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"I Got A Job As A Security Guard. It Comes With A Strange List Of Rules" | Creepypasta

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I probably should've read them...
By Sawyerthesadist
►Story: www.reddit.com...
ARTIST:
►Horror Story Thumbnail Art:
Alex SpLiNe
www.artstation...
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Опубликовано:

19 авг 2024

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Комментарии : 448

@connerpellew2351 2 года назад

Dude 10/10 this story was amazing. Seriously best ive heard in a while and there's some good stories going around.

@dankers_420 2 года назад

Honestly had me laughing my ass off

@connerpellew2351 2 года назад

Me too man it was oddly wholesome. The dude smiled and stayed friendly throughout it all.

@rosetanner9817 2 года назад

Yup 👍. Connor's Correct 💯🙏

@TheRiotHorror 2 года назад

Completely agree. This was a great one.

@DizzyDizzle Год назад

Honestly was great, in the way that it was a nice break from all the existential, lovecraftian horror. Made me chuckle, and also reminded me a bit of myself. I'm always the first one to be like "um actually that's illegal, so imma go ahead and do me".

@NicoleChorney 2 года назад

This has to be the best rules creepypasta I've ever heard! I love how Johnny was so nonchalant about everything he saw that night, and the horrors seemed to be confused by his actions. Their complete surprise at someone who didn't follow the myriad of regulations probably saved his life many times over, but I wonder if they would have been that accepting if he'd come back for a second night. Guess we'll never know 🤷. I'd love to hear what the rules actually were, but that's part of the charm of the story.

@ChristianGibbons777 2 года назад

Many of those horrors had to have got caught up in the explosion for sure though, don’t you think??? 😂😂😂

@MannyMulattoPlays 2 года назад

Its kinda like "My property isnt normal" where the mc kinda just rolls with the punches though the mc in "My property" is insane in his own right.

@emilysigmund1255 2 года назад

Johnny, it's either a miracle you're alive or you're so dudderheaded that you'll just slide by in life and actually are perfect for this place.

@gent_Carolina 2 дня назад

OR he's a sociopathic uni-bomber 👻

@carymcdaniel6275 2 года назад

I enjoy how clueless Johnny seems to be. Great story

@jackiec498 2 года назад

Ignorance is Bliss apparently. Honestly, he was a pretty unlikeable character I'm surprised he came out unscathed 😳.

@gothgirl4evr782 2 года назад

I'm guessing his cluelessness mixed with his unlikeable shmuck attitude are the only reasons he survived given he didn't just not follow the rules he flat out didn't even read them or have a copy to finally read them when the first weird thing happened like all the other rule stories MCs do. Shows that God really must favor idiots. LOL

@rosetanner9817 2 года назад

@@jackiec498 ikr.🤫

@sawyerdel-montague171 2 года назад

@@gothgirl4evr782 When I initially wrote this, Johnny finds the list in the bathroom crumbled in his pocket when he's trying to find something to use as toilet paper. I'll let you guess what happened :)

@popeyedsky288 2 года назад

Idk about clueless, but zero fucks to give. Meme shitlord instead of obeying the rules. Pretty great tbh

@icecoffee907 2 года назад

I love the creepypastas where someone gets a new job, or gets a new home and gets a list of rules. And you would think by now, they would already learn and go ahead and just follow the rules.

@kirakaffee9976 2 года назад

but this one is exceptional. doesn't even read them and still survived unscathed and unfazed 😁

@jackiec498 2 года назад

Yeah, I roll my eyes every time when the protagonist inevitably gets to the point where they're like, "I guess this is a hazing of the new guy" or, "Seems like a strange practical joke.." then like throws them away or something 🤦🏻‍♂️. It's like, how many times are we gonna run this plot LoL.

@rosetanner9817 2 года назад

Me too!👍

@AlTheWombat 2 года назад

@@jackiec498 It's always so frustrating when protagonists seem to lack common sense but the stories woud probably not be as intense and dangerous. Like the also often used "Hey, lets check out this haunted abandoned [Insert building name] tonight!" or "What was that creepy noise? Let's split up into groups as small as possible and look for it!"

