I Don’t Like My Best Friend’s Girlfriend (Should I Tell Him?)

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I Don’t Like My Best Friend’s Girlfriend (Should I Tell Him?)
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20 ноя 2022

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Комментарии : 238

@TheAgentmigs Год назад

Bro, you had 5 years to say something...it's too late. Just be his best man and keep it moving.

@marianemashkalo4182 Год назад

What's wrong with the girl? Yes, it matters.

@AndrielleHillis Год назад

100%! If he actually has a problem with something that she does, that's one thing. However, if it's something that he just doesn't like about her (something as simple as what she does for a living), that's totally different.

@scoobie8amg Год назад

Unless your friend's significant other treats them poorly you just gotta put up with whatever person they choose, not because you like them but because you care about your friend.

@ineedhoez Год назад

Bingo!!!! Speak your peace!

@joey5588 Год назад

true

@penelope5500 Год назад

True. It's just life. Your friends may choose a partner, or just another friend, that you don't like. You either deal with it or, if it's a deal breaker, you move on...

@random-nz7dy Год назад

Or unless they ask you to speak your legitimate opinion into the relationship like "hey man I'm really considering marrying this person I need your honest input". That's the only other situation where it's appropriate to speak your mind but that means in that context you've been given permission to speak hard truth Otherwise they are an adult who has chosen a partner and it's not really your concern to involve yourself in.

@sammorales835 Год назад

“Unless your friends significant other treats them poorly” is the key thing. You have an obligation to speak up if that’s the case. But the end result is the same presented in the video. If they choose their significant other who is abuse to them, then you’re in the same place.

@marlynsantos9677 Год назад

"This relationship has already changed, you just haven't had the courage to tell him it's changed." 🔥🔥

@ronaldnichols9945 Год назад

He never said why he disliked her. Hum.

@vincent8900 Год назад

John explained why he didn't address that in the end. It's just not the point.

@timtresch4848 Год назад

@@vincent8900 John said that because he knows if he had the guy explain the woman's behavior this entire comment section would be filled with dudes who seen their friends marry terrible women who showed the same red flags this one is dropping, and guys whose friends told them their ex wife was dropping these same red flags and it would serve as a giant red pill for all the men who stumble upon this video. John has a problem criticizing women because he knows when you hold women as accountable as men you become labeled a woman hater, a misogynist, sexiest etc The psychology field is full to the gills with gynocentric twerps like him who pull the same game.

@kellharris2491 Год назад

@@vincent8900 but that is the point. Is she abusive? Or what?

@mitchlol5710 Год назад

I think that detail is honestly irrelevant

@timtresch4848 Год назад

@@mitchlol5710 sure dude

@destinybh6179 Год назад

My husband stood by his best friend at his wedding, he did not agree with the marriage and he doesn’t like the girl his friend chose. I told him in the end, that is his life with her and your friendship with him is a different relationship. He has stayed out of their marriage but he still loves his best friend and will always be there for him.

@kayn2756 Год назад

Caller sounds childish. If he felt this way about the potential fiancee, he had 5yrs to say something but chose not to. If he values this friendship, he should look the other way, and learn to like this woman.

@Aaron-kj8dv Год назад

Short answer: no Long answer: nooooooooooo

@LIVEINPEACE2023 Год назад

😂

@limora74 Год назад

Dude, I don't know if you'll read this, but as a fellow Kansan I'd like to share this story with you. My best friend married someone I disagreed with her about. He actually was abusive. When she told me she was engaged to him (I didn't even know they were dating) I was shocked and worried. She told me about his transformation, etc. Etc. Well, I wanted her to be happy and I told her honestly I still had my doubts but I would support her. I was her matron of honor and planned her wedding in two flipping months. A few years later she came to me with some of their marriage issues and granted, it wasn't "abuse" but addiction. The first thing she said is that I would be within my rights to say, "I told you so." I didn't. I loved HER, I was there even when I thought she wasn't making the best decision, I reached out to her often and I was there when she needed me and had no one else to go to. I don't know the details of your friendship, but if you love him you need to be honest and you don't have to walk away from it. You can say, I don't agree with this union, I think it's bad for you for these reasons, but if you choose to go through with it, I will support YOU. I will be there for YOU. I can't imagine choosing to leave my best friend forever. She is still with him and I am still supporting her even as she supports him.

@TheShubLub Год назад

This is the best move. Love first.

@ineedhoez Год назад

Exactly! You can love your friend from afar! If you need me, I'm here but I cant do the day to day drama.

@benjaminhartman4488 Год назад

Excellent advice hope he sees this!

@Lizard_Lava Год назад

Thanks man! I really appreciate hearing that, I will definitely be supporting HIM and HIS life and goals and all that, I just hope that the friendship doesn’t end cuz that’s not what I am aiming for, I just needing that push to actually say something and stop kicking the can down the road

@girlygirl1890 Год назад

@@Lizard_Lava The whole problem here is that there has not been one thing said that she has done to make her such a bad partner for him. So it just appears that it's an issue of "my friend is being taken away, therefore I will lose more of my time with him." And that is wrong and selfish if that's the case.

@ruthgibson6475 Год назад

So this woman is good enough for his friend to have long relationship with but not good enough for him to marry? Step back and ask yourself why you think you can intervene at this late date. And you expect your friend to pick you over someone he wants to spend the rest of his life with ?

@1strights Год назад

He also describes what makes him a best friend the way 12-year-olds might. We play games all the time, we text all the time. BFF. Forever. Perhaps he’s threatened by someone else having the best friend forever bond with his bestie. Perhaps he is afraid marriage is going to cause his friend to turn his attention more fully to being an adult and prioritizing time with his wife and with matters concerning his household.

@5thdimensionliving727 Год назад

I think he’s in love with his friend and is jealous of his partner - he needs to be 100% honest and come clean..

