Underneath an attractive exterior can be an ugly personality. With the passing of time, beauty fades, while inner beauty - the qualities of the heart - become more pronounced and lasting. How wise, then, to work on developing such qualities as love, joy, peace, generous patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, self-control!
Pretty Privilege is something that hurts me emotionally more than anything I have ever felt emotions for. It makes me cry. You are not taking up space, you are simply living. I have been overviewing your channel and it is so cool. Honestly, I am so happy people like you are overlooking issues like this. Xx It really does mean a lot...
You couldn't have said it better. "You'll never be someone's ideal". I had only one gf, and she didnt find me attractive although she liked my personality. The whole time she was with me, it felt like she wasn't really present. Like she was only my gf on paper. No matter what we say or how good we aim to be, physical attraction will always be a necessary component of evolution.
It's worth remembering, though, that the reason that someone feels ideal as a partner is usually due to the whole package, not just physical appearance in isolation. It can be argued that a certain minimum of physical attractiveness is necessary for that package, and that a beautiful appearance can compensate for what is missing in other areas -- both claims are probably true for most people -- but even that minimum varies, culturally and individually.
Also, you said your ex "liked" your personality. Does that mean she just enjoyed your company, found you pleasant and interesting enough? Or that your personality had a unique combination of several things that she was strongly drawn to and couldn't find anywhere else? My point is that if she wasn't really present, it could also have been due, at least in part, to the fact that while she did like you as a person, you weren't ideally compatible personality-wise -- as compatible as you could have been with someone else. One of the highest-ranked personality traits in men for women is confidence. And while it would be BS to say that confidence alone could garner partners, it is certainly true that a below-average person with great confidence is more attractive than a below-average person with low confidence. And while confidence is very challenging to develop with below-average looks, it is also true that there are people who a) explicitly call themselves ugly, and b) are nevertheless confident. In fact, I would say that those are the most confident people, by far: the confidence of beautiful people only reflects their external circumstances (positive feedback), whereas below-average people build confidence on their own, with strength of character.
@@huugosorsselsson4122 Of course, you've pointed out lots of truths there. But you should check out Alexander Graces' channel. He talks about how personality only matters when a certain standard of attractiveness is met. He primarily advises men, but you can say the same thing about women too. It's like if you're looking for a car and your favorite color is electric blue. Disregarding money, would you rather have a Lamborghini in white, or a Honda Civic in electric blue? You'd probably pick the Lambi. In this analogy, the color is the personality, and the car make/model represents lookism. Of course you'd rather have both, but if you have to choose, one takes priority over the other. But on the side note I have noticed about this girl that she seems to believe lookism is only an issue when it comes to women being subjected towards it. If a man complains he's a victim of lookism from women, her empathy and sympathy stops at that door. I even saw her comment on another video saying she 'wishes looks weren't so important when it comes to women.' The reality is it applies equally to both genders.
@@d35trvct08 The view you illustrate with the car analogy is just what I mentioned above: “a certain minimum of physical attractiveness is necessary for that package" & "a beautiful appearance can compensate for what is missing in other areas." I have in fact watched multiple videos from Alexander Grace and they seem rather one-sided - to say the least. In dating and relationships, people in general tend to act selfishly, primarily looking for what they can get out of it - rather than what they can give. And when men and women don’t get what they want from each other, they easily become disappointed and bitter. I’ve watched dating advice videos for men and dating advice videos for women, and the comment sections - echo chambers - are entirely symmetrical: they are all about how shitty the opposite gender is. A man can say “I thought she would be interested in who I am as a person, but all she really wants is money, power, and looks, in order to elevate her own social status”; a woman can say “I thought he was interested in who I am, but all he really wants is sex; the only thing men care about in women, anyway, is their body.” And so it becomes an all-out gender war. For every Alexander Grace wanting to hammer home how shallow, selfish, and difficult women are, you are sure to find a woman saying that all men are trash and pigs. And whether you’re a man or a woman, when you browse the Internet, it’s really easy to focus on whatever reinforces your negative experiences, exaggerating and generalizing them. One reason I bring all that up is what you said about this RU-vidr: you are watching her videos and reading her comments through the ‘men vs. women’ narrative even though they are not about that, and making assumptions about her empathy or lack thereof. Who knows whether she feels sorry for men rejected for their looks; maybe she does, maybe she doesn’t. Do you yourself spend a lot of time thinking empathetically about obese women being only used for sex? Maybe you do, maybe you don’t. I think it’s natural that people mainly focus on their own lived experience. Compassion starts with yourself, then extends into the circle of those you identify with (in this case your own gender), and finally (if ever) into all people. My own perspective is that people in general, regardless of gender, are often shallow and selfish - they use each other, cheat, etc. - but that there are many good ones out there as well, and this whole gender war is a distorting oversimplification that is making things worse.