@gent_Carolina 2 дня назад

Art imitating real life? 😁

@bluefalconssuck5881 2 года назад

Not even intelligent malice knows how to deal with joyous self-imposed ignorance... like handing a mugger a squeaky rubber chicken and saying "He likes Cheerios the best" then walking off.

@michaelgorham2100 2 года назад

I love that you narrate stories that are lighthearted and humorous along with the creepy and dreadful. Great story.

@kirakaffee9976 2 года назад

oh i loved this one. how chill he is, totally not scared of any strange beings, (possibly therefore) getting along with them just fine and leaving a trail of destruction behind. "oops.. i guess I have to find s new job" 😁 I totally want to hear about his next jobs.

@sugakookie7985 6 месяцев назад

I really want the back story on the dollar store

@dragonback6075 5 месяцев назад

There's probably just a giant crater where the dollar store stood 🤣🤣🤣

@dragonback6075 5 месяцев назад

💯 %👍 I'd love to here more of his story 😀

@angryemployee 2 года назад

I've pretty much had my fill of the rules stories. However, when I saw how short this video was, I decided to go ahead and give it a listen. I'm so glad I did. This story is great!

@captainprice2655 2 года назад

Great story as well as narration. Johnny’s personality makes me want a part 2 where he gets killed violently though lol.

@sugakookie7985 8 месяцев назад

I wanna kniw how he screwed up his Dollar Store gig?

@lrd_d34th9 2 года назад

Give this guy’s moral a rating of chaotic evil

@teresakirkland995 2 года назад

This is the absolute best rules story I’ve ever heard!! “My new workplace just exploded! I guess I’m gonna have to find a new job.” I’m dead!

@kyfmeta7252 2 года назад

This was refreshing. Wish he would've came back for night 2 and found that the entities were cool with him and were evil pranksters instead of murderous.

@iykyk-bl6ix 2 года назад

I love how nonchalant Johnny is about everything. *building explodes, killing everyone inside* "Hm. Guess I'm gonna have to find a new job."

@neonbat666 2 года назад

Yes! Great reading, dude! And a refreshing twist on a rather formulaic brand of creepypasta. Overly chill reactions to bizarre stuff/ treating the monstrous as mundane is a favorite trope of mine. Now all I need to see is a rulepasta in which the protag _actually_ follows the rules.

@TheGreenarrow88 2 года назад

I like these magical worlds where people just wander into security guard jobs instead of them being very competitive to get into

@SplendidDog 2 года назад

I love the narration! I really like how this story takes a parody approach to the normal rules format.

@michaelmcdowell7096 2 года назад

So hilarious, I’d love a sequel/prequal

@jackiec498 2 года назад

A prequel would be perfect! Sounds like he's walked a long and precarious road LoL. Lots of stupidity and entitlement, while narrowly dodging the consequences.... leaving a path of destruction in his wake 😄

@NicoleChorney 2 года назад

Maybe find out what happened at the dollar store.

@rosetanner9817 2 года назад

@@NicoleChorney 🤣😂🥰😅😂🤣

@sawyerdel-montague171 2 года назад

Lowkey there is actually a sequel to this

@dominikdrezga3892 Год назад

@@sawyerdel-montague171 what is it i need to know

@jenniferwalden8464 2 года назад

I love the stories about rules and this one is in my top 5! I love the humor, it sets it apart and Lighthouse knows how to bring a story to life! He's one of the best, if not the best.

@rosetanner9817 2 года назад

👍 agreed

@summerrose7650 2 года назад

This had to be the best rules story ever... Of all time... I love weirdo boy king of the rats XD

@connerpellew2351 2 года назад

Man i listened to this story again twice this morning. It's just so great you deserve a literal award for this solid piece of golden content. I will share this story until everyone in the universe had heard( and liked it!!!