@salma_Nella22 Год назад

This is not true and a wild conclusion to jump to

@tacthom Год назад

@@salma_Nella22 I would agree...there no real evidence of this...and yet several folks in the comment section are picking up on this...scroll through and you'll see that more than a few folks have suggested that the caller may have feeling for his friend...many of them cite his ambiguous reasons for dislike for his friend's partner...typically folks can easily articulate why they dislike a person...folks call this show every day and provide tons of details...he doesn't...why is that?...maybe it's just as innocent as he's concerned that his friend's relationship and eventual marriage will limit the access and time that he has together with his friend...maybe it's a bit more complicated and he can't verbalize that he has confusing intimate feelings about his friend...What IS coming off is that unconsciously this caller sees this woman as a threat to his relationship with his friend ...so much that he can't stand to see them together and is willing to cut ties with his friend because he can't stand the sight of them.AGAIN...there's no evidence...just speculation on the part of folks listening and reading between the lines...making assumptions about what is NOT mentioned alongside what is said...

@kellharris2491 Год назад

@@salma_Nella22 He just sounds so anxious and emotional about it. It's clear it's his personal feelings that are the problem.

@whalesnamedshark Год назад

I normally wouldn’t jump to this conclusion, but because he didn’t specifically say why he just likes her. I think he’s just in love with this other guy.

@tcggggg Год назад

Wouldn’t say that, I stopped talking to my closest friend cuz he got with a girl that does not like me and likewise around. Not errrrrrthang has a sexual motive

@daphne3717 5 месяцев назад

I thought the same thing

@thermalreboot Год назад

You can't say bad things about your buddy's gal. If he's chosen her for marriage, as John says, he has to be all in, and if he's all in he has to eliminate anything from his environment that will interfere with that. He can say bad things about his wife/gf, you can't. Your job is to be his friend, listen when he's working through issues and support him.

@blacksquid270 Месяц назад

That's terrible advice. What if your friend's girl is cheating with several men and hiding a drug habit, should you still not say anything?

@thermalreboot Месяц назад

@@blacksquid270 There's a difference between maligning someone and giving them facts. You can tell your buddy you saw his wife at a hotel with another man, but you can't call her a whore.

@tjj5337 Год назад

This is man love and there is nothing stronger….. The girl is taking his boyfriend away….

@derekhornsby5063 11 месяцев назад

Hmmm… maybe. I’m kinda a victim of the reverse. The guy that had always been my best friend didn’t like me and my girlfriend together, but turns out the toxicity was on his side. Because it kept happening with all the friends he had

@camilazavala6033 Год назад

can you imagine if the friend didn't like caller's wife either 🤣

@whatintheheck4692 11 месяцев назад

The caller doesn’t know what goes on behind closed doors. I’m an introvert and it takes a long time for me to open up to people and be myself. When it’s me & my husband, we’re cracking jokes all the time, we’re cheeky & tease each other, we’re silly, we have the same core beliefs so we have deep discussions. Friends aren’t there for those moments. I’ve seen some of my husband’s friends change their views about me and admit that they were wrong.

@JustinCase780 Год назад

He's worried about "losing him"? Oh, my! It's not all about you dude.

@ericmoore9444 Год назад

He could find a new friend just in case.

@JustinCase780 Год назад

@@ericmoore9444 🤣 Yes and just in case he should bring a nice date to the wedding to get over his obsession just in case. 🤣

@peterlee584 Год назад

@@JustinCase780 He's married actually.

@JustinCase780 Год назад

@@peterlee584 Bring whoever 🤣

@peterlee584 Год назад

@@JustinCase780 WTF dude,??

@alqoshgirl Год назад

Adults can make perfectly good decisions on who they want to marry. No one should give their input unless they ask. It’s his life and when he gets married his priority will be his wife and children. Yes you might see each other less. But that’s how it goes. We see our siblings less, our parents less, our friends less. Because our priorities change

@chocovanille5809 Год назад

So I have a friend who married someone who is incompatible with him (he is shy, low key whereas the girl is extroverted x 10, gossipy and out there) but was very beautiful. The whole crew knew this couple would not go anywhere but we left at that. We supported him during the wedding and during the divorce.

@weekendnomad5038 Год назад

This is wild. This is the dynamic my husband and I have… but since marrying him I’ve been a homebody. I hope it works

@MijoShrek Год назад

@@weekendnomad5038 yo what? We shall pray for y'all 🤣

@astoldbynadia6310 Год назад

Can you imagine your friend trying to sabotage your wedding by going behind your back to drum up hate for your partner? If you don't like her keep it to yourself. If she's a criminal or something along those lines tell him to his face.

@tacthom Год назад

Well said.

@duffyreed8625 Год назад

Nope he needs to keep his mouth shut be his best man and stay friends forever

@JustinCase780 Год назад

He'll probably screw up the wedding somehow. 🤣

@CyeOutsider 3 месяца назад

His friends wife won't tolerate him being around. It won't take long for her to figure he doesn't like her.

@phil3924 Год назад

You’re going to lose this battle. Just support him and put up with it.

@justsavie8823 Год назад

Morbid curiosity...I want to know why Jackson doesn't like his best friends soon to be wife. I wonder if there is more to this story.

@lot2196 Год назад

Without those facts there isn't opinion we can make. What does she do that bothers him?

@justsavie8823 Год назад

@@lot2196 right. If she is of "danger" my opinion and suggestion would be different. I also question what kind of friendship do they actually have... I would hope my best friend would share her thoughts about my husband before it got to the point of no return.

@starrjohnson1327 Год назад

I found that strange as well. Usually the caller gives details or John will ask. This time they danced around the details.

@vaska1999 Месяц назад

He said at one point he fears "losing" his friend. It sounds like an emotional problem of his, not anything about the girl herself.