@@huugosorsselsson4122 I would add that good people frequently are naive, so they meet people with bad behavior and get hurt or exploited. Since parents failed to teach their children to live in the world as it really is, many them have to figure out by themselves. Some learned it in young age, others will be a doormat until their last days, resentful of the life.
Plz don’t stop posting vids, you represent me , it is just so helpful to know that you are not alone and there are other people have the same feelings and thoughts.
I know what feeling invisible feels like, that's how people have treated me my entire life. And I relate to what you said about having to build up every other aspect of your life, and then still not being good enough for other people or measuring up in some way. Thanks for making this video ❤
"Everybody wants to be above average" it's very true!I have a toxic friend who's hardly even average and always picks me on for my appearance!It's as if he constantly needs auto validation that he's good looking!Sometimes, I really feel like punching him in his face!
Yeah its true that in our world there are some people that considered as unattractive/below average and attractive people. And without unattractive people, the attractive people won't be considered as attractive. It just how the world work. I undeestand you, i also have been through all these society attractiveness standards. It's suck to be someone that is unattractive/below average.
i feel like im being taunted because im completely aware of how i should feel about myself, but i feel as if i am truthfully just ugly and AM NOT the same as everyone else. Have absolutely no consolation other than abusing drugs and alcohol and living carelessly. I feel you.
Only because not looking like the ideal you still can be beautiful, it’s your thoughts that make you depressed not your looks. I think your very beautiful!!
Hi as a human existing, your beautiful this world is just evil, life is hard and God knows your beautiful. I appreciate your video, your beautiful take care of your health and your faith of God. Your beautiful and smile often cause it make you healthy. Hope God bless you with a good health.
I agree with what you mean but everyone deserves to matter ignoring their differences. At least I have junk that’s what I got. But I don’t agree with you calling yourself ugly when it’s not fukn true.
I went back and watched some of your videos, and it's very interesting. I just don't see it. I don't see "ugly" on you. I definitely understand and have felt the feeling though. And when I think about, it is a horrifying way to feel about yourself. However - just like sometimes we can paint a picture and think it's the greatest thing in the world (when it isn't), we can also judge ourselves and think that our judgement will be a representation of what others think - and often times we are way off. Anyway, all that said, thanks for posting these videos. Good luck. :)
I do not see, that you are unattractive. I like you eyes, voice and face. You are good at heart and you are NOT below average. BDD is a bad disorder and it is restricting your life. I have some kind of disorder when it comes to start dating. I think that I'm not good enough...never ever. I know, that I have low self-esteem, anyways I cannot love myself. Maybe I need to be perfect to deserve to be loved.
I hope you see this. You are beautiful. People made you believe that you are ugly because they felt your insecurity because a lot of people are selfish af and love to hold someone like you down. I experienced it myself. Thats a life lesson, dont give a shit about people opinions. Even if you were ugly, how absolutely evil it was to treat you like trash. Think about it. I love your sweet personality and i find you very attractive.
You made me very happy today i don't known if i am attractive i mean my family says that i am but I'm not sure if their saying it because i am their son or nephew or cousin.
Have a right to be ugly, lol. It's true though.Why aren't people allowed to be ugly and introverted. Why do extrovert bullies have to try to 'bring them out of their shell'. Why can't they just leave people alone?
Who has told you your ugly? I can’t believe u think ur ugly u hav a symmetrical face interesting eye shape, straight teeth u hav healthy hair too u hav a lot to b proud of. I think ur trying to make urself look ugly but your not so you can’t. You aren’t ugly don’t say that otherwise your brain will believe it. U also have no makeup on, all these girls online have tons on and u are prettier than them with none on, you are natural and look better than a lot of people. U have beautiful clear pale skin u are very pretty!
To be honest, I dnt think she will listen. Enough idiots have already damage her self esteem. What she does not understand is those "pretty gals" out there wears so much make up and without them?
To be honest, you are not ugly, I'm not really trying to comfort you, Just think about the people who are blind, think about the people who don't have legs, arms, Are we not lucky in that way ? and but you are not ugly I'm a guy I find you beautiful, Seeing you beautiful depends on people's eyes, I mean some find you unattractive some people find you beautiful, trust me you are not ugly.
I know that doesn't matter what anyone says you just gonna think it's people trying to be kind, because we don't actually want to hear from other people that we are pretty, we want to look in the mirror and actually see and feel pretty. But I'm gonna be honest, girl you're really attractive. Don't know how your experiences in life have been, but in my country people who look like you are the beauty standard, you have great bone structure, eyes, eyebrows and voice. Hope you see how beautiful you really are someday
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got. Ive quit barking up the tree of these shallow lookist zombies who rule our social hierarchy. Like you said finding like minded people is the key and it just takes some outward positive energy that someone like you would resonate with. If you care haha i wouldnt.
