I'm Done w/ Gear Videos & Reviews 

Thank you for all the supportive words. A few things I probably could have expanded on: - I am very much open to the idea of making videos with new gear if I'm not speaking in them. The problem is that few companies would want this and it's RU-vid algorithm poison. - I should've emphasized this better: No part of me feels like I'm "giving into the trolls" or "letting trolls win". Those who do value this channel will just see more inspiring and educational content, those who exist solely in the geartube community will see one less face on the weekly treadmill of content. - I have no ill feelings towards Polyend, or really anyone in-particular here. When I explain these things to someone who isn't part of this space, I probably sound like Brad Pitt from 12 Monkeys. It's the same ridiculous controversy with the company name changed every few weeks and for some reason I unintentionally volunteered to be the spokesperson for it. - I've managed to make some of the most viewed gear content on this platform this year and lose money in the process. I started an NPO that is bound by law to make all transactions public at the end of the year. I routinely disclosed my friendships and biases. If THAT is considered "shilling", I simply cannot offer more. This already wasn't sustainable. - Finally, in my position, spending money on gear was actually more problematic than receiving or borrowing a prototype because confirmation bias is MUCH stronger, and nobody is immune to it. I will take a bullet for something I spent $400 on while having no emotion at all regarding something that showed up for free.

"Social media made y'all way too comfortable with disrespecting people and not getting punched in the face for it." - Mike Tyson

I was part of the design team of PolyBrute at Arturia. This was a long development and these always come with their share of frustrations, emotional rollercoasters and so on. You can't imagine how happy and proud I was when I watched your review of PolyBrute.. and for that I am grateful. It pushed me to try and make better instruments. Whatever comes next on this channel will most certainly be great and hopefully will make you a happier person :)

i was a bedroom guitarist / hobbyist for the last 20 years. I had easily 30k in music equipment. i was very entrenched in the youtube culture, following companies release dates and buying and selling gear constantly. I got divorced earlier in the year .. and finally joined a band. Started actually going out with others to play and make music.. I realized 90% of my gear was a waste and pointless. I sold almost all of it . I now look at most of the gear channels for what they are, not entertainment, but commercials to try to push products on you.

I felt the same way about working in the motion picture industry. It was toxic af for me personally, and one day I just looked to an intern and said… hey buddy, come here. I then asked him, do you wanna be on the camera crew and take this free tool belt with all my tools. It’s your’s kid. Make them proud lol. He was shocked, and thought I was playing a prank on him. It was the last day of shooting and I just grabbed my cloths and my coffee maker and walked off into the sunset. Haven’t looked back since. Cheers to all them film crew’s out there, but it’s just not for me. Not cut out for it. So now I just play my synths, samplers, and instruments for my self only. Do a little photography too. Either way, I don’t find a lot of joy in the career side of creative endeavors. Work as a horticulturalist and I’m happy. So this video makes sense to me.

I don’t blame you for making this move, man. While you may not want toxic optimism right now I have a feeling that dropping this and focusing on your documentary and other things that excite you will be a huge breakthrough for you and the channel. Onwards and upwards.

I am, in fact, one of those people going "aw." I'm sorry this content stopped being fun to make, and hope it frees you up to do more of the stuff you do enjoy making! More crazy audio science stuff would be super rad, and I know you're really passionate about those ideas when you get them!

Oddly enough (and maybe selfishly) I’m sort of happy you made this choice. I feel like it’s a rare public acknowledgement of what the online experience is turning into I don’t think I’ve heard any “big names” just come out and go: this is no longer manageable or enjoyable. And I think it’s a good thing that that is now happening because I bet most of us have been feeling these toxic vibes just get out of hand as time goes on Much respect, and be well

dude - its not just the synth community - its the pretty much most of the world, but more so online for obvious reasons. Still, I love you man, i love watching your videos, and I love your voice! plus you are a super bright human being.. so please feel that. Pete xx

My son wrote and recorded his first single earlier this year. At the age of ten. You’d be amazed how many human beings take time out of their day to leave hateful comments on the music video of a TEN YEAR OLD boy taking his first steps into being an artist. It’s a full time job for me to monitor and delete the trolls. Humanity is disgusting.

