I Don’t Like the Man My Sister Is About to Marry 

Yea her sister and family seem to want to control her and are upset that they are not having that power over her.

RIGHT!

@@bills1967 yes! They did mention that she is the baby of the family also. I have to wonder if the fiancé isn’t a different race also, which could be playing a part, too.

OP is a stay at home mom and has nothing else to do but analyze, judge and gossip about her sister.

Exactly! The hiding when she talks to her family and him hounding her when she’s with the family and accusing her spending time with them as her choosing them over him. Very sad. I hope she figures out how to own her own life and set boundaries in all directions before she’s middle aged and divorcing with a few kids. 😞

She's gossipy and sounds very stupid.

You mean the baby voice?

Sounds like a spoiled gossiper brat. It's the typical golden child voice.

Pov when parents pamper their child it seems to result in a baby voice in adulthood.

Yes!! Her voice and tone is making my skin crawl. I too, pay attention to tone.

This is the best take.she needs to take some time for herself.

True

I sense that too...

Absolutely!!!

you cannot change until SISTER decided to Free from him.

Her sister is marrying rich.

I have a feeling this is what's going on! She didn't start saying her concerns about the fiance not wanting her around the family until Dr. John started to tell her she could be wrong.. and I had a similar experience as you, where my parents went around telling everyone that my fiance was controlling and didn't allow me to spend time with them. When in reality I was choosing not to. In the beginning its hard setting boundaries so I would make up a reason why I couldn't hang out but eventually I was clear with my boundaries and they still refused to accept that they were the problem and that I could make decisions on my own.

Are you me??? My wife's family is extremely controlling, manipulates through guilt (e.g., being able to see my wife's sister's newborn is predicated on one's standing -- which is fluid, with the sister), and are mentally abusive. I love my wife and support her unconditionally and regardless of whatever happens always have her back. But my in-laws tell everyone who will listen that I'm the controlling one. SMH.

Your husband has manipulated you so much to the point that you don’t even realize that you’re being controlled and emotionally abused. Any person who doesn’t accept your own family is someone who wants you to himself. He wants to play puppet master and make you think that your parents are wrong and he is right in his choices. I know that you will overreact to my comments, but one day you will realize that you are living a lie.

@@mgoblue0970 You probably are the controlling person who will never admit it to yourself because of your ego.

​@@fishercourtI think both things can happen. My family supported me financially and grew me up as an educated person, but they were extremely emotionally abusive and neglecting and they themselves will never be able to realise it because they did not mean bad, so admitting it would hurt THEM too much. I left home to study at 18 cause life there had always been an agony, but it took me at least another 10 year to BEGIN healing. All my relationship choices up until then were driven by trauma. Things are much better now, BUT I still live in another country, because it's safer for my mental health, even though I talk with my mum often and normally, but being too close for example would make it too easy for old mechanisms to resurface, or would require so much energies to keep boundaries. Like this, I can support her (she used me everyday as a therapist when I was a child) in her issues much better cause I am not demolished by her everyday. My partner for example is much closer to his family and was surprised by the fact that I am not. Everyone is different, and both stories can exists, controlling family or controlling partner, and it's up to each person to evaluate what's best for them. And mistakes will likely happen until you have healed your traumas

That's great. Yeah sometimes I wonder as I get older how many women just want to be moms and not have the pressure of a college degree or 10 year of med school. Stay at home moms are highly needed in todays society. Tired of people handing their kids off for everyone else to raise all day long.

There's nothing wrong with that, if that's what you really want to do. The red flag I'm getting here is that the fiancé is Catholic and the sister is not. If you listen to any of Harrison Butker's speech, you'll notice he mentions at one point about his wife, converting to the faith. She was much like the sister I think in that she was planning to have a career, but when they met and started talking about marriage, he told her that she would have to convert and be a "traditional wife" if they were going to get married. They actually initially broke up, because she didn't want to do that. It was only after she changed her mind and agreed to what he wanted that they ended up getting married.

​​​@@libbyneefe1075Exactly. It's one thing to make the choice to be a stay at home wife and mother for yourself. Because, It's truly what you want to do However, It's another thing ti be oressured into giving up your career by a controling and/or abusive husband/or fiance. It sounds like this fiance just wants her barefoot ,pregnant and in the kitchen so he can control her more effectively and keep her econmoically dependant on him.

does your hubby put 9pm curfews on you?

