If anyone sees this, please jump into recovery now. I realized yesterday that I've been starving for half my life 😖 I was diagnosed with anorexia when I was 17 and now I'm 34. That's half my life. That is the single most depressing realization that I've ever come to. What a waste. Don't be like me. Jump into recovery. Elzani is so brave, someone like me can really appreciate how brave she is, I was never brave enough 🥺
It is never too late to recover! Choose life and choose to love and nourish your body and mind. You deserve to finally be free, enjoy food, and have peace of mind. Sending you much love and encouragement. ❤️
@@lalalaAli you’re welcome! I am in my 30s, as well, and have been in and out of inpatient recovery over the last 23 years. I recently found Tabitha Farrar’s channel, and she has helped me a lot. She focuses on recovery for adults and older people who are struggling with eating disorders. I highly recommend her channel. She has helped me want to attempt recovery for a final time and finally be free from this hell. I really believe recovery is possible at any age. Please never give up; you’re worthy of love, joy, peace, and compassion- free from any and all mental prisons. ❤️
@@jewelsbarbie oh yes she has absolutely given me hope! I've learned more from her than I ever did in hospital or in therapy. Sad that it took finding a youtuber to give the help that the "professionals" can't! Best of luck to you friend, you deserve to be free ❤️ xxx
@@lalalaAli I got anorexia when I was 14 and now I’m 28, also half my life 😢why is it so hard to take the leap and start? Guess I’m also not brave enough despite thus Video is making me do sad realising how much I’ve been missing out both on experiences and, even sadder, on connections with people 🥺
I think we all have challenges in life. You didn't choose to become ill, it was part of your journey, you've grown so much as a person because of it - try not to beat yourself up about years "wasted" . Going through an ED and then fully recovering is an epic journey & you've gone on to shine the light for countless others who are struggling. That is not a waste of a life.
Totally agree with you! Definitely not years wasted at all and the fact that at only 24, so many people look up to her and get inspiration from her. So definitely no time has been wasted.
I third that!!!! :-) Elzani you are a gladiator as far as fighting eating disorders and anorexia go. And anybody else out there who has taken inspiration from this young lady and has chosen to to battle with their eating disorders and associated mental/physical traumas; you are all brave warriors! I only wish I had as much courage as Elzani and all of you brave fighters. At 54 years of age I am still entrenched in struggles. Huge hugs to you all.
Very well said👏👏👏and I'm sure countless others will agree with that. Anyone who has been through been through such trials (and tribulations), and has had the strength of character to come through it, and go on to succeed, should be applauded 👏👏👏
elzani, you are the most amazing, kind, beautiful person I know. you saved me, so thank you. I genuinely don't know where I would be if I hadn't found you. sending so much love xxx
We all need to remember that eating disorders are not about food. Its a coping mechanism for inner turmoil. Ive been anorexic since i was 12yr. Ive had moments of living my best life, but many relapses. I am now in my early 40s. You truly are amazing. Having such a supportive family is key in staying well. X
It gives me an odd sort of comfort to know that at 40 myself, I'm not alone in the fight. However, it saddens me to know that it has been a 30 year battle with Ana and Mia. I'm doing pretty well lately, but it's always there, lurking around. Anyway, just keep fighting that bitch! You are worth it!
That’s generally good advice, I think. I used to get hung up on thinking I wouldn’t want myself as a friend, but now I realize that, in a sense, it doesn’t matter whether I like who I am. I have to work with myself to get anywhere. This way of acting gets better results. It only makes sense.
I cried at this while eating my night snack... This gives me more hope than I can even explain. Anorexia is such a hard battle and recovery feels impossible for me, but knowing you did it and seeing what can be on the other side of this illness gives me such courage to put one foot in front of the other. Thank you so much. x
You are amazing!! You proved everyone wrong!! People would always comment that your family was too soft on you and you were never gonna recover at the rate you were going. But that's not true...tough love isn't always the answer. Your family was persistently patient and supportive...and you genuinely NEVER gave up. Even it it took a while (and not even that long compared to so many people who tragically get stuck in this terrible disorder), you are one of the greatest recovery stories i've ever seen. Well done!!! You are a true inspiration. And you mom is AWESOME!!!!!