Christ, you can't even take a sweatshirt off without someone assuming you're doing it to manipulate them. You're a great guy and I love your content! Thank you for everything you do!

Jesus Christ man, i had no idea you had to deal with this kind of bs -- I'd naively imagined the worst of it (i.e. threats of doxxing/hacking) was reserved for the biggest and more recognizable channels/names. Hope youre doing okay mentally, i love nearly *all* the content and music you've produced. You're an exceptionally talented musician and an intelligent, elequent and witty speaker, whose voice is surely valued in the RU-vid Music Sphere!

There is something about that one video you made with the polybrute that really made me start making music again. It was a great showcase of the board and I think you had mentioned spending so long in the flow that you experienced the sunrise. This is what the other reviewers don't do that makes it a special experience coming from you. I'm hoping to still be able to watch in on your musical/personal journeys no matter what you make videos about.

Happy to see creators recognising these things more and more instead of completely burning out to 0. You have to love what you do and if you end up forcing it you'll feel horrible and it'll probably show in the content and noone wins. Huge respect for acknowledging it and going where your interest takes you, keen to see this doco when it comes out!

I have watched all of your videos for years and learned so much about modular from you. However, I don't think I ever commented and put in a good encouraging word. For that I apologize. You were there for us, but we were not there for you. You are too good and too talented to be doing this. We were all lucky that you took so much time to give your insights into music making gear, for that I thank you. On to better things! Best of luck!

you can NEVER be right... you are so on point about this... if you REVIEW and not DEMO, which is what we do, then you are a shill if you are positive. BUT if you do your job and your criticize, then the fanboys of the product say you are too critical.... what the hell do they WANT from us. This is the hardest part of this job. But you do a good job and you have to read these comments and TRY to not let them get to you.... which isn't easy in ANY way. I get it... it's my day to day.

This is why we can't have good things. I'm glad you're doing what's necessary to take care of your mental health, and I've never understood the toxicity being flung at you. You're a true Chicago gem, my man

I'm sorry you have to deal with such trash, you deserve the best and your passion is unmatched. YT comments are the epitome of degeneracy, those select few haters don't have a life so they trash talk and bring down someone that does. Take your time and please take a break for however long you need, in the end, your mental health matters most and first.

You’re a good man Benn, honest, insightful, and articulate. It’s a shame there is so much tragic toxicity out there; doubly so that you have been undeservedly subjected to it like this. I look forward to seeing you continue to follow your passion and wish you well.

Comments are easy to write, making videos that are entertaining and educational is hard - keep up the good work!

Sorry man! You seem like a great dude! You will always have my support!

Gear reviews are a dime a dozen. Your content on music industry in general is unique and valuable. That is why I follow.

When i see a video of you popping up in my playlist, i always know i am going to have a good time listening to a laidback and cool dude, who loves making music, playing around with toys and always curious to find new ways to make music. As a tv editor and musician myself, i know that good criticism is very important to grow and get better. But some people are just destructive, have no anger management and wanna see your world burn. These ppl have been around since and now the internet gives them a platform. Just saw a video yesterday with the same topic and it's quite sad because you guys put a lot of heart and time into it as well giving your opinions a name and face. I guess that's the stress test every RU-vidr has to get through. You can't satisfy everyone. Don't let it get to you and keep on exploring. Cheers Ben (In short: I just love what you do man 😀)

I’ve been in a lot of toxic online communities: fandoms, political movements, subcultures, etc. I briefly got interested in learning more about music gear and joined some groups, and wow, they truly were above and beyond the worst of all.

Benn, you are an inspiration. To know that someone, anyone, robbed you of a joy you once had for whatever reason is heartbreaking. I hope at the very least you will continue to nerd out about cool gear in a more solitary fashion, though vicariously living through that experience will be missed.