Cheers, fellow PhD dropout! My family members are still extremely worried about me a decade later because they only saw me as this hyper academic person, sometimes career paths just aren't right for people though. Better to start living the life you want than to suffer through just to keep up appearances for people. I wish we had the engaged sister's perspective here, maybe her dropping out had literally nothing to do with the boyfriend. Or maybe he had a positive influence, encouraging her to trust her gut and prioritize her own desires and mental health.

Exactly. He's a self-described Catholic who does not follow Catholic teaching, just like Biden and Pelosi and the Kennedys. They're cafeteria "Catholics" - they pick and choose the teachings that suit their lifestyle.

Unfortunately, every religion has fanatics. He would be a bad and controlling person, no matter what his religion is, I believe

@argiehercules1374 absolutely. But a fanatical catholic wouldn't be having "relations". Not doubting he's controlling but I think he's one of those who use religion for what it can do for him rather than because he wants to be a better person and get closer to God.

@@tessaoshea5697 my thoughts exactly

@@tessaoshea5697 Y'all acting like you personally know the man, when we're getting a description of him like, 4th hand from somebody who doesn't like him.

Heard that too especially regarding the travels

Probably but this dude sounds like a piece of work too.

​@@firefly9838rich upbringing yeahhh

She has a curfew. You don’t see that as an issue?

⁠​⁠@@firefly9838I mean we’re hearing this from the POV of someone who is clearly controlling. I would take what she says with a grain of salt.

@@redrhino732 This was my thought as well. Controlling people tend to dislike other alphas, whether they’re abusive or just take charge. She’s probably over all of them and wants a different vibe for her life.

Exactly! And they are so confused why she would choose someone so controlling! Because yall taught her that being controlling is showing love. They didn’t even realize it.

He4 24 sis is marrying rich... She's jealous and has lost control

I doubt that. Family can see better on the outside, than the person who’s inside the relationship. The man sounds narcissistic, controlling and bordering onto abusive.

Lmao. The caller is here responding to comments.

This makes my cruddy morning so much better. (I left my breakfast at home 😢)

I don't have nearly as many years under my belt as you do-- but when I was dating, I could tell my family and friends didn't like my now-husband, because he can be a little awkward and he is blue collar. We've now been happily married for a decade, and he's a great father, treats me wonderfully, and while we aren't wealthy, we are financially comfortable enough. They've all changed their minds.

​@@jenem9618🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

@@rosietylerI can relate with that pain 😬

Best thing I’ve ever read here! ❤

Yes. This caller was making it all about herself! She sounds selfish and controlling

@bobdog90 spot on. In the past I think doctors were happier and it could be a lucrative & fulfilling path. Not anymore and I’m glad you are confirming what I hear constantly

You’re right. I am married to an unhappy doctor. Thankfully she’s retired now.

Well said 🎯💯💕💕

My main concern is that she needs to ensure that she’ll be supported indefinitely and get half the assets if they divorce. I’m a family lawyer and my domestic violence training radar is going crazy. Male lawyers are notorious for being very controlling and arrogant.

I think you are right and I haven’t even listened to the whole call yet.

@@danielr951 super toxic family vibes. Her WHOOOOOLE LIFE she’s wanted to go to med school - since high school. Oh and after she finished college she changed her mind. So her WHOOOOOLE LIFE is actually 4-5 years. 🙄

If this caller is from a toxic family and wants to lure sister back in to the fam lily cult then you can’t actually rely on her to be giving a good characterization of this man in the relationship.

Beat me to it. Sounds like both families are very well off financially but lack common sense.

Yep, it’s a good indicator why she even picked a controlling fiancé.. we go to what we’re familiar with.

But your buddy has a path. This girl has a curfew.

Left and right 😮😮😮😮

That is what I got. I think she is used to being around controlling people with strong personalities, and now she chose a partner that is the same! That's what I got from the call at least.

@@kiara4345That's my best guess as well. Some people are so annoyed at the caller that they're overlooking the high likelihood that the poor girl went from one controlling situation to another.

That what it seems like. 😢

Yeah, the caller is really bad at identifying the actual red flags, probably because she’s so used to being the one in control. I wish she had been able to focus on and articulate the actual problems.

@@Katherine-ug5dlExactly! People usually pick partners like their parents and put up with stuff in relationships that their parents put them through!