Okay Elzani. You made me cry. I’m in a horrible place within myself right now but seeing this video gave me such a strong feeling again. Be proud of yourself, I’ll promise I’m gonna do the same.
You and your videos are truly inspirational. I was trapped and still trying to find myself out of multiple eating disorders. I’m far from what I was but I still struggle daily. Your videos were help to me getting out of my eating disorder, knowing the happiness out of feeling miserable. When you feel trapped within this disorder feeling like there was no way out.. you proved that wrong. Knowing there was this happiness and I was going to be ok. Thank you ❤️
Elzani! Thank you for reminding me that life is more than being sick. That the only way to truly live is by getting better. It's time to stop wasting life by denying myself food. That's so pointless. Thank you for being so inspiring and for showing me what life is truly about. THANK YOU🌸💛
I just had one of the biggest recovery moments! I was feeling hungry after lunch and I started getting binge urges. I knew I needed to eat something but I didn't want to binge. And so I listened to my hunger, got a snack, and didn't binge on food. I feel so good rn and I'm so proud of myself! I've always had a hard time listening to my hunger especially when I feel like binging so this was a huge win for me. I just wanted to share with someone. Also, Elzani you are one of my biggest inspirations ever. If you are ever having a bad day, remember that you have impacted my life for the better and are helping me and so many other people. Stay safe
I’ve been struggling with an ed that no one knows about since I was 12. I’m turning 17 this year and I am determined to change. Your videos truly help me so much! And you’ve made me realise that it’s okay to eat what you want. Thankyou sm!!
I never realised there was this account. I was so worried having seen no uploads on the other once since last year but after seeing this, I’m literally so happy. Your happiness is so apparent!
You’re such an inspiration to so many people, Elzani. I hope you know that you bring peace and joy to so many of us that suffer like you have, and it helps so much. During a time of such extreme isolation, thank you for sharing your beautiful family with me. I love you so dearly.💕
Hi, i came back about a year without watching you and i'm so happy and proud of you. I've been watching you since you started your journey. I think you had about 6 t. subs. So i watched every video and remembering all theses videos and your cries, pain, fighting it's just feels like all of that just happened yesterday. It's making me emotional 😪 I remember feeling everything you were going trough i felt like you were my friend and you helped me aswell. I'm so happy i found your chanel. So yeah that was wild journey. Now you're glowing ELZANI! well you always were glowing with kindness. I will always remember you. I wish you the best🤗
I love how you include your family in your videos Elzani. It makes us feel like we are a part of your family. I can see so much love there and support and you are all beautiful including your adorable doggie. You keep going on your journey and just know you are inspiring so many people on the way!
if you ever wonder, what you want to to as a profession in life---motivational coach is definately something you are good at!!! Thank you for this video...will definately watch it again, when I am not so closed in for more motivation=)Thank you
You are so lucky to have such an amazing and supportive family, live in such an amazing house and live in such an amazing and beautiful part of the country. I had terrible eating disorder in the 80s and received terrible treatment and was not helped by my family.......years on, I still struggle alone.
It’s never to late to make changes, I’m in my 40s and also still struggle with ed but I still hang on to hope that things will gradually get better xxx
Marie - I agree. i’m in my 30s and have been through hell my whole life. none stop trauma and addiction and watching my brothers and my parents drop dead one by one. all my family are dead including my parents. my mum died 3 months ago and I single handedly cared for her in her final weeks and watched her die - all by myself. Elzani is very very lucky to have the support she does. Some of us have nobody and it is so damn lonely.
You are so amazing with putting feelings into words, have you ever thought about writing a book? I would definetly buy it and i think others would too!!! I'm so proud of you.