@irina383 Год назад

Most people don’t like their friends spouses just because they don’t like them, because their relationship with their friend changes, they can’t hang out as much as before and drink as much, they lost their win man, and other selfish reasons. This friend really needs to reflect why he doesn’t like her. What does she specifically do that is harmful and abusive or just non-supportive. If she is a good person and you just don’t like her-get over it, she is the most important person in your friends life, not you.

@kellharris2491 Год назад

The guy seems obsessed with his 'friend'. He sounded so anxious in the beggining and he is going around to all of he other friends. Like bro..

@lodz8666 6 месяцев назад

@@kellharris2491 He sounded like a real good friend.

@giselo06 Год назад

He was really planning on telling his friend this after the proposal when he sat for five years without saying anything. What a shocking ultimatum

@dhritikapoor2897 Год назад

Why is he so obsessed with who is friend is marrying ? Does his friend need his permission to marry ? Just imagine the audacity ! He is so offended that his best friend will marry someone he doesn’t “ approve “ of that he is willing to hurt the friendship . Dude , get over yourself . His personal life is none of your concern . Just smile and pose for the pic.

@jeromehenry4484 Год назад

And his cowardice is even more evident when he tries to pull in the other friends, like there needs to be an intervention. Seriously?

@arlenefisher1164 Год назад

We will never know!

@documentariesbycategory1483 Год назад

Exactly! This is a friendship without any intimacy, vulnerability, or real trust. It’s frustrating to see so many men engaging in relationships with “their closest friends” that evolve no further than liking the same video games. It feels like another way that old-school masculinity is harmful to men.

@jzwalz51robin45 8 месяцев назад

Well! I guess you know them really well to say all that...

@vaska1999 Месяц назад

@@jzwalz51robin45 You saw your portrait there and instantly turned passive aggressive. Yuck.

@jzwalz51robin45 Месяц назад

@@vaska1999 Projection; so typical!

@vaska1999 Месяц назад

@@jzwalz51robin45 Yes, that's exactly what you did.

@Piccolo_Re Год назад

My good friend’s girlfriend treated him like crap, and wouldn’t let him come hang out with me because she didn’t want to leave the house, and she wanted him to stay in all the time. When he tried leaving the house she scolded him and bossed him around. She even blocked me and my fiancé on social media for no reason. I told him time and time again to leave her. And just this year they got engaged. It’s his own dumb fault at this point. He’ll be in a toxic relationship forever now. It must be nice to be like John and have 4-5 friends to go to for in depth conversations. I don’t even have one friend for that. All my friends from back in the day started fighting over job status and who had better jobs and better degree and credentials and politics and never talked since. I didn’t want to be friends with fake people.

@ignaciomartinez8751 Год назад

This is a strange call. His friend has made his decision to marry this women. That needs to be respected. He is moving with his life even if this friend does not like her. Just hearing this guy seems he is in love with him and does not want to loose him.

@samanthawilson6159 Год назад

Don't tell your friend! You bury it deep down. I told my friend her bf is no good for her. He treats her like crap and she can do better! Because he did treat her like that! She didn't talk to me for a little while. I ended up telling her that I should have kept it to myself. Her friendship meant more to me than he ever did. Don't lose ur friend bro. Let him have his girl. Just show up for ur best friend and be there for him. If they divorce, show up. You take this to the grave. My advice. My friend and her husband are still together like 15 years or something. I decided not to be friends with her anymore because of my personal issues I needed to fix. Keep ur friend. Find a way to accept his life and his wife. Good luck

@jennyberger6688 Год назад

Either he realize he’s in love with his best friend and doesn’t know how to tell him. Or he’s going to his friends gonna feel betrayed because he should’ve told him 5 years ago

@jeromehenry4484 Год назад

I got that vibe from caller that he has a "gray area" infatuation for his best friend, this isn't really about BF's fiancée, that's just the cover story. Even in 21st century there are still men that crumble to family expectations and marry whoever is available as a smoke screen.

@jennyberger6688 Год назад

@@jeromehenry4484 exactly

@ComOneMaybe Год назад

This is exactly what I was thinking. It would explain why the caller is so disturbed to the point of ending his friendship with his friend. Unless the girl is abusive or into dangerous, illegal/immoral stuff, he shouldn't be this pressed

@ekewaka7497 Год назад

I thought he was married, he said his best friend was his best man

@GravityGrave Год назад

@@ekewaka7497 the marriage could be a front

@licoreen 9 месяцев назад

I used to be close to a guy who dated and married someone who wasn’t very good for him. It was very obvious to all his friends. It’s been many years since the wedding, and as a couple they are self-centered, judgmental, and codependent. They still adore each other. So at least there’s that.

@9liveslisa Год назад

My brother married a woman many years ago and unfortunately I just can't stand her. She just irritates the crap out of me. She is like nails on a chalkboard to me. I finally decided to step out of my brother's life because of her and him. They married each other, they can have each other. Sad, but it is the truth.

@edithandlez Год назад

that’s THEIR life. what a weird ass way of thinking bro. you’re a woman that’s his sister why are you making your BROTHER choose between a girl he’s romantically involved with and his SISTER? Are you in a competition she doesn’t know about? 🙄

@samanthayates8812 Год назад

@@edithandlez lmbo. Get her

@kellharris2491 Год назад

@@edithandlez how do you know it's not the other way around?

@KK-ce2hf Год назад

I thought I would find this comment section filled with support for Jackson. Dude if you’re reading these, stop. 💔

@salma_Nella22 Год назад

I don’t think Delony handled this well at all and I watch him a lot. There is an insane amount of judgment and wild conclusions about this guy with literally no details other than he doesn’t know how to tell him.