@@shannalee80 I think that if the younger sister told her side we’d get a whole different story. Like her saying that their conversation ended with her sister crying and using that as proof that her fiancé is abusive. When it seems just as likely that she made her cry by saying hateful things about the man she wants to marry. The way she never actually talks about what her sister wants for her own life or how she may feel about them being so hateful to the man she loves, are all screaming of a malignant narcissistic family. “Me and my mom and my sister create these stories….” Her little sister may be trying to establish boundaries and get away from a toxic family and their punishment is to treat her as if she’s incapable of making a decision about her life and to slander her boyfriend and his family. Thats how narcissistic families punish family members for getting out of line.

No, it's a traditional relationship

​@@jimsmith8359these are just whiny cry assey complaints

🎯

@@AudreyWineland💯 agree 😊

A lot of people drop out of law school too. As a lawyer I can tell you that male lawyers are notorious for being arrogant and very controlling. This young woman needs to have a domestic contract protecting her. It needs to set out that she gets equal property division and spousal support for an indefinite period of time if they divorce.

My daughter did the whole path, and became a neuro surgeon. She is an excellent surgeon, and after having worked 2 years, she now wants to quit because it is so grueling and all about money (the hospital she works at makes decision based on revenue, not on patient care). It took her 5 years to get pregnant, and now she is, at 38 years old. She is always exhausted, tired, and aggravated. Totally not worth it!

@@marie-joseepaulzak1936 nsgy is absolutely grueling! Satisfaction is based a lot on if you're in private practice vs academia as well as the non-med dreams you have. I don't ever want kids so I'm sure my experience will be different than those who do. So what is worth it to one may not be worth it to others. I wish your daughter the best!

The dude wanted her barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen with no career or money of her own. Real winner. Chicken dinner.

Her sister is marrying rich! ".. And his parents are paying for the both of them.." 😮😮😮 , baby girl please get married 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

@@not-even-german4892totally agree. It’s not the sister marrying him. That sister is 24 years old and needs to make her own life decisions and her parents and sister have to stop interfering. I would probably distance myself from my parents if they tried to break up my relationship.

@@patrycjaanna2086 i couldn't agree anymore, yes

FACT 👏👏👏👏

Ummm not necessarily. It sounds like the new bf is the narc isolating the sister from her family.

​@@EyeWYT there was nothing in this call to suggest he is controlling or a narcissist. It sounds like the caller and her family are just upset the sister is choosing to make a new life separate from them and they want to control her. She's growing up and they don't like it.

@@EyeWYTnarc can’t have wifey “outshining” him

Why do I see things totally differently?

I had to go back and listen. The sister dropped out of med school so the dad stopped ALL financial help

@@brianaloves1242 yikes!!! The dad isn’t helping, he’s isolating her

If you get engaged and are on the road to get married. You should be able to stand on your own two feet, independently from your parents. Or do they expect their parents to keep a roof over their heads when they do?

Med school drop out, our father is retiring soon, medical doctor hopes are in jeopardy, she's marrying rich, his dad is a lawyer..., wedding in Italy, 500 guests.... SORRY the caller is jealous !!!!

@@not-even-german4892wedding in Napa. That’s in California

@@jjkatz😂😂

Crazy how you completely glossed over the fact her sister wants to spend time with her family but can’t because of fiance. And has a curfew. Yeah those are completely normal in equitable relationships.

Yep. This sounds like my mom. Can't handle making adult decisions....

@@7RB373great another uninformed person who didn’t get to the actual concerns at the end.

That's really not how the call went. Stop covering for the loser fiance

That's really not how the call went. Stop covering for the loser fiance

The flesh is weak. Hope he took his butt to confession. But you’re right, fornication or sex outside of marriage is a mortal sin that will take you to hell.

He is catholic when it benefits him. Waiting till marriage is never included for the men. They only want the women to be pure. LOL.

To spice up confession lol.

@@delightschwartz2155obviously 😂😂

Right? People be skipping over some parts

You got very lucky. My sister ended up marrying a covert narcissist 30 years ago. Her friends noticed something off about him and tried to warn her, but she ended up moving across the country to be with him. He's never worked and been a controlling alcoholic for 30+ years now.

You have a good head on your shoulders. Many women don't listen in situations like this, doubling down instead to their own peril.