I finally understand this. I never saw myself as someone who could recover. I was so ill I couldn't see what I was missing. Now everything is just amazing. Thank you Elzani for being my proof that I CAN recover, it is possible and life can be so bloody amazing❤
Hearing those words at the end made me finally burst out crying. I’ve been struggling so much with restriction and my relationship with food and exercise and after a couple doctor’s visits and seeing how worried yet supportive my mom was, I wanted to get better.. and I think I still do but it’s so hard when the Ed thoughts still run through my mind every once in a while. I WANT to get my life back, I want back my freedom and happiness, but those thoughts creep back into my mind every once in a while and it’s just so challenging.. thank you for making this video and for encouraging all of us. I’m so happy to see how happy you are and it’s so good to see that recovery is absolutely worth it
This entire film is so beautiful, it made me cry. When I think about all the things my eating disorder stole from me, it makes so mad, but at the same time it’s so hard to let go completely. Thank you for an amazing film Elzani
I’ve never commented on a RU-vid video before but I just needed to tell you how amazing this video was! I truly hope this helps people (including me) and allows people to realise life is about so much more than the way you look . Thank you so much for this - I really needed to hear this. Keep going - you’ve got this! You are inspirational. You should be so so proud of yourself xx
Elzani, I am so deeply touched by this video. Your editing is brilliant (I see you "square" candy bar and song lyric synch), the storytelling is deeply moving, and your narrative writing is just perfect. You are so, so talented at this! Not only at life and being willing and strong and stalwart enough to take on your biggest demon (I see you here too, I did it myself); but at creating positive, beautiful, inspirational videos that shake even the most recovered (i.e., me) people back into dedication to their journey, even when they had no clear idea that their dedication had waned. Thank you so much for all that you post, all that you do, and all that you are. You are absolutely INCREDIBLE.
You always manage to completely change my mindset with your videos. Thank you for everything Elzani, you truly are incredible. You’ve helped me more than you’ll ever know💞💞💞💞💞💞
This was so well said! I struggle with anxiety (it sounds like you might too?) and it is so hard not to jump to worrying about the next thing as soon as you get over the first. But for what it’s worth, it sounds like worrying about living in the moment is a huge step up from constantly worrying about food! It’s all about baby steps in the right direction ❤️
Elzani, I so want to believe that all you say also applies to me. I’m 54 years old, and have had anorexia for about 8 years. I am weight restored, but am totally hampered by an anorexic mindset. Still restrict, still don’t allow myself all those things that I truly want to eat. So worried that the recovery I see by all the young girls simply won’t apply to my mature body, that I’ll just be fat instead. I drive myself crazy by constantly taking small bites of all the foods that I would love to eat, but never ever eating the whole thing. So I remain plagued by food thoughts all the time. What would you say, or advise? I would really value your opinion, because I love watching your blogs, thankyou so much x
I am in the middle of an eating disorder and I am 50 years old. I can’t any help because my BMI is too high. It’s 21 so not massive but not low enough.
Hi I'm 53 been anorexic since 12 but had a good remission bringing my daughter up my advice to you is to look at elisa intuitive eating or tabitha farrier or megsy recovery they got me on the road to recovery as its not about food it's about much more
How are you doing now? I'm 50 & had my ED for only 3 years and I'm now 13wks in to a kind of recovery. My bmi is ok now but similar to you I eat tiny bits of food I want but chuck the rest in the bin. I tell myself a taste of something is better than not trying it. My body might be ok but my mind/mental health is lagging behind and needs a lot of healing x
elzani, i am so grateful you did this. i completly relate to this. ive been reflecting for sometime whether i can cope with a little bit of gain but mainly i want to run so far away from my disordered thoughts and behaviours that are making my self -hate worse and life not worth living. i want to live life, not just being in this life but living it to the full. i was really encouraged by this and as i said its really made me reflect about which direction i want to go in. youve come such a long way.
I’m going through the hardest time of my life with my eating disorder and my mental health. Your story has always helped me, but this video has me absolutely sobbing. I can’t wait for the day I can truly live in the moment and enjoy my life. So much love to you and your family Elzani! You inspire me to stay strong ❤️
Seeing you get better has brought so much joy to my life. Thank you for documenting and sharing your journey with us. Please don’t feel like you’ve wasted time, the sun wouldn’t seem as bright if we didn’t experience the darkness of night 💕
this is probably your best video ever. it genuinely made me cry a lot. thank you thank you thank you so much for showing how amazing life can be and for making me believe that there's still hope things can be better. I loved every single word you said which made me realise even more that I'm not alone in this and that recovery, with all the pain, all the effort, can be worth it. LIFE can be worth it. you're really so inspiring. hope you keep living your best life, lots of love. xx
reading the title makes me so sad, i’m so glad you chose recovery and changed your outlook on life. never forget how wonderful you are- you deserve the best always! 💗
Elzani I think this is my favourite video of yours yet!! So many important messages with such important meanings, that I’m sure will help a lot of people (including myself!!). I feel so inspired now, thank you :)
You bring proud and happy tears to my eyes with every video. You are truly a force to be reckoned with in this world, and more people need to hear and feel your positive inspirations.💕
Just remember Elzani, NO ONE is perfect, and you don't need to feel guilty for not doing everything exactly right. I think excercise and weight lifting could be a very good way for you to relieve anxiety and stress. When we exercise our brains release endorphins, which lifts our mood in a natural and healthy way. A strong healthy body helps for a strong healthy mind. I think you're ready now to do it without fear of overdoing it. I'm very proud of the good choices you're continue to make for yourself. Much love ❤
You made me cry, a realizing happy cry, thank you for being you. You are amazing, you helped me get out of my deepest times and get motivation for living again. You are unbelievable amazing.
