fulltime job and just took like 1h out of the day to jump you could be making $1m per year just from that

I would rather give my parents a book of bad thoughts I’ve had because it would be too long for them to possibly read.

"one cent for every step, or one dollar per jump" *cries in wheelchair*

Man if I had been watching back then I would have so easily been able to answer the lose sense of smell or taste lol, I have never been able to smell cause nose got crushed in birth XD. I love these videos though because I find people's thought processes fascinating lol

I definitely think bad things would be better because I would one-hundred percent end up in an insane asylum if I shared my thoughts with anyone

1 year later, his channel bio still says “You can kill the pee dog but you can’t kill the dog pee”

"I'd like to know *how* I'm going to die" "Hit by a brand new 2025 Ford Focus"

You should do another one of these!

I’m watching Wilbur rn cause he's my discomfort streamer so well…. According to logic looking at my discomfort streamer while I’m crying makes absolute sense

Wilbur: "Is it greed?" Americans: "Insurance"

“I would not punch a dancing person in the face!” “ *I’d do it in the g r o i n* “

i think knowing when you'll die is better bc you can say your goodbyes and stuff. plus it's like a deadline you know? it might motivate me to do everything i wanna do before that date

2 years later and he still has it in his bio.

Wilbur: Why would americans turn down 75k/year?? must be greed NY's estimated expenses for a comfortable life: 128k/year

i feel like Wilburs aesthetic now is accidental out of focus shots

Back to age 5 with everything you know now or know everything now that your future self will learn. I could NEVER go back to age 5 and watch all those fights my parents had over again. I could NEVER have that first fight with my father and spend a week after that hoping everything would just end. I could NEVER watch my mom and dad divorce once again. I could NEVER go back to my old school and sit behind the portable rooms to cry after my parents fought. And I could NEVER have that awful, awful, terrified feeling of standing up to my dad once again. I couldn’t, I just couldn’t. Too many thoughts of ending everything came to my head back then, too many times of which I had the realization that knives and guns were in the other room, of which I could use to end the misery. I STILL haven’t gotten over those thoughts, I STILL fight with my father and cry for hours afterwards, and there is nothing I can do. I couldn’t live that life over again, trying to be perfect so that I could be praised then safely ignored, I just COULDN’T. That’s why I’d choose the second option, and use that knowledge to my advantage. To win those fights, get over the pain, and FINALLY live a life where I choose everything. It would be the best option for me.

1. As much as I would love to be free I just always have thing nagging fear that I’m being watched or something bad will happen, so to be safe would most likely cure that fear. I could probably fine ways to have fun with all of those limitations but it would suck after a while. I would have to give up a lot of my favorite hobbies to be completely safe, for example: I love exploring things, I would have to give that up to be safe. That was a really good and hard to answer question there mate 2. Personally I would want to know when I die because then I could live my life to the fullest. I could spend more time with loved ones, travel, or do whatever until that day you know. Realistically If I knew how or when I would die I would become even more paranoid then I already am but that’s whatever. Again that’s a hard question, good job though Also if you see this, Hi Wilbur o/

I would rather know when I'd die. If I knew how, I'd just be so paranoid. Like, say I got, "kicked in the chest by a llama". I'd be going up to people and saying, "There's no llamas nearby, is there?" Whereas, if I got when, I could do anything I liked until that day. I could eat whatever I wanted, I wouldn't care about health and hygiene. Heck, I could get kicked in the chest by a llama every day in the morning and know I'd be ok. That way, when I forget about the day and get kicked by the llama in the morning as usual, I'd know I'd had a good run.

wilbur: there’s no way i’m pushing a dog out of my urtethra women: 👁👄👁

The question "Would you rather go back to age 5 with everything you know now or know now everything your future self will learn?" has haunted my dreams and imagination, ESPECIALLY my imaginary stories and plotlines that drive my creativity. I relied on those, and now a lot of them involve going back to being young with my current knowledge and fixing my mistakes. Bruh.

The problem with the work for someone else or for myself one is: *I wouldn't trust myself to be a good boss*

"I guess a lot of people use their eyes on their day to day life" *yes wilbur we do*

“I guess people like using their eyes.” No Wilbur

one thing I learned is: never stand next to wilbur at a train station

13:27........wilburs way of communicating his toxic relationship with shubble but we never understood until today :( i wish this didnt happen... #wilbursupport

the real reason london puts barriers on the tubeline is because of wilbur wanting to push people in front of a train edit: this was just a random thought idk why so many people are liking this but ty lol

For someone that doesn’t actually do a lot of bad things, showing the bad thought would ruin everything

Losing the income of money is something I can deal with, but music is a key part in my everyday life and I wouldn’t be able to survive without it.

I was laughing for like 10 minutes because, "HOW THE FUCK IS YOUR PISS MADE OF DOG"

i’m being so serious when i say, my parents would never EVER look at me the same if they saw my thoughts

I love that "you can kill the pee dog but you can't kill the dog pee" is still in his channel bio

9:54 the amount of bad things I've done is very small but I would actually die before telling anyone my bad thoughts

"why dont you like showering?" dysphoria, alot of people die of it and i hate it

“Would you rather give your parents a book of everything bad thought, or a book of everything bad thing you’ve done” I don’t want to go to a mental hospital so uh- neither please-

"would you rather live without money or without music?" deaf people: hmmmmm...