Why don't you try traveling. You will change the name of your RU-vid channel. You will see so much beauty of life and you will discover so much about your strengths and unleash your inner beauty that you will be shocked so many people will appreciate. This constant confession of "am ugly" will change. There's evidence of cancer patients who lived indefinitely after they took what they though was their last voyage before they die. Try traveling young lady. Go out there and learn the cultures of the world.
You make complete sense, but you're speaking from the western media context. There are normal, non-shallow everyday people who don't see you as "ugly". You said it in this video, change your circle... there's a whole world out there you're missing out on. Keep making videos, though... this is needed.
I am a guy and I am going to be brutally honest with you. I hope I don't offend or hurt you. You obviously suffer from low self esteem and body image. You are not ugly, you are plain. I think a short hair cut just below your ears and color your hair auburn would highlight your beauty. I can't tell, but get your ears pierced. Also try getting a tan for a bit of a glow. These are all easy things to do. I also think a colorful dress that goes to your knees would build confidence. You also have something guys love that is difficult to find at your age. And that is a person who can hold an intelligent conversation. This isn't mean, but you look and remind me of the character Adrian in the Rocky film before she come out of her shell. But seriously, stop beating up on yourself. I can feel your pain. You are not ugly, just plain. But you possess the ability to have an intelligent conversation and that absolutely beats those supposed hot girls who can't put the phone down and act so freaking stupid like they need detailed instructions on how to use a roll of toilet paper 😂😂😂
This might sound random but I think you’d be a great actress like I could see you in a movie, you’re absolutely not ugly and I’m not saying that to be nice, you have amazing lips, your eyes are so pretty and I wish I had the same, rosy cheeks are cute and it’s what so many people try to achieve with blush, same with your lips they’re so beautiful and there’s so many people who get lip injections just to look how you look
Oh and also... You always say that you are ugly, but honestly, I think you are pretty. I love your personality and that doubles the amount of beauty on a physical appearance...
I just discovered your channel yesterday and have watched all your videos I understand the feeling of being unattractive but honestly I think you're an attractive woman even with your condition
Looks are going to take you only so far in a relation (either friendship or something more personal). I think i get your point and "fixation" on looks given your age, but no long term relation supports itself on that alone, i wouldsay it might be the least important thing. Putting that aside, nothing stops you from being the best you can be with what you are given. You might go to the gym and train your body, both for looks and health (you can prioritize those as you wish). Have goals in that regard, focus on yourself and enjoy the ride. At the end of the day, looks are overrated, and i think you are underrating your potential. Anyway, nice video.
I like your voice, isn't that beutiful? I think so, beauty depends greatly on the culture and enviroment, you can be a queen in some other places that you don't believe it.
I fully believe your experience. Nevertheless in my opinion you are attractive. I find your big lips beautiful, I find your eyes beautiful, your brows (very dark), and I find that you're in general cute. And I find your strong hair-colour and your hair in general beautiful. I know you probably don't believe me, but it's my honest opinion. In addition, there are definitely people who are not shallow and enough of them! (And yes many horrible people exist too...)
Some of my experiences: 1º My coordinator was a woman in her 40s. She clearly looked at me in a way that was noticed by my co-workers. Shortly thereafter, I received a promotion with a substantial increase in my salary. She called me into a room, just the two of us, to give me this news. She hit me more than Creed did Rocky Balboa. 2º Another coordinator hired an employee. She clearly protected this employee, throwing much of his workload on others. And what he asked for, she provided, whether it was equipment, help with his projects, and so on. She was very sweet to him and very rude to everyone else. 3º I was once helping the HR department. There was a distinct difference when an employee would speak to someone in HR. If she was pretty, however angry the disgruntled employee was, the tone of voice was mild. The other one, who wasn't so pretty, had to be much more charismatic and put up with some rudeness at the beginning of the conversation. 4º I had worked in an office with a very beautiful woman. One of the directors invited her. She said that would be unprofessional. She was fired after that. 5º In almost every office I've worked for, the receptionists are pretty. And it was not uncommon for many of them to receive expensive gifts and even cars, which with their salary it would be impossible to buy in less than 5 years. 6º In another office, a coworker was a ugly woman. She has guts to deal with bad comments about her appearance from her superiors. Totally unnecessary. What this woman reports is a social dynamic, where people with inferior looks, not necessarily bad looks, have to fight harder to get their own place in the sun, while for others the world rolls out a red carpet. If someone finds you attractive, you can have many privileges. And the greater the frequency of this fact, the further life can take you. It's just life. This will likely not have a solution until gene therapies become commonplace.