My domestic violence training radar is going off with this. She has a curfew. She has given up her career. His family have money and there is a huge imbalance of power. She needs a good marriage contract giving her half the assets acquired during marriage and spousal support for an indefinite period of time. I’m really worried for this young woman. Male lawyers are notorious for being arrogant control freaks. There are exceptions and I hope that this man and his family are the stuff of fairy tales and that she’ll have the kind of life my friend has. I am worried for this young woman though. I don’t like that curfew business.

Praise the Lord someone listened to the people who care.

My closest friends met us on a European holiday and told me this guy is controlling. Thank God! I'm so grateful to them for speaking to me, they changed my life

😂 yeah right

Is your family all single women?

You were very lucky❤

The only abusive rltnshp that girl is in is with her family. This woman literally slandered that young man and his family. Listen carefully and you’ll hear it. Not once did she even consider her sisters feelings, or that she’s bashing someone she loves, or that her sister may not be as much of a moron as she wants us to think she is. Malignant narcissism to the max.

@@dannelle17 This. You are spot on.

We also should give grace and patience for those who are not well-spoken. Let's focus on what she is trying to say, rather than how she says it

@@josephmbimbi she needed to get to the point though bc it was clear that Delony wrote her off

@@dannelle17 Just like the majority of commenters here are; everybody is so skeptical of the caller when it's clear what they're really concerned about is this guy is abusive and controlling, not that "oo-woo we don't like her choices" like they're all making it out to be. "I'm not choosing my sisters over you"?? That's not something you have to say in a healthy relationship that you're happy to be a part of.

Good point!

Right like family sounds like they could be pushing their expectations onto her, and then wondering why she’s steering clear.

They have a 50-point list!!!! Their intentions are good but man are they controlling as well?!?

Your comment sums it up well

My very controlling mother pushed me into my exes arms when I married him at 18 yrs old. She claims she was discouraging me but when she accused him of beating me that pushed me more to his side. She created exactly what she did not want. What's dumb is he got my mom to betray me and help. Him more than once during our marriage. She even called him a couple times to talk about my mental health and pick me apart as a human being I was right next to him and he had his phone on speaker LOL my ex and my mom are equally big big jerks

Right?! The sister is so judgy.

I thought the exact same thing!

Guess we know why she’s not the doctor of the family

@@shaepettit8233 LOL

Besides her 24 sis is marrying rich... "a 500 peopke wedding" shes jealous

I doubt that. Family can see better on the outside, than the person who’s inside the relationship. The man sounds narcissistic, controlling and bordering onto abusive.

​@@theworldaccordingtoallie1176The family isn't any better. The sister that called in doesn't listen and just keeps talking!

@@theworldaccordingtoallie1176 that’s why people always say, “always better to get information second hand than directly from the source…” 😂 her sister is incredibly smart, capable of becoming a physician even, but can’t accurately assess her relationship. 🤔 even the smartest woman and most capable of woman are powerless against a guy with a couple bucks. 😂😂

All the little remarks the caller made her seemed envious and wants to sabotage it. I'm pretty skeptical of the caller's motives for being "concerned". I've seen women do this quite often when they're envious of another woman, even their own sisters.

Yes, the 10’phone calls and the incongruence of him having premarital sex with her and then expecting her to convert to a faith he isn’t fully committed to. Desire for a religious conversion should come from the individual, like a spiritual calling, not to satisfy another person who doesn’t even abide by the tenants of their faith themselves.

that's all hearsay.

@@jrrizz0563it’s only hearsay if it’s someone saying someone else’s words. It’s her own account and therefore not hearsay

@@Cafeallday222it might not be hearsay as far as we can tell from the information we have, but the first question I’d ask is “You mentioned that he called “like 10 times”. Was it exactly 10 times as you recall it, or could it have been more or less than 10 times?” And she’d probably say more or less, and then I’d ask “and did you hear these calls yourself? By that I mean was her ringer on and audible, or was the phone on vibrate or silent?” And I’m guessing it’s the latter, because nobody under age 30 has their ringer on nowadays, especially when they’re at a gathering with family/friends. “So if the phone was on vibrate/silent, how are you able to estimate that it was more or less 10 calls? Did you see the notifications yourself? Or did your sister tell you the number of missed calls after checking her phone?” 😂 because I’d bet a hundred bucks that her account of the number of calls is bogus.

@@neededtobesaid4275 you have no idea if anything she’s saying is true. Don’t be so naive. She’s obviously lying and exaggerating A LOT.