@maryellendoran8806 Год назад

I think it would be okay to sit down with him and ask open ended questions such as, "what makes you attracted to her" "Do you have any doubts about getting married.?" think it is okay to say something like "you seem like very different people, you have different interests, etc. " Then go silent and listen. There is a middle ground here between saying nothing and not seeing him anymore or losing your friendship. I wouldn't make it a group thing. Meet for coffee or a beer and just talk. For all you know, he may have his own doubts. Sometimes people just stay in relationships because they don't know how to get out of them.

@shimmeringchimps3842 Год назад

Your comment is one of the few sane, sensible ones on this entire thread.

@SwimSweetie100 Год назад

Do not tell your friend unless he asks you. You could end up losing a friend if he doesn’t feel anything like you do about her. If he tells you a story that seems like she’s mean or manipulative, maybe say that. But be careful because the messenger gets shot sometimes.

@Aaron-kj8dv Год назад

The messenger ALWAYS gets shot. You need to find the absolute most indirect way to confront him.

@ineedhoez Год назад

If you do not say anything, you aren't a friend. Speak your peace and move on.

@JustinCase780 Год назад

@@ineedhoez But he hasn't been a friend so it doesn't matter. At this point he's being a baby (all about him) not a friend.

@salma_Nella22 Год назад

@@JustinCase780 he’s been a friend. Just because Delony says he wasn’t being a friend doesn’t mean the relationship was fake. That was awful on Delonys part and uncalled for.

@JustinCase780 Год назад

@@salma_Nella22 The guy has an issue all of a sudden now? It's not about him when his buddy is getting married? not such a great friend...that's all I meant.

@nr7701 Год назад

I think the caller is so worried about losing his friend because he hardly has any friends/deep intimate friendships (not because he's gay for the friend like everyone is thinking). It's crazy to think that the caller said we don't really talk about deep stuff like this when this is the guy that was his OWN best man at his wedding. They should have been able to talk about the hard things multiple times now without the relationship crumbling. He needs to play video games less often and make more friends and take the deep dive into his current relationships. He will feel more secure to lose a friendship if he has other supports to lean on, and is able to make decisions more firmly (doing things instead of playing video games).

@Matt-cr4vv 11 месяцев назад

I don’t think they are anywhere near as close as he thinks they are. I think he sees them as best friends but I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s a one sided deal and that the other dude may not see him the same way. Because the idea that they’re best friends but don’t discuss deep things but play video games together and text each other doesn’t align with any other aspect of being best friends. It’s a known understanding according to him that each will be best man for each other and the like makes it seem that he thinks he’s going to be best man. The caller seems like he may not have tons of close friendships and that may mean you have somebody as a best man who you perceive you’re closer to than you actually are. This seems to me like they’re more casual friends by normal metrics but labeled as best friends by this dude because he doesn’t have a ton of friends.

@joyaustin6581 Год назад

Support him in marriage and support him in his future divorce.

@EmpressMermaid Год назад

I think it depends. Is she just not to his liking, has different values and tastes, or part of a demographic he doesn't like or is she actually doing harm and abuse to him?

@stevenporter863 Год назад

If there are real concrete reasons or a negative tendency he is too close to and doesn't see: then tell him gently. If just a gut feeling and a general dislike/preference: keep quiet .

@AndrielleHillis Год назад

And I'm working under the assumption that since he didn't mention any specific toxic behaviors that she is engaging in, he simply does not like her.

@Zumcho Год назад

I learned a long time ago to keep my mouth shut when it comes to friend's partners. Better just to stay quiet and let them figure it out on their own.

@irenem9067 Год назад

Totally agree - it will be the end of their friendship. - it's like second verse of the song When A Man Loves A Woman - "if she is bad, he can't see it; She can do no wrong; And turn his back on his best friend;. If he puts her down . - Telling his friend is the ultimate insult to him as a man. - I doubt there is a serious reason this guy doesn't like the girlfriend or he would have outlined the reasons to Dr. John, as it would justify his case.

@mskimrn9636 Год назад

💯

@skr8674 Год назад

Don’t say anything to him! Be in the wedding and just support him. If it works, it works. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t.

@auroramothergoddess Год назад

Does this dude really have nothing going on in his life to keep him occupied with his time that he’s calling in to ask for permission if he can tell his friend he doesn’t like his girlfriend ?!?! Cmon bro

@kellharris2491 Год назад

He needs to admit he is in love with his bf. Cause he is so obsessed.

@auroramothergoddess Год назад

@@kellharris2491 not going to lie he does sound kind of 💅🏻 but I didn’t want to say anything lol

@TuBui2 Год назад

Every Lie creates a debt to the Truth. The caller lied to himself and to his friend for 5 years trying to play "nice". If he had reservations he should've spoken to his friend sooner. But now the caller is at the 9yard line and trying to figure things out. Glad John highlighted the difference between associates and good friends. The caller may not actually have realized this, but his friend was just an associate.

@MikoMusik Год назад

Yeah, I agree the caller’s relationship with his friend is just an associate or acquaintance. A true friend will not hesitate to tell you if the person their friend is about to marry is not a good choice. And they don’t wait 5 years to do it either.

@thegenxgamerr Год назад

5 years later its a problem? A friend would have spoke up much earlier then this.

@mv7374 Год назад

I don’t like my bffs partner either. I’m not telling her unless she explicitly asks. They’ve been together for years w a kid and I’m fine w that 😂

@jkay07 Год назад

These calls may be free but I think Dr D earned his money in this one. These decisions look easy when you are disaffected.

@Dan16673 Год назад

I did this. Choose not be best man. Friendship ended. He was divorced in 2 years. Still bothers to the day, he didny listen

@Evil-Rod-Farva Год назад

Dude if she’s bad for your friend, you need to be real with him about it and be honest. You sound like a stand up guy who is concerned for your brother. You’re a treasure if that’s the case. Men get that honey butter and go stupid. Unfortunately for you, some men don’t realize how stupid they were until they’re in family court.

