I escaped a cult - I spent a day with an EX-CULT MEMBER 

I’m proud to call Calvin my son. I appreciate how well rounded he presented his life, talking about the good times and very difficult times. I’m grateful that he could see a better way to live his life and follow his heart with what he knows to be true.

"a mind full of conclusion has no room for expansion" damn that's wise

The fact that Anthony didn’t force him to continue talking about a certain subject just show how much respect he has for his guests

I really appreciate that Anthony assured him he didnt need to talk about anything too difficult. many interviewers chase the story regardless of peoples feelings and seeing Anthony display that this was a safe place was heartwarming.

"Righteousness can replace love" I was never in a cult, but very "religious" house hold. And that statement is very powerful

Anthony is so respectful and patient. When Calvin was overwhelmed and crying, Anthony just waited and asked if he wanted to talk about it. He is an amazing interviewer. Edit: the likes omg-

It's really scary to think that someone can just easily get dragged into a cult like Calvin explained. You can't help but sympathize for him.

Advice to cults: don’t send your members to philosophy classes.

minus the polygamy, this reminds me so much of growing up as a jehovah’s witness. we’re taught that everyone else is lost and doing wrong things, and we have “free will” to make good and bad choices. college, long term careers, etc are discouraged. and you’re shunned if you make “bad” choices. it’s so hard to know who you are when you finally leave.

This one really upset me. He was so honest and raw. Sending him virtual love.

This really stuck with me, his stament “It’s not always bad” that’s exactly what a toxic relationship is like, especially with a parent. It feels so good to hear someone else say that and to know i’m not alone and i’m not crazy.

If anyone is interested in diving in deeper to what it’s been like for Calvin’s sibling growing up in this family, Calvin’s older brother Clayne Edward Wayman just published his memoir recently, “Echoes of Resounding Love.”

I grew up in a christian cult and one thing that people always mistake about me is that I'm angry and have hate in my heart against the church...while yes I've been hurt by the church and parts of it do make me angry I have empathy for them. The Allegory of the cave is a perfect example of what it was like for me leaving the church. The one thing the story was missing is all the guilt you feel.

Him explaining Plato’s allegory of the Cave was... brilliant. You see visually see his “aha” moment materialize all over again. Incredible.

A philosophy course saved this man's life. He's happier now and thriving. If that teacher didn't get the wheels turning in his mind and make him question things, how miserable would he be today? It just shows how integral knowledge is to us all.

the fact he is crying and says it’s fine this needs to be talked about what a guy

The “I hope I did enough” on her death bed really hit home for me I always still wonder if I’ll ever meet expectations of my family and for God.

Cults always scare me, idk it just makes me incredibly uneasy

Anthony is such a great host! His guests always seem to be comfortable and open up like they trust him, that's so great and underrated

“A mind full of conclusions has no room for expansion.” That cuts DEEP, dude.

Calvin's point that cults exist on a spectrum is a very important one. A lot of people (my past self included) think they can't possibly be in a cult because it's not like Heaven's Gate or Jonestown, or even worry that using the word "cult" for their experience is insulting to victims of "real" cults, but recognising that it's a spectrum is essential to the process of escape and healing.

I loved his explanation of Plato's cave-he's a great communicator.

I prefer the deep dive into one guest. I'm always a little sad how surface level the multi interviews are, we don't get deep enough to really hear about the individuals. It's like a broad intro for people who know nothing about that experience.

I have a direct quote from Plato's Allegory of the Cave tattooed on the inside of my arm, because of how profoundly it influenced me the first time I ever read it. It says, "How could they see anything but the shadows if they were never allowed to move their heads?" I got it to remind me to always be open-minded, since it's always possible that what I think is true is a mere shadow of reality, and I might simply not know enough to even realize it.

"A mind full of conclusion has no room for expansion" is a really good quote. Thank you for sharing, Calvin

This is a demonstration of genuine intelligence. The ability to think outside the box of one’s own upbringing is difficult and impressive.

He was so easy-going and could make a conversation flow very well. Calvin was a great guest, and I wish him all the best!

“Righteousness can replace love” so succinct and so precise. Cuts to the core.