Yes!!! Sounds like being with this guy might have given her the breathing room to figure out that PA makes a lot of sense if you want to spend your life as a wife & mother with high earnings vs. MD that requires soul crushing debt, stress & inhumane work schedules.

⁠@@AudreyWinelandexactly! I mean you can make a good amount of money working limited/normal hours, hell many of the docs I work with said if they did it again they’d do PA. And you make that money straight out of school, plus can change your speciality anytime. This alone is reaching to say that he is controlling her.

That's the story of my life. But my husband actually helped me to be more assertive and it was years before I realized how controlling my family had been.

She is choosing him, that’s all you need to know unless you suspect actual abuse. She’s living her life

Nope. Dr. John is right. Sister and parents smell the narcissistic rat. The phone calls in the other room confirms it.

@@alyssamurphy2002 he basically said the same thing as me. Shes an adult but she has to be making her own decisions.. still love her though so she knows she has a place to stay.

Sounds like a classic narcissistic move...get away from him as soon as possible!

@@alyssamurphy2002 Dr.John realizes this sister is overbearing but doesn't want to be confrontational.

@@meesh1002 You're right, that is what he said, but if it can be avoided... the fall out is so much more costly and it's hard to understand what that looks like, to more than just the young lady when you are naive and come from a great family. Assuming there is no escalation to the abuse. Your family picking up the pieces to support a single mom and being terrified when that guy attacks her or your old dad. Having no proof because he's wicked smart, never ending divorce and custody battles. Nights laying awake wondering if he's coming for you... But yeah, letting the abused person know that you'll be there for them is about the only way they might come out. It's torturous to watch and be part of. SO much better if you can talk them out of it.

Many protestants absolutely hate Catholicism. She’s not going after him because of any other reason. The sister is adopting values commonly seen in Catholic families And that drives non-Catholics nuts.

I’m so glad you said that because I’m 6 minutes in and wondering why I’m so stressed out and you just helped me realize why.. I’m turning it off! Thanks

If you have not been in thIs situation you would not understand.

@@KatieAnne100 It does, but when your gut alarm goes off you squawk like a crazy chicken. I wish I had been a little classier with my family, but the LIST WENT ON AND ON. It's subtle and then the ABUSED person gaslights you that it's not as terrible as you make it out to be. Guess what? It's actually worse. I remember a two hour argument about how to slice peppers, so many family gatherings ruined by those conversations that she "had to take in the other room" repeating apologies.

@@oceanbluewaves4918 don’t insult her intelligence by insinuating she can’t pick up on control and manipulation. The caller is clearly biased and a bigot and her word can’t be trusted because of her disdain for Catholicism.

Just say you hate women and didn’t listen to entire episode. Did you not hear about the curfew and the fiance preventing her from seeing her family? But the caller is the worst person in this equation for being concerned 🙄

Hmm, if the sister is hiding in the bathroom to talk to her , I’m thinking the guy is just getting started in his controlling behaviors. The caller and her issues aside, it definitely sounds like the sister is allowing herself to be influenced, shrunk, and dominated in a very concerning way.

@@aimeerebecca1She wasn’t hiding in the bathroom because he was controlling. He said keep it down I have a headache. They live in his friends house in DC.

@@aimeerebecca1 probably bc she’s told him how controlling they are and how much they hated him from day one because they blame him for their sister daring to try to live her life outside their control and toxicity.

​@@mjo3275then he should get out the bathroom. He's clearly trying to interject himself and disrupt the conversation. Same way as if your working from home in a office and your partner keeps coming in to talk to you. He's listening in to monitor what she's saying and make sure it's not about him.

Yeah but do they have to be home by 9 when in another city?

@@rochellefuentes6069 but they start hating her boyfriend bc they blame him for this poor young woman trying to live her life and then say he’s abusive bc he doesn’t like coming around her family. Gaslight much? Someone should check on this woman’s husband.

@@JudePi-jx7yo i believe 30 percent of everything this woman said. She’s clearly mad she’s losing control of her little sister and she wants it back.

@@sellmav YOu are either this type of abusive person or you know nothing about abusive people. I grew up in it and that's exactly what was done to the wife.

@@sellmavexactly! I kept waiting for this lady to give an example of something truly abusive and it never came. She seems like the kind of person to cause a scene at her sister’s wedding and ruin her day.

She would not let him speak!!!!

Bingo! Thank you for saying that.