@peacefreedom4930 Год назад

Did it ever occur to him that his friend doesn’t like his wife but still supported him? He has been in this relationship 5 years. Why haven’t they voiced these concerns in year 1,2,3,or 4? His friend isn’t even the same person after spending 5 years with someone. If he was gonna try to save him from damage why wait 5 years. Is he surprised a marriage is coming after all this time? What exactly does refusing to be in the wedding do besides hurting his so called friend? If you haven’t stood up for your friend in all this time you weren’t too concerned. Now you want to throw a tantrum and ruin his wedding day. Are you really his friend?

@wf4983 Год назад

Jackson, I understand you. I understand how it feels to be soooo scared to loose somebody, that you avoid saying the things that have to be said. And that is what I miss here - the comprehension that some people suffer from fear of loss.

@ineedhoez Год назад

When you are scared, you bring about the thing you are most scared of. He is abandoning his friend because he is afraid his friend will abandon him for speaking the truth. Why not just be honest, state your concerns, and support your friend?

@paulatripodi3989 Год назад

So if his friend wasn't planning to marry her, was he ever going to say anything then? And he talks about his friend's relationship behind his back with other friends? Sounds too high school to me. If you have something to say then say it alreadyl

@1strights Год назад

He sounds extremely juvenile.

@thecramptons Год назад

Right…way too high school

@devod123 Год назад

I went through this once with a close friend. Luckily he ended up separating from the girl. You cannot dispense the quality of willingness and in most cases, people just need to have their own experience to ultimately see that a situation doesn't work for them. I told him what I thought but it made things difficult for a long time! The chick he's with today is way cooler. Sometimes it works out for the better.

@IgoOutlateAtnight Год назад

Sounds like his bf....

@amberriley7633 Год назад

The entitlement of the caller is immense

@ericmoore9444 Год назад

There’s no possibility that the woman is toxic huh 🤔

@zariaeda007 Год назад

@@ericmoore9444 Doesn't matter. You don't control who someone dates.

@jeromehenry4484 Год назад

@@ericmoore9444 Sounds more like caller has homosexual feelings towards this particular friend. Just because he is in a hetero-marriage doesn't mean caller couldn't possibly have feelings for best friend.

@timtresch4848 Год назад

@@ericmoore9444 Forget possibility, the reason John avoided the actual topic here is becomes the PROBABILITY is this guy explained the issues there would dozens and dozens of guys saying yep he's right my friend married a woman just like this total dirt bag, was cheating on him with six other dudes, the kids weren't his etc. So to avoid bringing the issues to light he tried to approach this as his friend is betraying him by again probable being correct that this woman is a charlatan and it would increase the pattern recognition to more men to avoid these types of women. John is a gynocentric wuss who knows if he held men and women equally accountable, he would become labeled a sexist misogynist, etc. Remember 50% of marriages end in divorce, 80% initiated by women, women collect 80% of alimony and commit domestic assault at higher rates then men, but yeah this guy probably is just gay for his friend, likely fucking story cuck.

@joyaustin6581 Год назад

Sometimes it’s easier to see a train wreck when youre not on the train.

@shachede6828 Год назад

Me reading the comments and wondering why y’all are negative. He said he doesn’t like this wife, and doesn’t wanna be involved. So what’s the problem?

@KK-ce2hf Год назад

These comments are bonkers. 🤦🏻‍♀️

@tjj5337 Год назад

The dude has a crush on his best friend 💔💔💔…….

@random-nz7dy Год назад

On the other end of this you should when appropriate consult friend and family opinion about your significant other especially if considering marriage or long-term. And that conversation should involve telling those trusted people that they have permission to speak hard truth even if it's something you might not want to hear. This is important because if you have this conversation and Friends and Family and the response you get is hard to hear, it may be a horrible conversation to have to have but it may be the conversation that saves you from agony down the road.

@jaqueitch Год назад

I'm glad this guy isn't my "friend".

@glitterstarbeau Год назад

I don't like anyone friends/family married. I figured it's normal and I need to get over it. I focus on the spouse's good points

@furryplantsandcoins9070 Год назад

Why doesn't he like her? And so what if you don't like her? You don't have to live with her!! You have "put up" with her for 5 years! If she's a "bad" person then why did you not say anything after a year? And you didn't say anything about why you don't like her?

@vjs4539 Год назад

He's most likely a liberal soy boy, and his friends girlfriend probably said that men can't get pregnant, so he hates her

@JustinCase780 Год назад

Because Dewey Finn likes to live with his buddy Ned Schneebly but she - Patty (Sarah Silverman) has ruined the rock & roll lifestyle.

@lav7161 Год назад

I had the exact situation happen to me just like the caller. My friend told us he was going to propose and I hated it. It was because he was sprung with a woman who would take advantage of his love and kindness. I sucked it up, called my other friends and we took him out to dinner to congratulate him and give him our best wishes. He eventually started seeing us less and less as time went by and we accepted it. Unfortunately fast forward to today and it hasn't been going good for him and even after over 7-8 years still hasn't gotten married. She put up a list of things that he has to do in order to get married. I say all this to get to my main point just like John said. You're not here to control your friends life. You have every right to walk away if you want no business in that. You can't play both sides though. Choose 1 or the other. You are either in or you're out.

@jwhite5396 Год назад

“You’re not here to control you friends life.” Well said and enough said.

@weekendnomad5038 Год назад

This lady sounds crazy

@lav7161 Год назад

@@weekendnomad5038 She's bossy and my boy never puts his foot down. He's scared of losing her. The problem is he never really had her to begin with.

@brenttrotter88 Год назад

Gay-dar is off the charts on this guy.

@jeromehenry4484 Год назад

Exactly! not liking the bride-to-be is just a smoke screen.