This guy is so intelligent and eloquent, I could listen to him for hours. The way he told the Plato's cave story was so immersive. I wish him all the best

when he started to cry I really felt for him ): I love how vulnerable he was willing to get in order to say the truth and reality of his situation

he has so much positive vibes that seeing him cry actually hurts

I grew up with a dad like that.... He gave my siblings and I alot of attention...he was usually wonderful and loving and then out of the blue he would fly into a rage. Even though I had many good memories with my family, they were always tainted with a fear of that potential violent flip. It really messes with you

I feel like a cult can also be as easy as being raised by a narcissistic parent. They raise you to see them as superior/untouchable, you never knowing when they’ll blow up, boundaries are always breached (because they aid the narc parent’s belief), they make you feel insecure/guilty about leaving, and you never know it’s manipulation until you or someone else pulls you out of it. And when you do try to escape, they don’t leave you alone. Even that is a SMALL example of a cult.

It’s crazy how Anthony has sympathy for everyone he interviews. It must make them feel so understood.

That voice recording was almost like a movie, you could feel the mulling and contemplation and the eventual release from the shackles, I felt so much relief for him

"A mind full of conclusions, can never expand" Im not kidding, that's something I'm going to keep with me forever. It's profound and can apply to so many facets of life, it's incredible. Thank you for this video

"Saying "how could anybody ever join a cult" is like saying "how could anyone ever get in a toxic relationship" You'd be surprised of how many people I've heard say stuff like that smh 🤦🏻‍♀️

"A mind full of conclusion has no room for expansion." Dang. It went by so quickly, I think this line deserves more notice. Well said.

“Things don’t usually start out as a cult.” And THAT is how it can happen to anybody. Stay safe everyone! Even if something is familiar to you and all you know, that doesn’t mean it’s good. And even if it’s with good intention, doesn’t mean it’s always healthy. Thanks for a great interview, Anthony and Calvin.

Thank you. So much. I am currently in the same religion with the same thoughts and processes as Calvin. It’s so helpful and emotional for me to see this person who has the same thoughts as me. I’m not crazy. I’m not alone. And this man can go out and live his life the way that I want to. Thank you for giving me that help.

I absolutely love and respect that way that Calvin did not hide or apologize for his emotions. I feel like men are so conditioned to hide from or apologize for their feelings and seeing him genuinely get upset was absolutely heart breaking but also beautiful because you rarely see men genuinely upset without any fear

Calvin seems like such a well spoken, intelligent person, and Anthony is doing a great job as usual, I think this is one of my favorite interviews he's done

“That’s how it becomes toxic, because it’s not always bad” I’m about to cry because he’s articulating the abuse that I’ve experienced in such wonderful way. Or not exact but similar? I’m really grateful for this

‼️Crap whenever he started tearing up it made me cry. I was so hurt. For him. Absolutely heartbreaking.

This touches so close to home. I’m a year and a half out of a cult myself, and hearing somebody else went through something similar… it helps me remember that I’m not crazy

Calvin : "I have 4 moms" Me : Wow, that's a LOT of moms Calvin : "and 44 siblings" Me : Oh, no, that's NOT ENOUGH moms, no, more moms, please that's a lot of children to bear for 4 moms, wow

It’s things like these that make me realize I was raised in a borderline cult. It wasn’t 100% a cult but it was (and still is) getting to that point. I’m so glad I got out before it got worse.

I come from a family that has branched off of Warren Jeffs cult. I’ve never felt so connected and bonded in a video with a person. People think it’s all bad and awful but it was so normal and so loving it felt like in its own twisted and manipulative way. I’m so happy I got out. I would’ve never saw the damage it actually was doing to me and my family until after I escaped. My sisters and mom are still in. I still have very brief and rare conversations with them. It’s sad to watch their brainwash continue to happen from the outside. Thank you for sharing your story.

PLATO'S ALLEGORY OF THE CAVE WAS EYE-OPENING FOR ME TOO

Cults and toxic relationships are very similar and I'm glad he brought that up. In both scenarios, you can be more or less brainwashed and coerced to not think for yourself and be scared to leave no matter how uncomfortable you are. I wish nothing but the best for Calvin.

“Righteousness can replace love.” that cuts deep to anyone who has experienced what Calvin had

These one-on-ones are absolutely my favorite type of content you make, seeing people go in depth on their own stories can provide incredible insight and it's always extremely fascinating. I've always been much more drawn to the idea of two people in a room, talking with each other and sharing stories in an attempt to learn. I love the idea of this format of content.

Extra time was so necessary for the invaluable voice recording and excellent explanation of Plato's allegory. Just like cult members benefit from critical thinking about the outside, the rest of us benefit from examining how one can end up in that situation...and it's enlightening to recognize how subtle things can lead to something sinister. Be safe, y'all.

Just hearing "I hope I did enough" gives me shivers. It's sad that people have to worry about burning in hell right before they die instead of spending it with their loved ones in a better atmosphere.