Yeah, a lot of people say that about family members when they try to get them away from their abusers. Abusers tend to be really charming and really manipulative to the people around them. In fact, a lot of time family members who have loved ones in an abusive relationship and try to get them out. They get called gossipy. Mind your business. You're so controlling. All kinds of things. Everything I see in this comment section. Someone who works with people in abusive situations, human trafficking absolutely everything she's just described about her sister is something that happens at the beginning of abusive relationship. The changing religions the huge life changes without telling family. Controlling money. Controlling how much time you spend with the family controlling your thought process. Controlling where you live. Isolating you from friends and family. Moving away from friends and family. Making sure when you talk to friends and family you're in the background. All of it. Yeah, a lot of abusers have flying monkeys. So you know. Think of that before you write such a comment.

What a stupid comment 😂 I now hope you’re just young and naive

I agree. There isn't enough info to tell one way or the other, though I will say I'm leaning toward both the sister and the fiancé being a problem. I have a friend who went through the same thing you describe. She was the youngest in a large family, and her siblings were overly critical of her now-husband, in a way that was completely baseless and uncalled for. They were still giving them issues after the wedding. It's been several years, and they're doing fine.

Amen!!

i didn't even hear anything negative about the guy just stuff her family personally doesn't agree with. he sounded like an awesome person from what i heard

@@joetheboy04 sounds like they’re an extremely controlling toxic family.

Well, your man probably deserves it.

Isn’t that what family and friends are for? To check you and help you look at things from different perspectives, if needed, especially when it comes to big decisions, such as who you’re about to marry?

Yep! That man is exhibiting narc characteristics, like isolating her from family, getting her reliant on him, and proposing quickly! He also said that he doesn't come around, cause he's not used to the family. Isn't coming around, the way you get used to the family? The family may be controlling, but he is toxic! I am in the same situation with my bestie. She has been dating a narc for a few years, on and off. He proposed after 3 months, while cheating with multiple women online, and he posted a naked pic of her on fakebook! Plus he alienated me, and has 12 arrests, including 2 domestic violence ones, and doesn't take care of his 2 kids. I'm terrified my friend will marry him, and screw up her 3 kid's lives!😢 I found out she is planning a wedding, and hasn't invited her sisters or me, cause we all can't stand him. So sad.

😂 thank you, I needed this comment

Lmao

😂

Oh dear... not organised ligion 😂....ALL organised ligion is about control.

When I hear people Catholic-bash, especially in the South, I sense some deep rooted Protestant indoctrination. We're really not that different.

Not super catholic. It's catholic without the super powers 😅

I always get a kick out of the "They're Catholic, but I'm a Christian" line of thinking.

You think it's ok for a man to control his wife?

@@maryannenizio5074 that poor girl. She’ll be unhappy no matter what path she chooses. There is nothing more important in life than putting space between yourself and a toxic family. Seems like that’s what she’s trying to do.

@@sellmav BS who says her family is toxic all we see is that her new bf tells her not to talk to her family and to throw away her life for him and depend on him and his family so he can say I paid for it do what I say of course the family is freaked out .

​@bodaciousmos you also can't say that her family isn't toxic. Only the little sister knows

@@bodaciousmos I don’t see that at all. All I see is a toxic controlling sister creating stories about a boyfriend she admits they hated from the very beginning.

She might well be too involved but she obviously loves and cares about her sister and is worried about her. Her intentions are obviously good - johns advice was on the money. Let her know u r there for her period.

You don’t have any domestic violence training for you?

i’m afraid i’m in one rn but i can’t let go

Does not just derail, it ruins you.

@@driftingdandelionyou can! And you will ❤.

Facts, completely sucked dry and am depressed. Way worse off then when I met him.

Facts

That's a possibility.

Maybe. Or maybe he really is a big problem. I did here some bs but also heard some red flags

They both sound horrible honestly

@@CG-MP all according to her. Who knows what ACTUALLY happened.

​@@gryffinbernerdid u hear the sister

Way to go!

Why? Why don't they like you? That's kinda suspicious if all them hate you...

@@Celwood It's suspicious you're siding with the family wanting a DIVORCE before the man who has been married for 25 years.

I wonder if they’re anything like my family. They seem livid that I’m finally happy. They were great at leaving me alone while I was in an abusive relationship

@@Celwood😢

Exactly. The older sister is right to be concerned. The description of the fiancé set off alarm bells for me.