@chocovanille5809 Год назад

They probably used to give each other head during college but now one prefers women a lot more than the other

@joepatrick3092 Год назад

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@Her.Serene.Feline.Cuteness. 3 месяца назад

@@jeromehenry4484That's true.

@mandysimmons2769 9 месяцев назад

I had to watch my baby cousin marry a shlump she wasted 10 years of her life on. I had to watch a good friend waste 16 years with yet another waste of skin. I know one thing, both of them heard a few misgivings here and there. I know to this day, neither would've never listened to me. When someone's in love they don't want to hear it.

@jasminebaby3375 Год назад

Oh my goodness, if it’s NOT something illegal that she is involved in, then I don’t think it’s a that big deal. The caller is such a fake, selfish and a dangerous friend. So you NEVER like your best friend girl of 5 years and never said anything to him. Just smiling to her face and hoping they breaks up. Now that you realized that he is going to marry her now you don’t want to be involved. I hope your friend finds out and distance himself from you. You are NOT a true friend and you only worry and yourself!

@shimmeringchimps3842 Год назад

You are a fake, selfish and dangerous person for not knowing that this is an extremely common situation that people find themselves in. Not liking a friend's spouse and being unsure whether to say anything about it is a universal human problem.

@jasminebaby3375 Год назад

@@shimmeringchimps3842 Sure, if I don’t like someone I don’t pretend I like them and socialize with them for 5 years. Hoping the fall off the face of the earth. That is disgusting.

@ineedhoez Год назад

I had a friend who was marrying a level 5 Donald Trump level malignant narcissist. It was literally insane being around him. I wanted to tell her to run like the wind but I knew she wouldn't. I sat her down and told her that before she married him, she needed to go to therapy. She needed to look at herself. I hoped that if she understood why she was attracted to this narcissist, it would somehow empower her to leave. I let her know what I thought about the problems in their relationship and how these problems lead chaos. Now, my friends and I do have a rule about complaining. You can vent but if you're not going to change anything, you do not get to continue to talk about the problem. She knew not to bring stories of his shenanians to me, unless she was going to do something. I spoke my peace because I loved her and knew that I couldn't help her and support her if I wasn't around. She ended up secretly getting married. She didn't finish the premarital counseling. 6 months later, she moved from VA to TX and filed for divorce. She knew she made a mistake but she was stronger than I thought and didn't compound the mistake by having kids and staying in the drama. Our friendship is better than ever. I was terrified that I would lose her for being honest. Instead of living in fear, I lead with the truth. I also accepted that she was a whole ass grown human and could do whatever she wanted. I can't control another human and ditching her because she isn't doing what I want is about control.

@sallyhemings2295 Год назад

BRAVO 🙌🏽

@skincareceo Год назад

This is the only issue that men fight over that women do not.

@random-nz7dy Год назад

One of my best friends is dating somebody who I don't particularly "gel" with. She can come across a bit arrogant and often tries to dominate each conversation, acts like a know it all...just kind of a cocky personality. And not in a cute/funny way. 1. My own personal judgments should come far after my own self-evaluation anyways. 2. although I may have my reservations, I have to respect the fact that he's a grown adult who has chosen this partner. Therefore my place is to just be his friend. Until he asks me for my honest opinion, if ever. 3. The only exception to this would be if I thought there was something going on like abuse or significant mistreatment. There's not. He's simply chosen to be with somebody who rubs me the wrong way. And maybe I'm way off and shame on me if so. Maybe I'm not and I have reasonable reservations. All that matters is that he's an adult who's chosen a partner and has not asked for my input which means I don't have any place to be criticizing his choices and it certainly doesn't mean that I avoid the friendship just because I don't like his girlfriend. And if he asked me to be his best man I would still do it. And wish them well and only talk about him in the speech

@random-nz7dy Год назад

I mean there have been times when I have been with people that my friends didn't care for and sometimes I'd ask their opinion to give it to me and even then I usually still didn't listen. Usually with this sort of thing the person has to learn for themselves the hard way. Know your place and don't overstep boundaries . And don't speak into things you haven't been given permission to speak into. It will not be heard

@ominous450 Год назад

I'm not gonna leave a romantic relationship of 5 years because of a friend

@dadthefather1961 Год назад

Well your friends will leave you after your romantic 5 plus year partner breaks up with you so don’t come crawling back

@RK-me7nd Год назад

5 years is a bit too late but my boyfriends brother doesn’t like me. My boyfriend is an extreme people pleaser and his brother wrote me off before he met me. I don’t know what to do but it’s eating at me. This guy needs to see how it makes his friend’s girlfriend feel.

@birsancristina9278 Месяц назад

Unless that woman is abusive he needs to mind his own f*ing business. Who the hell is he talking, thinking and planning someone else's relationship/marriage /life?!? And who gives a crap about him liking that woman or not?!? Where was he for 5 f*ing years??? He is so worried he just shut up for 5 looong years and now he just gotta say something. Oh, please🙄Have several seats🙄

@OMalley1203 Год назад

Jackson should take the time he focuses on others’ relationships and invest it in his own.

@DownHomeDavis Год назад

This is just so weird to me…

@mister.Ed1 Год назад

I haven't liked some of my best friend choices in men. I had to learn it her relationship not mine. I will be respectful however far as it goes with the person she picked.

@Yme540 Год назад

A wise man said this to me your real friends will look you dead in the face and say what you did was absolutely wrong because they don’t want to see you get hurt Real friends will hold you accountable and tell you the truth and give you guidance on how and what you can do to better yourself and they will watch you grow and rejoice and be happy for you

@oncetwice5942 Год назад

Maybe he has a bad feeling about his friend’s gf, but can’t pin point what it is or maybe their friendship dynamic has changed and feels like he is losing his friend or both.