@A1Z4Artzy 2 года назад

such a comedic story lol it even end up with a bang 😂 usually the rule story would be accidental mistakes and the protagonist soon realize what's wrong, but this Johnny dude, just straight up ignore the rule, being chill with everything and somehow still alive lmao

@angelischiel 2 года назад

"His brother Johny made the nice list, why can't he do it too" - my rough memory of what the Elf said to Santa in a previous story. The guy talks about his 'brother' - and then I realize this was written by Sawyer the Sadist, and my mind went "Is this before or AFTER Johny wanted a bag of crystal Meth for Christmas?" - Thank you, this was amazing, I enjoyed the writing (so kudos to the author) and I enjoyed the way that Johny seemed absolutely oblivious of ANYTHING going on in that building. Very jovial upbeat flavor with a dash of naiveté, it was oddly soothing even at nearly 2am in the moment. xD

@LighthouseHorror 2 года назад

hah hey Morrigan!

@angelischiel 2 года назад

@@LighthouseHorror Hello! I always enjoy when you respond to me xD It makes me feel like someone notices my crazy comments. xD I haven't left comments on the last few, but as usual, I do plan on going back and poking at the ones I didn't and adding comments later. ;3 I have been busy with the Winter Term for my BS-PSY degree, I am doing this term and the Spring Term to bring my GPA up higher for graduation. I actually could graduate now, but as I wanna go to Grad school I have to do a lot more to get there. These videos have been more helpful than you can imagine, and have helped my own creativity. I am seriously thinking about writing a series of my own now. xD

@sawyerdel-montague171 2 года назад

I have legit been scrolling down waiting to find someone who picked up on this LMAO. Listen, in the original script, Johnny is high off his ASS during this whole ordeal. Also, I wrote this about a year ago. The Santa story is more recent.

@angelischiel 2 года назад

@@sawyerdel-montague171 I absolutely LOVE the way that you played both of these storylines, I have a pretty detailed comment for the Santa story as well, I loved both. That legitimately makes sense, being high as hell is about the only way that place would seem pretty normal. This sorta stuff and the popularity it seems to have with listeners and readers has sort of started to inspire me on the potential of a story series I wanted to write of my own. I really do love the linear but obscure references in a writer's interconnected stories. Sort of like Easter Eggs, but it's a story - not a video game.

@Rose_Bride 2 года назад

What a GREAT subversion of the usual "list" genre! I am PLEASANTLY surprised! At some point, I was afraid this clueless slacker would get himself _killed._ But shock beyond shocks the lucky little b@st@rd ACTUALLY SURVIVED! Even BETTER is how the author didn't waste time listing or naming the "rules", so that we the audience are as clueless as our main character, having no idea what will happen or what sort of consequences our slacker will face for not following the rules to the LETTER. I don't usually like neverending sequels, but I would genuinely LOVE to hear more misadventures of this loveable, lazy, slacker, jumping from job to job causing mayhem and mishap along the way.

@Acetyl53 2 года назад

Ha, this was one of the best meta rules story. Self parody. "Pretty sure that's illegal..."

@grizzly6018 2 года назад

i love how he just straight up casually roasted the 2 spirits and one was like "WHATS WRONG WITH OUR EYES!?" 😂😂😂

@janetac1738 2 года назад

I hope you realize that you literally read me bedtime stories every single night lol and I love it!😁 In all seriousness though I have to tell you, your voice is perfect, the way you’re not reading, you’re actually telling a story is perfect!! Between you and Dr. plague I’m GOOD🙂

@itjustmemanning8441 2 года назад

Thats one way to get through life. Just keep smiling and do what ya gotta do.

@LighthouseHorror 2 года назад

totally

@steampunk2194 2 года назад

The kid riding on top of a horde of rats and the ending had me in tears 😂

@fujikurayami01 2 года назад

Best story I've heard in a long time, the part where he didn't remember any of the rules and still survived lol

@tehwicked1 2 года назад

Phenomenal as always, my friend. Best narrator on RU-vid. Your timing is impeccable. And your incredible work is much appreciated.

