i hate my mind 

I’m so sorry that you are still feeling like this

This video is really worrying and so hard to watch please take care and get help 💕💕💕

Oh Marie, you have such a beautiful soul. I’m sorry your brain isn’t playing ball at the moment, I hope it’s better for you soon. Love and hugs x

Could you make a video about coming home after you were discharged from hospital and what it was like to live at home again/ what your safety plan was for being at home? X

feeling v wrong too. so thankful for you. be good to yourself angel, thinking of you

I hate it when I look in a mirror or catch a glimpse of myself or look at pictures of myself and it doesn't match what I look like in my head. I don't know if that makes sense but yeah

these last couple months have literally felt like so wrong and its so scary.. but you're not alone. "wrong" is the perfect word

♥️keep going Marie, speak with the people you got to speak with and you’ll get threw it. We love you Also your exact words you said to me 2 months ago : sending all my love to you angel, keep going, keep talking- don’t ever let the dark side of your brain win, you can do this xxx

Here for you! As another person with BPD I know how hard it is living day to day, especially when you’re doing so great and the back of your head you’re just waiting for the crash. Here to talk whenever you want to ❤️

Lol I’m currently in a psychiatric ward so I feel you bro x

So hard seeing you like this Marie, hope you feel better soon and know that we all love and support you! Xx

someone else who knows what’s its like to just feel “wrong” and that fear of “omg it’s all going really really fucking bad and I’ll be in that horrific place,mentally again” sometimes I’ve felt to shit I laugh myself to tears bc I’m thinking WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME LIKE ??? What fucks me up more is after a few really dark months I woke up morning feeling on top of the world?? Doesn’t make sense girl does it

We’ll all still be here for you ❤️

‘I’m a fokin’ mess’ relatable. love you xx

Just a reminder that I love you 💗

We're all here for you girl. I hope you seek help and start to feel better. Please remember that going into hospital isn't weak if it's going to help you feel better and get healthy. Suffering at home isn't worth it for your health.

Hope u feel better soon sending sm love, u truly r so inspirational and make me feel like I’m not alone in all this ♡ ♡

I’ve been watching your videos for a while now and I was so so happy when everything started to go right for you, and in my head I always wished things would stay on track for you, I’m so so heartbroken for you and I really hope you can come back from this, it gets better I promise, your videos have helped me so much so take your own advice, and I hope things get better soon, stay strong❤️

I've been recently diagnosed with BPD and it has been quite hard so far. This was heartbreaking, but thank you for being open and vulnerable, because it makes people like me feel less alone, and I think you know how helpful that can be.

I have felt completely in a rut this month as well. Im trying to have things to look forward to, and maybe after christmas with the prospect of a new year things will feel refreshed. I just want to say thanks for sharing this because i know i'm not the only one to feel like this. I feel like at this time of year there is an expectation to be happy because christmas is coming up. Keeping staying strong

i had this from about june - september and i cannot remember ANYTHING from that time period. and now i have started this weird mess dissociation thing again which is NOT HELPFUL because it’s gcse s :))) hope your feeling better and getting help you need, we are all here x

I miss you❤

you've been saying you've been struggling sleeping for ages and I know that not being able to sleep only tends to make things worse so I really hope you're able to get some good sleep soon Marie! much love x

Here for you xx lots of love

Oh marie😩I feel so so sorry for u it’s so hard to battle with ur mind I can relate to what your saying it’s so strange seeing you brutally show what’s going on with you atm but I’m glad u are, this is incredibly brave of you and it might help , to know that no ones alone because everyone has it bad but you need to think of yourself because realistically u are only yourself ❤️

Aww Marie, you seem like your brain is going a million mph😣 It’s super hard but grounding techniques are really helpful, see what the psychiatrist says on friday, sending love❤️

i hope your feeling better soon

this is exactly how i feel, very "wrong." so much resonated. thank you for being yourself, and take care of yourself.

The way you explained at the end sounds like depersonalisation, and Ive struggled with it a lot recently, especially the way you're saying you don't know what's going on and you just don't feel right seems familiar, wish you the best ♥️

It’s ok not to be ok. No one is perfect. To me, it sounds like you are medication is not right. It shouldn’t keep you awake days on end that is not good for you mentally or physically. Maybe you need to process your emotions and concerns for your future, instead of trying to shove everything down for fear you may be losing it and the consequences that may follow. You are still very young and have your whole life ahead of you. It isn’t ruined by your current struggles. You can get through this.

I honestly have never even been able to relate to a person more,, look after yourself beautiful 💛

All I wanna do is give you a massive hug and tell you everything’s gonna be okay. Your flipping amazing and everyone is super proud of you no matter what. IM so so so so proud of you xxxx

holy shit the thumbnail looks like a representation of how the world feels to me.