@mskimrn9636 Год назад

Honestly, unless it’s abusive - it’s none of your business. If he has chosen her then it’s his business. If a friend told me that they did not like my husband, guess what - i choose my spouse. You will likely lose your friend.

@jala22 7 месяцев назад

I hate to say this, but I often find myself feeling concerned for my brother's girlfriends. From what I've observed in his past and current relationships, there are moments that make me cringe. On the surface, he's charismatic and fun, but behind closed doors, he can be aloof, emotionally immature, and disrespectful. It makes me uncomfortable, and I can't help but think she deserves better. Being his sister, I want to be loyal, but I also find myself avoiding his moods. It's hard, and I empathize a lot with the girlfriends. Unfortunately, his behavior reminds me of our dad and how he treated our mom and us when we were kids. I don't want to see my brother go down the same path, but I'm unsure about bringing it up. I want him to be happy and in a fulfilling relationship, but I can't stand the idea of someone going through what my mom did. I'm torn between addressing him, minding my business, or recognizing that this might be more about me than him. Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated.

@Her.Serene.Feline.Cuteness. 3 месяца назад

I am going to fast forward a hypothetical outcome for you by getting you to walk in my shoes. Imagine the future children (your future nieces and nephews) of your brother's future marriage. I have a narcissistic uncle (I never call him that but for your benefit I will). He is around 15 years younger than my mother. She is the eldest sibling and is the youngest and there are two other daughters in between. In my opinions both my mother and her brother are narcissists. I have no relationship with any of my extended family except for one of my mother's younger sisters. I will spare you the details but it is purely due to my mother alienating me from them with her false narrative my entire life. I haven't seen any of my cousin's since I was 10 or 15 and they were around the same age I am almost 52. His children are the youngest and the one and only time I met them was when they were around 8 (and the twins were 4. One of the twins died two years ago). He and his wife divorced around 3 years after this one time I met those cousins. He treated me very badly at that meeting. My mother and I came to stay at their home and he bullied me. My mother never defended me. My father was furious about it. My feelings about it never mattered to her. I slowly understood over the years that she had been complaining about me long before and long after that meeting. He made my difficult relationship with my mother even more painful. My point is that he will probably have a failed marriage just like my uncle. There's nothing you to can do to stop it if he is a narcissist or has other issues. Any woman in love with him won't let your advice influence her. But think about your own relationship with any children you or he might have in the future if you're not already a mother. He will probably be a disrespectful uncle if he is disrespectful to his girlfriends and will be disrespectful to his future wife. Just worry about your own relationships or future marriage and your own children who deserve to have a relationship with their cousins.

@dddnegre Год назад

No, never

@mcarthurspark8636 Год назад

Is his fiance abusive to him? That would be the only reason to voice your opinion. If that's the case, I couldn't imagine texting him daily for years and never voicing my concern. Now is not the time, it's too late. You had your chance and sqandered it.

@taylorkroff8254 Год назад

This is a weird call. This guy honestly sounds like “the other woman” who’s causing a guy to cheat on his wife. It sounds almost like he’s in love with his friend lol

@1strights Год назад

Yes. Absolutely it does.

@tjj5337 Год назад

Does his friend like broadway musicals? Does his friend love holding him a lot? These are questions that I would be asking…lol😂

@alisonfraser8231 11 месяцев назад

People tend to marry people who share their values. This can be a shock to those who never really saw them in a certain light. This woman you find so repellant has more in common with your buddy than you do. It can be hard to accept but this is the way it is.

@christopherdunham2637 Год назад

Bottom line, he's marrying this girl, not you.

@MijoShrek Год назад

Men don't have any say in each other's relationships with their women when they love her and putting a ring on her. He not asking you your own feelings about whatever that is there for you, but as his boy, keep all that to yourself and be there for your homie because it's not about You. Other than that, this is where dudes part ways with each other as we go on into the next phases of our lives. This is where friendships are never the same again. You kinda sound like a woman dude,lol.

@HadassaMoon144 10 месяцев назад

My husband was asked by his college friend to be bestman, just like he'd been at our wedding. Well.... Dude is marrying a woman when he's been "secretly" gay the entire time we've known him. 15 years+! We even met his "roommate" of 3 years annually for vacations until he "moved out". I was pissed at my husband for not acknowledging his friends homosexuality while he was dating this guy and for not saying anything to him when he comes around with a woman; a nearly 40 year old, never been married, has no children woman he met at his new church. She's sweet as pie but I have such mixed feelings. My husband did too but he refuses to talk to the man about it. I didn't want my husband to be best man! I felt so bad for this woman but hey, maybe she knows that her husband used to sleep exclusively with men. Or maybe he was really bisexual this entire time but we only saw him with men? Anyway..... I prayed about it and stressed over it and let it go..... And then covid made sure that we weren't even able to attend the wedding!

@charleneterrell Год назад

Friends without benefits and without interfering with my business (personal and company). Single available to mingle.

@salma_Nella22 Год назад

I want to say, for Delony to downplay his friendship was a reach. I felt like he just wanted to get the call out of the way. The details MATTER. Everyone handles these things differently. Many would say this caller respects his friend so much that he doesn’t want to say anything bad about her. Many would also say “he wasn’t a true friend if he didn’t say anything this entire time”. They obviously have a great relationship. I truly believe that there are ways to get your point across without crossing the line and this guy’s only fault is not knowing how to express himself effectively. Before he even began explaining his issue he warned Delony that he’d be all over the place. John Delony just assumed that there was no way he’d be the best man instead of jogging his mind about it. The WHY is what is important to determine if he should support his friend or not. Is she manipulative and ruining his self esteem? Is she Abusive? If none of these apply then Jack should not listen to Delony and support his friend. The wife is for his friend, not him and every man has different needs. Jack just needs to talk to somebody that actually cares.

@salma_Nella22 Год назад

Also the fact that many of you down here are just assuming that he has a crush on his friend is too much.