@jackiec498 2 года назад

I'd go as far as to say, even his mediocre work is much appreciated!! LoL😘

@andreasantiago4193 2 года назад

Okay m L

@GG-ip3ru Год назад

My S/O knows that I love stories like this. He heard this 1 & sent it 2me saying- “ *This is exactly how you’d survive these types of situations… an ALARMING amount of dumb luck* “

@theconfusedvampire 2 года назад

I LOVE rules stories, ESPECIALLY Security Guard ones. Another great story! Have an awesome night, y'all. He got the entire building destroyed. How bad did he mess up?! What were the rules?!

@-aprilmornings-2313 2 года назад

😆this was great!! Very unique take on a rules creepypasta. I have to say it worked kinda a Murphy’s law meets the paranormal. Good story!

@spcmartin420 2 года назад

I love rules stories and nonchalant dismissal of all things creepy

@tiredmrp 2 года назад

Rules stories are my favorite, even ones where all of them get broken. This idiot was either blessed, incredibly lucky or somehow found a cheat code when he both fed the rats and gave the boy the stick

@CullObsidianPlays626 2 года назад

😂 😂 😂Bruh is a complete airhead and yet survived where most whom follow the rules would've died 😂 😂 😂

@vincentshadetree 2 года назад

This guy was surrounded by Lovecraftian Horrors all over and was too blissfully ignorant to get the picture 😅

@fortkavanagh 2 года назад

WTF? This is the 1st time I've heard of a strange rules story where the guy survives the horrors of the situation through obliviousness?

@CwL-1984 2 года назад

The security job that I had was easy, but boring and I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone while at work.

@lovealways4435 2 года назад

Whaaaaat?! That's terrible! Wtf is fun about work if you can't talk to anyone?!

@Krigarkaj 2 года назад

That must have been dull 😧

@CwL-1984 2 года назад

@@Krigarkaj it sucked

@CwL-1984 2 года назад

@@lovealways4435 oh it sucked

@Afro1Pigeon 2 года назад

I have one rn and I watch movies all day 🤣🤣

@nayeonranghae 2 года назад

Nice! Recently tested positive as well… its bad. Fever, VERY VERY dry nose/ throat. Hoarse voice. Head hurts. Gonna listen to this sometime. Stay safe yall. YOU DO NOT WANNA GET COVID

@LighthouseHorror 2 года назад

hope you feel better soon

@lyndellrobinson3611 2 года назад

Praying you to feel better soon! Just getting over it myself. Caught it over Christmas. My case was somewhat "mild" as it felt like allergies mixed with a sinus infection with an occasional migraine, but my sister had your exact symptoms.

@rosetanner9817 2 года назад

Please get better soon. God speed. 🙏

@chewkuilan9939 2 года назад

This one hell of annoy story but funny just don't like people that's don't follow rule making other people suffer , i like the way you present this story , thank you... :)

@lufsolitaire5351 2 года назад

I think that the author intentionally made the protagonist an arrogant dumbass who can’t read the room so you don’t feel sorry for him when he fucks up.

@sim5737 2 года назад

It's been a while since I've come across a story I've liked this much! Thanks for narrating it, you really brought it to life ^^

@TaylerBootz 2 года назад

That was the funniest rules story ever. 🤣 Would actually love to hear it from another perspective.

@HotMess320 2 года назад

I really have come to love the list stories! I’m excited for tonight 😬😊

@jaylove23 2 года назад

Awesome story ,different. Would have been nice to know all of his near death experiences. Like he went home and found the list and realized all the things he did that could have got him killed. Then have him laugh it off like nothing.

@lovealways4435 2 года назад

Heck yeah, time to pile in bed everybody, it's Lighthouse time!! Holy crap this story was freaking great! 😂 I just really wish it told us the rules at the end so we could see how absolutely terrible of a job he'd done

@enslaved1 2 года назад

I want Lighthouse to narrate my life. Maybe then I might actually like to live it.