Oh Marie, I hope things become a little easier for you soon. I can only imagine how difficult these past few months have been for you. I also have been pushing through knowing something wasn’t right again, and I cracked Wednesday and had to get my meds upped. Thinking of us and our mental states at this time 😭 look after yourself xx

Thank you for posting this video, I find it so relatable (I've been seeing a psychiatrist since 2016 and self harming/been depressed since 2006). Take care of you ❤️

It’s upsetting me to see u like this! We love you x x x I feel wrong at the moment too

i love you so so much angel :(

You made my day, and you'll get better ik that, you're an amazing and beautiful soul , good things takes time, be patient with yourself and take care

Thank you for being real and honest!! I feel you! love you!

Marie :( this video made me feel really sad, it must be horrible to be such a lovely talented person but feel held back by the confusing world of mental ill health. I hope the psychiatrist can help. Sending love and healing your way xx

Your genuinely so inspirational, ive watched almost all of your videos in the last week and ive been going through depression and selfharm and your so relatable and helpful tysm ly ❤️

you literally help me so much it’s unreal.. i also feel rlly wrong! & watching your videos is just rlly comforting & helpful & ily

My heart hurts for you so much Marie, I wish you the best and that every day you will feel better and better, maybe not now but in the future you will, your strength is phenomenal and you will power through ❤️

i'm so sorry your feeling like this, please take some time for yourself, thinking of you xx

I’m so sad you still feel this but just remember you are very strong and inspiring and you will get through this xxxxxx

So sorry your feeling so bad sweetheart I hope you feel better soon you are such a strong person I love you your a beautiful woman inside and out iam proud of you

You’re the biggest inspiration to me gal, know exactly what you mean about putting one thing out on social media and feeling like a completely different person sometimes but the fact you’re so open & authentic about your mental health is the biggest inspiration ever. Sending so much love your way, you’re amazing, stay strong 💞💞💞

oh honey i just want to give you a big hug

sending lots of love, happiness, and positivity💛

we all love you soo much keep being strong you've made it this far💗

This is such a comfort video for me. I’ve seen it so much. Im so happy you’re legit THRIVING now

Marie, you are such a lovely soul and just know that you have people from all over the world who will rally behind you and support you every step of the way! Sending my love from the states ❤🖤

Although things may not seem OKAY right now, You know that you will be OKAY and things will be OKAY. OKAY? 😂 I know that all hope and motivation has just disappeared but slowly it will come and with time you will see and feel you. Don't be hard on yourself but gentle. Cry, scream, smile and laugh. I'm weirdo I know! 😂 Stay Strong beautiful!

Marie I think this vid shows you navigating the bipolar mood spectrum like a jacked up submarine going up and down. Scary ultra highs and scary ultra lows, so happy you seem well now

be good to yourself. i adore you; you’re such an inspiration to so many people.. i hope that you’re okay. bless you sweet girl.

Oh Marie

god i feel exactly the same 😭 sending you all my love you can do this ❤️

Praying you’re doing better and that if you’re not that it will get better. Legit get the same way sometimes and I know how awful it is. Love you girl!

You're amazing and strong for showing this side to you. We all go through some serious mental issues but not everyone can talk about it so thank you for sharing how you feel with us. Take some time to heal and get through this ... I'm routing for you

You are one of the kindest souls, you deserve to do what you need to do 💫thank you for sharing your journey so that we can see that we are not alone

Hey hun. I just want to say I really hope you feel better soon. The winter months can be some of the hardest for mental health and tbh I’m feeling it too. It will get better. We’re all here for you, you’ve got this. Keep going, we love you 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

never related so much to a vid before!!! im in hosp atm and in a fucking weird place, like in another dimension ?! sending love girl ❤️

This time of year is so shit. I feel uuuu and love you xx

I love you so much babes and I'm always here 💛💛

I know this video is kinda old but honestly idk how you do it, you spread so much positivity even when your struggling and it’s amazing. I’m such a mess at the moment, thank you for being open so I feel less alone x

No video has ever felt so relatable than this one feels right now.

I totally understand about the phone, I have days when I wanna watch RU-vid, listen to music yet the humans,/people in daily life can piss off. I literally don’t care about other people’s feelings if I miss calls because I am play a game

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I hope you can work out what you need to! Your videos are so brave and helpful. Just do what you need to do and feel better!