Elzani, you are such a wonderful and precious person! you took your life back and you keep fighting. you are such a huge inspiration! don't ever forget how amazing you are! I am proud of you and I thank you for your valuable words! Stay as you are. A lot of love to you!🤍🤍🤍
I could watch this all day long. You are truly such an amazing person , one in a million and you should be protected at all costs✨ honestly warms my heart seeing you become more yourself again, you are beyond amazing 💛
She is such an amazing person, I am struggling with my eating disorder since almost 6 years. Everytime I am feeling weak and not strong enough, her content makes me trust myself again. Elzani you're such an powerful and motivating person. Keep going, you're helping a lot of people with you're doings ❤️
How did you decide that it was time that you could exercise again? Also, do you have a workout plan? Or do you just listen to your intuition? Oh and another question, how long after you started recovery did you decide that you were ready for it?
I literally didn’t exercise for about 4 years! Only started the last few months. I think you need to stop completely in recovery until you fuel yourself enough and are a “healthy” 🙄 weight etc. I think it’s vital to stop exercise for quite a while
@@elzanisingleton Thank you sooo much for the answer! I'm currently in recovery and deal with compulsive exercising. I also have amenorrhea even though theoretically I am at a "healthy" weight... Figured that I had to challenge myself even more and take it easier on myself. But I will probably return to it when I will be mentally ready. So I was curious about your experience😊
Thank you for this beautiful reminder Elzani, you honestly have no idea how much you’ve helped me, and so many others to find the freedom we lost somewhere along the way, to keep fighting and to just smile. Thankyou for everything you do, you have such a beautiful effect on so many people out there, and we will be here to catch you and lift you up right back if you ever need it. Sending so much love xx
Elzani... I love you so much and I love your videos so much...you need to keep on sharing these. I am older, could be your Mom but you are wise beyond your years...you share your thought so eloquently... I think the same things you think, i have thought these things for decades. But as you say...learn to LIVE in the moment You have such a loving heart, and a loving and beautiful family Watching your videos brings me so much peace and calm... THANK YOU for keeping this RU-vid channel and thank you for ALL you create and share.... and remember YOU ARE beautiful, inside and out! xoxo 💗💗💗💗
As someone twice your age - let me tell you that 20 years from now you won't even remember much about being stuck in your head in your 20s. Life gets so much more full (i.e. responsibilities!) that you just naturally stop obsessing on every inconsequential thing). And that is really the key - STAY BUSY! It's natural to feel the way you do at your age, but (your mother will probably agree with me), the things you think about and find important change dramatically as you get older (i.e. older than 35!). Just keep moving forward and you will be better (the best that you, or anyone of us can be) every day. You are doing great! xoxo
elzani, you opened my eyes. you make realize that restriction is not the way. that life is worth it. that i have to appreciate the little things around me. that every new day is not obvious. that it is a gift. a very beautiful and precious gift. thank you so much. you are the strongest girl i know. thank you🤍
This video is making me so emotional. I love that you told this story that could fit in with lots of people's stories. Your so inspiring... and girl if you ever brought out a cook book I'd be right in front of que! All your food looks fab and like you say Balanced! Its all about balance xx
Elzani! I haven't watched your youtube videos in a year or so, and today you popped onto my recommended.... it's amazing the progress you have made, you seem so much more content! I am very proud of you, and you should be too xx
Such a precious video that’ll help and inspire so many...me included! I’m old enough to be your mum but got caught up in this dreaded illness(again!) after I think, a trigger of losing my Dad last year as well as about to lose my Stepmum. To say it’s been shit is an understatement but determined to fight and get through this once and for all! My poor kids(who don’t live with me now) are desperately worried as are my friends. Currently waiting for professional help and just hope I make it in time...I sooo want LIFE! ❤️💗
Im currently in recovery from my ed, and ive got to say,, ur channel n recent uploads have been such inspirations im so grateful for ur existence n ur family is just AMAZING love the bond, the vibes etc
I dont wanna sleep coz im scared of myself. My brain tells me to restrict, but im scared i will fail. Then: Binge. Vomit. Cry. Im such a failure. No one understands. Im all alone. I feel like life is better if i dont eat
Yoy feel like this because you don't eat. Think back to q time when you did eat normally. You were happy. Your eating disorder lies. Anorexia will only ever want you dead.