I am BEYOND excited for your documentary on The Hum! Such a fascinating subject, people don't tend to recognize noise pollution nearly enough and it lines up perfectly with your previous content about the mechanics of sound. That video about the time/sound perception of animals is an all-time RU-vid Classic.

This channel stands alone in authenticity and integrity, not to mention your personal brilliance and time saving insights. You are so valued that any effusive or categorical superlatives will absolutely pale when compared to what you give in any video on any day regarding anything at all. I watch and rewatch and learn. This gift of knowledge and application that you routinely provide to us is invaluable and has no equivalence somewhere else on this platform or any other platform. Much gratitude coming your way from the Pacific Northwest USA!

I am so grateful for your insights, both into gear and into the process of music production, composition, and business. I've learned so much from you. Thank you.

You are one of the good ones - kudos for all the work you do for us! (music is supposed to be about HARMONY not AGONY, people!)

Just found/started watching your channel recently and I’ve been drawn to it because of your ethics when it comes to music and gear. You don’t approach things like you’re trying to sell something and NO ONE does that in this kind of space. I appreciate what you do

Man this world :(, the web :( both love and hate it sometimes... Thank you for all the reviews and we support you whatever you're gonna do next! ❤

I don't really have much history commenting but I wish I vocalized my support and gratitude earlier. I wish you the best moving forward and can't wait to see what you have in store. Godspeed, Benn!

Very suspicious how he had that marker at the end and put it down... what's he hiding? /s

This is freaking awesome! I am not a musician but mostly follow you because of your exploration into other scientific, social, and business topics. And of course the ducks! 😍 Congrats on breaking free from the toxicity

"The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog." Mark Twain

I have been listening to your music for 15 years. You literaly opened a whole world before my eyes when I first discovered your musical projects. And even if I am not a musician myself, I enjoy listen to you talking about what you love, even if you feel like you're not qualified to talk about it. I wish you all the best.

i'm more of a passive watcher but now i almost feel guilty for not letting you know enough, that you videos are real fun to watch and brought lots of interesting points to my thinking about music and gear. sending lots of love man

Your video on how animals perceive us is how we met and has been a topic I was touched by in such a way that it has become a part of conversations I have with people. I am thankful for the unique videos you have brought forth through the exploration of auditory processes. I wish you the best and honestly hope continue to grow and develop your talents!

My Polyend Play arrived today. I ordered it specifically based on your videos. I think it the best creativity tool for those who are not well-versed in the ways of a groovebox. I love this thing and I am glad that somebody could give me the “straight skinny” on which Polyend model was for me. Thanks for all your videos and I wish you the best in the coming years.

I’m sorry you’ve gone through this. I started following this channel because you seem like someone I’d be friends with and will remain watching/hearing what you’re doing.

Benn, you deserve better than the toxicity. Your best vids are the science doc type of things, hope you continue making those.

awww! I have enjoyed your gear videos but my favorite thing is your out-of-the-box projects so I look forward to what's coming. I'm glad you're able to exist on RU-vid at all. I started a small channel in a space that is somehow way more toxic than synth tube and honestly the toxicity hit me so hard I quit.

I learned so much about knobs, buttons, switches, bells, and whistles, and discovered a love for synthesis from watching this channel. Thank you Benn. You are informative and inspiring.

The internet will always be a shit place filled with toxic people, focus on those that matters on here not the random strangers that hurl insults or scream at you, or spread negativity.

It makes me sad that one of the best synth RU-vidrs out there has been chased out by the noise and insanity of people who should step back, get some perspective, and chill out. I am sorry to see you stop producing gear videos. Yours were very helpful to me.

literally watching this after the Play video, which I appreciated. love your work. please don't make decisions based on youtube comments because as we all know they are a cesspool at a level that few other social networks can rival.

This is one of your most wholesome videos. I appreciate you just talking about yourself, your background, your ideas and philosophies. I want to see more of this.