I bloody love you Marie! I love and appreciate your honesty. You’re always here for us and I think I can speak for all of your subbies, we’re here for you too 😘💔🤗xx

I get erratic like this as well when I’m down spiraling. Lately I’ve been feeling as if everything’s fake sometimes I swear I can’t even feel my legs when I walk. I’ve just started new meds so hopefully as time goes by things improve. I don’t really want to go down the rabbit hole again. I hope for you that you get a hold of your reality as well. Be strong.

ugh i love u :(( stay strong beautiful and try to be good to yourself because you deserve goodness in life 💗

and you are not stupid, you are self observative, your life is about you and it's a big life. lot's of things are happening and you are the in the center of everything. You are very beautiful and your videos are amazing. Thank you for sharing, i just know that it is good to keep some things in mind. Dominant positions you will harmoniously hold if you will allow people to win, if you will allow them to cover your space, but i think you already learned this lesson in the hard way.

You're brave for posting this. We're here for you! 💕

You don’t have to pretend to be happy or be someone you’re not, we love you anyway ❤️

I watched this video 1 year before diagnosed with borderline personality disorder just as lost 18 / 19 year old not knowing what was wrong with me at the time I was told it was anxiety and depression. A year later I was diagnosed with borderline personality and I’m now 24 I have recently been diagnosed with autism too. Looking back reminds me of feeling very similar at the time.

Every word you said I relate to %200 I can feel so fucking depressed and can still joke and I just want to thankyou for being vulnerable, I can’t remember the last year to be honest and I’m sitting here like wtf happened >.< you’re beautiful inside and out

I'm worried about you because I had been in the same situation as you my worst mental breakdown was on 2016 since then I'm doing better but I'm still struggling with my mental health I remember I found your channel when I was searching for mental health experiences videos and I started watching your videos and love how real you were ,your content is the best for all the young people with mental health issues I'm really proud of you and you will get through this because you're strong and a beautiful person love you I'm not an english speaker but I hope you can read my message💝

little bit too relatable tbh loveu marie you are crazy strong

Sending so much love take your time 💞💞

Get better soon gorgeous, sending you so much love xx

stay strong gorgeous, your doing amazing! xxxxx

Hope you feel better soon. Take your time. No stress hun

Hope you feel better soon, truly all my love 💜🌹

So much love goes to you Marie, it takes guts to upload like this, and to be so honest with not only us but yourself. We’re all very proud and hoping you nothing but the best and that you’re back on track soon. But it’s ok to have a wobble every now and then. Thinking about you x

Glad to see an update from you, kinda figured you were going THROUGH IT after a couple of your tweets haha. Hope you start feeling better!

Oh No💔😔 i hope your okay, but it will get better💖 pls stay strong we are here for u💖

Stay strong Marie ❤️❤️ you’re not alone, I feel all wrong too atm but things will get better we can do this 💖

I love you. I wish I could speak to you like regularly cuz ur so calming for me.

I love you, I hope everything gets so much better for you💗

A visual representation of my mental state for the past 3 and a half years lmfao. I love you tho and your videos help me a lot ♥️

Honestly feel the exact same way, but we will get through this together. We all care about you and love you so much❤️

I get you sooo much and you can get through this I love you ❤️💕😘

you know what is important. To understand that the power you possess over other people isn't healthy. It's like, i can beat up anyone, but i still don't do it, you know. It's like you are using you issues to manipulate people around you, perhaps not anymore, but at certain points you might or you go to the other end and you want to disappear so nobody would need to deal with you. You are not a problem and you will never be a problem. This world is crazy and people are even worse. anyway, all that what i said don't really matter, what matters is that you understand what i am saying here: You don't have any power, because when you use it, everything goes the wrong way. Keep you identity strong, keep your mind clear, learn how to bend the corners, learn how to not react on negativity, meaning, rise above but do not abuse, don't use your dominant positions, and when you are being dominated understand that they got issues too, they are not all intelligent and so on, life time of lesions are there, control your desire to fight, defend yourself, but give people a way out of your squares, oppositions and all that shit, give people a chance and time to adjust themselves to whatever environment and you do the same and if they don't, if things don't work out, fuck it, there are 8 billion people out in the world, you can always find better ones. but don't be too edge and bladeish, don't cut everyone off, they are not a baggage, they can carry themselves, same as you.. give people time to make things right inside and outside their lives

Literally going through this since September too! Medication been changed too antipsychotics and sleeping tablets wahhhhhhh! Love you chicka, take your time and focus on your wellbeing ❤️

Hope you get out of it soon, you’ve already come so far, I’m sorry you’re still feeling like this but you’ve got through it before and I’m sure you will again

sorry to hear you’re feeling like this :( love you!!!

I love u♡ thank u for filming, but I think you should just take care of yourself, and worry abt filming later. ( you have told that the bpd diagnosis is not right, so have you thought abt bipolar?)

Keep strong beautiful xxx

take care of yourself m'love, thinking of you

all I know is that I love your laugh. I want you to laugh all the time. it just made my day...