You are NOT a failure. Eating disorders are extremely difficult to contend with. Whether we give into the demands of an eating disorder or challenge it, neither is easy so you are STRONG to be going through this. Never give up. Fight the ED....Your life has so much to offer. The ED will NEVER bring your life anything positive or joyful, but it will drain you. It will traumatised whether you do as it says, or dont. No winning. Its EXTREMELY DIFFICULT BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE. IT WONT HAPPEN OVERNIGHT BUT PLEASE TRY TO CHALLENGE THE EVIL ED....small steps are better than no steps. Once u challenge, those small steps will lead you to a better life and recovery. Watch Elzanis videos from years back and her transition. She struggled. There were tears. But she persevered. And finally is getting there...slowly but surely. You are only human. "ROME WASNT BUILT IN A DAY".... plse fight on....
Don’t lose yourself in this disorder. It will kill you. We only live once. We could die tomorrow having not lived because we’ve allowed stupid things to hold us back. Live as if it’s your last day.
You are helping me so so much following your journey. Please know how much of an absolute inspiration you are. Your family and you are lovely. Sure as much you appreciate and love your family, they must be so so proud of you. You can see the absolute love you all share. Thank you again xxx
This video is beautiful Elzani and it shows how beautiful your heart is and how much you truly love your family and your life. Having watched where you were to the full life you're living now brings tears to my eyes. I've struggled with an ED before too and know how badly it sucks the life out of you, but like you I am enjoying life and loving it too. Your videos have been a blessing to me and many others I'm sure. Keep going, keep living, and keep loving. You're a beautiful soul
Love you Elzani! You are one of the most precious humans. Thank you for sharing your magic with the world. I really needed to hear these words tonight xx
Been following your channel for a while,And you really are an inspiration to so many,Not just to the ones who have suffered the you have suffered in the past! You seem a lovely family And without wanting to sound patronising You should feel proud of what you have achieved over the last few years! All the very best to you!
That's so beautiful, I love this video...it sooo heart felt, heart warming...I definitely understand all the things your saying completely. I also often think about the times I've lost and can loose if I continue with what I'm doing/struggling with...I feel regret, fear, frustration, sadness, numbness, loneliness, and even feelings of confusion...which related to what you also mention about wanting to remember the moment you have already spent but have forgotten/passed because of the mere thoughts of wanting food/avoiding food/obsessing over my weight/avoiding people/worried about my anxiety... etc...at all cost. It's lovely and soooo inspiring to hear you say these things because I don't feel alone, I feel understood, I feel relatable, and like I can try to get through it by not being soo harsh on myself. You make things happen now, you are living your life, being the person you would rather be, the best version of yourself.🥊🤸🖤😎🥰🕊️🏋️and another best part is that you admit that you love food, you are enjoying it, you think it taste great, or you believe that you might hate this and you try it and like it...your honest basically. Your actually "the real" Elzani now. I love that you show your true self. Soo vavasious, sassy, hilarious/silly, talented, creative and more. I love your attitude on life. I'm telling you, I admire you sooo much because your soo like me...sry if that sounds weird but I see you and I'm like oooh lol! It's awesome that you eat what you want now, your take better care of your body and mind now. I often see you smile more now because you did what you had to do which was eat loads, rest and basically respect yourself. I love that!!! (tear) it's beautiful to watch and read on your instagram. I love to comment on all your post because of all the things I've said and in the past. You are i-n-c-r-e-d-i-b-l-e. It's soo inspiring that you cook more now but you still allow yourself takeout and all the other good bits like cookies and candies that most people seem as "bad" or "unhealthy." I love love love that you show us your creation and combos of all the lovely food you have/eat now like pancakes 🥞 you made here, wraps, pizzas, cookies, brownies, lasagna, katsu curry, your mom's rice, fish and chips, fish sandwiches, bagels with different spreads, burritos, guac!!!, Chocolate, eggs, milk, cereals, porridges, baked oates, french toast, toasties, cakes, licking the spoons or casseroles...and much more... And the fact that it's ok to eat them, to eat them all, whether you need to gain weight or not. 