My grandson shared this with me. Extraordinary! Calvin's courage, and Padilla's compassion and interest. Just wonderful 😊 And Calvin's mom, her support of his personal journey. Beautiful ❣

Anthony Padilla is so respectful. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to" content creator rarely say stuff like that. Respect to this man

When Calvin told the story of his grandmother saying “I hope I was good enough, I hope I was good enough” on her death bed, literally made me picture my Nanna in that situation and I cried for a while. I feel for her and Calvin for ever having to think that way.

The cave story is really cool, but what's also interesting is that the version i learned was a bit different. The person got dragged out of the cave and he fought and screamed and when he was brought outside his eyes hurt from the sun and he couldn't see immediately. After some time, he started to see and the story progressed like in the video.

Please continue making these one on one interviews! They are so eye opening to different experiences. I appreciate Calvin sharing his story so intimately, his authenticity is refreshing

I respect anthony saying he doesn’t have to talk about it when Calvin gets visibly upset about the subject but I have a lot of respect for Calvin pushing forward and telling anthony “I know it NEEDS to be talked about” and I thank him for his story and Raw honesty so much.

“Righteousness can replace love.” Yes, thank you for this. As an ex-JW, this interview meant a lot. thanks, cult cousin ;)

I love how respectful Anthony is with everyone he meets, makes sure his interviewees are comfortable, stating they can disclose as much information as they'd like or not, is unbiased, and how much he interacts with his audience, this chanel is so inclusive and educational, has amazing content and it's refreshing to watch an interviewer with these qualities, becoming successful, opposed to the typical "will push as hard as needed in order to get the scoop" dirtbags that are all too common in this industry Thank you Anthony and team 🖤

I like how Anthony structures his interviews, he doesn't force the person to say anything and makes the room feel warn and safe❤

Anthony I just have your say, your audience is freaking nice. I’ve never been bombarded with so much LOVE! ❤️❤️❤️

I'm only 15, so my experience may not be as in depth as Calvin's but I was raised a Mormon as well (although not fundamentalist). It's always a bit startling to see videos about cults that are based on Mormonism, since I only recently left the church. Though I never knew anything else, I never really felt connected to the church's ideals, mainly because of the way it treated women. I watched the women in my church (including my mom and sisters) suffer for years, being actively silenced and brought down for literally anything they ever did. As a little girl I was taught that I did not have any value other than to birth children and keep them and my husband happy and healthy. Although there is so many ways the church has negatively affected me, I believe the worst is that I was told directly that I did not matter. To the church, I didn't matter as a girl, as a woman or as a person. ESPECIALLY because I have type one diabetes (an autoimmune disorder), so I was seen as "impure". While the men had purpose, and were vital to the church, I was taught that women were expendable and basically useless other than to give their husbands children. This was implemented even by the youth groups, because the boys always did fun, adventurous things like camping, learning survival skills or even just going to an amusement park. The girls, however, did a lot of service activities such as sewing quilts for premature babies, cooking food for church events or learning how to clean. Sorry this is a long comment and not very well written, and there is so much more I can say on the matter but I just wanted to get my personal story out there to show other young people that you *can* get out of a toxic place even before you're an adult. Also, I am open to any questions you may have! I will try to respond to all the replies as soon as I can :)

His story of leaving the work and the journey that led him there sounds near identical to my experience with coming to terms with being trans while growing up in a conservative Christian family. Like near identical, from the self doubt, to the fear of damnation, the person asking "well don't you already feel like you are living in Hell," accepting that being wrong about "god" was better than living how you were, and especially the part about how once you say it, it becomes real

Sending love to Calvin!! He seems so strong, intelligent and courageous. Wish him the best of luck and thanks for sharing your story Calvin!

My heart aches for the children born into it with zero choice and no way to fight it. A lot of children were murdered in Jonestown. Heartbreaking stuff.

when i was listening to this i was imagining an amish type scenario. like ratty clothes and no technology. it’s wild to come to terms with the fact that cults are everywhere and may appear invisible.

I actually had to replay the “44 siblings” part at least three times because I kept thinking “I can’t possibly have heard that right”

22:10 this photo makes me so sad; such sweet moments being tied to such a toxic dynamic

The story that Calvin said about the shadows really sticks with me.. I'm going to be thinking of this for a long time

I'm a philosophy major, so knowing that my 'useless' and 'impractical' subject helped someone makes me so happy. I'm glad you had a great enough prof to show you another way to look at your life!