And me

Counterpoint: often someone's family shouldn't count as multiple people. They were all raised with the same mindset around values, family, work, and career. Breaking away from your family's vision for you can be like leaving a cult.

@@myriamdiallo4434exactly. All of a person’s friends vs a person’s family of origin are two different things.

@@myriamdiallo4434 I was going to say something similar.

The family could also be considered controlling and abusive

@@yota8325 Agreed. And why should we believe the caller when she says he called 10 times? Dr John called her out multiple times for making up stories about the situation. Why should we believe anything she says after he called her out on this?

@@SaltwaterTravels-pv8ee you’re easy to gaslight

He also may be trying to protect her from her controlling family. If he actually called 10 times, that's a lot. But it's not a lot of her family is a toxic controlling mess and he knows she bends for their every whim. For all we know, she may have told him she wouldn't stay that late so he was calling to check on her. We don't know enough to call it a red flag based on her sisters story imo.

You made a great comment and you’re the exact kind of woman. I’m thinking about when I say that sometimes our dreams change when we meet the right person. If you meet someone who is moral and stable, all of a sudden, the idea of having a family becomes more real. Call her wants her sister to be a boss girl and sister might be seeing for the first time a real chance to be a mom. You can work for your man or you can work for a man.

Exactly, assuming the same choice is set in stone right for everyone is not correct. To that point I find it interesting you viewed sahm as "low class" when I've perceived it as "upper class" (economically)

@@NealBurkard-ut1oo Perhaps I made a poor word choice. My upper middle class and wealthy cohorts became doctors, lawyers, school principals, etc. I "gave up" a lucrative career opportunity to live frugally. I am doing something that takes no advanced skills and provides no financial remuneration. I realize it is a benefit to my children and a personal joy, but it isn't the path my previous peers took. Please don't take this as a complaint as I fully appreciate the hard work and talent my husband demonstrates to provide for me to live this dream. I am thoroughly blessed and constantly amazed by the brilliance and talents of other women around me who prioritize raising their children. We don't have flashy cars, European vacations, and stunning homes, but we have wonderful relationships with our children and are frequently complimented on the attitudes and intelligence of our children.

@@NealBurkard-ut1oobeing able to afford childcare for newborns while both parents work is definitely the “high class” situation. Having one person be a stay at home parent decreases household expenses dramatically during the early years of having kids.

@@eurekahope5310 as someone who did the same thing and now has grown children and a career I love that I wouldn’t consider “high powered” but extremely gratifying and financially stable, seeing the beautiful, well rounded, well adjusted adults my girls have become I can tell you nothing compares to the joy and gratification of being their mother. In hindsight, a career feels hollow and dull in comparison to the gratification and joy of being their mother.

Rat-a-tat-tat, yakety yak!

@@joshatkinson1945 like “she wanted to go to med school her WHOOOOOOLE LIFE. Since high school. Then she changed her mind after college.” 😒

She said enough. He's controlling and manipulative. He isolates her from family, etc. Unfortunately, baby sis chose him and 10yrs down the line, her family can say, " I told you so." He has all the signs of a Narcissist but it's her choice

@@GodessIsabelRaina yes, she said enough. Her sister seems to be in a difficult situation - and needs support before she gets in too deep. Her fiancé is trying to isolate her from her family...he's the one making her choose between him and her family. agree, ultimately, she needs to make the decision.

Yeah, that's exactly how it sounds lol

Well can you see that you’re setting yourself up to be the bad guy? Don’t let her do that to you.

🎯

Yep the child who tries to break free from a dysfunctional toxic family. Hopefully as she gets older she’ll become more confident in standing up to them and putting them in their place. It sounds like they’re too used to bullying her into submission.

Went thru something similar and it’s HARD trust me !!!!! It’s like you want to protect your wife from them but you can’t over step and say what you want to and tell the truth because that’s still her family. The family will team up and believe their own lies and try to sabotage the relationship. The wife never knows how to just say what she really wants to say because she doesn’t want to upset them but will demonize you because unlike her, her family isn’t your family and you don’t allow them to push you around and control you. It’s crazy …. My sister went thru that with her husband and im going thru that now with my fiancé

pretty sure he had a video about this but i think it was the mom or dad that called in and their daughter was marrying a sx offfender

An eighteen-year-old who had sex with his 17-year-old girlfriend can be a “sex-offender” if taken to court. I’d need to have a further explanation before I condemn the guy.