🖤🥊👌😊also, being for being honest about using excuses of what you did and said to avoid eating because of weight gain and discomfort. Definitely can relate. I appreciate and feel soo happy and connected to you because you also show what you enjoy now...your show your love ones often in your videos, not just because we are in quarantine but because you love appreciate, and respect them like your lovely, supportive amazing Mum, your talented beautiful sisters, your strong cool Dad, aaawww...your adorable supportive Blaze and your lovely supportive funny grandparents. I get soo happy to see them not just you and your happy lovely smiles tehehehe...😏😌 They also bring me joy and the fact that you like to spend like with them is soooo inspiring and very lucky of you.👍😎 I love too, that you do a lot more stuff now. You play, you sing, you laugh, you dance, healthly exercise, cook, play the guitar, wrap gifts👏go shopping even for yourself, try new things like clothes...it's amazing to see, truly. Omg! I'm sry this is soo long but it's inspiring, it's sooo true, I admire you, I have sooo much to say but it's haard to do it here lol 🖤 I love you Elzani you are my higher power, my "friend" in a way lol, someone I strongly admire/look up to, and yea....my saveyer. Thank you for your strong/powerful lovely words, the Incredible advice, and sharing your experiences🖤🤸🥞🥣🕊️🏋️👏😎🥊😊🎂🐾🥯💕🍫💖🍬💪🏋️👩🍳💃⛱️🦋🍎🍓🍊🍅🍠🌽🥦🥑🥒🍞🥜🌰🥔🥐🍳🧀🍔🥪🥨🍟🍕🌯🥙🍝🍛🥡🍣🍨🍦🍰🧁🍩🍪🍿☕🍵🥛🚗🏡🌄🎁🎄📸🎶🎸🎤🎥📺🛍️🛒🛋️👑🆒🆓☮️☯️ go for it!!!
This hit home! You have such a wise head on young shoulders. I'm 28 years old and wishing I could spend more time with my mum ❤ don't waste a moment with anyone or spend too long angry at anyone xx
Thank you so much for this- I am half way through but its already helped me so much. You should be so proud of yourself for inspiring so many. Not only in terms of recovery but just the incredible person YOU are and everything you are doing which is making the world a better place to live in! Xxx
I don't know if you realize the impact you have on people, you are seriously one of the most inspirational people I have ever come across in my life, and you give me so much hope, thank you so much
Great video. I also cant stop worrying and cant stop thinking about a lot of things. Solly stupid things nobody cates about but cant shut it off up there, So annoying. Hope you can find a way and help others If you do.
thanks Elzani for this great video! 💕 I understand what you say so well .. when I was a child everything was so easy, nothing was thought twice and the food was enjoyed, it was a life full of lightness and joy and happiness about the little things like mom's lasagne. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us and thank you for being there, you are such a great, beautiful and strong woman.
We all fall down, it’s how we rise that matters!!!Anorexia is a life long illness, even if we do recover..the anorexic voice inside of us never leaves, always makes us doubt our worthiness, our choices, it will always be a part of us and we need to find peace with that. There is no perfect life. Elzani you didn’t just rise, you soared my friend. From the start I mentioned getting out there and finding your true purpose in life, enrolling in short courses, pursuing a passion/career away from the focus of food. It might help!?!?! I love your food vlogs, what I eat in a day vlogs, but it’s still all centred around food!!! Is this a good thing? Happy to hear what others think.
Such a powerful video.... I wrote about my fight and my family are not ready to read it yet... I understand it and am proud of where I have come but still need to push towards full recovery I am close. Your honesty and video xx well done