I Figured Out Which Billionaire Should Be Batman

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I apologize to everyone who wanted me to actually rank the Batman villains, but this idea came to mind and I couldn't not do. I spent way too much time writing this one and loved every second of it. Seriously, Mark Zuckerberg is a terrible man.
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Опубликовано:

14 янв 2024

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Комментарии : 741

@DoorMonster

I can't think of a name for this series, please help.

@Runix1

The problem with turning one of their kids into batman, is that the kid needs to have a good relationship with their parents.

@michaeloconnor9739

Mark Zuckerberg is just close enough to being Batman that he makes a perfect Batman villain

@Runsofourlives

Can't be batman when you're busy being Lex Luthor.

@beammeupscott3032

I almost died laughing at the thought that he very much implied that we are two bullets and three theater tickets away from turning one of the most powerful people on earth into Batman.

@macmac6725

The real thing that stops people from being Batman is bullets. Turns out that lots of bad guys have guns and bullets are like super duper difficult to dodge even if you have abs.

@tarnim80

This made me realize how unlikley it is that Batmans secret identity can remain hidden. Everyone can tell his gender, body type and approximate age. Add to that that he needs to have a very large disposable income and lots of free time AND that he mostley opperates out of one city. His cover would be blown within hours IRL.

@coolBguy

They could be batman, they chose to be human smaug

@orijimi

"Who isn't being Batman the most?" is one of the most interesting rhetorical framings I've ever heard.

@sananaryon4061

My only complaint is that you consider cryptobros "level-headed"

@ixwin

As a fan of both BDG and Door Monster, I'm loving Kyle's spiritual continuation of Unraveled

@JosephDickson

Step one, give Kyle 1.5 billion dollars. step two, he's The Batman.

@z-beeblebrox

Another point in favor of Taylor Swift that wasn’t mentioned is that her rabid fanbase could already be classified as vigilantes. So she would have a truly inexhaustible bat family

@ZombieApocalypse09

I used to always say the surest sign the rich are dumb and boring is that none of them made dinosaurs yet. This is a good additional data point on that graph.

@AgencyNighthawk

I love how well you sell your personal offense at no billionaires being Batman

@gabrielrussell5531

Batman's wealth actually varies a lot from iteration to iteration. In the DCAU he's apparently rich enough that he can embezzle a space-station through clever accounting.

@WasatchWind

Jared Isaacman. He's a billionaire that loves doing things like flying fighter jets. He flew on a commercial spaceflight as a fundraising campaign for st. Jude children's hospital.

@ryangale3757

Yeah, hadn't quite realized just how boring billionaires are these days, but good lord, Kyle makes an excellent point there. Why don't we have a Batman? Something interesting, please.