@marvelnube 2 года назад

Wonderful story that really breaks the mold. Would make a cool short movie too lol. Love the narration as well. Great job guys!

@jasonalbran376 2 года назад

I know some security personnel and he said the interview at the beginning wasn't too far from the reality of security work. With the whole " I gotcha man!" He told me that 2 out of 3 applicants have used that in some manner.

@criswebb7470 2 года назад

HAHA, I love this protagonist. He's so chill!

@rosetanner9817 2 года назад

Yup 😁👍

@Artyom.2033 10 месяцев назад

There has to be some other story where the guard just does not give a f, or is testing the rules of the site and just scares all the monsters inside. I loved this one

@Seb.G.Studios 2 года назад

you know when you've messed up on the rules when the building blows up in the morning

@albireotheredguard1599 2 года назад

Someone needs to make this into a comic or animation, this was hilarious as all hell!

@rneustel388 2 года назад

Johnny is one of those people that bumbles along through life, and never realizes the disasters happening behind him.

@TheMostHigh13 2 года назад

Best rule story; all of the other ones suck for the most part. I don't know why this made me think of My Property Isn't Normal. Great narration too.

@cupcakehips9236 2 года назад

Hahaha. A new take on the roule story trope. Love it 🤣🤣

@daddyzgirlz22 2 года назад

you are a special kind of something when you can flabbergast someone kind of rake creature lol

@LighthouseHorror 2 года назад

lol true

@Teslabluewolf 3 месяца назад

I watch these rules videos because i love learning the rules and anticipating how things will unfold. Wasnt expecting this kind of story but have to admit it was hilarious and a lot of fun.

@yoyoty88 Год назад

What a masterpiece. Love Johnny's attitude. A rules creepy pasta without even knowing the rules, and the protagonist goes out without consequences. Well almost non. He still needs to find a new job

@amabbie6 2 года назад

Idk why but I love the creepy pasta stories where the main character manages to stupidly survive

@amayaokazaki3407 2 года назад

I am just picturing that kid on the throne of rats chasing people with the stick and dying. That is hilarious and I wish I could this whole story was animated. It would be a riot start to finish. He should be employee of the year xD

@cmd1095 10 дней назад

Man broke the rules so hard he circled around to surviving, 10/10 definitely a fun twist

@KariGrafton 2 года назад

Not sure whether to laugh or cry at this story, because I've definitely worked with people like that.

@LighthouseHorror 2 года назад

lol me too

@Xamsims 3 месяца назад

Who knew Johnny would be more deadly than the entities. Disregarding their rules and blowing up their place, lmao.

@shaun601 2 года назад

Johnny is the embodiment of "Ignorance is bliss" 🤣🤣🤣

@rockspoon6528 2 года назад

Eh, that's what they get for hiring some who's clearly not taking it seriously

@grldnlcp 2 года назад

great story telling! ❤️

@nunyabizness3101 2 года назад

I find rule stories are the easiest horror to fall asleep to, so this was just perfect thank you 👌😁

@Gloomistic 2 года назад

We were just talking about these kind of characters too. lol This'll be a good one.

@ortizguard2816 2 года назад

Guess this guy doesn't practice, no guard left behind!

@anniereddj 2 года назад

Phenomenal narration of this story by Sawyerthesadist that would be scary if not for the hysterical, rules oblivious employee! Not a big fan of rules stories, I LOVED this! Talk about not being accountable for one's actions lolol! This was awesome! Great accent on the boss too. Thank you both for a great end to my day!!

@tormentedslayer7498 2 года назад

Lol I like rule stories, but if I was in such story.. this is the way I’d be! Lmao nice change of pace!

@barkingbunny2928 2 года назад

Wheee! Loved this one! I know so many people like this...