I have always enjoyed your channel! I look forward to seeing what it turns into. I’ve watched the Zoia videos over and over because it really helped and inspired me to try to make more complicated patches on it. Nothing but love and positive vibes from me.

Sorry you have to deal with this stuff man, RU-vid is a lot better with you around, we’re lucky to have you

I fully get the reason you’re getting out of the review side of things. People get strangely tribal when it comes to product stacks and I don’t think it’s because of the product itself, but because they have made that part of their identity and sometimes feel like you’re attacking them. People love to say someone is a shill for something because it makes it way easier to justify why they don’t like something when it just might be as simple as “It just doesn’t work for me in the way I work on things.” Do what you need to do, but do know I’ve always liked your take on music gear as a person who is only sort of into music as a hobby and curious how working musicians view a product.

Thanks so much for your old "how to get into modular" video. It made me get a Dfam that is still the heat of my live setup and enabled me for the first time to play live music on my own. This was a moment that changed my life.

You have been a blessing in the music World. Greetings from a Long and Mcquade Canada employee... I recommend your videos to several customers every week.

We don't deserve you. Thanks Benn for your work! You're probably the most genuine and honest youtuber I know. You usually correct yourself when you notice inconsistencies in future videos, your passion is completely honest. But honestly, these sh***y people are out there and youtube unfortunately attracts "shilldetector9000ers" and cynics like any other public place.

That was me with the sweatshirt question. I apologized in the Polyend video comments, and I would like to apologize here as well. I actually think Benn is a rare beacon of integrity in this community. For some odd reason I mistakenly thought he was trying to send a religious message with the shirt thing. I know, it really seems foolish now. But I guess I was in some kind of mood. So, unfortunately, I typed before I thought. Even though Benn has proven himself time and again to be upfront and straightforward in all his messages. Anyway, I apologize to you Benn and I apologize to everyone here for adding to the vitriol. That wasn't my intent at all. But I will own it and try my best to do better. Thanks everyone.

This is the first video of yours I’ve seen, but this seems like a good, centred, decision. And coming back to the first point, you were very articulate 😂 so well done on achieving that target!

The Loopop comment was completely inappropriate, getting hate for sharing your opinions is worlds different from getting hate for supporting a genocide for your information

You stand out as a creator that puts effort into being as honest and fair as possible in whatever you do. You've got integrity and I think it shows. It's a shame you'll have to stop doing something you enjoy, but here's to other fun projects! I look forward to what comes next.

Wow, you're truly a gem. I'm so sorry that you've had to deal with this shit for so long. What a shame that a vocal minority can throw so much trash. Your transparency and honesty has always been inspirational. Stay strong ❤

Hey man, sorry for your (& our) loss! Thanks for being so honest. I always like your perspective on gear, music and music business. Don‘t stop the good work!! But it seems very healthy to stop those gear videos. All the best from germany 🙌

Always quality material, and sincerity. I REALLY enjoy (prefer, even) your more conceptual, philosophical, and documentary works. I think this ‘move’ is a great choice/fantastic fit for you. Thank you for your great work!

Thank you for all your contributions for the synth music community. Your gear videos have influenced my personal selections of gear every now and then - gear that I still hold on to as precious tools for creation. It breaks my heart to see you go but I fully understand your reasons. Take care Benn, looking forward to seeing the documentary and all the other videos you make in the future! ✌

Your genuine being has always shown through so clearly in the almost two decades I've followed your work. Your authenticity and passion is truly so inspiring. No matter what you do I'm sure it will be great.

I’m sorry that you’ve had to deal with all this Benn. Your passion always resonate with me with what you do. Abrazos, from your Honduran Friend, now in ATL.

Thank you for all you've done. I, for one, have really appreciated the passion and energy you've put into your reviews, and found them very helpful. That's it; that's the feedback. Looking forward to your straggler reverb pedal reviews, especially if one of them is the Mercury X and I can bask in a little validation on that one :D

Your run doing this was valuable and impactful. All the love man and we all rock with you with whatever you choose to do or not do 💜

Benn, your content is always top quality. Your opinion and insight are valued. Thanks for sharing the journey. Peace

What got me into your channel was your gear reviews. I loved the honesty about it all and your pros and cons and showing how you use it. That being said. I love your other videos too. All power to you. Tha KS for your transparency and motives. Can't wait to see what comes in the future man. Keep on keeping on.