I think that's a different situation this guy doesn't sound like a sex offender even tho the big sister is tryna talk rubbish about him

Oh man… sorry

@@JPer811 yea in this case her sister’s “abuse” is her changing her mind about going to med school bc she doesn’t want to spend another decade in school and moving to a beautiful country while being supported by his family while he is in law school. Same thing as marrying a sex offender. The HORROR! 🙄

That’s exactly what I was thinking, she’s comparing her sisters husband to her husband, and I think quite frankly, she’s jealous

@@michaelschneider9305 the other problem is the younger sister has prob spent her entire life defending n defusing ppl/situations n trying to be the peace keeper instead of telling ppl to fook off n go fly a kite

13:55 start listening here.

Stop making excuses for the man

It doesn't sound like that at all, her response to it might not be the best, but it sounds like her observation of the situation may be correcr

This! The sister needs to get away from both her controlling family of origin and her controlling new fiancé. Poor thing!

​@@Olivetree80we will never know the truth unless the little sister calls in

@@meowy4720 i literally never mentioned the man. What are you talking about?

Smart move. First, there are basically no real upsides to premarital sex. Second, being on the same page spiritually is such a strength!

And let's not forget, the Church requires 6 months of marriage preparation. So it's not like the little sister just impulsively said 'we decided to get married next month.'

@@katiefrankie6my friend broke up with her boyfriend over sex. It was great guy, now he is good husband to someone else, good father. He just can’t comprehend that women need something different in sex than men. My friend is very happy she ended up with husband that ALSO makes sex nice. There is your upside.

😂

Well that IS intimate lol

Right... caller is s**ting on the future inlaw for being Catholic but is embarrassed to say "sex" herself.

@@jennysjourney117 keep in mind every aspect of the “situation” is all according to her. The way she quotes him verbatim as if she heard him say it when they clearly don’t have a rltnshp where that would happen, and the fact that they obviously hated him from the beginning bc they blamed him for her sister’s decisions they didn’t approve of, but then she complains he doesn’t want to be around them. It’s obvious this woman is accustomed to ppl subjugating themselves to her whims and judgement and it’s infuriating her it’s not working on her little sister anymore.

@@sellmavexactly- I’m not even sure she’s met the man 😂 she made it seem at the beginning of the call that the sister had only been dating him a few months and then towards the end of the call mentioned she discussed it with her sister a few years ago… which is it then?

@@shaepettit8233 right? My favorite part is how she quotes him as if she heard him say things that she clearly didn’t.

I come from an abusive household. This is exactly what my uncle did to my aunt. Today she is a broken and mean woman.

I think she is on to something. Controlling guy

She cray cray. He controlling. It is what is.

She's also here in the comments responding. 😅

@@lauren4078 she’s a loser. That’s why she’s responding.

​@@lauren4078really?

I don't think that's the point. She's not ridiculing the fact thst the boyfriend's Catholic. I think she feels that the fiance is using his religion as a tool to manipulate and control her.. There's a big difference.

Because you guys take over the lives of people by marrying them

​@@peterlee584 Exactly. Telling her she has to do rituals to purify herself after he willingly had sex with her, like what???

@@PrettyInnovatory A Catholic here: I get the impression this woman is making up a lot in her mind in order to justify her position. No Catholic has ever heard of any "rituals to purify." By the way I may be prejudiced because I cannot stand the way this woman talks and talks, finds terrible things in perfectly normal desires for child birth and a less stressful life. I don't think she is able to talk to her sister in a calm and adult and loving manner.

@@theresamc4578 she is not making it up. That man is lying to her to destroy her self esteem and self worth.

It is a GOOD thing if a woman stops being extremely progressive in politics when she has kids or gets married and sees how a lot of the stuff those people say hits different when you are a young man or boy. (If you are a parent and not trying to be your kids' cool old friend)

It is a BAD thing if someone who barely practices a religion by their actions forces a partner or spouse to change their religion. But it is a very GOOD thing if your partner converses with you about religion and politics and helps develop your perspective on the world around you. And old friends or family might get mad thinking you changed. Usually, people keep a lot of these thoughts private - and people are misguided when they think they know everything about someone else.

No it’s not. It might be they found a person who helps them see things in a new light that better reflects their deepest self.

But maybe it didn’t actually go down like that. Maybe the sister wants to convert.