@ineedhoez Год назад

He already said that he wouldn't stand up and be his best man. A therapist's job is not to argue with you about decisions you've made. If you are going to draw that line in the sand, then you need to stand on your convictions. end of story.

@salma_Nella22 Год назад

@@ineedhoez he said he can’t see himself doing it but that was never a definite no. He never said “how can I tell my friend that I can’t be his best man” and expressed some doubt about the situation

@salma_Nella22 Год назад

@@ineedhoez a therapists job is also not to assume that you and someone aren’t good friends and just say the whole thing is based on a lie. That’s wacky

@nr7701 Год назад

"John Delony just assumed that there was no way he’d be the best man instead of jogging his mind about it." I think John was trying to help him choose a decision and stand by it. That's part of the reason why he told him to come up with a concrete list of things that bother him about the girlfriend, so he could examine his reasons on his own, without John even helping him. That way, when it comes time to tell him, he's strong enough to say it all and possibly lose the friendship.

@rethinkcps2116 Год назад

Caller is jealous...

@weekendnomad5038 Год назад

I’m a woman I hate my best friends gf (lesbians) if they got married I’d be there and try to look happy. This is about them even if I don’t agree with the union and honestly I’ve ghosted her before over this woman but that’s their special day

@LtGrandpoobah Год назад

Don't tell him unless he asks. If he asks, tell him the truth. Make sure you're ready for that conversation and have legitimate evidentiary arguments for your case locked and loaded. I had a friend like that, he asked if I thought he should marry the girl. I told him the truth: I told him no. They've had a hard marriage, but they're still together 10 years in, and I have learned to selectively hold my tongue in order to get along with her to be able to be his friend. It's been a hard row to hoe, but it's part of life.

@ReusableEssentials 2 месяца назад

Sounds like the first guy is in love with his friend and not ok with him getting married as a result

@janelleg597 Год назад

OMG, DR. J had an EPISODE with JORDAN PETERSON AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! 🤯🤯🤯❤❤

@Matt-cr4vv 11 месяцев назад

If they’ve been together for five years you haven’t expressed your concerns with his future spouse to him then this is silly. If you’re his true best friend, which comes with being able to have these tough discussions, then if there were concerns this should’ve been addressed forever ago. And if he wants to be with her outside a few extreme scenarios then as the best friend you simply accept that there is no requirement for him to choose a spouse that you like. But if you two never discuss any of this stuff and never were able to discuss it in the last five years then you weren’t actually best friends. And the idea that you’d spring this issue on him when he asks you to be his best man confirms you really don’t deserve to be his best friend. This dude has convinced himself that they’re much stronger friends than they actually ever were and honestly he may not have even been asked to be the best man. It seems more that he made him his best man so naturally he was going to be the best man for his friend but he doesn’t express one thing that demonstrates that they’re friends with a deep friendship. They don’t actually discuss any of this stuff but they text each other and play video games. I think the caller says their best friends but I’m not so sure the other dude would if that’s what their friendship actually is and that this dude sees their friendship as much closer than it’s even been.

@lyndaslocs Год назад

Your friend will turn a deaf ear on any criticism you have about his fiancee. I'd just tell him, you won't be able to participaate for personal reasons. Sometimes you lose friends during the journey of life.

@wbae1340 Год назад

I will say, the psychiatrist guy is a D for charging those fees. Ridiculous.

@JustinCase780 Год назад

It's Dr. Poop and he helps a lot of people. He can be booked through Dr. Beaman and worth it.

@ineedhoez Год назад

Right? I'm not paying 6 months up front for anything

@1strights Год назад

Perhaps the person found that’s the most effective way to get people not to have unreasonable expectations of them. Perhaps they find it the best way to say no. “I tell people I don’t want to do it, I’m just not available. I tell people I am retired, they remain persistent until I send them the bill. So I send the bill that states clearly what it will take to begin to make it worth taking on the proposed case. They stop calling. Mission accomplished.”

@girlygirl1890 Год назад

*********SORRY JOHN, BUT YOU HANDLED THIS CALL VERY BAD AND GAVE THE WORST ADVICE. ******First of all, you told him to sit down with the friend and tell him, without YOU even knowing WHY he doesn't like his soon to be wife. As a counselor, you need to know the FULL REASON before advising anyone anything. Heck, she can't be THAT BAD if he hasn't said anything in 5 years!...yes, 5 years. But now, as soon as the wedding is coming, it's a "we have to sit him down and have a talk with him" kinda thing...Come on... This guy even said "We used to talk all day, we would text and play games, etc...." Listen to his voice when he said it. Sounds like he's just being selfish that more of the other guy's time will be taken away because he will now be married. Sounds more like a selfish and immaturity issue to me. And if this woman has not done anything really that bad, then there is absolutely NO REASON to sit down and have a talk. Just suck it up and support your friend if that's the case. John even went to say that the friendship is not what this guy thinks since he has not told his friend. Well, that's not necesarrily the case. The issue is the friend, NOT the friendSHIP. There is no issue on the end of the guy getting married. It's just an issue with the "friend" being fake for 5 years and waiting till this point to try to prevent the marriage. And no one even knows the reason he objects. Absolutely no one.....NOT EVEN JOHN who purposely didn't ask. (lol)🤣🤣🤣

@emilyprovance7413 11 месяцев назад

So does he not like her because she had another guy's baby 6 months ago?. Or does he not like her because she's annoying and not a good fit. Huge difference. Are you unwilling to support and abusive and toxic relationship, or is this guy really just not your friend and the slight irritation of this woman isn't worth it.

@laurao8099 3 месяца назад

Maybe I'm crazy but I thought that should have been the first thing that John should have asked this guy. Is this just a personality difference or is she actually harmful to him in some manner as far as emotional medical physical spiritual abuse or manipulation of some sort?