The way that Calvin explained everything was amazing. I’m so proud of him. Absolutely brilliant

I actually cried and got the chills ! this is one of the best interviews I’ve seen.Thanks Calvin for sharing your story you are an awesome Guy !

Hold up, this guy is really good at explaining.

"righteousness can replace love." this hit home. growing up in the same way as calvin, as a once closeted member of the lgbtq+ community who came out after years- this rang true so many times.

The way he describes a cult sounds exactly like my experience with Christianity

This was so informative and entertaining such a good job on this! He is great at speaking his mind in a clear way. Love your questions too, always respectful ❤️

Can we talk about how he’s already breaking the cycle with his daughter? The guy grew up in a cult, cults aren’t usually very allowing of imperfection or *mistakes* and often make kids feel evil/wrong or like a freak for just making mistakes any developing child makes. This guy grew up in that sort of environment and went on to write a book called “Mistakes are A-Okay Maggie May”. What strength he must have to make such progress in such a short time.

I'd be interested to know how many of his siblings have also managed to break free and how many remain in the cult. And what is his relationship like now with those siblings still in the cult, also with his mother/s

Just found this channel today. Such a great interviewer. Listens to the answers. Makes thoughtful responses that shows he is listening and understanding. So much more professional in approach then actual news channels. So much compassion and real connection from such a young interviewer. Great guests as well.

Thank you so much for making these videos Anthony, the world needs it!

Honestly I like this format with one guest especially with these darker topics. It really helps me understand his story and everything he went through on a deeper level.

The moment he broke into tears, recalling what should have been a beautiful family moment… and the way that his father manipulated the situation and his feelings to make him calm down and think it was ok. I feel for the women in this story, and for this man and all the other children. These individual interviews are so powerful, thank you sir for sharing your story. ❤️

Really love this one Anthony, thank you for the amazing content!

What an amazing interview, i relate so much with what he is saying. I went through that same process myself and it is so difficult. I concluded that every single persons perspective is valid, and we pretty much all think we are right, so just being open to everything, but believing almost nothing, that is also a really hard place to find stability and happiness though, i am still working through it. So nice to hear how Calvin got through that and found a better mental position. Love your channel too Anthony, found you today and binging on the awesome content.

As a someone who was raised in mainstream Mormonism, I can’t believe the amount of strength it took to leave. It was hard enough for me.

This really made me question my relationship with my religion. And I’m so much better for it! I already know I’m leaving organized religion. I’m not leaving my relationship with my God because I enjoy it and it helps me understand life better, but I am done with the church. All the hypocrisies have hurt so many. I like Gandhi’s quote “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

I have only watched Anthony one or two other times, yet I am always so impressed at how polite an interview he runs. He is so kind, soft spoken and polite.

I have only recently discovered this series and I have to say that it's incredible. Every single video I've watched so far has been so interesting and fascinating. Thank you for putting so much time into these videos and for taking each and every one you are talking to seriously.

this shit is so difficult to talk about growing up in a abusive community, its so hard to open up. hes so brave to open up and talk about this and i'm glad that anthony talks about subjects like these so people dont feel like theyre alone✨✨✨💗💗💗💗 update: YOOO WTF I NEVER REACHED 500 LIKES !? im glad yall support and read what im saying

as someone who has a bachelor in philosophy and is going to get a master in the same thing, I almost cried hearing this man speaking about his wake up call.

This is my third video of yours that I'm watching, Anthony. This is fantastic journalism. You are really good at this.

I'm really happy you made this episode and I loved the interviewee

Ok note on his children’s book, I looked at the cover an it looks so darn cute! I might get it for my friend. She is close to having her second baby.

Philosophy is a lost art that should be required in secondary school. When I decided to pursue philosophy I realized that I was thinking in a way that others conditioned me to. You have to unlearn your thoughts in order the truly think for yourself. I am so grateful everyday to study it.

I absolutely love Anthony's way to make people feel so confortable, it's so beautiful. This was amazing

i was raised in mormonism, not quite as intense and fundamentalist mormonism, but god it’s so demanding emotionally and mentally. i remember my process of leaving was filled with so much grief. everyone around me telling me i’m making a mistake was so difficult. something important about these two religions that wasn’t mentioned is that many believe in order for a parent to go to heaven they have to be accountable for their children. my parents had a very difficult time when i left because they felt like i was ruining their chances of having a forever family. the guilt is horrible. thanks for sharing calvin :,)

As they say, no one goes into a pot of boiling water. This adage is true for relationships and cults.