@KGBBooks 2 года назад

A worthy addition to the Rules Cinematic Universe

@AlexAndra-iy5zu 2 года назад

When the lack of common sense saves your life 😂 Reminds me of an old cartoon, Mr Magoo, an older gentleman who could not see a single thing without his coke bottle glasses. He escaped danger all the time, purely by accident. 😂

@LighthouseHorror 2 года назад

lol Mr Maggo would've survived this for sure hah

@elena19-80 2 года назад

That guy annoyed the crap out of me lol. Brilliant story 👏

@EdgyShooter 2 года назад

Sometimes it's nice to have a break and just hear the funny ones! I love the fact that a hapless guy could casual wander through this chaos, confusing daemons and accidentally bring the whole place crashing down 😂

@davidh7177 2 года назад

I hate rules stories but this one was hilarious! 11 out of 10 is how good it was! 11/10! Brilliant

@nonablouin2606 2 года назад

This one is kinda funny compared to other stories that you have rules to follow. I like that you switched your sticker back to the lighthouse

@WolfgangvonHam Год назад

These are great for sleeping to and also when you cannot sleep. Ive been listening to these all night

@sweetpeasarah1 2 года назад

I need a thesaurus to find the words I haven’t yet used to describe how dam Godly amazing you and your work is….I love you so much dude I’ve run out of bad ass adjectives to use on ya! ❤️❤️❤️💜💜💜💜

@MythicStealth 2 года назад

The moral of the story: Be a Johnny! I loved his whole attitude.

@srmj71 2 года назад

I've been waiting all day! Thanks, my man!

@nancyM1313 2 года назад

Thanks Lighthouse💖

@winstonwins1096 2 года назад

I was going to say that I've had enough with the rule stories for a while but in light of the comments I'll give this one a chance.

@JUDGExNOCTURNAL 2 года назад

This story made me laugh...!!! Dude gave no Fs...lol

@Hal0630 2 года назад

I work nightshift at a motel and I can relate to our narrator. Keep goin, buddy.

@breeze715 Год назад

I've never been more understanding if someone got done in by a cryptid than I am listening to Johnny fumble so hard

@chiefhowlingwolfhannibal7360 2 года назад

Lol! That ole Johnny is a trip

@silviazemanova6337 2 года назад

Well, this is one great story again, and I love how your narration style matches the overall feeling of it 100 %. As it usually does, anyway, but these less commonly used creepypasta writing styles make your talent really shine. ;)

@clarkeashley39 Год назад

Loved this one Jonny is so oblivious and chaotic.

@Kat-Zcratch_Mox13 2 года назад

That job interview.... Balls of STEEL, this one. Lol

@vexxama 5 месяцев назад

Such a refreshing take on the usual format. I love how from the moment he starts talking, he rubs me the wrong way. Most of these kind of things have the narrator be a blank slate that might show some personality later on, but here we get a front row seat to the…charming protagonist. I thought this might be night at the museum-esque type thing where he goes back for the rules and gives himself a crash course. I was not prepared for wilful ignorance in the face of the supernatural and dangerous. How he isn’t dead is a mystery only matched by the mystery of the rules we never heard about! However this guy screwed up, it must have been wrong on every single rule…I kinda want to hear more about this character

@yllim3170 2 года назад

Part 292 of thanking the lighthouse horror for their constant uploads

@katiekatanime 2 года назад

I love the stories where the protagonist just sort of Mr. Magoo‘s their way out of every scary situation without a sweat it’s freaking hilarious!

@novalong Год назад

This rules story was fabulous, I laughed soo hard. This guy was too chill and lucky, lol. We need more rules story like this one. 😄

@lisaspada2125 2 года назад

This was the best rules story I've heard thanks LH 😆💜

@walk4348 2 года назад

Nice, a rules pasta!!pasts!!! Good way to start the week off right.

@grizzly6018 2 года назад

Lmao he just causally let a demon free and undid months of strict prep work in a few hours. Giving the tool to the king rat boy all like "here ya go, have fun!" oh man i love these sort of comedy settings