Sorry about your experience. I've enjoyed all of your videos that I have watched. Looking forward to your upcoming projects.

I’m one of those who heard this and thought “awwww”. I enjoy all your videos, even the gear ones. And you’ve learned to string a sentence together pretty well! RU-vid is going to be a little bit lesser of a place now without your thoughts on new gear.

Man, that was gut-wrenching. I love your channel, I love The Flashbulb and I hope to see and hear more of both in the future.

This is sad news man, I'm sorry you've had to go through all this. Im sure you're going to have an amazing next chapter in whatever you do creatively.

Always appreciate the content you put out- probably my favorite channel on RU-vid. I'll miss the gear videos but definitely understand your reasoning behind not making them anymore, especially since I'd imagine it takes a massive amount of emotional bandwidth to take on all of the other topics you're passionate about.

Thank you for all you’ve done, Benn. I can’t explain in words, how much joy and information I have received from you. I appreciate everything you’ve done. I loved your recent piece on arrangers. That was fantastic!! Best of luck in the future.

I’ve been watching your videos for years! The first time I remembering seeing you interacting with people online was on Reddit with the Synthrotek misery where you talked about offering to pay to rebrand gearslutz. I have always appreciated you pushing for a less divisive world we can all make art in. I will miss your gear videos. But, I hope to see more science and adventure videos (you and Cameron in the cave is one of my favorite videos in the last year or so). Please be well!

All the support and encouragement to you man, thanks for all that you’ve done, I’ve gained quite a lot from your insights

Im sorry you had such a rough experience. I really enjoy your content and your reviews are very helpful. Thank You for the work you have done thus far! Do what you love and most of all forget them haters!!

I feel you Benn. You're not alone. I had to get out of all my synth subreddits because they've become toxic cesspools of negativity and trolls. I joined them to meet like-minded people and have a good time, but it's like it's gotten too big or something. I'm sorry this has been your experience as well. I hope you get what you need from ditching the toxicity. Luckily, we can all just turn off and disappear into our studios.

You’ve always been good in my book. I am one of those 29 people out of 30 that are absolutely fine with all of the endeavors you undertake. Lovely stuff. I’ve always thought that you are a fun and down to earth generally smart guy and will definitely support one day in my other YT channel and would love to see any live performances that you are involved in if I ever make it back out to the states.

I’m glad you were able to share this and get it off your chest. Good luck!!! I’ve always enjoyed watching everything you’ve posted because you’re smarter than most clearly care about what you say and do.

It’s hard to find a RU-vidr that isn’t pushing gear. I’ll be watching your channel. You have my vote!

Some people suck, your work is consistently great regardless of the focus and while I’m one of those in the “aww” camp, I’m so excited for what’s next!

One of the things that is cool about your videos is how creative they are. You can and will do that with whatever videos you choose to do.

Much respect. I am one of the 29/30 and while this is a loss, I am glad you are only working on stuff that you care about. Your enthusiasm is palpable and one of the many ingredients that make your content so good.

Benn, your curiosity, enthusiasm, thoroughness and transparency have been an inspiration to me since i discovered your channel. Love your work!

I honestly am sad to see the gear reviews go, but im glad you’re doing what’s good for your own mental health. Excited to see what’s coming next!

