I'm back haha. I am probably autistic, for context. I have also struggled a lot with that sense of justice and loyalty..watching someone treat someone I love terribly but me still being cool with that person.... I can't relate to that at all. Also, different opinions are great, but if we differ on respecting everyone's human rights...then no we aren't going to be friends Why would we be friends haha I think of it as, maybe we all have various ideas on how to make this world safer and more just for everyone. But if working for safety and justice isn't even a priority then...yeah that's not going to work
I relate to everything you’re saying. My therapist was trying to figure out why I say I don’t have ‘real’ friends, I guess because she thinks I’m a decent person who’d deserve friends.. if I was gonna explain properly I’d touch on all the point I have, but I just said - I think I’m perceived as high needs, and various other autistic things I don’t know I’ve done, or expected / wanted from them - or politics and values… I find it just so hard. Appreciate you sharing your experiences thank you.
Hey please don’t take this the wrong way but if we didn’t cut off people for having opinions we don’t agree with it wouldn’t be a terrible thing. Understanding why they feel that way is important. It doesn’t mean they have a lack of morals, their opinion often doesn’t come from a place of bigotry at all. But it is very frustrating to see people write others off simply because they assume WHY they have the beliefs they do. I mean this as non offensively as possible, I’m a bisexual neurodivergent person with BPD myself, but I firmly believe that diversity of opinion is very important and that life isn’t so black and white. Much love!
Totally get that and fully respect your opinion. It’s very hard for me to not think in black and white some times and I’m working on not letting things get to me so much. When it comes to minorities I am just very defensive and protective, especially when it’s people not within the community! I really really do appreciate people with other opinions and thoughts but only when I deem them better and more educated than my thoughts and opinions, when I deem them as bad and hateful I cut it off because I can’t handle the big emotional reaction it brings out in me from past trauma x
Hope you feel better soon, I think you were right to cut off people who’s morals don’t match yours and people who don’t put effort into the friendship Let’s be honest I feel like neurodiverse people are more empathetic and caring anyway it’s prob the only positive to feeling pain all the time is you don’t want inflict it on others… that’s my experience
This all makes sense and I'm struggling with all these same things. Struggling bad. Something I've concluded as I've reflected over the past year on my struggling relationships is, I think the most important thing in friendship is, like, I need you to give a fuck about me. Lol it sounds so basic but that's really it- everyone has different needs, and everyone has different ways of expressing support and affection. There are so many ways to be a good friend. But if I'm like, busting my ass for you in every single way, and you can't, for example, you can't say the words "Hey Happy Birthday"...you don't even have to remember when it is like I just happened to mention oh hey tomorrow is my birthday... If you are like all in with someone and they are not showing you they value you in ANY way? That's fucked up and I need to bounce. I have lots more thoughts lol I will probably come back and comment some more...thank you for sharing your thoughts Glo
Kinda brings me back to an old lesson I had to learn the hard way: when you do good things for people, you do them because they are good - not for rewards. Expectation of any form is a sure path towards suffering - far better if you have none at all. Love your work ❤ xoxoxoxoxo