Hey man! I'm usually not into commenting anything online at all but this really really touched me. And now I feel the urge to comment something positive about and FOR you to enlarge the Counterweight to all the toxic stuff. I love the way you speak, your sense of humour and how you narrate through your videos. Your Personality is what got me kind of hooked to your videos and I feel like i always got inspired by your stories although it never really got me to do more stuff but that's completely my responsibility. I'm not that deep into synths or consider myself a "member of the club" but I am a passionate Musician and I happily used your Gear-Reviews (and probably will use your other content) to tell myself that I'm doing Research and trick myself into Procrastination. But THE MOST IMPORTANT THING is that you SPEAK OUT and you show a way of DEALING WITH THAT STUFF (even though it's not an easy step and it's sad). You show us and explain to us why you quit this and i thank you for that and I hope others who have to deal with those kinds of toxicity get encouraged to do so aswell! It is still sad that you have to recline from that space but I'm shure you will find a way to share your passion and knowledge about stuff to those who are able and willing to appreciate what you do! Only those people derserve it. Keep it up man! And stay save!

I fell in love with old synth sounds few years back and found your channel when rummaging around for new synth and other instrument videos on RU-vid. Then saw your other videos about the industry as a whole and your thoughts on it. Your videos have brought much enjoyment and perspective to my views and thoughts on the industry. I'm happy to see you know where to put the line in the sand in a way and follow your instinct on what to put out in the world and what's not just worth it. Can't wait to see more inpspiring and educational content going forward!

Just to share a couple of good memories: I learned about your music through a Groupees bundle, which was a considerable bargain. Later, someone who I have every reason to believe was you found me struggling with a DAW on Reddit, then gave some incredibly helpful advice. I hope that whatever comes next brings good experiences back to you. Good luck, and thank you.

I think we’re all exhausted from gear and things being constantly sold to us when trying to learn production tricks. I don’t blame ya.

Literally the most sincere, interesting, mind-bendingly creative RU-vidr in the space, and this is the fucking guy they bully into submission? The internet is a fucking cesspool.

Thanks for all the increíble videos you’ve given us. Nothing but love for you and your channel. As far as your art and output are concerned, you’re a wonderful man ❤

Your short doco / deep dives are priceless, so please keep doing those!

The internet has become absolutely riddled with dickheads who think that, instead of just clicking away from something they don't enjoy, they NEED to leave a stupid comment behind. Sorry you've fallen prey to them. Keep up the amazing work with all of your brilliant videos, love all the insights into the music industry that you share!

Sir, You are one of the best RU-vidrs around. After a 40 year break I started making music again a few years ago and your channel has always been informative, inspiring and fun. Your passion and unique approach to showcasing “gear” is a joy to see because everyone can tell you love making music. Don’t let a small noisy minority spoil what you enjoy. By the way, the rushed make-up looks fine 😊

Wow - that's crazy that you had to deal with all those clowns. That is unfortunate. I hope you're all good my man. Keep doing what you love doing 🙏🏻🧡

Many thanks for all your work and art you gave us all this time, your investigative stuff is really great, you throw a lot of light on the the dark road that has become RU-vid a few years ago, and have endured a lot I'm sure. Just thanks for keeping rocking for so much time

Dang, I’m sad things have got this bad that you want to stop. Love your gear videos Benn! 😢

You are one of the most transparent and passionate musicians on RU-vid. To anyone that made you feel like you are being anything but your sincere self, f**k you. I will never understand why people watch videos just to complain about them. You’re a GOAT, Benn, and so many of us love your content and personality. It’s why us “normal people” (grains of salt and all) that watch content we like… well, watch it. If I don’t like it, I don’t watch it. I don’t care about most sports so I don’t watch much sporting content… who populates their own RU-vid feed with content they actively dislike? Sounds like a *SKILL ISSUE* and Benn isn’t the one with said issue… Some of you folks need to get a life or maybe write a song about how you feel because there isn’t much worse cringe than nonproductive “musicians” bagging on real musicians. Unsure how a well priced and cool groovebox is even remotely a hot take. The device involved here is literally called PLAY. I guess your channel isn’t the kind of parasocial drama some of these folks require to find happiness by being a toxic POS behind a keyboard. *BENN YOU RULE - STAY TRUE* ❤❤❤❤❤❤

Excited to see more documentary style work from you! Greener pastures ahead!

Thanks for all the music, reviews and content over the years. I appreciated your efforts.